swizzletheories

[swizzletheories]

Bonus Theory: Swizzle 4 Prez

I was just trying to delete a virus off my mac computer (don’t ask it had something to do with princess and the pauper and that is all i will say) when I heard some shocking news. 

Kanye West is running for president.

Will I get into what I think about this? No. Actually, yes. I know it’s so bad that he’s running. But I’m also Canadian and I love drama (plz don’t hate me) so I am so excited right now. It is currently almost midnight and adrenaline is pumping through my veins.

Has anyone thought of the implications here? The drama that will ensue because of this? Specifically...

THE TAYLOR DRAMA???!!!!!

So rumour is Taylor is releasing a political EP soon because Taylor’s all politics now (and maybe a collab with Dixie Chicks which I stan). Taylor’s political journey has all been very sudden - maybe it was because Sc*** Bo******* stopped her from speaking out before.... 

... or maybe it was because Taylor had other plans. Namely, a campaign of her own.

We’ve heard Taylor absolutely demolish Marsha Blackburn.

That was some passionate stuff she gave us about Marsha. So passionate, I might say she’d really thrive in a political debate. And MAYBE Taylor thought so too. So she turned things up a notch. She released Miss Americana and became our political icon. Like we might as well just replace the American flag with Democratic Queen T Swizzle. 

Anyway so what I’m saying is I think Taylor realized her Miss Americana power during this political awakening and started planning her campaign. And while we know Taylor and Karlie are no longer friends I have to assume based off Taylor’s personality she might’ve sorta kept in contact with her. BUT we also know that Karlie leaked info about Taylor to Scooter (bless the god of trash perez hilton) so MAYBE karlie leaked to scooter that taylor was planning to run for president and then SCOOTER went to KANYE and was like “dude we can’t have her as president she’ll cancel me completely” and kanye’s like “i got u” and THEN.

KANYE STEPS IN TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT INSTEAD. TO BEAT TAYLOR FOR THE SPOT.

I know I’ve just blown your minds. But we can’t dwell on this. We need to take action NOW. 

And I say this now. @Taylor i hope ur reading.

TAYLOR NEEDS TO CONTINUE HER CAMPAIGN AND RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

It’s going to be hard. Demi Lovato’s prob gonna talk some trash. C****n H****s will prob tweet something out.

But we must prevail. We need to support Taylor in her quest to run the world. We need Taylor and Kanye to go head-to-head. In order to do my part, I intend to leave Canada behind and live in the US just to vote for Taylor. Also their 4th of july parties are way cooler than our canada day parties and thats a fact and ive always been jealous of it. So there you go another plus for me. Thanks Taylor.

As a new member of the United States, what do I hope will be Taylor’s first acts of business as the president? Here is a list:

1) get the scarf back from Jake

2) throw C****n H****s in jail

3) make The Man our national anthem

4) make Selena Gomez vice president

5) ban scooters 

and the list will go on, tbh I havent thought this through too much but i will. Hmu if you have any other ideas I’m totally open. 

In conclusion, @taylor i hope you will see this and understand that we support your vision and passion. We want YOU as OUR PRESIDENT.

@donaldtrump pls dont sue me im just a canadian that loves drama

[swizzletheories]

Theory #1: Taylor’s Purses Are Empty

So we’ve all seen Taylor wear her famous mini purses.

But here’s the thing. Look at how she holds them.

It’s kinda weird.

Not a lot of people wear their purses like that around the wrist/forearm. I don’t, my mom doesn’t, my grandma doesn’t, and my friends don’t. (Actually that’s a lie, I know one person that used to but that’s bc she was a swiftie and purposely did it bc of Taylor). 

Anyway here’s my point. People don’t wear them like that because purses are usually HEAVY. You can’t carry those bad boys around your WRIST. That thing will SNAP. They usually hold wallets (and taylor has money so thats one heavy wallet), makeup ie. lipstick, powder, foundation, lip gloss, also I carry nail polish (idk if thats just a me thing and if thats weird that i carry nail polish everywhere, but i imagine taylor also does it so im including it) also ive always thought taylor fake tanned so maybe she’s carrying some spray tan, idk man. Not to mention phone, headphones, charger, etc. 

AND she carries birthday cards in case she runs into friends whose birthdays just happen to be that day (@Taylor that’s weird but also I love it).

SO WHAT DO I THINK?

Here’s what I think. Buckle in everyone.

I think Taylor wore empty purses.

I know this is a shock. But please hear me out.

I’ve literally tried this myself. I threw all of my belongings in my tiny purse and tossed that thing around my wrist and you know what happened??? I ALMOST BROKE MY WRIST. @Taylor thanks a lot you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.

You might be wondering, why would Taylor carry around an empty purse? Isn’t that weird???

YEAH TAYLOR, IT IS WEIRD. AND I DON’T HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ONE.

But I do have thoughts. 

And my thoughts are that, hey, Taylor has like what 5 people following her at all times??? Like her bodyguards? Tree? Usually Mama Swift? Some papz? Now three cats? Joe? Why would she need a PURSE when she can get one of these ppl to carry stuff for her??????

Like look at this. A picture of Taylor and Joe leaving a pub (I think it was a pub, this was a while ago and I’m questioning my memory but im also too lazy to go searching to see if it was a pub. plz dont come for me). 

LOOK HOW BIG HIS COAT IS.

Is that not a little SUSPICIOUS?????? LIKE IT COULD BE HOLDING, OH I DONT KNOW, ALL OF TAYLOR’S BELONGINGS?!!!!!!!

Ok look. I know this is crazy. I know you probs dont believe me. But the important thing is, I believe myself. 

And since I posted some pretty hardcore evidence here, I hope you will believe me too. Thank you everyone