a sideblog where i infodump about indie gamescurrently playing: YIIK I.V and Sorry We're Closedcheck out my steam page icon by glass-goblin, used without permission lol
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Adding environmental weapons, like these pipes you can tear off the wall.
Was meant to have added more weapons at this point, but got carried away doing metal pipe tricks instead. Also still working towards a demo.
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what farming items in mmorpgs has taught me: i used to think using ice trays to make ice cubes was free but after thinking about it i have to pay the electric bill to power the freezer so every moment that i’m not freezing new trays of ice cubes is a moment that i’m underutilizing the freezer and increasing the cost of ice cubes. i have to constantly swap out ice trays for new ice cubes on an hourly rotation on a 24 hour basis or else i won’t produce the maximum amount of ice cubes possible and will underutilize the full potential of my electric bill. i need to stop using all other appliances and utilities in my home to make more ice cubes
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goty 2024 is on steam now check it out. please wishlist to support transexualism
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🎵💿 Very excited to announce that Y2ROLL is getting a new all-original soundtrack, brought to you by Qteku!
Here's an early peek at World 1: Purple Mountains ⛰️⛰️
Look forward to more promo trailer vids in future for the rest of the worlds!
⭐🔗⬇️
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today, VIVIDLOPE turns 2 years old. woo
game has a little secret - an orthographic projection mode. to activate, open Credits in the main menu and type in the button sequence: UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT DELETE you will hear a chime. on switch/gamepad use the top face button (X) instead of DELETE
have fun
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i should officially say to expect posts to slow wayyyyyyyy down for the foreseeable future. im about to go into whats basically a 12 hour work week with school and work and stuff, and not a lot of my free time is gonna be spent shouting lukewarm gaming opinions into the void. "the indie game lady likes this indie game" yeah who couldve fucking guessed
so yeah this blog is gonna be low priority for a second. well more like a year, but still. its not cancelled or anything, i still have tons of shit to say. w k t d is too inspiring for me not to wax lyrical about it for thousands of words of barely-proofread forum chatter. just, like, dont have expectations. like in general
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im staring at a mirror of myself, all i see is someone else...
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ive been playing a lot of collective unconscious lately

at first i was gonna make a post talking about multiple ynoproject games before i realized that i just had too much to say about this one. also, this was written before the update dropped
header made by callisto on steamgriddb
if you dont already know what yume nikki is, i consider it a must-play if you enjoy analyzing games. its effectively a rorschach test with just enough fuel to point you in an interesting direction that nobodys pieced together in quite the same way yet. the best way to play it is either for free on steam, or on ynoproject.net, which also hosts a handful of the fuckton of games that act as entries into the yumenikki-like genre. perhaps the most notable among these games, along with the classics like yume 2kki and .flow, is collective unconscious, a yume nikki fangame designed with the website's massively-multiplayer functionality in mind.
initially, i was worried that the collective nature of the game would encourage way more obtuse design. like, if youve heard of namco's tower of druaga, you might know that while english arcade-goers hated the eclectic and bizarre progression requirements, japanese arcades were abuzz with collaboration, people starting cabinet journals that list their discoveries and offer tips. i minored in sociology and therefore have the confidence to declare that this is a perfect example of collectivism vs individualism. anywho, i was worried that the post-fnaf world would encourage this kind of design on a more widespread level again, which would just mean tabbing out into a guide every few minutes. well, youve gotta for a handful of the journal covers and menu styles (the game does a great job at pacing out the rewards while still maintaining reasonable expectations), but those are optional cosmetics, and their obscurity is par for the course. the effects (scuse me, the eidola) are pretty clear-cut too, i feel like yume nikki just kinda handed em out for random stuff (which is great for what its going for!) but i really like the spectacle and circumstance around em here. like, you find the rat one in a random dumpster somewhere, but the weather one is from communing with the gods
ill note now, there isn't the stock speed vehicle like in most fangames, you can just sprint whenever. this isnt a trivial change, and the game knows it. theres one puzzle that is built around needing to sprint with another effect active. personally, i like this change, but i understand why oldheads wouldnt. dont worry, i still take my time, its just nice to speed up a bit without having to sacrifice my cool eidola
unfortunately, the multiplayer aspect wasnt too lively. there were only a handful of other dreamers, and the ones that werent just afk in the nexus were off doing their own thing god-knows-where on the map. i think i ran into one other person organically, ever, and they just ran past me. i suppose this is an inevitability when you put strangers in a sandbox together... especially since most people (hundreds compared to our twenty-odd) were in yume 2kki, the MUCH larger sandbox. anyway, im gonna stop talking about meta stuff and get into what youre all here for: dream analysis. finally, a use for that stupid psyche degree.
oh real quick, the exception to the loneliness thing is expeditions, something built-in to YNO at large. you get exp if you go to a specific location in one of the games, so you can expect a lot of people there. once you get there, youre gonna see a bunch of people standing around the entrance facing the camera afk.
anyway, when i got the soulfire eidola, the obligatory weapon effect, i got some "donut steel" vibes. its kinda funny to jump from a kitchen knife to casting Demonic Flare: Pillar of Hellfire with a floating eye face vigil and arms made of flames. but then i simply got over myself and took this as a surface-level aspect of minnatsuki's personality. you can tell a lot from a protag by how they kill npcs. for example, sabitsuki has a gun, but only uses it for intimidation, leaving the act of killing to some old pipe she found; implying that she is pragmatic, and still sees the act of murder as something dirty and ill-fitting. meanwhile, urotsuki uses a chainsaw, a weapon infamous for being impractical against humans irl but pervasive in fiction due to the sheer cool factor; this tells us she glorifies killing, seeing it as something fun and badass. minnatsuki is similar to the latter, having a fantasy spell as their method, meaning that we can see a hint of escapist desire, to be empowered beyond mundane humanity in a way that equates to the ability to harm others.
other eidola, like her animal forms being a mouse (stereotypically skittish and shy) and a jellyfish (weak and passive, confined to water), and her instument of choice being the meek and obscure kalimba, paints the picture of a girl who feels desperately powerless. she doesnt want to lash out and kill others per se, her weapon is a bit too fantastical for that. she just wants to feel strong, and whats stronger than some arbitrary mythical abstraction of an element of destruction? and dont get me started on the umbra and spectral eidola, letting her fade into nothing or just be untethered to the world. theres something she wants to escape
another thing? very rarely are you given an eidola. with soulfire and umbra you have to actively avoid people trying to stop you from leaving with it. the ones that seem more permissive have caveats: you get rodentia in a back alley from someone hidden in a dumpster, you loot lumen off a corpse, spectral comes from a literal cult ritual, and climate makes you earn the blessings of three separate... gods? before youve earned the right to it. the only real exception is kaliba, because theyre like $20 on amazon. nah but seriously, maybe it represents being a heartfelt gift from a friend? or maybe its granted more readily because its recreational, and doesnt empower minnatsuki in the way weve talked about them desiring?
by the way, i dont think minnatsuki has a gender. not like in a kris deltarune "actively canonically nonbinary" way, but as an unimportant detail left up to interpretation. maybe theyre just a cis person who doesnt care and puts no stake in it as an aspect of their identity, or maybe they just feel alienated from the social concept of gender altogether? i prefer the last one, personally, for reasons ill get to later
that brings us to the eyes. there is so much eye imagery in minnatsuki's dreams. eyes on stalks that watch you, where trying to talk to them is useless. giant murals with a six-armed diety that has an eye on its palm. women in melancholy, whos faces lack eyes. a giant flower hidden in the dark that hides a single large eye. only being able to enter the house in rainstorm city that has the eye symbol next to it. perception plays a toll on minnatsuki, and i think it goes both ways. they feel observed in a burdensome way, and they feel incapable of 'seeing' on the same level as others. or maybe they see too much? is there an event she shouldnt have seen, or does she experience sight at a level above others, recognizing things others cant? the child and spectral eidola may be a wish fulfillment of the former, letting her see the unseen in a literal way, while also letting her overcome limitations that she has seen for herself with the latter
another thing about the design i wanna mention real quick is that so much is diagonal. this is something that the rpgmaker engine isn't built to really allow. like yeah, you can, and this game goes out of its way to make it non-obtrusive by having minnatsuki slide along walls sometimes, but it's not something the foundation was set in mind for. this also brings to mind the idea that minnatsuki doesn't fit in with others. it's not a disease like in .flow, it's not something that's detrimental to her in a literal way. it just causes friction with the world around her, because she doesn't feel as if it's built for how she is. she just doesnt quite fit with the world around her sometimes, the way she moves is just a bit off, like a direction-locked movement system trying to go diagonally
theres also a lot of thematic relevance to the idea of connection and ingroup membership. the game is named from the jungian ideal, a level of understanding inherent to the human mind where process instinct and achetype (the latter basically being our classification of others into pre-conscieved schema like "the wily trickster" and "the tyrant leader"). in addition, the game has a lot of togetherness imagery, with npcs sometimes travelling in packs or existing as hordes (the only exception i can think of are npcs that give you something like an eidola or menu theme, perhaps meaning isolation holds a deep importance), and things acting as notable points of interaction when they are isolated (note that the dungeon-relevant houses in gbc world are furthest from the village, for example). there's also a lot of totem poles, acting as the dream trigger and the centre of the nexus, signalling great importance. in first nation tradition, totem poles are created to honour the lineage of a clan (using designs that are unique to that clan), and send messages such as welcoming visitors and shaming wrong-doers (both of these uses involve establishing in-group membership).
i believe these themes combined, minnatsuki's dreams letting her feel powerful and connected, paint the picture of a person that is alone and powerless. minnatsuki doesnt have friends, and im not sure if she even has bullies. i have yet to meet a chaser in this game, so maybe that means that nobody even singles her out in a negative way? stares and weird looks, maybe, but only as a collective and not as a personal connection. this is corroborated by the school location, which minnatsuki's dream constructs as a tainted and evil place, half-formed from broken blueprints. she understands it as a flawed idea done poorly; implying that her disillusion is so severe she sees her isolation as an inseparable corruption of the entire system. so, she feels powerless to stop it, as well as alone and friendless
unfortunately, the game doesnt seem to have a proper ending yet. which is a shame, because most solid ynfg theories start with you working backwards from the ending. well, i supposed "social outcast that struggles with confidence and/or self-esteem" isnt a groundbreaking theory, but im still interested to see if this supported or jossed as the game gets more updates. also, i noticed while brushing this up that at some point i switched from they to she for minnatsuki, so i guess the audience has interpreted.
look i could ramble about this wonderful game all day. dont get me started about my thoughts on the event in uncanny world, the lonely girl in snowy shoal, and the random blond girl that can just show up in random places out of nowhere and that takes you one a scooter ride once you get to know her?
im gonna be playing this for a long, long time, and im gonna love every second of it
#collective unconscious#yume nikki#ynfg#ynoproject#in progress#i hope this inspired you to give the game a try! lemme know if you run into me my username is queenzigzag#this was cathartic to write because its been a while since ive really sunk my teeth into some story analysis#mechanical analysis? sure. but as a skill of mine that pales in comparison to english lit-style breaking down themes and subtextual meaning#wait thats not true. ive been going off on literary analysis i have a 7k dan*anron*a retrospective in my drafts#i think that plus fl*thead might be why i feel like ive been so negative in my reviews lately?#maybe im still rattled from reviewing g*d str*ke and t*los princ*pal back to back#which was like. last year lol#i promise ive written up reviews for my all-time favorites and im currently playing some that are sucking my dick clean off#ill uh. finish em someday. if i dont get distracted
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game reviewers are weird
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was gonna put this in the tags but fuck it
gacha games are designed to be unfun on purpose
when you buy a game for a flat one-time fee (like, the normal way to pay for a game) then there's no incentive for the product to be anything other than just... a good, enjoyable time. there's the basic "we want the customer to feel like they got their money's worth" but other than that, as far as the publisher/developer is concerned, they already got their money as soon as the game is in your hands and anything beyond that is usually irrelevant
for a free-to-play gacha, the revenue isn't upfront, it's throughout the whole game. suddenly, to make money, you can't just make a fun game that people will enjoy, finish, and move on from. instead, you need to get players to pay smaller fees continuously
with no upper limit
so of course the games are going to adopt every psychological manipulation tactic they can come up with. the chief among them is the sunk cost fallacy. yknow how there's a meme where drug dealers always give you the first hit for free to get you in the door? it's like that. most gacha frontload you with tons of free shit, free roles and free characters. this does two things: it tricks you into thinking the game is generous and easy, and it builds your collection so it triggers the sunk cost fallacy. "i've already put in the work and built up my profile, i can't just stop playing"
then the lynchpin is deliberate, weaponized boredom. here's the gameplay loop of every gacha: your characters aren't strong enough to beat this section/boss. in order to get enough currency for the gacha roll, you need to either grind out the weaker enemies for god knows how long, or pay to skip the line. and the developers know, that if most of their income comes from people paying to skip the wait, then the wait needs to be as boring and awful as possible. so you're paying to play less of a game to get to the later parts, which are going to be just as bad if not worse with demanding more grinding. it's not a gameplay loop, it's a payment loop.
you're paying money to play LESS of a video game, which is the opposite of how it should work, because you've been tricked into thinking that it'll get better later. the genre is about tricking you into submission. oh, and that's not even mentioning how many of them use multiple currencies and redundant systems to confuse you into submission, too.
that's not how you design a video game, that's how you design a lotus-eater machine meant to suck the life out of as many people as it can
I really appreciate you being so openly against Gacha games. I have a history of addiction (not gambling) & various factors that make me susceptible to addictions in general.
It's really annoying when so many blogs I follow because they post gaming content are all posting about the latest Gacha that I cannot play, no matter how well made, no matter how good the story, no matter how good the gameplay.
Having someone with your kind of reach and popularity say "Actually no they suck, fuck Gacha." Is really refreshing and helps remind me that I'm not really missing out, despite the way I sometimes feel with everyone else positive posting about them.
Nowadays when I see a gacha game I just get angry that good artists and actors are being wasted on evil slop when they could be making stuff that's worthwhile. We used to be a real videogame industry

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Ppl on the Disco Elysium subreddit are going crazy after the mobile game was announced
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my 2025 backlog
im mostly making this as a statement to myself. theres a lot of games i wanna play and i just keep ending up with new ones and bumping things i wanna finish back and fuuuuuuuck why are there so many cool games. anyone who says games arent fun anymore is a moron im drowning in this shit
so these are going to be listed in the order i wanna play em/get back to em, when i complete something higher on the list i move down. probably. ill see how im feeling, this is me planning like months in advance
slay the princess

i got this game for christmas and like, holy shit. sincerely life changing, a must-play. its one of those "i cant tell you shit" kinda games where you get the intended experience knowing as little as possible going in. all ill say is that the character of the princess is such a joy to interact with and seeing how things evolve and react to your actions is unspeakably engaging. my favorite chapter is The Princess and The Dragon so far but im only on my second playthough so who knows what my favorite will be by the end. id usually be daunted by 130 steam achievements but given how fucking spectacular everything is all i feel is excitement
yiik: i.v

im like... 2/3 through this game? i havent met essentia but im about to. im really interested in this game, its so... meaty, yknow? theres just so much to appreciate and talk about, considering what the authors intended and how that plays out. i mean that as a sincere compliment by the way, the worst thing art can be is boring, after all.
like, ive got a draft where i talk about my thoughts on the postmodern elements and their execution and the fan reaction and its one of my longest posts, and i havent even like, finished the game or played the more controversial parts.
the other day i mixed together oversteeped raspberry tea (warm) and cheap cream soda. i cant tell if it was good or bad but it was fucking intriguing. yiik is like that but if it was also unironically good
sorry we're closed

i fuckingf love colour!!! fuck yeah art direction!!!
pretty sure i found this either on steamdb or nextfest. i was like "this looks exactly like the trippy neon bullshit that my ass would be into" and i was right because im a predictable bitch.
im gonna talk about it more when i make a dedicated post (i feel like im gonna say that a lot) but i got like 1/3 into the first level and im already in love with the mechanics. the third eye is such a fucking cool way of introducing risk/reward and being able to tailor your approach to your playstyle moment-to-moment. and the thing that follows you around? genuinely terrifying shit. if it werent for the princess's sincere self-rattling and how close i am to beating yiik this would be all the way up top
whos lila

i wanna space out how soon i play this after slay the princess, mostly because im definitely gonna 100% the latter and im probably gonna be burned out on monochromatic branching narratives. but this still looks so interesting! i tried a VN called root double a while back, and instead of making a/b decisions, you manually control relationship values and those values determine what the main character decides to do. from what i can tell, this game is the same, but instead of relationships you have to manually control your facial expressions. by like, clicking and dragging your cheeks to make a smile
this is a mystery story so ive been deliberately avoiding learning more about it. this is off of word of mouth and vibes exclusively and i cant wait to see what the fuck this games deal is
dread delusion

i love surreal retro bullshit
disillusion

i LOVE surreal retro bullshit.
demon turf

ive been wanting to play this game since i phased out of it back in. uh. october? okay that wasnt as long ago as i figured (update: this has been rotting in my drafts for a few months. so that is a long ass time ago now). sorry but as an aside, now that im transitioning time moves so fucking slow /pos. ive had years that felt shorter than the last few months, fuck
anyway. this game fucking rocks. i love the movement and the music and the presentation it all rocks. i feel really bad that its been pushed so far back because im like halfway through the main campaign but like, ive got things i wanna finish and things i really wanna start and ugghhh
i also wanna give inertial drift some focus. im tired so im not gonna get the banner for this one but it looks like a cool stylish racing game.
does it ever fuck you up how much wonderful things are in the world? i fucking love video games, and if i did nothing but play video games 24 hours a day for the rest of my life, i would never experience everything that makes this medium wonderful. it feels like it'll take years for me to catch up with all the great games that came out in 2024. antonblast and atlyss and dungeon clawler and threshold and fear the spotlight and anthology of a killer and pinball spire and psilosybil and ufo 50 and plucky squire and judero and starstruck hands of time. im going through my wishlist ordered by release date and ive made it through three months of releases. i fucking love video games
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:: TERMINAL FAGGOT CYBERSEX SLIME STYLE ::
slime feet is an adults only linear visual novel for everyone who has ever had to love through the keyboard.
slime feet is about an in-depth exploration and reflection on long distance relationships, disability and illness.
slime feet is about finding a sense of intimacy and lesbian sexual connection even in front of the macabre.
slime feet is about how foot fetish prevails even when your favorite feet are turning into slime.
slime feet is about body horror slime feet is about extravagant foot fetishism slime feet is about sloppy messy lesbian cybersex slime feet is about 'faggot' getting thrown around like candy slime feet is about an inevitable drawn out death slime feet is about you knowing i love you
[ wishlist slime feet on steam now ]
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ive been playing a lot of Marvel Rivals lately

i can explain
so i know i prop myself up as like, The Indie Game Gal. that playing singleplayer indie stuff is like, my whole thing. well, i enjoyed overwatch when it first came out, for some reason. i stopped playing pretty quick when i realized i wasnt having fun, i was just making myself play more matches for the lootboxes. also the community was kinda shit. anyway, rivals seems like its got the fun factor without... as much baggage
so the first thing i noticed is the monetization. the thing that always keeps me away from live service games, especially free to play games, is that theyre almost always designed around tricking you into spending money on a game you hate. ive done this song and dance with cookie run before: "isnt it annoying that youre not really progressing that fast, and we're making you wait to play the game more, and theres too much locked content? well, you can stop playing this unfun game by giving us money!" has always been stupid to me. why would i give you money to make the game less unfun, when i can simply stop playing the unfun game for free? if you are designing a game to trick players into paying to skip frustrations, whats stopping them from just... not?
so thankfully, theres nothing here that impacts gameplay. if you turn textures off, the experience of a first-time f2p player will be identical to a whale. i dont play a lot of live service stuff so im not sure how standard of a practice this is, but... no, im not gonna praise something for the bare minimum.
thats not to say there isnt the stink of live service bullshit. theres still daily challenges and a battlepass, but you can buy some (but not most) battlepass items with purple currency you earn from these challenges, which can include the blue currency you use to buy shop items, and the yellow currency that you use to buy the luxury battlepass or convert to blue currency, but watch out because the purple currency expires when this battlepass is over. fuck this. fuck all of this. we all know the only reason theyre doing this is to obfuscate the cost of things and trick people into spending more money
so my advice is to literally completely ignore all of it. never open the store or battlepass menu. the literal only measurable effect this will have on your gameplay experience will be improvements. you wont be tricked into pouring more time into the game than you want to for some carrot-on-a-stick pittance of funny money. nobody cares about your sprays or your skins.
okay. now we may talk about the video game.
...its really fun. its got that sauce where all the characters are pretty easy to learn, but they have well-designed kits that let you get creative and play into their niche.
for example, my dps main is squirrel girl, a character rated 1/5 on difficulty. her abilities are jumping a lot higher, and throwing something that locks the opponent in place for a bit. she can also eat an acorn that lets her do both of those again. this is very simple, but theres still a lot you can do. because her projectiles are arced explosives, its great for hiding behind something and picking away at crowds. this means shes surprisingly good as a sniper, since her jump lets her both get in to high positions and get out of dodge in a panic. this also makes her a great flank character, since her high damage can let her take a lot of enemies out before they realize the damage isnt coming from the frontlines.
every character (except black widow, lmao) is like this, where they have really solid builds that let them excel at something specific while still allowing for player freedom. moon knight is another example, where his ankh gives him great utility as a sniper, a flanker, and just about any other word that means "taking the enemy by surprise" while also being great for frontline crowd control.
uh... thats kinda all you need, i think. the fundamentals of a hero shooter are its characters, and if you nail those then youre golden. the maps are all fine, the aesthetic is great, this game's base is great
it is also a multiplayer game. as a counsellor in training its basically mandatory for me to say that the brain "fully developing" is a myth so misguided i hesitate to even call it pop-psychology. that being said, i was a very stupid teenager for a lot of reasons, so im gonna say that my time playing overwatch (2016-2018 for those curious) doesnt count. i didnt really engage with the community, and my gameplay wouldve been the same if everyone but me was a bot. here im actually doing my best to interact with others
i got to gold-III on comp, and the difference between that and quick play is kinda staggering. im not gonna be the douchebag that says casual doesnt count, thatd be stupid, but if you have a good team comp vs a bad team comp its like a different game
why does nobody want to play tank? i think its because a lot of people dislike slow defensive play, but like, penni parker is really fun and strategic. i havent played the others but, uh. magneto looks cool i think?
anyway what im saying is i get why most quick play matches end up with me as the only tank, or as one of 2 healers while everyone else goes dps. those are the fun ones. i want to get better with stormand my first thought was to take her through some low-stakes quick play, but im not gonna be the 5th dps
but dude, when things line up and theres a balanced team that plays well together, it kicks ass. and that only really happens in comp, or if you get a ream of people together in discord
and honestly? the matchmaking is kinda fucked. in my climb to gold this season i had so many games that were an unfun wash in either direction. either our team dominated with no resistance or we couldnt get a word in edgewise, it was bizarrely eclectic
this leads into how im kinda surprised there werent a lot of ragers? back when i played overwatch, i tried playing mercy (the only good healer) literally once ever. when i tried i got singled out and told over the mic that i need to stop playing. i was terrified of playing support in rivals as a result, but not only is healer way easier than the medi-beam structure by just making your basic attacks heal AND do damage based on if they hit an enemy or a teammate (and everyone seems designed around healing the team), people just seem... nicer?
its not perfect, ive gotten people saying the our wolverine was trash and that our team sucks, but like 8/10 times its been pretty alright. but god DAMN people dont seem to understand that for a payload to move forward you should probably stand close to it, where are you guys going
final verdict. it is fun. my id is 1623948266 hit me up
#marvel rivals#idk how you really beat a live service game so im not doing my usual tagging thing#i promise im still playing through indie stuff im just enjoying having friends right now#also again the whole 'other hobbies' thing
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MetaWare High School is a very surprising 4th wall-breaking game where the characters are all self-aware and know they’re in a visual novel!
Read More & Play MetaWare High School, Free (Steam)
#promo#this this is such a great analysis exercise#like its just so fun to look into the characters and what they do and why#i love them all
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wanted to promote this game i've been watching the devlogs for over the past few months. it's actually pretty dope and i think it has a lot of potential. very in the vein of things like ultrakill and a bit of neon white. speedrunny games but i dont think that basic description does this kinda thing justice. i think you'll know if it's for you just by watching some footage or playing the demo !!
youtube
#Promo#oh badass the demos out!#i caught the dev making a video about this but i didnt even know the page was up#thanks mal youre a pal
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