sylviealexandria - Tumblr blog

[sylviealexandria]

“You will have bad times but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.”

— Robin Williams

[sylviealexandria]

“Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That’s who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it.”

— C. Assaad

[sylviealexandria]

Ouch

When you have strict parents so miss out on all the stupid highschool/college experiences…..

All your friends are out there, getting their party on, making memories and you are stuck, feeling like you’re missing out on the time of your life. Those lit Friday night parties? Nope. Those wild Saturday ragers? Forget about it.

It’s like you are trapped in this lane bubble while everyone is out there having a blast. You are trying to act cool, but deep down, you’re feeling hella isolated and left out.

You try to talk to your folks, hoping they’ll ease up a bit, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. They hit you with the classic “focus on your studies” spiel lecture. And yeah, sure, education matters, but so does having a freaking life, right?

You are stuck daydreaming about all the epic memories you could be making, all the laughs and adventures you’re missing. And it’s like,damn, when will these prohibition ever end?

[sylviealexandria]

Growing up with strict and abusive parents has meant that even now that i know what they have done, and even while im trying to get out, i still get so much anxiety when i have to do things without them. Even when im trying to get a job to get some independence, im avoiding it because im so anxious about having to do anything on my own, all i want is to ask them for help, and let them do it all for me, and the fact that im not even going to be able to do this slowly, that soon im going to have to throw myself into it and go from not even knowing how to use public transport to being on my own in the world is terrifying.

[sylviealexandria]

Parents be like, "Your generation is always on the phone, that's why you don't talk."

Did it ever occur to you I'm on my phone because I don't wanna talk to you? That if you weren't so critical, I would automatically prefer your company to mindlessly scrolling Instagram?

Taking my phone away won't help. I wouldn't talk to you even if the alternative was watching paint dry. Because you don't actually want to talk to me, do you? You don't want to hear about how your actions have hurt me; the profound insecurity that is embedded deep in my bones; the fact that I want you to stop saying some things because they make me sad and anxious; or any of my beliefs that dare to be different from yours.

No, you don't want to talk. And neither do I. The phone, sir, is the only thing keeping this interaction civil. It's the only way I can bear your presence.

Because if I started talking, really talking, about everything that's on my mind, I wouldn't know how to stop.

And your generation can't deal with that.

Your generation is always on the run from emotions. That's why we don't talk.

[sylviealexandria]

This hit close to home

I think one of the saddest things is when you don’t want anything anymore. You’re not in despair, you know you’re not alone, you know it can get better, but you dont want any of it. You’re just tired of living. I’m not sure if anyone can really help at that point.

[sylviealexandria]

I'm not struggling with being mentally ill, I'm pretty fucking good at it

[sylviealexandria]

I routinely destroy myself because nothing quite gives me comfort more than the internal screaming of my body in pain.

[sylviealexandria]

“If someone treats you badly recognize that there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people do not go around destroying other people.”

— Unknown

[sylviealexandria]

“We lose ourselves in things we love. We find ourselves there, too.”

— Kristin Martz

[sylviealexandria]

Do me a favor, okay? Next time you have a chance, close your eyes for a minute and take a deep breath and imagine someone loving you.

Imagine someone who gets excited just thinking about you. Imagine someone who loves the things you say and do and who genuinely enjoys spending time with you. Imagine someone who feels lucky every moment they get to be around you.

It can be a real person or someone you just made up. You can imagine them praising you or laughing with you or touching you or whatever love means to you. It can be romantic or otherwise. Take your pick.

And if you had a hard time doing it?

Do it again. And again. And again.

I read once that it’s important for us to visualize being loved. That your brain needs to be trained like a muscle, and like a muscle, it can become weak from disuse. Your brain can only do the things that you practice doing, and if you never, ever visualize someone loving you, it becomes difficult to even imagine someone loving you. You get stuck in a rut. And once it’s impossible to imagine someone loving you, it becomes impossible to believe you will ever be loved.

I think… sometimes it can become easy to stop believing that we’re worthy of love. And I think sometimes we have this fantasy of someone making us believe that we’re worthy of it again. Or that somehow we’ll just — earn it, one day. Being worthy of love and desire, respect and affection.

But I think the truth is that we can only start believing that we’re worthy of love if we’re capable of imagining it. And it becomes much, much easier to imagine it if you practice doing so.

It may feel awkward at first. Embarrassing. Silly. Maybe even painful. But think about it like this, maybe: your first day in a dance class, you’ll fall. You’ll look ridiculous. It’ll feel like your body will never be able to do this fluidly. But by the end of the class, you’ll be able to move in a whole new way. Maybe not perfectly, but… better, y’know?

Learn to waltz with your own mind, and try not to cringe too hard at your first awkward movements. Start small and work your way up if you have to. Someone liking you, then someone liking your conversations, then someone liking your presence, then someone purposefully seeking you out. Someone putting time aside for you. Someone thinking about you when you’re not there. Someone being with you because there’s nowhere they’d rather be.

It may feel self-indulgent, but… I mean, we all deserve to be indulged sometimes. And we all deserve to feel worthy of love.

So… indulge yourself. Take a moment and have a silly little fantasy. Get into the habit of imagining love, and imagining it for the you that exists right now, not the you that you wish you were.

Learn to speak the language of love as it applies to you, even if you think that it doesn’t, and one day you’ll realize how to use those syllables to say your own name.

It’ll come one day. In the meantime, let’s learn to dance together, okay?

[sylviealexandria]

To the Dadbastian crowd

(and general enjoyers of the monster!parent + human!child dynamic):

I would like to recommend the series 'The Girl from the Other Side'

^^ These guys are Shiva and 'Teacher' ^^

Yes they are having a tea party.

Yes Shiva has given Teacher a flower crown.

I bought the first of the 4 deluxe editions of the manga today, and I'm already obsessed with how cute they are.

Teacher protec

Teacher attac

But most of all,

He bakes pie that is blac

[sylviealexandria]

Let's continue making memories together

[sylviealexandria]

The girl from the other side

Written and Illustrated by Nagabe

Board created by: leswersaw 10/12

do not repost

reblogs and kudos are appreciated <3

[sylviealexandria]

The girl from the other side : Siúil, a Rún

Written and Illustrated by:Nagabe

[sylviealexandria]

Stay with me...

[sylviealexandria]

"Sometimes it's hard to let go of a person...especially if it's someone you love very much.

The moments we spent are the best memories that will remain engraved in my heart, you were by my side protecting me and making me smile.

When my tears appeared you knew how to comfort my sadness.

We created many moments together, you just wanted to make me happy...and I wanted to see you happy...

Thank you for being by my side and creating many experiences with me.

I love you."

Sincerely, Aria