svudrabbles

[svudrabbles]

announcement

alright, hate to say it but i have no drive to continue this blog atm lol. maybe sometime in the future. idk if any of you are Orphan Black fans, but ive propped up a new blog (orphanblackdrabbles). feel free to go check it out and give requests.

[svudrabbles]

I couldn’t tell you how long I’d been laying awake. Could have been an hour, possibly longer, but I was perfectly content to sit here with my hand running through her tangled blond hair. The smile on her face while she slept let me know she was having sweet dreams so long as I was keeping contact with her slumbering body. 

I had waited so long for this girl that cuddled into me. I had fought hard for her to open up to me. Any moment to feel her warmth, I would take full advantage of. There was a fear at times that I might wake up and she wouldn’t be there. That perhaps this was all an elaborate dream. Every kiss, every touch, every I love you...maybe it was just one very, very vivid dream. 

Who am I to deserve the love of the most beautiful woman to have ever crossed my path? Who am I to deserve her intimacy? Who am I to deserve her trust? I swallow hard, my heart begins to pick up speed. I don’t know why my mind always wanders to that which terrifies me...even when I know she’s mine and she has no intention on ever leaving me or hurting me. 

I could feel her stir beneath me. Swiftly, she turns around and I come into contact with her face which was flushed from sleep. Her tired blue eyes fluttered open to meet my own. “Hi.”

I smile gently. “Hello, my love.”

“Why are you still awake?”

“Watching over you.” I mumble sleepily. 

She takes a deep breath, and motions for me to turn around, so I do, and she pulls me close to her. I allow myself to be held in her arms and her legs. Her lips press to the nape of my neck. “My turn to watch over you.”

“You know I love you?” She asks gently.

I smile.

“And...you trust that I love you?”

“Yes.” I say.

“Good.” I can tell she’s smiling now. “I will never let you forget it.”

[svudrabbles]

“I’m so fucking tired.” The brunette spat, running her hands through tangled hair. “I’m so tired of the same old shit. You always promise to change, and you never do.”

“What do you want me to do?” The blond muttered from her spot on the corner of the bed.

“I want you to let me in!” She cried. “I want to know you. I want to know who you really are under all this exterior. God, I’m so sick of the same shit. Getting drunk, fucking, waking up in an empty bed because you don’t have the decency to say good morning. I’m tired of being sucked up by you and getting nothing in return.”

The other woman’s blue eyes rose to the brunette’s brown. “You want to know me?”

The brunette was breathless; incapable of muttering a word.

So she stood, wrapped the woman before her in her arms, and kissed her deeply. The brunette stepped back, shoving the blond away from her. “What is this? A game? Some sick game to you? Your sick way of asking me to leave?”

“It’s my sick way of saying I can’t let you in.” The blond sputtered. “If I let you in, you will leave me just like everyone else. If I let you in, you’ll slip away because you’ll see that I’m not everything you thought I was. At least this way, at least by getting drunk, laying with you at night, and then leaving in the morning, at least then I know that I know you. I know you, and I know you love me despite the pain that I cause you, and I know you’ll be there the next day because I cannot fucking cope with the idea that you might not be there the next day.”

A thick silence filled the room. Both women were crying. 

“You know I’d never leave you.” The brunette whispered. “Never.”

“Why are you any different than anyone else?”

“Because I love you. That’s why I’m different. I love you, and because I love you, I would never leave you. Despite your insecurity and your flaws, and all of that pain...it makes me want to love you even more.”

The blond pursed her lips. “No one has ever loved me.”

“I have.” The brunette responded. “I do. But you have to let me.”

[svudrabbles]

The air in the studio apartment was thick due to the heat outside. It was midnight, but the humid Florida air hadn’t broken, although the air conditioner certainly had.

The circumstances had not stunted the two women though. It had been over a year since they’d been in physical contact, and when they’d bumped into one another at the bar, it was all they could do not to fall apart right there. A small, scrambled ‘hey, how are you, i missed you, wanna get out of here?’ would be exchanged before Rosie would drive Esme back to her apartment. Once arrived, little time was wasted before their layers had been stripped off and they’d spent over an hour making love.

Eventually, once tired and far too perspired to continue, Esme strolled over to the windows and opened them to allow some kind of a breeze inside as though she owned the place. Rosie loved this about her, among other things. So confident in all she did, and everywhere she went. The way her neck was lifted high, her shoulders pushed back, her hips swayed. She knew how attractive she was, and she knew just how to use it. Especially against Rosie.

Esme would sit across from Rosie, and run her hands through her thick black hair, her blue eyes piercing into Rosie’s brown. The dark haired girl was enthralled by the simple touch of the red head before her. A small smile reached Esme’s lips, and left almost as soon as it came. She stretched her arm to the night stand, and grabbed her cigarettes before lighting herself one; relaxing now, she laid her head at the foot of the bed.

Rosie stood in awe of the girl in front of her. How it was possible she existed, she did not know. No flaw existed on her naked body. Even while puffing on the cigarettes that she oh so hated, she was nothing but a work of art; a statue sculpted by God Himself.

Rosie made her way over Esme’s relaxed body, straddling her waist. 

Esme smirked. “I thought you hated when I smoked?”

“I do,” Rosie smiled sheepishly, bringing her mouth down near Esme’s, “but if you’re going to die of lung cancer, I might as well go with you.”

The red headed chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re an odd one, Posie.”

The two kissed.

Rosie would ignore the comment, because after all, she was an odd one; although so was Esme. For this reason, they just seemed to fit one another like a glove to a palm. 

[svudrabbles]

*smut*

This was, undeniably, a mistake. I was very much aware of how much I would regret this after it had been done.

But I couldn’t help myself. 

This woman wasn’t good for me, and I wasn’t good for her. Our futures didn’t align, and our values didn’t match, but there was nothing I could do about the fire she sparked in my belly. There was nothing I could do about the way my body reacted to her eyes on it. There was nothing I could do about how horny she made me by simply looking at me.

No, I could not complain when her hands were roaming my naked back, her knee between my thighs, rubbing against my slick pussy. I couldn’t complain when she grabbed a fist full of my hair, and tugged gently, putting my head in a position where she could litter kisses down my throat.

I couldn’t complain when she laid me down across her cold sheets, and enveloped my clit between her lips. How could I complain when she could make me scream? Not only was she rough, she was loving. She touched me just the way I needed, caressed me and kissed me. She asked permission, not in word, but in touch. I would grant it to her, and she would take me away.

How could I possibly complain when she could make me come like no one else? When her tight body was above me, making me making me do things I never thought were possible?

When we were done, tired, and perspired, I would lay in her arms and think about what an awful thing we had just done.

Still, a smile would reach my lips.

[svudrabbles]

Oh my love, the way she holds me sweetly. The way soft palms brush against my tingling skin leaving me desiring her embrace even more than the last time she did so. The way her lips linger on the nape of my neck, her warm breath dampening my skin. Her hands caress my hips as she litters kisses across my shoulders. 

A soft moan escapes my mouth accidentally. She responds, not in word, but in touch. Her fingers trickle down my inner thigh, upward, upward, upward...finally landing where they intend to stay.

My head leans back onto her shoulder, I bite down on my lip to quiet myself. Soon she is ever so gently touching me in the most intimate of places. Making sweet love to me as I cry out in absolute pleasure.

My back arches and her free hand roams through my curls. I yelp one more time before I release, relaxing against her perspired body. She wraps her legs around me, and kisses my cheek ever so softly. 

“So beautiful.” Her lips mutter against my skin. “Always so beautiful.” 

[svudrabbles]

I don’t know much about my night time lover,

but I know the gleam of her skin in the moonlight. 

I know her gentle, graceful movements

that she silences me with each evening.

I know the touch of long, tender hands,

the way her plush lips purse when she’s nervous.

I see the desperation in her eyes to leave

almost as quickly as she’s come.

I know the swish of her skirt when she dances

across the wooden floor boards. 

The giggle that bubbles up from her throat

when I twirl her around.

I know the waterfall of dark black tendrils 

after she releases her curls from her neatly kept bun.

I know the tears she weeps when she believes I am asleep.

I don’t know what bed she returns to when she leaves mine.

I don’t know what her home looks like,

I’ve never been to her place of work,

I don’t know how she likes her tea,

but I know her more intimately than most.

I know my night time lover.

[svudrabbles]

guys, i had to go ahead and clean out my inbox.

feel free to keep requesting. i’d like to start filling some for you guys,

[svudrabbles]

Are you as fed up of me at them teasing Rollins and Carisi but not doing shit with them?

i dont ship rollisi, so i dont mind it. LOL

[svudrabbles]

Outside of the balcony window you could see lots of things. Hoards of cars inching down hectic city streets, you could hear honking and screaming. It didn’t matter what time of day it was. There was no difference between three in the afternoon and three in the morning. All that would change were the faces that would pass, and I’d wonder who they were. How did they grow up? How were they feeling that day? Would they return to a safe environment? Were their hearts breaking? Were their smiles fake? 

The city that never sleeps. Perfect for the woman that never sleeps. 

Years ago I’d come to the conclusion that when I was no longer alone, my brain would come to a silence. That maybe if I felt safe and warm, my thoughts would dissipate and finding slumber would come with ease.

My head turns to the woman beside me and a smile finds itself on my face. There was nothing to complain about. I had the career I desired, I had someone who adored me and I very much adored them. I was living in the city that brought me everything I asked for.

This thing, though, this unease wouldn’t leave. Sometimes I’m scared that when I wake up it will have all had been a dream. Maybe she would leave me. Maybe I’d be alone again. The fear of abandonment fell over me like a thick fog that wouldn’t lift. Not until the sun started to rise again.

So I’d watch over her, ensure she was sleeping sweetly. I would watch the stars and the moon. Eventually I may pass out before awakening a few hours later. She would wake up to find me and I’d send her a tired smile. I hope to myself she doesn’t know I stay awake at night. I try with everything in me to ensure she never knows about this irrational fear I can feel deep in my bones.

Isn’t it interesting how deafening silence is?

[svudrabbles]

This was not an ideal situation. Neither woman wanted to be next to each other, let alone in the same vicinity as one another, but here they were and there was nothing they could do about it.

After a horrendous argument, they both decided they would no longer be together. Frankly, it had turned into a situation where neither would speak to the other. Having the same friend group could make this difficult though.

This was the first get together they’d both been invited to in a few months now since their debacle. Had their friends done this on purpose? Yes, unbeknownst to them.

Sitting at the bar dangerously close to one another, neither woman acknowledged the other. The brunette sipped her red merlot, whilst the blond twirled her whiskey around, sloshing the liquid across the walls of her cup.

The silence was disturbed by the bartender. “Refill?”

The ladies looked up, and in unison said, “Huh?”

The bartender cleared his throat, “The wine. Do you want another?”

“Oh,” the brunette eyed her nearly empty drink, “why not.”

He smiled before grabbing the glass from her and walking away with it.

The blond exhaled slowly, her heart rate rising now. She desired to speak, to say something to the person beside her. There was something at the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

Just like that, as it always went, the brunette initiated. “Hi.”

Her head whipped around to meet dark brown eyes, hidden behind long eyelashes thickened with mascara. She gulped. “Hey. Fancy seeing you here.” The blond muttered.

The woman chuckled, nodding to the bartender who returned with her drink. “I could say the same to you.”

“When did you get back to New York?”

“Yesterday.” She responded, pursing her red colored lips. “Was nice to get out of the city for awhile.”

“I bet. You always wanted to see Greece.”

The brunette grinned slyly. “How’d you know about that?”

A blush ran across the blond’s cheeks. Her eyes widened, as she’d forgotten that this information had come from a third party. “...I asked Anne.”

“You could have asked me.” She said softly.

“No.” The blond shook her head. “No, I don’t think I could have, love.”

“Whose fault was that?”

It was her fault, the blond knew. She had been the instigator. She had brought that fight on, and she would be the one to bring it to a close. She had hurt her deeply. 

They both knew the answer to her question, and silence fell onto them once more.

“I’ve missed you.” The brunette mumbled before sliding off of her seat, allowing her hand to rest on the older woman’s shoulder. “I mean, for what it’s worth.”

“I’ve missed you too.” She whispers tenderly. “A lot.”

The younger of the two inhales deeply. “Come back with me...to my apartment.”

“I don’t know if that’s smart.”

“It isn’t.” She giggled. “But when was any decision we made together well thought out, mm?”

The blond gave a short nod, plopping a wad of cash on the table in front of her to cover both of their drinks. 

The walk from the bar to the brunette’s apartment wasn’t a long one. It was a walk the two knew very well, actually. Drinks Up was an old haunt of theirs, it was the place they had their first date, and many others. Their hearts were pounding against their ribs, anxiety rippled through their bodies. Somewhere along the way, they’d come just close enough to brush hands. First their pinkies intertwined, until their palms were firmly pressed together.

Once they arrived inside, there was no time wasted. The blond pressed the brunette firmly against the now locked door. Soft hands wandered over soft, shapely hips. Her lips attached to the younger woman’s neck, sucking ever so softly at the oh so tender skin. The brunette allowed her finger tips to graze the blond’s cleavage, she bit down on her lip to keep herself from moaning.

“I missed the way your body felt under my hands.” The elder whispered into her ear.

“I missed your lips on mine.” She quivered out.

The two made eye contact, and the blond closed the distance between them. Their lips intertwined like twigs around a tree, their tongues grazing. Warm touches pressed to tingling skin, footsteps backing up through a darkened hallway to a bedroom only illuminated by the city outside of an open window.

Once there, the two separated and stripped off their clothing until they were entirely and utterly naked. Feeling vulnerable, and suddenly emotional, they stared at one another for what felt like eternity. 

“Can you just...” The brunette gulped, her arms crossing over her chest. “hold me? Like you used to?”

The blond backed up into the bed, her back pressed against the wall. The brunette crawled into her lap, resting her head against the woman’s chest. The older of the two wrapped her arms around the younger, and kissed her forehead softly.

“I’m sorry.” The younger muttered. “I feel like I teased you.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, baby. I needed to be with you more than I needed to have sex with you...I missed you. I missed you so much.”

“I don’t want you to ever leave again.” The brunette stated. “I don’t want to fight. I don’t want you to be mad. I just want to stay here forever.”

With a deep breath in, the blond said, “I would love nothing more than to hold you, right here, right now, forever.”

“But you can’t...right?”

Silence.

“Don’t talk, baby.” She finally responded. “Please. Can we just be?”

That was their dynamic. That was their ever so toxic dynamic.

One wanted the rest of their lives, while the other couldn’t imagine what that looked like. The brunette desired security, while the blond was a ticking time bomb. The two simply would never work, despite their strong love for one another. That, well...that’s what hurt the most.

[svudrabbles]

She should have seen this coming. In fact, it would’ve been the most logical assessment of the situation. The dynamic was fucked to begin with, and the end result was bound to be something awful, but she couldn’t help herself. 

“Please, just talk to me.” She reached out to the woman before her, who was shaking with sobs. 

The woman pulled back, crying out, but not responding.

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand why this has to end.”

“Don’t you get it?” She spun on her heels, her eyes red and full of despair. 

“Get what?”

“That we’re not all built for this!” She shouted, her arms stretching out to her sides. “We’re not all built like you.”

Confusion struck her. “Built for what?”

“Love.” The woman sputtered, sniffling. “We’re not all made for love.”

She swallowed the growing lump in her throat, her head shook lightly, and her now trembling hand grasped the woman’s. This time, she did not pull away. “We are all built for love. It is all but a choice of if we desire to allow ourselves to be loved.”

“I don’t have anything to love.” 

“You are my world.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I would cross the seven seas just to be with you. I love every flaw, and every strength. Every fight we’ve had, every moment we’ve shared. Love...you are more than deserving of this.”

The woman was unsure of what to say. Her eyes drifted to the ground beneath her. 

“You have a choice to make. Allow me to love you, or let me go.”

“I...I can’t.” She sputtered.

With a sigh, she said, “Then you’ve made your choice.”

A soft kiss to a dampened cheek, and she began walking away from the woman she adored. 

But a moment passed before the woman ran up to her, grabbed her by the waist and spun her around to gaze deeply into her eyes. “I love you. Please don’t ever walk away from me again.”

Soon enough their lips were attached. Both weeped as they held each other close. 

[svudrabbles]

There is something so tender and intimate about sitting back as the woman you love is readying herself for bed. Eyes trace soft, supple skin, appreciating every curve, line, dimple, stretch mark. The way her hands run through her hair, the way clothes slide off of her body. She turns around to face you, and sends you a small smile before her attention goes back to the fabric she’s sliding up her legs.

You could ask yourself...how were you so lucky for this woman to fall into your lap, but you weren’t lucky. This wasn’t luck. This was pure chance. You did absolutely nothing to deserve her, but she stayed, and she absolutely adored you. 

Being all boxed up inside together gave you a chance to admire her. Truly admire her. Appreciate all of her good qualities, and every one of her flaws. To appreciate the way she looks when she wakes up, and the way she looks when she lays down for bed. To appreciate the sound of her singing voice when she showers. To appreciate her giggle and the way she still blushes when I compliment her.

She dresses, and takes her spot next to me once more. I envelope her against my skin, and she smiles. “What’s that all about?”

“I adore you.” I whisper into her shoulder. “Utterly, and absolutely adore you.”

Her cheeks and the bridge of her nose turn a rosy pink, and she smiles sheepishly. ***  this isnt SVU related but i thought i should post *something* i hope you guys are staying safe, home, and washing your hands <3

[svudrabbles]

Imagine being Casey’s daughter, and getting into a fight with her

Request:

Can I request a one shot where R is Casey’s daughter and they fight because she works so much but they make up in the end?

***

Another lonely night sitting in a lamp illuminated living room, eating day old chinese food with the television on a random channel.

You weren’t even paying attention to what was on. All you were consumed with was worry. Your mother hadn’t told you when she’d be home, and it was already ten at night. This wasn’t exactly uncommon, but it worried you nonetheless. 

When you heard the door unlock, you first instinct was to drop your food, run to your mother, and envelope her in a hug. You’d give anything to just sit with her and let her hold you like she used to. 

But no. You were not going to give into that temptation. You wanted her to understand you were unhappy.

“Y/N?” She called out.

You gave no response.

You heard her things drop on the floor, and her heels click against the floor. She saw you on the couch and gave you a tired smile. “Hey.”

“Hi.” You muttered.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“You know it’s been three days since i’ve seen you?” You placed your takeout container on the table. 

Your mother sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No. You aren’t.” You shook your head. “You do this all the time.”

Casey was beginning to get frustrated now. “I have to work, Y/N. How else do you expect to have a good education? To have food to eat? To dress well?”

“Mom, I’d rather have a public education, eat out less, and not give a shit about my fashion choices if it meant you being home more.” You raised your voice a bit. “Do you think I care if I go to yale? I’d be just as happy at NYU, but it seems like you care more about work than about me, and you blame it on me having ‘better opportunities’.”

The red head was taken aback by that. She ran a hand through her hair, and exhaled slowly. “You know that isn’t true.”

“Do I?” You mumbled.

She removed her heels, and got onto the couch. She opened her arms wide. “Come here.”

You gave her an unsure glance.

“Y/N.”

With a huff, you climbed into her lap which you were far too big for, and she wrapped her arms around you tightly. You snuggled into your mothers chest, taking a deep breath of the perfume she’d worn since you were little. Tears stung your eyes.

“I love you. I am sorry that we haven’t been spending much time together. I promised myself when you were born I’d be better than my mom, and I haven’t been.”

“That’s not true.” You said softly.

“It is.” She caressed your hair gently. “I’ve been too caught up in my own work than I have been in you. I’m not investing in you enough, and I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay.” You squeezed her.

“It isn’t. But I want to fix that. I want to be here for you more, okay?”

You nodded.

“Will you forgive me?”

You looked up into her green eyes, and chewed on your lower lip. “Of course.”

She smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you.”

“Tomorrow is Saturday. You’ll be home right?”

“Yes. We can do whatever you want, too.”

“Okay.” You smiled, resting your head on her chest again. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, baby.”

[svudrabbles]

Casey brings you down from a long day of work *

Request:

I was wondering if you could do one where the reader has had a long day at work and Casey helps her relax if you know what I mean. And Casey is super sweet about it.

***

It wasn’t often Casey got a day off, but when she did you tried to ensure you’d also be home. That’s what happened this Monday, so you tried to work things out with your generally very understanding boss, but they were already short staffed so it just wasn’t going to happen.

You decided, though, that was fine. You’d have, at the very least, a quiet evening at home with your girlfriend and be able to do whatever it is the both of you wanted.

Unfortunately, a nice and quiet evening at home would be the last thing you thought you’d get. Work was especially difficult and hectic. All you wanted to do was go home, cry, and sleep. 

When you did arrive home, Casey was in your bedroom folding laundry and listening to a podcast. You dropped your things next to your door softly, and she looked up with a smile on her face. “Hey. Are you okay?”

You shrugged off your jacket. “Very long day.”

Her face softened and she patted the bed in front of her. You kicked off your shoes and climbed onto the bed, where you wrapped your legs around her waist, and settled into her lap. She wrapped her arms around your waist, and you laid your head on her shoulder. 

“You wanna talk about it?” She asked gently.

“No.” You mumbled, tracing shapes on the exposed gap of skin between her tanktop and sweatpants. “I just want to be with you.”

She exhaled softly, brushing hair away from the side of your neck, where she began to kiss softly. “Let me relax you.”

You sighed. “I don’t know if I’m up for sex.”

“Not sex.” She whispered, her lips trailing up to your jaw. “Just...let me love you. Let me make you feel happy.”

You smiled.

Casey had a way of making the smallest things intimate. She could strip you of your clothing, caress you, kiss you, whisper sweet nothings...and she never asked for a thing in return. Your nakedness was a gift to her, and she treated it as such.

“Okay.” You agreed.

She gingerly took your polo shirt off of you, pulling it over your head and to the side of the bed. “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on.”

You blushed as her hand softly unclipped your hair, causing it to pool around your face. 

“Lay down for me, love.”

You obliged.

Her hands went to your jeans. She unbuttoned and unzipped them before tugging them down your legs, leaving you in your undergarments. Her hands massaged over your legs, then your hips. You moaned as her fingers untangled the knots beneath your skin. 

“You’re kind, and loving. You’re joyful and considerate.” She mumbled, pressing a kiss to your belly.

You smiled, her hand softly caressing her arm. 

Her palm rested under your back, and pushed up a bit to get you to arch it. She unbuckled your bra, and slid the fabric off of your body.

Her lips came close to your right ear, and her hand wrapped around your left breast. “Nice milkers, ma.”

You snorted, bursting out into giggles. 

She laughed as well, pulling back just to see you smile. 

“I hate you.” You chuckled, hiding the blush on your face with your hands.

“You love me.” She laid beside you, kissing your shoulder.

You removed your hands and turned your head to look at her. “I do love you.”

“There’s that smile.” She mumbled, caressing a thumb across your cheek. “I love your smile.”

You kissed her palm and took a deep breath. “Thank you, Casey.”

“Anything and everything for you, Y/N.”

[svudrabbles]

I just wanted to say that I love your writing and stories. You're incredible at what you do and I hope that you continue to write more stories. I read them every day.

thank you so so so much. i beyond appreciate that. <3

[svudrabbles]

We love a dominant Olivia

damn straight we do