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[stuffedmetalbutterfly]

Living with PCOS.

Warning: long post a head.

I was diagnosed with pcos last year 2nd of July. I couldn't forget that day because finally there was an explanation, a reason why I'm feeling things, why I feel different. You'll find out why.

Growing up i was the only girl in our house. Being a kid was easy, i don't really have an older sister compare what was the norms when it comes to my developing body. I thought wearing baby bra at second grade was normal until i found out all my friends just wears sando.

Then comes my third grade, another development came to my body. My first period.

At first it was just a blood spot on my undies. I grew up having UTI so i thought maybe it's from my UTI. So i decided to ignore it and went on my usual routine. Go to school and then go home. The following day was interesting though, upon coming home from school. I started feeling something different, my undies feel wet but not from pee. Immediately went to my room and when i lifted up my skirt i saw blood on my shorts. I was shocked and i told my nana what was happening. She told me that i already got my period. Of course everyone in the family was shocked. They believe i got my period too soon. I was just roughly 8-9 years old at that time.

But i always remember dealing with heavy period flow that will last for like 4-5 days. It was frustrating. I was always scared when I'm at school because I don't want to get blood stains on my uniform.

I also remember having intense breakouts on my face. Like having multiple big acnes all over my face. I tried different soaps and creams to relieve the pimples but things just got from worse to worst. Soon my whole cheeks and forehead are red from the pimples. It was disgusting. And it took toll on my 12 year old self. I began losing self confidence because of how i look. I also noticed that i have this ugly hairs on my forearms and my legs.

During my first year in highschool, i notice my period has these weird pattern. Like i would have my period for over 2 months and then the following 2 months i would have no period. And then i would have my period again but i would have these intense pain on my lower abdomen. Little did i was having dysmenorrhea at that time. I was still in highschool so ask my health teacher if what's happening to me was normal. She told me that my menstrual cycle was called as irregular cycle because normally menstruation would come after 28 days. Mine was a little bit off schedule. She told me that i should go see a doctor to correct my menstrual cycle. She also told me not to worry that much because I was still yound and probably my body was just getting used to having menstruation. And maybe overtime my menstrual cycle would become regular.

And with that in mind. I decided not to ask my mom to go to a doctor and wait till my body adjust to the regular menstrual phase. And for a while it did. Like i was regular for like few months but my acne was still there, i also have these acne on my back. My body hairs becoming even more noticeable especially on my legs. Needless to say i had endure my highschool life despite of those things.

Then come my college life. I took interest in a health care program. It was pretty busy. I had to keep up with the schedules at school that it was easy to forget my period. Sometimes i don't know i had my period for a month, I'm confused on whether my period hasn't come or if it had. Eventually when people will ask me about my period i will always say that I'm irregular and when i do, i frequently experience it with dysmenorrhea.

I knew i had to do something. But i keep putting it off because of my busy schedule at the university. (I was in five year program mind you.) I even find it very convenient when my period wouldn't come because i didn't have to worry about bringing extra set of uniform in case i had blood stains. During the first 4 years of my college life my menstrual cycle was like an irregular regular, wherein i would have my period for 5 days (heavy flow) for the consecutive 2 months. And then i would have no menstruation for the next 2 months after that. I had also gain weight during those 4 years.

I developed these bad habit of stress eating. Whenever i feel stress over school work, i would eat like a lot of food. I also stress eat whenever i hadn't got a chance to sleep due to school work. Yes it was that busy. I had to be up all night doing academic work, and then get ready for school the following day. To keep up with that lifestyle i usually eat A LOT. But it was all worth it because i usually finish being one of the top students of courses of my program, the only down side of it the irregular menstrual cycle with the much more intense dysmenorrhea and the gaining weight.

Fast forward to my 5th year, the 5th year of the program at university was a 10 month period of internship to different clinics and hospitals. If the first 4 years of my college life was toxic. The transition of that and to first few months of the internship was even more toxic. There's this medical examination, the compre exams, my research papers. Again it was easy to lose track of my period.

I was on my 4th month of internship (July 2019), when i noticed that i haven't got my period. When i check the calendar i realized i haven't got my period for the past 7 months. That was even before my pre internship period. Luckily i had a day off that month because the clinic had to close.

I immediately took the chance and went to the hospital to have and OB gyn check up. I remember getting there alone because my mom was at work that time. I also remember waiting in line and being interviewed 2 times; one when i was booking for a gynecologist, and the second one was when i was interviewed by my own gynecologist. On those both times i remember having ask the same question. "Am i sure that i was not pregnant." Of course i knew it will eventually be ask because I didn't got my period for 7 months. I answered no, sure I'm not pregnant. After being interviewed by my gynecologist. I was advised to undergo ultrasound. When the results came back, my gynecologist informed me that i was positive for having PCOS or the polycystic ovarian syndrome. There was it. The answer why i was gaining weight fast, the irregular menstrual cycle, the excessive body hairs, the intense dysmenorrhea. My gynecologist explained what was happening to my body and why I wasn't having my period for the fast few months. My doctor also explained that i need to lose weight and that there is a possibility that i would have difficulty getting pregnant. I wasn't planning on getting pregnant that time but heck i got emotional. I cried. And even for the fact that i went there alone made me even more emotional. my doctor gave me this a set of medication and i was advised to come back on the first that i got my period. I did as i was told, I took the meds for 7 days. And i did my usual routine of going to my internship duty. When my first day of period came, i went back to my genecologist and then she prescribed pills after explaining to me the mechanism of how the pills work and it's potential side effects which is gaining more weight. How fun. But since it was supposed to regulate my menstrual cycle and improves my dysmenorrhea, i decided to take the pills.

My menstrual cycle came back and now i do have a regular cycle but that was except for the fact that i was getting really light flow of dark red blood that will last for only 3 days.

Also i decided to try several changes in my diet, the only diet that was effective for me was the ketogenic diet. It's a low card diet. I did that for a few months. But i had to eventually stop it because it took toll on my studies. I find it hard to absorb information and i wasn't as sharp as i used to be prior to my keto diet. A month after stopping this diet immediately gain weight as fast as i lose weight. I lost 6 kilos during keto for 4 months. Then when i stopped keto i immediately gain 2 kilos in just one month. How freaking sad.

Currently, 9 months after being diagnosed with pcos. I'm still taking my pills despite the advice of my doctor to take it only for 6 months, because i still haven't regulate my menstrual cycle. I'm still looking for other diet that wouldn't make it hard for me to study. I also notice that as i took the pills longer. My emotional state becomes harder to control. I'm still looking ways for improvement, hopefully soon I stumble upon effective ways for me with less the troubles. My advice for now to other women out there with the same condition as mine, it's not the end. And being diagnosed with pcos doesn't mean we won't have kids in the future. We will just find it a bit hard to conceived. Also it really helps when you talk about what your feeling. There's a lot of PCOS support groups out there that has the same condition as we are. And that's when you'll know that you are not alone in this journey. You are not alone in this battle. You are a warrior and you can win this.

#PCOS, #PCOSstory, #PCOSwarrior, #MyLifeWithPCOS, #PolicysticOvarianSyndrome

#online journal, #storytime

[stuffedmetalbutterfly]

Breakfast champorado 💕💕

[stuffedmetalbutterfly]

Who am i

Hi. It's my first time blogging. And I'd like you to call me nikki. Actually that's not my real name. We're just gonna use it for some reason I'm not gonna explain for now but maybe on my otheeer blogs (assuming there's more to come).

Okay going back.. where were we?

Right, on the blog intro.

So my name is nikki. I'm 21 years old. I live in the Philippines. 100% pure filipina. I'm not working as of the moment, I'm studying bachelor of science in Physiotherapy, currently on my 5th year but not quite graduating yet (as to why, I'm gonna tell it on my other blog-- assuming there's more to come) And just now i decided to start my own blog. Why? I don't now. This is a random 2 am thought.

Just kidding. I want to start a blog because i want to start expressing myself more. I need and outlet where i can put a piece of me(ewww) i mean like an idea of me, of who i am. What i do. I love doing. My opinion on things which i know is unsolicited but I'm writing it on my blog anyways. Because it's my blog. Yeayyyy

I'm actually excited. Like i feel alive right now. The time is 2:42am yes. I'm currently still awake and randomly decided i want to start my own blog.

Why start now?

Because i have plenty of time. As we all now. Today is the time where it is vital that we stay in our home due to the corona virus. That gave me a lot of time which I don't usually have because I'm a PT student. So now that I've got the time. I decided to finally start one of the things i want to do back when i was still a teenager but i just can't because you know. Being a teenager is tough job. So many deadlines to achieve, hormones to deal with. But now I'm tougher and older and I'm gonna tell you stories. A lot of them. Different stories, some are funny, some a sweet, some stories gonna make you contemplate about life, some is scary, it's a mix of everything. Everything going on in life.

Are you ready to know me and have fun?