stumpymatt

[stumpymatt]

i went to a drag show and one of the acts was Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus

[stumpymatt]

[stumpymatt]

calvin and hobbes

[stumpymatt]

there's a jewish story about a rich man who goes to his rabbi to ask him about building an orphanage, and the rabbi is like "yeah duh go for it!!" and then later the rich guy comes back and is like "actually I've decided not to... I was just doing it for my own image and not coz I cared about orphans" and the rabbi was like "bitch the orphans don't care why you're building the orphanage!!!" and sometimes I wish I could say that to lefties who haven't unpacked their christian upbringing. sometimes motives don't matter!! who give a fuck why a politician wants to do a good thing? bitch the orphans don't!!

[stumpymatt]

if you work with kids 80% of your job is just this

[stumpymatt]

found this three year old draft buried in my files. is it funny? I don't remember

[stumpymatt]

[stumpymatt]

losing it

[stumpymatt]

[stumpymatt]

you are the instrument by which the universe cares or whatever

[stumpymatt]

Steve the Pigeon (2020 vs 2025)

[stumpymatt]

[stumpymatt]

John Brosio, State of the Union, 2011, oil on canvas

[stumpymatt]

local mob boss, puffing on a cigarette angrily:

goon:

Batman, tied to a chair six feet away:

mob boss: did ya have to tie him to the chair with his legs spread open like that?

[stumpymatt]

why would you do this to me