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Fue un viernes y un sábado muy extraño.

Me enteré que él estaba en la ciudad, vi unas story de instagram de su primo (a quien aún sigo).

Se lo veía feliz, riendo, bailando con otra gente, con otras chicas. Fue el viernes por la noche.

El sábado nuevamente vi una story de fiesta y recordé las veces que le pedí salir de fiesta conmigo y como me decía "A mí no me gusta eso, yo no soy así". Él era un chico tranquilo, o eso pensaba yo.

Sin embargo, no puedo negar que por momentos me ilusioné, pensé (o deseé) que me escribiera, que me llamara estando ebrio, que quizás estando a la vuelta de casa, se llegaría a tocar mi timbre. ¡Qué ilusa, melancólica y romántica soy! Incluso llegué a dejar mi celular en sonido en la madrugada por si su llamado llegaba.

Adivinen qué... nunca llegó.

El sol del domingo por la mañana me encontró llorando una vez más, con mi gato acurrucado a mi lado, en un colchón hundido del lado izquiero por el peso de él y de su ausencia.

Son tantas las veces que pensé y lloré por esto, que un poco me harta y un poco me gusta. Como resultado de ello, termino asustada, porque no quiero melancolizarme, aunque empiezo a pensar que quizás elijo sufrir porque es la única forma que encuentro de que él siga conmigo.

Al mismo tiempo y con la misma complejidad, ya no quiero esto. Lo amo, lo he amado, con toda la fuerza de mi corazón; pero ya no quiero amarlo más. Porque si esta vez no me elijo, me perderé para siempre, y yo no quiero eso... mucho menos por alguien, que estando a la vuelta de casa, eligió no venir por mí. 🥀

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Nothin.last4ever

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8-10-25

I still love you.

I still love you, even if I can't tell you that. There's a lot I can't tell you actually. Like how I sprayed my rabbit with your perfume and I sleep with it every night. I can't fall asleep without it, without convincing myself it's you in my arms. How I whisper "I love you" into the darkness every night before I fall asleep. How I lay awake at night thinking I really fucked it up this time. How I've gone back and reread that conversation about a hundred times, wishing I could take it all back. I didn't fall out of love with you. I just gave up. I was scared. I'm not going to beg for you to come back though. I told you that this was the last time. We'll just have to make our peace with that. You'll always be my what if though, the one that got away. I'll probably start my own unsent project, with all these letters you'll never see. I do hope you love on though. Find some girl who treats you like the queen you are, and looks at you like you're her universe. You used to look at me like that you know. Lord knows you've always loved me more. I fell first but I think you fell harder. But when someone asks me about my first love, I'll smile and tell them about you. I'll tell them about your love for the sunrises and sunsets, and how you e always dreamed of dancing and kissing in the rain. How you would laugh when I got shy, and how I fell in love with your laugh before anything else. How when your eyes are in the right light, they reminded me of a lizard. Sometimes I look through all my pictures just to look at your eyes. I can stare for hours without looking away when I'm looking at those pictures. I think about you a lot still, even though you don't want to talk to me right now. I think about you when I'm laying in bed, when I hear a song that reminds me of you. Like right now, I could use a love song by Marren Morris is playing as I'm sitting here writing. I could use a love song right now, but they all sound like they were written about you. I can't look at the stars without thinking of you and crying. I know I fucked us up. I know we're at the end. But I don't want it to end with us no longer talking. I can't let you go without telling you I love you one more time. So I love you princess, even if you'll never hear me say that again. I love you to the moon and to Saturn, always and forever💛

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Losing Lovers & Friends

I miss my best friend. God do I miss her.

Not the person you’ve been lately..

but the you who laughed with me so hard we couldn’t breathe,

the you who made a curated playlist for every road trip.

I miss completing each other’s thoughts.

Playing video games until our eyes blurred.

Watching crime shows and spending hours in theories about who did it.

Weekend library hangs where we pretended to be quiet,

but always ended up whispering too much.

I miss fall decor shopping,

filling the cart with pumpkins and cinnamon candles

so we could make the house feel warm together.

I miss the thoughtful little things you’d grab for me on every grocery run..

the way you noticed what I loved before I even said it out loud.

I miss calling you when my days are bad or my heart is sad

I miss you texting me silly bitmojis of your self wearing a new outfit

I miss the late night runs through Roberto’s or McDonald’s, just because.

I miss our made up language for the dogs & kids

I don’t know if I miss you,

or if I miss the us that only existed before the breaking.

Maybe it’s the same thing.

Maybe it isn’t.

I miss my best friend.

No one can seem to take her place.

Do you ever miss her too?

The best friend you used to be to me?

Was I ever your best friend like that?

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🕊️

⤷

𝙸’𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍

𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚟𝚊𝚜

𝙱𝚞𝚝

𝙸𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝙰𝚜 𝙸 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢

𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚞

𝙸’𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚊 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛

𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚢

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎

𝙸’𝚕𝚕 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝙱𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔ᯓ

-moya

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"You laughed like a metaphor I've been trying to write down for years."

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credit

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🧅

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Joane mlp custom! ☁️🍂

Her front view is funny

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𝑏𝑦 𝐾𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑟𝑎 𝐴𝑢𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑦, 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑠, 𝑉𝑜𝑔𝑢𝑒 𝐹𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒

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as most girls do

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Basically Remmick being denied at The Juke.

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"no mom you don't get it I want to be a model and do slutty things in Paris"