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I love huffing candles but only yankee candle candles because do other kinds of candle have entire storefronts at my local mall? No they do not. I like going inside and taking a deep deep breath and immediately getting knocked out as a barrage of s c e n t s hit my olfactories at once and then the girl at the counter has to use a snow shovel to remove me from the store. She’s getting buff from it all so it’s a net positive I think, when I first met her she had noodle arms but now she has biceps the size of a baby laid on its side. I keep trying to tell her to use her legs sometimes when she scoops me out so she gets a better workout but then she just punches me in the face with her massive arms and I wake up outside of my house which is impressive because I live exactly seventy-two miles away from my local mall and I don’t think she owns a car
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