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Can we find a sun god or diety from every timezone and make a map of them all?

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i love illegal immigration like yes bitch get in here

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I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

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happy "closer to 2050 than 2000" day everyone

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i have made like 57 reddit throwaway accounts in my life because my only use for reddit is to login once a year to pose niche questions to a sub i assume is compromised of mostly autistic dads desperate to impart their knowledge upon anyone who will listen. when i got my first fisheries job the equipment list my boss sent me just said “knife.” i emailed back asking what kind of knife and he replied “any knife.” i got on reddit and went to some sub about fish and i said “i got a hatchery job in alaska. what knife do i need for multipurpose use. a knife that does it all.” one guy responded in ten minutes breaking down everything about knives & salmon work. gave me a better idea of my job than the interview did. then he recommended a single knife and like twenty other people replied after him “this is the correct knife. no notes.”

bought it. pretty good knife, no notes.

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It's funny how american guys who got "73% Scandinavian" in a mail order DNA test once will be like "I have Viking blood coursing through my veins, I'm a natural-born warrior and I've got +5 poison resistance and I'm immune to frost damage", while the average Norwegian guy is just some guy named Lars who works in IT, rides a bicycle to work, and looks like this.

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From Thud! Now, English isn't my first language, but I'm pretty sure that this has more than one meaning -

Ha ! Mr Patrician of Ankh-Morpork here thought he could get away with calling Vimes hot if he hid it in the middle of a speech.

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From Thud! Now, English isn't my first language, but I'm pretty sure that this has more than one meaning -

Ha ! Mr Patrician of Ankh-Morpork here thought he could get away with calling Vimes hot if he hid it in the middle of a speech.

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

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hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

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oh ok

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Ancient egyptian: I wonder what shape we should give our pharao's tomb

The perilously pointy pyramid:

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you cannot headcanon your way out of overt thematic structures on which the entire narrative is built

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gives you a badjob. a weirdjob. doing some unusual shit to your penis.

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I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.