strektar

[strektar]

me: hey friend: *after two minutes of not replying* hey whats up me: *washing the gasoline off myself* not much hbu

[strektar]

them: capitalism inspires innovation and technological advancement!!

capitalism:

[strektar]

[strektar]

i have a hit new game idea. woman dies. white husband with dark hair and stubble is Pissed

[strektar]

s'cute

[strektar]

all of this happened on the same day………

[strektar]

Their friendship is the best thing to come out of these Olympics

[strektar]

HOLY SHIT 

[strektar]

[strektar]

[strektar]

Alicia keys be like…

[strektar]

inside your body is PITCH BLACK your cells do all of that in the DARK

[strektar]

Do you ever think about how sperm don’t work right at body temperature and that’s why males have external testicles? Design-wise that is such a huge risk to take. Your most important organ is swinging free outside your body, vulnerable to injury or attack. All because one (1) type of cell, your fucking gametes for christ’s sake, cannot function at the normal body temperature of the organism they belong to. What the fuck. I never want to hear a man try and say females are biologically inferior ever again.

[strektar]

Favorite line to use in an argument is “I don’t need to take this from someone who sucks toes.”

It shuts down anyone who does suck toes and completely and totally derails and confuses anyone who doesn’t.

Either way I win.

[strektar]

ellen degeneres is turning 60 years old this week and i’m not sure how to process that information like…. i never knew how old she was and i never really thought about that fact that she has an age…. i feel like she just exists on this planet as an ageless entity

[strektar]

republicans like to say “oh im fiscally conservative and socially liberal” as if the two spheres arent linked. how do you think social programs get funded? what someone means when they say this is “i think welfare is neato but not neat enough to warrant an increase in my taxes”