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[stupidnames]

booty shorts that say “speak friend and enter”

[stupidnames]

Doc, what are the top five items food banks LOVE to receive? I'm doing a collection soon and want to ask for specifics.

MONEY. WE WANT MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. WE CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT. WE HAVE ACCESS TO DEALS YOU COULD NEVER. MONEY

That aside.

 I’m only going to talk about food items but if your food bank takes personal items, a lot of times diapers, feminine hygiene products, etc, are very very welcome. 

1) Canned chicken and beef 

looooooove this stuff. It’s expensive, it lasts forever, it tastes good and it can be used a variety of ways. This stuff is fucking catnip to food banks, it’s so hard for us to provide proteins. 

2) Fancy nut butters

Peanut butter is a standby for food banks as a shelf-stable inexpensive protein, but if we have a family with a kid with a peanut allergy that’s not going to work. Non-peanut butters are expensive and it’s something we hardly ever see donated. (we also like peanut butter, but that’s easier for us to buy ourselves than non-peanut butters)

3) Canned or packaged tuna

You may notice a trend here in shelf-stable proteins. And yeah. That’s basically it, so I’m not going to keep harping on it. But this stuff is a godsend. 

4) Easy breakfast things for kids (Granola bars, instant oatmeal, and the like) 

Whatever Donald Trump tells you, most people who get food from food banks are actually working their asses off and so they have to leave Obama to raise their baby or whatever, and they don’t have a lot of time in the morning. Things like this that kids can make for themselves are expensive. (Another trend you may be noticing–donate shit that costs a lot of money. That helps us more than all the shitty green bean cans in the world) But they are so helpful for busy working families where the parents may not have a set schedule and sometimes little Amanda is making her own breakfast before she runs off to school. Don’t let kids go to school hungry. 

5) Shelf-stable juice

This is one people never think of! But if you show up with a bunch of (preferably reduced sugar stuff) bottles of juice at my door, oh man, you are gonna get so many check mark and okay hand emoticons. This stuff is great for kids, and it doesn’t require refrigeration until it’s opened, so it works great for food drives. 

[stupidnames]

[stupidnames]

Comrades, Henry Scott Tuke 1924.

[stupidnames]

Just saw an ad for a portable blender that you charge like a phone and it was like “take it anywhere!” and showed someone using it on a dark plane and let me tell you if I were on an overnight flight and the lady two rows up just got her baby to sleep and the flight attendants are all whispering and the person next to me pulled out a fucking BLENDER Id go absolutely fucking apeshit

[stupidnames]

You guys probably already know this, but in case you forgot, it’s fine to just, like, put cool stuff in your novel. Names don’t always have to have special meanings, the way the sword swishes doesn’t have to be of extreme plot significance, there doesn’t need to be “another angle” to a particular character…It’s certainly good to use metaphors, items, themes, motifs, and suggestions to loftier ends, but you liking something can be enough.

[stupidnames]

hollywood: it’s time to make another lesbian movie can someone please bring out the wheel of white women….. we’re gonna have *spins* saoirse ronan and *spins* kate winslet in a period piece film! this is perfect because there’s a huge age gap too

y’all:

[stupidnames]

Militant vegans shut the fuck up challenge

You’re racist and you hate poor people, we get it dude

[stupidnames]

i am SO SICK of unhappy endings. idk about anyone else but the #1 reason i like fiction is because everything can always work out no matter how bad it is. “what if the good guys lost” shut up. you are so fucking boring. give me happy endings or give me nothing

[stupidnames]

Brazilian states || Estados brasileiros

[stupidnames]

Bottom left stovetop burner stans make some noise

[stupidnames]

Me, in tears, halfway through writing a 300 word essay: I can’t do this anymore

Person on A03 who’s writing for fun:

[stupidnames]

Research has shown that pleasure affects nutrient absorption. In a 1970s study of Swedish and Thai women, it was found that when the Thai women were eating their own (preferred) cuisine, they absorbed about 50% more iron from the meal than they did from eating the unfamiliar Swedish food. And the same was true in the reverse for the Swedish women. When both groups were split internally and one group given a paste made from the exact same meal and the other was given the meal itself, those eating the paste absorbed 70% less iron than those eating the food in its normal state.

Pleasure affects our metabolic pathways; it’s a facet of the complex gut-brain connection. If you’re eating foods you don’t like because you think it’s healthy, it’s not actually doing your body much good (it’s also unsustainable, we’re pleasure-seeking creatures). Eat food you enjoy, it’s a win-win.

[stupidnames]

no other song is “this generation’s bohemian rhapsody”

bohemian rhapsody is every generation’s bohemian rhapsody

[stupidnames]

Okay in my house we have a strange tradition. My mother builds this beautiful Christmas village.

It wraps all around our house through the rooms and under the trees and it’s wonderful.

Every year she hides the Christmas Vampire

This started when I was a very small got child and spread to all of my friends, including my best friend from elementary school who I just so happened to grow up and marry. Now that we have grown up and moved nearly 600 miles away we still always go home for a week at Christmas for multiple reasons, including the Christmas Vampire.

Needless to say we still partake and things have gotten heated.

Stay tuned for the epic conclusion and to see my husband and father in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sooty costume when I find the Christmas Vampire First!

Happy Haunting!

[stupidnames]

Literally watching capitalism destroy the new productive forces (social networks, free access to software and media, etc) created by the internet because it’s near impossible to extract surplus value out of them is quite a trip really. And by a trip I mean heartbreaking

[stupidnames]

Some facts:

1) Black Americans created jazz. 2) Jewish Americans created comic books. 3) These things are said to be the only original American art forms.