sunshine-rants

[sunshine-rants]

Jegulily be like

Lily: (whispering) Reg, can you get me a pad from the bathroom.

Regulus: (whispering) oh, sure... why are we whispering?

Lily: (whispering) Oh my god have you never asked James for a pad before?? watch this.

Regulus: (hasn't had a period in a few years now and is heavily confused) okay..?

Lily: (shouting) JAMES! I'm on my period can you grab me a pad?!?

James: (sprinting in with three packs of pads, a box of tampons, six chocolate bars, an iced coffee and a pile of rom-com DVD's.) OHMYGODAREYOUOKAYISITBADSHOULDICRYDOYOUCRYAREYOUCRYINGNOWWHATSWRONGAMISPEAKINGTOOLOUDOHNOIKNOWWHATITISIFORGOTTHEICECREAM-

Lily: (ignoring James entirely) see?

Regulus: ohhh, yeah this is what he's like when I tell him my binder is too tight.

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Twirling my hair, giggling and kicking my feet over the thought of James softly kissing the back of Regulus' neck while he is railing him from behind

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I feel like "thanks to bisexuals and gen z" deserves a place in the tumblr meme phrases

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me being dramatic

my father told me to die today.

i obviously wouldnt because theres so much to live for but even if there wasnt.

there is no fucking way i would give him the satisfaction of doing what he says.

i will rebel if he's being unjust if its the last thing i do

okay ik he didnt mean it like that

it was spur-of-the-moment

he doesnt mean half the things he says

i hope

one way or another, I wouldn’t do that.

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long intense rant

i wish my parents were fucking dead right now.

well not really. i love them. of course. theyre my parents.

theyve done so much for me. theyre literally the reason why i exist

but my father just threw a tv remote at me- like a hunk of plastic with metal on the inside

honestly maybe he used to play baseball or smth because it fucking hurt

all i did was apologize

and if i stay quiet he gets fucking mad

but if i say something thats not "sorry" i'm a shameless brat

and if i say "sorry" im a fucking idiot who should shut up

im so used to being called a piece of shit atp i no longer bat an eye.

like its just normal

i hate it tho.

this morning my mother slapped me for thinking something.

i literally said nothing and she slapped me. i was like ?? and she said "u were rolling your eyes"

and i wasnt so i said that

and she was like "u were like 'oh this is so dumb ur so stupid'"

and i said "i legit did not speak"

and she literally said "well ik u were thinking it"

like what the actual fuck

and later today i complained to my friend about the injustice of the situation.

and she freaking told everyone. like wtf?? ik she meant well but like-

but i mean it didnt hurt that much and most importantly i could see it coming. like she shows it beforehand.

my dad is not like that. he just lets his rage fester and build up and then he fucking snaps. over the smallest, most pointless fucking things. I hate it. I hate them.

but i cant hate them because theyre somehow the same people who have been there for me and done so much for me and i have to love them because thats what families do

right?

[sunshine-rants]

rant from three days ago because a lot of this stuff still applies and is on my mind <3

im on my period and my voice is shit and i have no chance in the upcoming audition so u just unenrolled and im burnt out because i also have to do student council because i missed the fucking deadline so now i have no time also my parents are gonna kill me because i have b+'s in both the subjects that count for high school and they're not letting me do my english work because english is apparently not important and my sister is being fucking insufferable and im trying to be calm and im trying not to yell but then my parents yell at me for having a bad attitude but i need to be there for her because she has a performance tomorrow and honestly those quizzes were incredibly accurate and idek anymore and i wanna officially be with someone but they dont want to be with me and i think i'm not good enough for them and i never will be and i relate too much to characters that have been through so much trauma except i have no reason to be this emotional about everything and quite honestly i deserve all this because my parents are right about everything so i cant even be mad about it and i dont want to vent to yall because we literally have a person practically dying of dehydration, two ppl with crappy parents, a girl with anxiety who needs to fucking eat and sleep, and a girl who cares too freaking much and would check on me constantly and overwhelm me and i feel like crying but i cant because THAT WOULD RUIN MY FUCKING VOICE 

[sunshine-rants]

qotd

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“Save a hypogriff, ride a werewolf!” - Sirius Black.

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foreigners kids be like - my life my rules

Brown kids be like- my life my parent's rules

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Desi parenting is when they train you to be paranoid and overthinkers.

[sunshine-rants]

[sunshine-rants]

"Why don't you spend time with us?" they say, "Keep your phone away at the table."

Parents say they want to talk — until it's about anything real.

They don't want to know about how their plans for your future make you feel.

They don't want to know your fears, hopes or dreams.

The things you're interested in — your favourite music, games and movies;

Or the things you've come to believe.

Sometimes it feels like parents don't want to get to know you as a person. They only see you in relation to themselves.

Or sometimes they do talk about music and games and movies, and it's even worse — because the conversations you want to have are serious.

And it's worse because it becomes very clear, that they don't want to have conversations that matter. That, god forbid, make them feel.

They want to avoid talking about all the times they yelled at you. No apology, no acknowledgement. Just glaze over those parts and pretend everything's normal. Neither guilt nor remorse.

And you're left wondering whether this thing you have a memory of actually happened, because everyone is acting like it didn't. And whether your anger is warranted, because everyone is acting like it isn't.

An unspoken decision: "Yes, we were harsh earlier, but we felt bad and are being nice now"

The implied demand: "...so be grateful,"

The undercurrent of a threat: "...or I'll get angry again."

And a push to move on: "Why do you bear grudges? Leave the past in the past."

All these little clues, that you learn to read in their body language and their eyes and their vibe.

And then they balk when you don't call them. Or jump at the chance to spend time with them — or even have a relationship.

It's weird, loving people you don't like. That you'd never choose of your own volition; that you'd never be friends had you met in the real world. People you're indebted to anyway, because they took care of you your whole life and changed your diapers and drove you to school, and what friend would ever do that?

Had they been overly abusive I would've cut them off without guilt; if I didn't know that despite it all, they really did love me, I wouldn't have cared about hurting their feelings.

Some people... you love them only because they are family. If they were a boyfriend, I would've broken up with them; if they were a spouse I would've divorced them. Alas, they are my parents, and I'm destined to love them. To give up a kidney for them if need be, but not any days out of my workweek.

I don't have these conversations with my family because I've come to realise that this is something they're not emotionally equipped to handle. Too much self-awareness would bring out memories not only of the mistakes they made with me, but also all the times adults in their childhood failed them; of all the ways they themselves were wronged; all the years they wasted because of choices they didn't know they had; and all the things they wish they'd done differently. So I understand; the flood of anger and regrets it brings to the surface must be draining.

But that also means that I'll distance myself from them, because for me, their misunderstood love is draining. And because this has to stop somewhere; someone has to start choosing differently — and I've decided it'll be me.

[sunshine-rants]

Twirling my hair, giggling and kicking my feet over the thought of James softly kissing the back of Regulus' neck while he is railing him from behind

[sunshine-rants]

guess who is a good boy

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c a n o n

slow - april 21 - jegulus - NSFW but not explicit - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 394

The moment James felt it, he jumped. The slow, light, gentle caress of his inner thigh under the table, a hand smoothly running up his leg and squeezing, sending a jolt of heat through his body.

Shocked, he looked to his left. But Regulus, who was in the middle of a conversation, never turned his way, or even acknowledged him. He just continued to talk, nodding thoughtfully then smiling politely, all while turning James to mush with his hand.

Of course now, Regulus was all he could think about. Wrapping his arm around the other man’s waist and pulling him flush to his side, James teased up Regulus’s shirt, playing with the now-bare skin by his hip, teasing his fingers on the edge of his waistband, eagerly peeking toward his boyfriend to react.

Nothing. He just kept talking. “Yes, and then she said she was right, which was absolutely ridiculous…”

James almost pouted, but before he could, Regulus’s fingers trailed higher up his leg, making him inhale a soft hiss. Fuck, that wasn’t fair. How was Regulus so unaffected? His whole body was on fire, now…

Determinedly, he tried his best to act casual as he slipped his fingers under Regulus’s waistband, trailing them over his hipbone, touching the soft skin there almost reverently.

The problem was, as much as he wanted to drive Regulus crazy, he was also going crazy over what he was feeling. Which meant he wasn’t paying attention.And he probably wasn’t doing well at hiding it.

“James? Are you okay?”

“I…”

“What the–”

Sirius’s sharp voice made him jump again, and Regulus’s hand instantly pulled away from his leg, but James wasn’t quick enough. Sirius narrowed his eyebrows, looked under the table,  then surfaced with a gasp. “James Potter, are you groping my baby brother in public?”

He felt himself going red. “He’s not a baby, Sirius, he’s 22..”

“Still, how dare you corrupt him like this! He’s innocent, Potter!” Sirius cried, causing many patrons of the restaurant to look their way.

“Wait–he started it!” James tried to defend himself, flustered.

“Oh, James, don’t lie,” Regulus said smoothly, fluttering his eyelashes. “Of course I liked it, but it was hardly my idea…”

And as Sirius jumped back in to yell at him again, James gaped helplessly at his boyfriend, who sent him a small, secretive smirk. 

This wasn’t over.

[sunshine-rants]

james I fucking love you

undone - april 29 - jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 418

“Did you like it?”

Regulus didn’t have to see who was talking to know who it was. “Fuck off, Potter,” he murmured, not looking around to the source of the voice.

“Hm. But I have to know. When you kissed him, did you like it?”

He scowled. He knew what Potter was talking about, of course. The night before, he’d somehow found himself playing a game of Spin the Bottle with a large group at a party; a group that included James Potter. And when he’d spun the bottle and it had landed directly on Bary, he’d been all too happy to pull his friend in for a kiss that was just a bit too much for the game, knowing Potter was only feet away, seething as he watched.

“Of course I did. I didn’t stop him, did I?” Regulus asked contemptuously, finally giving in and looking over to the older boy, who sat next to him on the bench in the courtyard he was occupying.

He’d done far more than just not stopped Barty. He’d pushed his tongue in the other boy;s mouth with feigned relish, faking enthusiasm as he wound his fingers in Barty’s hair, pulling him closer. And Barty, who was doing his damndest to make Evan jealous and always enjoyed a good snog besides, was all too happy to respond.

“He kisses better than you, I think,” Regulus added, just to see Potter’s furious reaction.

But far from being annoyed, the Gryffindor just gave him a little smirk. “Yeah? You sure about that?”

He drew back, affronted. “Yes. I am,” he insisted. “What makes you think your lips are some gift bestowed on this Earth?”

James just chuckled. “Nothing. Except when you kissed Barty, you were completely silent.”

Regulus thought back, trying to remember. No, he hadn’t made any noises. But why did that matter? Plenty of people were silent during kisses. He asked Potter this question, practically spitting it in his face.

“It doesn’t. Not on its own,” Potter grinned. “Except when we kissed the other night? You know, the time you keep refusing to talk about?”

Regulus blushed and looked away, scowling.

But James just leaned forward, cupping his cheek and guiding his head so Regulus had to meet his infuriatingly beautiful eyes.

“When I kissed you, baby,” James breathed, smirking, his breath fanning warmly over Regulus’s lips, “you weren’t quiet at all. You came completely undone. Beautiful little whines and the most delicious gasps. What do you suppose that means?”