t-eddystewart - Tumblr blog

[t-eddystewart]

[t-eddystewart]

Do I get one?

Look, I found Valentines’ Day cards. That’s a thing coming up, right? 

[t-eddystewart]

Yeah. I'm pretty talented. My skill is off the charts, I don't even know what to do with myself. 

Wow. You’re the real deal. 

[t-eddystewart]

Yeah. I already did it. You're already hypnotized. Why else would you be talking to me?

Oh really? 

Do it. Do the hypnotizing. 

[t-eddystewart]

Yeah huh. You made it one. {he nods vigorously}

Oh yeah, that's the only way I make friends.

That’s not an actual rule.

You can hypnotize people?

[t-eddystewart]

And neither does the "poor ol' Ted first" rule. 

Maybe I'll just hypnotize you into eating them too.

I think “ladies first” doesn’t apply here.

No. You’re the one who’ll be eating them. 

[t-eddystewart]

You should try it first and tell me how good it feels.

Oh, and it's not yours?

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. 

That is unfortunate, unfortunately your problem. 

[t-eddystewart]

You know what's not fun? Heatstroke.

Too bad they taste like mush. 

No fucking fun. Fine, I suppose we’ll just have to stuff you with hamburgers then. 

[t-eddystewart]

People can totally die, I've seen some loonies. They just pop back up, it's fucking weird. I would really not like to know what a heatstroke feels like.

You can’t re-die here. I think we should try it.

[t-eddystewart]

I think I would re-die of a heat stroke or something if we did that.

How thoughtful. Maybe we can find really big clothes and put them on you and then stuff them with more clothes and pillows.

[t-eddystewart]

Well then I'll eat so many hamburgers I'll explode, just to be Shaggy for you. 

I have been. No, you cannot gain weight in this place, I think you’re pretty safe. Though it would be quite hilarious to see you blow up like Squidward. 

[t-eddystewart]

Well... you've been pretty honest thus far. Can you gain weight in this place? Because if you can that would be a really bad idea for me. Have you seen the Spongebob episode where Squidward eats a bunch of Crabby Patties and he gets enormously fat in a ridiculously unrealistic amount of time? Yeah, that's me.

I could lie to you someday, better to be safe than sorry. Though I would probably still be sorry. Now all you have to do is eat like fifty hamburgers a day.

[t-eddystewart]

[t-eddystewart]

Did you just admit to being a liar? I'll take your word for it. Alright, I'm Shaggy.

Would I lie to you? Never mind, don’t answer that. Yes, it looks that similar.

[t-eddystewart]

Is it really that similar? I can't remember exactly what his looks like. 

It’s the hair.

[t-eddystewart]

Alright, then it's understandable. One question though; why am I Shaggy?

Like the never shutting up. Fine by me, Shaggy. 

[t-eddystewart]

Tina needs friends too. 

Promise not to bring that sex doll anywhere near me and things will be grand.