sunsettingfear-blog
SUNSETTING FEAR
“When we drop fear, we can draw nearer to people, we can draw nearer to the earth, we can draw nearer to all the heavenly creatures that surround us.”
― bell hooks
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Still on a journey, not really moving.
Let's just skip August, September, and October and get right to the present, shall we?
*I arrived at Mount Madonna Center in October for a three-month program called Yoga, Service, and Community. Here is an excerpt from a letter to a dear friend explaining a bit about my experience so far:
The “Yoga” here is quite different than what you can find in the studios…it’s classical Ashtanga Yoga based on the philosophy of the 8 limbs. It’s much more subtle than just asana (postures) and much of it cannot really be taught…because it is still, first and foremost, a subjective experience. The most you can do in a group is share insight into the scriptures. Then you really just have to take the practice into the world to discover it's meaning... for you. The opportunity to live and learn in a community that is founded upon and supports the core values of Ashtanga Yoga is what drew me to this center.
I am a part of a program called Yoga, Service, and Community. I spend my days working a few hours a day doing Karma Yoga ("selfless service" though in reality I get as so much from the experience that its "selflessness" of it is debatable) as a trade for housing and food. In my free time I am studying yoga, working in the garden, walking forest trails, exploring internet trails, meditating, chanting in groups, and doing a whole lot of self-reflection/inquiry. So far, it’s been a pretty constant (but healthy) state of ups and downs as time passes and the layers of memories and consciousness peel back one by one revealing “me” to myself while I try to stay present and let it all happen. It’s all part of the healing process. Because yoga is translated as “union”, this process of rediscovering/returning to your Self, capital “S” Self, is the real yoga.
My basic needs (shelter, food, general safety) are met here and much of my though-space is free to just observe what comes up day to day, to notice as thoughts, emotions, reactions rise up and pass, to slowly recognize my physical and emotional patterns. Basically, I am working on befriending my “ ego ”, that which separates us and is separate from the consciousness/God/ all- pervading awareness/sensation of PURE BEING that boundlessly unites all. I just knew I needed to acquire the tools I would need on the way. And have them to use for the rest of my life.
It’s been quite an interesting journey. Someone (RMR?) once said, “the only journey is the journey inward”. Sometimes you’re up against your demons and it’s completely painful. It's so much easier to go escape that by seeking whatever you’re seeking outside of yourself.
This place is magical…it really challenges you in the ways you need to be challenged. It is a reflection of the universe- condensed. Everyone’s experience of the center is unique because it is a reflection of their own UNIQUE selves. Overall, it is all very exciting: the journey, the process of getting to know what truly animates the bag of bones and blood and emotion and memories that I’ve carried around for as long as I can remember… it’s just not the kind of exciting journey that you can post photos of to share your experience with others. More to come soon.
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The days in Boise were about a hundred degrees with clear blue skies and we mostly spent them right here.
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And we did some of this.
Taken just before I fearlessly accepted to drive (and very nearly crashed) my first boat!
You only live once afterall...
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Possibly the most unforgettable veggie (spinach?) sandwich I've ever ordered. Fresh local foods are plentiful and pleasantly affordable in Boise!
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Lucky shot of a beautiful double rainbow near the Capitol building in Boise.
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Isn't it wonderful to see people get excited about books?
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We were visited by a hummingbird and a bat, explored the rocks in our socks, and cast moonshadows all over this magical prehistoric landscape. It was a deeply satisfying night.
Best place for a bed #2!
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