survivingandenduring - Tumblr blog

survivingandenduring · 9 hours

Text

This series is just so wonderful; the slowest and most tentative of moves

And HELLO!!

sexy milling of a cow.. yeah.. wasn’t ready for that moment. 😵‍💫

Im love with this. It’s so evocative

Western Skies: Ch 4

Din Djarin x F!Reader. Western!AU. Series Masterlist. Masterlist.

Warnings: Grief; allusions to trauma (none occurs, implications are that Reader expects abuse due to past abuse); fake marriage/marriage of convenience; Reader is described as having hair and a menstrual cycle.

Summary: While you prepare to stay, Din prepares to leave, or: yearning for things we cannot have.

WC: 6.2k

Note: Follow @jules-onpaper for updates! Dividers by @mykento. Thanks so much to @frannyzooey for the encouraging beta read and the Van ladies for their constant support 🩵 Tagging cowboy girlies (gn) below (let me know if you would prefer not to be tagged):

@secretelephanttattoo @imaswellkid @fuckyeahdindjarin @goodwithcheese @maggiemayhemnj @kedsandtubesocks

Din has needed to leave for days now. Karga had been insistent the last time he had visited town. The window of opportunity was closing.

Instead he stays put, observing you closely without watching, tracking your movements through the house and the yard by the swish of your skirt, the trail of water drips you leave behind, the low chatter to the kid. Mostly he sticks by the barn, mending leather; you do not come outside as often if he trails the yard.

Din thinks he catches you watching him too. He feels it seep through the windows, your doubt and irritation and all of the clear signs you’re exactly where you don’t want to be, mourning everything you’ve ever had, and rightfully resenting his making you stay here when you could be on your way to the only other family you’ve ever known. You do not know he has the money to have sent you on your way already, though he certainly does – that it’s only your bargain and his selfishness keeping you here.

If you do suspect it, you don’t bother voicing your displeasure. You’re busy working yourself to the bone in chores and housework. In fact, your first few days at the homestead, he wavers on the knife’s edge of physically stopping you.

You get up so early he wonders if you’re sleeping at all. You haul water for the washing up. He sees you at it, up and about before he is, smoke from your hearth trickling in a lazy trail up into the speckled dome of early dawn, your shoulders wavering to and fro under the weight of the buckets. You’re so small beneath the weight of the yoke, it takes everything in him not to step to you and take it from you. But he knows you want work of your own to feel useful, knows that you resent the weight of your grief and you are fighting it tooth and nail. He doesn’t know if you are winning, but he knows it is a battle worth fighting.

So when you’ve returned, sweating and rubbing at your shoulders with a wince, he calls you over. That morning he teaches you how to feed and care for the cuckoo hens, and the next day, to feed the cows and hogs.

The next time he catches you up with the dawn, he teaches you to milk.

“C’mon,” he jerks his head toward the barn. You freeze like a hunted thing as you always do when he speaks to you, but you let your bundle of logs fall back onto the pile with a wooden clatter and follow him without protest.

The barn’s hay smell does only a little to cover the smells of the animals, but if it perturbs your city sensibilities you don’t comment on it. Din leads you over to the spotted Jersey and pats her down a bit, letting her get used to him.

He sets down the pail and squares up on the stool, tugging a few fine streams of milk into the dirt to clear out any debris from the teat. There’s a thin metallic sound as white streams trickle rhythmically into its tin bottom. You watch him for a bit, and then in a frigid morning whisper,

“She won’t kick me?”

Din shakes his head, bristled cheek rubbing against the cow’s warm side. “No, s’long as you go slow and let her know where you are. She’s gentle, this one.”

“Does she have a name?”

“No.”

There’s a small pause.

“Why not?”

Instead of answering, he stands with a grunt and beckons you over to the stool. You approach warily, despite his reassurance that the bovine placidly chewing her cud wouldn’t harm you.

“All right, you try.”

Biting your lip, you do. You tug, but nothing happens. Your forehead creases. You try again and the cow snorts gently, as though perplexed at the holdup. He sinks to one knee beside you to watch. Ah, that’s it. You’re squeezing your little hand around the teat with all of your fingers, tweaking your wrist deftly, as though you’re–

“Here.” It comes out more gruffly than intended, and you stiffen for a second as he wraps his hand around your cold little fingers, showing you which grip to use, the pressure, the movement, firmly insisting his thoughts not wander and therefore filling his own head with images of your nimble fingers he’s going to see branded behind his eyelids tonight, he’s sure. With his help, the milk lets down. Once you’ve got it, he rises to his feet and watches you fill the pail.

When you’re done, you pat the cow’s side as if to thank her for behaving during your first milking, and the soft little secret smile he catches you wearing makes his chest fill with something that satisfies. Something like pride. Something like–

He sighs, scrubs his beard with the back of his hand, looks out into the pinkening sky with a deep inhale. The cool morning air clears his head. Somewhat.

After that, he gives you the charge of the chickens and milking, standing by to help if you need it. With a full load of chores, he’d hoped that you would tire yourself out and take a well-earned break at last, but he hasn’t found you out by the creek once since your first morning here. Morning, noon, and night, you cook meals of dubious consistencies. All day, you chase after the kid – much more deftly with your new moccasins, he notes – as though nervous he’ll disappear.

When at last his frustrated concern outweighs his sense and he offers to haul water and logs, you give him a steely no, thank you and continue to do it yourself, no matter how long it takes you to stagger through the yard. You won’t let him near the hearth either; it has quickly become your territory. Should he even step close to it, he can feel your glare burning into the hairs on the back of his neck. It raises his hackles just the same as a wolf’s eyes on him out on the trail. Now, as then, he steers himself and the kid well clear of the threat and keeps an eye out for any mischief.

You’re a little less wary with the animals each day, but you cook meals and you wash dishes with a focus that ought to leave burn marks behind you. Your hands are red and raw after, as though you’re attempting to scrub yourself clean of some evil he has no idea how you could have come to possess. During your first week you take on what you call “fall cleaning”, despite the fact that the prairie’s heat has barely dipped from oppressive to brisk and the September days are sunny and bright.

Whatever “fall cleaning” is, what results is a cataclysm, with many plumes of dirt any prairie dust up would envy and much moving of furniture and scattering of quite settled families of bugs and spiders. Din takes Grogu into the barn and fixes harnesses. He senses that you’re beating at something harder to reach than the cobwebs, and surmises that you want to be alone for it.

Also, he thinks wryly, rescuing the curious child from the cuckoo cockerel (or rather vice versa, he hardly knows which cawing heathen is worse off) for the third time, it’s perhaps a kindness that the kid’s well out of your way for a day. He’s certainly felt the benefits of having long hours free from having to check every two minutes for a small hand to be where it shouldn’t, to feel the first stab of anxiety at every cry lest it be really bad this time, to feed or clean or soothe. It’s one more item on the list of things he doesn’t know how to express gratitude to you for.

That evening when it seems safe to approach, he has to admit the cabin does look more tidy, though he hardly sees what all the fuss was about. You’ve beaten away the dust and rearranged the room to your liking. The rug that usually caught all the crumbs from dinner now lies in front of the hearth. He doesn’t have much in the way of dishes, but you’ve arranged the nicer ones, two of cheap tin and two of chipped porcelain – in a row on the mantel. They glimmer gently in the evening light, making the place look more like a proper parlor than it’s ever been.

You ask him in a roundabout way if he might hang the nails for the cooking utensils lower, so you can reach them. He agrees at once. He’s ready to do anything you need to get you comfortable here if it will get you out from under that shroud of weariness, ease the hollows beneath your eyes that he fears if touched would bruise and blister like fruit gone to seed too soon.

But that evening, you fall asleep right at the table, your cheek squished flat on one hand, the fork with your last piece of pancake you’d been drowsily offering the kid drooping from the other. Grogu watches with solemn disdain as the food drops uselessly onto the plank floor.

It takes several calls to wake you. “Girl. Girl.” He almost reaches for the delicate curve of your shoulder, the wrinkle of cotton where the borrowed dress doesn’t quite fit you. When you do wake up it’s with a start, a huff of annoyance as your tired gaze slides to his and he looks away, mindful of the beast he has woken.

“What? Now you have nothing to say? You look as though you do.”

Din works his jaw and looks down at his tin plate. It’s still something he’s getting used to, being observed bare faced like this by you. Your eyes are so bright and direct, staring him down as though you have every intention of seeing him clean through to the blood and sinew, through to every mistake and sin he’s ever committed. But this time, instead of wishing for the cover of his hat, his bandana, he steels himself and meets your eyes. His heart thumps uncomfortably hard in his chest.

“I want you to take it easy from now on. You’ve done enough. You’re pushin’ things too hard. Gonna hurt yourself.”

Now as always, your lips part quickly, baring your teeth. He thinks you feared he would strike you during your first days here. If you had ever had cause to be struck by that dead husband of yours, Din privately considers him better off lying washed up somewhere on the riverbank. But now that you’re seemingly satisfied that Din’s not going to do anything close to beating you, your teeth are sharp and ready to bite.

This time, though, he’s ready, even as you begin by sharpening words out of his own mouth.

“You said it was going to be a hard winter, I’m doing my part. You still have to show me how to pickle the vegetables, and I still don’t know how to make jam, and-”

“No,” he cuts you off sharply. Your expression breaks and freezes. He’s never been this firm with you. He sighs through his nose, glances at the kid. Unafraid, but curious at his tone, no doubt. Kid’s eyes are like planets.

“There’s some time,” he says more calmly. “We’ve got time ‘til all that.” When you’re about to protest again, he presses, “Ain’t gonna make spring come faster for working yourself half to death. Can’t do nothin’ for the winter or for the kid if you’re laid up. Cabin’s clean enough, so just worry about the regular chores a while. The rest will keep.”

Your eyes get very bright, almost glassy in the firelight, and if you were another woman he suspects you might have cried. But you’re not weeping. You’re wringing your brain for any other excuse to get what you want.

It’s surprising, really, that he finds your indignation somewhat endearing. You’re just like Grogu when he’s prevented from something he wants. Hot and determined that you’re going to have it, and hang what Din says. So he doubles down. He’ll take the snips you give him, the way you try, subtly, to draw him into a fight that you will lose. Maker be thanked you have no idea how much practice he has at resisting exactly that. May you never know. You’d run a thousand miles away.

“It’s final.”

He returns to his plate. It’s best if he reminds everyone at this table who’s in charge here. He needs to keep you both safe, healthy, and he will not let you work yourself into an illness or injury that Maker knows might kill you out here.

Your scowl deepens, but you rise from the table with the dishes without further argument.

He tries to go on chewing. His appetite has waned, and the… whatever it is you’ve put on his plate isn’t helping. It used to be meat, he thinks. Something squeaks against his back molars and he pauses a moment. Swallows. He’s had worse and survived. Besides, he didn’t keep rat poison in stock on account of the kid. And now because of you.

Din snorts to himself, and earns a look from you. Not a glare, but suspicious all the same, like the moon’s fingernail peeking over the horizon; the bright of your eyes over the smooth curve of your shoulder. Quickly, he goes back to chewing over the meat.

What are you thinking? He has no idea, except that you’d clearly prefer if he wasn’t close by. You have people back East. Are you fond of them? They of you? Do you miss them, or do you return to them out of duty and obligation, because there is simply no one else who would shelter you at their hearth?

It must be a little like being a foundling in the covert, he thinks, except that the rules are different among your people. Women without husbands or fathers or brothers to protect them lose status, as though the ability of a man to care for them made them more virtuous. Your women are not permitted to be warriors in their own right.

This is a shame, in his opinion. If you knew any better, if you had any concept of what a Child of the Watch was truly capable of, would you take pride in being a Mandalorian’s wife? He doesn’t know of any Mandalorian women who are not trained in combat, but supposedly there were some once, before the Fall.

Devoted. Strong. Mothers of warriors.

Needless to say, he doesn’t tell you this; you don’t want to hear it. And he shouldn’t be thinking about the dreams of a younger man, anyway. He hands you his plate.

“Thank you for the meal,” he says, as he has each time before.

No response. Just a tired look, as if you wonder why the hell he’s bothering. The tin plates clatter together noisily.

He says goodnight and again, you do not answer. On his bedroll in the lean-to, he watches the smoke from the hearth dissipate slowly and thinks of you lying in bed. Do you cry there? Do you mourn the man you lost? Or do you simply think, as he does? Perhaps you’re also awake, staring sightlessly, imagining the patterns of the stars hidden from your eyes above.

He half-expects you not to, but you heed his order to take it more slowly. At least, you look less feral at the dinner table the evening after next. You chat with Grogu, encouraging him to eat the peas on his plate rather than mash them to a green pulp coating in his hands. The baby shows you his milky teeth in a shy smile. You almost smile back, your forehead softens. The dead look seems to leave your eyes for several minutes after that.

Day by day, you’re taut with the stubborn will to live, hollow with a readiness to die. It’s still difficult to watch your grief and have nothing to stem it with but food and shelter and his poor attempts at lightening your load and occupying your time. You wear your pain deeply, yet with a stoicism he recognizes by instinct. He watches as the wound begins to knit and scar. He keeps his distance. He lets you snarl and chew, adjust to things in your own time, lest you jerk from even the most gentle of hands and gut yourself further, a snared rabbit in a trap, your soft body tinged with a red that stains.

Slowly, very slowly, the hollowness fades. Your sharp tongue eases from a weapon of brute force to a mistrustful tool of laceration. Yes, the rest seems to do you good.

You’ve seemed to bond with the child. He had observed the tear tracks and the exhaustion on both of your faces that first day, and determined it best not to ask too much about it. The kid was fine, after all.

He clings to your skirts now, watches you while you mutter at the fire as though daring it to go out. And while you still stumbled and sighed and tried to keep him occupied, it was with the kind of patience you did not offer anything else, including Din himself. And then, you had looked so solemn when you said, I’ll keep him safe. He had believed you. Still did. And not many had earned that trust so quickly.

Maybe that is why he senses the cracks within himself the first time he sees your smile. Not some hidden or halfhearted twitch of lips, but the real thing.

It’s at the kid, of course, but it’s while he’s perched on Din’s shoulder as he’s walking indoors, and your grin is so broad, so sweet and affectionate and gentle that it hits him full throttle in the chest. That stretch of your fine, pretty lips echoes through his body like buckshot. He is as rattled as though you had meant to offer it to him, and not the baby with the fistful of prairie blooms: blue aster, wild bergamot, prairie rose.

“You got some pretty little flowers, didn’t you? Did you eat any bugs today?” you coo, reaching up as the kid caws at you, wearing your own precious gift on your face. When Din only stands there in the doorway, frozen, you glance at him in question.

He catches himself, lowers the kid into your waiting arms. It’s your routine by now; you take Grogu before evening chores, he takes the kid after dinner while you do the washing up.

He just hadn’t expected it, that’s all. How the simple gesture transformed you, made you look beautiful, no, vibrant. Maybe if you had smiled sooner in the day, or later, it might not have caught him so unawares. But there’s something special about this time, he has always thought. He has always felt cloaked and safe as the evening as the stars swell, when the sun retreats behind the curtains of the hills, when the crickets chirp and everything begins to still.

On the road, he enjoys this time best alone. He likes watching the moonrise, a sweet secret of the dark just for him. But here? Suddenly he has the absurd notion that if you possess smiles like this one, what the hell does he need the moon for?

But the smile is not for him. So he leaves it be.

There is so much you don’t know.

Your smile reminds him of that moon so much he thinks he might never sever the connection, and it startles him.

He needs to leave.

A few days after Din demands that you take it more slowly, he decides to punish you for it in an unexpected way. Of course, just as you had begun to feel you’d gotten the first real rest you’d had in weeks, begun to swing into a pattern, it all goes to hell.

“Well hey there, neighbor!” caws the voice from the wagon. Peli scoffs impatiently at your stunned face and brushes past you, hauling a large basket in her arms. Din descends from the wagon, somewhat shamefaced at the glare you aim his way. He had said nothing about anyone coming to the homestead. For kriff’s sake, you’re wearing these strange, comfortable shoes and there had been no hair pins in the box Mrs. Shackleton sent; your hair was braided long down your back and tied with the store twine. You’re still wearing the same damn dress. You look like a heathen.

“Well, girl, where you keep your bread tin at?” Peli calls from within.

“We’re baking bread?” you ask, still staring Din down. Clearing his throat, he passes by you without answering, his bandana and hat masking all but his dark eyes, which he does not give you, either. He sets another basket, this one full of small jars, on the kitchen table with a clinking rattle and touches the rim of his hat with two fingers.

Peli waves him off out of his own house with authority. “Get on, Mando, we won’t be needin’ ya.”

He goes, but not as though in a hurry. This time, he meets your eyes, a golden-brown gleam.

You stare after him for a few seconds, your heartbeat returning to normal, skipping as it usually did when he got close to you. Leftover fear, you guessed, from being around Leo’s unpredictable moods. “Gonna check the chickens, Peli,” you say suddenly then, and follow him out the door.

He’s already at the barn tacking up Razor when you approach.

“What’s she here for?”

He buckles and re-buckles the strap at Razor’s belly, shifts the horse blanket, the saddle bags. The horse’s ears flick, perturbed. He checks the saddle once more before swinging up, his strong legs lifting him easily. “Visit,” he says at last, not looking at you.

“And you?” You scoff, fold your arms. “You don’t want to welcome your visitor too?”

“Rather not.”

Rage settles into your chest. You would also rather not, and yet here he was, getting to slip away to do Maker knew what, getting to hide behind saddle and bandana, while the sharp-tongued biddy inside was apparently more than ready to turn your day upside down.

“Only be in the way. ‘Sides, I have business in town today with the mayor.” He finally meets your eyes. “Not sure if I’ll be back tonight. Peli’s gonna stay if I can’t make it.”

You balk. “But what about the-”

“Don’t worry about anythin’, hear?” He jerks his chin towards the barn. “They’ll keep. I don’t want you goin’ in there without Peli or me.”

“Fine,” you bite.

He nods, touches the rim of his hat again, but doesn’t move. Razor snorts and paws, eager to go, but Din sits there, watching from beneath the shadow of his hat as you pout below like a child.

“I’ll keep him safe,” you say at last. Of course you would. The only thing that has kept you tethered to where you are, what you’re doing, keeps you from wandering in mind and body are the soft giggles and curious antics of his child.

He nods, solemn, and beckons the horse with his calves.

Your morning with Peli turns out to be a better experience than you feared. Though the two of you had had sharp tongues whetted to lacerate each other the first time you met, upon further reflection, you realize this may have been in large part your own doing. After all, hadn’t she been practically and calmly laying out your options, hadn’t she given you her bed and fed you?

In a few minutes you find yourself relaxing. She is nothing like the women that run the general store, the Shackletons, with their feathered hats that wouldn’t be out of place in your mother’s tailor shop, the women beneath them tutting and fretting at your buttonholes to save a few cents off the asking price. But Peli pays absolutely no mind to your strange footwear or lack of proper stockings and hair. Peli fixes a pair of wired spectacles around her goggling eyes, sets her hands on her hips, and instead of remarking on the mismatched china on the mantel, compliments how well you have scrubbed the floor. Then she takes several minutes to coo and fuss about the baby, bouncing him on her knee and saying things like,

“Look at those ears! Oh, you little prairie rat, it would be a shame not to grow into those. Here’s hopin’, huh? Tiny thing, you don’t seem to grow up much, do you? What have they fed you?”

Well, after that it’s pretty hard not to like her, as odd as she is. You even find yourself chuckling as the two of them chatter; only under your breath, but still. The vibration in your chest grates in your ribs, unfamiliar, and pausing over the coffeepot you feel a pang of shame. You shouldn’t be laughing, surely, with your husband dead only this short while?

The oppressive weight that had collapsed your lungs with shock and grief is easing from a bloodied death grip to a battle-ready fist. You’re surprised, actually, at how far you’ve come in a spare couple of weeks. You slept through the night with hardly any crying most nights, and when you did have a nightmare, it was brief and you could sometimes sleep again afterwards. When you couldn’t, you watched the baby sleep, his little puffs between plump lips and warm cheeks a sweeter vision than the ones rippling behind your eyelids when you shut them.

Peli seems to echo your thoughts as you set down a weak cup of coffee to the first and only guest you’ve ever had as a married woman; you’re also embarrassed to note you have nothing to offer with it, having broken the milk jug. Your mother would have turned up her nose and refused it, but Peli slurps the hot liquid with gusto and carries on talking. “You seem a mite more rested n’ when I saw you last, girl.”

“I am, thank you.”

“Been settlin’ in?”

“Yes.”

She levels you a dry, doubtful look over her coffee mug. She frowns a little, eyes narrowing at you. The cup makes a gentle clink against the sturdy wooden table. “Girl–” the sigh is as fond as it is exasperated. “Dunno why you won’t admit to it. Shoot, when I lost my daddy I was a wreck for many a day.”

You blink, surprised.

“It’s hard to watch somebody leave this world. Harder still I reckon to have it sudden-like, like you did, and him bein’ so young, yeah? No infirm old man comes out here for a livin’.” Peli’s amber eyes, creased with laugh lines but with no dull to their sparkle, flicker with sadness, but that’s not what loosens your shoulders. It’s the inwardness; she’s remembering a loss perhaps very far away in space and time. And it haunts her still.

Is that what you had looked like?

What did you look like now?

“I’m…” I’m fine, thank you for asking. I’m doing better. I’m all right, thank you kindly ma’am. The polite lies wither on your tongue. “I’m getting on, a little,” you admit. It still feels wrong, but it’s the closest your poor abilities can come to describing how you feel.

You tell her about learning to milk, feeding the chickens. You tell her about learning to handle Grogu. You tell her about the disastrous first instance of your cooking, and the fretfulness you had worked up in yourself over ensuring it did not happen again.

Peli’s gentle chuckles rise to a full belly laugh over your repeated plights in the cooking department, and when you grumble over the baby’s hair full of grits, she cackles and reaches down to tug the ear of the little one, as though congratulating him.

“It’s not funny,” you insist, though the corner of your mouth twitches. “It’s one of the main things I ought to be doing, taking care of the baby and cooking and-”

Peli’s arms fold comfortably. “Mando say so?”

You balk. “No.”

“Give you plenty of chores to do, then? Got you plumb beat?”

You hesitate, unsure from her matter-of-fact tone whether she expects the answer to be in the negative. Peli shuffles in her seat to get even more settled, resting her folded hands on her belly as though she intended to stay there all day. Below the table, Grogu coos over her shoe buckles.

“When Mando first came to town, I was the on’y one – the on’y one, mind – to open my door to his business. Coins are coins, in my opinion, and he had ‘em. Had this little prairie rat too,” she adds, with another fond tweak of the kid’s ear. “Took a shine to him I guess ‘cause he was polite and had a half-pint little rugrat to care for. No proper home as far as I could tell. He wanted me to fix up his wagon. Said he would be gone a few days, would I keep after the little one?”

She grins. “Well, his coin was good,” but she glances down at Grogu adoringly. “The dogs liked him, though Mando doesn’t seem to care for dogs much.”

“What did –” you hesitate over using his name. Did Peli not know Din’s name? That seemed ridiculous, but perhaps this was a nickname the two of them shared… though that didn’t seem to fit either of their personalities very well. You avoid the question. “What did he go off to do?”

Peli shrugs. “Not my business. Coin was good. Came back after a day or so, as he said.”

“And then he stayed?”

“Oh, no.” She takes a long draft of her coffee and smacks her lips. “Came and went for a few months, same as many do. I could tell folks about was as mistrustful of him as they used to be of my daddy, but just like I did, they came around when his business was clean.”

“Has he always…?” you chew on your question, uncertain.

“Covered his face? Sure. Never asked,” she tells you smoothly. “Impolite. Well, I guess he had some hullabaloo about town with some strange folk, and it was all the sheriff could do to help him clear it out. After that, the mayor was grateful enough to hand him a package of land. Good land too,” she adds, glancing out at the window. “Not that he seems of a mind to put it to much.”

“I noticed.” It was strange to Peli too, then, that a homesteader had no farm and few livestock. And, it seemed, the little cache of coins you had found did likely belong to Din, and he had had the money before the land and built that little hideaway to keep it safe. So where did he get it from? Surely a poor little pioneer town like this one hadn’t enough money to reward a stranger that handsomely?

“Well, to tell a man his business is wasted breath,” Peli says sagely. “That’s somethin’ Mando knows well too, you know.”

“How do you mean?”

Her eyebrows fold; pity? Or more exasperation at your clear inexperience? “Girl, you ain’t got a clue what you’re doin’ out here. When he dropped you at my doorstep you were hardly more’n a ghost. Like your body had come outta that river and left somethin’ missin’. Seems to me he’s grateful you’re here at all, never mind what you can do. You’re luckier than most to be alive, girl, and here you are fussin’ about a bachelor’s kitchen?”

She snorts. “Well, I guess he ain’t a bachelor any more. Still, though, little thing like you.” She leaves it there as you note with skepticism that you have several inches on her.

“You’ll get on, girl.”

You look up. Your thoughts had wandered back to Din, wondering where he was now on his errand, if he really thought you as fragile as Peli implied. You wonder if you are. After all, what tenuous threads tie you together? The responsibility you were beginning to feel for Grogu? The promise of more work to distract you from your thoughts?

“I guess so,” you offer. It’s the best you can do for now.

She’s looking at you with a stiff jaw, as though her compassion comes at a price she did not often pay. “I ain’t guessin’.”

You sit there and share that thought between you. That you will survive. The knowledge that you will, because you must. Maybe it’ll never be the same, but it’ll be. “And having a little one by to care for don’t hurt none,” she adds, with a bright look for the small hands using her skirt to lift the dark-eyed baby to his feet. The baby inspects the table for treats, and finding none, huffs in a wry tone beyond his years, as if to ask what on earth the point was, without any treats to get by on?

Watching you stroke your fingers gently over his pudgy cheek, Peli declares him as wise a prairie rat as she ever saw, and why didn’t the two of you make him somethin’ to eat? In a matter of minutes after that, she’s teaching you how to make bread, how to dollop cookies into a plate in the oven and throw coals on the lid to bake them. She blathers on about all the jams she’s ever made as she whips up a batch of that too, calling out ingredient for you to fetch, never minding your scurried attempts to follow along.

Once the bread is actually in the oven, though, you’re surprised by how simple it is, this visit with Peli. You show her the paper piecing you’ve traced to make yourself a nightdress and new gown. She peers at the pencil marks and huffs. For the first time, she looks rather impressed. “Maybe you do know somethin’, girl.”

Then she digs into her box that Din had brought and tells you she’s going to piece a quilt, and you seem to be handy with a needle. So you take the shears and the precious bolt of fabric for your gown, and she sits in the chair by the door and bounces Grogu on her knee.

It turns out the stitching is easy and companionable work, but you’re fascinated as she describes the intricate needlework on quilts she’s seen from some of the more skilled women in town. Patchworks of all sizes and descriptions. She asks if you’ve ever made a pinwheel like the one she’s brought, and you say you have not; your mother after all kept enough quilts at home, and the ones you had packed into your wagon had been made by your sister and mother as part of your hastily thrown together trousseau.

“Well, next time I come,” Peli exclaims, “I’ll be setting you to work! You’re quick with a needle, girl, and you’ll be a mighty help for these old eyes. Could sell, if you liked. But for now, let’s get this rugrat fed and to bed.”

Your heart leaps. Sell your sewing? Perhaps to the general store? How much money might that earn you? Would it be enough for a train ticket, or-?

But Peli heaves herself up with a grunt and carries herself to the cold storage, returning with a wrapper of beef, and tells you you’ll be making stew, everybody ought to know how to make stew. The question of sewing falls to the wayside.

Like the bread, it turns out to be simple when patiently explained over Peli’s quick, haphazard movements near the hearth. Surely she didn’t come all this way just to teach you to do that? No, that’s absurd, but it’s the strangest call you’ve ever received or witnessed.

As you sew, your thoughts return to Din. The longer you got to know him the more questions you had. His saddle, his belt, his holster, his boots – every strip of leather on him was carefully maintained, and you had seen him oiling them carefully until each one gleamed. You wondered if he was waiting for the cowhide to flash his reflection back at him.

You’ll ask him about selling some sewing to the store, you vow suddenly, your mood well improved by the full, comfortable stomach of stew and bread. It seems clear Din will not return tonight. You try and fail to coax Peli from the rocking chair, and instead settle her with a spare blanket and take Grogu into bed.

Yes. Oce you’re safely under the covers, the smell of baking helping you drift more quickly than you have in days, you resolve that in the morning you’ll ask him. You’ll be able to pay him back at least for the dress materials, for the costs you must be incurring him, if you could sell little things from the scraps at a profit. Tomorrow.

Dreams take you. For the first time, you sleep through the night.

Din doesn’t return for four days.

#western skies fic #din djarin/reader #din djarin #the mandalorian fanfiction #western!au #pedro pascal character fanfiction

51 notes · View notes

survivingandenduring · 12 hours

Text

Oh how I ran to this!!

I can’t!! It’s all so much 😭😭😭

The crash details😭😭😭

Jude’s miscarriage 😭😭😭

When they looked at themselves in the mirror 😭😭😭😭

Them shaving each other 😭😭😭

Their love for each other 😭💖😭💖😭💖😭

Adrift With You - A Frankie Morales Series - Chapter 15

Summary: Heading away on a work re-location, Frankie embarks on a flight, but unbeknownst to him, his life is about to change forever. For starters, he will need to fight for it; harder than he's ever fought for anything else before.

Marooned on an isolated island in the middle of the ocean, still recovering from an addiction, his chances of survival are bleak; but he’s not alone on the island, and soon he’s running towards a different kind of life - a life with fellow survivor, Jude, fighting right beside him every step of the way.

And if they can both survive the island together, they can survive anything, right?

Pairing: Frankie Morales x OFC Jude

Chapter word count: 9.3k

SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

☝🏻See Series Masterlist for full smut warnings & triggers in this story. Chapters that contain smut or triggers will be highlighted in the chapter notes below. 👇🏻

Chapter notes: Was being rescued real or just a dream? Smut in this chapter. Mentions of death/addiction.

Enjoy! 🖤

Chapter 14

Captain Sandy Eccles and First Officer Mark Kowalczyk sit in the cockpit of their Airbus A380, preparing their journey from New York to Madagascar.

Sandy settles into his seat at the controls, papery fingers dancing across the instrument panel as he initiates the pre-flight checks. Mark, meanwhile, takes up a position beside him, double-checking each step of the process to ensure nothing is overlooked.

"Flight control surfaces checked," Sandy announces, his brisk voice calm and authoritative. "Elevator, ailerons, and rudder are all responding within normal parameters."

Mark nods in acknowledgment, his eyes scanning the various gauges and displays before him. "Hydraulic systems pressure within limits," he confirms, his tone focused and precise. "No anomalies detected in the engine indicators."

As they make their final preparations in the cockpit, a cheerful voice greets them from the doorway.

"Good morning, Captain, First Officer," says Emma, one of the senior cabin crew members, with a warm smile. "I thought you might like a pick-me-up before we start boarding."

In her hands, Emma holds a tray with steaming cups of coffee and a small basket of pastries.

Sandy’s face lights up with appreciation. "Emma, you're a lifesaver, doll," he exclaims, reaching for a cup of coffee. "Thank you so much."

He observes the coy looks exchanged between Mark and Emma who both seem to blush simultaneously and smile before she heads out and closes the cockpit door behind her.

“When are you going to quit making moon eyes and ask her out?” Sandy muses as he sips at his coffee.

Mark's cheeks flush even more pink as he shakes his head smiling. “Is it that obvious?”

“Yeah.” Sandy quips. "It's that obvious."

Mark chuckles as ground crew members bustle about below them, preparing the aircraft for boarding. Sandy and Mark take a moment to soak in the tranquil atmosphere and enjoy their breakfast.

The crew complete their final preparations for boarding, and Sandy and Mark continue their meticulous checks, verifying the functionality of crucial systems such as communications, navigation, and emergency equipment.

"Emergency exits are armed and cross-checked," Sandy announces, his gaze sweeping over the overhead panel. "Cabin pressure and oxygen systems confirmed operational."

Mark nods again in approval, his attention shifting to the weather radar display. "Weather radar functioning normally," he reports, his voice carrying a note of vigilance. "Keeping an eye on storm activity along our route. There’s a small swell over north-east Africa. Nothing to get too excited about."

With the pre-flight checks completed and the aircraft ready for departure, they find a brief lull in the hectic pre-departure activities to indulge in a conversation about their upcoming destination.

"Madagascar, huh?" Mark remarks, glancing at Sandy with a relieved smile. "Ever been there before?"

Sandy nods. “Several times. It never gets boring. You?”

“First time. Got a layover.”

“Has Emma got a layover too?”

Mark turns away trying to stifle a brewing grin.

“Mmm-hmm.” Sandy says, flicking controls with a smirk. “Enjoy it together. It’s paradise at this time of year. Stifling... with the heat.”

Several hours in and the flight has been smooth sailing as they cruise high above the Atlantic, but ahead looms a growing storm system, visible on the radar as a swirling mass of red and yellow.

And Sandy can see the darker clouds miles out in the distance.

He glances at Mark, his trusty co-pilot, and adjusts his headset over silver streaked hair. "Looks like we've got some weather ahead. Let's start planning a deviation. Those clouds are looking pretty gnarly."

Mark nods, his expression focused. "Agreed. We'll need to navigate around the storm to avoid the worst of it. The width is reported at one hundred and forty miles.”

“Hurricane?” Sandy queries.

“Possibly. I'll contact air traffic control for updated route instructions."

As Mark radioes air traffic control, Sandy studies the storm on the navigation display. He recognizes the signs of a significant cell but remains calm and focused, his confidence bolstered by his past experiences navigating similar weather systems.

"We'll need to deviate round to the south of the continent to skirt the edge of the storm. Once we're clear, we can resume our original course." Sandy says.

"Roger that," Mark replies, jotting down the revised route on his flight plan. "I'll inform the passengers about the deviation and reassure them that it's just a precaution."

Sandy nods as Mark speaks into the intercom.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your First Officer speaking. We've encountered some rough weather ahead, so we'll be deviating from our planned route to avoid the storm. This’ll tack on about an extra hour of flight time and we apologise in advance for the delay. Please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened, and we'll do our best to keep the ride as smooth as possible."

Back in the economy cabin, both Frankie and Jude, unknown strangers at this point, don't hear the announcement, both have their headphones in; Jude being blasted with rock anthems and Frankie absorbed into a film he isn’t all that interested in.

With the new route set, Sandy and Mark begin the process of adjusting the aircraft's heading to avoid the storm. As they descend to a lower altitude, the turbulence increases after a little while, causing the plane to jostle and sway.

Sandy grips the control yoke firmly, his eyes fixed on the horizon. "Storm’s got a damn wide berth. Hang on, Mark. It's going to be a bit bumpy."

"We've got this. Just a little further to go round." Mark reassures. "Nice and easy."

Despite their best efforts, the storm's intensity grows, and the turbulence becomes overwhelming. A powerful downdraft slams into the aircraft, causing it to lose altitude rapidly.

Alarms sound on the controls and Mark gasps realising a turbine has malfunctioned.

“Fuck.” Mark's heart races as he quickly scans the engine indicators. "Turbine two is showing abnormal readings," he reports, his voice tense. "Looks like it's malfunctioning due to the sudden change in airflow."

Sandy weighs their options. "We need to shut it down before it causes more damage. Initiate the emergency shutdown procedure for turbine two."

With a sense of urgency, Mark follows the established protocols, shutting down the malfunctioning turbine to prevent further complications. The aircraft shudders again as the remaining engines strain to compensate for the loss of power.

"Emergency checklist initiated," Mark confirms, his voice steady despite the chaos unfolding around them on the control panels. "Shit. It’s not working!”

"We're losing altitude!" Sandy shouts, struggling to regain control of the plane.

"Mayday. Mayday. Mayday-" Mark begins radioing into air traffic control.

A loud explosion is heard on the left side of the plane.

Sandy frantically adjusts the controls, trying to stabilise the aircraft with Mark. Despite their best efforts, the aircraft continues to falter, its descent becoming increasingly erratic.

"I can't hold her! We’re going down! Brace for impact!" Sandy bellows over the screech of the failing engines.

“Brace! Brace!” Mark yells into the radio, his shrill instruction echoing around the aircraft. The faint sounds of screaming can be heard from the cabin.

With a deafening roar, the plane strikes the surface of the ocean, its wings shattering upon impact and fuselage torn apart. Water floods into the cockpit as the aircraft begins to sink beneath the choppy waves.

Sandy is killed instantly upon the impact of nose diving, and Mark fights against the rising water, desperately trying to free himself from his seat. But it’s no use.

He drowns, unable to escape his fate, moments later.

After just over a year on the island; one year, one month and ten days to be precise, (or if you want to get real into the numbers to work it out, I’ll save you the trouble - it’s four hundred and five agonising days) with it just being the two of them, the hustle and bustle of people suddenly swarming around them can be too much to bear.

It’s a natural reaction, after spending copious amounts of time in a peaceful place with no noise except the soft conversation of the person beside you, that any loud noises or crowds will alarm you.

Jude watches Frankie for a brief moment, like all the hysteria around her has fizzed away and she’s studying him under a microscope. Watching how he becomes bewildered and a slight panic rises up inside of his wide brown eyes, taking them over, and then disappears as quickly as it comes.

And then he's alert once more, like he’s just woken up and knows where he is all over again, a sudden spark of remembrance breaking through the dark dementia-like cloud swirling inside his mind.

Frankie will be ghostly still until a small movement, a sudden jolt in his back like he’s hiccupped, will convince her he isn’t a robot sitting rigid on the chair next to her in the ship’s main control room as they wait to dock on the mainland.

They’re dry and dressed in ill-fitting Navy gear; grey sweatpants and sweaters that are a little too long in the arms and swamp their malnourished frames. It feels strange to have shoes back on her feet as Jude looks down at the plimsolls with laces tied in a neat, floppy bow at her ankles.

Frankie holds a warm cup of coffee inside of his right hand that he sips slowly; the other is firmly interlocked with her fingers inside her lap. The bitter aroma of it filters into his nose and it’s a scent he savours for a few moments, even if it tastes like watered down shit, waiting for the familiarity to register, before he sips it and licks the sharp residue off of his lips.

Jude reaches forward and wipes away a drip of coffee caught inside his bushy beard fibres, shining at her like a brown diamond, and smiles. She tugs on his beard gently.

“I’m going to miss this.”

“I’m fuckin’ not.” Frankie chuckles. “It’s coming off the first chance I get.”

She purses her lips and makes a sad face as he rolls his eyes, smirking as he drinks his coffee some more, bewildered that he’s drinking coffee again at all after drinking tasteless rain water for so long.

A swill of officers are on deck, chattering and the sounds of radio exchanges with tinny voices is heard somewhere in the distance, ebbing around them.

Frankie looks back and forth at Jude with an expression that is mostly unchanging during the journey back to land.

It begins to creep her out a little bit the more she sees it; making prickles rise on the back of her neck. He suddenly has a way of making her nervous for absolutely no reason at all each time she glances up at him hunched over the coffee cup unmoving and looking like he has no idea where he is again.

Through the rhythmic hum of the engines filling the air, she finds herself struggling to comprehend the reality of their situation herself. It all feels like a dream - a hazy, surreal blur of events that she can't quite wrap her mind around.

They've been rescued, she reminds herself, her heart pounding in her chest as she gazes out at the vast expanse of ocean stretching endlessly before them. After days - or was it weeks? - in the aftermath of the tsunami, they've finally been found, plucked from the brink of oblivion by the steady hand of fate.

But despite the overwhelming evidence of their salvation - the towering masts of the ship, the crisp uniforms of the crew bustling about their duties - Jude can't shake the lingering sense of disbelief that clings to her like a stubborn shadow.

It all seems too good to be true, too improbable to be real. She pinches her arm again and feels nothing but a terrifying numbness to it.

Wake up...

Frankie notices and glances down at her squeezing her skin between her nails.

“Hey,” he says, releasing her grip. “Jude. It’s really happening.”

His eyes draw her in, ground her feet to the soft vibrations of the ship cutting through the waves, drawing ever closer to the distant horizon where the promise of land awaits, she finds herself clinging to his hand tighter, her fingers white-knuckled with tension.

Each passing moment feels like a lifetime, each mile bringing them closer to a destination that still feels impossibly far away.

But then Frankie flinches again, like music blasting through earphones loudly into his ear canal unexpectedly as the captain approaches them.

“We’re almost there, not much longer now. We’ll escort you guys to the American embassy. I’ve had a chat with them about you. They’re going to help you get home.” He announces clearly.

“Thank you,” Jude replies, timidly, the sound of her own voice seeming too loud to her as her thoughts try to arrange themselves into some sort of comprehension.

“Where’s ‘there’?” Frankie questions the captain.

“South Africa, Cape Town, Sir.”

“I’ll be back. Drink some of this shitty coffee.” Frankie smiles at her, as he pushes the cup into her trembling fingers.

"I hate coffee..." She smiles, weakly.

"I know." Frankie squeezes Jude’s hand and then follows the captain.

Frankie hovers beside him looking out at the large windows in the vast control room.

“Captain. You said we were found amongst a group of islands?” Frankie asks him carefully.

“Yes Sir, the Prince Edward Islands.” He points to the satellite at two large, land-shaped clusters. “Those are the mainland islands, but we picked you up on a smaller rock scattered further out. There are lots of them. The islands have been previously used for penguin conservation. No-one inhabits them anymore though.”

“I think someone did at some point.” Frankie concludes.

“What do you mean?” The captain asks.

“There was evidence of someone being on that island long before us. There was a man-made structure built, like a shelter? We found a switchblade and rusted tin cans. And remains…”

The captain nods thoughtfully. “It could have been someone from the conservation team, or maybe someone like yourselves who got stranded for a while? Fishermen get stuck out here on a regular basis if the tide turns. But there haven’t been any reported people missing to my knowledge for years. We’re out here a lot, supporting the territories. We have our base at Port Elizabeth.”

Frankie thinks for a moment. “Your officer in the boat, he said he looked for us. I’m wondering how far off course the plane was when it crashed,” Frankie says, folding his arms around himself as he looks out the window at the empty sea presented before him.

The captain turns to him. “Most searches are conducted in and around the immediate area where the plane drops off of radar-”

“Yeah, I know. I-I used to fly. Army. Retired.” Frankie explains tentatively.

“Ranking?”

“Captain.”

The captain salutes at Frankie out of respect for an equal. “Your training kept you alive. Might’ve been a different story if you were just a regular civvie.”

As Frankie stands on the deck of the naval ship, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon, he can't help but reflect on the harrowing journey that brought them both to this moment.

Despite the overwhelming odds stacked against them, they had survived - against all logic, against all reason. And as he looks back on their time adrift at sea, trapped on the island, enduring the forceful brunt of the tsunami, he realises that the captain is right; it probably was his training in the army that had kept them both alive for so long.

In the face of danger, his instincts had kicked in, guiding Jude through the treacherous waters with a steely determination born from years of discipline and resilience.

Whether it was rationing their meagre supplies, building shelter, or weathering the brutal storms that swept across the ocean, he had drawn upon the skills honed during his time in the military to keep them safe, to keep them alive.

But it wasn't just his training that had seen them through - it was also the unwavering bond forged between them in the crucible of adversity. Together, they had faced the raging tempests and the relentless swells, standing side by side against the onslaught of the island’s fury.

And in those moments of darkness, it was their shared strength, their shared determination, that had sustained them when all hope seemed lost.

“Crews were out here, including us supporting them, scouting for wreckage for weeks. We found some, but of course you have to remember the ocean is vast; debris can travel in all sorts of directions on the current, and can travel at different speeds. It’s impossible to search the entire ocean for survivors, especially when we didn’t find any at all in the immediate vicinity where the plane went down.” The captain swallows and Frankie watches distantly as his Adam's apple bobs in his throat like a forlorn knot.

“I’m sorry that you guys weren’t found sooner, I really am. We were convinced everyone on that plane had perished, all the evidence we found suggested it. You guys drifted so far from the crash site, that it’s a pure miracle you survived.”

“A miracle.” Frankie snorts.

“What else could it be?” The captain queries.

Frankie doesn’t answer. Instead pondering it quietly to himself as he stares back out at the ocean as an officer approaches the captain diverting his attention.

Emotionally sterile and just gazing out at nothing; seeing nothing even though a dark land shaped mass is visible on the horizon now.

There's a surge of hope - a flicker of excitement igniting deep within his chest at the prospect of finally reaching solid ground after so long being lost.

But alongside the hope, there's also a twinge of apprehension - a nagging doubt curling into something fretful that whispers in the back of his mind, reminding him of all they've endured and the uncertain future that lies ahead.

Frankie looks down at his hands to find them shaking again. Fingers trembling with a mind of their own.

He squeezes them into tight fists, nails cutting into his palms, and willing himself to calm down.

When the ship docks, Frankie and Jude are escorted to a Navy vehicle and driven inwards from the coast towards central Cape Town.

Jude looks out the window, observing the colourful, loud world that has left them behind for so long. The dusty streets, the aromas from food stalls as they pass bustling markets making her stomach growl with the infusion of spices tickling her nose as they waft in through the windows of the car.

The yells and sounds of people crowded in the streets make her ears ache. The rumble of passing cars reverberates heavily through the air, their engines growling as they prowl the bustling streets. The screech of brakes and the blaring of horns add a discordant note to the air and she practically jumps out of her skin every time it happens.

She feels a gentle squeeze around her hand and looks across the seat at Frankie as he holds his arm out and she shifts closer to him, into the safe embrace of him, ever wearing that cautious gaze in his furtive eyes.

“Who are you going to call?” Jude asks him dreamily, as they both stare emptily at the scenery whizzing by them in a blur.

“Ghostbusters,” he remarks with a sardonic grin and then shrugs. “Fuck, I don’t even know…”

Despite being rescued, a pang of anxiety claws at his starving gut as he comes to a sobering realisation - he doesn't know any numbers off by heart to call anyone and let them know he's safe.

In the chaotic aftermath of their rescue, amidst the flurry of activity and the rush of emotions, he hasn't given much thought to the practicalities of reaching out to loved ones. Now, faced with the stark reality of his predicament, he feels a surge of panic rising within him. How will they know he's alive? How will they know he's safe?

Will anyone even care to know?

“You gonna call your mom?” He asks, swallowing down the bile.

“I bet she won’t believe it’s me really calling her.” Jude says with a weak smile birthing out on her face.

It seems an incredibly daunting thought; the anticipation to call and hear her voice is overwhelming, surreal even. Like it will never bloom into fruition because the pain of saying the words out loud - explaining where she’s been for the past four hundred and five days - is unbearable to even begin unravelling apart to make sense of for herself, let alone another hysterical person on the end of a phone line.

As the Naval car rumbles along the busy streets, inching its way towards the embassy, Frankie and Jude find themselves momentarily halted by traffic jamming up. The sounds of honking horns and distant chatter fill the air, mingling with the stifling heat of the evening.

In the midst of the commotion, a young African boy on a battered moped pulls up beside them, his eyes wide with curiosity as he peers in through the car window.

His dark skin is coated with a sheen of sweat, and his gaze, filled with a mixture of wonder and innocence, falls upon them both, taking in their appearances with a mixture of awe and confusion.

Frankie can feel the weight of the boy's curious stare, a silent observer to their dishevelled state - clothes too big, hair wind-tossed, faces etched with exhaustion and relief. Frankie meets the boy's face, struck by the depth of emotion reflected in those big, expressive eyes.

There's a silent exchange between them - a moment of connection that transcends language and culture, bridging the gap between their worlds with a simple glance.

For a brief moment, time seems to stand still as they lock eyes with each other, their worlds intersecting in this fleeting moment of shared humanity amidst the chaos of the city streets. There's something oddly poignant about the encounter, a silent acknowledgment of the fragility of life, the universality of human experience.

The boy doesn’t know about Frankie and Jude’s life-altering struggles, that they’ve been lost for so long, and yet he smiles at Frankie, offering a mouth full of chipped and wonky teeth.

But as quickly as it begins, the moment passes, the boy gives Frankie a shy smile before revving his engine and disappearing into the throng of vehicles.

His eyes, already weary from months of uncertainty and hardship, begin to sting with unshed tears, and a lump forms in Frankie’s throat as he struggles to contain the overwhelming swell of feeling.

In that brief exchange, something profound has shifted within him - a stirring of empathy and compassion that cuts through the layers of cynicism and weariness that has come to define his existence. It’s as if the innocence and wonder reflected in the boy's eyes has pierced straight through to his soul, awakening a dormant part of himself that he has long believed to be lost.

Blinking back the tears that threaten to spill over, Frankie turns away from the window, unable to shake the weight of the moment.

Jude reaches up and kisses his neck, feeling his beard tickling her cheek.

As the Naval car inches forward once more, carrying them ever closer to safety and sanctuary, Frankie finds himself grappling with a newfound sense of vulnerability, a rawness of emotion that he has long buried beneath layers of bravado and stoicism.

Frankie looks down at Jude nestled against his chest and kisses the top of her head.

The Navy officers escort them into the American Embassy in Cape Town; a large and formidable white building with heavy security and armoured vehicles. The American flag is flapping around in the breeze and Jude looks up at it, feeling a sense of familiarity and deep seated relief to view the stars and stripes waving back at her.

They’re escorted to the consulate main building where a representative for The States meets them and shakes their weary, calloused hands as he regards them over the rim of his thin spectacles carefully.

“Wow, you guys have really been through the ringer, ain’t ya?” He says with a Southern twang, motioning for them to sit and regarding their dishevelled, malnourished appearance with some appal. “I’m Jake. I’ll be assisting ya’ll whilst ya here with us.”

“How long will that be?” Frankie enquires, anxiously. He scratches at the back of his head, his cap still firmly planted on top of his scraggly curls that reach down to his shoulders.

“Hopefully not long at all. Take a seat, make yourselves comfy there.” Jake motions to the chairs again; watching as they sit on the edges tentatively like the chair will swallow them whole.

“What’s going to happen to us now?” Jude asks. “We just wanna go home.” She explains trying to stifle a swamping yawn.

The thought of finally returning home feels like an alien concept. It's a notion that seems both tantalisingly close and impossibly distant, like a dream she's afraid to fully grasp for fear of it slipping away.

“And we’re going to get ya back there for sure, ma’am. We need some details from ya so we can get ya some new passports and check a few things out. Now, I hear you’re ex-military, Sir?” Jake says, addressing Frankie directly.

Frankie nods and slumps back in the chair.

“Well, that works in your favour. We can get ‘em to help escort you guys home, through the back door as it were.”

Frankie smiles through tight lips as Jake clears his throat.

“Back door?” Jude queries, confused.

“Without much of a hubbub. You guys’ll make international news soon enough.”

The thought fills Frankie with a potent mix of anxiety and apprehension, as it does with Jude. The thought of their faces splashed across television screens, of their harrowing ordeal dissected and analysed by strangers, sends a shiver down Frankie's spine.

It's a stark reminder of the scrutiny and judgement that awaits them on the other side of this journey - a world that seems increasingly foreign and hostile with each passing moment.

“What happened to the plane?” Frankie braves. “Do you know why it came down?”

Jake pauses and clasps his hands together on his desk. “Yeah, I remember the story. Was mechanical failure from the storm. The engines failed I think, from what I remember. It was all over the news worldwide, social media and all that kind of stuff. I don’t really understand that Instagram thing myself, but they never found any survivors.” Jake explains.

He pulls out his iPhone, taps onto the screen then hands it to Frankie. It’s a Google search page of all the headlines and images from the crash.

Frankie scrolls through them with an unsteady finger. He stops when he sees a headline with his own face and name listed as one of Flight 816’s missing passengers. An old army photograph of him in his sandy combat gear, eyes squinting in the sun.

Frankie turns the phone screen to Jude and looks back at her with worrisome, dull peepers.

“Shit...” She mutters skimming the article. She hands the phone back to Jake and he puts it on the desk.

“We’re going to put ya guys in a hotel not too far from here, give you some comfort and ya’ll can get some rest. Before that we’re going to get ya checked over with a couple of doctors, make sure you’re healthy, that kinda thing.”

“Can we make some calls?” Jude asks him eagerly.

“Of course ya can. I’ve no doubt ya families will be keen to hear from ya. I imagine it will feel like a miracle to them, huh? To have ya back after all this time?”

Jude gulps as her fingers knot in her lap.

“Listen guys, I can’t imagine what y'all have been through. But we’re going to getcha home, we’re going to help ya as much as we can, okay?”

“Thank you, Jake.” Jude says to him, offering him only a glimmer of a small, worn out smile.

“Ya need anything, ya let me know.” Jake opens a file on his desk.

“A razor would be a great start.” Frankie clarifies.

Jude smiles at him and nods in agreement.

“Y’all will have everything ya need, don’t worry. Alrighty here, let’s start with ya full names, shall we?” Jake picks up a pen. He looks at Frankie and waits for him to answer.

“Catfish,” Jude replies rather deadpan.

“Hmm?” Jake asks, eyebrows raising.

She giggles, almost like a snort that hiccups out of her, and Jake looks at her slightly bemused.

She can’t help but laugh out louder until she can’t stop. Real gut rolling belly laughs that erupt out of her mouth and Frankie joins in too, snickering until eventually he can’t contain it and lets out a loud hawhawhaw that continues to roll out from him, until he clutches his stomach like he’s doubled over in that crazed laughing pain.

Jake observes them both bewildered. “Y’all wanna let me in on the joke?”

They both undergo a medical at the local hospital as soon as they wrap up the formalities with Jake, escorted by a representative from the consulate to translate for them where needed.

A lot of hustle and bustle through their exhausted state, when all they really want to do is to eat, sleep and call their loved ones.

The delay is starting to get to them as they exchange tired and impatient looks between themselves, gripping each other’s hands and squeezing when it starts to get overwhelming.

They’re separated temporarily as they’re examined; a feeling that neither of them want to get used to.

A palpable sense of unease settles over Frankie like a heavy shroud. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, he finds himself separated from the familiar presence of Jude - the one constant in an ever-shifting sea of uncertainty.

Frankie clocks Jude’s furtive, panicked gaze back at him as she’s ushered behind a curtain and feels the pang of anxiety hit her gut too, making her stomach all swirly like the ocean current that has tried - and failed - numerous times to drown them both.

With each passing moment, Frankie finds himself growing increasingly restless, the minutes stretching out into an agonising eternity as he waits anxiously for her return.

The sterile surroundings only serve to amplify his sense of isolation, the stark fluorescent lights casting harsh shadows that dance mockingly across the walls.

Frankie sits on the examination table in another bay as the doctor asks him about his general health and prods gently at his stomach and over his ribs. He listens to his heartbeat and takes a swab from his mouth.

In the other bay, a similar process ensues with a female doctor who takes blood, swabs and asks a barrage of personal questions to Jude.

“What have you been eating on the island? Have you been ill at all whilst there? When was your last period?”

“Period?”

Jude’s mind cast back to the blood trickling down her legs in the sand and the gut wrenching pull in her stomach reminds her of the unexpected loss all over again, like a wave smashing into her.

“Urm... I can’t really remember, maybe seven months or so, maybe less? I’m sorry, it’s all so…” She searches back in her mind against the blank void of time, unsure exactly when it was that she’d had her last one on the island.

It’s not really something you consider at first, bleeding monthly on a deserted island with no sanitation products to hand. But when it’d happened a few weeks or so into first being stranded there, the heavy belly cramps registering deep in her uterus, and discreetly keeping it from Frankie’s awareness, she’d used dark strips she’d torn off a t-shirt and rolled it up inside her panties. It felt like she was living in the dark ages before tampons even existed.

But out in the middle of nowhere Jude had to adapt and she hid the evidence well from him. Or at least if he did know, he was good not to mention it and add to her embarrassment.

But then she realised, that slow unsettling feeling creeping over her shoulders, one day on the shoreline washing out her hair, that she hadn’t had a period for some time after they’d started sleeping together.

Dawning on her then that they’d been pretty reckless, but when you’re in the throes of passion and wrapped up in one another, practicality flies out the window. But the months had worn on and there was no real repercussion from their love making, no signs of a pregnancy. No period, no risk of a baby right?

Evidently she was wrong.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight, it will affect your cycle for a while, but as you gain weight again it should return to normal. If it doesn't, your doctor back home can advise you further.” The doctor says.

“I urm... I-I think I had a miscarriage on the island.” Jude squeaks quietly, unable to look the doctor in the eye like she’s done something shameful.

She lowers her clipboard and touches her shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” she replies gently. ”If that’s the case, I’ll need to examine you, make sure there’s no lingering infection or anything, will that be okay?”

Jude nods and lays back on the gurney as the doctor pulls on some latex gloves.

In the other bay, the doctor places his cold stethoscope all over Frankie’s bony back, asking him to breathe in and out and hold his breath for as long as he can. He asks him about any injuries sustained, anything that worries him currently and how he’s feeling in his general state of mind.

Frankie shrugs. “I’ve been stuck on an island for over a year thinking I would die every day. I’m sure there’s a fuckin' adjustment period for that, right?”

The doctor doesn’t appreciate his sarcasm and doesn’t respond, instead writing out a prescription for vitamins and supplements.

“I had a fever... On the island, not too long ago, and a rash too.” Frankie mutters through a stifled yawn.

“What kind of fever?”

“I’m not sure. I was out for a few days. Hot, vomiting... Delirious, that kind of thing.”

“And the rash, was it all over your body or just concentrated?”

“All over I think. Red and angry."

“Were you bitten by a mosquito at all?” The doctor probes, regarding him.

Frankie shrugs again. “Not that I specifically remember. I was bitten by a lot of things out there.”

“We’ll take some blood, check it for anything that could be lingering in your bloodstream. You could have possibly had Dengue Fever. It's quite common out here with mosquito bites. But easily treatable if you have access to meds, which I appreciate you didn’t, of course... Couple that with your malnutrition and weak state, you’re lucky you didn’t catch anything worse. I’ll prescribe you some meds, make sure it’s all gone. Have you got any allergies? Any medication that you’re sensitive to?”

As Frankie absorbs the doctor's questions, he finds himself torn between conflicting impulses.

On one hand, there's a voice in the back of his mind urging him to speak up - to lay bare the truth about his past addiction and the struggles he's faced in order to ensure he receives the proper care and support he needs.

But alongside that voice, there's another - an insidious whisper of doubt that sows seeds of fear and uncertainty in his heart. What if they judge him? What if they see him not as a survivor, but as a liability - a broken soul in need of fixing?

The thought of laying bare his vulnerabilities to strangers fills him with a profound sense of unease, a fear of being labelled and stigmatised further for the demons he's battled in the past.

In the end, as the doctor's gaze meets his own, Frankie makes a choice - a leap of faith into the unknown. With a deep breath and a steady resolve, he opens his mouth to speak, ready to face whatever consequences may come with the truth.

"I... I have a history of addiction. Drugs. Cocaine."

The admission hangs heavy in the air, casting a palpable tension over the bay as the doctor's expression shifts, registering a mixture of surprise and concern.

Frankie can feel the weight of their scrutiny bearing down on him, but he refuses to look away, steeling himself against the fear that threatens to overwhelm him.

"I've been clean for... for a while now," he continues, the words coming more easily now that he's broken the silence. "But I thought you should know. In case... in case it's relevant to my treatment. I can’t have any meds that have any psychoactive effects.”

There's a beat of silence as the doctor absorbs his words, their gaze searching his face for any sign of deception or evasion. But Frankie meets his searching gaze head-on, his eyes clear and unwavering as he waits for his response.

Finally, the doctor nods, a gesture of acknowledgment tinged with understanding. "Thank you for being honest with me," he says, his voice gentle but firm.

Frankie watches as the doctor strikes through his previous writings on his pad. "Let's take some blood."

Frankie holds out his arm as the doctor pricks it with a needle.

“What happened to your neck?” The doctor asks, turning Frankie’s head gently so he can examine the scars that run across it.

“I was burned when the plane crashed...” Frankie surmises, his thoughts turning dark as he remembers the smell of his skin sizzling in the water.

“Hmm, looks like they’ve healed pretty well. They look like they were partial-thickness or second degree when it happened. Might be best to apply some topical cream to help with the fading. I’ll add it to your prescription.”

The doctor places the blood vial in a testing bag and gives Frankie a cotton ball to hold against the needle poke hole in his arm.

“Overall, I’d say you’re in pretty good shape, considering. The malnourishment is reversible, you need to simply eat. Foods that are rich in vitamins and high in energy, fortified foods and vegetables, that kind of thing. In moderation of course. I can’t stress this enough, but if you gorge you’ll make yourself really sick. Your stomach has shrunk significantly, so although you may feel famished, you need to fill up really slowly, okay?”

Frankie nods. “Sure.”

“Refeeding syndrome can be fatal, alright?” The doctor warns and Frankie is nodding so much it feels like his head might fall off his shoulders.

"Eat small and slow. Got it."

“I’d advise you to visit your dentist, your optometrist, and follow up with your own doctor too when back home. Check on your overall health with them regularly until things get back to normal with your body. Keep an eye on any changes to your skin too; you’ve been exposed to the sun for a long time without a barrier, so check on any moles or freckles you have regularly for any changes. They all look okay to me at the moment.”

“No problem.” Frankie replies; his foot tapping on the floor anxiously.

With a heavy sigh, Frankie clenches his fists in frustration, a surge of restless energy coursing through his veins. Every instinct screams at him to find a way back to Jude, to break free from the confines and monotony of the examination bay and seek out the one person who has become his lifeline in this tumultuous world.

In the other bay, Jude winces as the doctor takes an internal swab and bites down on her lip.

“You can sit up now.” The doctor says with a sincere smile. “On first inspection you look completely fine down there, but I’ll send this to the lab and we’ll know for sure. I can write you a prescription for some contraceptives if you’d like, it might help with regulating your periods during the transition back to your normal cycle. In the meantime, rest. Take it easy. You’ve been through a lot.”

The moment she says it, Jude starts to well up. The natural reaction you have when anyone shows you any kindness or sympathy at your plight.

The doctor hands her a box of tissues and she takes a few out, wiping her gritty eyes.

“It might be a good idea to seek some therapy, talk to someone about your ordeal. You’ll find your emotions will be up and down for a long time and that’s perfectly normal.”

Jude nods at the doctor blowing her nose. Emotions being up and down is a fucking understatement.

“Thank you,” she says to the doctor, and she’s all too eager to get out of the bay and be back with Frankie.

“How did it go?” Jude asks him through red eyes, and he pulls her in for a long, tight hug.

“Horrible.” Frankie replies stoically.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Absolute agony being away from you.” He says softly.

“It was.” Jude agrees.

“You ever heard of refeeding syndrome?”

“No.”

“We gotta eat real slow, even though I wanna devour a fuckin’ whole cow right now.”

Jude snickers.

“Did they take your blood?” Frankie asks.

Jude nods. “Pesky vampires,” she remarks through a smirk up at him.

"C'mon. Let's get out of here. I fuckin' hate hospitals." He says.

The hotel room isn’t that fancy.

Nothing over the top; conspicuous and modest, but more than anything it’s clean and smells fresh with a lemony scent lingering in the air around their nostrils.

The air conditioner is whirring out from under the window and the net curtains billow softly in the recycled air flow.

They wander into the small room and look around like they’ve just hit the jackpot.

There’s a double bed with clean, crisp sheets. Actual pillows and a night stand with a gloaming lamp. There’s a small flat screen mounted to the wall on the opposite side; an armchair and a closet with empty hangers.

Large windows offer a glimpse of the city skyline twinkling in the dark, a reminder of the world beyond their temporary sanctuary.

It's a moment they've both been longing for, a brief respite from the chaos and uncertainty that has consumed their lives all day.

For Frankie, the sight of the hotel room is a balm to his weary soul - a tangible reminder that they have finally reached safety after so many harrowing experiences.

He takes a moment to savour the simple pleasures of a comfortable bed and a hot shower, luxuries that he’s sorely missed during their time stuck on the island.

They both simultaneously breathe in and out and turn to smile at one another in that ambient relief.

Frankie puts down the carrier bag he’s holding, full of clean clothes that the embassy has provided, medicines and some personal items, such as coveted toiletries.

Jude is holding a similar bag for herself and has a key card for the room next door.

Frankie wanders over to the bathroom and there’s a large walk-in shower, sink and toilet with clean towels, mini soaps and a large mirror mounted on the wall above the sink and brightly illuminated.

He steps inside gingerly and regards himself in the mirror, just looking at the worn face staring back at him that he no longer recognises.

Taking off his trusty cap that reeks of the sea and sweat, his hair is wild and untamed, shaggy below his ears and curling into his shoulders.

His once patchy beard is full and busy with wiry hairs that seem more silver in some places. It's been over a year since he last saw his own reflection, and the sight before him is both jarring and surreal.

His usually plump lips are cracked with dryness and a faded purple rather than the heart coloured cerise they usually are naturally. His dark eyes, that have seen and been through so much, are now dull and faded when they used to be full of vibrant zing.

It’s possible, he thinks, that he’s aged significantly beyond his years. He most definitely has, deep inside of him somewhere.

Frankie regards his shrunken appearance, his collarbone so prominent as he removes his Naval sweater. His ribcage is explicitly noticeable and he winces at the state of his aching and tired body presented back to him.

“Shit...” Frankie sighs despondently.

Jude appears at the doorway, watching him regard himself as he runs his fingers through his beard and hair, examining every aspect of his gaunt appearance in the ghastly mirror.

She ventures into the bathroom next to him and dares herself to look at her own reflection, keeping her eyes to the floor like she’s avoiding a monster tailing her, until she feels Frankie put his hands on her shoulders behind her, anchoring her.

There’s nothing of her, the once supple curves of her body are now straight, flat lines with no definition or skin that glows with health and vitality.

Despite being tanned from months of relentless sun burn, her skin appears dull and lifeless. Hey eyes are sunken into the sockets of her skull and the bags under them just confirm wholly how tired she absolutely feels.

Her braid is hellishly tangled; her hair lifeless and no longer has the sleek bounce she remembers, filled with split ends.

“Oh my God,” she whimpers, utterly aghast at the state of herself.

“You’re still beautiful to me,” Frankie whispers, resting his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her stomach. “Todavía tan jodidamente hermosa.” (Still so fucking beautiful.)

They look at one another in the mirror, trying to accept the alien looking strangers who are staring back at them with horrified reflections.

“I’ll let you get washed up,” Jude begins, devastated as she heads towards the door, but he pulls her back by her wrist gently.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare, hermosa,” he says softly and pulls her in close to him.

Frankie kisses her, tilting her chin up and she stands on tip toes as he pulls her close. She giggles and wriggles away from his face as his beard tickles her lips.

“Yeah, we really need to cut this,” Jude says, fingering through his crispy beard.

Frankie steps away out of the bathroom for a few moments and brings the bag back in with him. He empties the contents of the toiletries onto the sink and finds some scissors and a razor, and holds them out to her.

“Will you make me the happiest man in the world and shave this fuckin’ thing off my face?” He asks her through a wry grin.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she chuckles.

Jude cuts large chunks of hair from his beard carefully, keeping as close to his skin as possible as he perches on the toilet with the seat down.

Opening his legs so she can stand in between, his hands sweep over her backside and squeeze occasionally.

"This is very distracting," she hums as he kneads and squeezes her flesh.

"I know," he surmises with a grin.

Once she’s cut enough off, she wets his face and covers his chin and neck in shaving foam and begins running the razor over his face gently.

“There you are,” Jude marvels as his taught skin is finally revealed from under the hair.

The same face she remembers from when he first appeared on the island, staggering up the sand bank towards her with wide, panicked eyes. “You want it all gone?”

He nods. “It’ll grow back soon enough.”

Frankie pulls down her sweats as she steps out of them and sits on his knee.

“How you holding up?” He asks as he feels the scrap of the blade over his skin.

Blinking, Jude nods. “I keep waiting for it to feel real.”

“Yeah.” He nods.

“This has to be a dream.” She sounds like she’s far away. “But… I’m not waking up.”

Frankie takes her hand and presses it against her chest. She can feel the steady throb of his heart under her finger tips.

“It’s real.” He confirms. "We're here."

Jude smooths away the remaining foam with her fingers when she’s done, revealing a smooth and pallid jaw line against the dark tan of his face, and he lunges forward and kisses her deeply.

Frankie stands up as she wraps her legs around his waist and he steps into the shower with her, peeling her out of her remaining clothes as they’re saturated under the warming stream.

The hot water feels incredible and they both gasp out in satisfaction as the jet sprays them down, laughing in relief and wonderment at such a simple thing as hot water after all this time of bathing in the murky sea.

“Oh my God!” Jude calls out, closing her eyes, feeling the heat on her skin, and Frankie throws his head back, letting the water drown him and soak his shaggy hair.

He shakes it about like a dog and she laughs as he chuckles, kissing her again.

He reaches for some shower gel and sniffs it in his hands before offering his palms out to her to smell it in return. It smells of herbs and bergamot; woody scents like the forest and the notes dance inside her nostrils long after it’s absorbed into her skin.

He runs his soapy hands all over her body, taking his time to clean and massage her, working the nodules at the back of her neck, swooping his hands under her arms to run them down her back and grab her ass with them, making her smile and groan out.

Frankie reaches for the razor and crouches down, tapping his thigh as she puts her foot on it.

Jude watches as he shaves away the hair from her legs gently, looking up at her with a smile pinched between his teeth as the water sprays against his back. He’s tender, running his hand over her freshly smooth skin and admiring her when he's done.

"So fuckin' beautiful," he says in wonder.

Jude reaches for his hair, scratching around the back of his neck fondly with the shampoo as he kisses just above her wet belly button.

On his knees, he hooks her leg over his shoulder and instantly licks up the seam of her pussy.

“Frankie!” She cries out, steadying herself against the tiles as her legs buckle unexpectedly.

“I got you,” he says, smirking up at her, his hands firmly holding her backside and thighs and keeping her upright.

She watches as his tongue slides against her, slipping into her folds and seeking out her clit. She groans when he latches onto it, sucking it between his lips as his hands slide around the front of her thighs and he pries her open with adept, soapy fingers.

Jude reaches down, gripping onto his shoulder, cradling his head closer as Frankie laps at her pussy like a man completely starved.

The water trickles down her stomach into his mouth from the stream above them. With each breath, Jude feels the tension building within her, coiling tightly like a spring ready to snap.

It's a sensation that courses through her veins, igniting a fire within her core that threatens to consume her. She can feel her heart racing, a steady drumbeat of anticipation that echoes in her ears as Frankie hums out in satisfaction, his skilled tongue rubbing around her clit deliciously.

“Yes, don’t stop…” Jude whines, tugging on his soaked hair, spirals of dark curls knotting around her knuckles.

He growls with the tension on his scalp, his fingers sliding up inside her as he laps at the succulent slit leaking sweetly onto his tongue as she builds.

And then, suddenly, it happens - a release of pent-up energy that surges through her with breathtaking intensity.

It's as if a dam has burst, flooding her senses with a rush of raw, dizzy emotion that leaves her trembling in its wake.

“Fuck! Frankie!” She cries out, tears welling behind her eyes.

As she closes her eyes and leans back against the cool tiles, she can feel the tension melting away from her body, replaced by a deep and abiding sense of relaxation.

It's as though every muscle in her body has finally surrendered to the gentle rhythm of the moment, a moment where it's her and Frankie and they’re safe and warm and loving on one another, allowing her to sink deeper into the embrace of tranquillity.

He stands up and kisses her with an intensity that makes her unsteady on her feet. She can taste herself on his lips and sucks at them with a feverish want.

“Jude,” he whines, closing his eyes as he feels her reach for his cock, hard and aching for her.

Frankie bites down on his lip as he watches her massaging it around the suds, squelching it through her fingers.

He breathes out against her pores as she pumps him slowly. She feels his fingers grip tighter around her ass cheeks.

“I’ll never get enough of you,” Frankie husks. “Ever.”

She smiles and kisses him, working his swelling cock inside of her grip.

“I need you.” Jude moans, pulling him tighter to her.

He picks her up and pushes her against the tiles as she wraps her legs around him, crying out as he sinks his cock inside of her.

He gasps out loudly as he connects with her again, sliding in and out slowly as she kisses his shoulder, his neck over the rippled burn scars, lips searching for his again, finding her home within him.

Home.

A word that has been tossed around so much today, carelessly that it loses all pronunciation on the tongue. A word that has felt so out of reach for so long.

Home, a place that used to exist in another world but now only exists right here, in this moment.

Home isn’t a place anymore. They have no homes to go to, not really. It isn’t the safety of bricks and mortar, and sturdy foundations rooted in the ground. It’s not an apartment full of useless bric-or-brac. Four walls and a roof that occasionally leaks.

No, home is Frankie. Here in his arms. Home is Jude. Here in her arms.

Their fingers intertwine and their gazes lock in a panting exchange. Frankie feels something shift within him.

It's as if a veil has been lifted, revealing a truth that has always been there, hidden in the depths of his heart. He looks at Jude, really looks at her, and sees not just the person that has been beside him, fighting with him all this time, but the very essence of home itself.

In her eyes, he finds a warmth that seeps into his bones, melting away the coldness that has plagued him for so long. In her smile, he finds a comfort that soothes his weary soul, reassuring him that everything will be okay.

“I love you, Frankie,” she gasps, tears in her eyes. “God, you feel amazing.” Jude whispers as he pants in her face, the hot mists from the shower steaming and swirling around them like gossamer ghosts bearing witness to their devout hunger.

“I love you… fuck! Jude, oh fuck, Jude!” Frankie grunts, as he fucks harder and deeper against the tiles of the shower before exploding deep inside of her with a loud, breathy groan as he gives her everything he has.

Finally, they’re home.

To be continued...

SERIES MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

Thank you for taking the time to read my story; it really means so much to me. I'd love to know your thoughts, and I'd really appreciate a re-blog so others can enjoy this story too. Thank you so much 🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: I'm no longer adding tags due to some of them not working correctly. Please ensure you're following me and turn on notifications so you don't miss a chapter instead. If you'd like to be removed from the tag list, please let me know.

Tagging everyone who asked to be tagged/commented on/re-blogged my initial teaser & prologue:

@suzdin @missladym1981 @millennial-teenybopper @legendary-pink-dot @msjarvis

@tightjeansjavi @burntheedges @inept-the-magnificent @casa-boiardi @sin-djarin

@rhoorl @disassociation-daydreams @quinnnfabrgay @chronically-ghosted @fuckyeahdindjarin

@chiriwritesstuff @copperhalfcent @bluestar22x @5oh5 @gobaaby-blog-blog

@myloveistoolittle @pastawench @maggiemayhemnj @secretelephanttattoo @yesjazzywazzylove-blog

@thethirstwivesclub @seratuyo @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @toomanytookas @survivingandenduring

@lizzie-cakes @sawymredfox @iloveenya @elegantduckturtle @covetyou

@undercoverpena @connectioneverywhere @trulybetty @nerdieforpedro @thisneozonerecs

@fckyeapedrothots99 @goodwithcheese @anavatazes @doughmonkey @lilmizmoz

@76bookworm76

#adrift with you series #francisco morales #frankie x ofc!jude #frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal characters #frankie morales x ofc #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales smut

106 notes · View notes

survivingandenduring · 12 hours

Text

Truth or Consequences

Summary: You know deep down the hatred is only for himself and the turmoil he’s got boiling inside of him. Why else would he be paying to see you every week? Word Count: 3,442 Pairing: Ted Garcia x ftm! reader Rating: 18+ Explicit Warnings: 18+ mdni, dom/sub dynamic, mild humiliation/degredation, (LOTS of) dirty talk, internalized homophobia, reader uses the f slur and t slur to refer to himself, sucking the strap, rough oral sex, deepthroating, coming untouched, paying for sex, reader has top surgery scars but no other physical descriptions, no use of y/n, Ted Garcia is a republican A/N: I literally could not have done this without @for-a-longlongtime hyping me up and giving me motivation. Thank you bby <3

It’s late. It always is. You’ve been holed up in this hotel room for the last hour and a half. Waiting.

You don’t like when he makes you wait. He knows this, and perhaps it’s why he’s never shown up on time.

At least there’s Coke Zero in the minibar, and enough cable channels to keep you entertained.

But you click the TV off when you hear the familiar “knock-knockknock-knock” on the hotel room door.

You take your time straightening yourself up in the mirror, knowing he’s sweating it out in the hallway, where anyone could see.

It’s a small town.

You cut off his second attempt at the secret knock and tug him in by the collar of his tacky leather vest.

His eyes grow wide and he flinches when the heavy door slams shut behind him.

It’s cute, how he always seems so frightened.

“Took your sweet time tonight.”

He clears his throat and blinks hard before his pretty lips part.

“Secretary lost part of my speech— ”

His sentence cuts off with a high-pitched whine when you grab his jaw to manually shut his mouth. You click your tongue at him and feel his Adam's apple bob against your wrist.

“Try again.”

You notice his chest heaving, and you feel his jaw work under your fingertips.

“I— I’m sorry.”

Fuck, he looks so good like this, scared shitless and tenting his faded Wrangler blue jeans.

You release his jaw, but grab onto the curls at the nape of his neck and tug.

“Not quite.”

He curses, eyes shut tight.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

You chuckle and watch as the noise goes straight to his cock.

“That’s it, there he is. You have to mind your manners, Mr.Mayor. Don’t you wanna get re-elected?”

He whimpers and nods his head, and your fingers tighten their grip in his hair.

“Yes sir, I do.”

You hum as you let your free hand find those curls at the nape of his neck, too. You thread your fingers together at the back of his head and watch his tense expression melt into something more relieved.

“Tell me your safe word.”

With a shuddered breath, he speaks.

“Insurrection.”

“And if your pretty mouth is full?”

His hand finds your waist, tapping three times in a row.

“Good boy,” you mumble, ruffling his hair.

You watch as his skin flushes, trickling from under his collar to spread across his face.

His hand is still on your waist. You grab it slowly, then all at once torque on his arm so he twists away from you with a yelp. You crowd him from behind, get your other hand around his elbow, and kick the back of his knee.

He collapses onto the gaudy carpet with a groan, arching his back to relieve the tension in his shoulders where you’ve still got his arms in a death grip behind him.

You love to watch him squirm around.

“You know the drill, Mayor.”

You release your hold on him and watch some of the tension melt away. He digs around in his pocket and comes up with his phone, as always, letting his face unlock it for you. He sets it down on the bed in front of him, then holds his hands behind his back with amusing obedience.

“Pretty quiet tonight. Nervous?”

He shakes his head immediately, a knee-jerk reaction. You’re behind him, so you can’t see his face, but you know his eyebrows are all pinched up. You know he’s lying.

You weave your fingers through his curls once more and tug so he’s looking up at you.

“Why are you lying to me?”

His lips part, pretty pink tongue peeking out to wet them.

“I’m sorry, sir. I am nervous. Big day tomorrow.”

You’re well aware of the events to take place over the next 24 hours. His last big speech before the town either votes him out or keeps him around. You don’t dwell over politics, especially not now, but you’re well aware that the polls are leaning toward the former rather than the latter.

“Poor baby,” you coo, “I can’t imagine why you��d be nervous.”

Your fingers twist a cruel motion in his hair and he whines, tries to worm his way out of your grip.

“You’re just the best little Mayor there ever was, aren’t you? Pouring more funding into the corrupt police department…”

You stroke his face with your free hand, and though it’s tender, he flinches at first contact.

“Tweeting about the evil gay agenda…”

Your thumb finds his chin, then his plush bottom lip, and you hold his mouth open as he squeezes his eyes shut.

“How about that secretary of yours? The one who’s salary doubled in your four years in office, huh? Does she know you come to see me every week?”

He doesn’t respond, just makes a pathetic little noise in the back of his throat. You pull his hair again.

“Answer me.”

“No! No, sir, she doesn’t.”

His words come out a little garbled where you’re holding his bottom lip. You hook your thumb behind his front teeth and slowly drag down, until his mouth is wide open. His eyelids flutter, just in time to watch you spit into his gaping mouth, stray droplets landing on his nose and cheeks and chin.

“You don’t tell her about us, Mr.Mayor? Are you ashamed of me?”

He curses, struggles in your hold, and you let him go. Though he keeps his hands together behind his back, he tilts his head forward, presents the back of his neck to you. It’s flushed, in this twisted mix of shame and arousal that always gets him off.

“Yes sir, I am.”

You huff, tut at him and kick at the sole of one of his Lucchese cowboy boots.

“Well that’s not very nice.”

He makes to lift his head up and look at you, but you shove his head back down.

“Why don’t you just sit here for a minute and think about how you can make it up to me, huh?”

“Yes sir,” he nods.

You let out a satisfied hum and grab your bag from the foot of the bed. Closing the bathroom door behind you, you get to work suiting up for the occasion. This is your favorite part, taking your time and letting him anticipate. You know he’s on-edge out there, waiting for you, wondering how you’re going to punish him this time.

You’ve railed him within an inch of his life, sat on his face until he’s nearly blue, edged him for so long you almost made him late for an early morning meeting. But tonight, you’ve got just the thing, know exactly what to do to make sure he’s thinking about it until the next time he comes to see you.

You look in the mirror when you’re ready, jeans pulled back up so only your largest, most obscene strap-on is hanging out of your fly. Your flannel shirt hangs open, top surgery scars on full display. You know he likes them, and you know he hates that.

You slowly and quietly open the bathroom door. A smirk spreads across your face when Ted is right there where you left him, shaking a bit, but otherwise perfectly still.

His breath hitches in the quiet hotel room when he feels you reclaim you space behind him. You chuckle, and he curses, and you wonder if this will ever get less fun.

“You really hurt my feelings, Teddy Bear.”

He grumbles at the nickname you’ve given him. He’s not so fond, but you think there’s a ring to it.

“Sorry, sir.”

“Look at me, Mayor.”

Despite the show of reluctance he’s put on, his head snaps up and back to look at you. His nostrils flare, and you know deep down the hatred is only for himself and the turmoil he’s got boiling inside of him. Why else would he be paying to see you every week?

You swear you see his pupils grow even larger when his gaze lands on the monster of a cock in front of his face. If that wasn’t enough, his tongue swipes over his bottom lip and quickly retreats, like his morals are just a second behind his horny little brain.

Your yes flick past his head to his phone, still unlocked on the bed. You grab it and hum, act like you’re going through his apps just to watch the way he squirms on his knees for you.

You finally open the camera, and the little blip sounds and lets him know you’re recording.

He looks great on tape like this, looking up at you with his wide, brown eyes. The bulge in his jeans is even more prominent since they’re such a light wash, and the lens even picks up on the tiny little patch of dampness that soaks through the denim.

You pull the phone up, angle it down a bit more so your dick is on display, eclipsing the view of his face. The pale silicone contrasts beautifully with his flushed and tan skin. You take it in hand, stroke it a few times, though your fingers can’t quite wrap around the entire thing.

Ted’s squirming in the near background, shifting from knee to knee, and you think he’s waited long enough.

You step forward, and he opens his mouth. You chuckle and grab his jaw, run your thumb along his wet lip.

“Eager little beaver, aren’t you, Mayor?”

On camera, you watch him tear away his gaze from your prick to your face. His forehead wrinkles up, he doesn’t want to answer.

“Don’t get camera shy, baby. Let’s see your manners.”

His mouth finally closes, and he swallows and clears his throat.

“Yes sir.”

“Yes sir, what?”

He tries to look down, but you keep his jaw firmly in place. His nostrils flare again, but the camera also picks up the way his hips shift forward, his straining cock begging for relief against his fly.

“Yes sir, I’m eager.”

You hum.

“Eager for what, Teddy Bear?”

His jaw clenches, you can feel it under your palm.

“Eager for your cock, sir.”

You nod silently, and his eyes flicker up to your face instead of the phone.

And then you release his jaw, grab the base of your cock, and slap him with the cold silicone.

The noise he makes is pathetic, all strung out and desperate, and so you do it again, and again, until a phallic red streak adorns his face.

“This what you wanted my cock for?”

He nods quickly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Yeah? Want me to leave a bruise? Want the shape of my cock on your face for the whole town to see tomorrow?”

A sound escapes his throat like he’s just got the wind knocked out of him, and he opens his mouth to answer, but you don’t let him. Instead, you smack his shiny lips with the head your dick.

“I know you do, Mr.Mayor. I know you want everyone to see what a good little cocksucker you are.”

His tongue reaches out to press against your cock, swirl around the large mushroom head of it.

“Yeah, that’s it. Get it nice ‘n wet.”

He does, lets saliva pool in his mouth and then sinks his mouth further down, pulling back to reveal what a dutiful job he’s done with drool slipping from the corner of his mouth.

“Imagine if this got leaked, Ted,” you murmur.

He whines, opens his mouth once more to take you in, even further this time, but still barely past the head.

“You’d like that? You think you’d get more votes if they knew how good you are at this?”

He nods around your prick, looking directly at the camera, and fuck, it’s a sight, makes a low heat build in your gut that you try your damndest to ignore.

So you thrust into his mouth, a slow but smooth motion, watching through the phone how wide you’re stretching his lips. He takes a deep breath through his nose until he can’t anymore, until you’re feeding the tip of your cock down his throat and he closes his eyes in focus.

“Fuck, yeah, I think they’d love this,” you say, and you’re completely sheathed inside him, holding, waiting until he can’t take it anymore.

He pulls back with a gasp and you let him, watching his spit dribble from his mouth, loving the deeper shade of red his lips are turning.

“Don’t you think so, Teddy Bear? You’re so inclusive now, sucking off a faggot and a tranny.”

He chokes on his spit, sputters and coughs until his face is red. But he whimpers, too, and he tries so hard to wiggle in his jeans and find even the smallest bit of friction.

You laugh at him, how desperate and wrecked he looks just from sucking on your fake cock. The damp patch on his pants has doubled in size and something about it makes you feel so so powerful.

“Tell ‘em how much you like my cock, Mayor.”

He clears his throat and looks directly at the camera.

“I love your cock, sir.”

As soon as he’s done speaking, you run the slick tip all over his lips.

“Yeah you do. Look so pretty with it in your mouth. Why don’t you take off all those layers? Show ‘em how pretty you can be?”

“Yes sir,” he nods.

He’s quick about it, throwing his vest off and fumbling with the buttons on his shirt until it’s hanging off his shoulders. It goes, and his tank top underneath does as well once he gets it untucked.

And then he’s just in his sinfully tight jeans, looking up at you with a heaving chest.

“That’s a good boy,” you mumble.

He sits back on his heels with a sigh.

“Thank you, sir.”

It’s a little tender, the way you smooth your free hand across his broad shoulder, the soft muscle jumping under your touch. You film the way his breath hitches when your palm ghosts his pebbled nipple, then the way he shudders when you flick it.

“You really are so pretty, Mr.Mayor. Love how these get so hard for me,” you tell him as you roll one between your thumb and finger.

His head lolls back, and his mouth opens around a groan when you squeeze. You give the other one just as much attention, until you feel him trembling under you.

Then, you reach up to wrap your hand around his bobbing throat, no pressure, just for show.

“Hmmm… think maybe we should get you a collar. Make you even prettier. Would you like that, too?”

He nods with his eyes shut. You give him a moment to realize where he’s at, but when it’s clear he’s lost in his head, you slap his cheek.

“Yes! Yes, yes sir, I would.”

His glassy eyes stare up at you, past his recording phone.

“Yeah, have you wear it to all your fancy meetings, let all your constituents know who you really belong to.”

You hear him gulp, loud in the quiet room, and watch him squirm around some more, watch how his cock jumps in his jeans.

“Who do you belong to? Who owns this mouth, and that weeping little cock?”

“You do, sir. It’s all yours.”

“That’s right, Mr.Mayor. Let me take what’s mine, huh?”

He opens his mouth with a slack jaw, and his eyes looks so beautiful when they roll back as you fill his mouth.

Instead of thrusting, you grab a fistful of his hair and pull him into your cock. He keens around the silicone, so fucking needy. You curse and whisper his name, and that only gets more of a reaction from him. He’s humping the air now, a frantic roll of his hips, and you know he’s found that sweet spot where his jeans rub against him just right.

For a moment you let him go at his own pace. On camera, the bobbing of his head and the jerks of his hips are synced. His eyes are shut, and he’s really fucking into it, and as much as you hate to admit it, you are too.

The silicone base of your cock is pressing up against the perfect spot to get you heated. It doesn’t take long for you to still Ted’s head with a firm grip and start fucking his mouth.

He looks up at you just as he gags. His eyes are starting to water, and his chin is covered in drool. You thrust harder, deeper, until his eyes look a bit frantic and his breathing gets labored.

“Fuck, Mayor, you’re gonna get me off like this,” you say as you slow, give him a bit of a break to catch his wind.

He whimpers, and he closes his spread legs and rubs them together, aching for a bit more.

“You like that? You wanna make me come?”

His ‘yes sir’ is muffled around your cock, and it jiggles in the harness when he nods his head and that feels so fucking good.

“Get me off and then I’ll let you come. Gotta do it just like that, though. Don’t fucking touch yourself, Ted.”

He whimpers and doubles his effort, sloppy, knocking the huge cock all around to try to get you off with his panicked movements. You watch through the camera as the muscles in his arms and shoulders and chest all tense up, and you can’t tell whether or not he’s trying to come or trying not to come.

You’re getting close, the sweaty glide of the smooth base flicks against your throbbing bud. Your own breathing starts to pick up, and you’re so close but it’s just not quite enough.

So you grab the back of his head and thrust, slip the silicone to the back of his throat and grind until you finally, finally tumble over the edge.

He’s gagging and coughing with the prick still in his mouth, and the tears are running down his face one right after the other and it only makes those waves keep crashing in a delicious rhythm.

When you pull back, just a bit, there’s teeth marks on your cock, shiny with spit on the video recording. You give another thrust just to punish him for it, and it sets off a fucking gorgeous chain reaction.

It ripples from his head to his toes. His breaths are more than labored, evident even when his shoulders shake and stiffen, his stomach clenches and unclenches and his hips jolt and stutter as he squeezes his legs together.

You pull your cock from his mouth just in time to kneel down and get a close up of his jeans, and the way that wet spot gets larger and larger as his cock jerks and his hips roll.

The sounds he makes are so fucking pathetic it’s almost funny, whimpering and sniveling as he just keeps coming, spurt after spurt absolutely soiling his pants.

His legs shake with the last few pulses, and then he’s slumping, completely ruined from head to toe. You lean back on your own knees so the camera gets an Oscar-worthy pan of his stomach and chest, heaving and sweaty. Up even further to his freshly fucked mouth, all red and shiny and swollen. And his eyes, wide and almost scared looking in his post-nut clarity and guilt, don’t quite meet you or the lense.

“Smile real pretty for the camera, Teddy Bear.”

And to his credit, he does, though it’s anything but genuine and much more resembles a grimace than anything else.

The sound of the recording ending marks the end of this little session as well. Both sets of bones pop and crack as you stand up together. The dressing is quiet, as it always is, and he doesn’t steal a single glance at anything other than the tacky hotel room carpet.

He clears his throat, and you look up from buttoning your shirt to see him still flushed and still guilty. He’s dressed, but he’s holding his vest in front of him and shielding the soaked spot on his jeans from view.

“Thanks, I guess.”

You hum and shrug as he grabs the door handle.

“Same time next week?”

He shrugs then, too, but you know the answer already, know that next Monday you’ll have another bundle of taxpayer dollars come through on your venmo.

He leaves without another word.

When you watch his speech on the news the next day, his voice is noticeably more hoarse and gruff.

88 notes · View notes

survivingandenduring · 12 hours

Note

Yeah…so fuck me fill me was but the amuse bouche then.

🥵😩🥴🥵

Sunday morning turns out is the perfect time to read this..

shouts….…..husband…….bedroom…..NOW

fuck me fill me was so fucking hot omg, i love me some breeding kinks. would you consider a party 2 where they’re just fucking the whole time on her work trip when she’s not working (OR even during a zoom or team meeting lol obv cameras off {hmm or.. on? 😏 and the mic muted lol}) let’s get joel’s baby in herrrr 😏😏

Thoroughly Fucked, Thoroughly Filled

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader | W/C: ~2.2K | Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Summary: You’re insatiable. Obsessed with how your husband treats you like a princess, and fucks you like a whore. It’s non-stop for you both, your thirst to always be full of him, and his persistence in keeping you that way. The only question is, will your hard work pay off?

Warnings: Joel has one mission in this one -- knock you the fuck up (if that's not your thing, kindly move on). Heavy on the breeding kink. They fuck like rabbits, there is no stopping them. No age gap is mentioned (make it your own). So much dirty talk. Fingering. Praise kink. Consensual Somno. Unprotected P in V. Rough sex. Oral. Desk sex. Sex on an active Zoom call. Multiple creampies. No use of Y/N, no use of daddy. TLOU au. Reader has no physical descriptions except hair (no type or color) long enough to hold on to. Let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: I wasn't planning on doing a part 2 for this one, but the thought of Joel railing reader during a Zoom call was just too hard to pass up. Thanks for the slutty thoughts and request, Non babes.

Read Part 1: Fuck Me, Fill Me | Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Notifications

You’re insatiable.

Obsessed with how your husband treats you like a princess, and fucks you like a whore.

It’s non-stop for you both, your thirst to always be full of him, and his persistence in keeping you that way.

It’s all so much, and not enough at the same time. You want more, more, more.

You rarely wear underwear anymore, there’s no point. Sometimes he gives you the time to gently slip out of them, but his impatient and callused hands tear them from your body more often than not.

In the couple of months that followed that first fuck in the kitchen after you told him you wanted a baby, he’s been diligent in his duties to knock you up. It’s all-consuming and nothing is off-limits — no time of day or location.

You love it all.

You love your begging, not that it takes much, that slowly turns into those barely audible uh, uh, uh whimpers from being so ruined and fucked out on his cock.

You love him using you whenever he wants. The feel of his body weight pinning you to the bed at night, after you’ve already drifted to sleep, slowly sinking his thick cock into you until he’s buried himself deep inside. The rasp of his sleeping voice whispering “Shh, I know, I know it feels good. But I’m not done yet, okay baby? Go back to sleep for me, sweetheart.” That morning you woke up to his load deep inside of you, the sheets a mess and your thighs sticky.

You love the bruises on your knees from you taking him in your mouth in the kitchen, worshiping at the altar of the man you love while you let your sore, somewhat swollen pussy rest for a day. The feel of his thick cock so far down your throat, deep enough to make you gag, but not enough to make you stop. “Taking it so well, baby — you’re so fucking perfect.” Instead of spilling down your throat, he’s commanding you to get up and bend over. Braced up against the counter, he holds you steady as he pushes his nearly there cock inside of you, the length of him slick enough with your saliva to slip right in, just in time for him to paint your cervix in thick ropes of his cum. He stays there as his cock pulses inside of you. Even though you’re sore and he’s already spent, you fuck yourself a little on his cock and he hisses, but doesn’t dare pull out. He dips down and places a soft kiss on your shoulder, and chuckles a little when you moan at the sensation of him pulling out. He does so slowly, attempting to keep all of his cum inside you. “I’ll give you more tonight, okay sweetheart?”

You love the sweet things he does for you, like making your favorite dinner. It shouldn’t come as shocking that it took minutes for you both to abandon your still-full plates because he tells you how beautiful you look in the candlelight, and that he can’t wait to make you a mom. The sex was so good not only did you forget about dinner entirely, you forgot words, his cock reducing you to nothing but a cum slut, a babbling mess, just for him.

You love his way of greeting you after a long day—his hands cup your face, drawing you into a deep, passionate kiss that leaves no room for words. When he finally breaks away, the intensity in his eyes says everything. Silently, he leads you to the bedroom, where he ravishes you. He hushes you as you sob, keeping you sensitive, on edge, so keyed up you think you might burst. He grinds his cock up into your core, the tip of him kissing your cervix, helping you ride out each orgasm before edging you into another. You love the way he slowly gets rougher and rougher until he’s pounding into your tight cunt, pressing the damp hair from your forehead, whispering sweet praises against your skin — my girl, so perfect baby, you’re so fucking pretty, I hope our baby gets your nose. It’s so much, the rough sweetness of it—a perfect juxtaposition.

++++

You not only love it, but you also find yourself missing it deeply—missing him, the way he stretches and fills you. It’s been almost a week since you’ve seen him, as you’ve been gone on another work trip.

The only thing getting you through the days is knowing he told you he’d save every drop of himself for you.

The night before your trip, after he filled up your tight cunt so full of his spend, you threw your legs up against the wall at the head of the bed and stuffed a pillow under your hips. You did this frequently, wanting every ounce of his seed to coat your cervix completely. Most of the time Joel stayed by you, playing with your hair, or tracing shapes over your tummy, the both of you imagining how it might look with a baby inside.

But this time, a knock on the front door had left you alone. You subtly shifted your hips, just enough to grasp his phone from the nightstand. Scrolling through his apps, you open the camera and decide to leave him an unforgettable surprise. You capture a photo hot enough to make a pornstar blush, then swiftly place the phone back exactly as it was before he returns to the room.

Of course, he finds the photo while you’re gone. He finds the photo at work, no less. It has him so hard that he doesn’t think he’s going to be able to get up from his desk the rest of the day. His cock is so full, his balls heavy, it’s nearly painful. He groans knowing there's not a damn thing he can do about it. Joel Miller is a man of his word.

He pulls out his phone and types out a quick text to you — oh sweetheart, you’re going to pay for that one. You’re in the middle of a meeting when your phone buzzes on the conference table. You risk a glance down at the message and immediately know what he’s talking about. You clench your thighs together, arousal building in your core. You grab your phone and hide it under the table as you type out your response. Promise?

He does promise. You will pay for it, just not in the way that you might expect.

++++

It’s that series of events from a few days prior that has you in your current predicament — legs open, getting absolutely railed on your desk, in the middle of a fucking Zoom call.

The sound of his boots on the hardwood floor signals his approach down the hallway to your home office. He pauses at the doorframe, leaning against it casually. You glance over your computer screen to find him looking effortlessly stunning. His thick neck sports a sun-kissed tan, and his curly hair is damp from a day's hard work. The denim of his jeans is marked with streaks of paint, yet his shirt remains bleach white, accentuating his muscular arms. He is undeniably handsome—the kind of man many dream of finding, and you’re grateful you did.

Devastating. Joel Miller is devastating. And he’s all yours.

He doesn't say a word, just looks at you, his eyes drinking you in as if you were a refreshing glass of lemonade on a sweltering summer day

Your colleague’s voice echoes through the room. We’re looking into it, but initial analysis suggests that the email headlines weren’t as compelling. We’re planning A/B testing to improve them. You try your best to maintain your composure, but you feel like you’re melting under the heat of his gaze. A little flustered under his attention, you make sure your microphone is muted and turn off your camera.

“Hi, baby. I’ll be done in 30 minutes or so, I’m up to present soon,” you tell him, expecting that might be what he’s waiting for. It’s not.

“I’ll be quick then, sweetheart.” he rasps.

Wait, what?

He quickly closes the distance between you, his steps confident as he approaches. Circling around your desk, he gently spins your chair to face him. He gives your computer a brief glance to double-check that both the camera and audio are indeed off, and then, satisfied, he leans in to plant a fiery kiss on your lips.

When he pulls away, his heavy hands are already on your thighs, inching your skirt higher and higher. “Mmm, have I ever told you how sexy you are when you’re like this? My pretty girl works so hard.”

Fuck.

Your eyes flutter closed as he kisses down the nape of your neck and sucks at your pulse point. His hand cups your sex, the tips of his fingers prodding at your already wet, seemingly always ready, hole. He holds your gaze as he sinks his middle finger into you, which your needy pussy willingly and greedily accepts.

“Fuck, baby. All this for me?" He groans, and you want to tell him that not only is it for him, but it’s also from him. Your cunt still holding onto the remnants of your shower fuck from this morning.

Perfect, thanks, Linda. Moving on, we have the upcoming virtual conference. Mark, how are the preparations going? In the time that Mark is sharing the details that were requested of him, you manage to get Joel’s cock out from his jeans, sucking him to full hardness, drool dripping down your chin as he holds your hair back in a makeshift ponytail and helps guide you up and down his length.

He pulls you off of him and looks down at you, and there’s something so primal in his gaze, his pupils blown open with lust, his face set in a look that conveys everything words could fail to.

“Up,” he orders, and you rise. He holds you tight against his chest, and lifts your skirt all the way up and over the curve of your ass, coming to rest bunched up at your waist. He scoops you up by your ass cheeks, and gently deposits you on the desk, not bothering to move the papers that are scattered there.

“Joel, please fuck me, want to feel you baby, need it so bad,” you mewl, and spread your legs open into a wide V, giving him full access to your glistening cunt.

He admires you for a moment, working his length in his hand, collecting the bead of pre cum that gathers at his tip with his thumb and working it into the silky smooth skin of his cock. He takes a step forward and positions himself at your entrance and gently pushes his hips forward so the tip of him is inside of you. He pauses there, giving you a second to adjust. Your heart throbs in your chest, and your eyes flicker closed.

“No breaking eye contact, sweetheart. I want you to look at me with those pretty fuck me eyes when I cum inside you,” he says, wasting no time as he bottoms out inside of you.

Your pussy walls clench against him, and your jaw goes slack. He’s so fucking big, but god, it feels good. The way he fills you is always so perfect. You could take him again and again and it would never be enough.

“Such a perfect cunt,” he groans, beginning to set a relentless pace. Something about this angle does something for you, too. His cock fits just right, pushing and gliding over the spongey spot inside of you that makes you see stars. He holds your hips tightly as he pumps in and out of you, eliciting throaty moans from you. The air is filled with the filthy wanton sound of skin slapping against skin.

“I –” you mew, “I’m gonna come,” you say, breathless.

“Come for me, baby. Be the good girl I know you are and show me how well you milk this cock” he says, a little out of breath, voice deep.

And you do. Your pussy pulses around him as the wave of your orgasm takes over you, your mind hazy and filled with nothing but the thought of the way he fills you just right. The sensation is intense, enough to make him cum inside of you at the same time. “Yeah, that’s it, sweetheart. Take this cum” he groans and holds you tight as he spurts out the final bits of his release inside of you.

It's so good, you almost don't hear your name being called through the speakers on your computer. He quickly steps back, helping you off your desk. He fixes the strands of hair around your face that have come loose and plants a kiss on your lips.

“God, you’re perfect. Come find me when you’re done?” You nod and he walks off. You straighten your skirt and quickly take your place at your desk once more. You turn on your camera and hope your coworkers don’t pick up on your my husband just bred the fuck out of me glow and start your brief. As you speak, you tightly cross your legs, hoping to keep all of Joel’s cum inside of you.

But this time it’s just because you like it there, like being full of him.

Not because you need it.

END

Reblog + Support Writers + Comment

A/N Continued: I wanted to say thank you for all of the love you showed on Fuck Me, Fill Me. It's truly wild the difference even 10 reblogs can make in the visibility of a story on this platform. Reblogs really are the best way to support creators, and y'all showed up for me, and I love you for it. Thank you.

Tags from people who expressed love for Fuck Me, Fill Me: @endlessthxxghts, @survivingandenduring, @kulekehe, @millerfan, @pedropascalsbbg, @yxtkiwiyxt, @syd-djarin, @swankyorange, @spookyxsam, @polaroidpascal, @heareball, @eatommo, @lotusbxtch, @hellishjoel, @chulopascal, @bellamese, @auteurdelabre, @msjarvis, @charethcutestory02, @noceurous, @hotgirlbedtimescenarios, @casa-boiardi, @wildemaven, @josephquinnswhore, @mabelisapunk

#joel miler x fem!reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #breeding k1nk #joel miller the last of us #pedro pascal character

374 notes · View notes

survivingandenduring · 21 hours

Text

I feel this gif perfectly sums up Javier in this

Dinner’s going to be…interesting

To the Flame chapter fourteen

Series masterlist

Pairing: Dark!Javier Peña x afab!reader

Chapter w/c: 2.7k

Chapter warnings: physical abuse, manipulation, mental abuse, Javi being a dick, toxic relationship, alcohol consumption, mild description of injury, mentions of noncon, emotional distress, anxiety attacks, this is fucked, please just go in with caution

Chapter Summary: Is this the beginning of the end?

A/N: hey, y’all! Another chapter that hits pretty close to home for me, as I’m sure a lot of the upcoming ones will. A lot of emotions in this one! Please always remember that I am here for anyone who would like to talk ❤️

*****

You don’t get out of bed for the majority of the next day.

When you first wake, you feel like you’re being crushed by an overwhelming weight of emotion. It pushes you down and strips you until you’re bare and gasping for air, making you writhe and whimper in pain. And then it just stops. And you don’t feel sad, or scared, or anything else. Just void and numb. Like your body isn’t yours and your mind is in a far away place that you don’t dare attempt to reach.

The curtains are down, leaving the bedroom a dark and quiet place. Perfect to lay in bed, unfeeling and alone. It gives you nothing to focus on, so you instead hone in on the stickiness of your wet cheeks and the throbbing of your sore eyes. The sensation of your crumbling heart, though, you push it far, far away and leave it to rest.

It’s Monday, so you know Javi’s gone to work, but you have no idea what time it is. You don’t want to get up to look, and you don’t want to think about your husband. Fuck, your husband. Tears sting your eyes and start to overflow, but you’re not consciously doing it. It’s like your very soul is confused and is causing your body to react in every way you wish it wouldn’t. At the thought of him, the uncomfortable ache between your legs makes itself known. It fucking hurts and it makes you feel pathetic, though you don’t understand why. You just know that there's an underlying feeling of shame crawling uncomfortably beneath your skin.

You want to wash it away—all the shame and hurt and confusion you won’t allow to surface. You want to get in the shower and scrub your skin until it burns. You want to drown his scent, his touch, the memory of his hands, his body on top of yours. But you don’t, you can’t. You can’t move from the place you’re already drowning in.

You lay in the dark and silently sob, not doing anything to wipe the tears as they run down into your hairline because you know that there will just be more. You cry until your eyes hurt and your breathing starts to smooth out again, until you’re lulled back asleep by the wracks of your body. It feels like a cruel trick from the darkness, but you let it take you willingly. Anything to escape this nightmarish reality.

It’s probably only a couple of hours later when you wake up again to the silence. But this time, the first thing out of your mouth is a frustrated and strangled sob. Anger warms your entire body as you throw the blanket off without thinking. You’re not really sure where the aggression comes from or what it’s directed to, so you just blame it on yourself for being weak. For waking up and crying and giving up. You want to kick yourself and tell yourself to just suck it the fuck up.

But you can’t, so you instead slam the bedroom door open and stomp into the kitchen. Another heave leaves your lips as you enter the threshold, this one closer to a scream as tears escape you and your stomach twists painfully at the reminder of last night. Your knees give out, leaving you to sink down onto the freshly tiled floor. You soak in your anger and your hatred, and it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before. It fully consumes you, making you tremble with the force of it and your teeth grind as you try and fail to bite it down.

Your hands come up and thread through your hair, pulling tightly and close to the base, but more to ground you than to pull any strands out. You can’t fall into a panic attack here, you may not come out. Javi’s the only one who can save you from that, and he’s not here. You give yourself two minutes to collect yourself, though you’re still not all the way there as you force yourself up and push toward the medicine drawer.

With rough movements, you pull it open, snatch up the melatonin, and shakily pour four tablets into your palm. You shove them into your mouth and swallow them dry, wanting them to kick in as soon as possible. You start to screw the lid back on, but it doesn’t thread right, and you make a sound of frustration again as you say ‘fuck it’ and just shove it back onto the counter, pills spilling all over the place. You go straight back to bed, pulling the blanket up and letting yourself cry back to sleep.

The third time, you wake in a panic, your body shaking in an aggressive and unnatural way. Your eyes snap open and find that the light is turned on, and it’s only once you feel a harsh grip on both of your arms that you comprehend someone shaking you awake. Your first instinct is to push back on the bed, struggling to get away, but the hold gets tighter as the person yells something that you can’t understand yet in your current state.

“How many did you fucking take?” Javi demands, his face coming close to yours. Tears are already leaking from your eyes as you meet his gaze, your voice stuck in your throat. You wish they would go away. It seems like it’s impossible to be awake without them accompanying you.

“W-What?” you manage to squeeze out. He’s stopped shaking you, but he looks angry. No, not just angry, you realize as your heart contracts painfully in your chest. He looks scared.

“The pills, how many did you fucking take?”

Your head just shakes as you try to catch up.

“How fucking many?” He does jolt you this time, bringing you even closer. He starts to drag you off of the bed, and his fingers dig in so hard that they hurt. You yelp and jump up, trying to ease the strain. It only hits you once your feet hit the ground, what he could possibly be talking about.

“F-Four!” you spit. “I took four!”

He stops talking but his jaw stays set as he looks you up and down like he’s both assessing your well-being and deciding something detrimental. Your lip trembles as he looks into your eyes, and you know that the only reason you’re standing right now is because of the support of his rough hands. But you still try to back away as he brings you closer and embraces you. But it doesn’t feel right. Whereas your body used to fit together with his, it’s now like something chipped away, leaving a jagged gap. It feels so fucking wrong.

You let him hold you for a moment before you speak. And when you do, you’re not quite sure where it comes from. You think that the words were bouncing around in your head, but you didn’t want to actually say them, you didn’t try. But they come out—quiet and trembling—but they do.

“Let me go.” It’s spoken almost incoherently into his chest, but he goes still all the same. He doesn’t attempt to loosen his grip.

“Javi,” you say, more confident than you figured it would be. You think it might be the anger coming forward and holding you up, lifting your voice higher. “Let me go.”

He loosens up slowly, but keeps you in his grasp as he steps back just enough to look into your wet eyes. “What did you just say to me?”

Anger bubbles up even more, causing you to boil over.

“I said let me the fuck go,” you seethe, matching his firey gaze. You pull one arm away from him and he snatches you back quicker than you can blink. You’re flipped onto your stomach and your front half is pinned to the bed in a flash.

“Let me fucking go!” you yell and thrash, fear creeping up alongside your fury. Javi’s heavy body covers yours, his grunt spilling into your ear as he uses all his weight to keep you between him and the mattress, defenseless and unable to move. The more you squirm, the tighter he holds you, his grip crushing to the point where you cry out in pain.

He doesn’t relent until you stop struggling, and instead lay there and pant like a feral dog being forced down for a shot. His chest heaves against your back from his efforts as his hot breath fans across the side of your face. You smell a faint tinge of alcohol, but you don’t think it’s much. He must have not been home for too long. Maybe just enough for one or two beers before he saw the pills or grew curious about your absence.

“There’s something you need to understand, sweetheart,” he says quietly and so calmly that it sends a shiver down your sweaty spine. He waits to make sure you don’t have anything to say before he continues. “I’m in charge here, and you need to get that inside your dumb little head.”

Your stomach drops with dread, your eyelids fluttering as you resist the urge to close them. Whatever part of your heart that hadn’t cracked and bruised within the last few weeks, just fell apart. You’re overcome by a sudden surge of grief, the only thing racing through your mind just keeps repeating to you that your husband is gone, lost for good. You’re alone and you’ll never see him again. Your body trembles, and Javi must recognize it as submission.

“Everything I do is for you, whether you like it or not,” he growls. “You need to start showing some fucking respect about it.”

You both lay there for a while, and it’s like you’re seeing it from the outside. A scared woman being pulled apart from the inside by the shell of the man who once gave her everything. She doesn’t know where he went, nor what happened for him to leave, but she knows that she’ll, too, never be the same.

When Javi gets back up, you stay exactly where he left you. You’re not crying anymore, but you think it’s because you’re finally out of tears. Come to think of it, you don’t remember the last time you drank something. Your body is probably incredibly dehydrated.

“I’m going to make dinner,” Javi tells you from the doorway. “Get yourself together and be at the table in half an hour.”

You nod shallowly into the mattress, not looking at him, not looking at anything as he walks away. You don’t wait long before you numbly drag yourself into the shower, locking the bathroom door for the first time since you’ve been living with Javi. You strip, avoiding the mirror, and then crawl into the shower and just sit in the hot stream for a moment. It’s almost a little too hot, but you don’t pay too much attention to it.

All of your energy goes into clearing your mind. You don’t want to fucking think, you just want it to stop. You let the water wash it all away; the grief, the fear, the ache, the sadness, the pain, the lingering hope and happiness that doesn’t seem to get the hint that it’s no longer welcome here.

The next thing you now, you’re back out of the shower, your hair and body scrubbed clean. You’re towelling your wet breasts off, trying not to think about anybody else's hands on them. You never want to be touched again, now that your body has been tainted and defiled. You feel broken and disgusting.

You jump when the doorknob rattles, your heart racing as you clutch the towel close to you. There’s a quiet sigh and then a gentle knock from the other side.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?”

Your legs wobble as your vision blurs. He sounds so normal that it fucking kills you. He sounds like your husband, caring and concerned. You forget to answer, stuck all alone inside your head.

“Sweetheart?” No response comes from your lips. “I’m coming in,” he tells you. And you don’t protest, because that hope that you’d tried so hard to scrub away has somehow lingered and clung to your battered heart.

The door starts to unlock and slowly open, and you take a step back to make room. When it’s open all the way, you catch the eyes of your husband standing in the doorway. He watches you with sympathy and something you clock as regret. He opens his arms and gives you a barely-there smile. It doesn’t reach his sad eyes, but it conveys what he’s trying to say. I’m sorry, please forgive me.

You bolt forward, immediately sobbing into his chest as he wraps his arms around you. You want to hate yourself for how quickly you give in, but you can’t. A different person, you tell yourself. You soak up the attention he’s giving you, relief flooding your very bones as you accept his embrace. His chin comes down to rest on your head as he holds you tightly and shushes you.

“I know, baby,” he whispers. “I know.”

He pets your hair and brings you into the bedroom, helping you sit down on the bed as you sniffle and attempt to dry your tears. He goes to the dresser and then comes back with one of his T-shirts and a pair of your underwear and pajama shorts. You calm down as you stand and let him dress you, savoring the calmness that’s filled the air.

When you’re dressed, he leads you into the kitchen, where he has what smells like chicken noodle soup warming on the stovetop. You sit down at the table as he makes you a bowl and brings it over to you along with a glass of water, of which you quickly gulp down half of. Your mouth waters at the smell, your empty stomach grumbling. He hands you your spoon, places a kiss to the top of your head, and takes the seat across from you.

You eat in silence, allowing yourself to sink back into your body. The soup warms you and you find it easier to relax. The meal is spent in a comfortable silence, and Javi waits for you to finish your bowl before he talks again.

“I invited Steve and Connie for dinner next weekend.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. You’d thought he didn’t like them.

“Do you think you could make dinner Sunday night? I can pick something up, but I think they’d both be lucky to try your cooking,” he winks at you, a smile playing at his lips.

Your cheeks heat slightly and you avoid his gaze as you smile as well, pride swelling in your chest. “Yeah, I can do that,” you tell him. “What would you like?”

“Whatever you feel like, sweetheart.”

You nod and get up to get another small bowl of soup. When you turn back to the table, he motions for you to come toward him.

“C’mere, baby,” he pleads, pushing his chair out so you have room to sit on his lap. Your heart jumps to your throat out of reflex, but you walk toward him anyway, trying to quell your anxiety as you lower yourself on to him. He waits for you to get comfortable, your legs dangling off of one side of his lap. He nuzzles his face into your cheek as his hand grips your waist, and your breath hitches.

“I hope you forgive me for earlier, baby,” he whispers. “I know I was rough. I was just so scared.”

You lean back slightly to look at him, at the vulnerability in his eyes. You don’t even think about what happened in the bedroom as you tell him, “It’s okay, Javi. I forgive you.” You give him a weak smile and cup one side of his jaw, stroking the light stubble there.

“I meant it, though,” he says gently. “I’ll always do what’s best for you, and I’m sorry if you don’t like that sometimes.”

You swallow, ignoring the lump in your throat as you nod. “It’s okay,” you assure him, though your voice is barely even a whisper. You hold as still as you can as Javi leans forward and presses a barely-there kiss to your lips. He doesn’t linger, and a part of you is extremely thankful for that.

“Alright, baby,” he says, his lips tickling your jaw. “Go ahead and finish your soup.”

You nod and pick up your spoon.

******

Lmk if anyone would like to be added or taken off of the taglist!

Series taglist: @corazondebeskar @yorksgirl @nerdieforpedro @axshadows @melaninmommy @survivingandenduring @kewwrites @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @callachloe @missladym1981 @sofiparallel @koshkaj-blog @sheepdogchick3 @movievillainess721 @jessie8605 @casa-boiardi @justlulu @iamsherlocked-1998 @hjzghi-blog @glitterymanboy @letstalkaboutshtufff

#javier peña #dark!fic #dark!javier peña x f!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #dead dove do not eat #dark fic

60 notes · View notes