strigimorphaes

[strigimorphaes]

Physical therapy is wild because they're always like "hey do this weird little movement" and you're like "hmm my brain doesn't seem to know how to activate that movement" and then they'll like trick your brain into doing it by making you do other movements first or making you resist against them moving you or some shit and your brain is like oooooh ✅ new movement unlocked. And then they tell you to do that movement 20 times a day and you do and it makes some part of your body you didn't even know was related hurt less. What the fuck.

[strigimorphaes]

now that’s what i call quality journalism

[strigimorphaes]

[strigimorphaes]

dm’ing people on here is so embarrassing 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️hi it’s me the giant pervert who lives in your phone. how’s it going

[strigimorphaes]

G 😭🫶🏻

[strigimorphaes]

checked my stats and im another 20k away from having written the length of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina in cycling rpf across my fics

[strigimorphaes]

primi quiet quitting the tour de france by telling the press he didn’t feel like going faster

[strigimorphaes]

sometimes you see a guy in the break and you’re like “oh yeah. that’s my blorbo in law!”

[strigimorphaes]

and is jonas in the room with us right now

[strigimorphaes]

Lenny Martinez during stage 4 of the Tour de France 2025

[strigimorphaes]

Wout and Mathieu (+ Remco)

[strigimorphaes]

Primož after stage 4 of the Tour de France 2025 ❤️

[strigimorphaes]

My flowers...

My Beautiful view for writing my beautiful rpf

[strigimorphaes]

My Beautiful view for writing my beautiful rpf

[strigimorphaes]

primi quiet quitting the tour de france by telling the press he didn’t feel like going faster

[strigimorphaes]

invented words for pro cycling things that there currently aren't words for

inspired by the Danish book Madsens ÆØÅ, a similar dictionary of the nonexistent.

Marnick [n.]: A cyclist's state of feeling nostalgic for having unbroken collarbones. Some cyclists experience marnick far before their first crash by virtue of its seeming inevitability.

Squoze: [n.]: A playful thigh-squeeze that lasts just a little too long.

Snudgen [n.]: The expression Tadej Pogacar makes when he tries to wink and smile at the same time.

Greb [n.]: A measuring unit for the quality of team radio messages. 0 greb denotes a perfectly understandable broadcast. At 5 greb, closed captions are required for laypeople to understand. Some commentators are capable of deciphering snippets of up to 7 greb. The highest measured level of intelligibility occurred during the 2017 Prudential Thames–Chiltern Challenge where Lotto Sounal's team radio reached a whopping 12 greb, causing utter confusion when even a simple "Go, go, go" was indistinguishable from an order to turn right, causing a small crash into a local garden hedge.

Blenory [n.]: A disease that affects the victim's perception of time, the primary symptom being a belief that the year is somehow still 2019 and everything is possible. Julian Alaphillipe is believed to be the primary carrier, and a cure has yet to be found.

Glune [n.]: The sense of dread a commentator feels when realizing that they do not remember any historical facts about the area that a flat Tour de France stage passes through and there are still four hours at least until the sprint

Deglurne [vb.]: The act of making up historical facts about the area that a flat Tour de France stage passes through on the spot, knowing that the viewers at home are probably taking a nap anyway and wouldn't be able to tell the difference if they were awake.

Junder [n.]: The quasi-sexual sensation felt by a majority of the peloton in 2024 when exposed to the story of Jonas Abrahamsen's weight gain and subsequent increase in general well-being, his polka dot outfit and his instagram thirst-trap pictures of him shirtless by the poolside eating grapes. Many riders have not yet recovered from the experience.