survivorjennaalways

[survivorjennaalways]

Hey 2021 - Checking In :)

Hey 2021 – Checking In :)

Well well… It has been awhile.. I think it is time that I check in. Happy New Year to all of you that survived 2020. I am beyond grateful that I have still received views on the content I have previously posted. I have been absent for quite some time, my health took a turn in the summer of 2020 with an severe flare up of Irritable Bowel Syndrome.. at the time I had to get a procedure done to…

[survivorjennaalways]

Peter's Journey

Peter’s Journey

Hello my friends and new visitors.

Thank you for reading and feel free to share. I am providing the links below at the bottom of this post of all the resources mentioned. As I myself have struggled with health issues, Peter inspires and reminds me to move forward, create content and help others while we help ourselves.

As I started this blog I have mentioned on a previous post that I am…

[survivorjennaalways]

Physical Health matters message from me xo I know I have shared mental health struggles, views and stigma. However, I think it is important to address that those who struggle with physical health issues/conditions/diseases often feel judged and alone.

[survivorjennaalways]

Shedding Shame - Poem

Shedding Shame – Poem

I don’t want to carry the heavy burdens of yesterday’s regrets. I don’t want to dictate my worth because of the dark feelings that follow. I can’t look at my reflection and be cruel anymore. I want an different outlook, a new way of being. Another story far different than my own. The story is re-directed from the painful routine inside my head. Shedding shame while building flames inside my spirit. Wher…

[survivorjennaalways]

Dear Dark World

I still can’t believe all that is happening now in this dark world.. From the covid-19 virus changing lives, and racism showcased by an undeserved death. George Flood’s death highlighted and heightened the dark truth of racism in this world. Imagine all the other similar deaths we have not seen documented but continues to happen . Where humans are continued to be judged for the color of their skin.

[survivorjennaalways]

Another Way - Poem

Another Way – Poem

I try As I get by Hurt deepens with time Stuck or Living My mind created the dungeon inside my head My heart kept still As my body followed my thoughts Between shock and react Tainted by trauma Chasing Presence as grief catches me Driven by hope I may For a new way Another perspective I seek A new reason I crave An different vision I dream of Another way Far from my way

[survivorjennaalways]

The Mean One - Poem

The Mean One – Poem

The one that makes you uneasy The kind that make you cringe The type that makes you fearful or angry Remembering When he tried to burn my little girl arms with his cigarette While he poured beer on my head and laughed The kind that makes remarks Pretends to be a friend Yet leaves as the bully The predator I still remember the hate I felt The way he would grab my face hard No one else ever saw the actions

[survivorjennaalways]

Chasing Grief - Poem

Chasing Grief – Poem

Collapsing in the wonder of what if Where do they go I ask Do their wings grow every time you miss them Will the hurt fade as they fly Do they see the tears Can they hear all the fears inside my head Does the pain I carry shine light on their new path Can they feel the love I send and spend The memory The aftermath The loss changed me Following my way Grief chasing me To this day

[survivorjennaalways]

Patio Progress

Ah ha! since my last post about my patio I have experienced some updates.. luckily plants are on sale!! and I got myself hot pepper plant to add to the list, extra cherry tomatoes plant, rose plant and a yellow lily flower.

So I will be adding extra pics here to show the progress and I am super excited my friend who I have not seen in awhile says she has a ton of plants from her garden she…

[survivorjennaalways]

Start of my Garden Patio - New Hobby

Start of my Garden Patio – New Hobby

AHHH so excited for the start of my patio garden!! I have always loved flowers they bring me such joy and I have always preferred the taste of fresh vegetables and fruit from the garden instead of purchased from the grocery store… man what a difference. Right now I have some flowers, an strawberry plant and some cherry tomato plants. I get so excited seeing the little strawberries grow and become…

[survivorjennaalways]

Tired and still Strong

Tired and still Strong

Hey you guys! I just want to thank you for every view and like, and each comment I receive it means the world to me. Sometimes I get insecure about the heavy darkness I may write at times, but I want you to know that no matter how deep in sorrow I may feel at the moment, or how tired I am in the fight with life at times, however I never give up or lose hope. So many obstacles in life where I have…

[survivorjennaalways]

Little one of Myself - Poem

Little one of Myself – Poem

I miss the way she laughed with her whole heart until her stomach start to hurt I miss the presence she would bring asthe rebel that spoke her truth I miss the bravery she faced and learned I miss the way she embraced the reactions she caused and carried on I miss the way she saw the beauty in other’s hearts even if they hurt her I miss the way she used to believe all was possible I miss the fearless…

[survivorjennaalways]

Burn Out Again - Making Change Happen

Burn Out Again – Making Change Happen

Ever experienced burn out? has all your energy been drained and you can barely get out of bed?. Do you despise your circumstances and finally hit the breaking point?. I feel you.. it may be time for a change like me. I’ve been here before.. and finally time hit me hard again. I know I am the only one that can make this change.. Only my action will get me to where and who I want to be. Tweeking…

[survivorjennaalways]

Survivors become Heroes - *Warning* - Poem about Sexual Assault.

Survivors become Heroes – *Warning* – Poem about Sexual Assault.

Heartache spills over As words sting to the core Labels, accusations, questions consume One action robbed the innocence Destroying the family Stolen of the long ago hope and trust of human nature Judged by some Supported by few Relationships become hurt and changed Taking sides yet missing the old times An now traumatised teenage girl Now on guard and reactive Flashbacks and pained memories remain Ignoring I…

[survivorjennaalways]

His Friend - Poem

His Friend – Poem

Still here thinking of the days All the laughter and presence I felt with him Companionship feels robbed now I was the between time Now I see the messages clear Was I misled or foolish I ask myself The hidden pontential or tragedy he predicted I may be Make believe love story led me here Pretending to play the role he needed Each time he left Grieving until he arrived again Still craving his acceptance Missi…

[survivorjennaalways]

Cheated Heart - Poem

Cheated Heart – Poem

I think of each lie I loved Each story he told and I believed every time Leaving me feeling foolish and now jaded Yet I know not every love story is meant to sting like this Tainted by experience Stolen time Hurt lingers and carries Still my biggest regret is the power I gave him By breaking I became bitter He made me hate love That is the power I wish I never gave him

[survivorjennaalways]

Substances and Human Nature - Poem about losing someone with addiction

Substances and Human Nature – Poem about losing someone with addiction

Substances and human nature May combine together Some for recreation Others sink into the chronic toxic From stable to lost Judgements and labels follow Becoming unstable feel lonely Creating desperation while numbing the pain Whether slow deaths or fast goodbye’s The one time Final hit Last Line For the last time Empty poison bottles Used needles and broken dreams Cravings destroy connections Sober to relapse Su…