system-demon
system-demon
Some Random Fuck on the Web
34K posts
I do not know which Ancient Deity allowed me access to the Internet. But I hope they regret their decision. 27 he/him
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
system-demon · 8 days ago
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it's such a sadness to me that kids eventually lose that 'no filter' thing when they grow up. my niece asked what 9/11 is and someone explained it to her and her unfiltered conclusion was "bro. is that it"
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system-demon · 11 days ago
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[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost
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system-demon · 12 days ago
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Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.
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system-demon · 15 days ago
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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:
I’m the best to ever do it
Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)
No one’s ever done it like me
I could be President/they should make me President
Behold, a mere fraction of my power!
The public wants to be me soooooo bad
I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)
How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?
Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix
I’m being sabotaged
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system-demon · 15 days ago
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>Be me
>Make bowl of panda express leftovers
>Chow down on 2/3rds of it before father calls you over to show you memes
>Leave bowl unattended
>Laugh about memes for a good ten minutes
>Return to room
>??Bat? In bowl? ?
>Don't have anything to grab bat with that are bite proof
>Offer bat the head of the Winston Churchill marble bust to climb onto
>Bat does so
>Slowly carry Churchill and the bat to the window
>Bat won't let go of Churchill
>Pry bat off of him with nearby plastic skeleton hand
>Bat sits on windowsill for a second before flying off into the night
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system-demon · 17 days ago
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the space race may be the funniest point in history period and i'll stand by that. the US is like "yes whoever gets into space first will prove once and for all that our economic model is superior and that we are, in general, the superior country of superior and smarter people." then the soviets just went and did it and the US freaked out and needed to cover their ass so were like "WE MEAN THE MOON, WE MEAN THE FIRST TO LAND ON THE MOON."
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system-demon · 20 days ago
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system-demon · 20 days ago
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system-demon · 20 days ago
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9desw8ghb2wq3
^ wisdom from my cat who just stepped across my keyboard while i was trying to make a post
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system-demon · 20 days ago
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system-demon · 1 month ago
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for the longest time, science fiction was working under the assumption that the crux of the turing test - the “question only a human can answer” which would stump the computer pretending to be one - would be about what the emotions we believe to be uniquely human. what is love? what does it mean to be a mother? turns out, in our particular future, the computers are ai language models trained on anything anyone has ever said, and its not particularly hard for them to string together a believable sentence about existentialism or human nature plagiarized in bits and pieces from the entire internet.
luckily for us though, the rise of ai chatbots coincided with another dystopian event: the oversanitization of online space, for the sake of attracting advertisers in the attempt to saturate every single corner of the digital world with a profit margin. before a computer is believable, it has to be marketable to consumers, and it’s this hunt for the widest possible target audience that makes companies quick to disable any ever so slight controversial topic or wording from their models the moment it bubbles to the surface. in our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a human can answer are not about fear of death or affection. instead, it is those that would look bad in a pr teams powerpoint.
if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb?
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system-demon · 2 months ago
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system-demon · 2 months ago
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system-demon · 2 months ago
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you punch nazis!
(requested by anonymous)
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system-demon · 2 months ago
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system-demon · 2 months ago
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system-demon · 2 months ago
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Hey, y’all remember in P1 when GLaDOS’ Morality Core fell off and then she laughed and said “good news” and her whole tone of voice just switched and it was super chilling and a little gay and it absolutely fucking reverberated down your spine?
Good times.
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