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Lonnie

I don’t have much else to do and I’ve seen some mostly friendly discussion on this topic so I wanted to throw my hat into the ring. A welcome distraction from less interesting fandom debates.

Lonnie Byers. Dead beat, absent father of Jonathan and Will. It seems from the very getgo, Lonnie and Joyce’s relationship was on the rocks and yet somehow he got her pregnant. Twice.

In some ways…. Lonnie is very representative of my own family situation. Constant arguing, kids being put in the middle of the conflict. Mom raises the two kids all on her own (in my case, we had government assistance). I don’t have a volatile relationship with my dad like Will and Jonathan though. He’s never laid a hand on me, he was just… EXTREMELY absent and I have accepted that many times in his life, I’m sure he wished my brother and I didn’t exist. (people do change though, my brother and I kinda chose to keep our dad in our lives and it’s generally worked out and much better now that we’re grown so my parents don’t have to talk to one another)

But, I can tell. Lonnie is NOT like my father. Lonnie appears to have more issues than just being absent and a toxic relationship with his babies mama.

It seems to me, Lonnie is irresponsible with his money and constantly put his family’s financial health at risk. It seems like he has/had a drinking problem or possibly something more (drugs). But one of the most OBVIOUS things to me is, I think Lonnie was physically abuse to go along with the emotional kind.

There is no picture perfect definition of abuse. It manifests in various ways. Do I think Lonnie beat his family until they were black and blue with constant blood and scars? No, that pretty obviously isn’t the case.

Lonnie’s physical abuse seems to manifest as:

Pushing his family around

“Wrestling” which is actually just pinning them forcefully and pretend to be playing around

Corporal punishment. I was going to say this is a given, it was the 80′s. Even I got “whoopins”. But I know that’s probably not as common as I used to think

Physically imposing/threatening. Even if he doesn’t touch them, Lonnie was/is bigger than all of them. (Even with Will’s growth spurt, if he’s only the same height as Jonathan, Lonnie is still bigger and stronger)

Obviously, none of these are the intense stories you hear about abusive dead beat dads. You could almost say it was tame. Some would say none of these classify as physical abuse, but I think it does.

You can see it in the show.

Lonnie’s first appearance in the show is shoving Jonathan hard against the wall and then complementing his ability to finally push him off. Which means in the past, he has probably pinned Jonathan to the wall or the floor or whatever before many many times and Jonathan wasn’t strong enough to push him off. Note, Jonathan was 9 years old when Lonnie left and Will was 5.

When Joyce and Lonnie are arguing in the house, he technically doesn’t put a hand on her, but it does tower over her quite a lot. Maybe in the past that would’ve gotten to her (my mom is even shorter than Winona and she comments a lot about how much she hates how some taller people use their height to get at her. I honestly don’t think most people do it on purpose though. Lol)

Joyce uses a hammer to force Lonnie out of the house. When Hopper later comes to tell her she’s right, she’s literally prepared to use it to attack. I don’t know about you but we know Joyce and it’s not really her style to threaten non-threatening people with weapons. No matter how much she and Hopper argued in season 3, she didn’t pick up a knife to make him do what she wanted.

And then, we’ve got Will. Sadly, we never saw the two interact on screen (love me some family drama and trauma!). Will is the most timid kid you ever did see. I explained my family situation to you guys early for this very purpose, Will is trying to do what me and my brother did.

When I was younger, I was terrified of rejection from my dad. I did whatever he wanted to do to “have fun”. I watched what he watched. Went where he went. Never raised a major complaint to his face always afraid he’d disappear again or say aloud he didn’t want me. People pleaser to a fault. 

That is Will, but worse. He probably took on these traits not only because he’s afraid of rejection from his father (which has happened his entire life), but also doing or saying the wrong thing resulted in backlash from said father. Was it physical? I don’t know, I do get the feeling Will did not get nearly as physical as Jonathan and Joyce though.

Now that I’ve said all this, does this make Joyce weak? Does it make her a bad mother?

No! I don’t think so. Even if Lonnie sometimes physically abused her, it doesn’t mean she sat there and took it. Joyce is a small tiger. Despite her size, she will fight for herself and her kids and I’m 100% sure she did, which is why Lonnie “left”. (I have a headcanon that Joyce gave him an ultimatum and his punk ass couldn’t take it so he left thinking Joyce would come crawling back to him. Which maybe she did once or twice because she was desperate for financial stability)

Joyce needed Lonnie at some point for financial stability. That’s the only reason she kept him around at some point. When she didn’t need that anymore, she was done with him and the constant battles. Toxic relationship for sure for sure.

When people say Lonnie was a physical abuser, it isn’t to make the Byers seem weak willed or even to say they have to be protected. It’s an explanation as to why they are the way they are (Joyce and Jonathan are fighters, Will is a bit more timid). It doesn’t mean they laid down and took the abuse. It doesn’t mean we need to handle them like fragile sculptures.

It means the Byers are tough. If Lonnie is reintroduced, it would certainly be an antagonist force, but he would be met with suspicion and antagonism. Lonnie’s only route back into their life…. is people pleaser Will.

This is why I kinda want Lonnie back. Joyce and Jonathan are already firmly in the “screw you, I’ll fite you” camp, I want Will to be there to. The writers just need to give him the opportunity….

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#get yourself someone who looks at you the same way that hopper looks at joyce

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female awesome meme: [4/5] warrior characters | Nancy Wheeler (Stranger Things)

I don’t think my parents ever loved each other. They must’ve married for some reason. My mom was young. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac… and started their nuclear family. Screw that. Yeah. Screw that.

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all ya’ll speculating that Hopper will be brainwashed and try to kill Joyce

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thinking about the physics of the eventual jopper kiss w david harbour, 6’3, and miss winona ryder standing at a whopping 5’3

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If ST4 doesn’t end with Hopper picking Joyce up at 7pm to take her to Enzo’s and then after the date they drive back to watch Miami Vice with El and fall asleep on the couch in each other’s arms then what even is the point?

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Heathers (1988) Michael Lehmann

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Lol I know someone like this😭

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Heathers (1988)

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Heathers (1988) dir. Michael Lehmann

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#mood

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the two sides of joyce byers

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Jim Hopper & Joyce Byers being absolute disasters in Stranger Things 3

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guess im back just to look at all joyce byers stuff ok bye

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is there ever that one celebrity that no matter what mood youre in, if you feel like crap you just see a picture of them and you just smile and think “thank you for existing” because they have made your day brighter even if you don’t really know them 

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A+ Casting director. 

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Here's my hot take. I don't accept criticism