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Brief (Geek Boy)

Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt - Episode 12

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Could you do some stamps with brief from paswg? :0

★👻🧡BRIEF PASWG STAMPS🔸🪽

👓These stamps are free to use! Stamp template by 💚

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RADIOACTIVE yuri

Trader Joe’s but lore accurate. tagging u bc you’ll enjoy this even though it’s morally reprehensible to do so @svwhssftr

“Fuck!” Strike screamed, her knees folding as she slammed an empty glass bottle onto her wall. Shards of glass scattered, slicing the skin above her dirtied combat boots. She heavily breathed, her back arched and her arms shaking. 

Crow knew better than to speak. 

“I’m so fucking tired!” she barked. “He gets away with every-fucking-thing. Why does he get every damn thing he wants? I have nothing! I have nothing going for me. I’m done with this shit. I have no reason to be alive right now. It’s all a loop—train, go home, drink to feel something, kill to make myself feel something, whatever. I’m never making it out. I’m gonna kill myself before I do.”

She wasn’t talking to him. She was talking to herself. There was some strange magic in the way her eyes softened at his body curled on her bed, clutching a pillow—some sort of feigned sympathy and long-lost innocence. 

“Oh, but you’re just like me. You aren’t making it out of this shithole either. You have nowhere else to go, and neither do I. We only have each other. We’re fuckin’ poison, but it’s better than the alternative.” 

There was no use in correcting her. She wasn’t listening to him. 

“Really, it’s true. We’re gonna rot here in this stuck-up, shit-faced town. But you make it bearable, baby.” Strike lifted a shard of her bottle from her carpet, stained with blood, and tucked it into the waist of her cargo pants. She haphazardly removed her sun-faded Rob Zombie shirt before aimlessly scratching her back, her quivering fingers caught between her bra straps.

“Take it off of me. Do whatever you want. You know what works.” She smiled. Her smile was damn pretty. In the moment, it could make anyone forget all that was wrong with her. Her legs buckled as she collapsed across from him on the bed, and he easily unhooked the back of her bra. Her tan lines were still visible in the dark, her muscles and scars defined by the flickering lamplight. 

“Okay,” she breathed, straddling him as she reached into her pocket. “You’re okay?”

Crow nodded as her weight sank into his hips. Strike gently cupped his face and kissed him, cheap booze rancid on her breath. Her other hand unbuttoned his jean shorts and fumbled through his peekaboo boxers, teasing him. He softly whimpered and his ankle twitched. She paused. 

“No, not now. I’m not in the mood for that. You’re not in the mood for that. Let me just—“ 

She yanked down his boxers further, fully exposing him, before slicing open his thigh with her shard of glass. He yelped, and she stifled his mouth with her hand. 

“Don’t complain. This is why I love you.” She smiled again as she removed her hand and adjusted her thong strap. “Be quiet for me, okay?” 

“Okay,” Crow whispered. 

“Your voice is so pretty when you’re tired. You’re so perfect, everything about you. Like a little doll.” She dug the shard further into this thigh, making more horizontal cuts. He blinked back tears as he suppressed his vocal cords. 

“Does that feel good?” she asked, tracing the fresh wounds with her hand. Crow nodded. She bent down to kiss them, the alcohol still fresh on her lips burning the open cuts. 

“This is hotter than sex. If I could, I’d cut you open and gut you and stuff you to make my sex doll, but you’re one of the few living people I can stand. I need you around. I can’t do that.” She tugged on the collar of his shirt as she spoke, admiring the speckles around his collarbones. “I wish you’d tell me more of your fantasies. I like it when you’re perverted. I know it’s in you, baby. You’re just as fucked-up as I am deep down. You know I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I’ll be okay,” he whispered. 

“You wanna know what I was thinking about the other night? While I was masturbating.” Strike cleared her throat. “I kill Mako. I kill my dad, too, actually. I desecrate their bodies entirely—rip out their nails, their hair, their eyes, their teeth, whatever I can get my hands on. I tie them up and let their bodies dry out. I skin them, then I take the best parts of their meat and eat it raw. I bury their bones in the backyard, and their brains, too, so they really know what’s going on. I call you over, we drink their blood, and I get you pregnant right over their graves.”

The only sound in the room was her rickety box fan whirring. “I wish I had a dick to come inside you. Like, really stretch you open. I want to feel you around me.” 

“Yeah,” Crow peeped. 

“You always look so pretty riding my strap. Like when you come and I can feel it on me? But I like missionary, too. I like any position with you. You’re so fucking pretty. I love you so much.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“I like missionary because I can pin down your wrists. I like it when you lose all control. You’re so wild-eyed when you’re panicked. It’s cute. Like right now, I can tell you’re freaked out by me. But kind of turned on, aren’t you?” 

Crow didn’t respond. Strike gutturally chuckled. 

“I don’t want to do anything tonight, though. I can’t even see straight. I’ll see you in the morning.” She sprawled herself over his lap and closed her eyes, her neck going limp as soon as she relaxed. Crow wrapped her t-shirt around the wounds on his thigh, then fell asleep next to her.

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Cheetah cubs feasting on an impala Taken in Maasai Mara, Kenya Photographed by Madhur Nangia

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Fanfiction is great because you can see so clearly how people learn to write.

Some people, it's clear, learned almost entirely through absorbing the world around them. Grammar and punctuation will be all over the place, spellings are approximate, but the voice of the narration will come through so clearly. You can hear the dialect of the people around them as of they're telling the story. It's not a written story, it's a transcription of how they talk in their day to day life.

Some people learned through reading a gazillion books as a kid. Grammer and spelling will be rock solid, formatting occasionally based on the single tab of physical books rather than the double tab of online scrolling, but dialogue is often stilted and overly formal. You might notice a lack of contractions and very rigid rules they made for consistency that actually have a lot more flexibility than they think. They tend to have a fantastic grasp of sentence flow, though.

And other people formally learned how to write. This could be anywhere from taking school classes seriously because they enjoyed writing stories as a kid to literal certifications and jobs in the field. Grammer is flawless. Punctuation is triple checked. Foreign words are in italics. Characters have distinct voices. But their self indulgence is tempered by perfectionism. They know precisely what they want from a fic. Authors notes often feature mutterings about their happiness with the chapter. Kaomojis often appear! They seek a style to their writing, and it makes for some wonderfully clever plots! These are the ones most likely to get fun with formatting!

And some people.... Some people examined it all. They dissect dialogue, people watch, cross reference behaviours and compare characters to people irl. You can tell almost immediately who had formative experiences with Terry pratchett and/or ghibli, because it's these people. While others see writing as fun, expression, craft, they see it as art. Plain and simple. Sure, the grammar is occasionally sacrificed on the altar of creative freedom, and the occasional sentence might miss a full stop, but these people seem to self reflect on themselves as part of the art making process. On occasion, these people have the most masterful grasp of dialogue and invocation and hand sewn characterisations. Formatting is pretty standard because all the focus is on the actual words. These fics can be edited to the moon and back!

All of these can vary wildly in forethought and quality, and betas can often catch individual problems before they hit post, but just. Isn't it so cool? What's that one Oscar Wilde quote about every mask just being another fragment of yourself?

Did you recognise yourself?

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fucking. what?

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Wait that’s fucking weird lol

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beautiful gale with homophobia in his eyes

woke up in a cold sweat

I haven’t even gone to bed I have five minutes to explain this shit I got work in the morning 

AUGH. Cinderella fangstitch au @svwhssftr

Gale. Pathetic little orphan boy taken in by Noeul who is this upper class lord. Servants to Crow and Marie. Secretly sews at night all that Cinderella shit. 

Mako. The prince. Everyone thinks he’s fine shyt. Kai’s the king it’s kind of an ocean kingdom type thing. kind of. little mermaid aesthetic Cinderella plot going on here. They host a ball bc Mako needs a wife it’s tradition!! But Mako’s like “dad noooo I don’t want a wife” and Kai’s like “well womp womp just find one you can stand” 

And word gets out and Crow and Marie laugh abt it bc mako’s the land’s biggest faggot and Gale’s like “wait… bats eyelashes… the prince is looking for someone?” and Marie’s like “bitch you do not stand a chance”

AND ITS THE PLOT OF FUCKING CINDERELLA WE UNDERSTAND IT EVIL STEPFATHER/HEAD OF THE HOUSE SAYS NO BITCH YOUR POOR ASS CANT GO 

but Gale has a plan. he’ll disguise himself as a woman. he sews himself a very pretty ruffly dress. he has a PLAN to get into this ball. but oh no!! crow and marie find it and burn it bc they’re mean and bitchy 

but we have self-aware fairy godmother adam. he’s like “hey bitch. i’m your billy porter fairy godmother. we’re going to queen you out okay diva go get your man” and he fixes Gale’s dress and hair and does some sparkly makeup and he’s fierce. he’s ready to go. 

and the BALL! it’s. it’s Cinderella. they dance and mako’s like “wait… who are you. you’re so beautiful when can I see you again” but it strikes midnight the shoe is lost all that. 

but because the whole shoe being a perfect fit thing is kinda dumb. he doesn’t actually wear glass! bc that’s dumb too i get it’s fantasy but Gale porter is practical. he actually embroiders his initials onto the inner heel of his shoe so mako sweeps the kingdom looking for the fairest maiden whose initials are “GP”

and he makes it back to Noeul like “do you recognize this shoe” and crow’s like “wait that’s. that’s Gale’s” and mako’s like “let me meet her I want her to be my wife” and Marie’s like “her???” and Gale walks in like “ohhh my god why is the prince here” and MAKO RECOGNIZES HIM and is like “wait. you’re not a woman?”

and Gale’s like “no. no I’m so sorry your majesty I was just trying to let myself have fun for once I’m so sorry I lied to you”

but mako’s like “SHIIIT EVEN BETTER!! IM GAY AS HELL”

and Gale’s like “yeah I am too. in case you couldn’t somehow tell”

and mako’s like “fuck this shit actually. I’m going against my family’s wishes and marrying you because you’re the most beautiful person in the kingdom. I mean look at those eyes. this beautiful guy has homophobia in his eyes”

and Gale escapes the sangs and their mistreatment of him and marries him aww how cute it’s just. it’s Cinderella. but just some cutesy food for thought. yayyy we needed some wholesome fangstitch after uh. whatever. whatever was going on with them in sham.

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How am I only just learning this!?

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Favorite adderall review

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i typed this out in october and finished it today

if you like blind box figures. get ready. for upwards of thousands of dollars but you know exactly what you’re getting and it’s insanely detailed figures!! @svwhssftr (but it’s for charity so it’s ok)

just thinking. lowkey tired of writing recently but more into the promotion side of things. which. there’s nothing to promote if there is nothing written but shhh

I love unique convention-exclusive merch that a lot of franchises do. Like exclusive pins and figures and stuff. If given the opportunity I would absolutely love to do this. 

Biannually a doll set would be released. Like a LUXURY doll set. Posable. All joints movable. Detailed resin stands. High quality and detailed clothes (AND HAIR. The hair textures are very important to get correct, especially for all of the Blackbirds). Each character has a unique body type and skin tone. The eyes are glass and their faces are hand-painted. They’re kind of in-between those crazy detailed anime figures and a higher-end fashion doll. Each box is signed. They’re going to be expensive to produce, but they’re also made to be a luxury item so it is what it is. I’d hire an actual craftsman to make them. Maybe commission a different person every time? It’s going to be a TALL order so ofc the artist would have to agree to it but dw they would get compensated 

There would be five dolls of each character, meaning only 45 dolls at maximum for each wave. Some waves, like the original Council induction ceremony, might only have five unique dolls. Idk how else to explain this without a specific example. Like the Council induction line would have Sonnet, Adam, Gale, Sara, and Noeul. But there would be five of the Sonnet doll. The dolls in the wave will be the same but there will be five of them for each character. 

The dolls, even in separates waves, keep the same body type (with Sonnet and Charlie being the only exceptions bc they’ll have both a pre-Blackbirds mold and post-Heartstrings mold) but have differently painted faces and outfits. Each doll is unique, even if you switch their outfits. It would be impossible to resell one as another. 

The dolls would be auctioned in-person at a convention or similar event. Unfortunate if people can’t make it but scalpers die by my blade. The auctions start at the base price of the doll’s production. Some dolls might automatically start at a higher point, like Adam and Sara because their hair is so intricate. I’d love to have some variations with Crow, so he might start much higher if his doll includes his wheelchair. Because it would absolutely be functional. Everything has a purpose. 

The profit goes to a charity that is already set before the event. A canon design wave might benefit GLAAD, and an ostentatious Council wave might benefit Appalachian areas in poverty. Just stuff like that. A Halloween wave might benefit muscular dystrophy research. A pinup wave could benefit reproductive education. Random issues I happen to care a lot about and fit within the themes of the work n all that. 

Also. Kinda torn on this. But there’s a doll line out right now that has entirely realistic bodies. Like nips and dicks and all. Idk what it is. Tried to look it up but I cannot seem to find the one I’m looking for.  And I think that would be really cool especially for the dd characters.. It’s good to de-stigmatize bodies bc they’re not inherently sexual. But some people are horny fucks and I would not trust them around anatomically correct Noeul and Sonnet dolls. It would also be cool to have them be entirely accurate. Would it be weird to have a doll of a woman with a torn vagina? Maybe. Would it be sick as fuck to have the scars around the snake tattoo on her thigh? Absolutely. Noeul’s dick piercing? Would sell within seconds. Nobody wants to see gale porter’s dih though 💔 maybe the people will find his whimsy and fashion sense charming regardless. I think Gale’s a pretty cool character (despite being a d1 snitch)  w a cool design. Personally. Heterochromic glass eyes will cancel out his minuscule dick hopefully 

And nsfw anime figures are a huge thing I don’t see there being an issue with this. If people want to be freaks let them. The only thing I feel kind like… brother eugh… about would be doing this w Crow and Marie. Bc they are both 15 canonically. Maybe we could just do a simple bra and underwear for Marie and the same for Crow but w a binder. Bc there are tons of doll lines that are supposed to be teenagers out there who do that. If people are going to be weird then whatever. Not my problem. 

oh. and once I’m for sure famous and rich and madly successful YES there will be bonus non canon content YES the Shiroganes will be involved I don’t fucking care if everyone hates multiverse stories now. BECAUSE I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THEM. if they don’t want it don’t fucking read it ho.

but yeah I think an anatomically accurate Strike Eagle doll might be dangerous (to me) so that’s a maybe not. her hip tattoos bro. it would take a fucking forklift to pull me out of her WHO SAID THAT (not the doll. the doll is clay plastic glass whatever. just strike in general) 

but a little aldi set. a little midnight gentlemen’s club set would be so cool guys. guys. to be launched alongside a sonnet and noeul wedding set (which. I have no design ideas for that. Costco way overshadows that wedding in my mind even though it never happened). guys. i just want adam’s bodysuit and boots on a doll let’s be real I just want the pretty stripper. but also kai with his top surgery tattoos and mesh top. also a necessary piece of the puzzle here. 

and a sham set would go crazy. i love their sham designs so much. even though I’ve only drawn strike i just don’t draw at all anymore. but i have lots of fire ideas. 

That’s all 👍. Please fund me people I promise I have cool ideas 🙏🙏 

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shambling

hi it’s your resident irl Mako Shirogane and i’m here to talk a little more abt sham. bc what else is a girl graduating in two months going to do? on her birthday? talk to her friends? please…

(update it’s been like two days since i wrote this I just haven’t posted it bc I’ve been busy so tag anyway @svwhssftr)

I say I hate sham’s plot but I don’t. I hate it in the format of prose. It’s too loose for that. The Dalseum Duet works as prose because it has more moving parts that fit together clearly. Sham is a spectacle. It’s not about the story. It’s about the vibes. It’s for entertainment. There’s not much to dissect outside of like… symbolism. And it’s all internal. It’s not making a statement about anything. It’s neutral on its own existence. There’s no clear-cut hero or villain. You’re really not supposed to root for anyone, but it’s enjoyable watching the shit show unfold nonetheless. 

This doesn’t convert right to prose. But my first thought was “oh this would fucking hit as a comic book” because it has heavy roots in that scene. Gerard Way is a renowned comic artist. A lot of its atmosphere is inspired by Scott Pilgrim. And Strike and Crow are prime trashy comic book protagonists. Hot crazy bitch who flaunts her tits and a little emo guy with funky ass hair and recognizable silhouette? What else could one need?

And the drastic cuts between scenes also makes more sense as a comic book. You can get away with a lot more there. Bc it’s not linear, and you’re usually more focused on the dialogue and art to care about tiny plot discrepancies you would normally catch in a novel. 

But I feel like the fangstitch plot wouldn’t hit right in comic format. They are much more intimate than Trader Joe’s emotionally. I don’t know actually. If trashy BL webtoons can figure it out, then we could figure out how to make them work in the Scott Pilgrim style. Because I can’t picture it as like… a manhwa or a manga. Killing Stalking has a very similar plot and makes it work very well. But I fear the crunchy 2000s atmosphere of sham is so much different than that iconic 2000s manga style. So I only see a Scott Pilgrim style working for it. Simple, but with options for funky accessories and dynamic poses. I need to read Scott Pilgrim so bad if someone wants to spend upwards of 200 dollars on a box set in full color for me please 🙏

So. That’s one option. Because this is very important knowledge because I definitely will be making this a reality obviously 

And AT FIRST I was like “this shit would not work as a stage production” but then I thought

wait… no… it WOULDbecause when I think of my personal theatre favs I’m much more leaning on cabaret, hadestown, hair, all of these shows that are so serious. But no. Funny musicals are fucking GREAT. And sham has SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be HILARIOUS as a stage production. It was never meant to be taken seriously anyway. 

Look Heathers is a great musical. But it is SO very 80s. It’s too tongue-in-cheek for sham and takes itself too seriously. It cannot be like heathers. I’m going to use a bit of an unorthodox approach here. 

I see the Evil Dead musical setup working here. It’s a comedy but it is BLOODY. There’s a literal splash zone in the audience. Need to see this show so bad. I would love a splash zone for sham personally. Even though only three people die. But that’s a majority of the main cast so idk

note from me in the future: I had to cut myself off here bc I got a little TOO autistic about musicals so I’m just going to talk abt the part I think you would find actually interesting. abt like casting types and shit

This show. Could be so fucking funny. I love the Shirogane kids and the Sang kids DEARLY they are SO MUCH FUNNIER than the main cast of the Dalseum duet. And when they’re all put together it just. Agh it’s good it’s good

Bc we know Crow is funny. He’s clever. He’s witty. He’s an awkward poor little meow meow but also nonchalant enough to be funny about it. I picture the scene where Kai comes home vividly 

kai, slowly opening their door: are you guys—

strike: GETTHEFUCKOUT

(he immediately slams the door and turns away. complete silence. give the audience a minute to laugh. he just casually checks his watch or something and clasps his hands or something stupid like that while waiting outside the door. dad ass behavior)

crow, very casually: we’re busy.

(audience laughs again hahaha how humorous they’re engaging in intercourse)

kai: yeah, uh, um. I could. uh. see that 

(very audible squelch) 

kai just kinda hits that “oh!”  that you have to hit in this situation. 

(strike and crow open their door very evidently wearing each other’s clothes)

strike: the hell do you want? 

kai: I just wanted to ask about—no I cannot take this seriously anymore. Go fucking change and come back. Wash your fucking hands. That sounded like it hurt. 

crow: no don’t worry I naturally have an excess of discharge

(dead fucking silence)

crow: it didn’t hurt that ba—

kai: go. go change. 

(hey it’s me from like twelve hours in the future this. This isn’t as funny as anticipated it’s all about the timing and tone tbh. A lot of my favorite comedic things hinge on delivery and shit. It’s hard to get that down. But just trust here IT COULD BE FUNNY WITH THE RIGHT TIMING) 

He also works well for physical comedy bits with his cane and he’s expressive enough to where he would still carry that stage presence when he uses his wheelchair. AND FUCK YOU WE NEED MORE ACTUAL DISABLED REP IN THEATRE. WDYM ONLY ONE DISABLED WOMAN HAS PLAYED NESSAROSE IN BROADWAY HISTORY GTFO

And mako is just PRIME mid 2010s musical protagonist. He’s lanky. He is also awkward but not in the deadpan autistic Crow way just in the nerdy teenage boy way. And he’s definitely a tenor. Because the current theatre scene needs another conventionally attractive awkward tenor lead. They’re so rare. That was sarcasm in case you couldn’t tell

And I love a good musical crash-out. They always hit. A michael in the bathroom type song with him would go so fucking hard. Like just losing his shit about his (thirty five year old…) boyfriend breaking up with him and his best friend fucking his clinically insane sister out of nowhere. 

And the fangstitch subplot works so much better on a stage bc we get to physically see them interact. We get the tension between them that’s hard to capture in images and words. I think the scene where Marie catches them in the car would be prime comedy idk abt y’all though. Many physical comedy opportunities here with them like trying to position themselves in the back of a fuckin volkswagen. I think giving them a dead girl walking esque song could work pretty well too. WAIT. WAIT. WITH A REPRISE FOR STRIKE AND CROW? WAIT. THE FANGSTITCH ONE COULD BE LIKE. MORE WISTFUL. AND WE PUT IT IN A MINOR KEY WITH SOME MORE EMO INFLUENCES guys… guys that would be funny and also a banger. Half of sham is Crow making fun of Mako might as well embrace it.

AND STRIIIIIKE. STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE EAGLE AS A CHARACTER ON STAGE SO HELP ME GOD

We do not have characters like Strike. Ever. I cannot name one. Maybe persephone in hadestown comes close but she STILL has to be feminine and submit to Hades. There is a severe lack of unhinged girls in theatre who have NOTHING holding them back. Strike’s fuckin dangerous and people know that. She has no restraint. And strike is fucking FUNNY. I picture her visibly pissed off the entire time. Borderline throwing a tantrum on stage everytime something doesn’t go according to her plan. Very estella hellpark core tbh. She occasionally screams and groans at random and is very played up. Ik throwing a knife at Mako is not supposed to be funny but we could make it very funny with her inflections and facial expressions. She is not meant to be pretty and ladylike. Which is so rare in theatre productions. She is not the male fantasy or the female fantasy she’s just fuckin. Strike Eagle. She lets herself be gross and ugly and kickass. 10/10 character. LET WOMEN BE FUNNY. 

And don’t worry. We could make kohls interesting. I’m TIRED of all the boring dad songs in musicals LET THE OLD MEN HAVE FUN. kai was a fag in the 80s and noeul’s a grunge enthusiast we could let them be characters outside of just. Old man. Gay or european but it’s mako and marie figuring out what the hell is happening between them. Trader joes can’t be incest if they’re both dead so. Choosing not to worry about the implications there. 

(twelve hour future satis again. Here is where i just lose all my sense and start yapping feel free to just ignore all this bc i gave up on it)

And now hear me out on this one. Moulin Rouge. A show that takes itself a bit too seriously. But I like the musical approach here. I HATE jukebox musicals I cannot stand them 99% of the time. I do not like the music in Moulin Rouge except for El Tango de Roxanne. But I mean if you give Aaron Tviet a ballad he’s going to cook no matter what. 

But what I like about Moulin Rouge is the few songs that are combinations. Do the songs suck? Yeah. But the concept is great. They just picked terrible songs to combine. 

But it’s so smart. Why don’t more shows do this? Sham already has a fire playlist we could cook with this concept. So allow me to yap abt this for a moment. I picked the songs on purpose. Let me be autistic 

I think opening on Welcome to the Black Parade would be funny as fuck first of all. Emo sleeper agent code. And we need to get some time to build up that energy. Let Crow cook here. You know I love a good fourth wall break. We could have just him center stage during the first part as the crew builds the set around him and once the guitar part kicks in we’re officially In The Show. Like we can get Crow fumbling around in his locker and him doing his makeup and adjusting his gloves and shit just… emo ass bitch. And we can meet Mako here! Black Parade has strong duet potential. We could definitely cut the song down though it’s really long. It’s great. But it’s LONG. And like once the song ends Crow like slams his locker shut and that signals to the  audience that the show is ready to kick off. We get the first scene where Mako and Crow have some banter and then the bell rings and shit and the lights lower first scene over

And strike. god I love her. as a character she is so unique. I cannot name another female character who packs a punch as strong as she does. Maybe Jinx from Arcane. But unhinged sleazy girls just here for a party are so rare to come across, ESPECIALLY in theatre. There are NO roles like strike. And she’s like precisely my casting type I would absolutely die to play her 🤞 (guys trust I’m Asian and also Russian guys trust me)

But here’s where we get a little silly by combining Maneater with Our Lady of Sorrows. 

INSANE combo. INSANE. but I feel like it could work. like do the iconic maneater riffs on an electric guitar instead of vocals? and have crow with the first verse. cut the stand up fucking tall part for him to be like “oh but she’s a maneater whatever the fuck the lyrics are” I think it’s so stupid that it could work

actually I need to go to bed uh. I can yap later abt this. but rn I do not have the mental capacity to score a fucking musical 

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shivah and murdah not-fic pt 1 baby

guess who won’t be finishing sham. it’s me. because I’m turning an ADULT in like less than 24 hours!! and I don’t want the Gale Porter allegations. Ik it’s like. It’s fine. You’re much more of a freak than I am. And like… none of what I write really does anything to me sexually. I am not writing this to make you interested sexually in anything. That’s not the intention in the slightest. It just interests me how the characters interact with each other under high-pressure situations. So ik there’s hypothetically nothing wrong with anything that would be in sham but. but something abt the (somewhat romanticized) fangstitch plot with you being two years younger than me. hooo… not a fan of that. 

And it’s romanticized because this is very much a retro dark comedy… not quite parody? A pastiche perhaps. I do not condone most of the shit that happens. It’s just kind of a love letter to that late 2000s campy emo era of corny bloody movies and plots with no regard for morality. But you don’t want to hear me talk abt that WE’RE HERE FOR THE PLOT!!! WE HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE GOOD SHIT YET BUT WE GET THE JIST OF IT TONIGHT @svwhssftr

So we left off at Crow and Strike texting abt how they’re going to meet up at the Shiroganes’ house to get freaky. Strike mentions that both her dad and Mako are gone. Crow has five missed calls from Mako but chooses to ignore them after the argument they had the night before. Strike mentions wanting to see Jennifer’s Body, and Crow says he’ll be down to go see it.

If you know anything about the plot of Jennifer’s Body… that fore is covered in shadows rn. 

But minutes before this, Strike got into it with Mako over Mako telling his dad that she and Crow have been fucking. Which is untrue. Strike’s obsession with this little bird boy is overtaking her, but she can’t afford to give into it yet. Until Mako uses their relationship against them to try to get out of trouble. Strike tweaks out on him about this and ends up throwing a knife at Mako’s head, aiming for his eye. She misses and slices open his ear. Mako, who hates blood, dips and freaks out. He locks himself in the bathroom and tries to take care of his injury, but Strike is actively pounding on the door screaming at him. 

She’s not normal. Crow just has not seen this side of her yet. Mako, though. Mako knows it well. 

After applying some peroxide and a towel and all that, Mako knows his only safe bet is to escape out the window into the pouring rain. Except his keys have been confiscated, so he can’t leave. He doesn’t even know where he would go. Crow is pissed at him, which isn’t a big deal, but it is to the fearful teenage brain. So he makes a much worse decision. 

He runs to the nearest subway station and goes to the center of the Cocktail quarters to Gale’s apartment. Mako lives maybe twenty minutes out from the city.

Keep this distance in mind. No reason.

The lights are all off, so he breaks in under the impression Gale isn’t there. But Gale is, indeed. He’s sad and pathetic and daydrinking and reading some old poetry book. Mako is just in survival mode and goes “hey dude i’m using ur shower. don’t worry about it” and Gale ofc freaks out like “GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT?? THE FUCK” but mako is like “i had no where else to go man. I needed to talk to you anyway” and closes the door and takes himself a nice warm shower. Internal monologue about how he knows he is attractive. Bc Mako lowkey is fine shit. Tall. Lean. Clear skin. He’s who I aspire to be. And he shows a bit of his teenage bitchiness here with “Crow could never understand this. he can afford the emo punk rock lifestyle bc he has nothing going for him. I’m throwing my entire life away for this guy. I have so much potential and Crow’s nothing compared to me. But damn it. I want to throw my entire life away for this old ass man. But I can’t jerk off in his shower. That’s rude. Even though the thought of me smelling like him is really fucking hot. His soap smells really good. Shit.” 

And after his very deep introspective session he’s like “fuck. I have no clean clothes” and has to yell at Gale to get him some. and. this is where everything is over before it even starts. 

Mako stumbles out all pathetic in Gale’s oversized Cambridge shirt yapping about “after all this shit, I don’t even know what I want anymore. I thought I wanted ucla but is this really what I want? do I want this lifestyle? what if I’m wasting my time? what if I’m not good enough once I get there? I’m fucking cooked”

and Gale, half-sober, is like “look mako you’re going to be safe. you’re not going to be like me. you’re going to get a good job because you’re a smart kid. you’re not going to get fired because you had an inappropriate relationship with a student”

and mako’s like “wait you actually got fired? omfg I’m going to kill my dad you don’t deserve that.”

Gale’s like “yeah he and Noeul threatened to take me to court if I didn’t resign lol”

but mako’s dumbass. god bless him and his fuckass thought process. “but no this is good! this wasn’t what we were meant to do!! we can go out to the British countryside and leave all the naysayers behind. they don’t understand us. we were meant for each other obviously.”

and Gale’s like “bitch what we broke up. I broke up with you for a reason”

and mako is not innocent here either. I am not victim blaming. I’m just saying he REALLY FUCKING WANTED to be the victim. if I were Gale Porter I too would have folded if a tall, pretty boy was kneeling by my bedside smelling like my own favorite body wash and his slutty little shoulder was peeking from my t shirt. mako BEGS him to take him back. he goes on this tirade about how UCLA and his future means nothing if he can’t have Gale which is. not true. but sheltered gay teenager in 2009 behavior you know. 

and Gale finally gives in and says he loves him (big deal bc he refused to throughout any of the excerpts when they were actively together) and they make out by candlelight and plan to ditch Dalseum and go to Britain together. nightmare situation I’m shuddering. 

back at the shirogane house, Kai returns from his minor errand of like. girl who fucking knows. the post office or some shit. had to get stamps? may or may not burst in on Strike fisting Crow because he was fucking screaming so loud that they didn’t hear him walk back into the house. fisting hurts it’s ok crow. he’s a fuckin virgin and strike’s over here trying to rip him apart. 

and Kai’s just like “whatever. I don’t care anymore. as long as neither of you are getting pregnant it’s fine.” bro has been worn down by his dumbass kids “where is mako”

strike says “idk. he just left” GIRL YOU TRIED TO ASSAULT HIM

Kai’s like “okay… if he’s not at your house Crow… and he’s not here… where the hell is he??” 

Strike notices he left his phone behind. Kai’s like “there’s only one explanation for this. and it means I’m pressing fucking charges. we ride at dawn I want Porter’s head on a spike”

but there’s really no way of telling where he is. they just wait for mako to get back home. 

but mako never goes back home. he just stays with Gale, who plans to go back to cocktail to get his stuff from his classroom. and then they dip. 

and then.

the day of reckoning.

the next Friday. 

strike and crow go on their little date. they watch the movie they have a good time whatever. crow gushes about the panic! song. fuckin autistic loser. me too crow

but afterwards strike is like “hey I have a surprise for you :)” and drives out to the school? for some reason? 

crow’s like “tf are we doing here lol” and strike leans down beneath her seat to grab something. crow’s like “oh it’s a new vibrator or something”

no crow it’s actually a gun

and he’s like “heyyy strike um. what’s. what’s this” and she says “I mayyy or may not have forged a memo from your dad to Gale that they needed to have a meeting to finalize the details of his resigning. he should be here soon.”

crow’s like “oh ok understandable”

and she waxes poetic about how she’s a carnal creature. she likes to fuck. she likes the thrill of the kill. until she met crow, she just masturbated and fantasized. during training, she just killed animals. squirrels. birds. dogs, even. but now that she’s fucked for real, she wants to see some real blood.

and crow’s just like. “that’s a little odd but like… if you’re gonna kill someone kill this bitch. fuck him for ruining mako” 

but strike yanks a knife from her pocket and pins Crow down in the backseat and says “the line between love and hatred is real thin, crow. and I love you so much. if it turns into hatred, it’ll be catostrophic. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t tell a single soul”

and crow agrees bc he gets behind her message. she puts her blade back up. 

Gale finally shows up. She shoots him point blank right there in the parking lot for everyone to see once school is back the next week. Gale fucking dies. They dip back out to their respective houses with each other’s date as an alibi. 

oooh I’m going to bed now but what will happen next?? truly suspenseful truly suspenseful. spoiler crow and strike fuck. a lot more. guys calm down. please. time and place. right after a murder is not the time nor place.