suzie-shooter - Tumblr blog

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people born in 24 Are 2000 now

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oh my god. you saw the ad and thought WHAT???? im so sorry for the panic, they charged us by the letter!!! no, no, timmy’s thirteen now, we found the baby shoes in an old gift bag in the garage

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Face palm.

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my liege you cannot trust this buffoon. he doesn’t even begin every other sentence with “my liege.” he‘ll never whisper in your ear the way i do it, my liege. sire. your fuckableness

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Gently and tactfully introducing my mutuals to the latest just a guy™ I’m obsessed with like a divorced mother introducing their new boyfriend to their children

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when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

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Formula 1 should take a page out of IndyCar’s book and have more random mannequins on the side of the track to spice things up.

From Mattzel89 on X

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this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby

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so i saw this tweet earlier

you too can have a pingus for the low low price of One Thousand Five Hundred pounds quid

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New discourse: it's actually predatory to date someone with a different star sign than you, because the differences in your personalities means you'll never be able to have exactly the same life experiences, thus leaving a knowledge and power gap between the two of you which will inevitably lead to an abusive relationship!

also if you're a Sag and you're dating a Taurus, that means you're secretly seeking a May-December relationship, which is age gap coded!

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there are some internet friends where eventually you start calling them by their real name and then there’s times where its like nah son your name is crispy forever

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