swirlsoffire

[swirlsoffire]

sometimes it feels like you’d hang the moon for me

sometimes I wonder if you wish me gone

I’m not easy to love

or easy to be around

but fuck if I don’t want it from you

[swirlsoffire]

I’m freer with my affections than many think I ought to be

but love- even platonic- is fuzzy round the edges

fuck, not even I know what I mean

Richard silken, guide my words

you’re a god, please hear my pleas

[swirlsoffire]

i will change my fundamental code if you will stick around.

[swirlsoffire]

I think I’d take a bullet for you but I’d also shoot one at you

[swirlsoffire]

i pick up his calls with a smile

and i feel like a real girl

but give it a few years

i'll be happier but he'll be gone

he says he's not going anywhere

and i almost believe it

i think he'll stick around even after

but his lust will fade and mine will not

and i'll have to call it all off

and a boy will cry at his grave

[swirlsoffire]

if you break a bone and it heals wrong, you'll have to re break it

so i fucking hope you heal right this time

or you're gonna break again

[swirlsoffire]

i'd let him run his thumbs over my scabs

meet the pity in his eyes and turn it over

i'd sop up the concern like a thick piece of bread

i'd let him feed the barren parts

i'd do it openly

i don't know if im a person to him

but honestly that might even help

might be why i'll let him love me without struggle

my soul can curl up safe with him because he'll never understand it

[swirlsoffire]

Oh fuck

I think I feel like a girl

Until I think about it and shudder in horror

Schrödingers girl

a woman til I look

[swirlsoffire]

With your hands on my waist could you feel my stomach flip?

with your hands on my hips could you feel my pulse race?

I’m a pool of unknown origin, wade in, take a sip

I’m a pool of unknown depth

please can you just FUCK ME

[swirlsoffire]

oh okay

yeah we crossed that fucking line

it’s wayyy too late, we’ve said too much

and I’ve lost you now

I’ll make you talk at some point, this only worked before

you’re killing my ex boyfriend

shame oozes from my every pore

I gotta back off I guess? it’s too late for this

finally at its end

because you’ve done this to them

so baby, how can I even trust you as a friend?

[swirlsoffire]

i poked myself with a knife tonight and i didn't even bleed

you were sitting right there

and you don't know what i need

could you please fuck me baby

unethical but true

not for spite. not for revenge

but just because its you?

[swirlsoffire]

hey there little minx

wanna show me how you think?

you're a pretty piece of ass

why dont' you show me what you're hiding under that sass

oh no don't crack open your thoughts

don't pretty your troubled head

i know i mentioned your mind

but now that i've gotten you into my bed…

don't trouble yourself with playing smart

how bout we move on to your heart

I was gonna ignore you but you’ve got too much gall

why don't you love me? you're a bitch who wont fall

fuck you slut, you’re ran through

you should feel lucky that i touched you at all

[swirlsoffire]

desperate, mentally sobbing, shuddering when our eyes meet

baby we brushed so close, I very nearly said please

imagine me begging, wanton and sweet

syrupy words meant to appease

slurring through my sentences like a bitch in heat

think about the whorish parts

think about my racing heart

oh and sugar, don’t forget

only good boys get treats

[swirlsoffire]

crude selflessness

you don't need to martyr yourself because you can"t predict whats going to happen

[swirlsoffire]

do you want it from me or do you want it from him

I will hurt you quicker

I won’t sugarcoat or grin

he will hurt you slower

he’ll demure, he’ll obscure

he’ll spin out all his tales

say I was acting on a whim

[swirlsoffire]

texts I won’t send… yet

Your boyfriend has made a grave mistake. He doesn't realize that if we reconnect my loyalty no longer lies solely with him. That motherfucker wants it all on his terms and he's not gonna get it

[swirlsoffire]

and just like that they're gone

and a month of hell is passed

and i can think about his arms curled around me as much as i like because it all happened too fast

i didn't absorb enough of it

and it will never be the same

that was my chance

my heart was bashed

and there's only myself to blame