swan-lite
swan-lite
The Eff am I Doing?
29K posts
Call me Swan | Certified Scary Brown Person | 20something | They/She | Queerace/Enby | Personal space enthusiast
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swan-lite · 11 hours ago
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honestly fucking fascinating that people will pretty universally understand that thin people can be naturally predisposed to thinness regardless of what they eat or their activity level, but that so many of the same people cannot possibly fathom that fat people could have similar dispositions or that there could be any factors more complex than a "lack of self control."
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swan-lite · 11 hours ago
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you've all gotta stop acting like "overweight" is a gentle PC alternative for the word fat and not itself an assertion of the ontological wrongness of being large. Over What Weight Precisely
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swan-lite · 11 hours ago
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and what are we going to do when the HP series comes out and we start seeing a resurgence of the fandom here including gifsets and fics. like are u guys gonna bring up your neurodivergence and cry "can we separate the art from the artist!!!!! you dont need to pay to watch it!!!!!its my comfort show and I'm DEPRESSED and AUTISTIC"
what then
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swan-lite · 24 hours ago
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swan-lite · 24 hours ago
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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making heavy use of a technique i like to call "bothering my cat" which consists largely of bothering my cat
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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tumblr has been the most consistent thing in my life since i was like 14
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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i’m only on reddit for r/Kevin
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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remember how easy it used to be to just click the previous reblog and ssee it
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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Wait, you were actually born in the 1900's? Thats so cool
i am going to eat my own entire skin
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.
American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.
Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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I thought the point of voting people into office was so we didnt have to constantly call them and babysit them into doing something other than wearing a pink suit and sitting on their ass
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much
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swan-lite · 1 day ago
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Cats (2019) is worse than Doctor Who (2006) even though the show was made with the budget of a crisp packet
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