stuffandthingsalways

[stuffandthingsalways]

I need to post this here, otherwise I’m going to text it to someone and seem like a crazy person. Thanks to whomever reads this. I just need it out of my head.

Ok so here’s the thing. You are/were a perfect sounding board. You don’t know me, though you once did. You have no clue what the 20 years since then has made me. I try hard. I work harder. I’m a great nurse, with impeccable bedside manner. I can tell when someone needs a hand to hold and when someone needs to be smacked in the face with the truth of the situation. I’m a great nurse, but I’m a phenomenal mother. I have a beautiful amazing daughter, who at 2, I can tell will be smarter than I could ever hope to be. I never wanted to be a mom. I was told I never could be, and I was fine with it. I had made my peace. (Man was I wrong) I was in a failing marriage with a man whose charming wit and charisma had turned cruel. He could and would suck all the joy from the room with one comment, then claim he was just being honest. It was hurtful. I soon learned it was easier to shrink and hide, it was easier to excuse the behavior than confront it. It became my defining characteristic. The dutiful wife who saw what others couldn’t. The only one who could see the “real” (ex husbands name), even though every one else saw the pain he caused. I’m not not proud of it. But that’s the truth if it.

My daughter, she showed me, even before she was born, that life isn’t what I thought it was. She taught me that I have a duty to be a person in my own right, strong and proud. She taught me that to stand up for her, I had to stand up for myself first. She’s amazing. She’ll never know what she brought to my life, and she shouldn’t, it wouldn’t be fair for her to know.

I hate that my life is so linked to a person who outside of helping bring (my daughter) into the world, I can’t stand the sight of. A person who has hurt me in ways I’m still trying to understand.

I’m ok with being a single mom. I’m ok with starting over. I’m ok with having to live with my parents for a few months even as I pay rent somewhere else to keep her safe. I’m ok with being a statistic. I’m ok with being 37 and alone. My support system is vast and strong. I don’t need love. I have it. I don’t need friendship. I have that too.

I don’t need pity. I’ve seen enough of it.

I don’t need people to see me for who I used to be. I’m not weak or fragile. I go to work and see death almost every shift, up close and personal with no regard for age race or family. I cry coming home hoping I don’t don’t contract covid, praying (although I don’t believe) that I don’t give it to someone else.

I’m strong as fuck, but my supply of strength is running low. I’m going through a divorce, a custody battle and a law suit for emotional distress (yeah my ex is that special kind of asshole who is suing me for leaving him) all while working through a pandemic that could kill me at anytime. I’m a fucking warrior.

I may cry, but I get up and do what needs to be done because anything less is failure.

Above all, what I don’t need is someone to reduce me and my experiences to one thing. I’m more than that. I assumed people who took the time to talk to me could see that, could look beyond their preconceived notions of my life.

It hurts me to know that that isn’t true.

It’s not your fault of course. I can’t blame you for your feelings, but I can resent them. I’m not (my ex) I’m a person in my own right. I don’t need to be reduced to someone’s wife because even when I was married I was always more than that. Even when I was hiding behind a facade of happiness and love that didn’t exist I was more than that.

I hope you find happiness. I hope you find a new job that you love. I hope one day you stop hiding too. It was nice catching up.

Also fuck you.

[stuffandthingsalways]

[stuffandthingsalways]

You’re stronger than your pain, you're stronger than your depression and you're way more strong than you think.

Find people who love you for exactly who and what you are. Find people that see the good in you, even through the broken pieces and shattered self worth.

Going back to what broke you can be a comfort at first, but it will never ever bring you peace. No matter your past or present circumstances you deserve peace.

“Whatever you do, don’t run back to what broke you.”

— Frank Ocean

[stuffandthingsalways]

This is wonderful

David Tennant and Michael Sheen on Top Gear:

[stuffandthingsalways]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by His Dark Materials (@darkmaterialsofficial) on Aug 19, 2019 at 8:00am PDT

This photo alone might kill me.

Gosh I just adore them both.

[stuffandthingsalways]

Not to take anything away from David Tennant because David fucking Tennant, but Michael Sheen was truly superb in Good Omens. I’m still a little in love with Masters of Sex Sheen and so profoundly and amusedly disgusted with The Good Fight Sheen and someone like him, that is where you see it - how actors can become completely different people just like that. Because there is absolutely nothing of William Masters in Aziraphale, for instance. You barely notice it’s the exact same face because - because they’re just not the same person. Different voice, different quirks, different personality, completely different energy. I don’t think I’d ever seen Sheen play someone as reticent and self-contained as Aziraphale, and especially thinking of Masters, I wasn’t sure he actually could (like, when I saw the first Good Omens pictures I definitely thought Tennant was born to play an eye-rolling demon, but Michael Sheen seemed an odd choice for a bookish angel). Instead, he’s perfect - as usual. All the kudos.

[stuffandthingsalways]

Georgia is my hero.

Georgia, please, it’s a Monday and none of us asked to be murdered

[stuffandthingsalways]

[stuffandthingsalways]

Just made the decision to leave my relationship three days ago. It was the hardest decision of my life, but it was necessary. I'm worth more than being unhappy.

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This is... This is just... Wow.

Amazing job.

[stuffandthingsalways]

"doctor who" is like the x-files except mulder is also bbc sherlock and scully is a different person every season. -🍒

i’m sorry i didn’t really get this, maybe cause i’ve never seen the x files and i don’t know the characters (other than by name but i had to google who is who lol)

[stuffandthingsalways]

Let it go

It's so bizarre to see such a 180° flip on Michael Sheen. (in literally like 2 hours) He's a grown man, dating and having a baby with a grown woman. Let them be.

The bottom line is, we don't know him, we certainly don't know her, we don't know the circumstances of their relationship, and it isn't for us to speculate.

Let's just agree to enjoy Michael Sheen for what he does for us. He's s brilliant actor, he supports and interacts with a huge fandom, he does large amounts of charity work, and he's a seemingly nice and charming man. (Plus he's blazing hot)

Isn't all of that enough?

We don't need to be involved in his personal affairs, or speculate on them. (Yes he's a public figure, but he's still human. Let him live his life.)

The only thing we should be is happy. Say congratulations and move on. This news does not change our lives in any way.

[stuffandthingsalways]

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I don't think anyone talks about Michael Sheen's role as Roland Blum enough.

It's insane how incredibly good he is at being such a terrible human.

It's the antithesis of Aziraphale, and it's a testament to his talent that he can pull both off, and make us believe he is both those characters completely.

People really should watch him in The Good Fight. It's worth it for his facial expressions alone. I promise.

[stuffandthingsalways]

This is so well deserved. I'm so happy for everyone involved. Yay

SCHITT’S CREEK 2019 EMMY NOMINATIONS

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES - 2019

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES - 2019

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES - 2019

OUTSTANDING CONTEMPORARY COSTUMES - 2019

[stuffandthingsalways]

This is my favorite Michael Sheen interview.

I love their rapport.

Plus Michael talks about masturbation, feels up a desk, dances very poorly and plays the harmonica.

What's not to love?

[stuffandthingsalways]

Have you ever seen something so beautiful, that it's hard to look at it for too long?

Yeah no, me either... I'll just leave now.