swathingpath707

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they should let you put footnotes on your blocklist so you remember what the final straw was

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Found this news article randomly and can i just say GIVE HER HER FUCKING MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW.

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Okay you guys.

IF YOU PRIMARILY DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH reply with what you mentally call it, if you have a nickname for it or something

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one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

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when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

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there are so many words to use in place of “penis” in regards to smut. there’s dick. or shaft. we got cock. member. organ. length. hell, even manhood! all are acceptable replacements.

but what do we have for the testicles? nuts? no thank you. ballsac or, lord forbid, just sac? i’d literally rather be tarred and feathered. using their government name and just calling them testicles? take me out back and gimme the ol’ yeller treatment.

how has the english language evolved so much yet we have no acceptable word for testicles in a sexy context? how can we claim we’ve advanced as a society when the best word for describing when two characters are fucking nasty and the noble and mighty testes are swaying about is balls?

BALLS

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Today I was trying to chat up this girl standing with her friend at a lesbian bar and said “oh are you two together?” meaning were you friends before being next to each other at this bar and one turns to the other and goes with all the venom of a black mamba snake “I don’t know Cara, are we?” and I was like you know what? not my table

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i am not a hoarder of books. i am a collector of lives, a keeper of words, a bringer to new worlds.

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“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

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Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta... I gotta get out of here.

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i'm not saying people shouldn't be reading more books, but i do think it's funny how many people thinking "reading comprehension" is just about how good you are at reading books and not like. criticial thinking skills.

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Reached out to a biologist to request some info about an extinct species of freshwater shrimp and the email she sent in response was not only lovely and helpful but also kind of poetry to me? People who study invertebrates are actually the most hopeful and compassionate scientists that we have.

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There's something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy's preferred solution to every problem. You'd say something to Dracula about "ah yes, werewolves, vampires' great eternal enemies," and he'd just be like "you mean my subcontractors?"

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being doomed by the narrative is cool and all but i like when a character is doomed just by being a fucking idiot. sorry that happened to you but it is entirely your own fault and you could have just chosen to not do all that

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i love watching TV shows that absolutely suck and being like "this would be so good if it was good"