strugglewell

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Just enjoying a coffee in Quincy Market.

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Was going to make a super long, drawn out post. But I'd rather just talk someone in private about things. Needless to say, mentally I'm struggling.

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Religion has broken my family, my friends, and I.

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silent planet // atlanta, ga photo by: ashton garner do not reupload

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Darkness Divided - The Answer Slaps so hard.

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That moment when your boss likes a status about how I shazamed a song at work so I could find out what artist to not ever listen to in my free time......😬😬😬

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Tbh, I'm happy I grew up in an era where smartphones didn't exist, because my overprotective and strict mother would have been like this.

source

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Ya boy went on a date today and it seemingly went well. Did something go right in my life for a change? Find out on the next episode.

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Silent Planet - Northern Fires (Guernica)

Ration my breath - terror clandestine in my chest. Mangled, I lay on a foreign forest floor. [1] Caught in an instant, divided by distance. Alone in the fray, clutching my trigger I pray as I make amends with death on a distant shore. [2] Such is the fate of the nation state [3] (despite the myths they propagate). [4] The narrative never fits the crime. Democracy’s died this death a thousand times. The masses kneel before the golden cross - held by the priest [5] who bows at the feet of the king. [6]

We stand alone in the dust of what could be, fighting to find our humanity.

Bury me with my name in an unmarked grave - another casualty to the vanity of history. [7] The war marches on after the killing ends. [8] Take our lives: Colonize our minds. [9] I’ve been digging through timelines, historical bylines; I find the fatal flaw in our design lies between thoughts we had and words we knew [10] - between what we’re told and what is true. [11] Who fuels the fascist? [12] A classist - inculcating the masses in passes… under the contrived countenance of contrition. [13] The victor writes the story [14] - more often burns the manuscript. Set fire to a pyre, cremate the crimes that they commit. [15] But the flames kept us warm, so we bit our tongues and tasted scorn. The bitter stench of finite men betrayed by the thieves they swore to pretend. The bell will toll [16] and in the end lay only echoes of what could have been. [17]

We stand alone in the dust of what could be, fighting to find our humanity. We stand alone in the dust of what could be; nothing we fought for will set us free. [18] Throw myself, headlong, to the jaws of the beast: [19] The war machine that feeds for eternity. Throw myself, headlong, to the jaws of the beast: The war machine that turns for eternity. Throw myself, headlong, to the jaws of the beast: The war machine that feeds for eternity. Throw myself, headlong, to the jaws of the beast: The war machine that turns for eternity.

1. Spring, 1937. Spain. 2. Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bells Tolls 3. Leo Tolstoy, Patriotism and Government 4. Plato, The Republic 5. Religion as a means for sustaining the rule of fascist dictator Francisco Franco from 1939-1975 6. Hugh Thomas, The Spanish Civil War 7. Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality: The Will to Knowledge 8. Richard K. Morgan, Altered Carbon 9. George Orwell, 1984 10. Jacques Lacan, The Four Fundamental Concepts of Psychoanalysis 11. Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride 12. Anthony Beevor, The Battle for Spain 13. American corporations, such as Texaco oil, that made large financial gains due to loyal support of Franco’s nationalist forces in Spain, and subsequently Hitler in Europe. 14. Jawaharlal Nehru, The Discovery of India 15. The Bombing of Guernica, 26 April, 1937. 16. John Donne, Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions: Meditation XVII 17. George Santayana, Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies 18. Matthew 26:52 19. Mario Savio

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Was able to read over some lyrics from the Silent Planet album that isn't even out yet and it's so dark. I absolutely love it. Nobody is ready. This album is truth combined with relativity on subject matters you may not think would be relateable, but how Garrett ties the lyrics into something relatable is amazing. Heard a snippet of the single they're releasing in a week, too, and it's some of the gnarliest guitar work I have heard from this band. It's like Everything Was Sound on steroids. Not to mention there's going to be a song that sounds like the Deftones. I've been waiting more than a year for this album and the release of their single in a week which I'm assuming will eliminate the secret of the album title (which I already know) and it will be a step closer in a release that I've been waiting so long for.

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This has been a bad mental health week for me. Today has been the worst of them all. Really struggling.

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Do salaried jobs for introverts even exist? Everyone in my area is just looking for customer service reps on monster and indeed. I just want to do my job and be left alone. Apparently having an associate's degree means nothing too.

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Me, passing someone on the highway: bitch

Me, being passed on the highway: bitch

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Send me messages.

Would love some company tonight.

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The Overseer - Finer Fiend

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Literally crying. My sister's boyfriend and I yell stuff like this and it's hilarious.

me getting some Irish dick: oh please don’t stop

him: aye ya loike that do ya? Wud ya loike if ah went harder? Wud ya loike that ya little sloot?

me: uh…. y…yeah….

him: whut was that?

me: uh… aye….

him: