sundaysremedy - Tumblr blog

[sundaysremedy]

“So the modern that romantic love is a woman’s highest calling, that she is somehow only half a person without it, that if she questions it she is going against all human history, does not stand up to scrutiny. It is not an imperative carved in stone; it is a human idea, and humans are frail and suggestible, and sometimes get the wrong end of the stick”

-Backwards in High Heels-

Lebih dari seabad yang lalu R.A Kartini memulai perjuangannya dari satu kekhawatiran, mengapa perempuan jawa begitu pasrah dan tunduk serta rela mengorbankan segalanya demi menanti suatu hari ada seorang pria yang mau melamarnya; dan ketika si pria datang melamar, kekhawatiran wanita dan keluarganya luntur, tergantikan dengan senyuman cerah, si anak gadis telah dilamar, hidupnya akan senang dan baik - baik saja.

Tidak jauh kan dengan kondisi saat ini? Coba bayangkan dari setiap kesempatan bersekolah tinggi yang bisa diraih anak anak gadis, dari setiap pilihan berkarir yang dengan mudah mereka jalani; masih saja mental si anak gadis jatuh kalau ada tetangga yang menyinggung, sudah nikah atau belum nduk? Gini loh cah ayu dari sekian banyak yang bisa dan sudah kalian peroleh, kanapa semua itu tidak berarti apa apa jika kamu belum menikah?

Kita sama sama tahu, akar deritamu ini bersumber dari bisikan tetangga yang serius, kapan sih kamu nikahnya? Dan ada kalanya kamu jengkel, kenapa sih saya harus menikah? Lalu petinggi dan tetua di desa mu itu datang sambil berkata “menikah adalah kodrat dari setiap manusia yang memang ditakdirkan berpasangan, dan tugas manusia adalah meneruskan generasi selanjutnya, membentuk generasi yang lebih baik.” Iya juga pikirmu; kalau gini ayo deh nikah, biar bisa punya anak sholeh dan sholehah!

Tapi ya apa iya. Apa bener tugas dari setiap orang di bumi ini identik seragam : punya keturunan yang excellence van great? Tapi bagaimana dengan semangatmu yang katanya bisa merubah dunia? Bagaimana dengan menjalani peran yang kamu idamkan, yang memang hanya ditugaskan untuk kamu dan hanya kamu. What if you are the one who should make a difference right in your life time? Begini loh Bung Karno dan founding fathers itu tidak menunggu sampai anak beliau lahir dan besar lalu bilang kepadanya “nak kepadamu bangsa ini aku titipkan supaya merdeka”; kalau begitu ceritanya lagu kemerdekaan tidak lagi tujuh belas agustus tahun empat lima; maybe someday, pada waktunya ada generasi penerus yang siap.

Do you see my point here? Menikah ataupun tidak, tidak akan mengurangi nilai hidup yang kamu dijalani. Menikah atau tidak, tidak akan menjadi penghalang bagimu untuk menjadi insan yang baiknya extraordinary. Menikah atau tidak, don’t let it define what happiness means for you dearest.

xoxo

[sundaysremedy]

Unexpected.

It all started with unexpected meeting. Well who knew i'll be having someone like you in this very un simple life of mine. I never wanted it. But God did let us met. So of course I'm grateful for everything God was given.

Attached.

Slowly but sure we became close didn’t we? You and I in this very beautiful memories. Oh honey who could’ve resisted you anyway? You were perfect. All i ever wanted. I had always imagined my life with you. I thought you did the same.

Misunderstood.

I always want to keep peace with you, but i don’t know why you can’t handle my honest words? Why we fought over small things, those things i don’t even understand up until now.

Missed.

So our relationship was not as kind as i imagined. I demanded you more, but you couldn’t give even your presence for me. So there i was trying to find you in every person i met in the way. And pushing them away, saying “you’re not someone i’m looking for”

Pushed away.

I was mad. Crazily mad because i feel unwanted by you. Deeply mad at myself why i couldn’t figure it out between us. I was desperate to find why can’t we be together?

Pulled back.

I couldn’t stay mad at you for a long time. I cant let you go at all. I tried to let go little by little things that made me mad of you. I did push you away but in the end i pull back. Because honey, how can i let you go when i’m in love with you so hard?

Silently cried.

But you still the old you. Still don’t understand even though i tried to explain so hard. Do you know how many times i cried out loud? I even lost my count.  I became sad on who we are.

Realized.

One day your words woke me up from this nightmare. “I don'need us close” you said. “Oh” i said in silent. I was wrong all the time. I thought you need me at least, but you live just fine without me. Dang! I got bitten by the reality of yours.

Bid farewell

“I guess it’s time” i told my self those words hundred times but never meant it. But this time is different. There’s nothing left in us, you made it clear. And all i do is respecting you. I’m here to say my farewell. I might not that kind friend you were expecting. But trust me, i gave all i had, and nothing left. In the end I’ve tried and I’ve cared so much. And it is enough.

Let’s continue.

Honey, life won’t stop when you break a heart or two! Whatever hard things happen in the past, it stays in the past. I, we couldn’t change it or rewind. The best for us is to keep filling our life with new stories, new friends. I haven’t decided on what should i do after you gone. But one thing i’m sure of, i should keep going. And so do you.

[sundaysremedy]

Cherry Blossoms Friend

“...And I think to myself, what a wonderful spring!”

Making friends as an adult is a tricky thing. I used to hinder myself from knowing a stranger, just because I thought I have enough (friends). But then it changed, one to many things I change how i react to strangers. And I give out myself very first chance and led to many chances on knowing people. That was when I met Jeong Mi. 

We met at our single vacation runaway at Jogja that March. You were so confused about what clothes you should wear for hiking Merapi Mt. You looked excited as well as careful on preparing your very first hike. As I thought inside my head “what a very funny person, she confused so much.”

The next day I saw you, you’ve done your hike, and by meant done is done. “I’ll never do it again” you said. I chuckled and whispered slowly “I wouldn’t have done that” and we spent the next minutes with sighs “how tiring, how tiring.” The tiresome afternoon brought us to many conversations, about vacation, about home, and I didn’t know why but we also talked about boys. You told me that i shouldn’t wait too long to get married, it’s funny since i don’t have any one right now that can ask me to marry with. It’s really funny.

Too bad we have to separate a while after. I went back to Jakarta that night while you still stay to spend your day in Jogja. I regret one thing that night, I forgot to take picture with you. But I’m glad we changed number and send messages and exchange photos (up until today). You truly are a friend in spring dear! You made me think about beautiful things, joyful holiday. I hope one day I can visit you at Japan, and together will be sightseeing how this cherry blossoms tree blooming in the spring just like our stories.

xoxo

ps. all images attached are courtesy of Jeong Mi

[sundaysremedy]

Greetings dearest!

I’ve been longing to make a blog out of my life, to tell you stories I’ve been made this far. To tell you voices I’ve been hold inside. Worry not, this blog is not about me trying to tell people wrong doings in my life (or if i slip out i might just tell you that)  

Well, take a seat, enjoy a cup of tea in this lazy Sunday afternoon. And prepare your ears to hear this sweet delightful Sunday’s remedies 

xoxo