tabithaxking

[tabithaxking]

[ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ?

"I used to dream a lot about the motel where my mom left me, but that happens a lot less now. Now I'm always just yelling at her in my dreams."

[tabithaxking]

What’s the strangest thing you’ve done just to avoid failure?

"I guess it's not my failure, but I never wanted Theo to feel less than anyone when she started school so I worked a few doubles to make sure she had the nicest clothes and all the things she needed without having to ask. As a kid, all my clothes were hand-me-downs and I always had to bum pens and pencils off other kids at school because I'd never ask my grandparents to replace them if I lost them. I never want Theo to feel like that."

[tabithaxking]

Are you okay with not knowing what happens next?

"No? Is anyone okay with that? I've always been one of those people who would absolutely rather know when all the bad shit was going to happen so I could prepare. You know when people ask, like, 'would you want to know when you die?' Obviously, you say yes. I'd want to exactly how and when it happens so everything is all organised before I go."

"And I think that's pretty normal."

[tabithaxking]

Mac was probably right when it came to the smoking. Maybe it was divine intervention. Truly there was no other way she was going to get through this day without sneaking a few cigarettes. Tabitha was thankful that Lucky was on Theo patrol so it could happen.

The ire she felt looking across the room at the woman who birthed her pulsated through her, a ringing forming in her ears. If it wasn't for Macaulay's arm wrapping around Tabitha's, she might have lunged. Instead, they made their way towards the back end of the room, away from prying eyes.

Once outside, Tabitha could feel the air re-enter her lungs. Lucky and Theo were playing off in the distance, likely burning off all that pent up energy from sitting still inside the church for too long. Another miracle that Theo was so far removed from her mother's arrival. Things might get violent if Angelica chose today of all days to introduce herself as Theo's grandmother.

Leaning her back against the brick wall, she sighs heavily. "God, I hate how pissed off she makes me." Without even a word, Angelica has somehow made an already awful day worse. "I was already annoyed that she didn't even bother to show up and now I'm even more fucked off that she actually did." Albeit, several hours late. A fact that would likely continue to stew inside her for the rest of time.

But instead of fixating on her mother and all her various wrongdoings, Tabitha's attention turned back to her daughter. Somehow, Theo always brought her back to center. "Thank you for, you know... everything. I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

( @macaulaymontgomery )

"I think if the universe is handing out excuses to not quit smoking yet, I think you've been given a pretty good one," Mac agrees with a nod of her head.

"And hell, I'll even join you out of solidarity. As long as my brother doesn't manifest out of thin air and slap it out of my hand -- he kinda has a radar for that."

It was generally a no-no, given her kidney situation, but sometimes you just gotta live a little.

Mac's own head turns to follow and lay eyes on the source of the noise, the human reflection of the 😬 emoji featured on her face as she figures out after a beat of recognition that it was Angelica.

"Yeah, let's get you out of here," she confirms, hooking her arm around one of Tabitha's and turning her away deliberately before her mother got the chance to pick her out of the crowd, steering the both of them to the back door.

@tabithaxking

[tabithaxking]

Lucky's words don't put her at ease, but that has very little to do with him. There isn't much these days that doesn't make her overanalyse, it seemed to only get worse as time rolled on.

Leaning against the wall, her hands felt empty without a cigarette pinched between her fingers. Heading outside for fresh air used to be code for having a cheeky one, but there was a bet on the line and Tabitha was determined to emerge victorious. She wouldn't let Lucky see her break, especially as she glanced at him and saw that he appeared to be unfazed.

At first, she didn't quite understand what Lucky meant but when it finally clicked, Tabitha frowned guiltily. The chewing of the inside of her cheek intensified.

"Oh, yeah," she says lowly. The honeymoon phase of her relationship with Keo had made time seem to just speed by. Somehow, updating Lucky got missed amongst the chaos. "Probably should talk about that."

"It's kind of a thing now." Her first instinct is to downplay it, but that doesn't seem quite fair to Keo or Lucky. "Actually more than a thing. He's my boyfriend."

( @luckylewis )

"No drama, no worries. Fingers crossed."

Exiting the congregation of people and taking a swift exit outside with Tabitha was the closest Lucky had gotten all evening to experiencing anything that resembled his actual prom that they had opted to skip.

If not for their wager and how determined he was to win it, striking a cigarette and inhaling would have felt like he had been transported back seven years.

Instead, he presses his foot against the wall behind him and breathes in the (stupid and nicotine free) night air instead.

"So, is it time to circle back to that conversation?" He asks, referring to the brief one that they had put a pin in at her grandmother's funeral regarding her and Keo. At that point in time concern had prompted his question, presently it was curiosity.

@tabithaxking

[tabithaxking]

These weren't the usual hypothetical questions that Tabitha asked herself on a daily basis. Wiping down the counter of the All Nighter, her hand stopped mid-movement to contemplate it further. "I guess it depends," she finally replies. "Do I have to gather the water? Or is it just given to me?"

Her rationale made sense within her head but maybe it needed extra context. "I think I'd act totally differently if I had to climb a huge mountain or hike five miles to get water" she explains, hoping it gave more clarity.

( @itsbrimarquez )

WHO: Anyone! (@aurorabaystarter)

WHERE: Anywhere!

It had been five years since Briseida's critically acclaimed documentary came to the world. After that high for her first release as a filmmaker, she had receded into the shadows. Her father had produced hit after hit with his roster of successful movies. How could she live up to that? Wanting to shake the cobwebs off, she had a concept, but she needed to gauge response and temperament. "Question. What would you do if we were in a dystopian society with rationed water? How would you use a bucket of water a day?"

[tabithaxking]

"Did you have a date?" Tabitha asks, unable to remember that far back. If the theme was to be believed, she probably wasn't the only one who got lucky at their prom.

With a noncommittal shrug, Tabitha certainly couldn't complain about tonight's events. "I'm enjoying myself," she says. Her only complaint is that the music was a little too pop for her tastes, it didn't stop her from tearing up the dancefloor with Keo though. "Theo is with Lucky's dad tonight, probably having the time of her life right now."

"What about you? Enjoying yourself?"

( @thebellamyxcalvert )

"I have a twenty tucked into my phone case?" She offered with a little shrug, figuring it best to be prepared to need to order food. Or buy some sort of drug from someone here if they were selling--it was high school again after all. "I only went at all because I had nothing better to do." Bellamy added, thinking back to that night before she just shook her head. High school was a lifetime ago, it felt like.

"Worse. Casino night." She shuddered as she said it, scrunching up her nose. She definitely needed a drink. "Anyways. How's present day prom night going? Are you on a Cinderella time limit with the kid or do you have a full night off from parenting duties?"

[tabithaxking]

Having never subscribed to that particular notion about fashion, she knew that Ruby did. It was her whole thing and it worked for her.. most days. "I reckon it will," she said crouching slightly to help lift up the heavy material of Ruby's desk as they shuffled towards an empty seat. Bunching it all up in her hands, Tabitha groaned slightly, taking note of how heavy this whole dress must be.

"How's that?" Tabitha asks, taking a step back after Ruby sinks lower into the seat. "Better?"

( @xrubyredx )

“ the price was the ability to move my lower half. I should have kept the receipt “ she joked as she tried to move in a place to get at least comfortable to talk to Tabitha. She adored the woman in front of her for as long as she could remember so she didn’t want to spend the night complaining at her. “ yeah, do you think that would work? I’m willing to try especially if I can finally sit down” @tabithaxking

[tabithaxking]

Tabitha feels the weight of the conversation with her mom settle, growing heavier on her shoulders. It felt exhausting to think of what awaited her back inside, all the fake smiles and small talk. The only upside was knowing that it was what her gran would have wanted. Tabitha tries to make that her main focus, which will be easier to now Angelica has left and Lucky takes Theo home.

It was hard to ask for help, but she is learning to accept it when offered. Lord knows she is going to need it now.

"Okay, thank you." Tabitha gives Lucky a small nod, eyes still firmly on their daughter, how happily she could be on such a sad day. A small, sad smile forms on her lips. "She didn't even try and meet her," she says lowly, "and I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing." An immense sadness swells, thinking of her mother and how Theo will likely never know her. It's not without a good reason, but still.

Happy to have a more positive note, a distraction of sorts, the brunette gives an affirming look. The use of his name as a verb didn't sit right with her. "You won't," she tells him. Tabitha had nothing but complete belief in him, in everything he did, but especially when it came to Mac. Thinking back to Mac's unprompted confession back at the summer carnival, Tabitha's wonders if they've made that leap yet.

At the mention of the other person, she pursed her lips together tightly, almost as if she could hide the feeling of Keo that still lingered there from him. A slight flush covers her cheeks, revealing her answer before she had a chance to say it.

"At some point, probably— but not yet." She knows they will have to, just as he had done with Mac. There were a few more conversations before it got to that point, however. "It's new.. kinda. Like, very new." Technically, in the last five minutes new.

( @luckylewis )

"You're probably right," Lucky says of the likelihood that her mother's appearance would be more than just a one time endurance. He keeps everything further he wants to say about that to himself to save on it becoming Tab's burden to bear.

She couldn't help who she came from or that Yelena's funeral had brought her to town.

"I've got nothing else to do," He reassures, giving little importance to much outside of their daughter and her right now. Everything else felt inconsequential in the face of loss and he would make whatever he had to work if it meant he could make a fraction of it easier for both of them, "Really. It's not any trouble, I want to do it."

Lucky anticipates that in that doing there would come questions that he's never had to answer before from Theo, bigger ones. It's scary like all things were when the potential of messing it up was impossible to ignore but he wasn't scared.

He could handle it.

His head turned as his eyes followed Tab's, the sight of Mac with Theo one that always went straight to his heart. There was little by way of words that he could come up with that could capture what she meant to him at a time like that, so he opts for acknowledgement.

"I know. I lucked out there, I'm doing my best to not Luck up."

( The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. )

He looked back to Tabitha again then, thinking he may have been talking out of turn but it seemed increasingly strange to not acknowledge the surfing Samoan stoner in the room.

"Is the other person you were speaking to a conversation we need to have at some point?"

If it was he was happy to have it and he was happy for her, even if he did have some reservations given the sparse details he knew pertaining to Keo and Lori.

@tabithaxking

[tabithaxking]

Which significant other had the biggest impact on them?

"Significant other sounds fucking weird. I'm not sure Lucky counts as we weren't ever really together like that. I guess, if he did count, he gave my our kid so like.. I guess he'd win. But Keo.. first person I've ever given my heart too like that which is a big deal for me."

( @luckylewis / @keolalagaaia )

[tabithaxking]

What is their favorite memory?

"It's a two-way tie. The first Christmas I ever had after my grandparents took me in stands out for me. My mom hates anything that's "too consumerist" so we never celebrated it and she didn't have any money anyway. I had been living with Nan and Gramps for about 3 months at that point and I think they tried so hard to make it special for me. Gramps dressed up like Santa and pretended to come down the chimney, I didn't know how to tell him I knew Santa wasn't real. It was the first time that I felt like this place was my home. That people cared about me. Loved me without condition or expectation."

"Then when Theo was born, obviously. It was surreal to be holding her after all that time being pregnant and shit scared. I remember feeling how much I loved her so deep in my bones, it physically hurt to look at her at first. And when Lucky and her finally met, I know he felt it straight away too. That little piece you didn't know you were even missing."

( @luckylewis )

[tabithaxking]

🌷 = Is your muse likely to be the one to make the first move, or would they wait for the other to make a move first?

"Normally, I'd say hell no. But apparently I'll make a move if a hot surfer takes me up on the rooftop of a hotel at New Years. I guess you never say never."

( @keolalagaaia )

[tabithaxking]

👀 + what's the hardest part about introducing theo to keo?

"Probably fighting against my own issues about it. Theo knows Keo, they've met dozens of times before when we were just friends. It's just letting her know that we're together like how Lucky and Mac are together. It won't be a big deal to her, but it's a big deal to me."

"I never wanted to be like my mom and introduce Theo to a bunch weird men who didn't stick around longer than a few weeks. It was always only gonna be a one shot deal for me when it came to that so the guy had to be worth it. Keo is more than worth it."

( @keolalagaaia )

[tabithaxking]

Tabitha imagines the scene as Alex describes it, chuckling softly at how her friend plots her mother's demise. "I love the creativity but that would mean actually talking to her," which she'd promised herself and some others she wouldn't do. Especially not after the funeral. "I'm not sure I want to give her the satisfaction of that right now." There was a high road and Tabitha always wanted to be on it where her mom was concerned.

Thankful for the change in topic, Tabitha's smile showed all her teeth before she could pull her face into submission. Alex had called it in the bathroom at New Years, she just hadn't wanted to hope for something that seemed so out of reach. "Yeah, we're official. Boyfriend-girlfriend type deal. God, that's such a high school thing to say," she covers her face to hide the faint blush that colored her cheeks.

There was no doubt that the buzzing of her phone was him. "It's kinda a long story, but I guess you were right at New Years. We kissed on the roof and then went home together." Then came the secret affair, one horrible fight followed by a grand romantic gesture at her grandmother's funeral later. Not to mention the roadtrip-kiss-fiasco. A whole lot fit into just a couple of months.

( @alexandriaxvargas )

“You know what we could do,” she contemplates, her head tilting to the side. “We could take your mom some pasta from work and put laxatives in it, maybe the equivalent to bowel prep.” It was evil, and cunning but not severe enough to do much damage. “Tell her it’s a peace offering.” Although she isn’t serious, Alex hoped she at least cracks a laugh out of her best friend. It was good she hadn’t bugged her, though she wondered how long that would last.

At the mention of Keo, the brunette’s eyebrows raised and she settled back into the couch to get comfier. “Told you he was into you,” she couldn’t wait to get it out. “Are you guys official? Is that him now??” Her eyebrows motion to the buzzing phone. “You gotta tell me everything.” @tabithaxking

[tabithaxking]

Knowing that Scottie didn't have any sage wisdom to share on this particular situation dampened Tabitha's spirits a little. As if the brunette across from her held all the answers she keenly sought. Nothing was ever that easy.

Giving Scottie a sad kind of look over the plume of smoke she blew towards the sky, Tabitha asked simply, "Don't you want to be loved?"

Tabitha knew she did, deep down and despite all the armor she put up around herself. It sounded easy enough for everyone else, falling in love left and right. Tabitha often looked at the people around her and felt some version of it.. but not in the way she knew you were supposed to. Maybe some people got that and other got whatever was left.

The chewing of her inner cheek makes the 'dunno' Tab mumbles barely intelligible.

"I come with a lot more strings than he's used to," and maybe that's why her walls were up. Even if it wasn't as if Theo was a secret to him, eventually, the penny would drop for Keo.

She wasn't able to be carefree and fun all the time, that well would run dry and he wasn't exactly known for sticking around when things got complicated. "I suppose I should just try and enjoy it while I can." Even if she knew it would sting when it ended.

( @scottienolan )

"Well thank fuck, because that's a harder problem to solve," Scottie observes as she pulls her filter back to her lips and takes a long inhale while she listens to Tabitha's explanation.

At her question, Scottie tilts her head in thought and exhales smoke through a curled lip.

"Personally, I've never fucked a guy who was a friend before I started fucking him," she admits with a shrug of her shoulder as she moves to tap into the ashtray.

"It's always been kinda more..I don't know, we both get something out of it. Transactional. Like business. I'm not a big feelings girl."

Or she told herself not to be. She'd seen her mother with too many bruises and scraped knees over men she'd fallen hard for.

"Why are you so sure it's gonna get fucked up? You gonna be doing it or him?"

@tabithaxking

[tabithaxking]

who: @keolalagaaia where: tejas cantina when: mid-march

"Can't tell if I'm just starving but everything sounds fucking delicious," Tabitha's eyes are glued to the Tejas Cantina menu, weighing up all her options. It was nice to finally have something to focus on besides the anxious feeling that brewed inside her.

She was nervous. Gravely so. The idea of a real date sounded much better in theory, a fabulous idea until it became a reality. Now she felt like it was one wrong turn away from disaster.

It took a lot of energy to remain nonchalant, to act unaffected by everything he did. From the moment he'd picked her up from her grandparent's place, held the door open for her, the whole Van Morrison ride to the restaurant; Tabitha had hoped that the fluttering feeling would die down, but it every time he looked at her.. it only multiplied.

"What were you thinking?" She asks, although the question takes one a double meaning when casts a glance towards him. A worried crease between his brow that didn't quite suit him.

[tabithaxking]

i'm not sentimental / but there's somethin' 'bout the way you look tonight / makes me wanna make 'em jealous / i'm the only one who does it how you like.

you better lock your phone / and look at me when you're alone / won't take a lot to get you goin' / i'm sorry if it's torture though / i know, i know / you better lock your door / and look at me a little more / we both know i'm worth waitin' for / that heavy breathin' on the floor / i'm yours, i'm yours.

( @keolalagaaia )