t-baejoy

[t-baejoy]

50 Stark House Rules and Other Declarations

1. No medieval weapons are to be given as gifts.

2. Rickon and Arya are not to be left in the kitchen together unsupervised. 

3. No dating Baratheons.

4. Do not have sex in the common areas.

5. No climbing onto the roof.

6. No sneaking out to see your SO.

7. No sneaking in your SO.

8. Do not spike the punch at the Christmas party.

9. Under no circumstances are Theon and Robb allowed to babysit.

10. Baby goats and other farm animals are not allowed to be brought home without permission.

11. Threatening to stab someone is not considered polite dinner conversation.  

12. Threatening to have your dog eat someone is also not considered polite dinner conversation.

13. Archery practice is to be kept outside.

14. Please refrain from antagonising CEOs and politicians on social media.

15. Fuck The Lannisters is not an appropriate slogan for your class president campaign. 

16. Fuck The Lannisters is not an appropriate slogan for your Prom King/Queen campaign.

17. It is not appropriate to trademark the term Fuck The Lannisters and try to sell t-shirts, backpacks and sunglasses at school, even if you claim it is for a business assignment. 

18. Murder is not the solution to everything. Use your words.

19. Overthrowing the government is not the solution to everything.

20. Yelling “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me” is not how you should respond to your teacher giving you detention.

21. The dogs are not allowed to sit at the table, even if you have trained them to sit like people.

22. Dropping fake bodies off the roof is not an acceptable way to welcome the new math tutor into the home. Madam Mordane had to go to therapy.

23. The dogs are still not allowed to sit at the table. Dressing them up in ties and button up shirts does not suddenly make them people.

24. Poison necklaces are not to be worn to school or social events, even if you think someone there should die.

25. Fuck The Freys is also not an appropriate t-shirt slogan.

26. It is not appropriate to offer to “top” someone in the cafeteria.

27. Yelling “GET SOME” is not the appropriate response to another family member offering to “top” another student at school.

28. All SOs must keep their shirts on at all times in the house.

29. Please stop threatening to stab people in your Home Ec class.

30. No one in this house believes in the Lord of Light. Do not scare others by muttering names over a bunsen burner in science class.

31. No, you are not allowed to hand in a slideshow compilation of your favourite memes in lieu of an actual assignment.

32. Running off to be a wilding is not a better idea than running off to join the circus.

33. “An outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn” is not a serious answer to give when someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up.

34. Stop telling people that Theon knows where to hide a body. We don’t need another visit from the police.

35. Do not try and put people on trial for “being a slimy dick” at family reunions. It’s inappropriate even if said man is slimy and needs to stay away from your mother.

36. The fact that you yelled at him is not what we meant by using your words.

37. Trading blackmail for money at school is not what we meant when we suggested that you should get a job, Bran.

38. Trading blackmail for candy at school is not what we meant when we said that you should get a job, Rickon.

39. Trading mercenary services for money is not what we meant when we said you should get a job, Arya. 

40. King/Queen of the North is not an appropriate name to write on your tests.

41. Sending Robert Baratheon a card for Father’s Day saying “thanks for being a ho” is not appropriate.

42. Do not wear Fuck The Patriarchy shirts to school. We don’t care if you’ve managed to convince your brothers, your sister and your siblings’ boyfriends to wear them too.

43. Trying to bribe someone to “yeet” your cousin out the moon door is not a nice way to celebrate the end of your cousin’s visit from the Vale.

44. Trying to give your Aunt Lysa a heart attack is not a wholesome family bonding experience. Stop doing it.

45. Do not take your baby goat to school. 

46. Boyfriend of the King of the North is not an appropriate name to write on your tests.

47. Sending Robert Baratheon a card for your boyfriend’s birthday saying “thanks for being a ho” is still not appropriate.

48. Do NOT try and shoot an apple off of someone’s head.

49. Threatening to “kneecap that bitch Jeyne Poole” in the school courtyard is not an appropriate response to someone flirting with your boyfriend.

50. Threatening to “feed that bitch Ros” to your dog is also not an appropriate response to someone flirting with your boyfriend.

[t-baejoy]

Yeah, this is why Dominic Noble has nicknamed her “Fuck You Catelyn Stark” in his “A Dom of Ice and Fire” review series. Book her is...a lot.

I don't like Book Catelyn Tully and hears why.

Please don't kill me for saying this. I simply want to express my opinion on this character and why I don't like her and specifically her book portrayal. It's fine to disagree with me😆, if you like this character good! Continue to love her, I simply want to put my opinion out there.

I was a show fan before I got into the books and I genuinely was excited to read Catelyn's chapters as I enjoyed her show portrayal but by they end of her first chapter all I could think was, 'what did I just read'? And as I got further in my opinion went from 'she's awesome' to 'why are you still hear? You kind of suck.' So these are some of the moments that made me want to hit her.

AGOT

-Not calling Jon by his name ever, and only doing it tell him he should be in a coma and a cripple.

-Making Jon so scared of her that he was scared to be in the room with her, and specifically saying if he was younger he would of run away crying.

-Telling Little Finger and Varys everything after deciding she doesn't trust them. This is before Ned even arrived. You MORON!

- Blanking and ignoring Robb when he beggs her for help. He literally says 'I need you'. Now I'm not saying she shouldn't of been with Bran, Catelyn was a good mother and any mother should and would of been with them. But this is after Lewin told her he will be ok, she still abandons all her duties to Winterfell and to her family which all gets dumbed on 14 year old Robb, who has never done anything like this, has no support network besides Lewin and Theon and also had to become a Dad to Rickon. He's basically beeen thrown to the sharks without being told how to swim. And he's 14! Cat get off your ass and help your child!

-Starting the war of the five kings. And this is after she thinks 'it can't come to war' and 'the north isn't ready'. But let's take the son of the most powerful man in Westeros prisoner. With evidence from people she specifically said SHE DOSNT TRUST!

-Letting Sansa and Arya go in her heart. Not exactly sure what she means by that but it sounds sketchy.

- Not doing the Very important 5 things Ned specifically told her to do to get the North ready for war.

-This technicaly isn't in AGOT but not realising her sister was in love with little finger. And that Lysa was the Tansy her father was talking about. People, she lived with Lysa until the end of Roberts rebellion! And it's known they were close as children, yet she had the nack to realise Little Finger was in love with her. And she didn't realise that her sister was FORCED TO HAVE AN ABORTION! And the effect that that had on Lysa. And I think this really puts in perspective how self cantered Catelyn was as a child and a young adult. Her time in the North may have changed her but not by much.

ACOK

-Having a bear minimum understanding of war time politics. Knowing this most likely, because as a woman she wouldn't of been taught them, and yet still giving Robb advice and it's TERRIBLE advice. And hear for your viewing pleaser is all her shit advice and things she dose in his war councils:

Give up Jaime for only Sansa.

Telling him his terms to the Lannisters are terrible in front of all his councillors.

Not realising the Lannisters don't have Arya.

Continue to berate this newly crowned Robb in front of aaaallllll his councillors who hasn't found his footing yet as a king.

Not realising that if Robb gives up his crown his head will come off with it.

Your welcome.

-Releasing JAIME FOOKING LANNISTER. You utter MORON!!!

This doesn't mean I hate the Starks. Stark chapters are some of my favorite to read and Sansa is one of my favourite characters. Also I want to commend the actress who played her for brining Catelyn to life on screen as she did an outstanding job.

As always have a great day😊.

[t-baejoy]

sometimes I think about the fact that tywin lannister was so threatened by a literal sixteen year old child that to kill him, he had to forsake guest right and trap him in a hall without a weapon or his direwolf. a sixteen year old boy is making the largest and richest army in the land look like a goddamn circus act so you have to take him out when he was eating his supper and drinking his wine

robb stark was really that threatening to the richest, most powerful and most formidable lord in the land. what a guy.

[t-baejoy]

I was looking for this and couldn’t find it, so either Tumblr glitched out or I somehow never reblogged it before.

Mistakes were made.

[t-baejoy]

not-crazy, not-bloodthirsty woman: MARGAERY TYRELL

 not-noble, not-good man: RAMSAY BOLTON

  not-crazy, not-bloodthirsty woman: ROS (show) / KYRA (book)

 not-noble, not-good man: JOFFREY BARATHEON

  not-crazy, not-bloodthirsty woman: JEYNE WESTERLING (book) / TALISA (show)

 not-noble, not-good man: MERYN TRANT

lmao this show is truly the fuckin worst. the women are all crazy and bloodthirsty and the men are all noble and good. i’m over it

[t-baejoy]

That was my perception as well.

am i the only one who thinks jaime isn’t actually planning on joining cersei again? like the general consensus seems to be ‘well there goes his character arc’ but i thought it was pretty clear he was either planning on trying to convince her to not go completely insane or trying to kill her (and will probably end up doing the latter). he just said all that stuff to brienne to make her not want to follow him because he doesn’t want her in danger.

[t-baejoy]

Well, the show's ambiguous on the subject but, in book Canon, his mom's still alive. So it makes sense that most people focus on him being reunited with his definitely-dead loved one.

Afterlife

I know some people are saying that if there’s a GoT afterlife, Theon will be reunited with Robb, and I’m just here being like… who cares, Theon is reunited with his Mom at last. She must be super proud of him, and nothing can separate them anymore. 

[t-baejoy]

Chrys Watches Got [x] / requests for individuals [x]

[t-baejoy]

On Instagram.

Look, alright. That is the most survivable wound to ever kill a person in the world of GOT. Just for an example, Arya was stabbed in the exact same place and not only ran around like it was a papercut but also survived it. 

And you’re telling me Theon-fucking-Greyjoy, IRON BORN prince, was killed by THAT, when he was tortured by Ramsay for years?

This was utter bullshit. 

[t-baejoy]

I think it’s just practical at this point. What the hell else do you do with THAT many bodies. (Though I do think main characters are going to get more proper funerals.)

I don’t understand why they’re going to burn the dead. There’s no Night King, they’re not going to rise again. BRING THE MORMONTS HOME. BRING THEON TO THE SEA.

[t-baejoy]

This is why there’s a part of me that wants to believe there’s still hope. That the battle ended so soon after Theon went down that it was possible for him to get medical attention and pull through. That’s why nobody’s talking about Theon’s death in interviews (and Alfie’s posts are trolling).

Look, alright. That is the most survivable wound to ever kill a person in the world of GOT. Just for an example, Arya was stabbed in the exact same place and not only ran around like it was a papercut but also survived it. 

And you’re telling me Theon-fucking-Greyjoy, IRON BORN prince, was killed by THAT, when he was tortured by Ramsay for years?

This was utter bullshit. 

[t-baejoy]

Meanwhile, in the afterlife...

Theon: *happily runs toward his husband* Robb! Robb! I'm here, I'm dead too!

Robb: First of all, how dare you?

[t-baejoy]

My theory is that he gets tackled by wights that claw at him and you think he’s gonna die, but then, elsewhere, someone kills a white walker and all/almost all of the wights attacking Theon disintegrate.

Ok i know some people already pointed it out but… His armour is clawed. Like, it’s a hole there. We did not see that new look yet. So something is happening in ep3 to theon but i doubt they would have spoiled the way he dies showing his mortal wound around his sigil and heart. What is it? What does it mean? 

[t-baejoy]

Night King: Time to die boy …

Theon: Let me ask Sansa.

Night King: What? This isn’t …

Theon, pointing his burning dragon glass arrow at him: She said no.

[t-baejoy]

...

Now, I want Bronn to be the one to kill Cersei, with that fucking crossbow.

[t-baejoy]

Theon’s love for Robb Stark is reaching Snape-Lily always levels.

[t-baejoy]

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