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sunflowersteves ยท 16 hours
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Jeremy Allen White as Carmen โ€œCarmyโ€ Berzatto
The Bear Ep.2 | Dir. Christopher Storer
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sunflowersteves ยท 19 hours
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nothing in the world belongs to me |carmen berzatto x reader|
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prompt: still new in your relationship, you show up to the bear for dinner unexpectedly, surprising carmen and the others.
based off this prompt from the other day :)
contains: fluff lol. really, it's just fluff. established-ish relationship (the others don't know). carmen being a little nervous and possessive but mainly cute <3 language.
โ€œAlright, listen up,โ€ Richie stood next to Sydney, flicking through the piles of tickets that were ringing through by the second. It was normal now, an expected task in their routine. โ€œWe need to walk the focaccia to table seven, please.โ€ย 
โ€œYes, Chef!โ€ A chorus of nearly robotic voices rose from the sizzling hiss of the lamb searing in Carmenโ€™s pan, lifting the spatula to tip the meat over, before giving it back to the chef on the line.ย 
โ€œAnd for table nine, weโ€™ve got a shellfish allergy, alright? So letโ€™s triple check the cross contamination on that. T, can you handle that one?โ€ Richie moved from his leather bound book of notes back to the ticket.ย 
โ€œYes, Chef!โ€ Tina chimed, pulling a freshly washed pan, filling it with the veal stock.ย 
โ€œTable nine, is that- thatโ€™s the senator?โ€ Carmen turned to Richie, tasting the roux bubbling on Victoriaโ€™s station, giving her a curt nod of approval.ย 
โ€œNo, thatโ€™s table eleven.โ€ Richie hummed, looking back at his notebook. โ€œNine, isโ€ฆ a birthday. Booked online.โ€ Carmen had already begun to drone him out, mind racing with a million other things as Richie listed the guests name. Until he got to one.ย 
The name Carmen was sure he was hallucinating. The name no one knew- How would they know? How could they possibly know your name?ย 
You and Carmen had been seeing each other for a little while. A few weeks that were slowly turning into months. A casual thing that was slowly turning more serious. Dates and meetups are becoming more frequent. Youโ€™d even invited him over to your place a few times, heโ€™d spent the night last week.ย 
Still, Carmen hadnโ€™t managed to tell anyone. Selfishly, he liked that you were all his for now. Privacy was not guaranteed in the Berzatto house, in Carmenโ€™s life still. He knew they meant well, they always did- he knew it wasnโ€™t purposeful, the intrusion that almost always led to a demise. Carmen wasnโ€™t ready for it, not yet, he still wanted you all to himself.ย 
โ€œCarmen?โ€ Sydneyโ€™s voice pulled him out of his panicked trance. โ€œChef, are you- are you good?โ€ Her voice lilted with that familiar suspicious quip, the one always accompanied with her lifted brows.ย 
โ€œWhat?โ€ Carmen blinked, hands buzzing, heart thumping. He could see the window, Richieโ€™s frame blocking most of it. โ€œSorry, yeah- yeah, Iโ€™m good, Chef.โ€ย 
Sydney watched him carefully, a slow nod before she continued calling out orders. Carmen could feel Richieโ€™s eyes on him, narrowed with curiosity. Carmen tried to be nonchalant, crossing the kitchen back towards Tina, his eyes cutting carefully, looking out the window.ย 
There you were.ย 
Sitting pretty at the middle table, surrounded by friends, some Carmen recognized from your Instagram. Heโ€™d actually logged in to the app, looked you up after the first date, consumed every photo of yours in the dark of his room. Cheeks burning with excited heat, stomach fluttering in a way he hadnโ€™t felt since junior high.ย 
โ€œAlright, walk five salads to nine.โ€ Sydney called out. โ€œWhereโ€™s our runners? God, Richie, can you run-โ€ย 
โ€œ-I got it.โ€ Carmen called, the urgency in his tone making Tina jump behind him. Carmen took the tray before Gary could, his hands shaking as he lifted it.ย 
โ€œCousin, I can get it.โ€ Richie frowned.ย 
โ€œNo, I-I got it.โ€ Carmen nodded, swallowing down his fluttering nerves. His eyes cut to your table through the window, heart skipping when he saw you. โ€œI got it. Iโ€™ll be- Iโ€™ll just be a second.โ€ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t- I canโ€™t even handle that one right now.โ€ Sydney sighed in exasperation. โ€œAlright, Chefs. Letโ€™s get back on track.โ€ She announced, shaking her head. Richie frowned, pulling out his phone.ย 
Sugarโ€™s cell buzzed against the hostess stand, excusing herself to check it.ย 
From: Richieย 
โ€˜Look at table nine.โ€™ย 
Sugar huffed.ย 
To: Richieย 
โ€˜Why? Is there something wrong?โ€™ย 
She stepped back, casually turning to scan the room, eyes landing on the table. A small group of girls, younger, and amongst them- Carmen?ย 
To: Richieย 
โ€˜Is something wrong with the food? Do I need to comp it?โ€™ย 
From: Richieย 
โ€˜No. Cousin wanted to go out there.โ€™ย 
Sugar frowned, angling her body behind the large plant near the front as casually as she could. She watched through the leaves as Carmen passed out the salads, each girl grinning widely, but their eyes always cut to one on the end.ย 
Carmen saved your salad for last, hoping the lowlights of the restaurant would hide his boyish blush, setting the bowl in front of you carefully. โ€œHey,โ€ย 
โ€œHi,โ€ You smiled sheepishly, looking to meet his gaze. โ€œEverything looks so good.โ€ย 
โ€œYeah? Thanks.โ€ Carmen nodded. โ€œI-I didnโ€™t know you were cominโ€™ tonight.โ€ย 
โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€ You cringed softly, embarrassed heat flooding through your veins. You knew better, knew you shouldnโ€™t have done this- showed up at his restaurant unannounced.ย 
โ€œI, uh, itโ€™s my friendโ€™s birthday.โ€ You nodded towards Alicia at the end of the table. โ€œAnd I was telling them about that pasta you made me, and they really wanted to come try it.โ€ Your nerves bubbled, rambling in nervous peals that seemed to pour out before you could stop them.ย ย 
โ€œYeah, no, thatโ€™s really nice. Thank you.โ€ Carmen nodded, giving a half smile to your friends, hoping they didnโ€™t see the way he wiped his clammy hands on his apron. โ€œWhy didnโ€™t- Why didnโ€™t you just call me? Tell me you were cominโ€™ in.โ€ย 
โ€œI didnโ€™t want to bother you.โ€ You muttered softly. โ€œI honestly didnโ€™t think youโ€™d even see us here, I swear. I didnโ€™t mean to bother you or anything-โ€ย 
โ€œ-Youโ€™re not bothering me.โ€ Carmenโ€™s voice dropped to a coo, accompanied with a soft smile that had your head spinning. โ€œNever a bother, but, uh, next time? Bother me, ok? Wanna make sure you get the best seat in the house.โ€ย 
Your cheeks flushed with heat, your friends excited giggles only intensifying the rushing heat blanketing over your body. Carmenโ€™s own cheeks heated, tongue rolling on the inside of his cheek to hide his grin.ย 
โ€œAlright?โ€ Carmen added, and in a complete act of shocking boldness, his hand squeezed your shoulder affectionately. A small gesture on the outside, but for Carmen, it was huge.ย 
โ€œAlright.โ€ You grinned, leaning into his touch, your hands sliding over his.ย 
โ€œHowโ€™s everything so far?โ€ Carmen turned to the table, nodding at the excited gushes of compliments, not missing the way your friends cut their eyes to you with animated glee.ย 
โ€œJust let me know if you need anything, ok?โ€ Carmen turned to you.
โ€œI will.โ€ You nodded, starry eyed with love sick affection.ย 
โ€œGood. Iโ€™ll see you before you leave, alright?โ€ Carmen muttered, ducking down towards you. His lips brushed over your cheek, your perfume clouding his senses. โ€œYouโ€™re not botherinโ€™ me. โ€˜M glad youโ€™re here.โ€ย 
Your cheek pressed to his, a gentle, affectionate rub before Carmen parted. Both of your features painted with shy delight.ย 
Carmen could feel everyoneโ€™s eyes, through flickering gazes and lifted brows. Sydneyโ€™s gaze lingering over him skeptically, still counting tickets. Fakโ€™s wide grin from the corner, loading trays to take out.ย 
โ€œHey, uh, Marcus.โ€ Carmen ignored Richieโ€™s raised brows, a teasing, questioning remark on the tip of his tongue.ย 
โ€œYes, Chef?โ€ Marcus muttered, looking up from the cannolis he was garnishing.ย 
โ€œTable nine has a birthday. I was thinkinโ€™ maybe the chocolate ganache, punch it with the little circle to make it look like a cake. Add a candle?โ€ Carmen muttered, hand rubbing across his face.ย 
โ€œYeah, Chef, I can do that.โ€ Marcus nodded.ย 
โ€œThank you.โ€ Carmen nodded. โ€œAnd Chef? Let me know when itโ€™s ready before you walk it.โ€ย 
Marcus frowned. โ€œNo, itโ€™s not- I just wanna walk it, ok?โ€ Carmen shook his head.ย 
โ€œAlright.โ€ Marcus nodded slowly. โ€œHeard, Chef.โ€ย 
Richie smirked, leaning against the stainless steel table. โ€œSo,โ€ Richie hummed. โ€œThere a complaint or somethinโ€™? Need me to go talk to โ€˜em-โ€ย 
โ€œ-No,โ€ Carmen snapped, the possessiveness in his tone startling the both of them. โ€œSorry, itโ€™s- No, I-I donโ€™t need you to do that, Chef. Everythingโ€™s good.โ€ย 
Richie nodded slowly, passing the dishes to Gary with a nod. โ€œYou gonna tell me what that was about?โ€ย 
โ€œNo, Chef.โ€ Carmen clipped, an edge to his tone that was teetering on annoyed. โ€œBut, uh, thereโ€™s not gonna be a check on table nine.โ€ย 
โ€œWhat?โ€ Richie frowned. โ€œDid you mess somethinโ€™ up? Seriously, Cousin, if something's wrong itโ€™s my job to know-โ€ย 
โ€œ-No, itโ€™s not-.โ€ Carmen huffed, eyes pinching closed, running a hand over his face in frustration. โ€œLook, thatโ€™sโ€ฆ The girl on the end? I-Iโ€™ve been kinda seeinโ€™ her, ya know?โ€ He muttered.ย 
Richie gawked, blinking in disbelief. โ€œNo shit.โ€ He grinned. โ€œNo shit? You-Youโ€™re serious?โ€ He turned to look out the window.ย 
โ€œDonโ€™t fuckinโ€™ look.โ€ Carmen hissed. โ€œLook, it-itโ€™s not a big deal, alright? Just donโ€™t-donโ€™t say anything o-or do anything.โ€ย 
Richie swallowed back a teasing remark, a reactive reaction from years of being with Mikey. How the two of them used to tease Carmen endlessly, until they were fighting on the front lawn, Mikey howling with laughter while Carmen was red faced with mortified anger.ย 
This time, Richie held back. He wasnโ€™t sure why, call it divine intervention, a gut feeling maybe, but it felt different this time.ย 
โ€œAlright.โ€ Richie nodded slowly. โ€œNo ticket for nine. Heard.โ€ย 
Carmenโ€™s foot tapped anxiously. โ€œI mean, right? Th-Thatโ€™s what I should do right?โ€ Carmen looked over his shoulder out the window. โ€œThat would be shitty to give her a check? Be a complete jagoff move to charge her?โ€ย 
โ€œYeah,โ€ Richie scoffed lightly. โ€œJagoff of the fuckinโ€™ year. Makinโ€™ your girl pay to come to your place.โ€ย 
Carmenโ€™s heart swelled at the term- your girl. His girl. You were his girl.ย 
โ€œWalk four Pappardelle to nine. Walk one Pappardelle vegetarian style to nine.โ€ Sydney called.ย 
Carmen dipped the spoon in the glaze, garnishing the plate before sliding it towards Sydney. โ€œSo, you gonna take these out?โ€ He muttered.ย 
โ€œNo,โ€ Carmen huffed. โ€œGonna wait until the cake.โ€ย 
โ€œYeah, good idea, Cousin.โ€ Richie nodded with a proud smile. โ€œThat when youโ€™re gonna tell them no check tonight?โ€ย 
โ€œNo,โ€ Carmen shook his head. โ€œI donโ€™t- It would feel weird cominโ€™ from me.โ€ He looked up at Richie. โ€œI was gonna let you do it.โ€ย 
โ€œYeah, I can handle that.โ€ Richie smirked. โ€œAnd I wonโ€™t say anything, Cousin.โ€ He stopped Carmen before he could say it. โ€œI got you, Cousin. I wonโ€™t fuck it up, alright?โ€ย 
Carmen nodded slowly, a strangled thank you on the tip of his tongue. The door swung open behind Richie, and for a second, Carmen caught a glimpse of you. Smiling and laughing, leaned in over the table, no doubt giggling with your friends about him. Carmenโ€™s heart squeezed, but this time, without fear. No, there was no dooming fear that you were mocking him, making fun of him. This time, he felt the content rush of adrenaline filled love. A change in his routine, yes. Unexpected, sure, but he was glad for it. Glad that you were there- here, with him.
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sunflowersteves ยท 4 days
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mark my words, Iโ€™m showing up to yโ€™allโ€™s house and busting the door down for not voting for badlands
note: to my top gun girlies, i have a few fics i'm working on plotting/finishing. so which one would you want the most? also i'm not adding my mickey fic 'love on the brain' cause that's coming first anyways.
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sunflowersteves ยท 5 days
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MONKEY MAN 2024 | dir. Dev Patel
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sunflowersteves ยท 5 days
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forever in love
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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Monkey Man (2024) dir. Dev Patel
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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Dev Patel rlly said RAHHH BISEXUAL LIGHTING QUEER ARMY DIRECT ACTION SEX WORKERS SHOULD KILL THOSE THAT ABUSE THEM RAHHHHH WOMEN RAH MYTHOLOGY RAHH PUPPY INTERLUDE
And I live by that.
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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I'M GONNA SAY IT
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We should've gotten reluctant leader Din Djarin in The Mandalorian season 3
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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idk what is so hot about this photo but itโ€™s sending me into orbit rn
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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๐’๐ญ๐จ๐ฅ๐ž๐ง ๐Œ๐จ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ
๐๐ฎ๐œ๐ค๐ฒ ๐๐š๐ซ๐ง๐ž๐ฌ ๐ฑ ๐‘๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ/๐ฌ. ๐’๐ญ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค๐ฒ ๐ฑ ๐‘๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ/๐ฌ
๐’๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐š๐ซ๐ฒ: ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐ ๐ ๐จ ๐š๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐š ๐ฅ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐ž๐ž๐ค๐ž๐ง๐, ๐ก๐จ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐š๐ฑ ๐›๐ž๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ž ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฒ. ๐‹๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ž ๐๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐›๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ก๐จ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ข๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐š๐ฆ๐ž ๐ฅ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐žโ€ฆ
๐–๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐‚๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ: ๐Ÿ•๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ
๐–๐š๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ: ๐‡๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐ฏ๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐Ÿ๐ข๐œ. ๐๐จ๐ง๐๐š๐ ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐œ๐š๐›๐ฅ๐ž ๐ญ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ. ๐“๐ก๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ค๐ข๐๐ง๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐›๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฉ๐ก๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ฆ. ๐ƒ๐ฎ๐› ๐œ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ญ ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐›๐จ๐ญ๐ก ๐›๐š๐ฌ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐›๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ž๐ง๐. ๐”๐ง๐๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ž๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ฅ (๐ฆ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ ๐ซ๐ž๐œ๐ž๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ), ๐ฉ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฏ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฑ, ๐›๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐Ÿ ๐š๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐š๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐๐ฎ๐œ๐ค๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐š ๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ž๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ญ. ๐ˆ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ ๐›๐ข๐ฌ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ/๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐’๐ญ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค๐ฒ. ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ–+ ๐Ž๐๐‹๐˜ ๐๐‹๐„๐€๐’๐„ ๐€๐๐ƒ ๐…๐”๐‚๐Š๐ˆ๐๐† ๐“๐‡๐€๐๐Š ๐˜๐Ž๐”!
๐€/๐: ๐ˆ ๐ก๐š๐ ๐ญ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐๐ž๐š ๐ฅ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ž๐ค ๐š๐ง๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ๐œ ๐ˆ ๐ก๐š๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ž ๐ข๐ญ. ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ข๐ง๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐ž๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ง๐จ๐ง ๐œ๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ญ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ง ๐š ๐๐ข๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง. ๐“๐ž๐œ๐ก๐ง๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐›๐จ๐ญ๐ก ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ฆ๐š๐ฅ๐ž ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž '๐ซ๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ', ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ˆ ๐š๐ฆ ๐ก๐จ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐š๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐’๐ญ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ '๐ซ๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ' ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐›๐ž ๐ฌ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  >:๐ƒ
๐“๐ก๐š๐ง๐ค ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ @navybrat817 ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ข๐๐ž๐š ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐š๐ ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ž ๐ข๐ญ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ค ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ @galatially ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐š๐ง๐ ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ ๐š๐ซ๐›๐š๐ ๐ž!
๐“๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ข๐ž๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐š๐ง๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐๐š๐ญ๐ž๐ฌ, ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ @suzs-fic-library ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง ๐จ๐ง ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ.
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It was a last minute thing, it wasnโ€™t supposed to have happened, but nothing had gone right for you recently so when a work colleague offered you a chance to stay at her family's cottage on Tupper Lake, of course you had said yes.ย 
โ€œNo one is using it right now, my parents are away, and I donโ€™t want to go there this year, itโ€™s boring. Why donโ€™t you go? Itโ€™ll be fun. Iโ€™ll let the property manager know youโ€™re coming.โ€
Life sucked, you hated your job, and your boyfriend had broken up with you two weeks ago by text. A weekend away with your best friend sounded like the perfect way to reset before you took on the next challenge the following week. Your best friend, Daisy (not her real name but she hated her real name and never used it) was more than up for an adventure so you packed your bags and left as soon as possible. The drive to Tupper Lake was over five hours, it went quickly with you driving and your friend in the passenger seat,ย 
โ€œI think Iโ€™m going to quit my job.โ€
โ€œOh yeah? And how are you going to pay bills without the crappy job you have?โ€ Your friend grinned at you, and you just smiled back serenely. The day was too beautiful to worry too much over the specifics,ย 
โ€œYou never know what could happen, Daisy. Maybe Iโ€™ll meet the man of my dreams whilst weโ€™re here. Iโ€™m just fed up with dealing with creepy bosses, crappy men, and never feeling like Iโ€™m in control. This weekend away with you is going to change everything for me, I can feel it.โ€
You were being stupidly optimistic, but thankfully Daisy indulged you, closing her eyes in the sunlight like a cat,ย 
โ€œYou know Iโ€™ve been looking for good luck since forever, so send it my way when you find it, yeah?โ€
You take her hand over the console. It would be a good weekend no matter what, and you could spend it with her, there was nothing better. Everything else could wait.
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Bucky bought the piece of shit boat from a nice looking guy who clearly was too bored to pay attention to the fake ID he was given, which didnโ€™t bother him in the least. The seller barely looked up from his phone as he took his money, gave him a form to fill out, and handed him the keys,
โ€œEnjoy the ride, man.โ€
โ€œWill do, have a good weekend.โ€
โ€œSure. Whatever.โ€
Bucky smirked to himself as he left, spinning the keys around his index finger idly. Usually he wouldnโ€™t bother buying something outright, but the place that he would usually rent a boat from had upgraded its security system, and he didnโ€™t want his face on a camera. Tupper Lake had been good to him the last few years, he didnโ€™t want to have to leave the nest of his golden goose any time soon, and that meant staying off the radar every time he and Steve were in town. Currently his best friend was sourcing them a new truck, probably seducing a pretty sales lady into giving him a massive discount.
Bucky hooked up the boat to his truck - sheโ€™ll be going to the scrap yard in two days time, but she was doing him proud for now, and drove out into the street and headed for the lake, whistling as he did so. It was a beautiful day to take a boat out onto the lake for sure, a day like today made him grateful for his freedom, something he never wanted to take for granted again.ย 
Thatโ€™s why he was so careful.
The sun was low on the horizon by the time Bucky was making his way over the water, the motor was louder than he would like but better to find out now than tomorrow night, thatโ€™s why he did these things early, after all. When he got to the point he liked, Bucky stopped the engine, stuck on his cap and set up the fishing line he had. Not that he gave a crap about whatever little things bit at the line, that wasnโ€™t the catch he was hoping to hook. Bucky smiled as he leant back in the boat and glanced over at the massive home on his right, he then took his binoculars and gazed casually over the lake, making โ€˜notesโ€™ in his notepad about the birds that he was seeing flying overhead and nesting on the banks.
Bucky genuinely enjoyed bird watching, it was why he was the one to do the lake reconnaissance. He could better play the part of an idle fisherman who liked the wildlife than Steve who couldnโ€™t give a shit about that stuff.
It wasnโ€™t really the fish or the birds that he cared about though.
โ€œSteve?โ€ Bucky put the call on speaker and put down the binoculars, letting his face drift upwards to feel the last of the sun's heat, โ€œYeah the intel was good. The house is empty.โ€
โ€œIs it as stacked as the woman at the property maintenance company told us?โ€
โ€œOh yeah. Everything that I can see just in the dining room alone is worth a fortune.โ€ย 
Steve laughed at that, โ€œWhat is it with these rich assholes? I mean, Iโ€™m grateful, but man are they stupid.โ€
โ€œYeah well, theyโ€™re insured, what do they care?โ€ Bucky took a swig from the bottle of water in his bag, โ€œItโ€™s empty, we can move forward tomorrow night. I think we need to focus on the art in this house, I can check the bedrooms when Iโ€™m in to see if thereโ€™s jewellery.โ€
โ€œSounds good. See you back at the cabin.โ€
Bucky hung up and started the boat back up. Jobs like this were easy. This massive โ€˜cabinโ€™ was isolated, had private entries on land and by water, and it had a security system a kid could learn how to hack. In forty eight hours, he and his best friend would be sitting on over a million bucks worth of goods, with a buyer already waiting on the shit. Theyโ€™d be sitting pretty in Indonesia by the end of the week for another year, before they needed to come back and do this again.
The damn motor on the boat was a problem though, Bucky vowed to have a look and get it quieter as he sped away, the motor was so loud it disguised the sounds of your car as it ambled up the drive just after sunset.
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You made it into town with just a few minutes to spare to grab the keys and security codes from the management company, they gave you the directions to the cabin and an emergency number to contact if there were any problems but you were told by the kindly and overly glamorous looking woman that as it was almost the weekend they werenโ€™t likely to come out until Monday,ย 
โ€œThings can be a little slower out here than in the city, girls!โ€
You look at Daisy who just stares at the woman blankly before smiling at the woman as brightly as you can manage,
โ€œOh thatโ€™s fine. Thanks for your help!โ€ย 
By the time youโ€™ve stopped at a grocery store and found the property the sun is just about set, you can hear a boat somewhere on the river nearby but you donโ€™t pay it too much attention. The visage of the house renders both you and your friend complain speechless for a minute.
โ€œI thought your friend said this place was a cottage?!โ€
You blink up at the three story mansion and shrug, โ€œI really donโ€™t want to think about what the โ€˜cottageโ€™ she grew up in looks like.โ€ You grab your travel bag and a bag of groceries, and head to the front door, taking out the information on the security system as you do,
โ€œApparently she hasnโ€™t been here in months so itโ€™s probably going to be barren in here, so- oh for fucks sake.โ€
The door opens to reveal a massive open entry hall, leading to rooms filled with pieces of art, expensive furniture, high end technology and a kitchen that a Michelin star kitchen would envy. You and your friend walk around the rooms in a daze, sighing in defeat when you realise the fridge and pantry are fully stocked, and then groaning when you get to your guest bedrooms.
Your entire shared apartment could fit in just one of these rooms, with ample storage space to spare.
Daisy started laughing, throwing her bag on her bed, โ€œFuck it, this is a good luck sign. In a few years weโ€™ll be that rich that we can buy this place from her family and come here every year!โ€
You smile, heading into your own family home sized bedroom with en-suite, leaving your friend to her whoops of glee. Really, she wasnโ€™t wrong, this was a great start to the week you had before your lives were going to change for the better. It had to be
You and Daisy spend the next day enjoying yourselves in the exquisite space youโ€™d been given, feeling very much like pampered princesses living in the lap of luxury. It was a beautiful summer's day, the majority of it was spent lounging outside in your swimsuits, a pitcher of margaritas nearby, just allowing yourselves to relax for a change. After everything, you really felt you deserved it.
Eventually you both went to bed, and you forget to set the alarm.
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The boat sliced through the pitch black waters quieter than a mouse, the hours Bucky had spent on the motor paid off brilliantly. It was just after midnight, Bucky would crack the security in a few minutes, Steve would pull up just after one and they would take two hours to bring out everything they wanted to the truck, Bucky would bring the smaller things like jewellery to the boat, and they would be gone at least an hour before the sun rose, no one the wiser and sitting on another years worth of fun money. Bucky was feeling good as he hooked the boat to the wooden platform and stalked up towards the house, his eyes firmly on the door, looking for the blinking light to indicate where the security alarm was hookedโ€ฆ
Bucky got to the back door and blinked. The alarm wasnโ€™t engaged at all.
He narrowed his eyes at the situation for a few moments, hitting the ear piece,ย 
โ€œSteve?โ€
โ€œProblem?โ€
โ€œNo, not exactly.โ€
Steve huffed in his ear, โ€œWhat then? Is there a dog the bitch didnโ€™t tell us about? A cat? A fucking pile of diamonds that you canโ€™t lift?โ€ Bucky rolled his eyes at his friends impatience,ย 
โ€œNo, asshole, the alarm isnโ€™t set.โ€ Steve paused, and Bucky waited. They could run the risk, rich people could get careless with their second (or third or fourth or fifth) homes sometimes. It wasnโ€™t like they needed the moneyโ€ฆ Was it worth risking jailโ€ฆ
โ€œYou know I hate budgeting, Buck, I want that payday. Open the door and see whatโ€™s up.โ€
โ€œOkay.โ€ย 
They didnโ€™t need the money, but having more was always better than having none after all.
Bucky knelt down, took his tools out, and then chuckled when he realised the door wasnโ€™t even locked,ย 
โ€œSteve, this canโ€™t be real. I donโ€™t even need to pick the lock.โ€
โ€œWell, then these fuckers deserve to get robbed blind. Iโ€™ll be there soon, Buck.โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll leave the main door open, unless, you know, itโ€™s already got flowers and a welcome mat for you.โ€
Steve laughed and hung up, and Bucky swung the door open, looking around the grand looking living space silently. The back door closed quietly behind him, and he took careful steps into the room, taking stock of the small items he would inevitably put into one of the four duffells he had with himโ€ฆ and thatโ€™s when he saw what heโ€™d missed as he was looking through the dark windows.
Glasses. Food waste. Some clothing.
People were here. Judging by the shoes and the fact there were only two glasses that he could see, Bucky assumed only two women.
Interesting.
The house was quiet so, hoping the two women were asleep, he went deadly silent and ghosted through the ground floor, the elusive surprise guests were nowhere he could find, so he started climbing the steps to the first floorโ€ฆ this floor was also empty, just one master bedroom, and a private library and gym. Bucky quickly scanned the bedroom, took note of where the storage was and where the safe was likely to be, and left, he would come back once the guests were secure. That just left the floor above which had the guest bedrooms.
Buckyโ€™s blood pumped hot through his veins, part frustration, part fear, and just a little part excitement. These little robbing trips were so easy most of the time, the thrill of breaking and entering rich peoples homes when they werenโ€™t there had long since lost its allure, and whilst he loved the idyllic life he had, that got boring too. Bucky and Steve had the perfect little haven, and he did love his solitude, but shit got lonely, especially in the last five years. Now even the job had become boring. It was all just so expected. Normal.
This was different. New.
Exciting.
There were four bedrooms on this floor according to the floor plan that he had been given, he expected to find the two little interlopers in the bedrooms facing the lake, but he checked the other two first to be sure, and then quietly locked those doors before treading silently to the the door on the left, it was slightly ajar, giving him an improved chance of not waking whoever was inside. The door opened silently when he pushed it, the clouds parted as he stepped into the room, and that was when he saw you, bathed in moonlight on the bed, the covers tangled around your waist, one leg exposed and bent at the knee. Both your arms were over your head, he could see the swells of your breasts under the cute strappy pyjama top you were wearingโ€ฆ and look at that, there was a little moon cartoon drawn on that space in between your titsโ€ฆ
โ€œPretty little Moonbeamโ€ฆโ€ Bucky didnโ€™t realise heโ€™d said that out loud until your eyelids fluttered open. Bucky stared at you for two long seconds as you woke up, your lips parted, and he swooped down and covered your mouth with his hand. He liked that you went completely still and didnโ€™t fight him, he still had to get what he assumed was your friend secured before he could explore this unexpected prize. Bucky slowly sat on the bed next to you, and put his fingers to his lips,ย 
โ€œWill you be quiet for me, Moonbeam? Iโ€™m not gonna hurt you, I promise, Iโ€™m only here to rob the place. No need for any fuss, okay?โ€ Bucky sighed when you nodded under his hand, and smiled as friendly as he could, โ€œGood girl. I wasnโ€™t expecting people here, Iโ€™m sorry if I scared you. Can you roll onto your front for me? I wonโ€™t hurt you, really.โ€
Bucky absolutely had no intention of hurting youโ€ฆ but there were other more pleasurable ways to make a woman scream. He took the cable ties he always had out of his pocket - they were the best for securing heavy items together - and kept his hand in place as you awkwardly did as you were told and rolled to your front. You were trembling slightly, so he tried to ease you slightly as he took one wrist and brought it behind your back,ย 
โ€œThere you go, now the other one, youโ€™re doing so well, baby, I wonโ€™t leave you like this, itโ€™s just so you donโ€™t hurt yourself whilst I do what I need to okay? Iโ€™m just trying to make some money, you understand that, donโ€™t you?โ€ Obviously you couldnโ€™t answer directly, but the barely perceptible nod you gave went straight to his cock, and that was before he tugged on the sheet and saw the shorts covering your ass, your cheeks just peeking out of the hems from where theyโ€™d risen on your hipsโ€ฆ
Bucky paused, the cable tie in his hand, his eyes on your perfect ass, his other hand over your mouth. He needed you to be silent whilst he got your friend, but he needed both hands to tie you up so you didnโ€™t run and make him knock you out. He leaned forwards so he could meet your eyes. Your eyes were wide and bright in the moonlight, they hooked onto his and you didnโ€™t look away, Bucky smiled as softly as he could,ย 
โ€œI need both hands, Moonbeam, will you be quiet if I stop holding your mouth? Please say yes. I donโ€™t want to knock you out, and I donโ€™t want to gag you.โ€ He let out a sigh of relief when you nodded, but he gripped a little harder before he let go, โ€œDonโ€™t let me down, baby, Iโ€™m trusting you.โ€ Slowly, he let goโ€ฆ and you just coughed quietly and stared up at him,ย 
โ€œWe werenโ€™t supposed to be here.โ€
โ€œI didnโ€™t know you would be. Iโ€™m glad I found you though.โ€ Bucky took your wrists and tied them securely, โ€œThatโ€™s not too tight, no?โ€
โ€œNo.โ€
โ€œGood,โ€ Bucky then tied your ankles, brought them to your back, and used a third tie to secure both together, leaving you completely immoble. He heard your breathing pick up, especially as he gave into his desire and he touched you over your back, rubbing circles in soothing circlesโ€ฆ lower. He stopped at the curve of your ass and rested his hand there, using his free hand to move your face around so he could look at you easier,ย 
โ€œI promised I wouldnโ€™t hurt youโ€ฆ you have a boyfriend, Moonbeam?โ€
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, your body held tightly now that his hand was where it shouldnโ€™t be, and you shook your head, โ€œN-noโ€ฆ why do you keep on calling me that?โ€
โ€œBecause, I saw you in the moonlight. Never seen anyone so goddamn beautiful in my life. Think I might want to take you rather than all this shit in this house.โ€ Now you slightly struggled, but a quick spank and you stilled again, โ€œNow donโ€™t make me gag you, Moonbeam. Itโ€™s okay, by the morning youโ€™ll want to come with me, anyway. Now stay here, Iโ€™m going to get yourโ€ฆ is she your friend? Or is it a guy in there?โ€
The rush of anger that went through Bucky at the thought of a guy staying with you was indescribable, and shocking, heโ€™d never felt jealous before. Thankfully you shook your head and whispered,ย 
โ€œItโ€™s my friend, but please donโ€™t hurt her-โ€
โ€œIs she as pretty as you are?โ€
โ€œW-what?โ€
โ€œRight,โ€ Bucky squeezed your cheek, and then stood up over you, โ€œIโ€™m going to get her and bring her here. Scream and wake her up, and Iโ€™ll hurt her in front of you, Moonbeam, you understand?โ€
Bucky turned away before he could hear your gasp. He had no intention of hurting either of you, not really, but thankfully you didnโ€™t test his threat and stayed deadly quiet as he opened the door to the other room. Your friend was on her front, and stirred just as he reached the edge of the bed, she fought a lot more than you did, Bucky growled when she even got her teeth into his right hand, but he tied her wrists and ankles and then slung her over his shoulder to bring to your room. Your friend was just as gorgeous as you were, but even though he could admit that, it was you that he wanted spread under him, you who he could see walking with him on the beach back home, you who he wanted in his kitchen and in his bedโ€ฆ
Unfortunately your friend started shrieking once she saw you on the bed, so he dropped her to her feet, and gagged her quickly, shoving some cloth in her mouth whilst he grabbed his phone,ย 
โ€œMoonbeam, I have to make a phone call, tell your friend to calm the fuck down.โ€
He could hear your whispers to your friend as he went to the hallway and stood at the top of the staircase, the phone rang once and then Steve answered,ย 
โ€œSteve, we may have a problem.โ€
โ€œTell me.โ€
โ€œThe house wasnโ€™t empty. Thereโ€™s two women here.โ€ Bucky quickly assured Steve that heโ€™d secured them, before describing them quickly. As expected, Steve hummed in thought, โ€œThe other one, she soundsโ€ฆ fun.โ€ Bucky grinned, he knew his friend's taste, โ€œHow far away are you?โ€
โ€œBe about thirty minutes.โ€
โ€œCan I take a peek?โ€
โ€œYou found them, Buck. I trust you.โ€
Bucky hung the phone up, and took a moment before going back to the bedroom, sighing when he saw your friends mouth at the cable ties holding you captive, trying to bite at them and snap them, he pulled her away on a huff of annoyance,ย 
โ€œWhat are you gonna do there? Neither of you can walk, your hands are useless, how are you helping?โ€ Bucky glared at your friend who didnโ€™t back down from the angry stare. He had to smile. Steve was going to love her.
โ€œOkay, fireball, just relax, please? I already told my Moonbeam Iโ€™m not going to hurt you, and I meant it. All me and my friend want is the shit in the house.โ€
โ€œYou asked if she has a boyfriend- hey!โ€
Bucky grabbed the gag and shoved it back in her mouth, and then went to you, stroking his hand over your cheek,ย 
โ€œAre you okay, Moonbeam?โ€
โ€œCan you let us go? We have the car, we can just go, weโ€™ll wait a few hours before calling the cops, we were asleep the whole time, right? You can get your stuff, and we can just go-โ€
โ€œSorry, Moonbeam, youโ€™ve both seen my face now. Youโ€™re going to have to come with us.โ€
โ€œB-but-โ€
โ€œThis doesnโ€™t have to be a bad thing, baby.โ€ Bucky sat back on his heels, pulling the penknife from his pocket, and quickly went to reassure you, โ€œNo, donโ€™t worry, this is just to take the ties from your legs, okay?โ€ You were trembling again as he undid the ties keeping you hogtied, and then the ones on your ankles, and the tie on your friends legs as well.
Now, the fun could begin.
Bucky took your upper arm, and gently helped you from the bed, leading you over to a couch in the opposite corner. It was large, the cushions looked comfy enough to sleep on, and they moulded wonderfully to you when Bucky sat you down on them. He stared down at you, biting his bottom lip briefly when he could see more of your cleavage down your top,ย 
โ€œStay there, Moonbeam, Iโ€™ll be back.โ€
You did as you were told. You were perfect.
Unlike your friend who tried to roll away, shrieking indignantly when he grabbed her and dragged her off the bed and to the couch, dumping her next to you. Bucky smirked at the look she gave him, if looks could kill, he knew he would be dead on the spot. He went to his knees in front of you both, his right hand on one of your legs, and his left on your friends,
โ€œListen ladies, Iโ€™m telling you the truth when I say that I wonโ€™t hurt either of you. Iโ€™m not going to beat or kill you, Iโ€™m not that kind of an asshole, do you believe me?โ€
The fiery friend rolled her eyes, jerking her leg away from his touch, but you - trembling and fearful though you were - held his gaze, and slowly nodded,ย 
โ€œYou wonโ€™t hurt us. I believe you.โ€
โ€œGood girl.โ€
โ€œY-you wonโ€™t hurt us, butโ€ฆ you want us?โ€
Bucky squeezed your knee, let his palm drift a little higher,ย 
โ€œYeah, Moonbeam, I really kind of do. I mean, I want you mostly, but Steve - my friend, heโ€™s not going to be long - will definitely want your friend, and weโ€™re more than happy sharing.โ€
Your breathing picks up at that, your leg tenses underneath his palm, but you donโ€™t pull away. In fact, if Bucky were a guessing man, he would say that you were turned on by the idea. He knew he was attractive, heโ€™d used it to seduce information out of marks before. He worked out regularly and tried to eat a good diet, kept his hair a little longer and kept just enough stubble that it made his eyes look brighter and knew it would enhance pleasure when he went down on someone.
God, he wanted that with you. One look at you drenched in moonlight and he was a goner.
โ€œI think you donโ€™t mind the idea, huh, Moonbeam, in factโ€ฆโ€ Bucky let his eyes drift down, and sure enough, your nipples were hard against the cotton of your top, โ€œYou want me inside you, donโ€™t you, baby? I bet youโ€™re even a little wetโ€ฆ Can I look, Moonbeam? You can pretend you donโ€™t like it, itโ€™s okay, I wonโ€™t tell.โ€
Your thighs rub together slightly, not desperately, but Bucky can tell. You shake your head, almost like youโ€™re trying to convince yourself,ย 
โ€œPeople know weโ€™re here, you canโ€™t just-โ€
โ€œYouโ€™ll be long gone and impaled on my cock on a beach far away by the time anyone realises youโ€™re gone, Moonbeam.โ€ Bucky kneels up and leans over you, his lips at your ear, his hands resting on your shoulders, fingers hovering over the straps of your top, โ€œHow would you like that? Me taking you from behind, your face in your friend's cunt, as she sucks on my friend's dick?โ€ Your breath catches, your friend goes completely still, and Bucky grins, pressing one thigh in between yours, and his other in between your friends,ย  โ€œIโ€™ll treat you so good. I can prove just how good, right now.โ€
He doesnโ€™t give you a chance to answer. Your legs are open, youโ€™re not fighting him, even your friend's breathing has changed from fury to just the barest hint of desire. He stands up over both of you, reaches for the hem of his black Henley, and pulls it over his head. Bucky looks at you as you take him in, your eyes latch onto his metal arm for one split second, but then you look all over his body, the pulse in your neck gets faster and that only makes his cock impossibly harder in his pants. He takes a grip of it, and that's when he hears you groan. Bucky grins,ย 
โ€œIโ€™ve shown you mine, ladies, now letโ€™s see what you have hidden.โ€ Anticipation is sweet, which is why Bucky went to your friend first, his hands at the neckline of the tank top she wore. She held his gaze as he slowly tore the cotton open, exposing her underneath, โ€œYeah, youโ€™re a real pretty one. Steve is gonna love you.โ€ Bucky quickly looked over at you, your eyes bright in the darkness, but no longer in fear. Feeling more than a little bold, he quickly bent his head and flicked at your friends nipple with his tongueโ€ฆ sure enough, the look you gave him wasnโ€™t of horror,ย 
โ€œYou jealous, Moonbeam? Would you prefer if I was sucking on your pretty tits instead?โ€
You didnโ€™t nod your head, you just looked away. That was okay, you were still struggling with what you were feeling, this wasnโ€™t a usual situation. Bucky spent another few seconds testing how your friend's breasts felt in his hands, against his lips, in his mouth. He came up for air, grinning in her face, amused at how she was glaring at him, but she had the same tell tale signs you did.
Both of you were enjoying this, you just didnโ€™t want to admit it.
Bucky tweaked her nipple, and then leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss, whispering against your friends lips,
โ€œGotta give Steve a good report, Iโ€™ll call him in a second, plus I want to make my Moonbeam a little insane before I see what she looks like under her clothes.โ€
Your friend doesnโ€™t reply, instead she groans when Bucky reaches down and tugs her pyjama bottoms off and brings them down her legs. His eyes dip down, and he sighs in pleasure at the sight in front of him, before looking at you,
โ€œMoonbeam, I really want to have a look at your friends pussy, but I want to see in between your legs first,โ€ Bucky patted your friends knee, โ€œdonโ€™t worry, sweetheart, Iโ€™m sure youโ€™re real beautiful but I want my Moonbeam coming on my hand before you, is that okay?โ€
Bucky doesnโ€™t give her a chance to respond, instead he comes back to you, and puts his palms on the couch cushions on either side of your head. His knees hurt a little from the prolonged contact with the floor, but he doesnโ€™t mind, heโ€™ll stay on his knees in front of you for the rest of time if thatโ€™s what you want. Bucky leans forward, taking in that pulse in your neck, the way your eyes shine in the dark, how heavily youโ€™re breathingโ€ฆ
โ€œPretend you donโ€™t want me to touch you if you wantโ€ฆ but we both know that you want me inside your gorgeous body, donโ€™t we?โ€
For ten long seconds, Bucky thinks that youโ€™re going to deny it, make him prove what he knows to be true, but instead,ever so slowly, you open your legs around his waist. Bucky nearly comes in his pants as you do, and he reaches out and cups your cheek,
โ€œYou really are the best treasure I couldโ€™ve found here, Moonbeam.โ€
With that, he takes the straps of your top and tugs them down your shoulders, peeling the rest of the cotton to your waist so he can look at your now exposed chest,
โ€œFuck, youโ€™re so goddamn pretty, tits just made to be in my mouth,โ€ Bucky reaches up and holds you in his palms, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, before leaning forward and capturing one in his mouth whilst he continued rolling the other in his left hand. He could hear your friend scold you in his ear, which made him smile against your skin, โ€œDonโ€™t tell off Moonbeam, you fiery little hypocrite. I know that when I open your legs in a few minutes Iโ€™m going to see you creaming. Itโ€™s nothing to be ashamed of. Stevie and I are very generous lovers, ladies, weโ€™ll both make sure you guys come first. Speaking ofโ€ฆโ€ Bucky ignored your friend so he could kiss you long and slow.
Your mouth was intoxicating, you kissed him so sweetly, still a little nervous, probably a little overwhelmed, but that was fine by him. The point was you kissed him back.
โ€œI d-donโ€™tโ€ฆ ohโ€ฆโ€
Your slight protest trailed off when Bucky let his right hand drop from your breast to between your legs, over the shorts that you wore. The heat he could feel made his mouth water, you were so damp already, Bucky took a gentle hold over your throat with his left hand, keeping his eyes on yoursโ€ฆ and then he dipped under the material to run his index finger up and down your slit,
โ€œShhhhโ€ฆ youโ€™re like heaven, Moonbeam, already drenched for me, youโ€™re gonna be a tight fit, arenโ€™t you? Let me justโ€ฆ fuckโ€ฆโ€ Bucky eased his ring finger inside, just up to the knuckle, and kept his thumb on your clit, โ€œyouโ€™re already fluttering around me, are you that turned on, you little slut?โ€ Bucky didnโ€™t wait for a reply, instead he pulled his finger out from you, and sucked it clean, โ€œPerfect. Iโ€™m going to look at you now, okay? Lift your ass for me, good girl.โ€ Bucky pulled the shorts away, and then spread your legs as wide as he could, then he moved your friend slightly and did the same to her.ย 
You were both beautiful, but his eyes were more drawn to you. He couldnโ€™t explain it, but everything about you called to him. Bucky palmed himself over his cargo pants again, urging himself to calm down when he saw your hole clench around nothing, and rubbed his hand over his mouth,
โ€œOkay, ladies, first one to come gets to suck me off, howโ€™s that for a deal?โ€ Bucky winked at you, โ€œI kind of hope itโ€™s you, Moonbeam, I really want to see those pretty lips stretched around my dickโ€ฆ both sets of lips.โ€ To emphasise the point, Bucky ran his right hand back up your leg, and parted your lower lips with his fingers, โ€œYou have a perfect cunt, baby.โ€ Bucky did the same to your friend, โ€œYours is beautiful too, but I think Steve is going to be more interested in your ass.โ€
Bucky then put both his index and middle fingers inside your mouths, waiting whilst you both swirled your tongues around the digits then-
โ€œ-fuck!โ€ His phone started ringing, and Bucky hastily put it on speaker before carefully pushing his fingers inside both of you at the same time, the gasps of you both filled the space as Steveโ€™s voice came on the speaker,
โ€œIs the door open for me, Buck? Iโ€™m like two minutes away.โ€
โ€œNope, I forgot. Iโ€™m busy right now, Stevie - oh, I think your girl likes the sound of your voice, Steve, she just started dripping.โ€ Bucky ignored the sound of Steveโ€™s growl, choosing instead to lean down and lap at your clit - he really wanted you to win this bet. Bucky could suddenly hear the sound of the front door being broken into, โ€œYou want me to do anything else to your girl, Stevie?โ€ Bucky grinned as he gently used his pinkie to test both you and your friend's back passages, โ€œYouโ€™re gonna be happy, I think your girl is an anal virgin!โ€
The sound of smashing glass made both of you shriek, and Bucky frowned, โ€œFuck you! You made my girl jump!โ€
Steve bounded up the stairs, and kicked the door open. Bucky pulled his fingers from your friend, using the now free hand to pull you closer to him so he could go a little deeper inside you,
โ€œGo take her to her room, Steve. I think we can take a day here, canโ€™t we?โ€
Your friend stared open mouthed at Steve, his hair was dishevelled, his chest was heaving, and his sea green eyes had latched firmly onto your friend. Even Bucky could see that his friendโ€™s reaction was immediate.
He definitely liked her.
โ€œYeah sure, Buck. Iโ€™ll see you in the morning.โ€
With that, Steve swooped down and grabbed your friend, who promptly started struggling, the sound of her complaints and Steveโ€™s laughter making him grin.
Bucky turned back to you, his attention could finally focus entirely on you and everything he wanted to do.
โ€œAlone at last.โ€
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โ€œAlone at last.โ€
Your head swam with all the chaos and insanity the last hour had brought you. All youโ€™d wanted was a nice break away, and instead youโ€™d ended up in the crosshairs of a pair of robbers, and the brunette's fingers bringing you way too close to what you could already tell was going to the best orgasm of your life.
You close your eyes when you hear the distant and distinct sounds of spanking, and your friends' breathy moans. Apparently this โ€˜Steveโ€™ had figured out her kink and was using it against her mercilessly.
Too bad that โ€˜Buckโ€™ had figured out yours as well. Or maybe not bad. Or possibly it was terrible, except it felt wonderful-
โ€œCome for me, Moonbeam, then Iโ€™m going to come down your throat.โ€
It should make you terrified, you shouldnโ€™t want this, but you let yourself fly apart on his fingers, riding them desperately as the feeling slowly fades and youโ€™re left breathless and exhausted. You donโ€™t fight as your captor undoes your wrists from the cable ties, and positions you so youโ€™re on your front along the cushions of the couch. Energy zips through you when you see the man get as naked as you in front of you, youโ€™re curious about his arm, but youโ€™re too distracted by his cock that right in front of your face.
He gets on the couch next to you, dragging you upwards so your face is in his lap, and he pushes himself at your lips,ย 
โ€œSuck it good, Moonbeam, then Iโ€™m gonna fuck you all night.โ€ You hesitate for the briefest second - he was larger than you had had before - but a quick tap to your ass brought your face closer, โ€œDonโ€™t keep me waiting any longer, you tease.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m not teasing youโ€ฆ Iโ€™m just nervous.โ€ You chance a look up at him, โ€œYou come barging in, re-name me, finger fuck me and my friend and now youโ€™re talking about kidnapping us and probably taking us out of the country, Iโ€™m allowed to be nervous!โ€ Your nails dig into the muscle of his thigh - and you clench yours together at the strength in them, at the thought of sitting astride one and riding it until youโ€™re spentโ€ฆ โ€œJust take it slow? Please? I donโ€™t even know your name.โ€
The man smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and he leaned down and kissed you again. Heโ€™s too good at that, immediately youโ€™re relaxing into his lap as he holds you to him, like you belong thereโ€ฆ
โ€œMy name is Bucky, Moonbeam.โ€
โ€œBucky?โ€
โ€œYep, get used to saying, soon youโ€™ll be chanting it.โ€ With that, Bucky gets up and stands in front of you, โ€œOpen wide. When Iโ€™m done, get on all fours on the bed.โ€
The sun rose hours later, with you draped over Buckyโ€™s chest. Your skin tingles, even as you ached in all the best ways. The room smelled of sex, sex that was still going as Bucky held your arms at your lower back, and pounded into you from beneath you, his lips at your neck, and his free arm wrapped firmly around your waist keeping you flush against him,ย 
โ€œYou feel me, Moonbeam, or is your pretty cunt numb yet? Answer me, baby, or I wonโ€™t let you come.โ€
Heโ€™d done this what felt like thousands of times over the last god knows how many hours, teasing you and tormenting you and pleasuring you in equal measure. You were drunk on the taste and feel of him, an addiction now that you didnโ€™t think you could let go even if you wanted to. Good thing you didnโ€™t want to.
Good think Bucky had no intention of letting you go.
โ€œI f-feel youโ€ฆ fuck, Buckyyyy.โ€ The orgasm punches through you, but youโ€™re too fucked out to do more than whine and slump even further forward. Bucky drops your arms, and then throws you on your back next to him, spreading your legs wide and kneeling between them, his fingers spread you wide open, and his metal hand pumps his cock,ย 
โ€œLast one for a while, Moonbeam, all over this pretty body, you did so good, you look so fucking gorgeous- fuck!โ€ On a bark, he finishes all over you, you feel warmth at your cunt, on your stomach, some even reach your tits and neck. You donโ€™t flinch, not anymore, you kind of wish you had the energy to bring it to your lips to take more inside you, but you couldnโ€™t move if you tried. Thankfully Bucky knows what you want, you feel his hands between your legs, pushing himself inside you, and then those same fingers tap at your lips, โ€œCome on now, open up for me, then Iโ€™ll let you sleep.โ€
You groan at the taste of him as it hits your tongue, and smile when he gets back into bed beside you, draping the covers neatly over you and bringing you firmly to his side. Youโ€™re almost asleep when the door to the bedroom is opened on a creak and you hear Bucky talking to his friend, Steve,ย 
โ€œHow is yours?โ€
You hear Steve chuckle, โ€œNever had better, and I got the scratch marks to prove it.โ€ Thereโ€™s a jostle on the bed and you open your eyes to see a naked Steve place your friend, who is equally naked, on the bed next to you. She looks as blissed out as you are, and she reaches back to Steve on a whine, โ€œDonโ€™t worry, Sunbeam, Iโ€™m coming in too, let me look at your friend first, Bucky got to see you.โ€
It doesnโ€™t even occur to you to be scared when the covers are removed and you feel fingers on your skin that definitely arenโ€™t Buckyโ€™s,ย 
โ€œPretty. Iโ€™m glad we found some good ones finally.โ€
โ€œMe too, buddy.โ€
โ€œWeโ€™ll give them a couple of hours, then we need to get motivated and go.โ€
Steve gets in and drags your friend next to him, casually lifting one of her thighs so he can ease into her from behind. He grins when he sees you looking, โ€œMy little Sunbeam has a warm pussy, I never want to leave it.โ€
Your friend rolls her eyesโ€ฆ but she smiles, and after a moment so do you.
โ€œAre you okay with this, Y/N?โ€ Your friend whispers to you. You see Steve reach around and wrap a hand around her throat, but sheโ€™s not afraid, she just leans back into his touch. Bucky nuzzles against your neck, his right bicep under head like a pillow whilst his left hand fondles your breastโ€ฆ youโ€™re not overwhelmed or nervous anymore.
โ€œI really am.โ€
You knew going away for the weekend was a good idea.
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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Dune: Part Two (2024) dir. Denis Villeneuve Zoolander (2001) dir. Ben Stiller
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FLEABAG (2016) Created by Phoebe Waller-Bridge
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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if yโ€™all donโ€™t vote for badlands, Iโ€™m rioting
note: to my top gun girlies, i have a few fics i'm working on plotting/finishing. so which one would you want the most? also i'm not adding my mickey fic 'love on the brain' cause that's coming first anyways.
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sunflowersteves ยท 6 days
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EVERYONE VOTE RN
note: to my top gun girlies, i have a few fics i'm working on plotting/finishing. so which one would you want the most? also i'm not adding my mickey fic 'love on the brain' cause that's coming first anyways.
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sunflowersteves ยท 8 days
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Help Me Help You
Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader
Synopsis: (12.6k wc) Steve can't always admit when he needs help - which is why Robin is there to tell him. Weeks of therapy and he feels like he's gotten nowhere. So what happens when his therapist recommends a group session? What if he recognizes someone there?
Warnings: fluff, angst, mental health - anxiety, depression, panic attacks, mentions of loss, therapy, SA
Click here to see my Masterlist | click here for my Steve Harrington taglist
This is a little different than what I usually post but I started writing this when I wasn't in the best place and I found it helped a lot. A lot of this stuff I've been through but if there is any feedback you guys have to portray the things discussed better please reach out!
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โ€œAnd how has that shaped you?โ€
The words echoed in Steveโ€™s ears. He had heard it, comprehended the question; but his mind drifted far away. The grey carpet floor beneath him held no value, but he couldnโ€™t look away. Why did he think therapy was a good idea?
Dr. Ackerman shifted in her seat, her pencil tapping against a notebook in her lap. โ€œSteve,โ€ she said sternly. He only mumbled a response, picking his head up. โ€œHow did not getting into college shape you?โ€
It sounded more like an interview question than anything else. Something a mid-level employee would ask him as he sat in the front of the store, nerves taking over his whole body.ย 
He propped his foot up on one knee, trying to think of an answer quickly. โ€œUh more resilience, I guess?โ€
Nodding, Dr. Ackerman wrote on her notepad. โ€œCare to elaborate?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know, that kind of life wasnโ€™t meant for me. It made me move on to better things.โ€ He tried not to tap his fingers against his thigh - a nervous tick he had developed over the years.
โ€œAnd why do you think that life, going to college, wasnโ€™t for you?โ€
He tried to think of a way to justify his answer. Telling the truth wasnโ€™t an option, despite it being the reason he sought out counseling.ย 
She leaned forward, letting her hands drift over her knees. โ€œThis wonโ€™t work if youโ€™re not open, Steve.โ€
Shit how did she know?
Leaning back Dr. Ackerman continued, โ€œI want you to come this weekend to sit in on a group session with my other patients. See how talking about whatโ€™s wrong may help you.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know โ€“โ€œ he began, already hesitant on her suggestion.
Putting up a hand, she silenced him. โ€œNo fighting. You need to commit, Stephen.โ€
The mention of his full name stung, a friendly reminder that she was older, wiser โ€“ a person who knew what was best for him.
โ€œTrust me. This will help.โ€
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Something smelled good. Way too good.ย 
It floated through his house, filling every crevice despite the absence of bodies. It made him feel safe, an unfamiliar sensation to him from the last few years. Following the smell, he walked into the kitchen. Robin was standing over the stove, a paper towel gripped over her arm.
โ€œWhat did you do?โ€ He asked, announcing his presence.ย 
He wasnโ€™t surprised to see her. More and more the past few weeks she had been spending time at his house, even taking up a semi permanent room upstairs.ย 
She turned around, her face softening from a scowl. โ€œJust burned my arm with oil. I think I put too much in the pan.โ€ Steve chuckled. โ€œHow did it go?โ€
Shedding his jacket, he sat down at the counter. โ€œIt was fine. She wants me to do group therapy this weekend.โ€ย 
โ€œDo you think it will help?โ€
He shrugged, not knowing his true answer. Out of all the people in their little party of monster fighters, Steve experienced some of the worst. From getting beat up more times that he could count, to getting tortured by Russians, he was in desperate need of help.ย 
But part of him still thought he didnโ€™t when there were always others that would need him. His brain would spiral. To thoughts of the kids, hoping another gate hadnโ€™t opened up; to Joyce and Hopper, wondering if someone would come back looking for them. But as the PTSD of his past caught up to him, it felt like the only viable option.
โ€œWhat are you cooking?โ€ he asked, diverting the conversation.
โ€œChicken,โ€ Robin replied. โ€œI mean, itโ€™ll probably taste like shit. But itโ€™s been a while since we had a proper meal, ya know?โ€
He nodded. โ€œYeah it has beenโ€ฆdonโ€™t worry though it actually smells really good. I think Iโ€™m going to take a nap before we eat if thatโ€™s okay? Just tired from this โ€“โ€
โ€œ โ€“ you donโ€™t have to explain. I understand.โ€
He smiled at her โ€“ a genuine smile. Nowadays it felt like every emotion he felt was being forced, a sign to tell the others he was okay. But Robin had a way of bringing out his true self. She understood him in ways no one else in his life did. From the moment they went crashing down in that Russian elevator, they were linked at the hip - a single mind working cohesively.
Entering his bedroom, he felt immediate relief. It was a sense of safety, like a big blanket wrapping him in a warm hug. Sinking into the mattress he let sleep take him, hoping to not wake up from the horror of his dreams.
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The weekend came sooner than Steve would have liked. He didnโ€™t feel ready to walk into group therapy, no matter how much he tried to prepare himself. The unknown scared him, even when it came to just talking about his feelings.ย 
Robin offered to drive him. He was reluctant at first since she had only had her license for a year. But the session was a couple of towns over and she knew how his mind would run if he was alone in his car.
Pulling up to the building, she let the car roll to a stop. The engine continued to rumble in Steveโ€™s ears, his heart matching the irregular pattern. It was like he was riding up a roller coaster, the top never coming into sight. He shut his eyes, trying to wish the feeling away.
Robin placed a hand gently on his shoulder, grounding him back to reality. โ€œHey,โ€ she began. โ€œEverythingโ€™s gonna be alright.โ€
Nodding, he unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed the water bottle he had brought. โ€œThanks for driving, Rob.โ€
โ€œOf course. Iโ€™ll be here when you get out.โ€
With one last breath, he said to himself, โ€œAll right, letโ€™s do this.โ€
He opened the car door, letting the cold air hit his face as he climbed out. It felt nice, like a wake-up call he so desperately needed.ย 
โ€œYou got this!โ€ Robin exclaimed from the rolled-down window.ย 
He smiled, watching as she drove off before turning back to the big brick building in front of him. It was a different place from his usual sessions with Dr. Ackerman. But as he entered the building, he found it felt eerily similar. Was every therapist's office decorated the same? From the off-grey carpet to the leather sofa, it felt like a place he had been before. It helped calm his emotions just a smidge.ย 
โ€œCan I help you, sweetie?โ€ He turned to the lady behind the front counter.
โ€œUh, yeah Iโ€™m here for Dr. Ackermanโ€™s group session?โ€
โ€œFollow me,โ€ she said with a warm smile.
The lady moved from her place behind the counter to open the door at the other end of the room. Closely, he followed her down the narrow hallway. His heart began to race, wondering how he could talk about his traumas without revealing the supernatural. It was hard to do with one person but a whole group? He might as well sew his mouth shut.ย 
โ€œHere you are sweetie,โ€ the lady said, swinging open a door.ย 
He barely had time to thank her before the door was shut behind him, leaving him alone in a room of strangers. Well, strangers plus one person he never thought heโ€™d see again; Y/N L/N. She was sitting in a chair, arms crossed in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings. It was very different from how he remembered her in high school.ย 
From the few classes they shared and the occasional hellos in the hallway, he knew she was a pretty friendly, put-together person. She was always kind to people, despite the unfriendly rumors about how many notches were on her bedpost. Last he heard, she was heading off to some Ivy League school after graduation. So what was she doing sitting in on this therapy group?
He wanted to talk to her, to reconnect even though they were never close to begin with. Her eyes were glued to the hem of her sweatshirt, pinching at it in boredom. Then she looked up, scanning the room before her eyes landed on him. Her breath hitched for a moment as Steve saw her realize who he was.ย 
Wanting to talk to her, he stepped forward. Before he could even make it an inch, Dr. Ackermanโ€™s voice pulled him away.ย 
โ€œMr. Harrington,โ€ she greeted him. โ€œGlad to see you could join us. Please, take a seat.โ€
Giving a polite smile, he stole a glance at Y/N one more time. She was already looking down at the floor, back to pulling on the strings of her pullover.ย 
As the therapy season began and people began to speak, Steve found himself barely paying attention. He went into this session hoping to get the most out of it, to really take in and listen to what people had to say. But that was before he saw Y/N. Shy and still undeniably cute, Y/N.ย 
He wanted to hear her story, not the strangers they were surrounded by. He wanted to know why she was here, not in New Jersey, and what could have happened in her life that made her need therapy in the first place. Steve knew his past was fucked up but from an outsiderโ€™s perspective, it never seemed like hers was.ย 
Unlucky for him, she barely spoke the entire session. There was the occasional nod or spoken agreement, but she never elaborated on any subject brought up. The minute Dr. Ackerman announced their time was over, and before he could even talk to her, she was gone. Out the door and out of his life.ย 
Steve slumped back into his chair, feeling defeated. He didnโ€™t know why he felt so down. She was never a close friend to him, even at the height of them interacting in school. He got up to leave, hoping to catch her outside when he heard Dr. Ackerman called his name. Begrudgingly, he turned around to face her.
โ€œSo, what did you think?โ€ she asked.
โ€œI uh, donโ€™t really know,โ€ he responded truthfully.
โ€œThen I want you to come back next weekend. And try to talk more, okay? You get out of it what you put in.โ€
Nodding, he gave her a goodbye. He rushed out the door, hoping to catch Y/N before she left. But alas, he was too late. Everyone had gone for the day. The only person left was Robin, patiently waiting in the car next to the curb.ย 
โ€œHowโ€™d it go?โ€ She asked, as he stepped into the car.ย 
โ€œFine,โ€ he replied, as he played with the hem of his shirt. โ€œI uhโ€ฆ saw Y/N L/N. Remember her?โ€
โ€œI think so. Pretty sure we had chem together. Wait, wasnโ€™t she some big shot? Going off to Princeton or something?โ€
Steve shrugged. โ€œI guess not anymore.โ€
Robin gave an inquisitive hum in lieu of a reply. He stared out the window as she drove, partly thinking of how much Robinโ€™s driving had improved. But mostly, his mind was filled with thoughts of Y/N and how he couldnโ€™t wait to see her again.ย 
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Steve made sure to arrive extra early for the group session the following week. He walked into the office complex, moving his way through the halls to the familiar door with Dr. Ackermanโ€™s plaque across the front. With one last deep breath, he went in.ย 
The receptionist recognized him, letting him go into the therapy room with no problem. โ€œDr. Ackerman isnโ€™t here yet but make yourself comfortable,โ€ she told him.ย 
โ€œThanks,โ€ he replied softly, watching her close the door behind him.ย 
When he turned around again, he was greeted with semi-familiar faces staring back at him. He scanned the room; no Y/N in sight. Giving a weak smile, he sat down in the same seat from last week.ย 
He could tell the others' eyes were on him, trying to get a read on the newbie. There werenโ€™t many people there but it sure felt like a lot. A boy, probably around his age, a slightly older woman dressed very professionally, and an older lady that he had to guess was a few years away from a retirement home.ย 
โ€œHey,โ€ the younger boy said, causing Steve to look up. โ€œIโ€™m Matt.โ€ Steve replied with only his name, not knowing what else to say. Matt motioned to the woman in her late 20s wearing almost a business suit. โ€œThatโ€™s Sam, and grandma over there is Louise. She could drop dead any minute so be on the lookout.โ€
โ€œMatt!โ€ Sam exclaimed, hitting his arm. โ€œDonโ€™t say that.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s alright, sweetie,โ€ Louise calmed her. โ€œHe can say anything he wants as long as he remembers that I know where he lives, and I own a gun.โ€
Steveโ€™s eyes went wide, his shoulders stiffening. Did that old woman just threaten him? Matt bursted out laughing. It was clear the group was comfortable with that sort of joking around. He turned back to a very tense Steve. โ€œWhat are you here for?โ€
โ€œYou donโ€™t have to answer that.โ€ Sam told him..ย 
โ€œItโ€™s complicated,โ€ Steve said honestly. โ€œI-Iโ€™m not really sure how I would explain it anyways.โ€
โ€œOooh,โ€ Matt cooed. โ€œAre you in a love triangle?โ€
โ€œNo I โ€“โ€
โ€œFamily abandon you?โ€
โ€œWell โ€“โ€
โ€œOh I got it!โ€ He interrupted again, sitting up straighter in his chair. โ€œYou got bit by a rabies infected bat and turned into a vampire.โ€
Steve tensed. How did heโ€“ it was obviously a joke. Not anything to take seriously so Steve decided to play along. โ€œActually, youโ€™re not that far off.โ€
Matt chuckled, looking over at Sam who let out a small laugh as well. โ€œI like you. Youโ€™re gonna fit in just fine.โ€
โ€œOkayโ€ฆโ€ Steve said hesitantly, not knowing quite what he meant.ย 
The door softly clicked open, everyone turning to look who it was. Steve sucked in a breath when he realized it was Y/N. She was wearing something similar to last week, a pair of jeans and a sweater two sizes too big. The room was small enough that as she scanned the environment, her eyes locked with his.
Steve heard the others greeting her as she stepped further into the room, but his gaze was still fixed on her. Quickly, Y/N looked down, her hair falling gently over her face. He couldnโ€™t help but feel a little hurt. Maybe she realized that they would be seeing more of each other; maybe she didnโ€™t want to see him at all. He watched as she walked to an open seat, setting her bag down at her feet.
Steve wanted to speak, to say something to Y/N even though he didnโ€™t know what. Cursed again, Dr. Ackerman bursted into the room. โ€œSorry Iโ€™m late,โ€ she announced. โ€œLetโ€™s get started.โ€
Even though his mind was filled with thoughts of Y/N, he did manage to listen in more to the problems of his fellow group members. Matt was from a couple towns over attending the state college. His anxiety got the best of him and he had a falling out with his best friend. Sam was an elementary school teacher who suffered from PTSD from her younger years traveling as a military brat. And Louise was grieving the loss of her son - a car accident from a few months prior. He listened in more, taking in the symptoms and coping mechanisms they used. Some of the things they said sounded familiar, things that he could learn from his own terrifying experiences.
Once Louise, recounted her past week, how it felt in the wake of her sonโ€™s death, Dr. Ackerman turned to him.ย 
โ€œSteve,โ€ she said suddenly, taking him off guard from sneaking a look at Y/N. โ€œYou've experienced some loss in your life as well?โ€ He nodded, not knowing where this was going. โ€œWould you like to share a recent experience you had? Maybe the group has some coping skills to help you.ย 
Suddenly all the eyes were on him. He felt violated, talking in front of people he barely knew for two days. But in the words of Dr. Ackerman, it wasnโ€™t going to help if he didnโ€™t contribute.ย 
He began to speak, choosing his words very carefully. โ€œUm yeah I guess Iโ€™ve been surrounded by loss, more so in the past couple of years.โ€
ย He felt Y/N look up at him, sympathy in her stare. It gave him the courage to continue.ย 
โ€œFirst it was my exโ€™s best friend. I didnโ€™t know her well but she was last seen at my house so, I guess I blame myself for that? My friend, his momโ€™s boyfriend passed away, as well as another friendโ€™s older brotherโ€ฆbut more recently, a-a new friend. We had only just metโ€ฆ he uh, played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons.โ€
He looked over at Y/N again who was still staring at him, her sympathy replaced with something else - something he couldnโ€™t quiet. Fright? No, recognition.
โ€œI think of him sometimesโ€“ the new friend,โ€ Steve clarified, glancing down at his fingers tapping against his thigh. โ€œWe only knew each other for a short while but he was a good dudeโ€ฆI see stuff around town sometimes that reminds me of him and I feel like Iโ€™m back- โ€œย 
In the Upside Down.
โ€œIn a dark place,โ€ he opted to say instead.ย 
When he looked up at the group, he felt relieved. They all looked at him with a sense of understanding, like they knew what he was going through. Hell, after what he heard today they probably were.
โ€œI see,โ€ Dr. Ackerman began. โ€œSo group, what can Steve do?โ€
โ€œWell, I find the 54321 method helpful,โ€ Sam said.ย 
Matt pointed at her. โ€œI was about to say the same thing.โ€
โ€œThe 54321 method?โ€ Steve asked, hoping they would explain further.ย 
โ€œY/N,โ€ Dr. Ackerman said. She looked up at her. โ€œWould you mind explaining to Steve what this coping skill is?โ€
Steve looked over at her hesitantly. โ€œUh sure,โ€ she said, sitting up straighter. She was trying to look at him but her eyes fell back to her lap. โ€œYou count five things you can see around you, four things you can feelโ€ฆ uh three things you can hear. Two you can smell and one you can taste.โ€
โ€œVery good Y/N.โ€
She looked up at him one last time, her gaze holding longer than usual and Steve felt like she could take his breath away.ย 
โ€œAnd have you been using those methods yourself?โ€ Dr. Ackerman asked.ย 
She tore her gaze away from Steve, looking back at their therapist. โ€œI-Iโ€™ve been trying.โ€
โ€œWell thatโ€™s a step forward right? Effort is all I can ask for. Now Steve,โ€ she directed her attention back to her. โ€œThose were great examples, but not the one I was looking for.โ€
โ€œIt wasnโ€™t?โ€ย 
โ€œWhat about your parents?โ€
He shook his head. โ€œMy parents arenโ€™t dead.โ€
โ€œBut are they around often?โ€ Steve froze. She knew they werenโ€™t. Where was she going with this? Shaking his head, she continued. โ€œCouldnโ€™t that count as a form of loss? The loss of parental figures?โ€
He remained silent. Could it?
โ€œLoss is not just death, Steve. It can take on many forms.โ€
Shit, he hadnโ€™t thought of it that way. How much in his life had he truly lost? His parents, his friends, his reputationโ€ฆ Before he could even begin to process what that meant, Dr. Ackerman moved on to Matt who talked about his recent split from his best friend. But Steve was still in his own mind. His own thoughts drowning out the voices of the people around him.ย 
Maybe he needed therapy more than he cared to admit.
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Before Steve knew it, the session was over and he was making his way out of the room, the thought of loss still very much present in his mind. He didnโ€™t realize how much therapy would actually help him. Though mental health was something more and more people were beginning to talk about, it still had a lot of negative stereotypes. One wrong step and you could end up in a psychiatric ward without really needing it.
Trying to give his brain a break, Steve shifted his focus to Y/N and how he desperately wanted to try and talk to her. But yet again, Dr. Ackerman stopped him. โ€œSo, how are you liking the group?โ€
โ€œA lot better than last week,โ€ he replied, watching a small smile form on her face.
โ€œGood. Thatโ€™s really good, Steve.โ€
โ€œCan Iโ€ฆkeep coming to this group? On top of our sessions?โ€
She nodded. โ€œThat was the plan all along. See you later this week.โ€
โ€œSee you, Dr. Ackerman.โ€
Despite the heavy topic of the session, the moment Steve stepped outside, it was like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. The air felt nice, so crisp on his skin it was like a fresh glass of water. He was reluctant to admit that Dr. Ackerman was right, but the lady knew her stuff.
Looking around, he noticed Robin hadnโ€™t arrived yet. Everybody else was gone, or so he thought.
โ€œI didnโ€™t know that about your parents.โ€
Steve turned around to find Y/N leaning against a wall, a cigarette between her fingers. There was no need for introductions, they both had remembered each other โ€“ it was just a matter of who would speak first.
โ€œUh, yeah,โ€ Steve began to respond, shoving his hands in his pockets. He spent so long building up the moment they would speak again that when the time came, he felt frozen. Like a deep in headlights. Making his way over to her, he continued, โ€œMost people donโ€™t.โ€
She nodded, taking a puff of the cigarette. As she breathed out, a cloud of smoke followed, slowly floating above them. Steve tried not to wince at the smell. โ€œWant one?โ€ she offered.
โ€œNo thanks, I quit last year.โ€
Her eyebrows raised, surprised. Slowly she shrugged. โ€œThat makes one of us.โ€
Not knowing what to do, Steve looked around, trying his best to find something for them to talk about besides the obvious. Unfortunately, he came up with nothing. โ€œI thought you went off to college.โ€
โ€œI did,โ€ she said before mumbling, โ€œUntil Gary entered the picture.โ€
โ€œWhoโ€™s Gary?โ€
Not responding, she puffed out more smoke. It was clearly a touchy subject and Steve knew all too well about those.ย 
โ€œI-Iโ€™m happy youโ€™re here though.โ€
She scoffed. โ€œReally?โ€
He nodded. โ€œI wished we stayed in touch when school was over.โ€
โ€œHate to break it to you, Harrington, but I didnโ€™t consider us friends.โ€
โ€œI mean, me neither. But I remember you being one of the few people that called me on my bullshit โ€“ could see through my liesโ€ฆI need more people like that in my life.โ€
She stared at him, her cigarette still loosely hanging between fingers. He didnโ€™t know what she was thinking, what she was searching for in his comment. Maybe the truth? To see if he was lying? Before either of them could say anymore a honk echoed across the parking lot. Steve turned to see Robin pulling up to the curb. She rolled down the window as she parked.ย 
โ€œThatโ€™s my ride,โ€ Steve said, slowly backing away. โ€œYou remember Buckley? Another Hawkins High survivor.โ€
โ€œYeah, hey,โ€ Y/N said, giving a small wave.
Robin waved back and said, โ€œOh hey, yeah we had chem together right?โ€ Y/N nodded.ย 
โ€œIโ€™ll uh, see you next week?โ€ Steve said, turning back to her one more time.
โ€œUh, yeah. Yes.โ€ She took another puff. โ€œSee you next week.โ€
With one last wave, he climbed into the car, watching Y/N become a speck in the side-view mirror as they drove away.
โ€œSo,โ€ Robin began, โ€œYou finally talked to her?โ€
โ€œMore like she talked to me but, yeah,โ€ he responded.
โ€œSheโ€™s different from what I remember. Tougher, less open to people. I didnโ€™t know you were close.โ€
โ€œWe werenโ€™t.โ€
Watching as his house turned into view, all he could think about was seeing her the following week.
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โ€œWhy are we going to the other side of town again? Why canโ€™t we just go to the burger place down the street?โ€ Dustin asked, leaning forward from the backseat of Steveโ€™s car.ย 
โ€œItโ€™ll be fun!โ€ Robin said, arching her head to look back at him.ย 
โ€œWhatโ€™s the place called again?โ€ Lucas asked.ย 
โ€œGordyโ€™s,โ€ Mike responded. โ€œStupid if you ask me.โ€
Usually in these types of scenarios, Steve would be the one to call them on their bullshit. To be the babysitter that steps up to make things right. However, because of more recent events, instead of stepping up, he was slipping away.
Robin noticed almost instantly, jumping in to control the situation when her friend couldnโ€™t.ย 
โ€œHey!โ€ She shouted, cutting off the chatter from the back. โ€œYes, the diner is called Gordyโ€™s. Yes itโ€™s on the other side of town. And we are going because Max likes it and she used to go with her family. Right Max?โ€
โ€œY-yeah,โ€ Max spoke up from the back. โ€œItโ€™s pretty good, I think you guys would like it.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m excited,โ€ El said, getting an agreement from Will.ย 
Little chatter soon broke into more chaos, the kids talking over each other without a care in the world. Steve wanted to say something, his grip on the steering wheel tightening in an effort to stop feeling the anxiety running through his chest. But still, it was too much. He needed to focus on the road.ย 
โ€œSee? Elโ€™s excited,โ€ Robin chimed in again. โ€œQuit your yapping, we're almost there.โ€
Almost on cue, they turned into the Gordy's parking lot. Steve took a deep breath as the chatter in the back started to die down. He could almost hear his thoughts again, though he didnโ€™t know if that would be a good thing.ย 
As the kids began to pile out of the car, he felt Robinโ€™s hand on his shoulder.ย 
โ€œHey,โ€ she said. โ€œDeep breaths, remember? If it gets too bad, do that thing you learned okay? The 123 method.โ€
โ€œ54321 method,โ€ he corrected.ย 
โ€œYeah, the 54321 method.โ€ She watched as he nodded, taking another deep breath. โ€œHey,โ€ she willed him to look at her. โ€œYouโ€™re doing great. You ready to go in or do you need a minute?โ€
โ€œNo, Iโ€™m goodโ€ฆโ€ It wasnโ€™t until they were standing right outside the doors, the kids already packed into a booth that he spoke again. โ€œSorry about that, I canโ€™t control it sometimes-โ€
โ€œYou never have to explain yourself,โ€ she interrupted him, grabbing one of his hands. โ€œNever.โ€
Steve felt this warm haze travel through him, his chest expanding with what felt like a clean breath of air. Sometimes hearing that there was someone there for him was enough to keep him going. Squeezing her hand back, he motioned that he was ready.
It was easy to navigate to where the kids had decided to sit โ€“ noise only coming from one side of the diner. Of course, they were arguing. It was about some movie that had just come out though both of the older teens couldnโ€™t quite place which one.ย 
โ€œZip it!โ€ Steve shouted over them, standing at the edge of the diner booth. They all abruptly stopped to look at him. It was the first real words he had muttered all night. โ€œPick what you want to eat. Weโ€™re not spending an hour deciding like last time.โ€
Dustin smiled at his words. Sure, they were kinda mean, but when Steve got bitchy that meant he was alert.ย 
Sliding into the booth across from Robin, Steve picked up a menu. The options were like any other establishment, and the kids were quick to decide what they wanted. When it came down to it, their orders didnโ€™t really change much from diner to diner. It was the talking that made their visits longer. But Steve liked to mix it up from time to time, especially when eating with Robin - they often split meals.ย 
So when the waiter came over to take their orders, he was happy they didnโ€™t have to send the guy away. With El eager to get her waffles, she went first, Mike going straight after her. Steve guessed that meant he would be last. He took the moment he had to look around the diner Max had selected.ย 
It was nice, much nicer than the other places they had tried but that wasnโ€™t saying much. Midwest towns with small populations meant slow repairs. The floors looked a little wet but that was probably from the amount of people walking through with the recent storm. The coffee machine was out of order and by the looks of it, it had been that way for at least a month.
Besides that, not much was out of place. There was an elderly couple sitting at the counter top across the place. Slowly they traced their fingers along a spread out newspaper Steve had to guess was an attempt at the crossword puzzle. But his eyes slowly drifted away from the puzzle and onto the waitress putting down their food.ย 
It was Y/N. Blue apron, hair pulled back to not obscure her face.ย 
His breath hitched when he saw her. It was so unexpected, seeing her in a place like this. She looked so calm, almost happy. He hadnโ€™t seen her like that since their senior year. It made him wonder what had gone so wrong, what this โ€œGaryโ€ did to make her dropout of college. And even though he wouldnโ€™t find that answer tonight, he couldnโ€™t stop himself from staring at her.
As she smiled at her customers, her eyes scanned the diner.ย  Looking for more people to help, her eyes landed on him. There was some shock, the unexpectedness of seeing him, but she forced a smile on her face.ย 
โ€œSteve!โ€ย 
He was pulled out of his daze by Robin, motioning to the waiter standing before them.
โ€œW-what would you like to drink?โ€ the waiter asked again, though Steve swore he never heard him the first time.
โ€œUh, just water, thanks,โ€ he said sheepishly, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment.
The waiter, however, just nodded, walking over to where Y/N stood. Steve let his eyes follow him, watching the coworkers engage in conversation before Robin spoke again.
โ€œThatโ€™s her, right?โ€ she whispered, not wanting the kids to hear. He nodded. โ€œYou should go talk to her.โ€
He whipped his head around to look at her. โ€œWhat? No.โ€
โ€œWhy not?โ€
Because my anxiety will make me fuck up my sentences.
โ€œBecause sheโ€™s working,โ€ he said instead. โ€œI donโ€™t wanna interrupt her.โ€
โ€œPlease, itโ€™s so dead in here she would probably thank you.โ€
โ€œWho are you talking about?โ€ said Dustin, trying to worm his way into the conversation.
โ€œNo one,โ€ Steve said quickly. โ€œDo your maze.โ€
He looked down at the kids menu in front of him. โ€œIโ€™m not a child!โ€ he exclaimed.
โ€œMaybe, but you love those mazes.โ€
He took one look at Steve before back down at his menu. Sighing in defeat he said, โ€œOkay yeah I doโ€ฆโ€
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It was a new record. Almost an entire day without a panic attack. The food had arrived, the kids eating like it was their last meal on earth. Meanwhile Robin took the time to neatly split her and Steveโ€™s food in half, handing him one of the plates.
He smiled at her before diving in. Well, more like inching in. He didnโ€™t feel too hungry, despite not eating at all that day. That was the main reason for this little outing - to get him to eat food. But as the night went on and his food was still barely touched, he knew that something deeper was happening.ย 
Ever since he started therapy, he had been getting better at spotting anxiety and panic attacks, even preventing a few which he was proud of. But some would start for no reason, even if he was feeling better than he had all day. Something began to rise in his chest and he knew one was coming. Apparently, Robin did too.
Over the noise of the kids debating over some new comic book, Robin asked, โ€œAre you okay?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ Steve dismissed out of instinct. โ€œJust gonna go to the bathroom.โ€
He quickly stood up, not waiting for a response. The bathroom was unlocked thankfully and looked a little disgusting. Still, he had been in worst places. Staring at the faucet he cupped his hands, splashing water on his face.
Sometimes that helped, giving his body a wake up call it didnโ€™t know it needed. But unfortunately, it wasn't working. He felt his breaths become shorter, more labored. His heart felt like someone was squeezing it in their hands.ย 
He needed fresh air. Yeah, fresh air would help.
Exiting the bathroom, he was thankful to see there was a back door just a few feet away. Pushing through he was met with the cold crisp air of the back of the diner. There was some air conditioner blowing so loud he could barely hear his own thoughts.ย 
Picking what looked to be a clean wall, he sat down, trying to take deep breaths. His hands still shook, not slowing down despite his efforts. Nothing was working and he didnโ€™t know why. What had even caused this panic attack? There was nothing he was scared or really anxious about to warrant this level of panic.ย 
He tried to remember what Dr. Ackerman told him in one of their private sessions. Sometimes panic attacks donโ€™t need a reason for happening.ย 
โ€œHarrington?โ€
He willed himself to look up at who was calling his name. It was Y/N, a cigarette in her hand. Perfect, just great. This is exactly how he wanted her to see him.
โ€œOh, hey,โ€ he tried to say casually, trying to mask his attack. They could both tell it wasnโ€™t working.
โ€œAre you doing okay?โ€
He could tell it was more of a rhetorical question and he was too tired to lie. โ€œI- not really. I donโ€™t know what happened I just-โ€
โ€œHey itโ€™s okay,โ€ she interrupted him, crouching down to be at eye level with him. โ€œWe all get them okay?โ€
He nodded though his heart still felt like it was beating out of his chest. โ€œI-I canโ€™t stop it.โ€
โ€œHave you done the method yet?โ€ He shook his head. โ€œOkay,โ€ she continued, throwing her cigarette to the side before fully sitting down in front of him cross legged. โ€œLetโ€™s go through it, yeah?โ€
โ€œArenโ€™t you working?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m on my break. Donโ€™t worry about that, letโ€™s help you okay? Name five things you can see.โ€
โ€œO-okayโ€ฆโ€ he said, taking a deep breath. โ€œUm, my shoes, those plants ... .uh the-the ground. I can see the wall and- your eyes. Shit- sorry that was weird,โ€ he said, curling back into the wall.
โ€œNo, donโ€™t apologize,โ€ she told him, reaching out her hand to cover his. โ€œDescribe them to me. What do my eyes look like?โ€
He looked up at her - there was no hint of mockery in her face. โ€œWell, they're vibrant, theyโ€™re a couple of different shadesโ€ฆthey're beautiful.โ€
She smiled at him, not disgusted or annoyed, but genuine happiness. She chuckled, dropping her head for a moment, thanksโ€ฆ Now, letโ€™s continueโ€ฆโ€
They listed more things, following the method. With each concentration, the hold on his heart loosened more and more. He couldnโ€™t tell if the method was working or he just liked to be in her company. Whatever it was, it worked.ย 
As he listed off the taste of his meal, he felt like he could finally breathe. Sighing, he let his back hit the wall.ย 
โ€œThanks for that,โ€ he said, closing his eyes. He could still feel the pads of her fingers gently rubbing his hand.
She responded, not letting go. โ€œOf course, we have to look out for each other.โ€ In the distance, someone called her name. โ€œShit, my break is over. You think youโ€™ll be okay?โ€
โ€œYeah, I think so.โ€
Slowly she stood back up. โ€œI uh, guess Iโ€™ll see you this weekend.โ€ She gave a small wave, not waiting for a response as she scurried back inside for the remainder of her shift.ย 
As he watched her walk away, he felt the urge to call her back. Her presence, the way she calmed him down - it wasnโ€™t something he wanted to let go of. Begrudgingly, he stood up, knowing that his friends would be wondering where he was soon. He walked through the same back door, passing the bathroom before finding his friends still in the diner booth.
Robin spotted him first as he made his way over - it seemed like the others barely even noticed his absence. โ€œAre you okay? You look pale,โ€ she asked.ย 
Usually he would lie, say he was fine and tough through his emotions. But as Dr. Ackerman and later Robin told him, he needed to be more honest with his well being.
โ€œI donโ€™t think so. Could we skip the ice cream run tonight?โ€
โ€œOf course, yeah. Letโ€™s get going, I already paid for the food.โ€ She turned to the kids. โ€œAlright, letโ€™s get you guys home.โ€
โ€œWhat about ice cream?โ€ Dustin asked, followed by overlapping replies from the rest of the kids.
โ€œNot tonight. Maybe next week.โ€
With solemn looks on their faces, the kids slowly climbed out of the diner booth, ready to pile back into the car. Steve watched as Robin unlocked the door, letting them all climb in. While doing so, he turned back, hoping to catch Y/N one more time.
She emerged from the back with two plates of food, locking eyes with him. She gave him a smile and he already felt a million times better. Nodding at her with a grin, she knew he meant it as a thank you.
Turning around, he made his way to the car, hoping that another attack wouldnโ€™t happen when she wasnโ€™t there.
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For the first time since starting therapy, Steve Harrington could say he was satisfied with his progress. He had another panic attack later that week and was able to not only realize the source of it, but calm himself down in record time. Well, record time for him, at least.ย 
Leaving Dr. Ackermanโ€™s office, he waved goodbye to the other patients before making a b-line to the bathrooms. His bladder was not happy about the wait.ย  After relieving himself, he opened the door to leave.ย 
โ€œDo you usually hang out with that many kids?โ€
โ€œGah!โ€ Steve jumped, not knowing that Y/N was standing outside smoking a cigarette like she was usually seen. โ€œJeez, you scared me.โ€
He began to walk to the building exit, her joining at his side. โ€œSorry, but you gotta answer the question, Harrington. Itโ€™s been bugging me since I saw you.โ€
Pushing open the exit doors, he said, โ€œUh theyโ€™re my friends so, yeah I usually hang out with them.โ€ย 
โ€œBut children?โ€
โ€œThey arenโ€™t random children, okay? But yeah, they're who Iโ€™m close with,โ€ he shrugged. โ€œProbably my only friends if Iโ€™m being honest.โ€
โ€œHuhโ€ฆโ€ Y/N replied, taking a long drag of her cig. โ€œThatโ€™s fucking weird, Harrington. Did you and your girlfriend adopt them or something?โ€
He cocked his head. โ€œGirlfriend?โ€
โ€œYeah, Buckley... Sorry, I just assumed-โ€
โ€œOh,โ€ he replied with realization. โ€œBuckley, no weโ€™re just friends. Sheโ€™s practically my sister.โ€ย 
โ€œOh okay, cool.โ€ She took another puff.
โ€œDo you ever think about quitting? Itโ€™s a nasty habit.โ€
โ€œYeah well, what else do I have to do?โ€
โ€œGo out with me?โ€ She turned sharply to glare at him, her eyes going wide. โ€œNot like go out with me. Shit, I said that wrong- Hangout. I meant hangout with me. As friends!โ€
She still looked frozen, giving him a look he couldnโ€™t quite read. Was that happiness? Distast? Maybe she didnโ€™t want to try being friends with him.
โ€œI wanna see you outside of therapy and your work ya know?โ€ he explained, trying not to dig himself into a deeper hole. โ€œTo not listen to Matt re-explain every class he has. I mean like, weโ€™re not the ones in school.โ€
She laughed at that, probably understanding what he meant. Next to them, a car pulled up to the curb. It wasnโ€™t Robin.ย 
โ€œThatโ€™s my dad,โ€ she responded softly, walking over to the car. She turned to open the passenger door but paused and looked back at him. โ€œMeet me at the Hideout at 7? Saturday?โ€
Steve couldnโ€™t stop himself from smiling. โ€œIโ€™ll be there.โ€
She gave him one last look before climbing into the car, driving away. The smile was still plastered on Steveโ€™s face and he couldnโ€™t help but think that this friendship was the beginning of his new life. One where the Upside Down didnโ€™t haunt his dreams, or where he didnโ€™t fight any demogorgons. One where he could leave that all behind.ย 
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The Hideout. It sounded familiar but Steve couldnโ€™t place why he knew it. Even as he walked into the place, he knew he had never been there before.ย 
It was very grungy. The floors looked like they needed a deep cleaning and the walls were covered head to toe in band posters. A bar sat on the left side of the room, perfectly out of the way of the stage on the back wall.ย 
Walking in, Steve opted to stand next to a high table, no chairs in sight. He figured it was just a place for people to set down their drinks. Alcohol, however, did not feel the right call. He wanted to stay alert for his first hangout with Y/N.ย 
As his eyes drifted across the stage, he watched a band set up their equipment. There were only four of them. A drummer, bassist, guitarist, and a rhythm guitarist. It was probably some local band he had never heard of - he didnโ€™t really keep up with current music.
But as he looked closer, he realized that they were familiar. The guy on rhythm guitar, he had seen him before. A math class? Was that it? Slowly, it started to come to him.
This was Eddieโ€™s band.
The room felt like it became a million times hotter as Steve began to sweat. His heart thumping faster than normal. He needed to stay calm, he needed to control his panic.ย 
Since Eddie died, he tried to stay away from all things related to the guy. Instead of sitting in on the last few minutes of Dustinโ€™s dnd games, heโ€™d wait in the car. Instead of surfing any radio channel, he made sure to skip the metal station. But there was no skipping tonight.
He recognized three of the members but there was one that was new. He had shorter hair, a lanky build and a tattoo peeking out from under the arm of his t-shirt. He didnโ€™t look familiar - not someone he went to school with. But then it dawned on him.
He was Eddieโ€™s replacement. Before he even had time to process that information, he felt a small hand on his back, a presence next to him.ย 
โ€œHey, you made it,โ€ Y/N said with a smile on her face. He hadnโ€™t seen her smile like that in a long time.
โ€œW-whata- whatโ€ฆโ€ It was like he couldnโ€™t speak, the image of Eddieโ€™s band moving on without him still in his mind. โ€œW-why did you bring me here?โ€ he finally got out.
Y/N furrowed her brows. โ€œTo see Corroded Coffin?โ€ she responded, not really understanding what he meant. โ€œI thought it would be fun, my brother said theyโ€™re playing a new song tonight.โ€
He furrowed his eyebrows. โ€œBrother?โ€
โ€œYeahโ€ฆ Gareth? On the drums? I thought you remembered.โ€ย 
No, he didnโ€™t remember. He turned back to the band setting up. Gareth was putting down the hi-hat to complete his drum set.ย 
Trying to stay calm, he said, โ€œOh coolโ€ฆdid uh, did you know Eddie too?โ€
Her face dropped slightly at the mention of his name. โ€œYeah, I did. He was a good guy.โ€ All he could do was nod, taking a deep breath in. He felt her arm wrap around his. โ€œEverythingโ€™s gonna be fine. Iโ€™m sorry I shouldโ€™ve told you why we were here.โ€
โ€œNo itโ€™s okay. Itโ€™s like exposure therapy.โ€
She chuckled, leaning her head on his shoulder. โ€œSure.โ€
It didnโ€™t take long for them to start, the music blaring out of speakers that were too loud for the room they were in. The new guy, in place of Eddie, was singing and Steve had to admit it wasnโ€™t bad. His heart still ached at the thought of the band having to replace their star singer. They all looked like really close friends back in school.ย 
They played a couple songs, and Y/N pointed out the new one that her brother had mentioned. It was good, or better than he would have thought. Steve didnโ€™t know how much he actually liked metal music but if he had to listen to any it would be this.ย 
But he wasnโ€™t really focused on the music, more of the person standing next to him. He tried not to stare but she was so memorizing. Singing along to the songs she knew, bobbing her head to the ones she didnโ€™t. It was nice seeing her outside the context of therapy. He also wasnโ€™t complaining that her arm was still wrapped around his for a majority of the night.
As the new lead singer thanked the small crowd, leaving as they cheered, Steve felt Y/N tug his arm.
โ€œCome on, letโ€™s go say hello,โ€ she said, pulling him through the crowd.
โ€œS-say hello?โ€ he asked. โ€œLike to the band?โ€
โ€œDuh,โ€ she replied, waving at a bouncer guarding the backstage door. โ€œWe arenโ€™t gonna see my brother perform and then leave.โ€
The corridor backstage was busier than he thought it would be. The bar was small but it sure didnโ€™t feel like that. People were walking up and down, some running like it was Madison Square Garden. He couldnโ€™t tell who worked there, performed, or were just groupies stopping by.ย 
Turning right, they were met face to face with the green room, a written sign saying Corroded Coffin taped to the door. Y/N smiled at him before she reached for the handle, turning it to reveal a very hectic room.
The band members were just chatting but it sounded like shouting. It all halted when they walked in.ย 
โ€œY/N!โ€ Garrett exclaimed, running over to hug her.
โ€œYou did great tonight, honestly all of you did,โ€ she told him.
โ€œAnd the new song?โ€
โ€œBetter than I couldโ€™ve imagined.โ€
Garret turned to look at Steve, his expression changing to something of confusion. โ€œWhat is he doing here?โ€
โ€œYou brought Steve Harrington?โ€ Jeff, the rhythm guitarist, chimed in.
Y/N turned to look at Steve confused. โ€œI thought you said you knew Eddie?โ€ย 
โ€œI-I did,โ€ he told her, suddenly aware of how many eyes were staring at him. He looked around the room quickly before back at her. โ€œI- just not with his usual crowdโ€ฆโ€
The band continued to give him a blank stare.
โ€œI know Dustin, Lucas, and Mike? I know you used to play dnd together,โ€ he added.
Grant, the bassist, crossed his arms. โ€œYou know Henderson?โ€ he asked.ย 
Steve nodded. โ€œHeโ€™s like a little brother to me.โ€
They stared in silence at him and what was probably five seconds felt like eternity. It wasnโ€™t until Jeff shrugged and spoke up that Steve realized his heart rate was quickening.ย 
โ€œI guess you're okay then,โ€ Jeff said, โ€œAs long as you donโ€™t try to shove us into lockers.โ€
If Jeff didnโ€™t chuckled he would have if he was serious. His laugh rippled throughout the room, breaking the tension and it was like life started again. Joints were lit, drinks were poured, and Steveโ€™s past was left forgotten.
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โ€œCan I ask you something?โ€ Steve asked. He walked next to Y/N in the cold, night air, the only sound audible coming from the shuffling of their shoes.ย 
โ€œSure,โ€ she said, reaching into her pocket to grab a cigarette.
โ€œThat first time we talked, like at Dr Ackermanโ€™sโ€ฆyou mentioned someone named Gary.โ€ He felt her stiffen next to him, a slight stutter in her step. โ€œWho was he?โ€
Dropping her head to the unlit cigarette, she decided to shove it back into her pocket. He instantly regretted asking.ย 
Apologizing, he said, โ€œIโ€™m sorry I shouldnโ€™t have asked.โ€
โ€œNo, itโ€™s okayโ€ฆโ€ she waved off. โ€œExposure therapy, right?โ€ she said, repeating his words from earlier in the night, letting him know it was okay. โ€œGary was my neighbor in my freshman year dorms. We hit it off really quick and started to date.โ€
She looked at the ground as she talked, hands shoved into her pockets. Steve however, couldnโ€™t take his gaze off her.ย 
โ€œHe was fine, uh, a good boyfriend. Well, at firstโ€ฆโ€ she took a pause, almost long enough that he was thinking he should say something.
Luckily, she continued. โ€œHe stumbled into my room really drunk one nightโ€ฆtried to take advantage of me.โ€ She shrugged, actually shrugged, like what she just told him was nothing. โ€œI pushed him off me and he went blabbing to everyone that I was an attention seeking whore. All my friends stopped talking to me, even my roommateโ€ฆand the administration wouldnโ€™t do anything about it even though he, you knowโ€ฆโ€
She trailed off as she kicked a rock with her shoe and Steve could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. How could someone, anyone, do that sort of thing? Not even when he was considered King Steve would he force himself onto a girl.ย 
Y/N sighed. โ€œIt was like high school was repeating itself, you know? I didnโ€™t get to have my fresh start.โ€
He nodded, trying to understand what she went through. They never ran in the same circles in high school, but it was hard not to hear the rumors going around about who she was sleeping with. He assumed Billy was the one to start them and let it be. Looking back, he wished he had stood up for her.ย 
โ€œIt sucks,โ€ he began warily, not knowing if it was okay to speak. When she looked up at him, it gave him the courage to continue. โ€œWhen other people decide who they think you are. I-I mean, I didnโ€™t go through that but I do have problems with the way people perceive me, my reputation.โ€
โ€œI-I mean thatโ€™s when all my panic attacks started I just- I couldnโ€™t stay there. Itโ€™s so stupidโ€ฆโ€
โ€œItโ€™s not!โ€ Steve reassured her. โ€œNot stupid in the slightest. I would have left too if it were me. I mean, I didnโ€™t even get into college. There was nowhere for me to run.โ€ The more he began to speak of his own problems, the more anxious he became. โ€œNot that what I went through was worse than you, Iโ€™m sorry I didnโ€™t mean to turn the conversation on to me-โ€
โ€œ-No, Steve, itโ€™s okay. I get it, youโ€™re just trying to relate to me.โ€ He nodded - it was like she took the words right out of his mouth. โ€œCould we go back to yours? If I remember those high school parties correctly, you have a pool.โ€
โ€œSure. Y-yeah cool,โ€ he blubbered. He couldnโ€™t remember the last time talking to a girl made him anxious like this. Trying to catch his cool, they headed toward Loch Nora.ย 
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โ€œThe back door should be unlocked,โ€ Steve informed Y/N as they approached his house.ย 
It wasnโ€™t a far walk from the bus stop they got off on and he could still see his car parked in the driveway - but only his car. Robin had told him ahead of time that she was going to sleep at her own home for once that week - her parents wanting to see more of her.
โ€œWow, itโ€™s exactly how I remembered it,โ€ Y/N commented as he opened the back gate.
He looked back at her. โ€œYou remember what my house looks like?โ€
Shrugging, she said, โ€œLike I said, I went to a couple of your parties.โ€ The poolโ€™s lights illuminated the otherwise dark backyard, steam rising from its surface. โ€œNow this is what Iโ€™m talking about.โ€
Without warning, Y/N pulled her shirt off, moving to pull down her pants. Steveโ€™s eyes went wide, turning around to give her privacy. โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€
โ€œGetting in your pool? I donโ€™t know about you, Harrington, but I donโ€™t carry a bathing suit with me.โ€
โ€œI guessโ€ฆโ€ Steve said, suddenly unsure of their plan.ย 
It was just like a bikini right? Only it felt so much more intimate. He heard a splash from behind him, a gasp as she rose to the surface for air.ย 
โ€œYou coming in?โ€
Slowly he turned around facing her as she grazed her hands over the surface of the water. She looked so majestic with her hair slicked back. He felt like deer in headlights as he looked at her. He could go inside, grab one of the many swimming trunks he had in his closet. But instead, he opted to strip down to his boxers, leveling the playing field.ย 
He could tell she was surprised, not thinking he would do the same thing as her. But nonetheless he jumped right in. The splash completely covered her but she didnโ€™t seem to mind, already dunking her head moments before. When he rose to the surface, he inhaled deeply.ย 
โ€œHey!โ€ She exclaimed, wiping water from her eyes.ย 
โ€œYou were already wet!โ€ He retorted.
Without warning, she lunged herself at him. Steve felt as she collided with his chest, sending him falling back into the water, taking her with him. He barely had enough time to breathe before he felt himself submerged back under the surface. On instinct, an arm wrapped around her midsection, balancing her against him as he used his legs to push them back up for air.
Breaking the surface tension, he felt Y/N cling to him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she tried to balance against his bent knee. They were both gasping for air, taking a moment to recover. But the moment she looked up at him, those beautiful eyes he stared into at the diner, it was like a damn broke.ย 
She smiled, letting out a giggle and he too couldnโ€™t keep a straight face. As her face buried in his neck he asked, โ€œWhat was that for?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know, it looked like you needed to have fun,โ€ she responded.ย 
โ€œSo you pushed me.โ€
Y/N lifted her head from his neck, her hands still around his neck. โ€œYouโ€™re a very pushable person.โ€
โ€œOh am I?โ€
โ€œDefinitely.โ€ She giggled, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. โ€œI could stay like this forever.โ€
Steve smiled, his cheeks getting warmer. โ€œMe too. Itโ€™s like a little pocket out of time. We donโ€™t have to think about the future.โ€
โ€œOr the pastโ€ฆโ€ She was silent for a second, her fingers still moving and Steve tried his best to stay still. A beautiful girl was practically sitting on his lap and he was trying to hard to not fuck it up.ย 
โ€œThat first session, you talked about all the loss youโ€™ve been around. Is there a reason for that?โ€
โ€œInterdimensional monsters,โ€ he blurted out. It felt good to say the truth even if it was met with a laugh. Who would believe in another dimension anyway?
โ€œFine donโ€™t tell me,โ€ she said, letting her hands rest on his shoulders.ย 
The cool touch of her fingers spread across him, down through his chest. It was hard to stop thinking about how little fabric separated them, especially with the way her fingers grazed his skin.
For a moment he almost swore she looked down at his lips. โ€œI betโ€ฆโ€ she began, tilting her head back to show her thinking. โ€œThat you have daddy issues.โ€
โ€œWho doesnโ€™t?โ€
She giggled, her forehead tipping forward, almost touching his. A piece of hair fell across her face and without thinking he reached up to brush it away. Y/N looked up at him, their eyes meeting as he softly pushed the strand behind her ear.ย 
This time, he knew for certain, she had looked at his lips, right after he did the same.
The little space left between them closed as Y/N leaned forward, capturing his mouth. It was softer than he would had thought. Her rough exterior not matching her tender touch. He felt her arms wrap back around him, fingers gripping his hair. He let out a moan, tightening the grip he had on her waist.
She pulled back for a moment, only to tilt her head to the other side, her lips crashing back down on his. A small whimper let out from her mouth and Steve felt like he died and went to heaven. He wanted to hear it again, to be the only one that made her sound that way. It was intoxicating, like a vampire thirsting for blood.ย 
He let his kisses trail down her cheek, reattaching himself to her throat. She moaned even louder and he never wanted to let go.ย 
โ€œThat feels nice,โ€ she said, breathlessly. The grip on his hair grew tighter but he didnโ€™t mind. She could poke, pull, or prod, any part of him and he would let her.
โ€œYou feel nice.โ€
Without meaning too, she pressed down on his lap. And even through their underwear and the water of the pool, Steve felt ecstatic. He detached himself from her neck gasping at the pressure.ย 
โ€œJesus Christ,โ€ he murmured to himself but it might have been louder than he expected.ย 
Y/N looked up at him with a smile. But as her eyes found his, Steve was confused as to why it started to vanish. Detaching herself from him, he watched as she floated away until her back hit the pool wall.ย 
Something was wrong, he just knew it. Was it something he did or said? Was it the kiss?
โ€œI should probably go,โ€ she told him, pulling herself out of the pool.ย 
โ€œOh,โ€ he said in surprise. Why the rush to leave so quickly? โ€œOkayโ€ฆโ€
As he joined her by the lounging chairs, he watched as she tried to put a leg through her pants.ย 
โ€œWait,โ€ he stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him before straightening her back. โ€œDonโ€™t put your clothes over your wet ones.โ€
โ€œHow else would I-โ€œ
He interrupted her, knowing if he didnโ€™t say what was in his mind heโ€™d lose the courage to say it.ย 
โ€œ-you can stay. Like, stay over?โ€
Why was he this nervous? He had plenty of girls over before. But with her, things felt different. Y/N raised her eyebrows at his comment.ย 
โ€œIf you want to,โ€ he rushed out to say. โ€œYou could take a shower, I could dry your clothes and-โ€œ
โ€œOkay,โ€ she spoke over him.ย 
It felt like all the air left his body. โ€œYeah?โ€ He asked again for reassurance. Slowly she nodded, a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. โ€œOkay yeah. Cool, umโ€ฆthis way.โ€
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Steveโ€™s hands twitched nervously as he sat on his bed. Y/N was in the shower, due to come out any minute. It wasnโ€™t like he hadnโ€™t had a girl over before. Just that the last person to sleep in his bed broke his heart. They had shared a space, gotten warm together under his blankets, baked in the morning sun. It held more meaning to him than he realized before.
As he clutched his hands, trying to calm himself down, the door creaked open. He looked up, watching as Y/N hesitantly peered in. As soon as he saw her face, it was like there was a calm that washed over him. The idea of having someone sleep in his bed filled him with anxiety, but when he saw Y/N it all faded away. He wanted her next to him, he wanted to share his space with her.ย 
Closing the door behind her, Y/N stood awkwardly across the room. But Steve couldnโ€™t help but smile. She looked so cute in his clothes, the fabric clinging to her skin in ways that left little to the imagination.ย 
โ€œI left the towel in the laundry room,โ€ she said. โ€œI hope that was okay.โ€ย 
โ€œYeah,โ€ he said quickly, being pulled from his thoughts. โ€œYup thatโ€™s okay. I already started the load on drying your clothes.โ€ย 
โ€œCool,โ€ she said, intertwining her fingers in front of her.ย 
Steve motioned to his bed. โ€œDo you prefer a side or-โ€
She shook her head. โ€œNope. I-Iโ€™m fine with either.โ€
Steve hummed an agreement, moving to take the ride side of the bed. He watched her join on the other side as he pushed the covers back. They both had romantic experiences; both sleeping with someone else in their bed. But in the moment, it felt like they were little kids again.
Steve carefully covered both of them, sinking back down into his mattress. He tried not to touch her, to give her space after what happened in the pool. And with her past, he didnโ€™t want to make her uncomfortable. Starting at the ceiling he heard Y/N sigh. Turning his head he could see her covering her face.
โ€œAre you okay?โ€ He asked, turning to face her. โ€œD-do you want to sleep in my parents room? Theyโ€™re not home-โ€
โ€œNo, this is perfectly fine just,โ€ she dropped her hands onto her chest as she stared up, not meeting his gaze. He could see her eyes getting watery, a tear on the verge of falling. โ€œI-I donโ€™t wanna do anything with you like- sexually. And Iโ€™m sorry if thatโ€™s blunt but after everything with Gary-โ€
โ€œHey, itโ€™s okay,โ€ he reassured her to try and show her this was a safe space. โ€œI wasnโ€™t expecting to, honestly.โ€
She turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. โ€œReally?โ€ she asked, not convinced.ย 
โ€œReally,โ€ he replied. โ€œI havenโ€™t really been the same since Nance and I broke up and- nevermind itโ€™s not important. I could leave if this is too much.โ€
โ€œNo I want you here I really do Iโ€™m justโ€ฆconfused. I donโ€™t know.โ€ย 
She buried her head in her hands again, probably to stop him from seeing her start to cry. Steve ached for her. To see her like this, to know that this was the fault of another person. That a person could do that to someone else.ย 
โ€œIโ€™ll sleep on the floor,โ€ he told her, moving the comforter aside. โ€œThat way we wonโ€™t be alone but we can have our space.โ€
She looked back at him, her cheeks wet with tears. โ€œNo, I don't wanna make you sleep on the floor in your own room.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s nothing really,โ€ he dismissed, grabbing his pillow and a spare blanket that was thrown across his desk chair. โ€œTrust me, Iโ€™ve slept in worse places than on a rugged floor.โ€
โ€œIf I wasnโ€™t a mess right now Iโ€™d ask you to elaborate.โ€
He fluffed his pillow, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. Y/N peered over the bed, still unsure of the sleeping arrangement though he could tell it was putting her more at ease.ย 
โ€œA conversation for another time,โ€ he said and he swore he could see a smile on his face.
โ€œOkay,โ€ she said softly, her head disappearing as she laid back down on the bed.ย 
There was silence for a moment and Steve thought that she had fallen asleep. But her soft voice glided through the air.ย 
โ€œSteve?โ€ she asked.
โ€œYeah?โ€
There was another beat. Another moment of silence before he heard her whisper, โ€œThank you.โ€
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Even on the floor of his room, the sun found a way to shine on his face. The warm light slowly woke him up, making him rub his eyes in an attempt to not blind himself. He almost forgot he was on the floor of his room until he rolled over to open his nightside drawer, feeling his hand brush against the floor instead.ย 
As his eyes came into focus, he willed himself to sit up. Why was he on the floor again? Right, Y/N. Beautiful Y/N who should be asleep on his bed. But as he leaned his head up to see over the edge of the mattress, he was met with an empty bed. The covers were made neatly, all pillows back in place, as if no one had even slept there the night before.ย 
Steve rubbed his eyes, like if he cleared himself from his sleepy haze she would materialize in his room. But as his eyes began to focus again, he found he was still alone. Grunting, he stood up, pulling the pillow and blanket he had used with him. He looked around the room and it seemed that nothing was out of place.
Did he imagine last night? Did he feel so alone that he willed himself to believe that Y/N actually slept over? His eyes continued to scan for anything out of place, a breath of relief when they landed on his dresser.
The clothes he had lent her were neatly stacked on his desk and if he had to guess, her drying clothes in the laundry room would be gone. So he hadnโ€™t imagined it. What happened? Why was she in such a rush to leave?
Maybe she regretted the night before, thinking he hadnโ€™t changed since his days at King Steve. Perhaps the kiss was too much and she regretted it. Steveโ€™s mind spiraled down a dark hole he knew too well. If he didnโ€™t stop now, he would trigger another panic attack.
Taking a moment before getting ready for the day, he sat down on his bed, closing his eyes. He just needed to breathe. In and out, in and out. Over and over again he focused on his breath, letting all his energy go into calming himself down.
He needed to talk to Y/N. To clarify everything from last night before it ate away at him.ย 
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Steve drove himself to therapy the following week. Partly because Robin was still back at her parents, and partly because he needed more time to think. As the time of the group session approached, he felt his heart rate begin to rise. His thoughts raced faster than they did when he woke up to find her gone.
He just needed to get there. Seeing her would calm him, reassure him that he didnโ€™t fuck up. But as he parked his car and raced inside, he was saddened to find that she wasnโ€™t there. Maybe she was just late. She had been late in the past, it was logical to assume she could be late today.ย 
Matt and Sam had tried to talk to him but he only politely nodded as they spoke. His tongue felt too heavy in his mouth. Like lifting it to speak would only result in incoherent babbling. Thankfully, Dr. Ackermanโ€™s presence let him stay silent.ย 
The session began and Steve found himself staring at the door. He nodded, giving short answers when required but his attention was still trained on the closed door. She had to walk through the door. To join their weekly sessions. But as the topic drifted from one person to another, Y/N never arrived.ย 
Steve was quick to leave, rushing to the parking lot to see if she had missed the session and was just arriving. To his disappointment, she wasnโ€™t there. Not even a lingering smell of cigarettes in the air from her usual smoking spot.ย 
He arrived early for the next session, and the next, and soon a whole month went by without her attending. Every session his eyes stayed on the door, willing her to walk through. Maybe if he was like Eleven, telepathically gifted, he could find out where she was. No, he thought. Even with those powers, it would be an invasion of privacy. And he didnโ€™t want to be where he wasnโ€™t welcomed.ย 
Robin had been spending more and more time with her parents to figure out packing for the fall semester so Steve had been driving himself more often in Y/Nโ€™s absence.
Another missed therapy session had him driving home in silence, not even the radio playing to fill the void. His fingers tapped against the steering wheel in an irregular pattern as he turned onto his street. Slowly, his house came into view and he could see the vague outline of someone sitting on the front steps.ย 
Thatโ€™s weird, he thought to himself. Robin had a key, most people in the party did for emergencies. So why was she waiting outside?
As he pulled closer, almost fully into the driveway, his eyes adjusted. It wasnโ€™t Robin, or anyone he had fought monsters with. It was Y/N.ย 
Y/N, smoking a cigarette as she patiently waited for him to come home. He felt himself falter, his foot almost slamming on the brakes. She was here, more beautiful than the last time he saw her โ€“ though it was pretty hard for her to look anything but perfect.ย 
The engine revved as he pulled into the driveway, pulling Y/Nโ€™s attention to him. Quickly, she stood up, putting her cigarette out with the heel of her shoe. Steve felt glued to the inside of the car. Their eyes had met, not separating as he put in the car in park. All he wanted was to get out and speak to her. But something in his chest tightened. If she had been avoiding him for the past week, she had her reasons. And part of him didnโ€™t want to know for certain he was the problem.
He tried to move, he truly did. But his anxiety was ruling over his brain and he didnโ€™t know how to stop it. Thankfully, Y/N seemed to notice. Moving forward, she opened his passenger door and climbed in. He never took his eyes off her, even when she turned her back to close the door.ย 
Turning back to him, she weakly said, โ€œHey.โ€
โ€œH-hi,โ€ he managed to blurt out. Silence hung in the air, as he figured out what to say. Y/N continued to speak. โ€œSorry to show up at your house, I didnโ€™t mean to be a bother.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re not a bother,โ€ he blurted out. โ€œY-youโ€™re never a bother.โ€
He was looking directly into her eyes, his gaze never wavering. It didnโ€™t break until Y/N looked down at her lap and he could have sworn he saw a small smile form on her lips. A moment passed, then two, and neither of them talked.ย 
Despite being uncomfortable with long silences, Steve didnโ€™t seem to mind. He didnโ€™t feel like his social battery drained when he was around her. If anything, she made him feel more alive. She knew what he was going through, one of the best kept secrets in his life and she knew.ย 
โ€œI missed you,โ€ she said softly, still looking down at her lap.
โ€œIโ€™ve missed you tooโ€ฆLouise keeps talking about her one night stands and I donโ€™t think I can take any more of it,โ€ he said, gaining back some composure from earlier.
Y/N laughed, her shoulders hunching forward. She looked back up at him, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of his. As the smile slowly faded from her face, her eyes remained on his. It was clear she wanted to talk about what happened. Maybe she just needed a push.
โ€œDo youโ€ฆwanna talk about it?โ€ Steve asked.ย 
She shook her head slightly. โ€œI donโ€™t know itโ€™s just โ€“ when I woke up in your room, my mind immediately went back to Gary.โ€ She paused for a moment and he let her gather her thoughts. โ€œI just went into a spiral like I did with him. Like did I force you to kiss me? Did you really want me sleeping in your bed or did I coerce you to? What would people think if they see the town whore sleeping with the former king of Hawkins High just โ€“ itโ€™s stupid, Iโ€™m sorry.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not stupid,โ€ he said immediately, reaching his hands out on the center console. He didnโ€™t want to touch her without asking, but wanted to let her know he was there if she needed to. He sighed.ย 
โ€œI didnโ€™t expect to kiss you that night,โ€ he continued. She looked up at him, biting the inside of her cheek. โ€œBut that didnโ€™t mean I didnโ€™t want you to. You in no way forced me to kiss youโ€ฆand I was the one who wanted you to stay. I-I shouldโ€™ve been more vocal so you didnโ€™t feel forced to.โ€
Y/N nodded, leaning forward with her hands on the center console, not quite touching his.ย 
โ€œIf you want to keep seeing me, friend or something more, I promise I will walk you through everything thought in my head so weโ€™re on the same page.โ€
She raised an eyebrow, some color coming back to her face. โ€œEvery thought?โ€
He nodded. โ€œOh for sure. Like how Iโ€™ve been craving a ham and cheese sandwich since I woke up this morning.โ€ She giggled again at his obvious attempt to make her feel better. โ€œAnd like how Iโ€™d really like to hold your hand right now.โ€
He stared at her in his car, the sun slowly setting outside, and felt the touch of her fingers against his. It felt like an immediate release, a tightness he didnโ€™t know was there unfolding in his chest.ย 
โ€œI would like to keep seeing you too,โ€ she told him, and it was like his heart was doing a million leaps of joy. โ€œI donโ€™t know if I can handle anything more right now,โ€
โ€œ-and that is completely fine with me,โ€ he reassured her quickly, feeling a tight squeeze of reassurance in his hand.
โ€œThank you for understanding. In the future, if Iโ€™m readyโ€ฆIโ€™d like to explore that possibility with you.โ€
Steve gave her a big grin, not trying to hide what he was feeling. โ€œGood, uh, thatโ€™s good to know.โ€
They sat in his car, hands intertwined like the rest of the world didnโ€™t matter. Like their pasts and reputations didnโ€™t haunt them like a shadow. For now, they had each other and that was all they could ask for.ย 
Steve didnโ€™t need some fancy school or big corporate job. Just someone who understood him, who knew what it was like to feel the things he felt and not be judged.ย 
He was happy he finally found someone who did just that.
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