sylvianius - Tumblr blog

[sylvianius]

My new crush >:3

[sylvianius]

mercs in paint but a lil' bit pizza tower-ish

[sylvianius]

Skilltober 18 - Half-Light

bare your teeth

(I'll look into making these prints I think)

[sylvianius]

The air is heavy and the first drops of rain trickle down your scalp.

Annoyed, you look up.

[sylvianius]

FEM MEDIC TF2 BOOBS ‼️‼️

[sylvianius]

i lost track of who i am so now i guess im updating her portrait since i've kinda gotten better at drawing in the de-style wheezes

[sylvianius]

THOUGHT GAINED: INFERNAL ENGINES

PROBLEM

The world is ending. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the dealer knows it, the jailer knows it, the king and all his men know it. All one has to do is look around to see it— the future is curdling into something pale and incorporeal. The infernal machine that is this stupid world is going to blow, sooner rather than later. So what are you doing? Why are you still here? Why is anyone still here?

SOLUTION

You are doing the only thing worth doing. You are living. *Why,* you ask? Try and remember now. Remember your mother’s hand on your shoulder. Remember the taste of a fresh catch. Remember the times when you were kind to the dogs in the valley and they did not bare their teeth. Remember the weight of a child on your shoulders. Remember the stars throwing their light against the wall of sodium and smog. Remember singing until your throat was raw. Remember crying just as loudly and publicly, and the gentleness with which someone opened your curled fist and pressed a handkerchief into your palm. Crying, laughing, running, eating, screaming, haunting, loving, fighting, fighting, fighting. The fight fuels you, and you fuel the fight. You run yourself ragged just for a chance to keep running. You never stop. You cannot stop. The world depends on it. *You* are the infernal engine. You are the world. And, simply put: you want to live.

[sylvianius]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[sylvianius]

Did a thing for profile with my original characters! Who knows, maybe someday I'll tell more about them ✨

[sylvianius]

SKILLTOBER

(that took until January. Anway)

INT

Logic Encyclopedia Rhetoric Drama Conceptualization & Visual Calculus

PSY

Volition Inland Empire Empathy Authority Esprit de Corps Suggestion

FYS

Endurance Pain Threshold Physical Instrument Electrochemistry Shivers Half-Light

MOT

Hand/Eye-Coordination Perception Reaction Speed Savoir Faire Interfacing Composure

???

Ancient Reptilian Brain and Limbic System

[sylvianius]

Stuff I've collected

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[sylvianius]

Oh to be a bear, eating salmon, attacking campers, eating campers

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[sylvianius]

Top-Tier Villain Motivations

They will be safe. It doesn't matter who else or what else burns as long as They will be safe.

I will be safe. The hunger and the cold will never touch me again.

Fuck any bitch who's prettier(/cooler/better-liked/better at making dumplings) than me.

Yes, Master

Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. LOVE ME!

I know the terrible things these so-called "heroes" will do if I don't stop them (<- is absolutely wrong)

I don't want a better future, I want a better past!

No other way to get performance art funded these days

[sylvianius]

She was supposed to be talking to miss Pauling but I died while drawing