swagforbirds

[swagforbirds]

guy with really big long balls that are so long and hanging he constantly trips on them and also he just smoked like 17 blunts: Dude im tripping balls

[swagforbirds]

ur cishet irl friends LOVE ITTTT when u call them girl. use gay terms with ur cishet irl friends its so fun

[swagforbirds]

the other day I saw a chimpanzee on the street and it started running at me to rip my face off but it happened to evolve into a best buy employee right before it got to me and it just kinda walked off for its shift at best buy as if it never saw me

[swagforbirds]

[swagforbirds]

(on the phone in the subway) no. pawjob. yes the hands are also paws. no. its called pawing off. yeah. yeah. well we call it horsepower even if there aint any equines in the fuckin engine dont we. no its not a mawjob. yeah. just a blowjob. like normal.

[swagforbirds]

its really really clear in my mind. that this is true

[swagforbirds]

Porn artist, fed up with spending his entire life drawing meaningless and soulless "art" for people to jerk off to, goes on a quest to find himself, to find meaning - he climbs a mountain, seeking the monastery at its precipice, hoping the monks could give him an answer to a question he doesnt know how to ask. Upon reaching he sees, plastered on almost every wall, printouts of his pornography

[swagforbirds]

DELTARUNE 2

SECRET WEAD

weed ENDING

[swagforbirds]

being a dinosaur must have been so nice until it wasnt. like... ahh. i am a beautiful beast lounging around cold blooded and maybe i am feathered. it doesnt matter. i am enjoying eating ancient flora and protograss and - why is the sun so bright and getting bigger

[swagforbirds]

one of americas biggest draws- and i will give them credit for that here- is that when youre in the most degenerate gambling city on that half of the globe, youre also about 3 hours from some of the most beautiful desert that still exists

[swagforbirds]

(inside the factory that produces new indie rappers) wheres greta thunberg in tthis bitch

[swagforbirds]

"none of these words are in the bible" of course they arent dip shit the bible was written in like ancient egyptian or something DUHH

(slaps your bald head)

(Huge newspaper mysteriously lands on my lap with the headline "SCIENTIISTS FIND EARLIEST BIBLE EVER WRITTEN AND ITS IN MODERN ENGLISH")

what thar

[swagforbirds]

everybody was normal fighting~ *non-racist riff*

[swagforbirds]

Aoww i missed

[swagforbirds]

brian eno’s open letter to Microsoft from his instagram earlier

[swagforbirds]

alright. people on bluesky are getting upset that ZUN apparently AI-generated a Background for the latest Touhou game. I'm officially on the "Oh my god who cares" side of the "AI" debate

[swagforbirds]

houseplant type friend