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I need more ikea mafia！！！！

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Ooh Damn I don’t think I shared these with you..... these... yeah I can’t explain them my dudes.

You can see Oscar is top frog and top otter too, actually.

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NSFW Alphabet: Axel The Swede

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Axel is a very accommodating man by default. He takes care of you with no questions asked. He usually does so silently, already knowing what you need.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

He loves your face, more specifically your jaw line. Tracing his finger along it and ending at your chin to tilt your head up is how most things get started. He is a fan of his own ass. He knows you love it and will use it to his advantage.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He is pleasantly surprised when you cum unexpectedly. He hates when you warn him, relishing in the spontaneous feeling of you cuming on his hand most times.

D = Dirty secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

He first got turned on by you when you held a knife to his throat.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not much. He’s seen porn over and over enough, but you were his first.

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)

He loves it against a wall. He is the definition of a switch, so it doesn’t matter who’s pinning who.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He’s serious over anything else. He’s rarely ever anything but.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes care of himself. He didn’t before he met you, but now he has someone to perform for. The carpet does indeed match the drapes to a tee.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s more spontaneous than romantic. There will the the odd occasion where he’ll cook dinner and take things slow to last out the night, but it’s usually a sudden moment of passion.

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t often unless on missions. If he’s out in the field and something reminds him of you then he has to take the night to think of you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Choke him against the wall and pull his hair, or he’ll do it to you. He’s not picky.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He loves shower or sauna sex. It’s perfectly set up and he often showers with you anyway.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When he first gets home, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, the arousal of being an assassin is fresh in his mind and he needs to fuck right then and there.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would not be interested in bondage of any kind. He just has a bad feeling about it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He is very willing to give, but he loves to receive. Even if it’s an off day and you don’t do well, he loves if. He can pull at your hair and let out his frustration with it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough or slow and sensual? etc.)

He can take his time, but he prefers a faster pace.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He is very adamant about quickies. It’s his favorite way to do things.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He is not much of a risk taker. The biggest risk he’s taken is with locations.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He can go all night if you’re going slow, but at his usual pace he can only go a handful of rounds.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

He does not have toys, he wouldn’t even be able to tell what one was if you asked him.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He doesn’t tease. He wants you to cum as fast as you can.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is not a vocal man in everyday life, and that transfers to the bedroom. When he moans, it’s in your ear just for you to hear what you can do to him.

W = Wild card (A random headcanon for the character)

He likes watching porn with you and either getting each other off or masturbating to yourselves.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

A relatively average lad, a bit slender though.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

If you haven’t been around each other in a while, you’ll be like rabbits for the next few days. However, if he’s been home for awhile it doesn’t happen too often.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s trained to fall asleep quickly out of necessity, so he’s out right away. You’ll often drift off admiring his face and playing with his hair.

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despite my life being SHIT rn i love this little group :) ill only leave if you guys leave :)🤍✨🤍

Shoutout to all the ikea fam members still kicking around, I know we’re getting few and far between half a year into this completely headcanon based fandom, in all honesty even I’m getting stretched a little thin myself, but hey at least there’s still a few of us left..... I think 😅

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But that's mostly an illusion

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hey just a heads up im back and will be active on my other blog @acealtomare so if you want some original content for yours truly go check it out!

im not sure how active ill be over here as of now but perhaps one day :)

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hey yall

apologies for not being active like at all in forever.

my mental health is trash right now and ive fallen back into some really bad old habits that just havent been good.

im gonna be honest. lifes shit rn and theres not much i can do except act positive and happy which is just the biggest lie but what the hell.

im honestly not sure when ill be active again, but ill be checking in every once in a while to see all of the things you guys post and to stay updated on any IKEA FAMILY cards you guys wanted laminated and printed because thats all i really can do with a smile rn.

love you all <3

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PSA

I will gut punch anyone who goes out of their way to infringe Jason, Tom or Kris’s privacy. They are people with their own lives and they owe us as a fanbase nothing. Respect them and remember your place. Thank you :)

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The Swedes x shitpostgenerator

but it got a little depressing

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A sketch of Otto with his hair tied!

Ah shit he looks younger here but goddamn I really wanna draw Otto with his hair tied so 👉👈 —

I’m gonna be inactive this week cause of my preliminary exams. So this might be my last drawing post for this week. 

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axel-otl

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bby boi with a beard

Oscar may be baby boy or whatever but that beard shadow ain’t fooling me 😏😏 like okay sir I see you 👀

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fanart anyone?

@itsminorine?

Hey guys

Centaur swedes. That is all

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what is a hobby you would all like to start/take up? 🤗

I would love try and start writing my own poems, but never seem to get to it. :)

-Otto :)

I would be up to hiking at least every weekend but there's not enough time.

-A

Arson

-Oscar

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Uhhh hello I’m back

So I kinda got tired of 1. Not drawing and 2. Not capturing likeness sooooo.... I dug down within me and found my realism roots again and uhhh yea enjoy ❤️

Okay okay I’m really proud I still remember how to capture likeness 😌. I have been becoming increasingly frustrated at my inability to recreated faces in a way that pleases me, so I broke out the good ol’ ref image and went to work in a style like I had been doing earlier this year. Ik this isn’t funky and stylized but I’m happy with it so I hope you are too :))

(Click for better quality)

Please don’t repost thanks :)

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Oscar may be baby boy or whatever but that beard shadow ain’t fooling me 😏😏 like okay sir I see you 👀

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stab them

Me and @swedeypies trying not to blow a gasket at swede-simp haters