sugar-intraining

[sugar-intraining]

Hi! I'm a 19 year old college student, with little dating experience. This past school year, I went on my first date & had multiple subsequent dates w/ a classmate. After 4-5 dates, I did not see a future & ended it. I ended our relationship due to lack of compatibility & bc I was not attracted to him. (Even my friends & family thought he was unattractive too & told me this before & after)So I'm wondering how attracted should one be to their partner? How much time does attraction need?

This is a fun question. I really enjoyed breaking this down.

First, I’ll say attraction does not equal compatibility. They often get conflated, but they’re not the same thing.

You can be attracted to someone, romantically, physically, and/or emotionally, but not be compatible. And vice versa. I’ve been attracted to people, but after spending time with them I realized that as attractive as they are, we won’t work together. The compatibility was off.

Compatibility is about the ease of being with another person, in my opinion.

I’m a very personable person, but I hate carrying conversations on my own. Can I talk to you and we have a good repertoire? Even if they’re shy, can we still talk easily? For romantic partners, can I talk to you about anything under the sun? My first college boyfriend and I spent a night outside and just talked about traveling all night. It was natural, easy, and worked well.

Too many people think compatibility is about finding someone who likes the same things as you, is in the same industry, or possibly had the same racial/ethnic background. I disagree. It’s not about finding your twin in others, it’s about fitting well together.

In a personal anecdote; I work best with a lot of white noise. Since I’ve been working from home, I’ll usually have the tv, my music, and a YouTube video going in the background while I work. But M can tune out literally any sound he hears while he works, but if he doesn’t see another person working around him, he easily procrastinates because he doesn’t have a sense of urgency. This balance means we can comfortably work together in the same space without one person having to suffer. To me, that’s compatibility on a small scale. We fit more like puzzle pieces. We have different upbringings, different opinions, we like different shows, movies, etc. but it doesn’t work in an opposing way, they work to balance each other out really well.

Can you just be together? Easily? Do you feel pressure or discomfort around them? Are you attracted to them, they’re wonderful to you, but the two of you just can’t figure out a comfortable flow? Can you balance each other out? Those are the questions to ask yourself.

Attraction is complex, and it’s governed by many other factors. None of our preferences are determined by us alone. The media, our families, and society as a whole influence what/who we deem attractive. This is a larger discussion for another day.

But I do believe you need to be strongly attracted to the person you choose to be with. It doesn’t have to be instant, but it does need to be there. If you aren’t feeling the spark, you shouldn’t force it.

In terms of time, it’s entirely subjective. I personally go by the initial feeling I get, because I have always found it to be the most honest. I would usually pursue people who I felt initial attraction to. I think trying to make yourself attracted to a person is a terrible decision. It’s unfair to you and them. I think you more than have it a shot with four dates. If it wasn’t there, it wasn’t there.

And the people you aren’t attracted to but are compatible with could be great friends, because balance is important in all relationships, not just romantic.

That’s my two cents. I focused more on compatibility because that, at its core, is what governs relationships, in my opinion. You can be physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to someone, but if you can’t spend more than five minutes with them without getting a tension headache, it’s not worth it.

[sugar-intraining]

𝐀 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐮𝐱𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐮𝐱𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐮𝐱𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞. 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐮𝐱𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬.

[sugar-intraining]

What is your opinion on men saying women today have an “entitled” mindset when it comes to wanting a man with money?

They’re embarrassed and lame.

Women have always wanted men with money. Men literally created and cultivated that from the very beginning.

They came up with the culture of providing, they came up with the idea that they would go out and work and women would stay in the home. That’s what they created.

And then, over time, the world got bigger, landscapes changed, and suddenly, there was a shockingly small pot of objective wealth, and a lot of men were shut out of the rewards that were ‘supposed’ to be theirs by virtue of being a man.

But nothing changed for women.

Women were (and are still) valued as a commodity, disenfranchised, and systematically kept out of various fields which we could make contributions to. It gets even worse when you factor in race, class, and ethnicity.

But we stuck to what we knew. We find the man with the best prospects, the best chance at giving us the life we desire. And men knew that. So they begun to change the narrative.

Suddenly, marrying for the betterment of your family was the devil. It was going against all things right in this world. All women, the (poor) men said, should follow their hearts. Pick love over practicality, or funds, or anything else. Always choose love.

Well, marrying for love doesn’t actually do anything for women. At all. Marrying for love was an invention by, and for, (poor) men.

Because if they could woo you with love, they didn’t have to provide. If they could woo you with how noble they were, how they adored you and cherished you, you might get past the scraps the was bringing back, or the fact that you’re dressed in tatters because he has nothing to provide. 🥰

If they could get you by worming their way into your heart with empty promises, or the belief that they would treat you better than whomever your family chose for you, they were still getting their rightful prize for being a man. They got a beautiful woman, and she didn’t care if he provided! Win-win.

So now, you’re disenfranchised, barred from doing anything to support yourself, and now you’re tied to a dead weight. Forever.

And this myth of love conquering all kept going! For centuries! It survived several revolutions, the civil rights movement, and all of the waves of feminism.

And now, women are starting to wake up. They recognize the women they shunned and hated for years for always bouncing from man to man, getting spoiled, and eventually landing with someone who worshipped the ground she walked on, was actually right.

Now the myth begins to crumble. The rose colored glasses come off, and women begin to see that empty promises are just that, empty. And empty promises don’t keep you warm at night.

And thus, the (broke, dusty, poor) men do what they do best. They lash out. They curse women for daring to think they could do better. They throw tantrums, they threaten, they escalate.

Desperate ravings of people who don’t see women as people, but prizes.

They are emboldened by the women who are still lost in the fog, clinging to the myth that any man is worth it.

They know women aren’t entitled. They know this is the best way to build a life and a family. They know. They’re just angry, because the system that was built to benefit them is failing them. But they can’t lash out at each other, because that puts the entire system in jeopardy.

It’s funny to watch (poor) men reconcile with the patriarchy.

If they knew better, they’d be so angry, they’d get rid of it themselves.

[sugar-intraining]

The toxic part of the leveling up culture, really made you believe that in order to be a high value woman, you should constantly talk about your standards. Listen to me: you don’t have to tell anyone about what you want. You don’t have to post that you expect a man to provide for everything in the relationship: just walk away from men who don’t. No explanation, not to him, not to your girlfriends. If a man starts disrespecting you, maybe makes sexual allusions while chatting, expects you to go to his home to “netflix and chill”, just don’t answer him, block him, whatever. You don’t have to say that you are a high quality woman and you have other standards. The same applies in every situation, when you say no to something because it doesn’t match your standards: you don’t need to explain yourself and saying that you have other expectations, please. Be silent about the things you want, especially on social media, especially on your personal profile. Just walk away from what doesn’t match your standards. Silently.

[sugar-intraining]

Something I need to remind myself at least once a year

Some of my thoughts… 

There are a lot of things you should fight for in life and a man is not one of them. Someone who is truly yours will remain yours. Someone who values and respects you, will love you day in and day out. Simply put, there would be no excuses. You cannot force a connection and you cannot convince someone to love or care for you; these are choices an individual must make on their own. Forced love is not real love. Manipulated love is not real love. Take your dignity and please remove yourself from a situation that is no longer serving you, or in your best interest. 

Motivation. There is no one out there who can motivate you to do something like you can. You are in control when it comes to what you want. If you do not pursue it, it is clear that you do not want it bad enough. When there is something that piques your interest, that’s your signal to chase it. There are many things to chase in life, such as, your dreams, your career, and your own success. Your life will only be as fulfilling as you allow it to be. Take this as a lesson from a girl who had her eyes on all the wrong things and wrong people. No one wants to talk about their upsetting events or disappointments but failure is a part of life. One of my favorite sayings, “you can’t win them all”. It’s something I live by and on the darkest days, don’t forget the little things in life that bring you joy. Such as, a warm cup of tea, phone calls with loved ones, and clean bedsheets. 

Stop forcing friendships and connections. If you notice that the people in your life are not putting forth the same amount of effort or passion towards your relationship… EVALUATE THE RED FUCKING FLAG. Please save yourself the time and heartache. This is something I wish I told myself. I’ve stayed in relationships that I knew were not going to go anywhere, and relationships that were toxic for my well-being. I’ve cared for and loved people who did not value or respect me as an individual. I’ve experienced unrequited love/effort. I’m going to tell you this now, you cannot convince a person to change for you, even if it’s for the better, a person must want to better themselves on their own for change to occur. There are many people out there who wait around with hopes that their partners or friends will change, but that often leads to disappointment. One of the most important things I’ve learned this year, is that, you cannot be upset with others for the situations you allow yourself to be in. If you put yourself in a situation that previously hurt you, and you choose to stay, it’s all on you. No one is forcing you to stay, take responsibility for your own choices, otherwise, you will never learn from them. 

[sugar-intraining]

How to make men happy?

Men don’t deserve happiness.

[sugar-intraining]

I love aging, and I think one of the worst lies patriarchy tells women is that aging makes us irrelevant and worthless, that aging is something to be ashamed of. As with everything in patriarchy this lie has a malicious intention, and it runs like a straight line through patriarchy’s stories of wicked witches and scary crones. Aging women, older women are stronger women, more independent women, women who’ve lost their insecurities and who do not live to please, and there’s no bigger threat to the system of male dominance and female subordination. Of course women need to be taught to worship youth and of course older women need to be hidden away under notions of them being irrelevant and pathetic or strange, because otherwise women would be much more difficult to control, and older women would take over the world. The strength women unfold within themselves when they get older is unyielding; it stands tall as a tree and has deep, deep roots. Men have much to loose in women realizing this. Women have everything to gain.

[sugar-intraining]

Hi! I'd like to see different ballet styles, productions and footage, and was wondering if you had links to some of them! Thank you so much.

French Ballet

Pierre Lacotte Reconstructions

La Sylphide 1972 | 2004

Paquita

Coppelia

Giselle

Rudolf Nureyev

Swan Lake

Sleeping Beauty 2005 |2013

Bayadere

Nutcracker 1989 | 2012

Raymonda

Don Quixote 2002 | 2012 (I, II)

Romeo and Juliet

Cinderella

Bournonville Ballet

La Sylphide: Danish Ballet 

Etudes 1969 (II) | 2005

Flower Festival in Genzano Danish Ballet | POB | Mariinksy | Royal Ballet

Napoli

The Kermesse in Bruges

A Folk Tale

The Bournonville School

Russian Ballet

Marius Petipa revivals (originally premiered/staged at the Paris Opera)

> originally by Jules Perrot

La Esmeralda Mariinksy 1982 - 2012

Giselle Bolshoi: 1956 - 1975 | ABT 1969 - 1977 | La Scala | Mariinsky | ENB

> originally by Arthur Saint-Léon

Coppelia Bolshoi (Burlaka/Ratmansky Reconstruction)

> originally by Joseph Mazilier

Le Corsaire Bolshoi (Burlaka/Ratmansky Reconstruction) | Mariinsky

Marius Petipa

La Bayadere  Mariinksy: 1964 - 1979 - 2014 | Bolshoi (Act III)

Don Quixote Bolshoi (I, II, III, IV) (2011) | Mariinsky | Mikhailovsky | ABT

Swan Lake: Bolshoi 1957 - 1983 - 2015 | Mariinsky 1986 - 2007 | Wiener Staatsoper

Sleeping Beauty Mariinsky 1969 | Bolshoi | ROH

The Nutcracker Mariinsky | Bolshoi

Raymonda Mariinsky | Bolshoi | La Scala (Vikharev Reconstruction)

La Fille du Pharaon (Lacotte Reconstruction)

Soviet Ballets

Romeo and Juliet Mariinsky (Lavrovsky) 1955 - 2013 | Bolshoi (Grigorovich) 1979 -  2013

Cinderella

Flames of Paris

Laurencia

Hamlet

Anyuta

Gayane (Armenia) Bolshoi 1980 | Mariinsky 2014

Shurale

Yuri Grigorovich

The Legend of Love

Spartacus 1970 |1977 | 2008

Ivan the Terrible 1975 | 1977 | 2015

The Stone Flower

English Ballet

Frederick Ashton

Sylvia

La Fille Mal Gardee

Swan Lake

Cinderella

The Dream ROH | ABT

La Valse

Kenneth MacMillan

Manon Danish Ballet | Royal Ballet

Romeo and Juliet

Mayerling

Anastasia

Balanchine - American Ballet

Symphony in C: NYCB | POB 

Jewels: NYCB (Emeralds Diamonds)  | Mariinsky

Stravinsky Violin Concerto

Serenade

Agon

Apollo 1960 |1968 | 1979

Theme and Variations: NYCB

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: NYCB | POB

Vienna Waltzes

Tchaikovsky Pas de Deux NYCB | Royal Ballet

Ballets Russes

Les Sylphides: Bolshoi | ABT | Kirov | Royal Ballet

Scheherezade

L’Apres midi d’une faune

The Firebird: Mariinsky | Bonus

Le Spectre de la Rose: POB

Petroushka: 1976 | 1992 | 2011

Rite of Spring: Joffrey Ballet | Mariinsky

El Sombrero de Tres Picos

Le Train Bleu

Parade

Les Noces: Royal Ballet | Mariinsky

The Prodigal Son

Documentaries

The Romantic Era

Giselle: A Documentary

Diaghilev

Classical Ballet

Agrippina Vaganova: The Great and Terrible

Ballerina: A Documentary in Four Parts

Tout prés des étoiles

The King Who Invented Dance

The Art of Baroque Dance

The Rite of Spring

The Children of Theatre Street

American Masters: Balanchine

Ballet Heroes

Les Enfants de la Danse

Historic Footage

The Art of Russian Ballet (Dudinskaya/Maximova)

Kirov Ballet Gala 1981

First Moscow International Ballet Competition, 1969

Galina Mezentseva

Irina Kolpakova

Ekaterina Maximova/Vladimir Vasiliev

Bolshoi Ballet, 1967

Maya Plisetskaya Dances, 1964

Yvette Chauviré

Anna Pavlova I | II | III | IV | V

Tamara Karsavina I | II | III | IV

[sugar-intraining]

Can you recommend deisgner heels that look sexy? I know everyone says Loubs, but do you recommend any other brand? Something classy but sexy

Jimmy Choo’s are very comfortable.

Aquazzura’s are sexy as fuck but my toes feel like they fell off.

Gucci and Louis Vuitton heels are some of my most comfortable, so I would recommend.

I rarely ever wear my Louboutins, they’re trophies to me. I like to look at them.

[sugar-intraining]

My drunk ass in 6 inch heels on the pole when I really shouldn’t be

[sugar-intraining]

Stocks ladies, stocks.

First, buying stocks can be risky. Money growth is not guaranteed. Trends are only trends and although we can make educated predictions, we can not tell for sure what is going to happen, especially in this financial climate. 

Second, I am in no way an expert and these are just my personal opinions. NOW. Here’s a few points about stocks.  

1. If you don’t have the time to research what stocks you want to invest in right now, consider copy trading. There are websites like eToro which allow you to copy trades (for lack of better words) from investors who do have the time to do the research. 

2. Stocks I like right now: DIS, INTC, OKTA, MSFT, FB, NFLX, PINS, GOOG, SPLK. Also, look into london banks, biotech/pharmaceutical companies (QDEL) and consumer goods right now. 

3. Steer clear of: energy, hotels, cruise lines, and airlines.

4. Watch CNBC. Even if you don’t watch it, put it on in the background. Watch politics. (Fox) Understand what is going on in the world. Listen to what experts are saying. Read Forbes. 

5. Do not, DO NOT invest money you can’t afford to lose. Things happen every hour. The world is uncertain right now. The market is fragile right now. 

6. Start small. Set aside $100, buy a few stocks and see how you do until you get your footing. Decide how much you’re willing to lose, and when you want to cut your losses and cash out. What I like to do once I’ve done this is take my initial investment out ($100) in this case, and leave whatever I’ve earned in the stocks to make more money. This way, if they plummet, at least I’ve broke even.

7. Invest in what you know. Lululemon, Ulta, Starbucks. Invest in things you have an interest in and don’t mind keeping up with news wise.

7.5 (update) This is a long term investment. It’s going to take time for the market to get back to where it was before this. Avoid the misconception that you’re going to put $100 and cash out for $1000 in a week. There are highs and lows. Right now we’re in a low. And it’s going to be low for awhile.

8. Then, buy yourself a Cartier Love Bracelet and remind your sugar daddies/clients that you don’t need them, you just want them (their $$$ 🤑😉)

[sugar-intraining]

what are some unconventional places one can freestyle?

Darling if you are a real whore your whole existence is a freestyle

[sugar-intraining]

[sugar-intraining]

[sugar-intraining]

God I hate clicking a girl's profile on reddit and seeing

"🚫 NO PAY WALL ❌ Naughty DMs 24/7 😈 FREE video for subscribing 💦 DICK rating available 🍆 1000+ pics only $3 🍑🔞"

blasted across 14 different subreddits and their bios say their in the top 1%, like how did this spam get you anywhere?

I don't recommend using emojis like this in your of marketing:

🔞➡️🚫💦

Lol they kind of cheapen your brand, and I can't explain how. In general, use emojis spraingly and subtley. The overuse of emojis make your content look like spam

[sugar-intraining]

Luxury

One message I think gets lost is the quest for luxury has an ultimate goal that is counter to today’s culture of “success.” Specifically, our quest for luxury has the end goal of an easy life. Our worries are minimal, we spend out days pursuing our passions or nothing at all, and we specifically don’t work hard. 

The problem is we equate success with working hard. Therefore, working hard is admirable and not working is an embarrassment. Hard work becomes a part of the average person’s identity. “The Grind” is a valuable and respectable concept - it would be an embarrassment to be considered lazy or not working. 

It’s the biggest sham that is spoon-fed to the proletariate class. Corporations WANT a dynamic where everyone wants to work hard. The wealthy love the poor mentality that they must constantly be working hard and doing multiple jobs with monetized hobbies because it justifies lower wages for ~ONE~ singular job - you should have multiple jobs and be “on the grind,” right? I digress. 

Ultimately luxury is doing nothing. I don’t really want to work that hard on things I am passionless about. I don’t want my success to be hinged on regular, hard work. I want to enjoy my luxury. Yes, I’m ~working~ towards ultimate freedom, but with my freedom comes no work.

Just remember to take your head out of the “grind” culture and remember your upcoming and true luxury can and should be detached from hard work.

[sugar-intraining]

When I go out, men will stare at me or smile from afar.. even cat call me... but never actually approach me. I smile at the guys who smile @ me, after I size them up n down.... my mom used to tell me that men are afraid to approach someone so pretty... But now I’m starting to think that I’m not pretty and maybe she was lying. :( I smile at guys and say hello.... :(

You are beautiful! Whether a man approaches you or not does not determine your attractiveness.

I rarely get approached when I’m dressed up and in heels but men approach me a lot more frequently when I’m in Lululemon/workout clothing. I’ve asked around for opinions and people/men have told me that women are more approachable when they’re not dressed to the nines.