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the Energy tm has left me. i just want to play chicory now and maybe learn to play yet another song from the jaskiercore playlist djnfnd

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I felt like drawing a couple making out so I did.... (this is actually part of a larger drawing, but I've been flagged for less so I'm hesitant to post the rest of it.)

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sweet trip makes the saddest music but its SO GOOD....

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My therapist is “concerned” about me moving across the county with my partner

We’d been thinking about moving for quite a while, and, yes, we’ve also been in a not great place. I, specifically, have been in a not great place. In April, we took a trip out west to visit some cities and see where we might like to move and also just look around. They really liked Seattle and we thinking more and more about moving there. Neither of us are particularly tied to our current location and have always wanted to move somewhere at sometime. They are looking to change jobs and change career fields, so now seemed like the perfect time. That is, practically. I told her about our plans once we were more finalized and she basically said it’s a bad idea… “I’m concerned.” Which basically translated to her telling me not to go. My partner is obviously pissed about that since he and we wanted to go and also therapists aren’t really supposed to tell you what to do, right? Her reasons are valid: I am struggling with self harm again, continued depression, increase in ED thoughts, and continued isolation and lack of emotional support. All that said, I do think we are making progress in couples’ therapy and there is movement there. I feel more able to reach out to my partner, even if there isn’t a whole lot of reaching back from them. I just need somewhere to vent about this whole situation and get it out there because it feels very hopeless and helpless and confusing.

When I talked to my therapist about this today, and my reaction to what she said, that to me, it felt like a parental “no, you can’t” or “it’s a bad idea” message. She held firm that she is not telling me what to do, but continues to express concerns (aka “It’s a bad idea”) and made comments that I am not stable (given the self harm) and that she may not be willing to see me virtually across states due to liability. We’ve already been virtual due to covid and it just doesn’t feel like enough to me. I shared this all with my partner and I came to the conclusion that, yeah, if I had to start all over and find a new therapist, at the moment, I wouldn’t feel super confident about that. I do not want to go for weeks or months while I try to find a new therapist who works for me. Finding one who is “good enough” is hard and then finding one who really fits is even harder. I ended up emailing her, basically telling her that and that our decision to go is kind of hinged on whether she would continue to see me as a client. I’d like to know sooner rather than later because that back and forth and all the unknowns is causing my partner a lot of stress and anxiety.

tl;dr my therapist expressed big concerns about me moving across the country away from her, my family, and the rest of my team. She basically said, she may not be willing to see me virtually if I move. I would only have my partner really for support, which is already shaky, plus recent increase in SH symptoms as well as general decrease in mood and increase in ED thoughts.

AHHHHHHH!!?!???!???????

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also omg okay so we went to a relative's wake the other day and somehow my family started talking about some people they know who recently commited su*c*de and i was just sitting there quietly trying to keep my entire shit together as usual lmao. my mother even gave me lowkey shady looks later and i just gave her a halfhearted shrug like "aye nice nice y'all know it babyie"

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But June likes some very specific stuff in the bedroom.

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Lovely Vietnamese actress Do Thi Hai Yen, in "The Quiet American."(2002).

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AHHHH The next ep has lots of Baby Gwendal<333

It’s also a huge retcon but that’s fine. If it leads to more Gwen content, I’m fine with that.

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*opens tumblr*

*scrolls past ten posts to make sure no shit went down*

*closes tumblr*

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But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)

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got a text from a number i dont have saved like “hey sonny its been a while how are you doing” and i could NOT figure out who tf its from (cuz im not gonna ASK) so sorry whoever texted me but we’re not reconnecting

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[#KNYOC] Fire and Water

Well, here is another couple of chibis, this time Giyū Tomioka, the Water Hashira from "Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayer" and one of my last OCs, Tsuyomi Himawari 🌻

For now I can't reveal much about her, except that she is a Demon Slayer who uses the Flower Breathing style, as well as that she will be Giyū Tomioka's new partner in my AU 💕

One of the reasons why I decided to change partners to Giyū is, in short, because the personality of my previous OC, Yuki Hashimoto, was very similar to his (so I didn't see much progress in their relationship), while Tsuyomi is more open, being able to relate to him more easily despite his reserved personality 🔥❤️🌊

Anyway, without more to say, I hope you like it!! 😊

I thank Canela2000, Konsuno and Isadamu for helping me to define the color palette of her haori 🧡

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Lovely Japanese-American actress Tamlyn Tomita, in "Come See the Paradise."(1990).

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Felt cute today. 🖤

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lockets