syzygytailor

[syzygytailor]

Out of context quotes from work as the First Order crew part 2

“Yankees Resistance tears are all the caffeine I need” - Hux

“It’s not dying, it’s ascending” - Kylo Ren

“I hope they beat me with sticks and call me horrible, horrible things” - Kylo Ren

“Transparency is the best type of parency” - Phasma

“If you made me a dunce hat I’d wear it” - Mitaka

"Tomato potato, what do you want me to do about it?" - Phasma

“Welp, time to make room in the graveyard” - Kylo Ren

“We can’t forget the original triple dog dare: Cerberus” - Phasma

“I too suffer from Irish” - Hux

“I stole Santa Claus from them all because he was holding up the line at a Tim Horton’s” - Kylo Ren

“If that were hitler I would have much different opinions about hitler” - Mitaka

“Mercury was in Gatorade or some shit” - Hux

“Some of you have never had a personal vendetta against a printer before and it shows” - Mitaka

“I have a chronic condition called being way too sexy. I take medication for it but it doesn’t help. I feel bad for everyone out there who is attracted to me… I have never felt less sexy in my entire life.” - Kylo Ren

“It doesn’t have to be wet water, just water.” - Mitaka

“Trump’s Ren’s outbursts would make so much more sense if he was gay.” - Hux

“I will disembowel myself and play jump rope with my small intestine” - Hux

“If Wicked the resistance wins any award I will burn this building to the ground and you can quote me on that” - Phasma

“I’m just not used to having pants on” - Kylo Ren

“I hope he steps off a curb today and twists his ankle” - Mitaka

“Ah, yes slave labor” - Hux

“How much do we care about the Pope Supreme Leader right now?” - Hux

“The urge to wreck shit is overriding my urge to protect you” - Kylo Ren

“You read it, you weep it” - Phasma

“Good morning sweet angel baby” - Mitaka

“They should just send us to El Salvador reconditioning as a group, we would run that shit. Just kidding, they’d rock our shit so bad” - Mitaka

“I don’t care if it’s pronounced tomato or tomato all I know is there’s a red thing and I’m scared” - Mitaka

“I’m allowed to find dumb things funny, I laugh at Will Kylo all the time!” - Hux

“The letter L does not exist in the entirety of Canada Coruscant”- Mitaka

“What else is new? Fork found in kitchen, head found in stove” - Hux

“Remember, don’t be happy because it’s over, cry because it happened” - Kylo Ren

“You’ve heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for Eden Kylo with a gun” - Mitaka

“God speed? I wish I had some” - Hux

“Damn, who died and made me best friend?” - Phasma

“Tyler Hux seems the type to schedule sex” - Kylo Ren

“The gestapo need to ge-stop-it” - Mitaka

[syzygytailor]

Did you know that I love Pygmalion AUs in all my otps to the point where I commissioned @treffy-ot for a kylux one ?

DID YOU KNOW THAT IT MAKES ME YEARN?!

[syzygytailor]

WTF Kombat 2024 (Kylux and Co team) ---

thanks, grandma

[syzygytailor]

Merry Christmas In May? @drinkysketch

yeah I finally finished the secret Santa 😭

Without the filters

@kira-mortham

@dragonflies-draw-flame

@piecesofeden11

@not-so-allegiant-general

@irrationalgame

@darthnostra

@huxkisser

@rommonoch

@lessdenied

@fives-ren

@vitriolicia

@silly-little-goober-core

@armiestice

@edith-is-a-cat

@fizzydreamz

@xryptik

[syzygytailor]

What I think would happen if all of the Domhnall characters I know we’re put together in a battle Royale to the death

in this scenario they would have whatever they would typically have on their person in their movies. So Hux has his blaster and knives, Bill has his wand, any of them that have powers or enhancements keep them.

if they refuse to fight, then they get instantly killed

(none of these gifs are mine, the creators are listed bellow them. If you made one of these Gifs and you don't want it on this post let me know)

——————————————————————————————

right off the bat without hesitating or contemplating the situation he’s in, Hux shoots Thomas Burberry and then shoots Stensland. They’re easy targets quick to get out of the way. Eliminate the competition, besides everyone else was hesitating.

(Gif by @/resurgentclass-stardestroyer)

now, while everyone’s shocked at what just happened, Techie is hacking into Ash’s software and shutting him down

(Gif by @/collinear)

Tim tries to go runoff to find a dark confined space so he can time travel and prevent this whole thing from happening (without explaining what he's doing of course), but as he’s running off, Gabriel shoots him

(Gif by @/humanveil)

now Gabriel and Hux are having a shoot out

meanwhile Bill is fighting Thomas McGregor. And you might be thinking Thomas is just a normal guy. There’s no way he’s going to even stand a chance against this literal wizard. But you see, first of all Bill doesn’t really want to have to kill anyone. But he has to make it look like he’s fighting or else he’ll die. He also realized there’s something weird about Thomas. He can send him flying 50 feet in the air, but he’ll bounce when he lands like he’s a rubber ball. Because yes guys, cartoon violence is a superpower.

(Gif by @/chazzmemes)

anyway Hux, ends up winning the shoot out because he’s wearing a blaster proof vest, no one can tell me otherwise that he doesn’t have this on his person constantly. He’s way too paranoid to not have that shit.

but then the one nonthreatening easy kill left, because Bill is still messing with Thomas (mostly because he finds it kind of funny), is Techie. And I know realistically Hux would never. But they’re not related in this universe, they don’t know each other, and this is a death match that Hux intends to win. Techie isn’t even fighting, at best he’s used Ash’s mechanics to make a makeshift shield while everyone was fighting, and he doesn’t really want to win anyway.

(Gif by @/resurgentclass-stardestroyer)

but just as Hux is about to take the shot, Bill hits Techie with a protection spell and uses expelliarmus to knock the blaster out of Hux’s hand.

But Hux still has a hidden blade on his person. He makes it look like he’s going to go for Bill or Techie when he instead goes for Thomas who is no longer fighting Bill since Bill is protecting Techie. Unfortunately, cartoon violence isn’t going to do anything when you have a knife stabbing into your Chest.

now it’s just Techie, Bill, and Hux. Bill is protecting Techie and even though he doesn’t blame Hux for the murder because of the situation they’re in, He also isn’t going to let Hux win. And Hux does not stand a chance. This is a very intelligent curse breaker who graduated with top grades at Hogwarts and was reportedly very good at dueling. He knows both defensive and offensive spells and he probably can do a bit of hand-to-hand combat too even if it’s not as good as Hux’s.

(Gif by @/mugglenet) Hux’s best bet is getting the wand out of Bill’s hand because spellcasting will be more difficult for him then. And he certainly tries. lunging at Bill getting in as many hits as he can. Though Bill is kind of letting him, so that he feels like he at least did something before he loses. Hux could potentially use threatening Techie as a barging chip but Bill is blocking him and he’s still protected by magic, so eventually Hux tires himself out and Bill kills him. NOT WITH Avada Kedavra, I know it’s painless or whatever but it’s so taboo I just don’t think Bill would think to do that.

(Gif by @/randofandomtrash)

well, then it’s just Techie and Bill. Techie tells Bill to kill him, saying he doesn’t want to win and that he doesn’t deserve to win anyway, he won’t be upset because he knows it’s what Bill needs to do. Bill refuses at first but Techie goes on saying if they don’t fight then they’ll both die so he’d rather one of them win. And whether he choses to just let Bill kill him or actually try to fight back Bill would obviously win either way. So it’s pointless.

(Gif by @/sherrenaz)

but Bill just can’t do it. So he casts a sleeping spell and acts as if he’s killed Techie hoping it works. in my version of the story it does as the fighters did not know, but they didn’t actually have to kill each other. They only had to make it unable for the other to fight.

but if you want to be mean, it doesn’t work and they both die, or Bill does kill Techie and he survives.

anyway Bill is the winner!

(to no ones surprise)

(Gif by @/braveclementine)

But Hux has the most kills.

(as always)

(Gif by @/killawayfanboys)

Bill Weasley (Harry Potter)- 1 Kill, 1 KO

Techie (Dredd)- 1 Kill (Kinda, it was an android)

Armitage Hux (Star Wars)- 4 Kills

Thomas Mcgregor (Peter Rabbit)- 0 Kills

Gabriel O'malley (The Kitchen)- 1 Kill

Tim (About Time)- 0 Kills

Ash Stammer Android (Black Mirror)- 0 Kills

Stensland (Cras Pad)- 0 Kills

Thomas Burberry (Burberry Ad)- 0 Kills

[syzygytailor]

NEW • Exciting first look at Domhnall Gleeson as Ned in 'THE PAPER'! 📰

🔗 Link to USA Today Article

[syzygytailor]

May the Fourth be with you!

little domestic kylux modern!AU in which Hux won't date anyone who his cat Millie doesn't approve of

[syzygytailor]

[syzygytailor]

Kylo Ren in the comlink: General, where the kriff are you??!

Hux on the other side: somewhere between psychotic and iconic

[syzygytailor]

Someone being patient with you on your bad days is one of the softest forms of love

[syzygytailor]

Something new and blue.

[syzygytailor]

we need to kill whoever invented onedrive

[syzygytailor]

It’s me, I’m both people.

[syzygytailor]

TOO LATE TO START WITH YOUR HEART IN A HEADLOOOCCKKKKK, YOU KNOW YOURE BETTER THAN THIS

[syzygytailor]

A friendly reminder from your not-so-friendly 607th medic:

[syzygytailor]

Wreck-It Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)

[syzygytailor]