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Do you know that tiktok trend wherein they send a dirty text message to their husbands in public? How would reiner, porco, and zeke react?

Reactions to being sent a dirty text in public [Reiner, Porco, & Zeke]

Reiner

When Reiner looks at his phone to see the dirty message you’ve sent him he’s visibly flustered, with an obvious blush on his face and his brows raised as he reads it. He’ll stop reading the message as soon as he realizes the nature of it, giving you a quick glance that says “later” just so you know he isn’t ignoring it.

Then he just stands to excuse himself for a second except you can tell he’s thinking “act casual, act casual” as he goes. He just doesn’t want people to see him smiling like a fool at what he sees.

Porco

He’s not subtle at all, and doesn’t really care that he isn’t. He looks right at you and winks, maybe even as he sticks his tongue out to give you a little silent megan thee stallion “ahh.” 

The smile on his face will be way too obvious as he texts right back in kind, sitting back in his chair and doing that little “whoops i have a boner in public” leg jiggle. Careful though, your little prank might lead to him trying to take you out to the parking lot to smash in the car.

Zeke

Zeke will know damn well you’re trying to fluster him, so he’d immediately want to do the same to you. He’d read the message and then respond aloud to you with something like, “Is that so?” or “You want that?”

Then he’ll give you a coy smile as everyone looks at both of you, oh how the turn tables. 

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breading 🍞 kink 🥶

you want this loaf baby🥵🥵 i'll fill you up realy good😏😏 gonna make you wheat😩😩

if you were a type of bread, you would be a whole meal ahahha *bites lip*

why the fuck did i write this? no idea but enjoy

warning: no sex, just carbs <3 (my best work yet)

he pulls out his loaf; it’s so thick and bready in his hands. you gasp, wondering how that could ever fit in your mouth.

“fuck,” you breathe as he presses you on the dining room table. he rubs his baguette against your lips, crumbs sticking to your mouth. you could already smell him, you could taste it. you want it so bad that your tummy growls.

he smiles at you, “you want this bread, baby?” his fingers grasp your jaw and lift your chin up so that you’re forced to look him directly in the eyes while he rubs the end on your tongue.

“please, baker,” you cry with your tongue out. you’re so desperate for a taste. “i need you to fill me up.”

he quirks and eyebrow at you, “you’re so hungry for it, aren’t you? so wheat and kneady for me, huh?”

you nod your head enthusiastically, “yes yes, of course, chef, need it in my belly. wanna feel it in my belly.”

his brows furrowed and he parts his lips, “you think all of this baguette can fit in your tummy?”

“yeast, yeast,” you insist, “i know it can. please.”

he stuffs you full of it; you feel the bumps of his bread, you taste everything.

he strokes your cheek lightly, thumb sliding across your skin, feeling the bump made from how big the baguette was. he loves feeling it, feeling how big it is in your mouth.

“you can’t even take it all, can you? cant even close your mouth,” he spits, “so hungry you’re drooling for it.” he’s not wrong at all. you’re sitting on the dining room table with his baguette shoved into your mouth, spit dripping down your chin.

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WHY PORCO HOT. WHY HE GOTTA BE BUILD LIKE A BRICK HOUSE AND GOOD WITH KIDS AND AMBITIOUS AND FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. I WANNA RUIN HIS PRETTY HAIR AND MAKEOUT WITH HIS DUMB ASS.

PLEASE HES SO HOT 😭😭😭 HES BEEFY N CUTE N HAS SO MANY GOOD TRAITS

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I was just thinking about how adorable it is that humans write au fanfiction. Like: Wow I love these two characters and their relationship so much so;

Let them fall in love as mermaids, as spies, as pirates and vampires, in space, in medieval times, in a zombie apocalypse, as hockey players and figure skaters, at a flower shop or coffee shop, the list could go on forever

I like to think of fanfiction collectively as a multiverse where all of these stories happen and they fall in love over and over again in many different lifetimes because I’m a sap like that

Okay that’s all

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It’s me. I’m Reiner. ✋😔

104th Cadet Corps and if they can cook [Modern AU]

Jean: Can’t fucking cook. Like, he will read a recipe once, and go “i’ve got this!” and not question why he thinks adding ¼ cup of baking soda is the right thing to do. He’s that person who leaves one star reviews on recipe websites like “Yeah I subbed out half of the ingredients and doubled the cooking time because I forgot about it in the oven but it’s just not good!” Works out for him tho because then he just ends up eating a lot of fruit and veg cause you don’t have to do much with it. 

Connie: Actually a really good cook, very creative with it too. He’s that person who can have needed to go grocery shopping two weeks ago but somehow throws together something really good with whatever he finds in the back of the pantry. His food is always well seasoned too. 

Sasha: She can only kind of cook,. She can boil pasta and heat up a jar of sauce and that’s the extent of most of her cooking - but she’s someone that has that one recipe they make that is SO good somehow. She brings it to every gathering and you lowkey wonder if they really even made it because it’s that good.

Eren: This motherfucker can’t cook for shit. Lives off of gas station hot dogs and beef jerky. He’s lucky he has a great metabolism and an iron stomach because no one should eat as many microwavable burritos and pb&j on eggo waffle sandwiches as he does. His car is just littered with wrappers and he seems to have a honeybun on him at all times.

Mikasa: She puts stuff like blended up leeks and celery in chili and you’re like “what is the point of this??” She’s just insistent that you get your 5 fruits and veg a day even if it makes no fucking sense in a recipe. Don’t try her homemade spaghetti, the sauce includes 2 leeks, an onion, 3 bell peppers, a jar of chopped tomatoes, celery, zucchini, and peas. Why, sweetie?

Armin: He can get by pretty well in the kitchen, and actually has a knack for cooking. That all goes to shit if someone is in the kitchen with him though, he just needs to be alone playing some music or a podcast to get into his flow. Otherwise it’s like he’s never held a knife before and keeps dropping spatulas and having to pull out new ones.

Reiner: He can cook, but he has to follow a recipe and isn’t good at improvising with it. If he’s missing one ingredient he’s just like “ok well this is probably all fucked.” The kind of person that if a recipe calls for 425g of something and a can only holds 400g, he’ll open a whole other can just to scoop out that 25g. Meal prep is his thing because he only has to be stressed over following a recipe 100% one day of the week.

Annie: One of those people that cooks often and has developed really good knife skills but always under seasons food, smh. She’ll have an onion perfectly diced at sous-chef speed but then serve you dry ass bland ass chicken breast.

Bertholdt: Everything he cooks is absolutely ugly as fuck but tastes so good. Absolute zero on presentation, and 10/10 on taste and love. You’ll honestly want to ask “what is this?” the first time he sets food down in front of you, but once you taste it you’ll never question the slop he offers you again. He’s just great at making food that feeds your soul.

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REBLOG IF YOU SUPPORT BISEXUALS!!

My parents are saying “I need to make my mind up” and I want to prove them that bisexuals are valid

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Porco Galliard NSFW Alphabet

MINORS DNI/18+ only under the cut!

Keep reading

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the warriors teaching you how to drive

snk warriors headcanon

an // this is canonverse

reiner braun

PLS reiner is so STRESSED

he makes sure the car has an oil change, is cleaned, washed, and the break pads are changed before you even hop in

definitely does NOT let you listen to music while you drive

almost passes out when you hit that corner a little too hard

don’t run over a curb or he’ll never ever let you back in the car

his blood pressure is through the roof

zeke jaeger

zeke acts like he isn’t bothered

swears he has years of driving experience and can handle it

will sit in the passenger side smoking a cigarette while looking bored but on the inside he’s sweating

he’s eying that odometer heavy

definitely holds onto the little handlebar

will lose his SHIT if you turn too fast or almost hit something

that’s when you see the cool exterior drop and then he’s yelling at the top of his lungs all dramatic and telling you to stop the car so he can drive back

yeah, don’t go driving with zeke

porco galliard

porco is the WORST to go driving with

constantly yelling out “BREAK” and “STOP”

grips the handle bar for dear life

he’s so scared and will probably make you scared too

tenses up in his seat whenever you pass by a civilian on a bike or something

nonstop screaming if you hit a turn too fast and he’ll make you swerve by panicking so much

do NOT, i repeat, do NOT go driving with this man he will stress you out

pieck finger

pieck tries to be supportive but she’s a little scared

encourages you to try your best

will nervously laugh if you hit a turn too fast 💨

“woah y/n easy on the wheel, yeah?”

“sorry sorry,”

will offer advice as much as she can

she tries, she really does, but if you ask her again she will not get in a car with you lol

annie leonhart

annie is the BEST driving instructor

kinda just sits back and lets you do your own thing

she figures there’s no reason to stress you and stays quiet

corrects you if you make a mistake but otherwise just sits and reads her book lol

she refuses to get behind the wheel and tells you to toughen up if you get scared

just sits there like 😳🧍🏼‍♀️ when you try to park 😹💀

bertholdt hoover

mans is sitting in the passenger side sweating buckets

probably brings reiner with him and those two combined are a NIGHTMARE

tries to help but he’s stuttering too much for it to make sense

reiner is such a backseat driver that bert has to tell him to shut up cause he’s stressing you out

i mean reiner will literally be leaning on the console between you and bertholdt, no seatbelt and telling you how to do this and that

you’ll probably swerve just to get him off your back and bertl will have a heart attack

will not tell you if you did horrible causes he’s afraid of upsetting you

this causes him to be suckered into another lesson cause hey, you’re not that bad right?

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H-hold on😳🤭

Titans are eating humans because they want to go back to their human form

It was so obvious, I just realized that.

Their instinct makes them looking for the shifters among people.

It is so sad.

...

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✨ manifesting 🧠✨

Ugh imagine marcel or porco grabbing your hips and just pounding into you from the back and while slapping your ass 🤤💦🖐🏾❤

MARCEL AND PORCO THREEWAY?? 😩🥵 oof omg i wish we got to see time skip Marcel, Porco is just 😩 THIS MADE ME FERAL

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It’s Jean Louis Kirsten the IV for me

here is a list of what i think the aot characters’ middle names would be

eren asher jaeger

zeke big bitch jaeger

grisha bigger bitch jaeger

carla elizabeth jaeger

levi hash slinging slasher ackerman

madamoiselle kuchel valerie ackerman

sasha marie braus

armin armani exchange arlert

jean louis kirstein the fourth

connie maximillion springer

mikasa ariana ackerman

hange blair zoe

erwin william smith, ceo (thats his legal name)

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How am I supposed to take this fucking exam when all my brain can successfully reproduce is Porco railing me into a new dimension 😐

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i know im late but heres three of my favorite ship dynamics (second part)

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AO3:

Me: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

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If you're ever sad, just remember that Bokuto rang the fire alarm to know how firm he should press it

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i have no idea how tiktok works but i made a tiktok. wanted to share my technique. hope it helps some people

[app: clip studio paint on an ipad]

[final art used in video]