sunsets-and-coffeestains

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this next song is called “i know my feelings are important but ive been abused my entire life and dont know how to express them without dismissing them”. i hope you like it. *screams*

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Compassionate Confrontation

In addressing conflict and considering confrontation, the best way to deal with other people is to be mindful, present, and compassionate in your interactions.

Try to see things from the other person’s point of view. When they speak, listen. When they have said what they need to say, before you respond, imagine how the situation is hurting them. See if what you need to say will add to their pain or ease it. If you are suffering too much to imagine the other person’s pain, then connect with your own feelings of hurt. See if you are angry. If you are hurt and angry, confrontations can be explosive. Be careful.

Pausing to recognize how you feel gives you the opportunity to take in what the other person said. Thinking about how they are feeling, gives you the opportunity to empathize and imagine the situation from their perspective. Seeing things from another person’s perspective gets you outside of your own head. Like looking at the clouds in the sky, it helps you focus outward. Listening and empathizing helps you be both present and compassionate. If you are hurt and angry, pausing allows you to be more skillful in your confrontation.

Being able to recognize the truth in what other people are saying, seeing how they are right and you are wrong, gives you insight into your own position. If you need to convince the other person how you are right and they are wrong, then understanding where they are wrong and right helps you focus your argument in a way they might better understand.

Being present and compassionate in your interactions with people gives you options about what the best way to respond might be. Having options and taking the time to reflect on options lets you connect with your wisdom and make the best choice. In the next moment, see how that choice went over and make your next choice. If you are skillfully compassionate, whether confronting or agreeing, the suffering in the situation will ease.

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Yeah they’re cute, but do they:

Respect you?

Do they value you?

Are they capable of deep empathy and communication?

Do they seek to understand?

Do they love themselves?

Are they a positive influence on your life?

Do they support you and your decisions?

Do they take actions to show they care?

Would they stick by your side during a crisis?

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people forget that splitting happens both ways: split to all bad or split to all good. it keeps borderlines in bad relationships because we split on people not only when they are bad but when they are good too and it causes us to forgive what could be genuinely bad behavior because suddenly they are good in our eyes again.

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Do I Just Not Care or Am I Dissociating Myself from all My Feelings Again: a novel by me

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BPD diaries

Being borderline feels like you have two people inside of you. You shoved all of the trauma and abuse into one corner of yourself for so long that it metastasized and grew until it took over half of you. And now you’re constantly at war with this creature that you hate, yet that you can’t help but feel compassion for; that monster inside of you… you know it’s only a product of all of the pain you fed it.

Being borderline… feels like having two souls. One is genuine and kind and so, so loving. The other is malicious and cruel and so, so hateful. But a body doesn’t have enough room for two souls, and you can never decide which is yours.

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— Jenny Slate, Little Weirds

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If you're using gen AI because "you want to make art but don't know how/can't learn/it's easier/whatever"

You don't want to make art.

You want someone to make art for you, but you don't want to pay or exchange anything of equal value for it, and also you want it right now, in whatever style you fancy that moment, and in whatever quantity you want. You're greedy and entitled and it is just that simple. You don't want to make anything.

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Exam aisa banao ki 4 log preparation karein and 2 hi zinda bache.

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study tips i made instead of studying

first and foremost, do as i say not as i do (as in don't post study tips on tumblr when you have seven tests to study for)

make it aesthetic, that's always super motivating. put a playlist in the background like the "you're a princess researching about your mother while trying to overthrow your father" or "solving a mystery in your elite boarding school" or "studying in a library with the ghosts" (look them up they're good god knows i'm too lazy to link them) also mcu soundtracks help me so much!!

pretty notes!!

DRINK WATER (go now fr or i'm going to find you)

something i like to do is keep a big cup of water next to me and force myself to sit and study until it's empty

open windows!!! wind helps me focus personally

pretend you're studying in hogwarts or in the dead poets society or something. imagination is very powerful

snacks!!!!!!

more snacks!!!!!!!!!!

get interested in what you're studying. like fr. stuff we learn in school is amazing af like what do you mean we found out the universe is expanding through red-shift??? ok i know this is very nerdy of me but it's cool af. BE NERDY.

take breaks <3 always

pretend you have a rival you need to destroy (if you have one that's even better, personally me and my rival sometimes study in the same room to motivate each other just by glaring at each other from across the room)(side note: this could also be his method of flirting i will never know)

stand up and walk around every once in a while. for all my figure skating besties -- try to do an off-ice axel in your kitchen. it tends to wake me up because i tend to fall when i try to do a double but whatever that's a me problem.

find somewhere comfortable and wear something comfortable

make a to-do list

SEPARATE SECTION ABOUT TO-DO LISTS BECAUSE I HAVE A WHOLE SYSTEM FOR THIS

first of all you're going to brain dump everything you have to do. every little thing. including walking your dog. everything that has to be done in the next 24 hours.

let's take a sample to do list:

- math quiz

-math homework

-physics presentation

-chemistry test

-french oral

next, you're going to give each of them a score. how do we put scores? well

give it an easiness score from 1 -> 10 (10 being you can do it upside down with your eyes closed)

give it a stress score from -1 -> -10 (-10 being it causes crippling anxiety)

give it a priority score from 1 -> 10 (10 being your teacher will hunt you down if it isn't done in the next hour)

finally, give it in a convenience score from -1 -> -4 (-4 being i don't know where my notebook is my pen is in antartica i have no material to do this atm)

for me it would be something like

- math quiz (5E, -1S, 10P, -2C) 12

-math homework (7E, 0S, 8P, -1C) 14

-physics presentation (6E, -2S, 5P, -2C) 7

-chemistry test (2E, -2S, 10P, 0C) 10

-french oral (10E, -3S, 8P, -1C) 14

then sort everything. do the highest scores first and the lowest scores last (so you get the easy stuff done and get motivated to continue) and there! your to-do list is done in the least painful way possible <3

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Andrea Gibson, "DEPRESSION [VERB]", Lord of the Butterflies

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2024.18.6

The last two days were not what I wanted. I suffered from terrible pain in my teeth. I did not go to the doctor at first, but after that I could not bear it, and when I went, it turned out that I had a tooth infection. He gave me medication, but I am still in pain, and I have exams on Monday coming up. I feel that small things have accumulated and spoiled my entire mood. Anyway, I will try to study today

So :

1. lecture four

2. lecture five

From pharmaceutical principles

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The tools that worked while you were surviving are usually not the tools that work while you’re healing. It’s okay if you struggle with the change. Be patient with yourself as you figured it out and show yourself compassion.

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One of the cool things about getting older that would have seemed bad to my younger self is you know that feeling when you meet someone and you immediately click and are just on the same wavelength… the first time that happens when you’re in like grade school it’s like soo crazy and the first time you date someone like that it’s like whoa okay. But the more you move around and travel and play and explore in life these people will keep popping up. You’ll feel comfortable around them like you’ve known them forever but it won’t be like this desperate once in a lifetime feeling you need to hold onto because you’re like cool it’s happening again. I always heard it was harder to form new connections when you’re older but for me it’s continually gotten easier bc I know myself, respect my own time and naturally gravitate towards ppl who energize me