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[superkisako]

“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War ———————– Waxed and polished to a mirror sheen, the sleek black S-Class glided down the city streets of the Minato Mirai 21 district of Yokohama.  Easily navigating the maze-like streets, the car eventually turned off the road and plunged into an underground parking garage.  Within seconds, Hisoka pulled into a reserved parking spot near a set of glass double doors.  He shut off the engine, opened the back door for Kisako to exit, and followed her into the building. Kisako tugged on the cuff of her left sleeve and tried not to let her nerves show, with only some success.  Her shoes clicked across the lobby’s marble floor as she made her way to the front desk, an island of warm colors in an ocean of cold stone, metal and glass.  The receptionist barely glanced at her as she droned in a disinterested monotone. “Welcome to the Taikana Corporation, where we bring tomorrow to you today.  Do you have an appointment?” The receptionist was fortunately looking away as a pained expression crossed Kisako’s face.  Even if said with more enthusiasm, the slogan needed work. “Yes, I am to begin work here today.” “Name?” “Taikana Kisako.” Finally, a reaction.  The receptionist snapped her head upward in surprise, suddenly at attention. “Y-yes, Ms. Taikana.  We’ve been expecting you.  I will notify your secretary of your arrival immediately.” With a deep bow of apology, the woman picked up the phone, dialed a couple numbers, and informed the person on the other line of Kisako’s presence.  She then pasted on a smile and gestured to the nearby flotilla of seating.  “Please, make yourself comfortable.  Ms. Kurosawa will be down in just a minute.” Kisako slowly floated to one of the nearby sofas and lightly perched on the edge.  A secretary? That was unexpected.  She had no idea what was in store for her, but at least she apparently wasn’t getting sent to the mail room.  She cast an apprehensive glance at Hisoka, who was busy studying the building’s layout. A few minutes later, a young woman fairly bounded her way down the stairs toward her.  Her dark blue hair streamed behind her and her bright green eyes sparkled as she made a beeline for Kisako.  “Ms. Taikana!”  She quickly bowed in greeting, almost as if an afterthought.  “I am Chizuru Kurosawa, your secretary and assistant.  I’m so glad to finally meet you!  Your grandfather has told me all about you!” Kisako barely stopped herself from flinching, put on her best smile and returned the bow.  “I hope not everything.  Then we would have nothing to talk about.” Chizuru blushed.  “Of course, of course!  Do forgive me.  I tend to get a bit ahead of myself sometimes.  Please, follow me!  I’ll show you where you’ll be working.”  Chizuru paused and glanced at Hisoka, breaking her overly cheerful demeanor but for an instant.  She ventured, “Your… friend can join us as well.” The pair followed Chizuru’s brisk pace deeper into the building.  Chizuru pointed out various landmarks and recounted some choice gossip along the way, somehow never out of breath.  Eventually, the incessant chatter reached a lull. “You know, I knew a Major Kurosawa.” Kisako offered. “We crossed paths several times in Tokyo.  The last I heard, he was in this area.” “Is that so?” Chizuru called over her shoulder. “Well, there are a lot of us.” Kisako fell silent before she could betray any more and Chizuru happily picked up the thread once more.  In short order, they reached a set of glass doors.  Chizuru pushed her way in without ceremony and was greeted by a confused sea of men’s faces gathered around a table.  She waved Kisako in, who entered with some trepidation. For a brief moment, the men looked to Hisoka, who had entered in after her, assuming that he was the reason for this disturbance.  It was with no small amount of surprise, then, that Chizuru introduced Kisako to the Taikana Corporation’s task force dedicated to getting the electrical infrastructure back online. “The Chairman has requested her personally to assist you gentlemen as an equal partner in your work,” Chizuru announced. She then turned to Kisako and smiled. “I will be at my desk.  Call me if you need anything!”  With a wave, she breezed out of the room.  Every man around the table turned to the diminutive young woman, who looked as astonished as they. Kisako managed a shaky bow and an “I look forward to working with you” before the room broke out into bedlam. ———————– The knock came again, more insistent this time. “Dangit woman, let’s go!  The water’s getting cold!” “Just a minute!” Kisako called in response. “I’m almost ready!” But Kisako continued to stare at herself in the mirror, unmoving.  One hand lightly traced the contours of the scars slicing across her side.  Another scar slashed down her back to match the one on her chest. She took a slow breath.  “How did I let myself get talked into this,” she murmured. “As soon as I leave, he’s going to see.” Unbidden, the memories of that day bubbled to the forefront of her mind.  She recalled the desperation of the fight on the airship, and the chaos on the ground below. Then, Ken—no, Eiji fought with Satsuki. He fought bravely, but he was already fading.  Had she not intervened, he wouldn’t have lived. Kisako’s eyes slid shut at the thought, but she forced it aside.  It was too painful to contemplate.  He was here now, and waiting.  There was no escaping it now.  With a sigh of resignation, she wound the towel around herself, tucked it in place, and headed outside. “It’s about time!  What took you so long?”  Kenpachi’s exasperated expression quickly shifted to concern when he spied her scars. “And where did you get those?  I don’t remember them.” Kisako tried to hurry to the baths, but she felt his touch along her back.  Worry crept into his voice.  “Another one. What happened?”  His eyes narrowed.  “Who do I need to kill?” Kisako stopped and turned to him.  “You don’t need to worry about that.  You already have.”  Before the surprised Kenpachi could respond, she continued, “It’s a long story.  I’ll tell you when we get to the baths.” Kenpachi could only nod and follow her as they walked on. ———————– [[Incoming.]] Kisako immediately dropped her hands back down to the keyboard and switched to typing normally just as Chizuru entered without bothering to knock.  “Good morning, Taikana-san.  I hope everything is going well with the report on the Iwasaki account?” Kisako nodded.  “I’m just putting on the finishing touches.”  She paused to look up at the intruding secretary, but withheld comment upon seeing her.  The normally cheerful woman stood quietly, her gaze fixed to the floor.  “Was there something you needed?” Chizuru fidgeted, clearly ill at ease.  “The Chairman wishes to speak with you.  He said it’s important.” “Ah.”  Kisako finished the sentence she was working on, locked the computer, and rose from her seat.  “Best not to keep him waiting, then.  Did he say what he wanted?” Chizuru shook her head.  “No, ma’am, just that he wanted to see you in person immediately.” Kisako exited her office with Chizuru in tow. Hisoka joined the pair at the office door and accompanied them to the elevator.  The ride to the top floor was silent, save for the whirring of machinery and the anxious tapping of Chizuru’s feet. A few moments later, the doors slid open with a jarringly cheerful *ding!* Rich mahogany paneled the wide hallway before them and stretched down to the warm red carpeted floor.  Detailed portraits of illustrious family members stared down at Kisako.  Like every other time she had passed them, she couldn’t help but notice they were all men. Kisako and Chizuru finally reached the double doors at the end of the hallway.  Hisoka lightly knocked to announce their presence, answered by a cool, “Enter.”  The doors opened, and Kisako and Chizuru stepped inside. The office appeared to be decorated with the express purpose of intimidating visitors, and it worked beautifully.  Dark-stained oak walls and floors absorbed the light and scores of books lined the shelves along the wall.  The large desk centering the space was somehow both ornate and utilitarian. Perched on the leather-upholstered chair behind the desk was an impeccably dressed middle-aged man every bit as imposing as his office. His wire-framed glasses and closely cropped moustache and beard highlighted the sharp angles of his face.  His dark eyes impassively regarded the women as they entered.  “Thank you, Kurosawa-san.  You may go now.” Chizuru didn’t need to be told twice.  She bowed deeply and hurried from the room.  Now alone, Takeshi indicated one of the visibly smaller chairs gathered in front of the desk.  “Sit.  We have much to talk about.” Kisako obediently sat before her father and folded her hands on her lap.  “Now that I have stepped up as Chairman of the company and head of the family, much will be changing.  We will once more need to provide for the future of the company and of the family.” Takeshi looked down at Kisako for a long moment. “Your grandfather was overly fond of you, as you know.  He allowed you far too much liberty and responsibility than was wise, convinced that you were far more capable than we gave you credit for.  It is fortunate, then, that you turned out not to be such an embarrassing failure.” Takeshi rose from his seat and circled the desk to stand in front of Kisako.  She suddenly found the carpet very interesting.  “It is a fool who would let his pride hinder his fortune.  So, you shall begin working directly for me starting tomorrow as the vice-president in charge of research, development, and analytics.  Ueno-san has been informed that you will succeed him and he will retire once you have fully settled into the position.” Kisako nodded, her violet eyes still fixed on the carpet.  “Thank yo--- ” Takeshi continued, heedless of her words.  “In addition, should you show the appropriate talent and aptitude, you shall report to me each morning.  I shall instruct you on what you shall need to know about the company so that you might one day succeed me.” Kisako froze and looked up at her father.  He leveled a calculating stare at her.  “You are my only child, so I have little choice. Make no mistake, however, that I will not hesitate to correct you when you are out of line.” Kisako nodded mutely and Takeshi returned to his seat. Interlacing his fingers as he propped his elbows on the desk, he continued.  “As you will become more visible as a member of the family, more is expected of you.  Your mother informs me that you continue to meet with those… individuals you met at school.  You are to cease such associations, as they are known to be terrorists, military, and other such dangerous individuals.  They are not worth your time and attention, and such associations will only reflect poorly on you, your family, and the company.” Kisako shifted uneasily in her seat, but Takeshi didn’t seem to notice or care.  “However, I must also see to the continuance of the family.  That will be your mother’s concern instead of mine, but I expect you not to shirk your duties in that regard and to heed what she has to say.” Takeshi’s eyes narrowed slightly and he lowered his voice as if others might be listening.  “You shall be aware of your position at all times.  This includes no longer taking part in such nonsense as you have in the past and which your grandfather had encouraged.  You are a Taikana, not a Pandora.” Kisako pursed her lips and slowly nodded.  “Yes, father,” was her only reply. Apparently satisfied, Takeshi sat back in his chair and waved his hand dismissively.  “You may go. I want you to finish your report on the Iwasaki account before you present yourself to Ueno-san.” Kisako rose from the chair, her knees slightly weak, and fairly floated toward the door.  She was reaching for the door handle when Takeshi called her back.  “I have placed immense faith in you.  Do not make me regret it.” “Yes, father,” she weakly replied before vanishing through the door. ———————– “Now then, I would like to welcome Taikana Kisako, who will be on hand to answer a few questions.” Kisako gave a slight smile as she took the podium after the Taikana public relations specialist, Chisaki Ando.  Chisaki had just announced that the Taikana Corporation would now be directly working with the Speedwagon Foundation to develop new technologies.  These experimental designs would be installed at Yamaku, where the company had been sending funds for several years.  Kisako, as head of research, would be traveling to Yamaku to oversee the work done at the school. Kisako deftly fielded the questions regarding the particulars of the agreement and her work at Yamaku.  She also invited those present to join her on the maiden voyage of the new train which would run to Yamaku, one of the first fruits of the collaboration. Another reporter raised his hand.  “Taikana-san.  Can you clarify why the company is willing to make such a risky investment as a school for Pandora?  Would this not be placing technology in the hands of potentially dangerous people?” The reporters fell quiet as they turned to Kisako. She paused to look over the group assembled before her.  She sensed most were apprehensive about the idea, with some being suspicious or outright hostile to Pandora.  She smiled once more.  She heard the same question when she pitched the idea to the board. “The Pandora represent the ultimate of stress tests for any new technology.  It is nearly impossible to predict how they might interact with something, so we must plan for any eventuality.  If the technology we develop can survive the worst that a group of superpowered teenagers can throw at it, then it can handle what the rest of us can put it through. In addition, technology we safeguard for use by Pandora at Yamaku will be safeguarded for their use after they graduate, making it safer for the public at large.” A quiet murmur rippled through the reporters after she finished and the one who asked the question returned to his seat. The apprehension appeared to be easing in the room.  Kisako took a few more questions, mostly about the train powered by cold fusion, before concluding the press conference. “I might have to send Kodansha a thank you note for preparing me for the scrutiny.” Kisako thanked Chisaki for her help and then departed for home.  She had a train ride to prepare for and some friends to see.   

[superkisako]

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” - Friedrich Nietszche ----------------------- "Kisako-chan!  Kisako-chan, where are you?  I can't find you."

The voice drifted among the labyrinth of bookshelves.  Kisako's shoes echoed hollowly against the wooden floor as she plunged headlong among the stacks.  Glowing orange threads crisscrossed overhead and barely illuminated the path.

"Kisako-chan, it's so cold!  I can't feel my fingers anymore.  Where are you?"

Deeper into the maze she ran, at times almost heedless of the direction.  Each time the voice called her, it came from a different place, but it always seemed a little bit closer.  Surely she must be making some headway.

Any moment now...

Kisako turned a corner and abruptly found herself in an open area.  Illegible papers scattered over the upended desks and chairs thoughtlessly cast aside.  At the center of a behemoth spiderweb of orange threads encompassing the area, a familiar figure struggled in a cocoon shrouding her up to her neck.

Michiko cheered with relief.  "Kisako-chan!  I knew you would come.  Please, help me.  It's so cold here!"

Kisako fairly sprinted to Michiko and she began tearing into the bindings.  The filaments slowly gave way and the cocoon started to unravel.  Yet, her friend was not within.  Instead, small flesh-colored cubes dislodged and clattered to the ground where they shattered into nothingness.

"No.... no, no, no, no!  Not again!  I won't let this happen!"  An increasingly panicked Kisako tore desperately at the cocoon.  Eventually, the entire mass disintegrated to reveal only Michiko's head intact.

Michiko gazed sadly at Kisako and murmured, "It's so cold..." before finally dissolving completely and fading away.

-----------------------

Kisako awoke with a start and abruptly sat up.  She shivered as a thin rivulet of sweat slithered down the back of her neck.

Wan moonlight trickled through the nearby bedroom windows.  The clock beside her bed proudly declared that it was much too early to be awake.

The nightmare again.  The third time this week.

[superkisako]

γνῶθι σεαυτόν “Know thyself” -Temple of Apollo at Delphi

--------------

The air was turning colder now.  The sun set the skies on fire before slipping beneath the horizon much too early.  In the coming months, clouds would roll in to draw a cover of snow across the land.

As the moon traced its path across the sky, it cast the silhouette of a single figure perched at the summit of an imposing edifice.  How she got there was anyone's guess; the curving eaves offered little in the way of useful handholds.  But there she stood, hand resting on one of a pair of stylized herons that strode toward either end of the roof.

A fine mist curled from Kisako's nose and lips with each breath.  She seemed simply to stare into the distance, but her blank expression hinted that she did not actually see anything.  Instead, she had crawled far inside her head.

--------------

Deep in a library, Kisako curled up in a chair surrounded by stacks of books.  Shelves five stories tall wrapped around her and obscured view of anything more than five meters from her.  Tomes filled the shelves, each spine labeled with a meticulous recording of dates, times and locations.  The scent of fresh paper mingled with the must of old books.

Ensconced at the library's center, Kisako pored over a newly penned book.  Rather, her eyes repeatedly scanned the same page: a transcript of a conversation she had with her grandfather earlier in the day.

Each time she read the passage, Kisako and Ojiisan's voices repeated their words anew, like a recording constantly being replayed.  Over and over, the interchange started and restarted, or it skipped to specific parts.  Time and again, Ojiisan recounted the history that shattered everything Kisako had been taught about her family.

All at once, Kisako abruptly rose from her chair and rushed off.  Down the twisting corridors she ran, following a path more labyrinthine than Daedalus could have imagined, until she reached a set of darkly stained cherry wood doors.  Engraved shakudo panels inset in the doors presented stark contrast against the intensely detailed golden vines inlaid in the nearly black metal.

Three times Kisako knocked sharply against the doors, but they did not open.  Instead, she held the book open and showed its splayed pages to the closed portal.

"You heard it, didn't you?  Did you know?  Did you know all this time?  I'm not a freak.  I'm not an aberration.  I am my family's child.  I will not---"

--------------

"--- be ashamed."

The words fell from Kisako's lips as a chill wind gripped her.  She wrapped both arms around herself to grasp for warmth, withdrawing her hand from the nearby heron sculpture she used to balance herself.  She immediately regretted her decision as a fresh gust of wind threatened to send her sliding down one side of the roof.  Fortunately, a quick mid-air adjustment brought her safely back to her perch.

[[That wasn't so hard, was it?]]

No, no it wasn't.  She had done it practically without thinking, almost like a reflex.  It came as naturally as breathing.

[[Centuries of tradition and years of practice will do that to you.]]

Kisako paused, and then smiled.  She smiled, and then chuckled.  She chuckled, and then began to laugh.

The irony.  The ridiculous, absurd irony.  For years, she had hidden her true nature to avoid bringing shame to her family, only to find that her family had been cultivating abilities like hers for generations.  She had been unknowingly following her ancestors' footsteps all along, and her mother had no idea.

Years of shame and heartache suddenly began to release their grip on her.  It was like a dam had broken, and relief crashed through her in its wake.  Peals of laughter, their chimes musical and bell-like, poured over the house beneath her feet for several minutes.  Even when her laughter had stilled, she had wrapped her arms around herself and smiled.

What was it like not to be a constant disappointment?  She had no idea, but she liked the thought.  The world might not accept her, but at least her family would.

One thing was certain, though.  She would no longer be ashamed, and she would not apologize for existing.  She was a Taikana. Time to act like it.

[superkisako]

Stat sua cuique dies; breve et irreparabile tempus Omnibus est vitae; set famam extendere factis Hoc virtutis opus. "To each his day is given. Beyond recall man's little time runs by: but to prolong life's glory by great deeds is virtue's power." --Virgil, The Aeneid

Maybe a trace of poison still lingered in her system.  Maybe it was the drugs.  Maybe she just needed the rest.  Either way, the morning sun crept across Kisako's room to highlight the contours of her sleeping form long past her usual time to wake.  Sunlight finally splashed across her face and her violet eyes fluttered open.  A groan of pain mingled with exhaustion crossed her lips as she rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling.  However long she had slept, clearly it was not enough to ease the fatigue deep in her bones.

Her eyes traced patterns in the ceiling for many long minutes as she lay there, awake but not yet strong enough to sit up.  Sleep had evaded her for weeks, ever since she woke up to feel the cold steel of a dagger on her cheek.  Even her days in the hospital weren't restful as she continually hovered on the border to unconsciousness.  The malaise that had plagued her could not be shaken even there, and she had to admit she was tempted by the tug at the back of her mind to surrender to the blissful silence.  Why did she not take the opportunity when she still had it?

[[Because you're not done yet.]]

Her hands reflexively clenched into weak fists, and she felt something shift in the skin of her left arm.  But then, she gave a resigned sigh and relaxed her hands again.  She never could get used to her compaion's talent for cutting through her doubt and indecisiveness, but it spoke the truth.  Much as she would have wanted, she couldn't just give up when so many threats were looming.  The fog had to be lifted, de Rais was still on the loose, and this "war of legends" needed to end before anyone else got hurt.

[[That's not how war works.]]

"That's not how they think this one works," she returned.  "That's what they've been told, but that's not necessarily reality.  There must be a way to stop this, if we could only find it."

[[They're not going to wait for an alternative.]]

She pursed her lips and frowned.  Her companion had a point.  Even if they listened to her, what if someone decided they could win?  What if they didn't believe there was another way?  What if they wanted to defend themselves by striking first?  Was detente truly possible?

[[She's going to try again.]]

Her jaw clenched with a subtle intake of breath.  "We don't know if that was her.  We only saw a silhouette."

Instantly, her mind was inundated with a deluge of images: Kenpachi confessing to blacking out and waking up in Junko's apartment, Arisato's belongings piled on a bench in Odaiba with a ransom note, a black-skinned figure grinning from behind a trussed-up Saki, the dagger in her bed, the attack at Kurayami, the nurse hinting at Junko allying with Brando, the silhouette on the rooftop resembling Brando before revealing pigtails as it departed, the figures circling the party as one tried to call out Kenpachi, the daggers and arrows flying at her when Kenpachi did not step forward, black-skinned figures hiding in plain sight on the streets as the car drove by, Junko saying she was no longer holding back in making people suffer and saying she had two more houses to visit, Kenpachi saying his apartment was now a smoldering ruin, Hanako in the ICU with extensive burns.

The flurry of images was too much for her mind to process all at once.  Kisako pressed her hands to either side of her head.  "Stop!  No more!"

The images suddenly halted, leaving an almost tangible silence with their absence.  The voice spoke again to fill the void, this time more insistent.

[[She's going to try again.]]

She hated to admit it, but her companion was right.  Junko was not going to stop, and she had no reason to.  Once she "put herself back together," as Keita called it, it would all start anew.

A knock sounded at her bedroom door.  "Kisako-san?"  Hisoka's voice.  "Is everything alright?"

Even though she couldn't be seen, Kisako froze in place and her gaze slid to the door.  How much did he hear?  How could she excuse it?

"I'm fine," she assured him.  "Just a bad dream!"

A pause.  Not good.  Would he believe her?

"Very well," the reply came at last.  "I might suggest it is time to get up.  I will be here to help you with the stairs."

Kisako gave a sigh of relief.  "Thank you.  I will be a few minutes."

Gradually, her stiff and uncooperative frame got to the edge of the bed.  One foot reached the cool floor, soon joined by the other, and she slowly stood up.  Moving was still an exercise in frustration, but at least the pain was manageable and her wounds had mended enough that she didn't worry about doing actual harm to herself.  She retrieved the black silk robe she had draped over the back of a nearby chair, slipped it over her shoulders, and tied it around her waist.  Her feet then found their way into the house slippers.  Getting fully dressed was going to have to wait until later.

Kisako opened the door of her bedroom to find Hisoka standing guard nearby.  Immediately, he moved next to her and offered his arm so that she could use him for support and balance.  She looked up and gave him the best smile she could manage as they walked toward the stairs leading to the roof.  "Thank you, Hisoka.  You've been a great help.  Hopefully today is better than yesterday."

Hisoka merely nodded.  "I am glad to see you doing well, Kisako-san."  He indicated the direction of the guest rooms.  "Your friend has been concerned for you as well.  It's hard to miss his worried look when he's spending time with you."

Kisako winced and glanced toward the door to Kenpachi's room.  "He blames himself for my getting hurt," she quietly murmured.  She then answered the question before Hisoka could ask it.  "The people who attacked us were after Kenpachi.  They targeted me because we are so close.  They wanted to draw him out, but he did not give them the satisfaction."

Hisoka's face darkened at the news.  "And you invited him here, where they could attack you again?"

Kisako's reply was instant.  "What else could I have done?  He has no other place to go."

Another pause.  Hisoka spoke once more, but with a softer tone.  "Your mother is not going to be happy when she finds out.  She'll insist on you staying with her."

[[She's going to try again.]]

Her companion whispered this time, as if Hisoka somehow could hear it.  A new image flashed past her mind's eye, one not of her own memory.  The edges were somewhat hazy, but it was undeniably the black-skinned figures once more, this time talking to de Rais.  The figures indicated the viewer, informing de Rais that they had brought him a token to seal their alliance.

Kisako tensed her grip on Hisoka's arm.  Arisato had shared the image with her not long after his kidnapping.  But if the figures were anchored to Junko, did that mean she was allied with de Rais?  And if she were, could that mean Brando was de Rais' tether?  It would explain some of why she didn't seem too particularly concerned with de Rais.

Hisoka glanced down at her.  He appeared to be considering something.  "Or perhaps," he mused aloud, "if this is an isolated incident, she need not know."

Kisako met Hisoka's thoughtful glance and nodded.  He thought she was still worried about her mother!  "Thank you, Hisoka."

The pair reached the foot of the stairs, and Kisako paused for a moment to gather her energy.  She leaned heavily on Hisoka and steadied herself on the handrail as she carefully made her way upwards.  "I think the stairs are easier today," she noted with no small amount of pride.  Hisoka merely nodded his approval.

They reached the rooftop garden, and Kisako settled herself on a cushion near a water basin fed by a bamboo fountain.  Hisoka moved a few steps away to give her space, but remained nearby.  Between the brightness of the rising sun and the turmoil in her mind, she found it difficult to meditate.  It took some effort before she managed to quiet her mind and gain enough focus to slip into her trance.  Here, she was able to contemplate events with a more objective view.

It was more than half an hour later when Kisako opened her eyes once more, but her indecision had begun to fade.  Junko was getting what she wanted.  She might not even care about winning, instead wanting to cause pain.  She had to be stopped, one way or another.  Her latest encounter with Keita provided a chance to prepare and to deal with de Rais.

She kept her gaze fixed ahead of her as strength began to infuse her words.  "Hisoka, might you do something for me?"

The man stirred as his name was spoken.  "Of course, Kisako-san."

Her eyes narrowed and briefly flashed a more intense shade of violet.  "Prepare the house.  If we're going to be visited by guests like those we met a few days ago, we should be ready to welcome them."

[superkisako]

λετο μέν μοι νόστος “Lost is my homecoming” --Homer, Iliad A slight chill infused the air, a harbinger of summer’s impending demise.  Kisako instinctively drew her jacket more tightly around her shoulders, but more to still her nerves than to ward off the cold.  For several long moments she stood near the car she’d just exited, simply staring at the edifice she had known but had not seen for nine years.  Her house seemed smaller than she remembered it, and more austere. Was she ready for this? Her dearest wish for all this time had been to come home.  Now she was here, and she but had to knock on the door to be welcomed back into the family she loved. Doubt stayed her hand.  She had been cast out because of her actions, and now her actions had brought her home.  Had her family changed at all?  Was her mother still so imperious, and her father so aloof?  Did they still disapprove of who and what she was?  They had seemed so happy when they had attended her graduation from Yamaku. Then the door opened, and light tumbled past a silhouette standing in the doorway.  “Oh, you poor thing,” her mother Yukiko cried.  “How long have you been standing out there in the cold? Come in, come in!  Hisoka will bring your things to your room.” Kisako smiled.  Maybe they were ready to take her back after all.  She ascended the stairs and she removed her shoes in the entryway in favor of house slippers.  As Yukiko gathered her into a brief half-hug, however, she heard the words her mother left unspoken: “It will be a lot of work, but we’ll get you presentable.  We’ll make sure you won’t embarrass us like the last time.” Kisako glanced out the door as it closed on her with a sudden finality.  There was no going back now. ------------------------------------ “Every action taken, every word spoken, everything we do reflects upon our family.  We are judged by our deeds and the company we keep, and we gain respect or derision accordingly.” Yukiko looked like nothing so much as a tigress circling her prey as the lecture continued.  “Remember, what you do will reflect upon me, your father and your grandfather, just as what we do will affect you.” Yukiko clearly did not want to waste a moment of the month before classes began.  Early on the day after Kisako arrived home, she had been summoned to her mother’s room. The loving façade of the evening before had been stripped away, and Yukiko began instructing Kisako on her place in the world. “You are to act so that people can see you and your family in the best light possible.  We expect you to conduct yourself as a respectable young woman at all times, as befits your status and station within this family. “There shall be no talk of mind-reading or any other superstitious nonsense.  You will keep company with the appropriate people I approve, until you learn what qualities to look for, and you will disassociate with … less desirable people.” A familiar face flashed in Kisako’s mind for a moment, though whether it was her mother’s doing or her own fears, she couldn't say.  She chewed on her lip in apprehension, which only brought a disapproving look from her counterpart before the lesson began anew. ------------------------------------ “Good bone structure.” “Lackluster hair, but should be easy to change.” “Decent figure.” “Horrible posture!” “Skin tone a bit uneven, but workable.” Kisako stood mute in the middle of the room which had formerly been hers, but had since been redone in a modern style that was strikingly like her mother’s.  She slowly turned in place as a trio of women watched, noting her various features along with their approval or disapproval.  Never before had her appearance been so carefully scrutinized.  Though she was fully clothed, she felt completely exposed in the face of their critique. “We’ll need to take you to Shibuya for some decent clothes, of course.  You look absurd in these old things!” Kisako fought the urge to nervously tug on her scarf. Fortunately, the ladies looked to Yukiko for approval, rather than attempting to remove the neckwear.  Yukiko had been lurking in the background, studying the scene.  She remained mostly silent as the stylists did their work, though her presence was no less unsettling. Yukiko nodded.  “Take her, and whatever you need.  Just bring me the receipts when you’re done.” The ladies fairly twittered in their excitement. Kisako presented them a blank canvas on which they could work, and they immediately began plotting how best to dress up their doll-like charge.  Pastels? Perhaps jewel tones.  Nonsense, she needed earth tones! “Of course,” her mother continued, “you’ll also have to get rid of those strange purple contact lenses.  They make you look ridiculous.” Kisako cut an apprehensive look at Yukiko, but her mother swept out of the room to call for a car.  Kisako’s gaze lowered and her shoulders slumped in resignation, only for her to be swiftly chastised once more for her terrible posture. ------------------------------------ Yukiko nodded in approval for the first time since Kisako had returned home. “Yes, you finally look presentable.  I must admit, the girls have a point about those contact lenses being memorable, once it’s incorporated into the whole.” Kisako allowed herself to smile and tugged a bit on the cuff of her left sleeve.  “I’m glad you think so, Mother.” Yukiko’s disapproving frown returned immediately. “Yes, well stop fidgeting!  You’ll ruin the effect.”  She grasped Kisako by the shoulders and none-too-gently positioned the girl to stand behind her.  “Now stay with me, move when I do and don’t say a word.  You are here to observe, and nothing more.  I will answer any questions about you.” With that, Yukiko walked out of the room to meet the family’s assembled guests.  Kisako could do nothing but follow in her wake. Kisako had to admit that her mother handled people well.  She could be quite charming when she had need to be, making sure everyone felt welcome and enjoyed their evening.  Kisako was introduced proudly, though she noticed that Yukiko never mentioned Yamaku, instead naming her previous school.  She also made a point to say that Kisako was soon to attend Tokyo University, which never failed to bring murmurs of congratulations. For her part, Kisako dutifully remained silent, and gladly so.  The assembled guests were quite intimidating at times, and she was altogether unused to spending time with people of their mindsets.  Fortunately, she was able to fend off the rising headache and keep her wits about her enough to simply smile and nod at the right times. Kisako spent the rest of the night studying the various social interactions, struck by the juxtaposition of the unseen, Machiavellian machinations hidden beneath the polite veneer of artifice.  This was respectable company? ------------------------------------ Kisako tucked her feet underneath her and settled into what had become her favorite chair in the library, ready to spend the next few hours poring over a book on Greco-Roman mythology.  Whoever this Edith Hamilton was, she had an excellent way of telling a story. A little over an hour later, Kisako had yet to budge from her place when her father Takeshi walked in, headed for the nearby study.  She froze, but didn't look up, unsure of what to do.  Hopefully he wouldn't notice her there, or he would think she hadn't noticed him.  She had yet to see him since arriving home, and she still had no idea if he wanted her there. Takeshi paused, and she could feel his scrutiny. For well over a minute, he studied her, while she pretended to be absorbed in her book.  He eventually turned back toward the study, but a single word echoed in her mind: “Pandora.” Kisako blinked in surprise, but fortunately her face was buried in text.  The door to the study clicked shut and immediately she lifted her head to stare at the door as if she could read the answers she sought from its surface. What was Pandora?  Did he know what book she was reading?  But how? Kisako pursed her lips in thought and frustration. She knew better than to ask about something she had no business asking about.  That was how she’d gotten sent off to private school in the first place.  She closed her eyes as the memory sprang unbidden to the forefront of her mind and snapped the book shut, suddenly in no mood to continue reading.  She rose from her seat and slipped out of the room.

------------------------------------ The car pulled up to the curb and a man exited the front seat.  He turned to open the rear door, revealing Kisako looking rather nervous in formal evening wear.  Her nerves melted away as she exited the car, however, and she took in the concert hall before her. A poster advertising the evening’s Tokyo Philharmonic concert greeted her, and she smiled at the scheduled program.  She always did have a fondness for Tchaikovsky and Dvorak.  This was going to be a wonderful evening. “Kisako, dear, do step out of the way.” Blushing slightly, Kisako murmured an apology and made way as Yukiko took the man’s offered hand and gracefully exited the car. Though Kisako had to admit --  begrudgingly -- that she looked rather nice after the stylists had finished their work, her mother put her to shame. Yukiko cast a calculating glance over the surroundings and gave a nod of approval.  “Yes, I think this will do.  Remember your manners, dear, and you’ll be fine.  Hisoka, be sure to return at nine.” Hisoka, still standing next to the car, bowed deeply and closed the car door, but said nothing.  Yukiko walked off, leaving Kisako but to trail behind. Hopefully, this was going to be a nice evening. ------------------------------------ The sun began to peek over the tops of the Tokyo skyline and bathed the rooftop garden in its warm glow.  The quiet whisper of a small fountain filled the glass enclosure and swathed Kisako’s senses in a shroud of solitude.  A ghost of a smile crossed her lips, her eyes shut in peaceful meditation. Even in the city, she couldn't relinquish her need for the morning calm.  Fortunately, the family didn't use the garden for much except for entertaining guests, so she was almost never disturbed during her contemplation.  It was one of few times she was left to her own devices, and she was all the more glad for it. Half an hour later, she rose to her feet and walked to the windows.  The city lay before her, in the throes of morning rush hour.  She stared towards the north, as if she would somehow will herself to be able to see her friends once more.  Classes started in a week.  Doubtless, most of them were already on campus.  Would she share classes with any of them?  She hoped so. She knew all too well that her parents hadn't changed, and her mother was doing her best to change her into a clone of herself.  But her friends didn't try to change her.  They taught her not to be ashamed, but to embrace who she was.  How long must she wait to see the people whom she loved most? As she was thinking of Michiko, now all alone at Kokugakuin University, her phone buzzed in her pocket.  Coincidentally, it was a text from Michiko: “Is it safe to talk, or are you still in princess lessons?”  Kisako smiled for a moment, and dialed her friend’s number.

[superkisako]

It may have been the hardest thing she had ever done.  Her best friend, the girl she had shared her life with for seven lonely years, stood with her on the platform as they waited.  The train would be arriving soon to take everyone back to Yamaku.  She was within arms' reach.  They had just enough time to say goodbye before they parted ways.

-----------------

Kisako stared out the window as the train hurtled across the countryside, looking outside but not seeing anything.  With each passing moment, she felt her heart turn over in the pains of regret.  She had the chance to tell Michiko everything, to say goodbye for what might have been the last time.  And she had kept silent.  Instead, she let Michiko think they were just saying goodbye until the next e-mail or phone call.

It's for the best, she told herself.  She would just worry about me.  Maybe I'll actually get out of this alive and I'll have spared her the pain.

And yet... and yet, Kisako couldn't believe that she'd done the right thing.  Michiko had trusted her so completely and she had been repaid with lies ever since Kisako had arrived in Yamaku.  Lies that had gone on far too long.  She owed her the truth.  If she was going to fall at the tower as Midori had said, she would find a way to make sure Michiko knew why.

-----------------

Returning to Yamaku, Kisako fished out her webcam and set it on her desk.  She carefully aligned it so she was in full view, but she hesitated to start recording.  Doubt snaked its fingers through her mind.  Was she doing the right thing?  Did she have a right to shatter her best friend's conceptions of the world?  But then she recalled her friend's implicit trust in her, and she pushed the record button.

Kisako smiled weakly as the webcam shuttered into life and her throat tightened for a moment.

"My dearest friend.  If you're seeing this, then you know I won't be coming back.  Believe me when I say I wish things had happened differently.  You've always been my best friend, the sister I always wished I'd had.  I wish I could be with you now so we could forget that we were ever apart.  But that's never going to happen now.  I'm gone, and no doubt you're wondering what happened.  For all you've done for me, I owe you that much.

"You've always called me the psychic detective.  Last time we met, you called me superhero.  You know how much I hated being called that, but you have no idea how close you were to the truth.  Since I'd arrived at my new school, I'd started putting my talents to use to help people.  Of course, I had to stay out of sight as much as possible.  You know how I am, hating attention.  But I did what I could to keep people out of danger or to fight the darkness where I could.  You see, while there are those like me who want to help, there are also those who have their own agendas.

"In my time at Yamaku, I'd found company with other people who were like me.  You've actually met many of them.  Together, and we worked to try to stem the tide and keep people safe.  Sometimes we were successful, sometimes not.  Sometimes buildings blew up.  In time, we'd come to realize that something catastrophic was coming to our school, and we resolved to try to stop it.

"Well, it seems that we didn't stop it, or at least, not completely.  I wouldn't be talking to you now if we were completely successful.  I can only hope that I fell helping the others to prevent an even worse calamity."

Kisako's voice broke for a moment, and she paused, choking back tears.

"Michiko, my friend.  I'm sorry that I can't be with you now, but I had to do this.  If we did nothing, there's no telling how many people might be killed.  That's no life I'd want to live, even if it means I'd have to give everything up.  Please, tell my mother and father I love them, and that I truly never meant to hurt them.  I'll miss you, and I'll be waiting for you in the next life, where we can hopefully be friends once more."

Kisako stretched out a trembling hand to shut off the recording and finally allowed herself to cry.  For several minutes, her agonized weeping filled the room as she hugged herself and rocked back and forth.  Was she really ready to do this?  What choice did she have?  The Event was coming regardless of whether she was ready.  At least she still had her friends in the student council to go with her, and she had all of her research to help guide them down the path.

She stared numbly at her computer screen for several minutes, the unsent e-mail staring back at her.  Then, something clicked deep in her mind.  What use was all of her research if she was just going to die?  What use was all of her knowledge if no one else would know it?  How much time would be wasted if those who came after would have to re-tread paths that she'd followed before?

Melancholy was unceremoniously swept aside as Kisako sat up in her chair.  She clicked open a new document file and began typing.  If she was going to die in the Event, she was going to make sure her research wouldn't die with her.

Hours flowed by as her fingers traveled the keys, beginning with a basic overview of the shadow realm and its inhabitants, continuing through research of the Events, listings of shadow council members, information on arcana and their bearers, and discussions of the purpose, leadership structure and current membership of the student council.  Book pages found their way in as well, thanks to a rather detailed camera on her phone.  Anything even tangentially related to the shadow realm, extracurricular activities committee, or the Event found its way into the document she composed.  She made sure to include any unanswered questions she had, so those who came after might pick up the threads themselves.  She could only hope that they would want to.

The sun began to peek over the tops of the buildings as Kisako worked, but she barely noticed.  It wasn't until the sun reached its zenith in the sky that she sat back, satisfied with her work.  She encrypted the file with a password and attached it to the still-waiting e-mail for Michiko, along with the video she had made the night before.  She kept the subject simple, "Explanations," and added a short message:

"I'm sure you have many questions about what happened.  Hopefully this will help to explain.

"Please forward the document directly to the current president of the student council at Yamaku and tell them that it can be unlocked with the name of the mechanism's guardian.  It has information that they will need for the future."

She set the e-mail to be delivered three months from now, and with a single click of the mouse, it was on its way.  She kept a copy on her own computer as well, just in case.

It was strange, seeing the physical embodiment of her life laid out so cleanly before her.  Everything she'd found over the past several months had been condensed into a single reference document.  So much had been a complete mystery, even to those who had lived it the first time.  How far had they come in understanding this world, and how far did they yet have to go?

She could only hope she could find out for herself.

[superkisako]

[Kisako sits beside a stream in the woods outside Yamaku campus.  Her head tilted back and her eyes lightly closed, she leans gently against the tree behind her.  For several minutes, she constricts her thoughts and awareness to her breathing.  As the sun rises to paint her face in tones of yellow and gold, she gradually slips into the familiar comfort of her meditative trance and allows herself to contemplate other subjects once more.]

So.  The Event is almost upon us.  We still have little idea what we will face when it arrives, so we must be prepared for anything.  I'm glad so many of us have pulled together, though.  If we can remain cohesive, then we stand a chance.  We just have to have faith in one another.  Funny, I didn't have faith in anyone here for a long time, and here I am, counting on it.  Have I truly changed that much?  I guess so.  But perhaps for the better.  It's... nice to be able to have people to rely on.

So what can we do to prepare better?  I've been helping to teach people how the shadow realm works, and help them discover their inborne abilities.  It's up to them to grow more comfortable and strengthen what they find.  We can look into past Events, see if there are any correlations.  Best way to find out is to talk to people who lived through it.  Kaeta and Strauss have already talked about the last one, so we need to start moving backward.  Maybe Hanako can help locate them if we look through the yearbooks for them.

There's also the change in staff at school that Dojima had wanted to look into.  Could it be there's someone on campus who's working with the shadow council?  Who could it be?  It's a scary thought, but we have to deal with it.

It's nice to have people to work with in research, too.  Hana and Hisao have been good company, and Hanako is amazing to watch on the computer.  I wasn't expecting what Hana found about Dajjal, though.  A false prophet?  Does that mean we can't trust what he tells us?  I know Galo said he couldn't be the trickster, but now that I think on it, at the very least he might not be a benevolent figure.

Moloch mentioned the trickster wanting to give the fire of knowledge to the undeserving, and Dajjal at times has given us knowledge.  He's the one who got me to link Events to disasters, and told us the nature of the Event itself.  Does that mean our understanding of the purpose of the Event is flawed?  He could be trying to guide us in a way he wants, but if that's the case, does he want the cycle to end, or to continue?  He appeared at the same time as the mechanism, so we can assume he's linked with the Event at some basic level, and he has a very deep knowledge of it.  For that matter, Moloch said the trickster's plan would be revealed when the clock counted all the way down.  Of course, that depends on whether we trust Moloch.

I do remember Rosa talking to Dajjal before we met her.... and Rosa's arcana isn't completely clear.  Could that be shadow realm influence, or an effect of her having come from another time?  Is Dajjal shielding her?  And now there's the second Dajjal.  I wasn't expecting that.  The legend says the first to appear is a false prophet.  Does that mean the new one tells the truth?  Can we trust Dajjal... ever?

Dajjal has also watched people from time to time.  I remember seeing his eyes the night my cat died.  And who's to say he hasn't been keeping track of us when we weren't aware?  Then he would know our strengths and weaknesses.  He's also showed up at various contentious events, like the fight with Brando, or Shizune's attempt to kill Kaeta.  I'd heard that people who sow chaos like to see the results of their handiwork.  Would Shizune be willing to talk about what happened?  It might shed some light on the matter if she got the idea from someone that Kaeta is a shadow creature.

...

Well that's ironic.  Shizune thought Kaeta was a shadow creature, and now it seems like he can take on their form.  I hadn't thought of that before.  I wonder what she'll make of that.

Okay, pull back.  You're getting ahead of yourself.  Focus on the preparations.

Strauss' idea to have us patrol the shadow realm in pairs is brilliant.  We've been lax in staying vigilant there, and now we can monitor the situation and get near constant updates.  It's not the safest idea, but with so few of us, we need to stretch thin to cover most times of the day.  If he would but have more confidence in his abilities, he would be an excellent leader.  He will when the time comes.  He has to be.

I hope the warriors have continued training.  I'm no warrior myself, but I can try to help them when needed.  At least, I don't fight with physical strength.  My mind is my greatest weapon.

My mind...

Just what did happen in that hospital?  I thought for a moment that I'd finally cracked and I was in the hospital where I belonged.  Mother did like to threaten me with it for a while.  And with what I've seen here at Yamaku, I couldn't fault her for it.  Anyone else would have thought they'd gone crazy, what with all the talk of alternate dimensions, shadow creatures, super powers, shadow councils and the like.  But then, I walked out into the hallway and saw that it wasn't real.  I don't know where it came from, but it was a construction of some sort.

But that creature that chased me.  So utterly terrifying.  I'd never felt so helpless, so alone, as when it was rushing after me and all I could do was run and pray I could get away.  But what was it?  What was my fault?

[The image of the figure comes into view of Kisako's mind's eye.]

I'd put it in that cell, somehow.  I'd made it what it is.  And what was it?  Everything I fear.  It's nasty, brutish, irrational, barely coherent.  But it looks like me.  It wears my face.

...

Because it is me.  That's the secret.  I can be nasty.  I can be brutish.  I can be irrational.  I can be barely coherent.  It's the part of me that I try to ignore and pretend doesn't exist.  But I can't ignore it.  It does exist.  Once I accepted my role and tried to make amends... Maybe that's the key.  That's why my companion has been so dark.  I've been running from myself instead of accepting myself, ignoring the darkness instead of dealing with it.  Have I always been?  Maybe.  But I can't now.

[Her eyes still closed, Kisako clenches, opens and flexes her left hand.  She twists her wrist so that the sunlight plays off the vines for a moment before they skitter away into the shadows.  She smiles.]

So thank you, my friend.  You've given me a lot to think on, and you just may have saved my life.

[Kisako lets her hand drop back down into her lap.  She takes a breath and forges onward.]

Okay.  So there's a new player on the board.  This entity with the white mask and the grey coat.  Just who was that?  I could swear it was like a bird in its mannerisms.  Foolish that I was, I forgot to take a read of it and Narukami while they were still around.  I got too caught up in the chaos of what was going on.  That won't happen again.  If I happen across Galo or another entity from the shadow realm that doesn't mind talking, I'll have to ask who it was.

Hm.  The entity was using scissor blades to fight.  And so does Midori.  And there's also this Toku Fukawa.  Does everyone use scissors now?

Fukawa.  Genocide Jack.  Omoikane help me, that's going to be a hard one to figure out.  I know my friends would probably believe me if I told them, but then what?  We're just a few high schoolers, and we have no proof.  Worse yet, it's just inviting trouble from Genocide Jack.  And we'd lose Midori's help when we truly need it.  That is, if she can be relied on.  What she said when we confronted her leaves me wondering at her sanity.  But really, I can't fault her for looking up to her mother.  I want to make my mother happy, too.  Not that my mother is anywhere close to hers.

Do I really want to antagonize someone who has killed so many people, and is it my place to bring her to justice?  We've been told we can't "play superhero."  We're not here to solve the world's problems, just to work with the shadow realm.  But why not try to help?  If Midori is to be believed, dozens of people are still going to die before Fukawa is done.  Why not try to put a stop to it?

Or at the least, maybe set them looking in the right direction.  Yes... that might be it.  If I at least drop a hint with someone who could get things done... and not have them think I'm responsible.  Well, it's helpful that I've been out here this whole time.  Maybe, maybe... Kurosawa.  Could he believe me if I told him?  It's worth a try, I suppose.

Good grief, Michiko told me I could catch Genocide Jack.  I swear, that girl's predictions are really coming true.  First, me becoming the "psychic detective," and now this.  If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was the one who was developing precognition, instead of me.

I really wasn't expecting this from Midori, though.  She hid it very well, and I haven't spent much time with her.  I guess I relied too much on my reading of her instead of looking into her character.  It's a good reminder that just because a person is an upright arcana, doesn't mean they're necessarily a good person.  Hm.  I wonder if the inverse is true.  That Atsuro person is an inverted Moon, and now that I've read up on the Moon, I wonder if I was a bit too harsh on him.

But Midori.  I wonder if she's involved with Dojima's murder.  How else would the killer know to carve the correct number in his forehead?  It can't be a coincidence.  Either the killer was watching Midori, or she's involved somehow.  But if that's the case, she's capable of killing us.  Why would she kill Dojima, though?  What did she have to gain?  Did she want to eliminate a policeman who's one of us?  That could put Kurosawa at risk if I told him anything about Fukawa.  I need to ponder this more, and keep an eye on her.

There may be a connection with Rosa, too.  They both appeared out of nowhere, and clearly seem to be from another time.  Both are the Knight of Swords, both seem to know each other.  Or at least, they figured out they have the same arcana and try to show that they deserve to hold it.  Hm.  But then Rosa was so hungry when I took her to see Shiwara-sensei, and Midori clearly hasn't been getting enough to drink.

How very odd.  I could understand them having troubles getting food or drink because they're not actual students here, but to have one lacking one and the other lacking the other?  They seem to be too antagonistic to share with each other, unless it's all a show.  Shiwara-sensei did say that something is shielding Rosa, and Midori seems to have some skill in magic.

I wonder, why is the government hiding news about Genocide Jack?  Are they just trying to prevent panic, or is there something more?

Well, it's not like the government agents on campus are going to say anything.  They pose too much of a risk as it is.  I get why they're on campus, but I still wish they weren't.  It's even more unsettling to think that they were sent here by the Diet.  We've done too much to attract attention, and the Event may only make it worse.  Just TRY to keep your head down, avoid attention, and hope this all blows over. ... Or maybe they know the Event is coming and they're preparing for the cover-up that they're expecting will be needed.  I'm not sure what's worse to contemplate: that they don't know what's coming, or that they do.

At least we'll get some time away from things for a bit.  A trip to the mountains to ski with everyone!  This could be fun, right?  Michiko may be there, too!  I've only been skiing a couple times, and I never was really good at it.  Hopefully I won't make too much of a fool of myself.  Maybe I'll stay in the lodge.  Oh, but I'll need to get some clothes to wear.  Misha would probably know where to go for those.  She certainly didn't waste any time dragging me off to find a swimsuit for the onsen.

[Kisako smiles to herself again, but it fades quickly with her next ruminations.]

I'm glad to hear the Iwakos are doing well.  I hope Shizune's family is alright.  Of course my mother would want to know the details of what's going on.  She always did want to keep her position secure at the top.  I shouldn't have agreed to inform her if I heard anything at the ski lodge.  That would mean I would be going behind my friend's backs.  It would be betraying them and their trust in me.  No one trusts me once they know me, and yet they do.  I would be giving that up, for what?  A chance that my mother might see me as potentially useful in her own schemes?  Or maybe she'll actually see I'm not all bad?  Maybe it would be a start for her to see me as something more than a freak?

Obviously, getting good grades isn't enough to make them happy.  They expect it of me now, since I've always been at the top of the class.  So I'll have to do something beyond that to show them that I'm worthy of their love.  I'll figure something out.  It's not like the situation is going to get any worse as I think on it.

[The sound of leaves crunching under footsteps draws Kisako out of her reverie.  She opens her eyes to see Kaeta looking down at her.  Clearly, she was late for their patrol and he was coming to get her.  She smiles somewhat sheepishly and gets up, dusting herself off, and they depart.  A few moments after they set out, she sneaks a glance at him.]

I'm glad Kaeta's doing better.  Is it really true that he's recovered?  Not that it was ever simple, but is it really that simple?  I hope so.  He's becoming a good friend, and I'd like to keep him that way.  But I've already examined him, and he seems fine.  He'll know if I try again.  I'm just going to have to take him at his word.

[She turns her gaze back to watch where she's going, squinting into the rising sun, though Kaeta doesn't seem to mind it at all.  Minutes later, they disappear into the old library to start their duties once more.]

[superkisako]

[Melancholy rolls through Kisako like morning fog, turning every sense into a somber grey as she takes in the crime scene before her.] I was afraid this would happen.  It was his choice to follow this road, and yet I still feel responsible.  He wasn't ready.  If we hadn't told him... he might still be alive.  His blood is on my hands.

Dojima-sama... I'm so sorry.

[Kisako wraps her arms around her shoulders and stares at the body for a few seconds before shaking herself free.]

No, I can't.  I can't let this stop us.  Just standing here staring isn't going to change what happened.  There's a time to grieve, but right now it's time to find justice.  We need to find who did this.

[She unfolds her arms and bows deeply to the corpse in unspoken respect.  Her mind then clicks into gear, allowing her to set aside her sorrow and focus on the work ahead of her.  Quietly, she joins her friends in studying the scene, sharing what she finds and hearing their reports in return.]

Lacerations on the arms... clean edges, perfectly placed for a blade.  Same for the chest.  The attack likely continued after he couldn't lift his arms to resist anymore and then went to the pierce the back.  Or did they?  Was it just one person?  Or did one person overpower him from the front while another attacked from behind?  If just one person, I could swear they used a sword.  It fits the wounds, and who attacks with the cutting edge if they're just using a knife?  Far easier and faster just to try to stab than slash.

That would leave out Fudo and Kagami.  Maybe Miyashiro if there were two, since the spears could stab the back.  I don't know if Matsuda would get involved in this.  He seems too much of a director to do this himself.  Maybe Narukami?  Dojima was looking for him.  Maybe he didn't want to be found.  Adachi is here, too.  Wonder if he had something to do with it.

[Kisako slowly surveys the scene and spots the tell-tale iridescence of the oil slick trailing down the extension cord.]

So it was shadow realm influence.  But just here.  They wanted this to be here, likely came here from the shadow realm so they wouldn't be seen.  Clever.

Obviously, he's supposed to be found like this.  Whoever did this wanted us to see this picture, to say nothing about these numbers.  Hm... I don't recall the numbers from the tarot.  Strange.  Obviously it means something, but I can't tell what.  But the police won't understand the significance of the Hanged Man.  It's meant for us, to take our new ally from us.  The Hanged Man is Fudo, though.  It's certainly not Dojima, so this particular position likely is part of the message.  Maybe they're calling out the Hanged Man who has yet to appear for us, or maybe there's something deeper.

If I remember right, the Hanged Man speaks to submission and passiveness.  Are they trying to tell us to give up?  To accept what's going to happen?  It also mentions sacrifice.  Does that mean Dojima was a sacrifice?  A martyr?  Or am I reading too much into this?

But why go to all the trouble to stage this, if not for a message?  Or maybe they do want the police to find him?  It would make them start to question things and make it harder for us to operate.  They did say the world would remember, after all.  This isn't going to be easy to explain away.

And the keys... clearly supposed to be found.  It's too easy.  Which means they want us to go there.  Likely something's waiting for us when we get there.  But should we just walk into a trap?

[Kisako glances up, as if she would see the apartment from here.]

But we have to.  The police will go there, if they're not already there, and they're not prepared to face what's lying in wait.  How are we going to explain this to Kurosawa?  We need to keep him away from the apartment, and *then* we need to explain what we needed from there and why we were working with Dojima.  Awesome.

Just telling him that it's dangerous in the apartment isn't going to work.  They're supposed to go into danger instead of us, so it'll just make them want to keep us away while they look into it.  So then what?  I did tell him that we could give insight because of our collaboration.  Maybe say that something in the apartment would help make things clearer?

Of course, the information!  Dojima said he'd discovered something.  It's probably back in the apartment!  We need to find it before it's lost.  We can only hope that whoever killed him didn't know that he'd discovered something, or that they haven't escaped with it.  Oh no, the names!  Dojima had names of every arcana Kenpachi knew about, including those who don't know about the shadow realm!  Kenji, Rin, Hisao and Exellen.  They're all in danger if that list falls in their hands!

They're already there, so getting there fast probably isn't going to help.  Right now we need to be careful.  Be prepared for anything.  Perhaps Dojima has a little bit more to tell...

[After a second of hesitation, Kisako steels herself and stretches out a hand to catch a drop of Dojima's blood in her palm as it falls from his corpse.]

[superkisako]

[Kisako sits at her computer in the early morning hours, her fingers flying as she lets her thoughts tumble out, raw and uncensored.] I thought I'd never get to sleep again last night.  He almost tricked me!  How did I really think he was willing to shoot me?  What had I done?  But still, I was barely awake, and barely thinking.  Of course, that would explain why I followed him up to the roof and believed at first that he had a gun pointed at me.  But would that explain why I decided to talk to him?  Did he really need to know something he might not have been prepared for?  Will he expose us?

No... that look in his eyes.  He knew already.  He just needed confirmation.  Poor man was almost unhinged at that point.  Ten years carrying around the certainty that something was wrong, and to be the only person to know the truth.  I know what that's like.  I swear I could feel his pain and desperation.  I couldn't let him continue like that.  He's smart, though.  He knows that he can't expose us.  No one would believe him, and even if they did, he's one of us.  He would be condemning himself in the same breath, and for what gain?

But still, he is desperate.  Desperate to prove that he isn't crazy.  But prove to whom?  Himself?  How far would he go to know the truth?  He doesn't yet know how to cross over... at least I haven't told him.  I certainly hope Kenpachi hasn't.  Him going into the shadow realm on his own, if he could get there?  It would be a death sentence.  I made sure to tell him that it's dangerous, but I can't underestimate true determination.

Should I check on him?  It hasn't been that long, though, and he clearly wanted time to think things over.  Is it worth the risk to give him time to process everything?  Can we risk losing another major, especially one so potentially valuable? ... Come to think of it, why didn't we talk to him sooner?  He's a major, and one we could use to help us against the Event.  If he believes us and works with us, he could help us immensely.

But have I already gone too far without talking with the rest of the council?  Or have I simply begun recruiting another?  But will we just lose him in his search for his nephew?  Can he keep a focus on the true danger?  Will he be able to recognize that his nephew is no longer his nephew anymore?  Or am I speaking too soon?

Perhaps Narukami is still there.  Perhaps Dojima's certainty isn't without merit.  I can't deny that it would be nice to see one of them return, especially to one who so desperately wants it.  It could show that it's possible, too.  If one can return, maybe others can as well.  Then there are fewer in the shadow council to try to kill us.  We'll have that going for us, at least.

[The sunlight reflects against one of her CD cases and into her eyes.  She lifts her arm to shield her vision, only to be greeted with the sight of purple vines crawling over her skin.  She lets out a sigh and moves the CD case before she begins writing again.]

I'm not sure what to think of this situation.  For a while I thought it would be neat if I had a companion--- no, acquaintance like the Purple Hermit.  JoeStar clearly trusted it, judging by the book.  It seemed to help him immensely, and I hoped that it would me as well.  Now that I've made my acquaintance... I can only assume this is the Purple Hermit, given it matches the description and was in the book that talked about it... It's a lot more unsettling than I'd anticipated.

[She rubs the back of her head and neck for a few seconds.]

Who gives up control of a portion of their mind, especially someone like me who makes so much use of it?  Wait, that sounded arrogant.  I mean, who gives up a portion of their mind, especially someone like me who uses it so differently from others?  What did I give up... Well, I didn't exactly give it up so much as you took over.  And what did you take over?  What part of me no longer exists because you're there to take its place?  Don't think I'm not grateful for your help, but it's not every day one's body becomes host to an entity who didn't even buy her dinner.  At least, I think that's how the Americans say it.

[She slowly turns her forearm over and flexes her fingers, watching as the vines skitter to avoid the sunlight.]

And just what are you doing to me?  Now I'm starting to see and hear things before they happen!  I mean, that's pretty awesome, but still!  First I started to get a firm grasp on remotely viewing people --- wait, hang on.  How am I seeing people when no one else is with them?  Am I... whoa!  Am I projecting my consciousness?  I thought I was just picking up on their sensory experiences!  How am I--- I have no idea, but that changes things.  That's... rather amazing.  But am I really seeing what's really there, or are you showing me what I want to see?

And then entering Kaeta's mind.  How did I DO that?  That was before you got here, so I'm pretty sure that was my own ability.  I mean, I think that's what I did.  People seemed surprised to see me when I pulled back from Kaeta's mind, so I can only assume that I'd gone somewhere.  And that... well, that opens up a whole lot of other possibilities.  Yes, I know, I've thought about the possibility of control.  And it's tempting.  It would be to anyone.  But... how can I live with myself if I start meddling in their heads like that?  Wouldn't that deprive them of what makes them human?  Their choice?

And then you came along, and you brought all kinds of turmoil, and me starting to perceive the future.  As if being able to work in other people's minds wasn't enough!  Not that I'm complaining, mind you.  But how can I tell the difference between an echo of the future and something that's really happening?  Does this mean that the future is set and unchangeable, or is it merely a reflection of a possibility?

All of these new abilities are amazing.  It's been a rather long and eventful week!  It's all going so fast.  This power... I never dreamed I was capable of this much!  Was this always a part of me and I'm just now discovering it, or is it you as well?  Can I really trust what's going on, and will it always be reliable?

[She narrows her eyes briefly, but then looks pensive.]

But... It's done.  At least Akira and Michiko didn't panic when they saw you.  Akira seemed surprised to see you.  She called you a stand, a manifestation of the user's internal world, one that responds to the user's conscious and subconscious desires.  That sounds a lot like the shadow realm.  It's made up of our collective conscious and subconscious.  What if these stands are actually shadow entities?  It would correspond with Strauss' theory of people working with them, and would explain a bit of why we could see them in the shadow realm.

But you... Why did you remain, and how are you still here?  If you're here to help, then I'd be glad to welcome you.  If you're JoeStar's stand, how did you separate from him and come find me?  And what are you here for?  Can you communicate with me somehow?  Are we already communicating and I just don't know it?  I mean, how does one talk to vines?  Do you have a name?  Why do you keep sending me thoughts of such dark things?  Killing people?  Jumping out of windows to escape detection?  Taking away my pai--- okay, that one was rather tempting.  But why?

[She sits back in her chair and stares at the ceiling for several minutes, mulling things over.  Suddenly, a piece slides into place with an almost audible *click* and her expression clouds.]

No, it can't be.  But it makes sense.  If you are a stand, which you probably are, then you're enacting my desires.  You're telling me what I want, even if I don't know it.  You're trying to help, somehow, but in ways I don't even know.  So what you're showing me, they're my thoughts, or you're picking up on what I want and trying to tell me how to get it.  Am I truly that violent, that I would think to kill someone just to avoid something I fear?  Am I truly that desperate, that I would think that jumping out of a fourth floor window would be preferable to talking to someone?  I should be better than that.

But is that what's going on?  Or are you just trying to lead me deeper into fear and paranoia?  Well, it won't work.  I'm not the bravest person in the world, but even I know that's going too far.  Have I really become such a frightened person?  But who wouldn't be at least a little scared when faced with what I see?  So much danger, so much death, so many mysteries.

... But how far have we come in this time?  How much have we learned, and how many times have we heard that things are different?  Clearly we're doing something --- we.

[The cursor blinks at her for several minutes.]

Yes... we.  We.  WE.  That's it.  Maybe I'm trying to do too much on my own, taking too much on myself.  There's so much that needs to be done that I can't do alone, and yet here I am, shut in until I'm almost like Kenji.  Now that's a scary thought if ever I've had one.  Am I going to take on the Event by myself?  Of course not.  So why am I acting like it?

Okay.  Maybe they won't ostracize me if they see you, but I still don't yet know for sure what you are.  So until I see Shiwara-sensei and maybe Akira, I still need to keep my distance.  Wonder if Akira will tell that Jiro fellow about you.  That might make things interesting.  Heh, she probably wouldn't believe me if I told her about the Emperor.  Would she believe me if I told her that the "psychic stuff" in the book wasn't a lie at all?  Maybe I'll keep that under my hat for now.  In any event, let's see what Shiwara-sensei has to say about you.  Won't she be surprised?  She can't think I'm turning into a carbon copy now!

[For the first time in a while, Kisako smiles a genuine, unforced smile, though it is brief.  She erases her writings and shuts down her computer, as it's almost time to head over to meet Shiwara-sensei.  As she gets up, she accidentally sends a stack of printouts of tarot card interpretations flying, and they spill to the ground.  By chance, one spins around to land before her, showing her an inverted Hanged Man.  She bends down to pick it up, and she stares at it for a while as her thoughts race.]

"Is that... could that be it?  He was once an upright Sun, right?  Now he's inverted.  So is Elizabeth.  And he wanted us to become mirror images.  Are they all inverted?  What does that mean for Adachi, Galo and the nurse?"

[She frowns at the idea, but there's little time to ponder it.  Her psychology teacher is waiting!  She gathers her things up, tugs the collar and left cuff of her turtleneck into place, and heads out the door.]

[superkisako]

"Sei wo uke sorezore ga jinsei wo ouka nou no BURAKKU BOKKUSU wo shiru sore wa kou ka? "You wa RIMITTO RAIN wo subete ryouga saa ikou ka fumidasu sore wa kyou da." ("Born into this world, each person rejoices life. Knowing the brain's black box, is that happiness? "The point is to surpass all the limit lines. C'mon shall we go? We'll step forward, that's what today's for.") --UVERworld, CORE PRIDE

—————————————

Maybe someday it won't be so hard to say goodbye to her best friend.  Maybe someday she'll be able to uncoil her tightly wound spring.

Not tonight.

Tonight, Kisako stared at the empty computer screen.  The chat with Michiko had closed long ago as her friend went to bed, but her finger paused on the mouse to shut her computer down.  Don't be silly, she told herself, you have to go to bed.  You can talk to her again.  And yet... With a quiet sigh, she finally logged off and dislodged herself from the chair.  Sleep suddenly sounded good, especially after the trauma of her mother's visit.

She slipped into her pajamas and meandered toward her bed, only to be greeted by a stuffed Totoro wearing a huge grin.  She paused, and faintly smiled for a moment.  Picking up the toy, she closed her eyes and hugged it close until her senses were bathed in the scent of sakura blossoms.  A warmth spread across her face, and opening her eyes once more, she had to squint against the sunlight.

A sakura tree stood in full bloom just outside the window, the spire of Tokyo Tower barely visible in the distance.  Michiko perched on the bed opposite hers, grinning mischievously.  "I betcha can't guess what I got you for your birthday!"  Kisako felt herself smiling in return, and heard herself say, "I bet I can!"  Michiko gasped in mock horror.  "But you'll ruin the fun!"

Both girls dissolved in laughter at that point.  They knew it was hopeless for Michiko to keep anything a secret, but they didn't care.  She hopped off of her bed and climbed up on Kisako's, one arm behind her back.  "I gotta try, you know?  One of these days, I'll surprise you!"  She hummed a simple melody, two series of six notes.  Kisako giggled and sang, "To to ro, Totoro!" before Michiko joined in.  "Lived in the forest since ancient times, my neighbor Totoro!  Totoro can only visit you when you're a child.  It's a wondrous meeting!"

All at once, a small stuffed Totoro appeared in Kisako's lap.  "Happy birthday!" Michiko crowed proudly.  "I got you a friend to keep you company when I can't be there!"  Kisako felt herself smile again.  "Thank you, Michiko.  He's perfect!"  Kisako gathered the toy in one arm and reached over with the other to hug her friend.  "I'm lucky to have a friend like you."

Kisako blinked, and suddenly the memory vanished.  The moon stood sentinel in the night, and she found herself alone, curled up on her bed with the small stuffed toy in her arms.  She hugged it fiercely, so tightly that its grin distorted almost into a grimace.  Michiko was still here, in the form of a tiny Totoro.  Slowly, Kisako's solitude lifted and her heartache eased.  It wouldn't be the first time she'd fallen asleep holding the plush creature.  Likely it wouldn't be the last.

Kisako was still curled up with the Totoro at midnight when a loud pounding at her door yanked her awake.  Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she got to her feet, dressed and answered the door.  She blinked in surprise.  "Dojima-san?  Is something wrong?"

[superkisako]

I know The proof is out there The hidden answer That someone left there -- Nothing's Carved in Stone, Out of Control

--------------------------

Close your eyes.  Rest... be still.

Listen as your heart sings in your ears.  Listen as the air flows in your lungs.  Let the world fade away, powerless to strip you of your concentration.  All that matters now is your heartbeat, and your breath.

Inhale.  Exhale.  Two pulses, now three.  Feel your heart slow to meet your breath's demands.  Control your breath, and control yourself.

--------------------------

Her face tilted upwards, bathed in warm sunlight she no longer felt.  Even the soft *tack-tack-tack* of a jogger on the nearby track couldn't rouse her from her trance.  A slight smile played across her lips.  Finally, here, now, the cacophony in her mind stilled into a dull murmur.  Not for many weeks had she found such relief from the constant turmoil.  Each morning, then, had become a time of solace as well as work, a time of trial and serenity.

Her limbs lying leaden beside her, only the rise and fall of her chest with each breath betrayed that she was alive.  Slowly, she felt her mind clearing as her resistances melted away like so much snow in the spring.  A faint thrumming plucked at the back of her mind, and all was ready.

From a pinpoint in the darkness, images, sounds, emotions and other sensations flared to life in her mind's eye, flickering from one to another.  Dew clinging to maple trees outside a window.  Sitting down to breakfast with a circle of friends.  A fragment of the local radio station's favorite song of the week.  The taste of tea turned bitter from brewing too long.  A deep, seething hatred of alarm clocks.

She never could quite put the experience to words, the feeling of stepping outside of herself to tap into the minds of others.  Mindwalking was the closest she could come to describing it, but even that was a pale reflection.  Where normally her mind was flooded with a buzz of thoughts, all fighting for her attention, now she took in each and let it become a part of her.  At once, she felt more connected to and yet more distant from others.  Secrets laid bare before her, humanity stripped of its facade and artifice.  Images of pain and grief quickly heralded glimpses of joy and friendship, even love.  The intensity of the experiences sometimes shattered her focus, leaving her gasping for breath and staring at the sky for several minutes.

She had only recently begun the practice, but she was gaining strength by the day.  It only took a few moments today to gain her focus, and the sensations came in greater clarity than ever before.  With effort, she was even starting to exercise some control, lingering to savor a certain image, or seeking a specific person or experience.  What more could be possible, if she kept pushing herself?

So she laid in the grass, drinking in the sights, the sounds, the feelings.  So she would have remained, had a passing student not nudged her with his foot and pulled her out of her trance.  Eyes fluttering open, she waved off any concerns of her napping and caught a glimpse at his watch.  Time to get to class!  Quickly, she gathered her things and joined him in walking to the main building as her visions faded into oblivion, replaced by the familiar hum of daily life.  She slipped in her earbuds to drown out the background noise.  Practice would have to wait for later.

[superkisako]

"Mou modore nai karamari sugi te" ("I can't return anymore.  I got too entangled in it.") -- the GazettE, Suicide Circus

  Was this the eighth time she'd read that sentence, or the ninth?  It was hard to tell at this point.  Late nights and early mornings had left Kisako in a constant haze of exhaustion that no amount of tea could dispel.  The fourth year two tables over not-so-quietly panicking over his upcoming university entrance exams didn't help her growing headache, either.  In hindsight, coming to the library when everyone would be furiously trying to finish their pre-term homework was probably not one of her best ideas.

  A sigh of resignation crossed her lips as she slid the book closed.  It was painfully obvious she wasn't going to get any appreciable research done here tonight.  She gathered up her books and notes as the track changed on her music player.  The GazettE.  Nice.  Hopefully that would help drown out the world.  She waved a quick good-bye to Yuuko as she hurried out the door.

  Clutching her books to her chest, she walked toward the dorms.  As was becoming habit, she kept a wary eye out for Brando.  That man -- if a vampire's head grafted onto another person's body could be considered a man -- was entirely too dangerous to confront right now, especially on her own.  Too many complexities, too many unanswered questions.  Luckily, she spotted him entering the old library, and she was able to slip into the girl's dorms unnoticed.

  There was a time when she wasn't constantly on edge, looking over her shoulder for the next threat to try to eat her face.  Had it only been a couple months since she'd fallen into Yamaku and its student council?  Of course, before Yamaku she was scared of being discovered.  Even now she had nightmares of being kidnapped for some government science experiment.  No matter how much she told herself it wouldn't happen, she couldn't shake the dread of being known as a monster.

  Three flights up and she was home again.  Here, at least, she would find sanctuary and quiet the turmoil in her mind.  Here, her thoughts would finally be her own.  The keys rattled in the lock, and she removed her earbuds as she stepped into the room, only to be greeted by a rustle of paper underfoot.  Apparently she had mail while she was out.

  Flicking the lights on, she dropped her books on the desk and returned to the new arrival.  A letter -- no, a card, neatly sealed in a red paper envelope.  Immediately, her heart sank.  Slipping the card out of its envelope, she was greeted by her parents' smiling faces.  "Good luck in the new term!  Study hard and make us proud!"

  So that was it.  The traditional card at the beginning of the term that would be her parents' sole communications with her except for emergencies or other major happenings.  She also knew better than to expect an invitation to return home for winter break.  She dropped the card on her desk next to the stack of books and collapsed in the nearby chair, turning a vacant stare out the window.

  As much as she had changed, as much as she had grown, nothing was different with her family.  She was still the meddling little girl who poked around where she didn't belong and knew too much.  She was still different.  Abnormal.  It's why she was here, after all.  They wanted her to become 'normal,' like everyone else.

  A sudden torrent of rage crashed through her, and the card crushed itself into a ball as her hands closed into fists.  Why should she have to deny herself?  Why did they get to live happily while she was being punished for exposing her father's transgressions?  Why was it not enough that she was their daughter, and she wanted them to be proud of her?  She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms, quietly sobbing her heartbreak.

  Maybe they would be proud of her now, fighting to save lives and avert catastrophe, but she knew she could never tell them.  Even if they believed her, the idea of their daughter embracing her abnormality to face a dangerous world they had no idea existed would simply be too much for them to bear.  They would try to take her out of Yamaku, of course, but she couldn't let that happen.  Too many lives depended on it.

  Many agonizing minutes later, the tears subsided, and she began to breathe again.  She reached a shaky hand for a tissue to dry her eyes and nose, and glanced out the window again.  Students strolled across the quad in the moonlight, laughing, enjoying the company of friends, oblivious to the world.  Happy.

  She wished she could join them, but that could never be.  She glanced over at the books on her desk, the research waiting to be done.  Her bones ached in protest at the thought and screamed for rest, but she sharply quelled the idea.  She drew a deep breath, taking in the scent of the old books, slipped on her earbuds, and settled in for yet another long night.  She might never be normal, but perhaps she could find some contentment in helping them stay safe.