sunshine-lollipops-and-maples
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private celebration



★ pairing: y.jw x p.js ⌕ summary: Jungwon's been craving the feeling of Jay inside of him for weeks, now. He doesn't know how to ask, so instead, he keeps it to himself. Having a dirty little secret to think about alone never hurt anyone.
But soon, his birthday rolls around, and he has no idea what to ask for.
Plus, who's to say a gift can't be sex? ✎ w.c: 5k 𖤘 genre: smut, top!p.js, bottom!y.jw, birthday sex .ᐟ warnings: sexual content, !! minors DNI !!

“What do you want for your birthday?”
The question still comes as a surprise even though Jungwon’s heard it before. Thankfully, this one is nothing special, unlike last year—however, he still can’t find an answer he deems good enough.
Jay looks at him from the doorway of his room with a smile. It’s almost midnight, yet Jay still finds the time to talk to him. He always does that when he feels he’s missed Jungwon too much.
His answer finally comes as a simple admission. “I don’t know,” he says. “You know what I like, hyung. Can’t you get me something small like that?”
From the light of the hallway, Jay sighs. “I want it to be special, Wonnie.” His feet make a light noise against the cold, hard floor, and not too long after, there’s a second dip in the bed where he sits down. “You’re special. You’re my baby.”
Those words have made him blush countless times, but he still feels the heat rise to his face. It’s no use hiding it, either. Jay knows him too well; he tucks a finger under Jungwon’s chin and tilts it to look him in the eyes.
“I mean it,” he says. He seals the promise with a kiss to Jungwon’s nose. “Tell me when you figure it out, yeah? You know I’ll do anything for you.”
Jungwon nods, and Jay pulls them both down into the covers. “Goodnight, Jungwon.” And this night, like many others, they fall asleep entangled with each other, Jungwon’s face pressed against Jay’s neck.
—
Jungwon’s search history has become an extensive list of every “gift ideas for your boyfriend” article he can find. He sorts them into three categories as he goes: “uninteresting”, “considerable”, and “no.”
The next article he goes to is at the bottom of page five. He’s flooded with images of clothes—most of which he already owns. And he sure as hell doesn’t need more. So he hits the back button and adds the article to “no.” This is going to take a while.
Another hour into his fruitless efforts, someone knocks on the door behind him. It isn’t Jay. His knocks are a different sound; firm and more rhythmic.
“Jungwonnie?”
He spins in his chair to see Jake peeking his head through the door. Jake’s brows are pinched in the middle. He’s worried.
Jungwon sighs. “Hi, hyung.” To continue his search, he moves his laptop so it’s laying on his thighs. Page six takes a bit to load, but once it does, he clicks the first link. Hopefully, he won’t have to go to page seven.
Footsteps approach behind him and stop right as they reach his chair. “You’ve been in your room all day,” Jake says. “Are you alright?”
In all honesty, no, he’s not. But this is Jake, and he will worry himself to death, along with Jay, so Jungwon puts on his most convincing smile and mumbles a quick, “I’m fine. Just doing research.”
The page he opened has nothing of interest, so he clicks off and goes to the next while Jake takes a peek behind him.
“Isn’t Jay’s birthday in April?” And yet again, he finds nothing. It takes him a few seconds to register Jake’s words, but when he does, he laughs.
“It is. I’m trying to find gift ideas for myself, actually.” He lets out another sigh—it’s deeper, this time. The clock in the corner displays a time near midnight, so that could be why. He’s used all his time after schedules to think of something.
The next article doesn’t have anything, either.
Jake thinks for a few seconds, then puts a hand on Jungwon’s shoulder. “Gifts don’t have to be a physical item, you know. It can be…a wish. Something with meaning. It can be a promise, if you want.”
Jungwon’s hand pauses on the trackpad. He looks back and Jake is smiling. “...Are you sure? That wouldn’t make him mad, would it?”
This time, Jake laughs. “Do you really think Jay could ever get mad at you?”
Okay, maybe he’s right. Jungwon has special privileges when it comes to his anger—being he never experiences it at all.
“He still wants to buy me something,” he says after a few moments of silence. “And I don’t know what to tell him. I’m fine with a day around him, honestly.”
“Then tell him that. He’ll understand because he understands you.” The hand on his shoulder squeezes then drops by Jake’s side again. He makes his way to the door, still smiling, as if reassuring him.
Jungwon nods. “Okay.” A few seconds later, Jake closes the door behind him. The only thing left is to start thinking.
—
The day before his birthday, in the middle of dance practice, Jungwon gets his idea. A very, very inappropriate one.
He watches Jay in the mirror while he’s only wearing a tank top. His toned muscles are more than a little distracting—made worse by the sweat Jungwon sees slip down. That familiar hunger bubbles up inside his chest and he needs to run before it’s too late.
So he excuses himself and shuffles as fast as he can to a small, single-person bathroom, and begs whatever’s listening to cleanse him and his mind. To hell with practice.
Jungwon stares at himself in the mirror, grumbling in his mind about male hormones, until there’s a knock on the door.
“Jungwon?”
It’s Jay. Fucking of course it is.
After ten seconds and no answer, he opens the door. His face is twisted in worry. Jungwon almost feels bad.
“Hey, hyung,” he whispers, still gripping the counter as hard as he can. Jay’s frown deepens as he closes the door behind him. Something inside of Jungwon prays he locks it, too.
“You okay, Wonnie?” Jay wraps him in his arms the best he can with Jungwon still turned away, and as if it’s all a curse, presses a kiss to his neck.
All Jungwon can manage is, “I know what I want for my birthday.” He can't meet Jay's eyes, even through their reflection, but he feels the way his demeanor shifts. One of his hands starts rubbing back and forth against Jungwon’s waist.
“Tell me, and I’ll get it for you, baby.” The way his voice floods the room feels like honey. It isn’t fair—he’s so sweet and Jungwon is so filthy.
As Jay’s hands start to slip lower, his breath hitches. Jungwon almost reaches for the lock himself, but another hand grabs his and interlocks their fingers. Jay presses another gentle kiss against the back of his neck.
Jungwon can’t take it anymore. “You,” he gasps.
“Me?” He can hear the smirk in Jay’s voice when he says it. “I’m not a birthday gift, Wonnie. You sure you don’t have any other ideas?” His hand travels around to rub the front of his thigh, dangerously close to where Jungwon wants him.
He shakes his head. “Just you.” His eyes are closed now, and all his attention is on the hand driving him crazy. The last drop of blood leaves his brain and travels further down with the rest of it.
Jay makes a light humming noise; the one he hears when they’re alone, usually in either of their rooms. His hand is no longer on Jungwon’s thigh. Instead, it’s cupping his ass, squeezing in a way that’s gentle, yet pleasurable.
A stream of words that resemble please, and hyung exit Jungwon’s mouth at a concerning speed. His head hangs low, but Jay still understands—he’s chuckling at his desperation.
“I thought we were going to wait until your birthday,” he says. “Gifts are special, baby. If I take care of you now, is it still special?”
And, God, Jungwon can’t say a word. In place of them, he nods, as if to say, please let me have this. He nods over and over until Jay gets the hint and reaches for the hem of Jungwon’s sweatpants after locking the door at last.
He watches it all happen in the mirror. With eyes on Jay’s hands, his breathing becomes labored, almost like panting. The moment Jay reaches in his underwear and puts a hand on him, his eyes drop to the marble countertops, and he lets out a breathy sigh.
“Feel good?”
Jungwon bucks forward into his hand. With their busy schedules as idols, it’d been a while, which makes everything feel a hell of a lot better. “Yeah,” he sighs. He hopes the others don’t come looking for them.
A hand around his jaw forces him to look at his own reflection, the messy hair and flushed face heating his face up further. He didn’t think it was possible.
“Look at how pretty you are,” Jay purrs. “The prettiest boy. Isn’t that right?”
He tries glancing down to save himself from embarrassment, but Jay pauses his movement once he notices. “Eyes up to the mirror, baby. I want you to watch what I do to your perfect body.”
So, he does as he’s told. Jungwon meets his own hungry eyes, watching the way he melts as Jay begins to stroke him again, attaching the broken whining to a face he knows too well. His eyebrows arch upwards, and his boyfriend smiles at how ruined he already is. It’s perfect; everything Jay does is perfect.
“Good, good.” The whisper floats around his ear. It kind of tickles, but the writhing Jungwon’s doing is for a different reason.
The heat builds up in his stomach. He’s walking the tightrope and losing his balance a bit too often—Jungwon is about to fall, and Jay knows it, too.
His pace speeds up, making wet noises throughout the tiny room. The time between Jungwon’s groans and whines shortens, as well, and through the mirror, it’s clear Jay enjoys them.
“Come on, Wonnie. You’re almost there.”
A few moments later, Jungwon spills all over his hand. He swears his vision goes dark when Jay lets go of his jaw and starts rubbing his chest. It takes a minute for him to catch his breath.
Grabbing his jaw yet again, Jay turns him around and presses a kiss to Jungwon’s lips. “I love you, baby. So much.”
The next few minutes are a blur. There’s the sound of running water, the feeling of a towel, and a few more kisses to his cheek and forehead. Jay almost grabs the door handle to pull it open, but Jungwon stops him.
“Tomorrow,” he says, “want you inside tomorrow, hyung. I’m ready this time.”
Jay smiles and kisses the crown of his head, gentle. “Okay. I can do that for you.” And with a squeeze of his hand, they leave the room more tired than they entered it.
—
The rest of the day inches by at a snail’s pace. After practice, they all go to dinner, and Jungwon has to act like nothing happened in that tiny bathroom around the corner of their practice room.
Of course, they probably know anyway—Sunoo himself keeps meeting his eyes and giving him that playful smirk. Jungwon obviously ignores him.
Still, he’s antsy. He bounces his leg under the table and tries not to knock anyone’s plates around. His eyes dart back and forth from his food to Jay, who’s currently engaged in a heated rant with Jake about something that doesn’t matter. Now he’s debating on pulling Jay away to the bathroom again.
But he can’t. They’re in a crowded restaurant with eyes on the back of their heads. Sometimes he wishes they weren’t famous, if only for reasons like this.
Jay meets his eyes a few minutes later and smiles. Once his hand is on Jungwon’s knee, he calms down for the first time in a few hours. “I’ll hold you when we get home, alright?” Jay whispers, close enough for him to hear yet far enough for no one to get suspicious.
Home is a good bit away, but the promise will hold him over.
Soon, Jungwon gets a text to his phone. “It’s the manager,” he says out loud. When he clarifies, everyone pays attention. “He sent me the schedule for tomorrow. Looks like we have a lot to do.”
It’s disappointing to the whole group, but especially so to Jungwon himself. He starts worrying about spending time with Jay; how will they do it? Will they make time between schedules, or will they have to wait? Jungwon hates waiting, but if they have to, he will. Still, he can’t handle the thought of his own impatience until midnight for—
His thoughts cut off as the hand on his knee moves up to his mid-thigh and pets it gently. Jay caught his spiraling. When Jungwon looks over, he’s met with the softest eyes. They’re the ones he sees most often.
Jay mouths a quick, ‘it’s okay,’ before going back to his food. Maybe, Jungwon thinks, maybe he’s right. After all, he’s already put all his trust in him.
After they’re back at the dorms, Jungwon could not be more relieved. There’s no one to watch as he flops on his bed and Jay falls right on top of him. There are no clicking cameras as they both roll over to reach the other’s lips; no one to see as Jungwon sighs into the long-awaited kiss.
“Missed you,” he says once they break apart for air. Jay laughs into the crook of his neck. It’s his favorite sound.
“You’ve been with me all day, baby.” But he still kisses Jungwon’s right collarbone, and it still makes him shiver. “I missed you, too. I really did.”
It draws a soft giggle out of Jungwon; one that invites Jay to kiss him again. And who is he to say no?
They kiss until their lips go numb. Even then, Jungwon gives him one more peck, as if sealing some kind of promise. It’s a silent one, but they both understand it. It lies in their eyes when they look at each other.
“Hey,” Jay says, drawing his full attention. “You’re still getting your gift, Wonnie. I’ll make sure of it.”
Jungwon believes him. It’d be hard not to with those round, glimmering eyes—paired with a soft grin, denying it would be a death sentence.
He manages a nod through the fog of his drowsiness. “Okay,” he hums. His eyes close as he relaxes against Jay’s chest. The slow breathing pulls him away from consciousness and deeper into comfort. Here, he doesn’t have to think.
A jumbled whisper sounds something like, “goodnight,” but by the time it reaches his ears, he’s far from awake.
—
If yesterday moved at a snail’s pace, today seems like it’s not moving at all.
Jungwon checks the clock for the third time in ten minutes. With each slight movement of the second hand comes another bounce of his leg. It can’t be healthy to be this impatient, he thinks.
He’s waiting for the staff to hit start on his birthday live. Once he gets the cue, he can make time pass faster, but for now, he’s watching them set everything up. They’re talking about a lot of technical stuff Jungwon has no clue about, and it all sounds like gibberish.
Soon, he catches a glimpse of that thumbs up he’s been waiting for, and puts on his best face for the fans.
Throughout the hour and a half it takes, he doesn’t stop thinking about Jay. The fans know it as his catchphrase; they swear ‘Jay hyung,’ takes up half the time in the live itself. Trust him, he sees the comments.
But he can’t say otherwise, can he? After all, Jay is all he’s thinking about. Every train of thought in his mind is named after him. And honestly, he’s a little surprised he hasn’t accidentally popped a boner.
“Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes!” he says as he adjusts the party hat he’d been given before the start. “Of course, I’ll be sure to update tomorrow. See you guys later!”
After a short wave to the camera, a staff member behind it gives their last cue, and Jungwon is free. The clock now reads five in the evening, but he couldn’t care less. All he wants is to get in the car waiting outside and to go home.
He tries not to think too hard about what, or who, he considers home.
It starts to snow when he shuts himself in the van. Without the rest of his team, it’s spacious, yet it never feels right. His eyes trace the paths of the falling snowflakes as he thinks about Jay. It’s become a pattern.
Of course, they’re not taking him home. They’re taking him to another fan event—one at a cafe near the HYBE building. He’ll have security, of course, but this time the fans will be up close, and it’ll be harder to control his reactions.
At least he’ll only be here for thirty minutes.
Even with the door propped open at the entrance, the area inside is impossibly loud. Jungwon hears it as soon as he gets out of the van, and even then, it gets louder as he approaches.
He’s surprised the windows don’t shatter when he walks through the door. Almost everything shouted at Jungwon is unintelligible. He can pick out a few, “happy birthday”s and “Jungwon, I love you”s, but that’s about it.
If he had one true wish, it would be for Jay to stand beside him through all of this. Earlier, he was with everyone else, but ever since his birthday live, he’s been alone. It feels lonely even if he’s surrounded by people cheering his name.
The man at the counter looks up once Jungwon approaches. His nametag reads Steve—maybe he’s from the United States?
“What can I get for you?” Steve asks.
Jungwon scans the menu three times over before coming up with an order that wouldn’t be too harsh on the poor worker. People are crowding the place, after all.
“Hot cocoa, please.” Outside, the temperature is in the negatives. He’d be crazy to order a cold drink in February.
And he tips Steve an extra thirty thousand won, even if he doesn’t notice.
For the rest of the visit, Jungwon goes around talking to his fans. They look ecstatic existing around him. In a way, he understands. Every time he gets to be next to Jay, whether it’s in a car or where they’re seated for a webshow, the butterflies in his stomach burst free like they’ve never met.
So he treats them with care, which is exactly what Jay would do. He smiles looking into their eyes, and listens to every word they tell him. One girl asks for a hug, and he gives one without hesitation. He also makes sure to pay attention to the fanboys; they’re shy around him, but important nonetheless. He used to be one, too.
It isn’t too long until Jungwon is ushered out of the building by his staff. His phone says the temperature dropped two degrees lower. It explains the shivering deep in his bones.
The snow falls harder throughout the car ride—Jungwon catches himself following the flakes, again. Piles of it build on parked cars and the grass against the sidewalks. For some reason, he imagines him and Jay hiding amongst the trees, sharing a kiss for only them, hand in hand and finally happy.
Jay is there waiting for him when he gets back. He’s making his way from the couch to him with the biggest smile on his handsome face.
“Happy birthday, baby,” he says after pulling Jungwon into a hug. The long day melts off his shoulders like he melts into Jay’s arms. His muscles relax along with his brain; he can think for the first time in hours.
The first thought his brain comes up with is, “I need you,” which he says out loud.
It doesn’t stop Jay’s hand from rubbing his back to disperse more tension. Instead, he rubs lower, teasing Jungwon the slightest bit. “I know. Come on.”
Jay’s room has always been a comfort to Jungwon, even before they got together a couple years back. For a while, he blamed it on the blackout curtains to save himself from the embarrassment of having a crush. Now, he blames it on Jay in the softest way possible.
Jungwon doesn’t lay a hand on his own jacket. Jay does everything for him; whether it’s smoothing out his hair once his hoodie is off or finding a place for said jacket so it doesn’t get melted snow all over the floor. Jungwon can’t even lay on the bed by himself—Jay picks him up and lies him exactly where he wants him. Yet again, the feeling sinks in. He has no control here.
The only clothes remaining on Jungwon’s body are a t-shirt and his underwear as Jay hovers over him and pulls him into a deep kiss. After being so frustrated all day, he welcomes the comfort it brings. He also welcomes their interlocked fingers against the bed sheets.
One thing about Jay is that it’s never long until he gets desperate. He wraps his free hand around Jungwon’s thigh, and it glides up until it’s cupping his ass under his boxers; he squeezes right on the crease between them. Jungwon sighs into his mouth.
“Hyung,” he groans. His free hand travels up to Jay’s hair and grabs a fist full of it, tugging gently so he meets Jungwon’s eyes. “Please.”
A knowing grin makes its way onto Jay’s face. “Patience, baby. This is part of your gift, too.”
God. Even being needy himself, Jay still finds the energy to tease him as much as he wants to. His hand slips out of Jungwon’s underwear and moves across the front of his thigh, up to his hip bone. His thumb rubs little circles across it while he kisses Jungwon stupid.
But he’d be more stupid to complain about it. After all, Jay is showering him in attention. Something he can’t get enough of from him. He can never get enough, even if Jay is glued to his side.
So he lets Jay run his hands all over his feverish body. If fingers could mark him, he’d be covered from head to toe, and every single person in the world would know who he belongs to. He almost wishes they could so no one gets in the way of them. No more stupid rumors and no more hiding.
It hardly matters in the privacy of Jay’s bedroom, however, when the tip of his thumb grazes the outline Jungwon’s made in his underwear. His soul almost leaves his body over how good it feels.
Jay chuckles, soft and full of love. “Do you know how much I like seeing you squirm?” So much, apparently, that he does it again, and Jungwon writhes. He isn’t even in control of his own body anymore. He never was.
“Why do you tease me so much?” It comes out as less of a question and more of a gasp.
“Because you’re cute when you’re frustrated.” After a quick squeeze of his shaft, Jay adds, “And I just like hearing your voice, even when you complain.”
The contrast of his actions against his words makes Jungwon’s head spin. How can he be so sweet yet dirty at the same time? He supposes that’s why he loves Jay so much—caring and hot. Jungwon hit the jackpot.
Jay reaches for the bottom of Jungwon’s t-shirt and tugs on it; a signal for him to sit up, and he obeys without hesitation. Jay takes it off for him like everything else, then pushes him back onto the bed and straddles him.
“My pretty baby,” he coos. His hands run all over and back again, as if he hasn’t memorized Jungwon’s body already. Then he adds, in a serious tone, “are you sure you’re ready for this?”
Jungwon hums. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, you know. I want you. Really bad.” He takes Jay’s hand and places it on his own chest, rubbing back and forth across the knuckles. “I trust you, hyung. You know that.”
After a few moments of silence, Jay nods. “Alright. I’ll be easy, Wonnie.” He kisses Jungwon’s forehead and starts peppering his torso, as well. He leaves kisses on his stomach, his sternum, around his nipples, and his hip bones where his fingers once were. By the time he’s done, he stands at the end of the bed again, and Jungwon feels like he’s been worshiped. Maybe that’s exactly what he was doing.
Jay’s fingers hook into his boxers and pull. Despite Jungwon’s ass being firm against the bed, he still gets them off without struggle. His erection pops free and he sighs—from relief, yes, but also because he knew it wouldn’t be long before he got what he wanted.
His eyes follow Jay as he takes a few steps back, and he can’t control the needy whine that escapes his throat. He opens the bedside drawer as he says, “just getting supplies, baby, calm down.” His hand emerges with a small bottle of lubricant. This is actually happening.
He pushes Jungwon’s thighs apart and lifts them up so they’re resting on his shoulders. With one hand, he opens the bottle and pours some over his fingers, rubbing them together afterwards to warm it up. “Tell me if it’s too uncomfortable.”
The first finger presses against him. It’s a little strange at first; the way it presses deeper with a motion so gentle is foreign and draws a tiny gasp from him. Relax.
Jay speaks it out loud. “Relax for me, baby. I got you.”
Jungwon falls limp against the silky sheets. One finger is in, now, down to the knuckle. It explores along the ridges inside, rubbing back and forth. Jay presses against one little spot that sends shivers down his spine; Jungwon did not know he could sound like that.
“Hyung,” he pants. Jay laughs at him, but the smile on his face shows the most love in the world.
“There it is,” he mumbles. “You want another finger?”
He doesn’t have to say anything else. Jungwon nods as fast as he can and even tacks on a small, “please.” Jay turns his head and kisses his thigh.
“You don’t have to beg,” he says.
Another finger prods at his entrance, yet this time, it slips in easier. With two, the gentle stretch turns into a burning sensation, but Jay distracts him with more kisses. It goes away after a minute, anyway.
He feels another finger go in, and with all three, the stretch feels bigger than he thought it would. The difference between two and three is so little, but so much at the same time, like when Jay is and isn’t there. Jungwon only thinks about his absence when he’s gone.
The cue, “all done,” comes a minute later. Jay wipes his hand on the bed and lays Jungwon back down, but not without more complaining. Jungwon hadn’t realized it before, but he gets impatient when he needs something.
It’s quelled, however, when Jay takes off his shirt. His eyes scan the toned muscles ten times over like he’s never seen them. To make matters worse, his dick twitches when Jay takes off his own underwear. “Hyung, please,” he calls.
With a smirk on his face, Jay turns around and walks back over, once again taking Jungwon’s legs in his hands. “Oh, my sweet boy, you’re so impatient. What should I do with you?”
“Fuck me,” Jungwon blurts. He’s a little louder than usual with his demands.
Jay sighs and kisses him. “Your wish is my command, sweet prince.” It’s clear on his face that he’s getting a little impatient, too.
And with that, something else presses against him—something thicker than fingers. Even with all the preparation, he’s left breathless, staring into Jay’s eyes as it prods further into him. At some point, Jay loses his breath as well. His mouth drops open with a sigh.
“Fuck,” he hisses once Jungwon’s taken him to the base. “You’re so good. My good boy.”
His head spins when Jay’s words reach his ears. Every time they get each other off, he’s heard it, but this time it’s different. Jungwon is good for him. He’s lying there and taking everything he’s given.
“Hyung,” he cries, “move. Please.”
Tears fill his eyes as Jay does, keeping a slow and steady rhythm. Every slap against Jungwon’s thighs pulls another high-pitched noise from him, and every punch against that spot of pleasure arches his back off the bed. Jay himself groans nonstop into his neck. He’s losing his self-control; a few seconds longer, and he’s speeding up.
They’re both swimming in pure ecstasy. If the door isn’t locked, neither of them care, because their surroundings have faded to white. All they see and feel is each other. Nothing else, and no one else.
This is heaven, Jungwon decides. The pleasure moves into the background—with Jay staring right at him, he doesn’t need it. Even though it builds to a point where he’s squirming, he never breaks eye contact. He’d trust Jay with his life.
“Good job,” Jay says. At first, Jungwon isn’t sure why he says it, but he feels something sticky against his stomach, and he knows. His legs tremble where they’re held.
Jay isn’t far after, either; he figures it’s because they spent all day waiting and thinking. Something spills inside of him. It’s hot, yet it feels so good. He almost tells Jay to stay inside so it doesn’t leak out.
He can’t get his words out, however. Not before Jay gets up and heads for a towel.
“My baby,” he says while wiping him down. “Felt good, didn’t it?”
Jungwon nods. “Good.” Then, he adds, “I love you.”
Meeting him with a kiss, Jay replies with, “Love you too, my perfect boy. Happy birthday.”
He gets the feeling there are many more happy birthdays to come.
[a/n]: posting my full works to tumblr as well, now! i want to reach a wider audience, hehe!
well, i hope you enjoyed! please like/reblog :)
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Chapters: 2/3 • Rating: T • Chapter word count: 4772
Relationships: Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon
Additional Tags: Fluff, Soulmate AU, is it really au if theyre soulmates irl?, jk theres magical skin sharing in this of course its au, Idol Park Jongseong | Jay, Non-Famous Yang Jungwon, Fan Yang Jungwon, Getting Together, Rating May Change, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Summary:
It happened one fateful day as Jungwon attended the fansign of his favourite idol, Jay.
His soulmate never wrote back to him. The doodles on his skin went unanswered every time he tried.
But, as he sat across Jay, a horrifying realisation came over him—their doodles looked identical.
Read Chapter 2 under the cut:
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
By the time Jungwon is back home, the three doodles on the back of his hand have been accompanied by another two, and he wonders what Jay feels like drawing them with the knowledge that he has already found his soulmate. Does he feel embarrassed knowing it's Jungwon who has to deal with seeing these? Is he sorry for pretending to be soulmates with other fans? Does he feel relieved he won't ever have to silently prepare for such a life changing thing to happen in public anymore?
Gosh, Jay is his soulmate. That is somehow both a thrilling and a horrifying revelation.
For half his life Jungwon has hated the whole soulmate deal with a burning passion largely because of his soulmate ignoring him. Only to now be hit with not only meeting his soulmate, but his soulmate being his very own favourite artist.
Meeting your soulmate is scientifically proven to give the biggest adrenaline (and whatever other chemical and hormonal) rush in the world. Most people list meeting their soulmate as the top moment of their life. And Jungwon just experienced it on a random Tuesday.
And then, of course, he also met Jay today. Jungwon started listening to his music shortly after his debut in 2021, but he had known him way before that. Kind of. He didn’t mention this to Jay when he met him, he wasn’t even sure he remembered, but in 2018, on the first day in his new training company, he had met Jay who paid for his taxi fare that day. But they didn’t converse after that night or honestly even run into each other, but that moment has been engraved in Jungwon’s mind since and even though he did quit being a trainee shortly after, he’s super happy for a gentleman such as Jay to have been able to debut and gain such a large fanbase.
Isn’t it crazy how the universe keeps trying to bring them together?
Gosh , he needs to feel normal again.
After a shower Jungwon goes to make a sandwich for a snack. While he eats, the doodles on the back of his hand are wiped away. The kitten on his palm stays. He hears his brain supply— that's only ours .
Jungwon feels a heat wave consume his body, the lukewarm shower becoming pointless. Normality will obviously have to wait until later. Perhaps it's better to let out all the emotion build up, he thinks.
No, screaming in the pillow does not make it better. Neither does punching it.
Jungwon sighs.
A new thought pops in his head. He has to talk to somebody. He needs somebody to halve his excitement and nerves, and emotions. Hang on, wasn't it shared joy is doubled joy, shared sorrow is halved sorrow ? Honestly Jungwon isn't really set on calling this either a joy or a sorrow.
But telling somebody might actually work.
Or it might go really, really wrong. He most certainly can't just tell about this whole Jay-is-my-soulmate thing to any stranger or even friend, that's what Jay made very clear by making Jungwon act like they didn't just beat the odds of finding a single person out of 8 billion. Similarly, even if he was to find his most trustworthy friend, he probably shouldn't mention anything about Jay, just to be really sure.
Jungwon concludes, he will text Sunoo about this matter. Although a huge gossip house, Sunoo has never betrayed Jungwon's trust before and quite frankly, in Jungwon's opinion, those who you know can choose to shut up when they're known to run mouth about others, you can trust the most.
And of course, Sunoo is the only one who gets his soulmate troubles.
Fishing out his phone and laying on the couch, Jungwon clicked the shortcut for his messages with Sunoo. The good thing is, he knows he won't have to wait for the other to respond, as Sunoo was most certainly scrolling on his phone at any time.
Emotions fizz through his body and he knows exactly how to make Sunoo match his excitement.
Jungwon : SUNOO
Just as he predicted, his best friend replied immediately.
Sunoo : WHAT
Jungwon : I have something for you
Something. Totally nothing big.
Sunoo : intriguing
Sunoo : please continue
Jungwon : what I'm about to tell you is so big SO HUGE that I don't think you've ever heard tea this hot, fresh and juicy
Sunoo : tea? from yang I-don't-gossip jungwon?
Sunoo : you're speaking in terms you know would stir me please do tell every smallest detail
Jungwon : okay maybe not every detail because this is a very delicate topic
Jungwon : but you have to promise me. genuinely. this never escapes our texts
Sunoo : you have my word
It dawns on Jungwon that if this does get out somehow, he can say goodbye to privacy. Media asking about his private life, stalkers digging through his social accounts, random fans trying to meet Jay’s soulmate like he’s some kind of celebrity… all that puts his safety at risk. That’s scary.
Jungwon : seriously. nobody. like my life is on the line.
Sunoo : Jesus what did you get yourself into that's this serious
Sunoo : do I need to sign and NDA lmao
NDA is what Jungwon should’ve been made to sign.
Jungwon : more like three NDAs for each message
Sunoo : oh my god
Jungwon : I honestly should be under an NDA
Jungwon : anyway, here it comes…
Jungwon : i have found my soulmate
Sunoo : omg
Sunoo : and....?
And… What can Jungwon even say? Not who his soulmate is, not what his soulmate is known for, or that his soulmate even is known at all. All that puts his life in jeopardy. If Jungwon or Sunoo get hacked, it will be written here, plain as day Jay is my soulmate , and then god knows what might happen.
Jungwon : and that's pretty much all I can say
Sunoo is not gonna like that. But Jungwon hopes he understands.
Sunoo : ... you're kidding
Sunoo : what kind of lukewarm tea is this
Sunoo : like I'm happy for you I really am knowing how it's been for you but you're really not gonna give me any details?
Jungwon : im sorry
Jungwon : you're free to ask questions though
Jungwon : and come to conclusions
Sunoo : ugh jungwon
Sunoo : this tea is apparently so nda worth even you're under it
Jungwon : yeah technically
Jungwon : but I really really want to tell you it
Sunoo : okay okay I'll try and guess something
Sunoo : so your soulmate...
Sunoo : they've never written anything
Jungwon : that's right
Sunoo : did they write finally
Jungwon : no, not any contact info. but we did find out with writing
Sunoo : okay I see
Sunoo : so you would've had to been with them
Sunoo : wait you had the fansign today was it someone there
Jungwon : yes
Sunoo : wait
Sunoo : JUNGWON
Sunoo : the ndas the secrecy JUNGWON IS IT WHO I THINK IT IS
Sunoo : IS IT HIM????!!!
Jungwon : I will neither confirm or deny that
Jungwon : ;)
Sunoo : oh it's totally him
Sunoo : OMG
Sunoo : OMGOMG
Sunoo : JUNGWON!!!!
Sunoo : CONGRATS!!!
Jungwon : :)
Sunoo : oh it makes so much sense
Sunoo : yeah no I totally see you two kicking it off
Sunoo : oh my god you are the universe's favourite child
Jungwon : now you know how I feel
Jungwon : I've been trying to calm down for hours
Jungwon : I thought maybe telling smb will at least lessen the bundle of emotions I have
Sunoo : yeah I get that
Sunoo : so what happens now
Sunoo : i can imagine it's gonna be hard communicating with him
Sunoo : considering he's yk. the i word.
Jungwon : he did leave me his phone number
Sunoo : oh my god
Sunoo : why are you texting me girl
Sunoo : go get your man!!!
So that's exactly what Jungwon does. Having gained the courage, he decides he's done procrastinating, and he better get to texting Jay sooner rather than later when the bravery has worn off and overthinking has kicked in its place.
He gets his album, flips on the motorcycle page and the "text me, soulmatey <3" above a phone number in front of him sends him into a small panic again. That's Jay's number. That's his favourite artist's number. Jungwon looks at his ceiling and breathes in. Jungwon's soulmate is his favourite singer, and that singer wants Jungwon to text him. Not even a k-drama writer could make something like this up.
He decides to turn his mind off and puts in the phone number in his contacts, choosing "Jay" for the name. Simple, straight to the point. He'll think about a more personalised name after he gets over sending the first message. He goes to the messages of his freshly made contact (of Park Jongse- oh my god brain just stop ), checking if he correctly put in the phone number. It checks out. Jungwon goes through ten different messaging starters before settling on a simple "hi soulmatey (:" , using the nickname Jay wrote next to his number.
One last number checking later (it's still number for number the same as the one in his album, sue him for his perfectionism (and paranoia)), Jungwon finally hits send...
...and locks his phone and throws it a few feet away from him.
Surprisingly, half of his nervousness has disappeared. He watches the phone through the corner of his eyes, waiting for the screen to light up and a text message app icon pop up on it.
It comes two very excruciatingly long minutes later.
Jungwon picks up his phone, unlocking it to see the other's answer.
Jay : Hi *wave emoji*
There’s the three dot bubble actively blinking under it so Jungwon waits for the next message to appear.
Jay : Just gonna make sure...
Suddenly he feels the unfamiliar feeling of a marker tickling his skin, and Jungwon opens up his palm to see a fresh kitty face appear next to now slightly smudged face from the fansign event earlier. Jay needs confirmation so that's exactly what he will give him.
Jungwon : this is the first time I've ever seen you do cat doodles
Jay : Yeah. reserved it just for you.
Jay : You like them?
Gosh, why is he so cute?
Jungwon : yes
Jungwon looks at the cats again. They look a little bare. It hits Jungwon then that even after all the doodling hours and today’s revelations, he is still yet to doodle anything himself. He types back “wait, bow or tie” before running to his rather poor collection of stationary.
He gets back to Jay's answer of "bow" and Jungwon uncaps the marker to scribble one just under the new cat's chin.
Jungwon : now it's snazzy
Jay : Cute
Jay : I’ll be honest I thought you'd text earlier
Jungwon : yeah I mean
Jungwon : the freaking out took some time
For some reason, telling the truth, even if it was a little embarrassing, felt right at that moment. He could’ve made up an excuse, something less awkward than being unapologetically fanboy, but deep down Jungwon trusted Jay and didn’t fear the other’s judgement.
There was zero judgement.
Jay : Haha I can imagine
Jay : Wait sorry I completely forgot to ask
Jay : What's your name
Jungwon : Jungwon
Jungwon : I'm younger than you btw
Jay : Nice to meet you I'm Jay
Jungwon smiled. That idiot .
Jungwon : I know that dummy
Jay : Oh really
Jay : What else do you know about me
Jay : Are you the type of superfan to know how many strands of hair I have
Jungwon : no haha
Jungwon : I'd put myself more towards "casual listener" than "I've bought a certain perfume just because you use it"
Jay : Oh, okay good
Jay : Can't have my perfume being sold out
Jungwon : you don't have to worry, perfume makes me dizzy anyway
Jungwon : this is weird I want to get to know you better, but I already know you and you know nothing about me
Jay : I feel the same
Jay : But in the opposite way if that makes sense
Jungwon : it does
Jay : I feel weird asking though
Jay : How much will it tell me about you if you told me what your favourite colour is, for example
Jay : Which I do still want to know
Jay : I wanna know everything about you
Jay : Texts just aren’t the best way to get to know somebody
Before he can stop himself, Jungwon proposes a meetup.
Jungwon : I see
Jungwon : would you like to meet and go on a walk somewhere
Jungwon : and then we can get to know each other that way?
Jay : Oh
Jay : Like a
Jay : Date?
Oh. Jungwon didn’t even think of the implications of his proposal.
No , Jungwon sends quickly before realising what he has done.
Jungwon : no wait
Jungwon : um
Jungwon : that’s not what I mean
Jungwon : I was thinking more of a platonic hangout
And then he asks himself, would he want to go out on a date with Jay? He’s never thought of him that way, sure he knows Jay is handsome and he’s known to be the biggest “Jay is actually the cutest” defender between his friends, but he’s never actually indulged in fantasising about dating his idol. That concept was foreign to him, but honestly, now that he thinks about it, Jungwon wouldn’t say no to the idea.
Jungwon : but
Jungwon : I wouldn’t be opposed to a date
Jay : Ah I see
Jay : Sure, we can hang out platonically!
Jay : ...For now
Warmth fills his chest, and he feels it creeping up to his cheeks.
Jungwon : for now :)
They continue messaging with some short breaks for hours. At some point, Jungwon mindlessly starts drawing a heart on his left wrist, around the pulse point. The marker was just in his hand, still uncapped, and reading Jay’s messages, now that he was surprisingly comfortable with texting his favourite singer, put him sort of in a trance and he didn't even realise at first he was doodling on their arms.
Worry floods through his mind suddenly as he realises, Jay could still be in public, could still be amongst people, who might see the heart and assume things.
Jungwon: oh sorry I don’t know if it’s ok to draw I should’ve asked
Jay: Don’t worry about it
Jay: I don’t have anything now or tomorrow so feel free to draw
Jay: I can always just put on some concealer, but just ask before you do it next time
And so, it starts. At first, it’s only Jungwon drawing hearts, one after every outgoing message, then multiple while he waits for Jay’s answer. Then, Jay joins him and little hearts start littering their arms at twice the previous rate. Much like Jungwon’s heartbeat, fastening the moment Jay reciprocates the hearts.
When the night falls and they’re texting their goodnights with promises to talk to each other the next day, both their arms have long been fully embellished with little hearts from shoulders to wrists, like a love-filled tattoo sleeve.
The next morning, four hours before Jungwon and Jay decided to meet up, Jungwon takes a shower. Realistically, he doesn’t need one—he is fresh overall, but deep down, even if he’s sure Jay wouldn’t mind a less than perfect Jungwon, he still wants to make a good first impression. Or third, Jungwon supposes.
Especially considering Jungwon has only slept three hours. After scheduling their date today, since Jay has scheduled promotions in Japan for a couple of days after, Jungwon’s thoughts were filled with excitement and nervousness all night. Looking in the mirror he thanks the universe for not giving him eye bags.
Jay. That’s all his mind can supply. The way Jay looks, the way he sings, how he cutely looks to the side of the stage every once in a while, all the little bits of information he’s stored about him in his mind over the years. And now with everything he learned yesterday, stories and bits from his life. The way he texts; always capitalised, neat sentences with nearly perfect grammar and punctuation. How he uses a lot of emojis.
Now he is meeting Jay again. It took him two years of being a fan to finally meet him and now he is meeting him again barely 24 hours later. Face to face with someone he’s looked up to for years, in a more private meeting than their initial one. Private like back when he hadn’t debuted yet, in his trainee days. In Jungwon’s trainee days.
The water drips down a little black and the hearts all over his arms start washing away. Some, the ones Jay drew, stay until Jungwon gets to skincare a few minutes later. All the remaining hearts start disappearing and Jungwon realises Jay is taking a shower, too.
It’s weird, this whole thing. Not like a caveman-seeing-fire weird—Jungwon has obviously had enough doodles on his body appear to know what it looks like, but now staring at how Jay’s hearts disappear from his arms, to the constant thoughts of what his soulmate is doing, that’s weird.
Unusual.
Jungwon has never thought about his soulmate so constantly. Well, he has gone days with Jay consuming his thoughts and Youtube watch history, but he’s never thought of him doing everyday things. The point is, Jungwon’s thought of his soulmate as an average human with an average body doing average things (like ignoring him for years), a mannequin with no specific face, while Jay in his mind was always... Jay. Idol, rockstar Jay, polished and styled, making flawless movements on stage, hitting the high notes in bridges. And yes, also incredibly funny and kind like he is in variety content, vlogs and backstage content, but never… getting out of bed in his pajamas and ruffled bed hair, getting a glass of water and chomping on a banana before walking to the bathroom, pajamas left on the floor behind as he steps in the shower completely-
Heat suddenly settles in the bottom of his stomach.
Ooookay, we’re not thinking about that.
He manages to finish showering without any mishaps afterwards.
As he’s driving to the park they chose for their first (platonic!) date, Jungwon feels a short vibration in his pocket, a message from Jay who probably just arrived. Luckily, he’s just a few blocks away.
When Jungwon pulls up, he sees Jay waiting for him at the corner of the parking lot. It seems like it takes a while for Jay to recognise it’s him, but when he does, the expression on his face is priceless. Shocked to his core, Jay stares at the helmet in Jungwon’s hands. “You drive a motorcycle?!”
“I do!”
Jay’s eyes still bulge out of his eye sockets as Jungwon stores his helmet and jacket. It’s kinda funny (and above all cute, of course), he never expected Jay to be this… struck by Jungwon being a biker.
“Would you like to go for a ride someday?” Jungwon asks.
“Okay.” Jay whispers.
Talking with Jay is weirdly comfortable. It definitely helps that they texted the day prior, but Jungwon notices how easy it is to connect with Jay. Guess that’s what being soulmates with someone is like.
However, when they decide to get ice creams from a nearby convenience store, a small argument breaks out. Jay insists on paying for Jungwon’s treat despite Jungwon refusing the offer. In the end, Jungwon gives in, and after walking out they discuss it.
“I can take care of myself.” Jungwon unpacks his popsicle, a tiny bit agitated. “I get paid enough to buy myself an ice cream.”
Jay argues back. “Oh. I just wanted to buy it as a nice gesture. It’s my nature, I like taking care of people. I didn’t think that you’d mind.”
“I… don’t mind. I just like being in control sometimes. Most of the time.” Jungwon confesses, staring at the ground, not wanting to look Jay in the eyes.
“Okay, but I’d like you to not think of me as someone richer, prettier, or better in general just because of my status.” Jay said back, voice stern but calm. Jay hasn’t raised his voice once in this argument.
Jungwon is taken aback by that. Jay is right, he is just a normal person and he deserves to be treated as such.
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Jungwon says, finally looking at the other. “Yesterday when we texted I had moments when I forgot who you were. But I kept remembering every now and then and especially now that I can see you again that you are famous… Just so you know I will get better at this, but it’s gonna take some time.”
While arguing is not pleasant, Jungwon does agree that they need to talk about this kind of stuff to be happy with their relationship. How interesting or healthy would it be if Jay just agreed with anything Jungwon ever thought, and vice versa?
Jay says a soft alright and they leave it at that, continuing their conversation about Jungwon’s new coding job.
That one argument was all they needed though, because a few minutes later they’re chatting like it never happened.
Talking with Jay is wonderful. They jump from topic to topic with ease, always having something to add to other’s story, and the birds, critters and trees around them know all about their secrets, laughs and giggles. It really is like Jungwon said—Jay’s idol identity slowly becomes less important as their legs grow more tired.
When the conversation turns into a comfortable silence, Jungwon realises how wrong he was about his soulmate. He’s not mean or cold, he’s quite the opposite. How eager Jay was to learn more about him yesterday, to meet up only a day later. It’s a completely different person.
So if Jay didn’t write because he is some rude person, then why?
“Can I… ask something?”
“Of course!”
“Why didn't you write all this time?”
For a moment, all Jungwon hears are the chirping in a nearby bush. Jay’s face falls as he looks down on the ground.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have-” Jungwon
“No, no, you deserve to know.” Jay interrupted him. “For one, When my dad first wrote to his soulmate, he found out they were somewhere from South Africa. It took all of highschool for him to learn basic Zulu to be able to talk to them, and when he did his soulmate just wrote it was pointless and they’d never meet anyway.”
They have slowed down quite a lot and Jungwon wants to ask if maybe they should take a seat on a bench to talk. But Jay continues and he decides to let the other speak.
“My mum found her soulmate in middle school. He was her cousin’s best friend. They dated for 5 years, and then he cheated on her with her best friend,” Jay tells. “All my childhood my parents said that the soulmate link was pointless. I guess… I guess what they were trying to say is that your soulmate might not be your one and only, and to me… I took it as I shouldn’t even try .”
They walk in a shade and a breeze lets Jungwon know his eyes are just a bit wetter than usual.
”I kept doubting that, I knew deep down that it wouldn’t hurt to try, but I chickened out every time.”
Jungwon watches Jay talk, not wanting to interrupt. After all these years of thinking his soulmate held some sort of a grudge against him. Obviously learning that it was Jay all along made him start to rethink his feelings towards his soulmate, but the question still remained. Now listening to, for the lack of a better word, brainwashing Jay went through from his parents growing up, Jungwon feels really sad for his soulmate.
Jay breaks his heart even more.
“Then came the training. I don’t know if you know but quite literally every company is very strict about trainees not indulging in soulmates.”
“Oh, I do know that!” Jungwon exclaims. “I was a trainee myself for a little while.”
Jay, who had been gloomingly telling his awful childhood, perks up at hearing that.
“I, um, actually, do you remember me?” Jungwon asks, looking into Jay’s eyes.
Jay hesitates, looking unsure, but memories clearly sparking up in his mind.
Jungwon gives him the hint. “We met on my first day at BigHit, you gave me money for a taxi home.”
The other flips his head to look at him, surprised. “Wait, really? That was you?”
Jungwon nods.
“I always wondered what happened to the cute little boy who was full of energy on his first day!” Jay smiles.
“Funny how the universe has been trying to bring us together for years.” Jungwon smiles back. He has heard of fans who keep winning fansigns and other event raffles, how special (although borderline obsessive and unfair) it is to hear your idol admit “yeah, I remember you” .
This, however, is a different kind of special. Whatever he and Jay have been through has always been private, even yesterday’s fansign. And Jay, someone who meets tons of his staff, hundreds of fans daily, many of whom weasel their way into Jay’s life time and time again… He remembers him. Remembers him from back when they were both average people.
“Yeah,” His soulmate continues his answer. “I think, after you left BigHit it had to have been around another year when I would find your doodles on my arm. I didn’t even realise they were appearing with longer and longer periods of time in between them until I was just about to leave for Team Spirit and I remembered it had been a year since you last wrote.”
Wow , Jungwon thinks. He remembers when he started high school and told himself he needs to stop hoping his soulmate replies one day. He put down a date when he will stop the doodles and... It’s weird, but then again fate does seem to have some stupid sense of humor when it comes to the two of them, but Jungwon remembers mourning on the 1 year anniversary of no-soulmate-contact and finding the applicant announcement for Team Spirit , the survival show Jay was in before his debut.
Jungwon feels a tear wet his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? No, I should be the one to apologise. I can’t imagine how horrible you felt being ignored for years. Even now that I’m an adult I should've just stopped being a coward and written.”
Jungwon suddenly stops mid step, grabs Jay by his arm and catches him in his arms. It is at that moment when he realises, through their embrace, that Jay is crying too. “It’s okay,” Jungwon whispers, petting Jay’s back.
Jay was an idiot for not writing, but so was Jungwon for thinking his soulmate hated him all this time. Now they both are standing here, in the middle of a park, hugging the stupidity out of one another, desperately trying to calm their emotions.
“I’m sorry for being angry at you,” Jungwon confesses against Jay’s shoulder.
Another moment passes and he realises he is hugging someone who’s barely a friend, or… what are they, exactly? They’ve just had their first true hang out, is it too soon to call Jay a friend?
Just a soulmate, then?
That still leaves the question as to whether they’re just friends or dating. Should they be dating?
What they really need is to first stop hugging as it’s getting to the awkward territory. Jungwon steps back, retracting his arms back to himself. And then… the talk.
“I, um, I need to ask you,” Jungwon starts, unsure how to put it the best way before deciding to just say it. ”What do you want from this relationship?”
Jay searches his face for something, as if he’s not sure what to answer. “I want you in my life. In any way. Just as friends or more.”
Jungwon subconsciously smiles at that.
“Me too,” he starts. “Except… I think—it’s hard to even comprehend right now that I get to talk to you.”
He watches Jay nod along.
“The fact that we are expected to date… It’s overwhelming, I don’t know what to do with that. Yet,” Jungwon adds.
“I get it. We’re practically strangers still.” Jay takes Jungwon’s hand, and Jungwon is not sure what to take from it but lets him hold it anyway. It’s not unpleasant, though. No, it’s anything but unpleasant. “Then let’s be friends. Whatever happens after, let’s not worry about that now.”
Jungwon smiles. “Okay.”
His world and beliefs have been flipped upside down, but Jungwon truly believes he will be okay. With Jay by his side now, definitely.
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Spotlight (jaywon)
One-shot • Rating: M • Word count: 8367
Relationships: Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon
Additional Tags: steve the babysitter, pls pray for him, Established Relationship, Birthday, canon compliant with a hint of magic, Marriage Proposal, Implied Sexual Content, set Nov '24 till Feb '25, Fluff and Angst, a little bit of smut and crack too
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Summary:
He flips his head back to Jungwon, searching his face for something. “Everyone’s…” Jungwon smiles. “That’s the wish? That nobody cares?” Jay’s eyes turn watery with the realization that Jungwon did this. For them. “Yes!” Jungwon chuckles, leaning in again for a quick kiss. “Now come on, we only have today.”
In a world where everyone’s 21st birthday wish gets magically granted, Jungwon wishes to just be able to date his boyfriend publicly. No rumours, no outings, just lots of hand holding, kissing and Steve.
Read under the cut:
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
The long anticipated letter is underwhelmingly plain. For a seemingly magic object it looks like every other white envelope, but nevertheless, it's here and Jungwon knows exactly what's written inside.
A formal invitation toThe South Korea Wish Committee Office in two months. The last step to finalise his one and only wish that everyone is granted on their twenty-first birthday. The last step to accomplish to be able to wake up on the ninth of February and celebrate his birthday with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
To say Jungwon has done the rest of the steps would be an understatement.
Of course, being twenty-one years old is a big check mark on the “how to get your wish” to-do list, you just have to survive until then, really. Jungwon is sure surviving just three more months will be just as easy as the 249 he’s already lived. Then obviously the visit to the Committee Office around a month before the big day, so they can make sure whatever the birthday person wishes for doesn’t go against the law of South Korea.
But everything before that? Like the fact Jungwon has to have a wish written down or even thought of?
He doesn’t even have concepts of a wish.
Yeah. Jungwon is screwed.
Or he will be if he doesn’t think of a wish within the next two months.
After much pondering and no luck, he goes to the rest of the members for help.
“It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just correcting a small inconvenience for a day.” Says Jay. On his twenty-first birthday, Jay wished to not be allergic to cats for a day. They spent the day going to a cat cafe and filming a little vlog with the whole group.
Sunoo, on the other hand, gives him the exact opposite advice. “Really think about it. Don't tell yourself the biggest wishes will be turned down because they might not be. You deserve the best, Jungwon!”
Jungwon doesn't know what to do with that. Especially knowing Sunoo acts like he beat the odds with the most normal wish ever. He still remembers the day Sunoo told him his wish - to have clear, shiny skin for the rest of his life . It's really nothing grand, but Jungwon finds it cute how passionate Sunoo is about it.
In desperation, he even goes to Ni-ki to ask him what he plans to wish for. “Fuck if I know. I’d just wish for the first thing that comes to my mind, I do not care to make it huge.”
Jungwon looks at him, face going deeper and deeper in thought.
“But hey, don’t stress about it, you’ll figure it out. Wish for… a week of vacation… in Bali!”
He wants his wish to just come to him like that.
Three weeks go by and Jungwon still doesn't have a wish. With the Daydream promotions in full swing, end-of-year award shows around the corner, as well as having zero clue what to wish for, he still hasn't got anything and he's growing anxious. He knows he should at least have an idea, something he can build on because time is running out, but it’s like his whole mind and body are on a loop of practice-lead-perform-sleep. He hasn’t even found time to catch up with the show he and Jay started a while ago. It’s a wonder he remembers to give Engene daily updates on Weverse.
Now he has a little bit over a month before he has to go to the office to run his wish by them and he really wants to have everything figured out sooner rather than later. He doesn't want to use his wish for a lame last minute idea.
The inspiration comes a few days later.
It's snowing.
Finally snowing, a proper snowfall, one so pretty and calming you can't help falling in a trance looking up. And boy does Jungwon get dizzy looking out the window of his dorm.
The season’s first snow has always been special. As it’s falling down, covering the city with a thick sheet of snow, it reminds Jungwon of finally laying in bed after a long day. Telling him to relax, the ugliness of real life and its problems covered with a warm white blanket as the quietness of the night lulls him to slumber.
Jungwon loves snow. It’s beautiful today too, like it has always been. It reminds him of Jay.
He wants to go out with Jay.
Jungwon was going to go on a walk either way but the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Both of their schedules were done for the day and they didn’t have anything scheduled until afternoon the next day. Jay was technically free.
As Jungwon reached for Jay’s door handle, the door swung open from the inside.
Jungwon jumped back a little surprised. “Oh, hi!”
“Hey.”
Jungwon smiled dumbly, seeing Jay completely erased his mind. What was he here for again?
His boyfriend however had no memory trouble. “I was going to go find you.”
Jungwon’s mind was filled with a dense fog of You look so good kiss me kiss me kiss me . “Oh. I came to find you too.” Yeah. The fog was still there but that sounded like what he was there to do.
“I was going to go find you to propose that-” Jay’s eyes suddenly widened as he tripped over his words. ” I mean, ask you if you wanted to go outside right now. On a walk. With me” he added for good measure.
“That’s what I came to ask you about!” Jungwon exclaimed, the fog disappearing.
“Okay great, it’s a date!” Jay smiled. ”I’ll get ready then and then I’ll see you downstairs.”
Jungwon nodded, went back to his room to dress up and 5 minutes later waited for Jay at the front door.
There are people. So many people.
Not even a few hundred meters in their walk, the street is flooded with people. Not crammed per say and not enough people that they’d be stopped on every corner by a fan but enough to be concerned about their privacy. Their face masks are up and they’re walking with at least an arm’s reach between each other.
It’s awful, Jungwon decides. The beautiful snow and his beautiful hyung out here with him but there is no way they can call this a date.
They steer into a nearby park, it’s a little more quiet than the street. On a secluded path they break the silence.
“I want to kiss you so badly.” Jungwon confesses.
“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”
Fuck this night, honestly. It’s so beautiful and yet Jungwon can’t do anything to actually make the most of it. He wants to kiss Jay. He wants to hold Jay’s hand. He wants, wants, wants.
He looks around and sees a woman and her boyfriend running around having a snowball fight, their giggles sounding through the park. He’s jealous of them. A little to the right there’s an elderly couple, snuggling together with cups of steamy hot chocolate in their hands. He’s jealous of them too.
It’s not just couples either. Families, groups of friends have all conquered the streets tonight to enjoy the first snowfall with each other. It feels like the whole damn city has gone out. The risk of them running into a fan or somebody stalking them might be about the same as in the middle of the day next to HYBE, Jungwon supposes.
Usually they could find a more private path to walk down while holding hands, today they can't even dare to walk shoulder to shoulder. It pains them but that's a sacrifice you have to make, being a kpop idol.
They get back to their dorms an hour later, hearts heavier than before they left. Jungwon especially seems uncharacteristically gloomy. Jay pulls him down in his bed and embraces him until they fall asleep.
It's a surprise they are the only ones to talk about their hang out , as they've rephrased it for fans and staff. Either way, even if nobody actually recognised them that time they could and they have done that other times, which is why they have to be mindful of the affection they show for each other in public even in their downtime.
It pains them.
It pains Jungwon—in fact, it angers him. He should be able to spend time with his boyfriend the way other couples can.
Jungwon loves spending time with Jay. He loves having late night movie dates or just regular sleepover dates. Cooking dates they do in their dorm kitchen and board game dates that turn into bantering dates as Jay inevitably starts losing. Gym dates when Jay is working out and
Jungwon is keeping him company.
He just wants to have the other kinds of dates too.
Shopping dates and picnic dates. Museum dates. Cinema dates. Arcade dates. Coffee shop dates and dinner dates, proper ones, where they can dress up for the occasion and gift flowers to the other, and chat while they wait for the food they're going to share in candlelight.
He just wishes he could have a real public date .
That's it.
That's the wish.
Jungwon's ecstatic, not only does he have his wish now, he actually has a way to grant it. Excitement grows by minute as he pictures the day, what they would do on their date out. There is no time to waste and Jungwon gets to work, putting down all the details, finding the best phrasing for the best experience.
After brainstorming some date ideas, he asks himself, does he let Jay know about all this or let it be a surprise? He has no doubt Jay would love his wish, so he decides on it being a secret for now. Then comes the technicalities. What if they get captured in the back of somebody’s photo? If everyone forgets their famous identities , does that include their families, Enhypen and staff?
It’s a little tricky, but he gets it done and polished, and soon enough comes the day he has to make his way to the Committee Office to make it official. He is sat down in front of a room of a Pok Yeonghee, as the sign next to it supplies, and waits to be asked to come in.
It dawns on him suddenly, that even though he isn’t scared, this will still be the first time he is coming out to a stranger. He’s only out to the rest of Enhypen, his immediate family and he suspects their manager also knows something’s up, especially after Jungwon went up to him to ask his and Jay’s schedules to be cleared for his birthday.
This, however, is a new situation entirely and therefore there's a reason to be wary.
He doesn’t have much time to dwell on how he truly feels about that because he’s rushed in Pok Yeonghee’s office.
“Good morning!” Jungwon bows.
“Good morning, Jungwon.” Pok Yeonghee gestures to the seat on the other side of her desk. ”Please sit down.”
Jungwon sits down, his demeanor confident like always, but inside he discovers a spark of doubt. What if he gets denied? He doesn’t even have a back-up wish.
Pok Yeonghee sees right through him. Or maybe not, maybe it’s just something she says to every birthday-person. “Don’t worry, everything you say here is confidential and I will help you find the best wish I can legally grant you.”
Jungwon nods.
An awkward silence fills the room. For some reason, Jungwon feels small. He has never felt this way and he shouldn’t, but he can’t explain it.
“I assume you have at least an idea of what you want to get.”
“Yes, sorry.” Jungwon takes out the piece of paper with all his ideas. He stares at it, hesitantly fidgeting with the paper, before pushing it forward on the table. “Here it is, it’s just… personal.”
“Depending on your wish, the number of people knowing about the details would be me and one or two other people, however it is perfectly fine if you want to include anyone from the Wish Committee forgetting about it after your birthday as a part of your wish. In which case the only record of it would be the papers you sign on your wish agreement that will be stored in our highly secured archive,” Pok Yeonghee explains.
“Okay, I got it.” Jungwon said, easing up.
Pok Yeonghee takes Jungwon’s paper. “Like I said, it is against policy for me or anyone to share wishes to other people, companies or institutions unless there’s a credible reason for it, for example if you’re ever under an investigation and your wish is relevant to the case.”
“Yeah, okay I get that.”
The other gives a reassuring smile before looking down at the note. Jungwon watches her read it, noting that coming out through a note definitely feels easier than saying it aloud.
It doesn’t take her long to finish it.
“Oh, Jungwon, I’m so sorry you are in this situation.” Pok Yeonghee says, giving the paper back to Jungwon. “So it sounds like the core idea is that you want you and your boyfriend to become invisible for a day, is that correct?”
It feels so liberating to hear an outsider acknowledge his relationship and Jungwon can’t wait to feel how it will feel being seen as a couple by much more when the day comes.
“Yes!” Jungwon agrees. “Well, it’s that I want our identities as idols to be invisible, I want everyone to see us, just that they don’t recognise us.”
“I see. Well, okay here is the thing,” Pok Yeonghee says, her tone serious, but compassionate. “I believe you mean well with your wish and I trust that you are not wishing for it to break any laws, in fact I personally can’t see any way your wish will let you get away with anything illegal.”
Jungwon’s heart sinks as he feels a “but” coming.
It’s exactly what Pok Yeonghee delivers.
“However I will still have to mark your idea as Ambiguous if you decide to go forward with it, do you know what that means?”
On one hand, Jungwon thinks, if his wish was straight up denied, Pok Yeonghee would’ve said it by now, on the other, there’s still something clearly wrong with his wish and Jungwon doesn’t know what it is. He feels a ball in his throat anyway. Stupid universe, can’t even date his boyfriend publicly for a single day.
He decides to trust Pok Yeonghee. He trusts that kindness he felt radiating from her.
Not trusting his voice, he shakes his head no.
“From the Government’s view, your wish is ambiguous enough for there to be a loophole neither you nor I can see right now. Now don’t worry, that doesn’t mean we can’t let you submit it, it just means a couple more people will have to approve it and we will have to assign a supervisor to check if you do not exploit any loophole.”
It doesn’t sound that bad, well, she did just say they can allow it, it sounds like it just won't be as planned. “A supervisor? In what way?”
“You will be able to have your public date only if you agree that there will be a person following you all day. He will watch you from afar and be able to arrest you if you do end up exploiting the wish for anything illegal. You can add a line in your wish that the supervisor forgets about it at the end of the day.”
Jungwon nods. “Okay yeah if that’s what it takes to get my date I’m okay with that.”
“Great! Let’s get on with writing the official wish submission!”
With Pok Yeonghee’s assistance they write down every smallest detail of the wish, from Jungwon’s wants to legal dealings. He notes how they don’t experience homophobia from anyone or appear together in anyone’s cameras, which, in hindsight, is probably why he would need a supervisor. He finds it a little weird how he must specifically state time in Korean time zone and full names of both him and Jay, but when it comes to the supervisor he is ordered to just write down Steve , but honestly who is he to question that?
He thanks Pok Yeonghee for her help and kindness, and leaves the Wish Committee office building excited for his birthday.
That evening he lets Jay know that his wish involves him. Now all he has to do is wait for the big day, and oh boy, Jungwon can’t wait for the best date of his life.
A month passes by faster than race cars on a course and Jungwon wakes up to a smell of something baked and fresh.
Jay walks in the warmly sunlit room with a plate of pancakes and a cup of something steamy inside, smiling when he sees Jungwon stretch out like a cat.
“Good morning baby,” Jay says, setting down his cooking before leaning over Jungwon and giving him a nice good kiss. He kisses just long enough to give an equally good smack on his ass. “Happy birthday!”
Jungwon giggles letting his hands fall from Jay’s neck to his arms. “Thank you!”
“I made you pancakes and tea.” Jay leans over to grab the plate and gives it over to Jungwon.
“I can smell that, thank you.”
Jay gives his sweetest smile, the one Jungwon fell in love with. “The best breakfast in bed for the best birthday boy.”
“Well I’ll be the judge of that,” Jungwon says, stabbing a pancake on his fork.
Jay watches as Jungwon munches on the mini pancakes. “So what’s your wish and how does it involve me?”
“You’ll see.” Jungwon smirks.
Jay’s eyes widen and face grows serious. “You didn’t, um… book like a… sex dungeon, right?”
Jungwon almost chokes as a chuckle escapes “No, not at all. Fuck, actually I should’ve done that.”
Jay exhales in relief. “Good, I’m not ready for that.”
Jungwon playfully punches Jay in the leg.
Jay jumps to defence. “Yet! Not ready yet .”
Jungwon rolls his eyes, amused smile on his lips, and goes back to his breakfast.
“But I guess we can start getting ready for the actual wish.” Jungwon announces, putting the last of the pancakes in his mouth. Getting up from the bed he quickly tidies the space around before walking towards the bathroom. “I’ll see you in 15 minutes at the door. Dress warmly.”
When both of them are ready, boots and scarves on, Jay follows his boyfriend to the building entrance. “You’re being very secretive about what we are doing.”
Jungwon turns to look at him, ignoring his comment. “Do you trust me?”
Jay is a little taken aback. “Of course.”
Jungwon just smiles, takes Jay’s hand intertwining their fingers and opens the door.
As they walk out on the street and immediately see quite a few people, Jay’s hand falters, but Jungwon’s grasp is stronger. It takes just a few minutes for Jay to realise that Jungwon is determinately pulling him somewhere towards the HYBE building. Panic grows as they pass more and more people and he tries to pull his hand away in fear of any of them seeing him and Jungwon, hand in hand. Jungwon only squeezes harder.
When they’re next to the HYBE building Jay finally manages to withdraw his hand from Jungwon’s hold. Both of them stop as Jay quickly glances around to see if anyone saw them.
“No, hyung.” Jungwon turns to face him. Seeing the fear in Jay’s eyes, he takes Jay’s hands back in his. “Look around.”
Jay does. He looks away from Jungwon and really takes a look at the people. An elderly couple just a few feet away from them, strolling on their Sunday morning walk. A family across the street getting into a car, on their way to the cinema. A policeman writing a parking ticket for a car behind them. They don’t look their way.
Then there’s a couple of young women, talking loudly right in front of HYBE, with cute backpacks and photo card holders attached. Jay recognises one of the girls as a frequent Enhypen fansign attender. None of them seem to care their idols are just a couple meters away. Holding each other’s hands too.
Suspiciously, not one of them is paying attention. By this point they would’ve definitely been spotted, had a camera shoved into their face and had to have run into the building for protection.
But why aren’t they staring at them?
Jungwon sees Jay’s eyebrows furrow, sensing he still needs a little push. So he cups Jay’s cheek and leans in to kiss him.
Jay’s instincts come over him and he immediately pushes Jungwon away. Terrified, he looks around again.
No one looks back.
He flips his head back to Jungwon, searching his face for something. “Everyone’s…”
Jungwon smiles.
“That’s the wish? That nobody cares?” Jay’s eyes turn watery with the realization that Jungwon did this. For them.
“Yes!” Jungwon chuckles, leaning in again for a quick kiss. “Now come on, we only have today.”
“Our first stop is the art museum!”
They’re walking past buildings and people, swinging their intertwined hands and smiling like complete idiots. It’s weird, or rather just unfamiliar, being out and around ordinary people and blending in, even to Jungwon, who’s imagined this every night since he got the idea.
Jay’s hand in Jungwon’s, however, still feels a little unsure.
“Can you tell me the full details of your wish so I know what exactly we are allowed to do or not?”
“Yes.” Jungwon looks at him for a brief second, squeezing his hand. ”It is specifically that everyone can see us but nobody knows we are idols just for today. No camera can capture us and nobody remembers seeing us after today.”
Immediately, Jay’s being changes and he seems more confident. “Okay, okay. What about our schedule?”
“I got the manager to clear everything for today for the two of us. I still have to do a birthday live, but I managed to make him agree on putting it in the evening,” Jungwon states. “Actually, I think he might know about us so we should probably expect a meeting about that.”
Jay nods. “Okay, that’s fine I mean, it’s about time. Is that it?”
“Oh! No, actually. Speaking of…” Jungwon stops and starts to look around. ”I had to agree that we would be supervised.”
Jay starts looking around himself. “Supervised? What do you mean?”
“Somebody named Steve is going to spy on us all day. Just to make sure we don't do anything illegal because, you know, I had to write in that we don’t appear on cameras, which would include security cameras and all that.” Jungwon stopped panning, now staring in one place, or rather on one person. “There!”
Jay gets yanked in the direction they just went, towards a person who looks… suspicious to say the least. He has no time to object as Jungwon approaches the tall man.
“Are you Steve?” Jungwon asks.
The man in front of them has an unreadable expression as he stares at Jungwon, then Jay. “You don’t need to acknowledge me.”
“Sure thing Steve!” says Jungwon, unfazed, and that’s all it takes for him to go back to pretending it is truly everyone around that doesn’t know them.
The day is too short for Jay to care if one person knows either, he decides.
Upon entering the gallery, Jungwon and Jay start sweating almost immediately due to the heating, so they hurry to the cloakroom after buying the tickets. Soon enough they’re surrounded by paintings and sculptures, and they stroll around for the next hour, Jungwon clinging onto Jay’s elbow and pointing to both every impressive and every mediocre art piece that catches his eyes.
“Look, it's us!” he says, pointing to a painting of a city panorama. There, in the corner, on one of the buildings, two cats are pictured sitting next to each other, overlooking the city. It is them.
Throughout the tour, Jay finds out there are a lot of them . Jungwon sees them in two raindrops, dripping closer and closer to each other until they meet at the bottom of a photograph; in two posts on a fence in front of a cute painted cottage, one post leaning on towards the other; and then, of course it’s them in the two lovers holding hands on a swingset, and a couple sitting on a bench under the moonlight, and another one kissing and-
Jungwon finds him and Jay in the ordinary and the extraordinary.
Jay finds him and Jungwon a deserted hallway to make-out in.
Steve finds them in that hallway a few minutes later, sneaks up and whisper-yells, “PDA guys!”
Warm and relaxed they walk out of the art gallery. Jungwon takes Jay’s hand in his pocket for warmth. “Well we have been pretty quick with the museum so we are ahead of schedule”
“So what’s next?”
“Next I have booked us a dance class for couples.”
Jay furrows his brows. They’re already professional dancers, what classes would they need to take?
Jungwon reads his thoughts. “Watz. It is in around an hour and it takes half of that to get there so we have some time.”
After getting a hot chocolate each from a convenience store, they decide to take a longer path to the dance lesson through a square, which, funnily enough, today is a place for a K-pop random dance event.
People stand in a crowd around a temporary wooden stage as WiggleWiggle by Hellovenus just finishes playing. Jungwon and Jay join the crowd, watching fans join the stage in groups to dance along to their favourite songs, then go back to the crowd like clockwork.
Jungwon pulls Jay’s arm. “Oh my god, hyung, wouldn’t it be fun if we joined?”
“I really don’t think we should.”
“Oh come on, nobody knows us, have you never wanted to just join in one of these?”
Jay has. He really wants to now, and while his mind keeps telling him every reason he shouldn’t, today really is the only opportunity he will ever have-
The speakers stop his thoughts. And now for our Valentine's day special, this one is for the couples . A familiar melody follows it.
Of all songs, it starts playing Bite me.
Jungwon’s face lights up. “Jay this is perfect, oh my god!”
And suddenly Jungwon is pulling Jay through the crowd and towards the stage, and Jay no longer protests because, yes, their song playing at a random dance event on the day nobody knows who they are is perfect. Jungwon snatches the drink from Jay’s hand and sets it and his own cup on the ground. They let their jackets fall into a pile and run on stage just in time for the pre-chorus to start.
It's thrilling to dance like they’re fans and the wish for sure works because they would have been welcomed with screams any other day. Then the chorus starts and Jay is in front of Jungwon, and for the first time his dance partner is staring into his eyes. Back when Dark Blood was just about to be released they did this, when practice ran late into the night and all the dancers had gone home, all of them had subbed in as dance partners for others at some point.
This time however the atmosphere is far from goofing around at practice. Jay’s eyes are fixated on his like he will indeed tie and bite him, and Jungwon stares back with mutual intensity.
Jungwon has never felt this way dancing to Bite me. Jay whipping his head as he holds onto his waist is definitely a sight he won’t forget any time soon.
Soon the song ends and the boys come out of the trance to the crowd cheering. As they gather their jackets, some people around them compliment them on their dancing and chemistry. Jay and Jungwon love the attention. If only they knew the two of them were professionally trained to perform.
Leaving the square, they pass by Steve, who’s leaning against a building. He looks totally unimpressed, if not annoyed. “You guys are pushing the limits of the wish, Jesus Christ…”
Waltzing is… different. It’s definitely not what Jay and Jungwon are used to, however it is not a bad experience in any way. Both of them get praised for their ability to follow the rhythm and learn the specific moves, as most couples in the class have no dancing background, but dancing with someone else so close is unusual. Besides for parts in Bite Me, they’re not really known for doing pair dances, so naturally, even though they dance daily, it feels a little strange.
After the first initial tiny mistakes they get carried away and Jungwon loves moving around with his boyfriend, in sync with each other swaying along to the music coming from the stereo in the corner of the room.
They’re the only gay couple here, but the teacher let them know before the lesson that everyone is welcome to learn waltz and if there’s any trouble between other pairs, to let her know and she’ll sort it out. The teacher herself is accompanied by her partner, both on the older side, but still moving elegantly like the youngsters. Jungwon and Jay are the youngest here, the rest of the pairs being in their late twenties at minimum.
Thirty minutes in they take a small break, and while Jay goes to the toilet Jungwon converses with one of the other couples. A woman named Yunji tells Jungwon the story of her engagement with her fiance Youngsu, about the surprise but immediate contentment of a future with her then boyfriend.
She asks Jungwon if he wants to get married to Jay. Jungwon thinks before quickly coming to a decision with ease. Marriage or not, he wants Jay in his future in any way. He has no doubt Jay feels the same way.
After the calorie burning (even if waltzing isn’t the most energy-draining activity) they head straight to a restaurant. Not having eaten since breakfast, they’re quite hungry in the afternoon, and what would a date be without a romantic meal?
Jungwon eats together with Jay a lot, but this is a special occasion. For the first time ever, they can act like a couple, and even if a date is pretty much just a hang out, it just feels good to not hide the nature of their relationship.
Everything on the menu sounds delicious and it's not a hard decision to treat themselves to a full-course meal.
When the waiter comes to take their order, Jay spots Steve just a couple of tables over sitting by himself. He points it out to Jungwon when the other is just done telling the waiter their order.
"And we'll have a bottle of Grenache for now," Jungwon orders, "but can I request something a little strange?"
"Sure what is it?" The waitress asks.
"Is it possible that we pay for anything the man with glasses over there orders?" he points to Steve behind.
The waitress hesitates, “I don't see why not.”
“And can you give him a glass of apple juice?” Jungwon smirks.
The dinner is going great, and the two boyfriends have a nice comfortable conversation. The food is immaculate and time is well spent. Laughing over a stupid pun Jay just said while waiting for the desert, Jungwon looks at the time on his phone.
It is half past four.
A sinking feeling creeps in his chest. They have less than 8 hours left of the wish.
“What’s wrong?” Jay asks.
“I just realised our time is running out.”
Jay takes Jungwon’s hand in his. “We still have a lot of time, don’t worry.”
“Yes but just think about it, we-”
“No, stop. Forget about it.” Jay scoots closer to Jungwon and kisses him. “See, I just kissed you. Everyone saw that.”
Jungwon feels the corners of his mouth give in and raise a bit.
”And I can keep kissing you, and I bet you will sooner become sick of me kissing than the wish will run out.”
Jungwon chuckles. “Do not underestimate me.”
“Yeah, I was too bold with that.”
After the dessert, they’re waiting for the paycheck when Steve decides to visit their table.
“Apple juice? Really?”
“Well you are on duty.” Jungwon states, his voice playfully argumentative. ”Sorry, are you more of an orange juice type of guy?”
Steve takes a few seconds for what Jay and Jungwon can only assume are for cooling down before muttering. “I can’t wait for this day to end.”
They walk out of the restaurant a little over five o’clock to Seoul being covered in a beautiful snowfall. Jungwon embraces Jay, looking up at the darkening sky.
“I wished for this, too.”
Cars go past, people walk by, but it feels like they’re alone. It’s remarkable how only a few hours have made both of them completely forget how they acted before the shield of the wish. They’ve always been aware of the crowd.
Jay looks at Jungwon. “The snow?”
Jungwon hums yes. “The first snowfall day. When there were too many people outside and we couldn’t be affectionate. That’s when I thought of this.”
Jay looks down at him with all the love (and hints of tears) in his eyes and the softest smile on his lips. “I love you so much. You have no idea.”
“I love you more.” Jungwon mirrors the smile.
“Debatable,” the other responds.
They go to the same park they went to on the very unfortunate date. The paths and the trees remind them of the bittersweetness of their current situation. While they are able to do all those couples-things they couldn’t do back then and in general, today is the only day they have and time is running out. Deep down the thought of the future is starting to hurt, but Jungwon just looks at Jay and decides they better milk this opportunity until the very last second. So they just get on with the winter activities ordinary couples like to do, starting with a visit to the nearby public ice skating rink.
The first shaky steps on the ice give them their first regrets of the day.
Clenching on wherever they can on the other — the jacket, arms, hands — they make a successful lap with only a single fall. It isn’t like they’re absolutely trash at ice skating, it’s just the first lap. That’s all there is. Still, they’d rather not have Sunghoon know.
Pink and red lights dance on the ice and the speaker system spreads well-known love songs across the rink, and Jungwon and Jay have gotten the rhythm of mostly-safe-and-successful skating. Which is exactly when a kid dashes past them, scaring Jay who loses his balance and falls on top of Jungwon.
The fall is a little painful for Jungwon as Jay’s full weight lays on top of him and he can’t help but notice how their crotches align with one another.
“This better not be some kind of voyeurism thing.”
Jay and Jungwon follow the sight of neatly-tied skates to sturdy legs all the way up to the face of the voice.
Steve has gracefully stopped right in front of their unlucky pile of limbs.
Jay immediately starts to get up and gives a hand to Jungwon. What is Steve doing skating here?
Jungwon straightens and brushes off snow from his back. “You know you can supervise from outside of the rink, why are you inside?”
“That’s none of your business.”
Jay and Jungwon share a look. “Alrighty then!” Jungwon exclaims, clasps his and Jay’s hands together and skates away.
In their last minutes of skating they catch some glimpses of Steve elegantly swifting past people and giggle.
After getting a hot chocolate they decide to make a snowman. It’s a little wonky, both of the makers not having made one in years, but at least the snow is cooperating.
Jungwon, however, isn’t, as Jay finds out. Just as he’s lifting the last ball for the head of the snowman, he hears a thump and feels a snowball hit him on his upper back.
“Oh, it’s on…” He says, quickly making sure the head of the snowman is secure before bending down to make his own ammo.
Jungwon’s life flashes before his eyes but he shows none of that as he scurries away with a smile on his face. “No, please, that was a joke, just a joke!”
They spend the next few minutes in a full-on snowball duel, giggling as they playfight like they’re kids after school.
A little tired after the rolling and lifting, and the running and laughing, they fall just beside the snowman hand in hand and let the falling snow coat them for a few minutes while they catch their breath before ultimately deciding on making snow angels. The angels look way better than they expected and Jay is the one who suggests drawing a heart around them.
Some old lady walks past them and calls them a cute couple.
For their first real public date, they surprise themselves over how proficient they have been with it.
After hours of winter fun they have gotten a bit cold and honestly exhausted. Reality keeps hitting harder every minute and fuck do they really, really want to have other type of birthday fun, but they can’t just call it a day and end the effects of Jungwon’s wish.
These are the last hours they will ever have on this date.
Not wanting to go home just yet, they roam on every possible path the park can provide. It’s starting to get a little late, with it being almost eight in the evening most people have ended their weekend and returned to their homes to get ready for the week ahead. Some people are still walking around however, on equally intimate strolls like that of Jay’s and Jungwon’s.
Snow is still falling and while it is starting to get seriously cold the love in their hearts warm them up. That and the dirty remarks they keep exchanging.
There are no activities Jungwon can think of for them to do other than just walk. It makes him a little disappointed in himself, but Jay doesn’t seem to mind the lack of plan, suggesting paths to take next.
Now that he thinks about it, this is the first time today Jay has taken the lead. And while it is nice to think Jay would acknowledge his work and exhaustion after planning today, Jungwon can’t seem to shake off the thought that Jay has some plan of his own. It’s like he’s determined to go somewhere specifically.
His gut feeling ends up being right when Jay steers them off the path. The end destination, Jungwon finds, isn’t that far away from it, a large old tree that’s leaning to one side with an old bench just under it. It looks cozy and calming, and yet Jungwon doesn’t recall ever noticing this place. How did Jay know about it?
They take a seat on the bench and spend a few moments appreciating the scenery.
‘’Thank you for today, Jungwon,” Jay says after a while. “This is the best date I'll ever be able to experience.’’
The younger furrows his eyebrows. ‘’Don’t say that, of course we’ll have countless dates better than this.’’
Jay stares off into the distance. It’s time to say goodbye to their freedom. “Not for the foreseeable future though.”
‘’Well years down the line I'm sure we’ll be able to come out. Or we’ll be forgotten. And then it will be safe again.’’ Jungwon can’t help but doom too. This is it for their date and they will be able to experience this feeling only way into the future.
Jay looks at Jungwon and sees him looking at the ground. He can’t stand seeing his lovely boyfriend sad.
Jay takes the other’s hands in his.
“What I'm trying to say is that today was amazing. I loved all the things you planned and those that you didn’t plan.” Jay smiles gazing into Jungwon’s eyes. ”I’m grateful to have you, you are amazing, Jungwon.”
Jungwon finds his smile again. “Thank you for being so amazing yourself.”
“I was thinking today, and, well, a lot in these past months actually, how much I love you.” Jay turns to face Jungwon. “I worry when you’re feeling ill, my heart melts every time I hear your laugh and just five minutes with you where we sit in silence… Just feeling your presence, that's all I need to make my day.”
The other giggles. “Oh, you’re like Ken. ‘ Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.’ ”
The older shakes his head but there’s a smile on his face. “You’re so stupid .”
It sounds like an insult, but it is anything but that. Jay’s ‘stupid’ is filled with the same amount of love as ‘baby ’ and ‘sweetie’ .
“You are too.” Jungwon fires back.
Jay rolls his eyes, faking being annoyed. “Well you are lovely, and smart. And kind, and talented...”
“...And I’m really hot,” Jungwon adds.
Jay chuckles. “And you’re really hot.”
They fall in a comfortable silence for a couple of moments, too busy with appreciating each other’s faces.
Jay decides it is time.
“You said you thought of this wish on the first snowfall day. It was a special day for me too.”
“How so?” Jungwon asks.
“Because I wanted to do this.”
Jay opens the zipper on his jacket and reaches inside one of the pockets in the interior of it. He brings out a small black box and Jungwon stops breathing at the thought of what it could be. It all clicks in his brain, suddenly - the location, the talk... It all leads to the most important person in his life promising a future together.
Jay sinks down on his right knee and Jungwon's thoughts (and wishes) get confirmed. “Yang Jungwon, will you spend the rest of your life with me?”
Jungwon is too shocked to speak. It’s not like this is completely out of the blue, they’ve talked about possibly getting married and having a family, he just never imagined it becoming a reality this soon. But he isn’t complaining, oh god how much does he want to have that promise.
“Ye- woah wait!” Jungwon stops. “Why are you asking me to spend just one of our lives together? We are cats , Jay, we hav-”
“Gosh, Jungwon my knee is freezing, will you spend all of our nine lives together with me?!”
“Yes, yes! Oh my god, get up!” Jungwon cups Jay’s cheeks and pulls him up directly into his own face. His mouth is warm and tastes like a new beginning. After some time they end the kiss, but stay with their bodies glued to each other and Jungwon lets Jay put the ring on his finger.
They stay embracing each other for a while. Being in each other’s arms is the safest place in the universe.
Jungwon can’t believe he gets to spend the following eternity with his boyfriend. Fiancé , his mind corrects and Jungwon smiles at the correction. “Fiancé,” he whispers, and Jay whispers it back.
After a while Jungwon feels Jay’s hands slide from his upper back, to his waistline, then lower. “How about we go home and celebrate ?” He accentuates the last word with a squeeze of Jungwon's ass.
“Oh, absolutely.” Jungwon smirks, takes the other’s hand and together they walk back to the path.
Turning the corner they run into Steve. Who is… smiling?
“Congratulations, guys, I’m so proud of you!”
Jay and Jungwon look at each other with widened eyes. Steve clearly saw their engagement, but that’s not the most bizarre thing. There’s tiny tears in the corners of their supervisor’s eyes and he genuinely sounds happy, unlike earlier today, when his deep voice was nothing except serious.
Steve is… touched?
Jungwon takes the lead. “Aw, Steve, thank you! We are so thankful for you. I’m sure we could get you an invite to our wedding when we get to it!”
Steve's smile drops and he’s back to his expressionless and lowkey annoyed self. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
“Yeah, thought so,” Jay replies.
While they were trying to prolong the last moments of their wish magic just an hour before, now they’re practically skipping back to their dorms. The anticipation of what could be the best sex of their lives is growing by second and the wish is now long forgotten.
When they get to their dorms they stay for a quick goodbye to their favourite supervisor.
“Yeah well I’ll be here until midnight, making sure you’re not sneaking out.”
“Thank you for protecting us today Steve!”
“I really don't think you understand what I was here for today.”
The lovers pay no attention to that. “Okay, love you Steve, goodnight!” They wave back as they get inside their dorm building.
The way up to Jay’s room is a blur, they spend most of it trying to suck each other’s tongues out of their mouths. Stumbling inside Jay spends no time pushing Jungwon against the wall and the following pattern stays the same—kiss, groan, lick, moan—and yet Jungwon could never get bored of it. Jay grinds his rock hard crotch against Jungwon’s and he moans, which Jay answers with some more thrusts.
Jay’s mouth starts conquering the rest of Jungwon's face, mainly steering lower towards his jaw and neck. There, he stops and starts small, weak bites accompanied by some sucking. Jungwon lifts his head away to give more room and it feels amazing. Jay’s mouth makes Jungwon melt and harden at the same time, and he is sure Jay’s sucking and biting is going to leave a mark, but it’s fine they don’t have anything tomorrow. Everything is hot, so hot and Jungwon can just relax and let Jay do whatever he wants to pleasure him because there’s nothing -
The live.
The fucking promised birthday live.
Jungwon nearly screams at the realization.
“Jay, wait, stop!” Jungwon exclaims before rushing to check two most important things—the clock and the mirror. His prayers are answered when he discovers it’s just a little over nine, a doable amount of time to be able to make it to the HYBE building, and Jay’s masterpieces on his neck being faint enough to be able to cover up.
He looks up to Jay who has never looked so concerned.
“Are you okay, what happened?”
Jungwon hurries across the room from his emergency make-up to hairbrush. “The live, Jay! I still have to do the live!”
“Oh fuck, do we still have time?” Jay asks.
The word choice goes through Jungwon. We . Jay didn’t even ask if his presence was needed, he already knew Jungwon needed him there. They are one, Jungwon’s problems are Jay’s problems.
“Maybe if we run.”
They walk outside and start speed-walking towards HYBE but they’re stopped when they see Steve climb out of a car in front of them.
In a stern voice he greets them. “Where are you going?”
“Steve! Oh my god, is this your car?”
“If you’re about to ask what I think you might-”
“Please, we need to get to HYBE right now can you drive us to-”
Steve groans, but gives in immediately after. “They don’t pay me enough for this. Get in!” He rolls his eyes.
Thankfully the drive is way much faster than running and Jungwon is glad he won’t be worn out and sweaty on the live. He responds to their manager’s texts (a whole ten of them!) saying he will be there in a second and that he was sorry.
Their manager is a little displeased but excuses Jungwon because it is his big birthday after all, and helps Jungwon get ready for the live. Jay is right next to them, assisting in any way possible and Jungwon is certain with all of the circumstances of them coming in together, late and on his wish birthday, that even the staff might suspect now. He really thinks they should come out to their manager sooner than later.
But now is not the time. The livestream starts and Jungwon has to get back into the mindset of being an idol and being in front of an audience. Jay is sat in the corner of the room off-camera and while Jungwon doesn’t need any more reminders of what they could be doing instead of sitting here, fortunately he is a great actor and all the dirty thoughts in his mind don’t show on his face.
It gets hard to ignore the thoughts at times, especially when Jungwon catches a glimpse of Jay and finds the other completely devouring him with his eyes, but Jungwon is being very brave and suppresses the temptation to just end the live then and there.
He manages to get through all of the member’s messages and other birthday live checkmarks in no time and ends the live thanking everyone for their “happy birthday”s. Thanking the staff he finally walks outside of the building with his fiancé’s hand in his and walks straight over to where they see Steve parked.
They are able to make him give them a ride back home, which Steve immediately regrets once they start making out in his backseat.
“Just so you know I can still arrest you for not properly wearing the seatbelt.”
“Isn’t that the driver’s fault?”
“God dammit, at least I will get my memory wiped after this.”
They walk the last few blocks on foot after Steve graciously let them know it was a minute before midnight and they wouldn’t want him to realise he has two idols in the backseat. Jay tips him for the ride and both of the lovers get out of the car giggling over the look on Steve’s face one last time.
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went to Enhypen trivia quiz event and fucking floored (almost) everyone turns out most people are not in fact as deranged about them as I am
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(250619) enhypen: don't fight! actually...
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(250711) ENHYPEN JAY on the way to Wimbledon 2025 🐈⬛❤️
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rhythm hive when i catch you....
black cat theme so the only member you won't give me is the black cat one how ironic

#and i still havent forgotten how you basically coppied first shot from flow for the theme#rhythm hive#mmmine
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ENHYPEN JAY — ‘LOVE INSANE’ MV Shoot Sketch 😸
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JUNGWON × JAY | tiktok update (250701)
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hello its been like 10 years xo
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