suchaladyxo-blog

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As I'm bartending the guy I've been "talking to" shows up to visit. We're just smiling ear to ear at one another. Constantly. As I'm counting down tips readying to leave one of my regulars is asking questions lol Her - who are you, are you her boyfriend ? Him (smiling at me) says - no She then laughs and says " oh I thought maybe you were here trying to pick her up" With the biggest grin and proudest tone in his voice he says " oh no, I most certainly am" lol & that's when I forgot about all this hurt I've been carrying around.

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and if he wants to leave then let him leave you are terrifying and strange and beautiful something not everyone knows how to love

Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult To Love (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

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I asked him if his hands were always clammy or if he was just nervous to hold my hand, he said nervous. Ooh the feels ☺️

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So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.

  Meredith Grey   (via itcuddles)

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Addiction is tricky. For example: a man who quit smoking for 11 years spent 15 seconds in an elevator with a man smoking a cigarette. He gave in. What I’m trying to say is I think I love you again.

(via hayiey)

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Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting

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I crave space. It charges my batteries. It helps me breathe. Being around people can be so exhausting, because most of them love to take and barely know how to give - except for a rare few.

Katie Kacvinsky (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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I feel lost.. on We Heart It.

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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

(via 0neloveoneheart)

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I wanna feel a sunburn just to know that I'm alive

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I have crohns too. Congrats on the pregnancy! I hope for a smooth pregnancy :)

Thankyou ! Good luck to you with your health (:

[suchaladyxo-blog]

18 weeks pregnant with active Crohn's disease

This fall I could feel remission coming to an end. I was sick again, everyday. So exhausted chained to my bed. I soon found out I was pregnant. Studies showed becoming pregnant can actually kick it into remission. From ally surgeries, deficiencies and radiation/medicine I was always told I was unlikely to ever have a baby. I pretty much thought it'd never be a mother. Well I became pregnant and luckily I felt better. Better than I had in years. Within 2 weeks I was not so lucky and spent the first 3 months of the pregnancy with morning sickness that lasted 24/7. Finally hitting the 2nd trimester it eased up and I was feeling better. I finally got a good full time job. ( I've lost every single good job from my disease, the surgeries.. Missing to much work) I'm considered high risk already, but the last couple weeks I'm feeling all the familiar symptoms of active crohns. I officially am sick, not eating.. Am exhausted in pain everyday. I worry about the health of my little girl growing inside of me. I'm severely dehydrated with low blood sugar, low iron.. Uti etc. I'm scared about being a good mom.. Maintaining a good job.. Knowing the rest of my life I'll be deathly sick. This isn't fair. I've be sick for 4 years and at 22 I will never come to terms with this disease/hell being for life.

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Crohnie right here

Reblog if you have IBD, be it Crohn's disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Indeterminate Colitis, or anything in between that is IBD.

I may follow you, but mostly I just want to see how many of us there are on Tumblr.  #curious

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Never thought I'd be able to have a baby.. Atleast not anytime soon. My crohns has made me sick for years. My boyfriend and I talk about children, marriage, getting our own house. He said he wants nothing more than to spend his life with me and would the luckiest man in the world to have a family with me. He's 23, I'm 22 and lately I noticed my crohns hadn't been as bad.. I can actually eat, but have nausea a lot. Just found out were expecting ! Praying this baby will be healthy & I will stay in remission and carry to full term. I don't care if it's a boy or girl I just want healthy.

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Day 139: “I Want To Know Your Plans” by Say Anything.

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It's been so long since I just felt good. No stomach aches, no immediate pain from even the smallest attempt at consuming food. Without throwing up, or exhaustion that feels like a truck ran me over. Without pain that I can literally feel from the roots of my falling out hair, to tip of my frozen toes. I feel trapped in a body that wants nothing but to destroy itself. I'm sick of the bags under my eyes, the paleness in my face & constantly worrying about committing to anything in fear of being too sick to come through on. I hate it when people mention how sick I look, or people telling me there sorry. I'm not looking for pitty, or sympathy. Just some understanding. Understanding that I have limitations. That somedays no matter how much I coach myself or try to get out of bed, it's impossible. That being a 22 year old doesn't make me a "normal" 22 year old. I can't drink, I tired out from the dullest things. That as much as I want to go out and watch you get wasted that I'm far too sick to. That I don't chose to work but not make plans with friends. That being sick means missing work and it makes it that much harder to pay my bills. That my pride is far too great and my stubborn ways will not let you help me in any way. That I don't have time for drama, I'm too drained to deal with the nonsense. That I will not chase anyone and will try my best to not depend on or need anyone cause people leave. Everyone leaves eventually but being an irritable, tired sick person makes it that much easier to be walked out on. Believe me, I've lost my closest friends, jobs I worked so hard for because of this sickness. Anything I work hard for, that I hold onto so tightly is always somehow ripped away from me. Excuse me if I'm irritable, or get emotional. I can't handle being this sick everyday. I can't imagine dealing with me, cause I can hardly deal with myself.

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I'm gonna make it if it kills me