#& you wanna know the kicker? she's going on a vacation. yeah. she's going on a plane right now while badly sick with covid

[pa-pa-plasma]

i'm going to fucking kill someone. i got screamed at & called selfish & stupid for telling my mom to wear a mask. she gave me covid

[icharchivist]

the gbf news for summer is that The Traumatized Lesbian Is Back: For More Trauma and i both can’t stop laughing and also feel sO BAD for her

i loved her event last year but GOD.

So the thing to know is that the gbf summer events are consistently super wacky and got progressively worse in worse year after year. In the first year, you had to hunt down a God Fish. On the 6th year, flying sharks were attacking the island and you had to defend it. 

stuff like that.

Last year we got this event:

of a young woman called Meg who was super normal, like, seriously super normal esp by fantasy standards. 

All she wanted was to go to the summer paradise island Auguste for summer, hoping to meet people there to make friends because she wasn’t really popular. There she kept meeting Mari, a friend from school who was always hanging out with her various boyfriends through the years, though she would invite Meg along. Meg, meanwhile, kept hoping she too would find a prince charming of sort.

But the kicker of this event is that Meg ended up becoming the background victim to every. single. wacky things that happened in all the previous summer events. Have her be attacked by the giant fish monsters or the crabs or be electrocuted by the killer eels (and saved by Albert). Always knowing the Crew was around and being terrified of them because everytime they show up she ends up in pain.

And she met multiple members of our crew that didn’t help her feeling better. Like. she met the ghost girl, how were we supposed to prevent that from happening TwT

So for years she was getting traumatized every single summer.

She tried to avoid the island, but always found herself back to it ever summer, and she tried to avoid the horrors happening there to no avail. She stuck to Mari as she could but YEAH.

so eventually on year 5th she decided fuck it and she decided to train to become “her own prince charming”. (meeting Albert changed her bc of that. He saved her life, and she thought it was what she always wanted, a prince in shining armor saving her... but she felt nothing. And realized that she didn’t want to be saved by a prince charming - she wanted to BECOME that prince that save people)(i also find it super ironical that for once Albert ‘gay old man’ Thunderswift Lord finally was considered attractive for someone BEFORE being considered an old man, it was a lesbian that’d go “i wanna be like you” mlm/wlw solidarity).

And she came back.

And met one of the shark from the shark event who was pretty weak but could control her matter a little... so Meg had her fuse with her arm, and now can summon sharks. (also the shark is called Ursulla and she’s SO CUTE)

And she came back to Mari and did everything to protect her, and Mari meanwhile realized she wasn’t coming back to Auguste for finding boyfriends, but in the hope to see Meg again, and now that Meg had became a “a protector of sorts”, Mari just wants to spend time with Meg, and Meg mentions that all she wanted was to spend time with Mari (LESBIANS.)

(legit though this is Mari’s journal entry:

and that’s a screencap of Mari talking about Meg:

LIKE REALLY LESBIAN.)

Meanwhile, yeah.

that’s what happened to the poor girl.

On the 6th year, there was actually very few drama happening when Meg ran into the crew which was so surprising to her like. wtf do you mean??? actual holidays???? with my girlfriend??? hello??? so now she can be her gf’s prince charming <3

(bottom>up)

ANYWAY I BRING ALL OF THAT UP

because i think about poor Meg every summer, poor girl really has NO LUCK AT ALL HUH.

Well. Next event focus on her again. SHE’S BACK.

The event is called Auguste of the Dead and people are theorizing either zombie or murder mystery and i can’t stop laughing. 

this is so evil Meg will never know peace!!!

let her have vacations with her girlfriend!!! com’on!!!!

So yeah i bring it up because 1) it was legit one of my favorite event, it was so funny, 2) i adore Meg and her girlfriend Mari and i legit cannot wait to see more of them, 3) it is possible that i’ll actually read this event when it’s out so blacklist #ichablogging gbf or #ichablogging summerevent before it happens.

Meanwhile i’ll just think about our sweet lesbian having to go through hell ONCE AGAIN because the paradise island decided to have beef with her and only her.

[wittygaypuns]

#70 & #97 for villaneve

70; Locked in a room

97; Time Travel

BEHOLD. Crack fic prompted through this Fic Mashup list (feel free to send me more, these are fun) Takes place in the same universe as the other Alaska fics I’ve written where VIllaneve have dogs (a male named Carolyn and a female named Konstantin) and got married. Mostly behind a cut because it’s almost 3k words...

“Let's go camping, she says,” Eve half-shouted, “It'll be romantic!”

“Oh my god would you stop, I didn't know there would be a fucking blizzard okay? It's MAY, I didn't think it would happen!” Oksana protested.

“We're in Alaska, Oksana! Check the forecast!” Eve shouted for real, looking back at her as they trudged through whipping winds and biting cold.

“Why did you agree then? Why didn't you say, hey Oksana, you usually make really bad decisions, maybe we go vacation in Hawaii instead? Or book a hotel somewhere and not go out into the wilderness?” She spat back.

“Because every time I tell you you make bad decisions you make it about me and you, you jackass – I can hear it now 'Oh, do you think I made bad decision when we got together?'” Eve mimicked an overly deep Russian accent. She sounded like a villain in a cheesy 90s action flick.

“Yeah, that's probably true.” She conceded, grinning. “Oh! I see something.”

“Is that a cabin?” Eve looked where she was looking, eyes going wide.

“I think so – come on, before it gets any worse. We'll see if they'll be nice to us and let us stay the night because we're stupid and tried to camp...” Oksana began to pick up her pace.

“We're stupid? WE? This was your idea, do not slander me to strangers.” Eve huffed, trying to keep up with her. It was difficult – Oksana was all leg.

“Maybe just a little slander, huh? You love me.” Oksana grinned, taking her arm.

“You're lucky to have me. Anyone else would have let you die in the snow.” Eve muttered, holding on to her; though she was bundled up, Oksana's body was something she naturally gravitated towards. Their dogs, Carolyn and Konstantin, flanked them on either side, on the alert for any wildlife looking for an easy target.

“I wouldn't die. I'd open up a bear and sleep in it until morning.” Oksana said.

“Like in the Revenant?” Eve remarked.

“Wasn't that a horse?”

“Was it? Oh, yeah, he fought a bear and slept in his horse. Man, that movie was fucked.” Eve laughed.

“We should watch it again. So I can remember how not to fight a bear. Just in case.” Oksana nodded.

“You have a gun and I have bear mace.” Eve pointed out.

“We both have bear mace. You insisted. But we could always lose those, and then what? A bear can just fuck us up. Well, I'd have it fuck me up as you ran away.”

“I wouldn't leave you to get mauled by a bear.”

“Yes you would.”

“... Yeah, you're probably right. But only if I didn't have bear mace and the dogs.” Eve grinned as they came to the steps of the cabin.

It was hard to tell if any lights were on, or if it was occupied; it was snowing so hard that it was almost a white-out, rendering visibility next to nothing. As they scaled the steps up to the covered porch it was obvious that it was abandoned and in poor shape. There were two-by-fours blocking the door, and the windows were also boarded off. This did not perturb either of them.

“Can you go in my bag and get the -” Oksana started, but Eve was already leaning up to go through her bag.

“The hammer-pick thing?” She confirmed.

“It's a geological hammer.” Oksana grinned. “See? I told you it would come in handy.”

“Yes, it's handy this one time out of like, the thousands of times you've brought it somewhere. You're brilliant and I love you.” Eve pulled out the tool, and looked to her. “Can I?”

“Please. I love watching you work.” Oksana stepped back, pushing her hood back, shaking off the snow that had layered on top of it. Konstantin shook out her fur, while Carolyn simply sat on the porch, content to be covered. He gave a soft 'boof' at his sister, who moved next to him.

She giggled in delight as Eve started cracking at the boards with the small hammer, jumping a little at the noise of the impacts. Eve yelled as she did it, for some reason; maybe it gave her more power. Oksana did not question her process out loud, always enjoying the destruction that her wife was capable of. She knew Eve wasn't actually upset about the blizzard, or her insistence that camping would be fun; it would have been if the weather had been right, and nothing in the forecast had said the snow would be so bad. A dusting, it had predicted, not the solid curtain they were currently trying to escape. They had been trying to make their way back to the car, but had been turned around at some point – or turned sideways, or upside down. It was impossible to tell. Neither of the dogs were put off by the noises their other mother was making; they just watched with Oksana from a safe distance as she cracked the boards off one by one. Konstantin gave a soft whine, looking up at Oksana.

“It's okay baby. I know mommy is crazy. That's why we love her though, right girl?” She grinned down at the dog, who panted happily at her.

“Mommy needs to get – her – aggression – out! Every now and then.” Eve cracked at the last board, speaking through it as she hammered and throwing her arms up in triumph as it fell to the side, broken.

“Mommy is very sexy holding a geological hammer.” Oksana wiggled her brows at her wife, who rolled her eyes and tried the door... then groaned.

“Boarded and locked. Your turn.” Eve muttered, walking back to her spot.

“I taught you how to do it, though.” She smiled, letting her take the spot between the dogs.

“You're better at it.” Eve smirked, “Besides, I think it's kinda hot, so – get to it.”

“As you wish.” Oksana gave a bow, then moved into position.

As she was wearing what Eve affectionately referred to as 'shit kicker' boots, it was a simple task fireman kicking the door into submission. With one mighty kick, the door cracked and splintered next to the lock enough to be pushed in. It was a chore pushing it in, however – something was behind it. She frowned and put her shoulder into it, trying to push it open. Was someone living in there? Were they about to find a body belonging to some long dead homesteader? How was there something barring the door on one side and boards barring the other? Did someone bar it and leave out a window?

“There's something behind it? What the hell.” Eve muttered, moving to help push the door. “How? Oh fuck, do you think someone's in there?”

“We'll find out, I guess.”

When they pushed it open enough to slip inside, Oksana took the gun from its holster at her hip and kept her head on a swivel. If there was anyone or anything hostile in there, she'd defend her family without hesitation. It was easy enough to make someone disappear in Alaska. The item behind the door was a couch with a heavy oak frame coated in a fine layer of dust. She frowned; judging by how heavy it was, the place was definitely abandoned. Carolyn squeezed in past the two, ears perked. He was a fiercely protective animal, and looked around just as readily as Oksana. Konstantin came in after Eve.

“Eve...” Oksana mumbled, looking back to her.

“What? Did you see something?” Eve looked forward, worried.

“If you're mommy to our babies, doesn't that make me daddy? I thought we agreed that made me daddy.” Oksana asked, grinning cheerily as she moved to check the bathroom and bedroom.

“I never agreed to that. You had that conversation entirely by yourself.” Eve rolled her eyes, untensing her shoulders.

“What do you think, Caro? Am I daddy?” She asked the dog, whose tail wagged at being spoken to. “What about you Konny? Am I daddy?”

“They're just coming to you because you're talking to them, don't take that as confirmation. Now... It looks like the place is empty, right? Let's go lay on that disgusting bed with the dogs and wait out the storm while our stuff dries out.” Eve suggested.

“Okay. It does look pretty gross, but a bed is a bed.” Oksana agreed; the fatigue of walking for an hour in a blizzard was hitting her hard now.

Within a few moments both had stripped out of their outer layers and boots, snow caked items hanging up to dry. Oksana tilted her head as she looked down at the bed. There was no dust on it, or anything else in the room. The quilt was standard cabin fare, heavy and wool, but stained to hell. Making a face, she yanked it off and immediately stepped back. Underneath it there were a number of journals, scattered yellowing papers, and knife that looked vaguely ceremonial. It was stained black with old blood.

“Oh, wow. So the former owner of this place was a crazy person researching something, I guess.” Eve mumbled, looking at them as well.

“Great. Lost in a blizzard and in a crazy person's cabin.” Oksana muttered, a feeling of foreboding gripping her belly. She went to retrieve her gun.

“They're probably long gone, baby. We don't really have an option to go anywhere else right now, not with the storm, so let's just... clear this off and get some rest, right? We checked the whole place, there's no one in here. Leave your gun there, help me clear this. The dogs would be freaking out if something was wrong.” Eve reassured her. She had followed her to where the gun was stashed, a hand placed over hers.

“... Yeah, I guess. Isn't it weird there's no windows in this room, though?” Oksana mumbled, uneasy.

“This room would get sun blaring into it during polar day.” Eve pointed out. “Our bedroom doesn't have them either.”

“Okay okay. I just have a creeping feeling, you know? Maybe I'm just tired.”

“Wanna keep it on the nightstand?” Eve offered, looking to the gun.

“Yes please.” She nodded quickly. Having it nearby would reassure her.

Shoving the strange feelings down, she placed the gun on the nightstand and went to help gather up the detritus on the bed, frowning as she looked at the papers. They were all written on, front to back, or drawn on. The paper was not actual paper, as she had assumed before, feeling more like some sort of fabric. None of the words were written in a language she could understand – and she could read and speak seven different ones, and had been slowly attempting to teach herself Inupiaq since moving to Alaska. Languages had always fascinated her, so to come across one she didn't recognize easily...

“What language do you think this is?” She asked, hoping Eve might have some insight.

“Kinda looks like runes.” Eve was examining a paper of her own.

“Like – viking stuff?” Oksana asked.

“Well, something from that time period, I guess.” She chuckled, shaking her head. “Or aliens wrote it.”

“Don't joke about that. Aliens freak me out.” Oksana stared at her.

“Don't think about it too hard, baby.” Eve smirked, tossing her pile of papers and journals to the floor beside them. Oksana added her own. Both looked at the knife at the same time, then at one another. Eve instantly brought a finger to her nose.

“Not it.”

“Damnit, you always get me with that. If I move it and an alien pops out of somewhere, we're going back outside.” She muttered as she took it and tossed it haphazardly to the floor by a corner, not wanting to look at it anymore.

The door suddenly swung shut. Oksana grabbed her gun and moved to Eve's front; the dogs had the same instinct, standing like proud soldiers in front of her. Their ears were up and alert. Eve gripped the hammer-pick, and then gave a sigh.

“I didn't close the front door off. The wind probably pulled it shut. Calm down, my loves, it was just the wind.” Eve said, moving towards the door – Oksana grabbed her arm and grunted at her.

“I'll check, just in case.”

Eve conceded to her extensively-trained-in-armed-combat wife, frowning softly as she crept towards the door. There was no reason to be paranoid, right? Doors closed by themselves sometimes. Wind and pressure did strange things in cabins. Especially old, creepy ones with notebooks full of runes and daggers in the bed. Oksana swore to herself that if she opened the door and found a zombie, ghoul, draugr, or any other sort of beast out there she would never, ever suggest a trip again. All outing planning would be Eve's from then on and she would do them without complaint because, really, Eve would never allow her to live it down. 'Remember when we got caught in a blizzard and had to fight a ghost? That was bullshit, Oksana' – she could hear so clearly.

With a deep breath, she touched the door handle and turned it.

When it opened and she peeked out, her face drained of what little color she had, looking over her shoulder at Eve.

“What is it? Oksana, is there something out there?”

“I... I...” She stammered, whispering 'мамонт'.

“I don't know what that means baby – what's out holy SHIT IS THAT A MAMMOTH?” Eve screamed as she peeked out – Oksana threw a hand over her mouth to quiet her.

“EVE.” She whisper-yelled, eyes wide and horrified.

Eve screamed behind her hand, dropping immediately into an entirely reasonable panic. Oksana squashed her own freak-out to wrap her arms around her wife, holding her tight to keep her from going completely insane right away. She sank to the floor with her, stroking her hair to try and soothe her. Outside the door there was no longer a cabin. Outside the door, the whole landscape had changed. They were tucked into the single room, a room which was now flanked by glacial drifts. In the distance was a wooly mammoth, enormous and red-furred, walking with its mate and young, paying the pair absolutely no mind.

They had somehow gone back in time.

“This is crazy, right? We're not seeing that. There's no way. Absolutely no way.” Oksana whispered to Eve, who was shaking at the implications, mouth still covered as she whimpered.

“Caro, stay!” She yanked her mouth away from Oksana's hand as the dog attempted to creep out.

He whimpered and sat, ears straight up.

“I just – I – close the door. I can't look at that. This is stupid.” Eve shook her head, looking to her.

“Yeah...” Oksana mumbled, leaning up to get the door.

“So we're in a time traveling room? Like the Tardis but super shitty?” Eve mumbled, eyes just as wide as hers.

“Or we're buried in a snow drift hallucinating while we die.” Oksana suggested lamely.

“Either way this is... pretty awful.” Eve said.

“What are we gonna do?” She asked.

“I... Well, we have each other, our dogs, and some supplies. I guess we're gonna just... have to figure this out, right?” Eve said.

“Can we take a nap first? I think my brain is fried.” She whined in response.

“Oksana.”

“Okay, okay... Time for another adventure, huh?”

“And, Oksana? You're never choosing our vacations again.”

[siriuslycollins-blog]

Want You Back - Ulysses Klaue

“Ugh, I can’t keep doing this with you, it’s the same old thing every single time and I am fucking tired of it!” Selena Hawkins screeched at her fiancée Ulysses Klaue. Once again the 22-year-old caught her fiancée cheating on her, finding the evidence when a message popped up on his phone while he was in the shower. Selena didn’t mean to go through his stuff but she was curious; Ulysses was coming home later than usual, refusing dinner when she worked her ass off in the kitchen to fix his favorite meal, his hushed conversations over the phone late at night, and the kicker, a pregnancy test that definitely was NOT hers. “Baby, angel, princess, I promise I have no idea who that woman is,” Ulysses pleaded, lying right to her face, even with the pregnancy test in her hand. “Then why the hell was there a fucking pregnancy test in our trash can?! Don't fucking lie to me!”

But Ulysses ignored her and asked, “are you sure it’s not yours? We’ve going at it for weeks.” Selena wanted to smack the piss out of him but instead threw the stick at him and headed toward their shared bedroom and pulled out a suitcase from the closet. “What are doing? You’re not leaving are you? We’re engaged, did you forget?” Selena ignored Ulysses, stuffing clothes into her suitcase and zipped it up. She found an old school backpack and stuffed more clothes in it, her toothbrush, skincare products and put it in the doorway with the suitcase and finally took off the Tiffany Soleste engagement ring and sat it on the bedside table.

“Not anymore we’re not. Consider yourself single.” Selena was surprised herself as the words left her mouth; whenever she caught him cheating, she never thought she could go through with leaving Ulysses, she loved him too much for that. No woman in her family ever left their cheating partner, not her aunts, cousins, grandmother, even her mom, and she knew her mother would disapprove. Mrs. Hawkins would encourage Selena to work it out, give him time to grow. Selena did all of that, twice now, and still has yet to see any kind of growth or maturity with Ulysses and she didn’t know how much more she could take.

Selena considered Ulysses the love of her life, she wanted to marry him, have his kids, and he promised her all of that. She thought he was the one, that much she thought when Selena was barely nineteen; Ulysses said he would give her anything she could ever want or need if she held him down, and she accepted.  “Baby, you can’t mean that.” Selena booked a flight back to her hometown, New Orleans and reserved a room at a hotel in the French Quarter. “I’m serious Ulysses, I’m tired of doing this with you. You keep saying you’re gonna change and then go right back to cheating again.”

At this point Ulysses was on his knees in front of her as she tried to leave the room and he wrapped his arm around her legs. “Get off me! The fact that you have the fucking nerve to cheat and you wanna cry? Bullshit!” Selena kicked him off her and dragged her bags to the living room of the Paris penthouse they once shared; she didn’t care if it was late, she couldn’t spend one more second with him so she rolled her stuff to the elevator. “We’re done, Ulysses.”

The elevator door shut and Selena was out of his life forever

6 months later

“YAASSS BITCH, FUCK IT UP,” yelled one of Selena’s best friends Andrea. They were in a night club in Sicily Italy and Selena was getting her life to the YG song Big Bank with her other two friends Kennedy and Sasha; they were cutting up on the dancefloor as Drea filmed them for Snapchat and Instagram, hyping them up as they twirled their hips to the beat of the song. Six months ago, Selena broke up with Ulysses, and like she suspected her mother and every other female in her family went off on her, calling her heartless for not giving him a chance to prove himself. Her aunts and cousins considered her lucky to even have a man like Ulysses, he had money, lots of it and he wanted to spend it on all her. What more could she possibly want? 

But the thing is, Selena was a rich bitch before Ulysses and she’ll be one after him, she didn’t need him for money, she could buy as many Chanel bags and Louboutin heels she wanted and it still wouldn’t break the bank. The song ended and the DJ played a Post Malone song so she sat down where a waiter brought drinks to their booth. Kennedy and Sasha slid in on the other side. Selena sipped her lemonade sangria as she noticed a cute Italian guy wink at her and whisper to his friend. “So girl, six months free of Ulysses. How’s it feel?” Drea asked.

“It’s actually... nice. I didn’t think I would like it as much,” Selena admitted. When she told her friends that she left him, they were super supportive and ready to throw hands with Ulysses and the bitch he cheated with but she stopped them; Selena didn’t want anything more to do with him and she was pretty sure Ulysses’ men would shut that down quick. In the weeks after the breakup, she moved back into her dad’s Garden District home, holed up in her room and cried until she got sick, and that’s when Andrea, Kennedy and Sasha stepped in and  told her to pack because they were going on vacation and it worked wonders. They partied it all over the world, and after a two week break back home they went to Italy and Selena was back to her old self. They even documented their excursions to show to their family when they got back. 

This was their last trip before they went home for good, so Sasha suggested Italy after learning that Italian men loved black women, and the bitch was right. For the past two weeks, they were waited on hand and foot by gorgeous Sicilian men, given free bottes of wine, jet skiing at Cefalu beach. Selena was in heaven and on the second night in Sicily when she was still a little upset about Ulysses, a guy named Nikolai fucked the little sadness she had out of her and that was it. No more thoughts about Ulysses late night wondering what he could be up to. It was getting late, nearly three in the morning and the club closed at four.

“You deserve to be happy boo. Just be glad you didn’t marry him. That would’ve been a messy ass divorce,” Kennedy said. “Yeah, I know. I would’ve been divorced in my early 20s with a baby,” Selena laughed as she finished off her drink. She still wants to have kids one day, but that could wait; right now she was living her best life with her friends and she was enjoying it. They weren’t very drunk so they walked back down the street back to their hotel, laughing about high school memories. What Selena didn’t know is that she had a surprise waiting on her.

Ulysses Klaue was in a van along with three of his men waiting on Selena to come home from the club. He arrived in Sicily this morning and spent most of the afternoon trying to find her but failed, checking every hotel and villa in the area to see if she was guest, but no one under the name Hawkins came up. He was about to give up and go back home when he heard her laughter, and there she was, going down a side street. The building the four girls went into was on Cefalu beach, and waited a minute before he followed suit. There was a man at a computer behind the counter in the lobby and went up to him.

“How may I help you this evening sir?” the concierge man asked with a thick Italian accent. “Those girls that came in a minute ago. What room are they in?”  “Le belle donne? Sono molto belle,” the man said pointing to the bank of elevators a few feet away. “Yes, yes, they’re very pretty, but what room are they in?” Ulysses was getting impatient and he wanted an answer now.

“Unfortunately sir, I cannot give you that information as it is confidential, unless you are with law enforcement.” Ulysses knew what to do and he pulled out a few hundred Euros, the equivalent of almost four hundred dollars in American money. “Would this be enough?” The man behind the desk looked in both directions before answering and sliding the money towards him. “Room 15C,” he said and went back to typing.

Ulysses took off, eager to see his girl after all these months. When the elevator opened up to the fifteenth floor he took off until he found room c; it turns out that the room wasn’t under Selena’s name, it was under her friend Andrea’s. He pushed his ear against the door and Ulysses could hear the popping of a champagne or wine botte and giggling. It was now or never; the love of his life was on the other side of this door. He took a deep a breath before knocking.

“Who is it?” someone yelled from the other side. “It’s maintenance! Here to check the air conditioning!” There was some shuffling before they unlocked the door and a girl that wasn’t Selena opened the door. “Maintenance? At almost four in the morning?” He wasn't going to comment that they were drinking alcohol at almost four in the morning, he just wanted to look for Selena. 

He pretended to check the air conditioning unit for problems, wondering how long could keep up this charade. “Hey, you look pretty familiar. Have we met before?” Andrea, the girl who answered the door asked. They did meet before but only once, way back when Selena had bought him home for the holidays in the early days of their relationship. “I don’t think that’s possible. I live in South Africa.”

“What’s going out here?” Selena asked as she exited the bathroom. She was wearing a satin pink lingerie night gown that stopped at her thigh and her hair was pulled into a bun on her head. She was in the bathroom doing her skincare routine so her face was still damps with products. “Oh, just the maintenance checking on the air condition.” “Well, we didn’t ask for maintenance at almost four in the morning, so sir, you can come back later today.” 

His time was up and he closed back the unit and turned to face her. The man with the tattoos on the side of his head and she could feel the shock on her face. “Ulysses, what the hell are you doing here? How did you find me?” This had to be some kind of dream, Selena was sure. Maybe she was a little too drunk and this was a hallucination of repressed fantasies and memories; there was no way he could be here, right? 

“Angel, I miss you and you know I love you.” Did his dumbass really think he could just waltz on in after six months of hard work to get back to herself? She pretended to ignore him and turned to Andrea. “Anyways, I was thinking that before we leave, we should try going to Ida’s, some of their stuff is cute,” Selena said, typing on her phone.” Andrea was just looking at her friend like bitch you know damn well you see this nigga in our room. “Selena, you do know your ex fiancée is here right?” Andrea was sure that Selena lost her mind.

“Yeah, I know. I ain’t tell him to come here though.” Selena still hasn’t looked at Ulysses and in truth, she was scared, scared because if she looked him in the eye, that she would break down, ruining months and months of hard work to get back to herself. “Selena, please, I’m sorry. Believe me.” Andrea was beginning to feel uncomfortable so she excused herself, talking about going for a run on the beach. When she left, Selena let Ulysses have it, not giving a damn if she deserved her neighbors. 

“Are you out of your fucking mind?! What made you come all the way to Italy? Just leave me the fuck alone! I don’t give a damn if you miss me, I said what the fuck I said when I said I was done. Get the fuck out of here.” Ulysses was heartbroken, he was sure that she would break after the first month and come back to Paris, that after it was all over they would get married and have kids, just like he promised her. Then one month turned into two, and two turned into three and so on, and Selena still wasn’t back. She had changed her number, moved back to America and everything was quiet. Not even her mom’s side knew where she was, as she wasn’t particularly close to her mother.

“Baby, I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry for that, but I don’t want to be without you. I can’t be without you. I want you to come back.” Ulysses really loved this woman, more than anything else, more than he wanted revenge against the Black Panther. “I can’t do that. How do I know you’re lying? And what about the kid?” He knew that this question would pop up and he was excited to reveal that it wasn’t his. “Kid’s not mine and I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”

Selena loved Ulysses, even after six months, but how could she trust him? She didn’t want to do this, not now, not when she was just starting to get used to not having him in her life. “Ulysses...” “Look, I still have your ring,” Ulysses said fishing his pockets for the Tiffany engagement ring. He held it out to her and got down on bended knee. 

A second proposal. “Ulysses, it’s not just the cheating, it’s the missions. You’re gone for months at a time and when you leave I don’t know if it’s going to be the last time I see you, and you’re already a wanted man by S.H.I.E.L.D.” This was another reason why Selena left, she was always worried about Ulysses whenever his missions took him out of whatever country they were living in, not coming back for months on end with short phone calls at night. His line of work was too dangerous and she couldn’t stand the thought of getting a phone call from one of his men saying that he was captured by the government or worse, dead. She wouldn’t go through it, and it gave her heart palpitations every time he walked out the door.

“With the money from Ultron, you shouldn’t have to do this at all. I need you home.” He promised he’d do whatever it takes to get her back, and he would not break that promise. “For you? Anything, please just come home.” He sounded so sincere, and she couldn’t find any hint of a lie when she looked in his eyes; she didn’t want to throw away three years of dedication and she didn’t want to start over with someone else. He was still down on his knee with the ring still in his hand, looking up at her. 

“If you ever do this shit again, I will leave you.” Ulysses slipped the ring on her finger before picking her up and spinning her around. “I promise, you have me.”  

[richard-the-boy-wonder-blog]

I was tagged by: @rebel-eds , thanks for giving me something to do B 💓

1. last drink?: Shitty imitation coffee. 

2: last phone call?: my mommy.

3. last text message?: "okay mommy" you can only guess who i sent it to.

4. last song you listened to?: Best Friends by Grandson. (Its a banger beatbi suggest everyone give it a listen)

5. last time you cried?: Thusday night last week.

6. dated someone twice?:  Yes, and i was mistaken both times.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: I kissed a guy who only kissed me to date my mom.

8. been cheated on?: Yeah actually, and the kicker was that it was an irl relationship between me and this person and they cheated on me with someone from across the country... So.

9. lost someone special?: Not really?

10. been depressed?: Oooooh boy.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?:  Story time! Ive been black out drunk, once. I invited my current bf over for some video games (we had been dating for like a month maybe) and i thought "boy imma get stupid and put the moved on him" drank 2 things of box wine to myself (1 box is equal to 4 glasses of wine lol) ended up getting sick really fast and left my bf to watch my younger 2 siblings while i threw up. Thats all i remember. (I think i also tried to shave my legs?)

Fave colors

12. Green (every single shade)

13. Black, like oil black so its not as dark.

14. Like a dusty brown yellow color.

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?:  I think so? I hope so cause theres alot of people on here i just recently met that im already considering my friends.

16. fallen out of love?: Yes... Honestly its the saddest feeling in the world.

17. laughed until you cried?: I did that last night over the fact i said i wanted to become a professional hotdog juicer.

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Yeah, im a snoopy bitch.

19. met someone who changed you?: Oh yes, some of them were for the better, but this one person im thinking in particular... I wish he would stop.

20. found out who your friends are?: Yeah actually, i moved and alot of the people i considered "friends" started talking crap, and alot of the people i just considered stuck up for me.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Does my mom count?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: Like a solid 80% of them, others are people i briefly met at cons or whatever.

23. do you have any pets?: I have 2 kitties! My sisters fat cat Juno and my demon Leia.

24. do you want to change your name?: Not really, i feel like ive got a pretty cool name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I cried and threw up on myself lol.

26. what time did you wake up today?: 8:46 am i remember because i wooe up amd the first thought i had was: "if i dont get up the carrots will attack."

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: Editing my fic and watching School of Rock.

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: I have a sad life thats going nowhere so i have nothing to look forward to.

30. what are you listening to right now?: California Dreamin' by The Mamas and Papas.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: I worked for a guy named Tom. Tom was an asshat.

32. something getting on your nerves?: The fact that im not aloud to sing or dance around the hoyse anymore.

33. most visited website?: Tumblr lol.

34. hair color?: I had purple hair before i dyed it brown, so its kinda like orangy brown with a tint of pink.

35. long or short hair: This is a hard question because my hair is a mega floof. So it looks short but when i flat iron it its fairly long.

36. do you have a crush on someone?: Honestly.... I think so.

37. what do you like about yourself?:  Im not a huge fan of my outsides (my appearance) but i love my insides. I think im hella funny, and goofy but i know im not very pleasant to look at. But thats okay ☺

38. want any piercings: I already have my snake bites and 2 holes in each ear, but im dying to have my bellybutton, eyebrow, and either my nipples or tongue done. (Maybe a double helix UGH i dont know)

39. blood type: i think im AB positive?

40. nicknames: Jae, JJ, Jada, Scoob, scooberndude, bug, beb, moose, little angry one, you.  

41. relationship status: Taken.

42. zodiac: imma Capricorn.

43. pronouns: I mostly go by They/them, but im okay with her/she too.

44. fave tv show: Ive re-discovered 'Dan vs. Everything' and im in love.

45. tattoos: ive got 4, 1 on my left arm, 2 of my right. And one on the back of my neck (i should just face reveal and show them honestly i get asked about them so much)

46. right or left handed: left handed (imma diamond in the rouge)

47. ever had surgery: GOD NO.

48 . piercings: Yep like i said before. Ove got 6, my snake bites and 2 in each ear.

49. sport: I USE to play baseball amd hockey. (I was also on a roller derby team if that counts)

50. vacation: I haven't been on vacation since i was 8.

51. trainers: No.

more general

52. eating: I was told that you should drink water 20 minutes before eating, because dehydration can feel like hunger. I started doing that like a week ago and ive eaten maybe 4 times since 😂

53. drinking: Water 😎 (hydration is sexy, yall should go get some)

54. im about to watch: myself post this amd regret it.

55. waiting for: my mom to get home so i can come put of my room.

56. want: More records.

57. get married? After some consideration, probably not ever gonna happen.

58. career: i dunno yet, i just know i wanna go to film/art school!

59. hugs or kisses: keeses 😙

60. lips or eyes: The eyes.

61. shorter or taller: i dont really mind either, evidentally though its always tall because im short as fuck.

62. older or younger: Still doesnt really matter to me, as long as they aint a pedo.

63. nice arms or stomach: Arms, because i love being held.

64.  hookup or relationship: a relationship where you pretend not to know each other and "hook up"

65. troublemaker or hesitant: im not really either? Like im not very shy, but im not so far out there that i get in trouble.

66. kissed a stranger: Thats how you get hepatitis.

67. drank hard liquor: Yes, i still would but i get hella nervous about it (im a stoner not a drinker eeeeh)

68. lost glasses: yep! Thats why i dont have them now.

69. turned someone down: Not really. No one has ever asked me out before :/

70. sex on the first date: im a hoe and proud, but this is a major no no.

71. broken someones heart: i think so... But they broke all of me first.

72. had your heart broken: Ive had alot more than just my heart broken.

73. been arrested: Yes i was arrested when i was 9.

74. cried when someone died: Ive been crying over David Bowie for 2 years now, yes.

75. fallen for a friend: This is the only way i can get into a relationship

do you believe in…

76. yourself: Yes! I can do the thing!

77. miracles: Sadly no, ive never had one happen for me.

78. love at first sight: Kinda? Like it starts out as "i wanna punch your face in" at first site, and THEN i fall in love.

79. santa clause: yes because my papa is santa.... I seen it.

80. kiss on a first date: i always barf if someone tries to kiss me on the first date. (Not because it grosses me out but because i got bad anxiety lol)

81. angels: Absolutly because all my friends are angels 💓

82. best friend’s name: I... I dont have one? (Does my twin count? Her name is Dawn)

83. eye color: Green!

84. fave movie: Probably Pretty in Pink.

85. fave actor: Lesie motherfucking Jones! This girl is amazing, she went to an art school in Colorado for a basketball scholarship and ended up in theater and on SNL instead. I aspire to be cool enough to earn my way onto SNL.

I should tag some peepes: @trashmouthmissy @spaghetti-head-eds , @thegreatwhiteferret , @beepbeepbongoboyy , and anyone else who wants to do this can and tag me saying i tagged you 😎

[beingmyownhxro]

tagged by: @alexdanvers-rp​, thank you! ^-^ tagging: @leadershiipskills​ / @fossilis​​, @marsdin​, @i-am-diana-of-themyscira​, @emblemofxfeminism​, and anyone else who wants to~ RULES:  answer the questions & tag some blogs you wanna get to know better !

A  -  AGE:  22 B  -  BIRTHPLACE:   US C  -  CURRENT TIME:  1:04am D  -  DRINK YOU HAD LAST:  pepsi E  -  EASIEST PERSON ( OR PEOPLE ) TO TALK TO:  offline i don’t really have a “can tell them anything” person at this time. online there are and ofc here’s where i get super duper shy since they’ll actually see this. but I have a really easy time talking to ashleigh, elysian, ren, sam, robin, and val. i really love this rp community everyone is so nice ; w; F  -  FAVORITE SONG:  i’m having trouble deciding, but i think i’m gonna go with demi lovato’s “let it go.” (the other contenders are idina menzel’s “let it go” and “libérée, délivrée” [movie version] by anaïs delva YES THAT’S LET IT GO IN FRENCH DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT) G  -  GROSSEST MEMORY:  it’s really fricking gross so i’m gonna put it under a cut at the end to save those of you who understandably do not want to see it. it’s from when i was working in the care field and involves a lot of feces. H  -  HORROR YES OR HORROR NO:  horror no. I  -    IN LOVE?:  does my crush on katie mcgrath count lol J  -  JEALOUS OF PEOPLE:  occasionally i get a little bit jealous of my sister, who’s always gotten really spoiled since she’s the baby. sometimes she gets jealous of me too since i’ve always been given more independence, so it’s just normal sibling stuff. K  -  KILLED SOMEONE:  do bugs count L  -  LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I WALK BACK BY AGAIN?: i think you can get a crush on someone right away, but i don’t think it’s LOVE when you know nothing about them. M  -  MIDDLE NAME:  rose N  -  NUMBER OF SIBLINGS:  1 O  -  ONE WISH:  i really really really wanna be a good therapist. P  -  PERSON YOU CALLED LAST:  my mom Q  -  QUESTION YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED:  it’s not exactly one consistent question, but people regularly mistake me for 14. like when i ask about jobs in person and the person tells me i need to be at least 16 to work there. or when i saw atomic blonde yesterday (r-rated so 17+) and the ticket cashier looked skeptically at my ID for like a solid minute searching for signs that it was fake. and i say 14 specifically because i’ve been told multiple times “you look like you’re 14″ or had my coworkers asked “is she old enough to work here she looks 14.” R  -  REASON TO SMILE:  lena and my awesome threads and friends on here. :> S  -  SONG YOU SANG LAST:  “happy” by marina and the diamonds T  -  TOP 3 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS:  elsa from frozen, lena luthor, and maria torres from trama team U  -  UNDERWEAR COLOR:  ummm white with pandas on it V  -  VACATION:  my trip there was a research project more than a vacation (though i still got to do tons of fun stuff), so i hope someday i can go back to japan as a proper vacation. and i wanna go to disney world sometime. definitely disney world. W -  WHEN’S YOUR BIRTHDAY:  december 17 X  -  XRAYS:  i got a ct scan a few years ago as they were trying to figure out what was causing the sudden horrid pain in my side/back. that was “fun.” it wasn’t anything serious though. (though i had 3 separate men ask me if i was sure it wasn’t period cramps like jfc) Y  -  YOUR FAVORITE FOOD:  it’s a family recipe so nobody’s gonna know what i’m talking about lol. i guess the closest thing to it would be lasagna. it’s made in a casserole dish, and the top layer is ground beef mixed with tomato sauce, then cream cheese + sour cream + cottage cheese + green onion mixed, then egg noodles on the bottom, put in the oven for an hour at 350 F. but we almost never have it because there are so many steps and it makes so many dishes to wash. Z  -  ZODIAC SIGN:  sagittarius

okay my grossest story under the cut, as promised. you’ve been warned.

so this was at my old job, like i said. it involves one of the residents, who was occasionally incontinent (both types -- but it normally wasn’t an issue as she wore adult diapers) to begin with, getting a stomach bug and having diarrhea. she was also blind, so while she was mobile, she wasn’t able to see to clean things up. and her developmental disability was such that she didn’t have a very clear understanding of a lot of things. so you can already guess how fun this day was.

it started off with me doing all her laundry and cleaning the carpet of her bedroom. which wasn’t that bad. but then my coworker, who didn’t clean a single thing in that entire time, decided that this woman really needed to take a bath.           now, quick context. this woman, as i said, was incontinent sometimes to begin with. there had been an incident a couple of weeks ago where as she was taking a bath -- which she can do unassisted except for washing her hair (which she could probably do except she won’t, but she lets us) -- she had a bowel accident during her bath. and proceeded to continue with the bath as though nothing had happened. that wasn’t during one of my shifts so i don’t know why, but yeah, so that happened.          i told my coworker that it was a bad idea -- i thought we were going to have an even more horrid repeat of that incident. she said that no, the woman needed a bath, and i said, more emphatically, “if she tries to take a bath, she’s probably going to have an accident.” the woman tended to take long baths and on this day was having diarrhea bowel movements pretty often. my coworker insisted it would be fine and the woman really needed a bath. now the thing is, someone like my coworker or i could easily get out of the bath and to the toilet if that were us. but it was hard for the woman to get in and out of the tub and to find the toilet to begin with, and add to that the other factors......

sure enough, some time later i hear the woman calling for me from the bathroom. now, thank god she didn’t have an accident while she was in the tub, but she had one as soon as she got out. she felt super bad about it but obviously it wasn’t like she could help it. she said she needed help to get out of the bathroom because she didn’t want to step in it. so i helped her out and to her room and to get dressed, gave her some water, and she went back to sleep. the bathroom was shared with another woman, so i let that woman know that i needed to clean the bathroom and it might take a while so if she needed to use the bathroom she should use the other one. with that, i grabbed a roll of paper towel and cleaning supplies (incl rubber gloves obviously, and a trash bag) and went to see the extent of the damage and get cleaning. to be clear, my coworker did not help me at all. or even offer to help. or even bring me more paper towel when i asked mid-cleaning.

IT WAS HORRIBLE. the next paragraph will continue with the story, so stop reading this paragraph if you don’t want the details. for starters, it was more yellow than brown. actually it was roughly the color of puke. i have somewhat of a phobia of puke, so that was super fun. it was also liquid. i mean LIQUID. it clearly had fallen where she had been standing and splattered into an enormous puddle. virtually the entire surface of the floor was covered. it was on the cupboard under the sink. it was on the bathtub. it was on the wall. it was on the toilet paper. it was on the toilet seat. utterly nightmarish.

but the cleaning needed to be done. i put on some music from my phone -- normally my coworker plays her stuff on the radio and i don’t play my own stuff, but i was like, y’know what i’m cleaning this up by myself she can deal with my demi lovato playlist -- didn’t breathe through my nose, and tried not to think about it too much. i just held on to the fact that i was doing this to help the residents who depended on me and the other staff to take care of them, and hey at least it wasn’t vomit.

i’m a fast worker, especially at cleaning. it took me two hours.

bonus points that the other residents kept like asking me stuff and trying to talk to me while i was doing that cleaning??? which is fine normally -- they’re the first priority, so if i’m doing the dishes or something else that can wait, i didn’t mind pausing to talk to them; some of them have trouble understanding that if we’re in the middle of something and can’t talk at that time, we’re not ignoring them, so i tried to make the time when i could. but uh, this was a special set of circumstances. now you’d think my coworker could’ve handled those things, but no, she was busy playing candy crush or something on her phone.

the real kicker is that after i got done, my coworker left early for no reason (not for the first time) and had left everything from dinner on the table and counters, and told me like 5 other things that needed to be done by the end of my shift. i spent the time between then and my next shift trying to convince myself not to quit until i found a new job -- i’d already been looking for new jobs anyway. but guess what? my supervisor was there and chewed me out because my coworker told her that I made HER do all the work. because my coworker had to make dinner by herself. i hadn’t been going to tattle to our supervisor but since my coworker did that i flat out told my supervisor that she had made dinner alone because i was spending two hours cleaning up diarrhea in the bathroom by myself, and that every single bit of the diarrhea messes all shift i had cleaned up by myself with no help from my coworker.

my supervisor didn’t care and continued to scold me. i handed in my two weeks’ notice the next day. that was too much.

yes, i’m still hella pissed about that.

[moonfacecrybaby-blog]

Self reminder (jus feel like ranting)

To never EVER go on vacation with someone who has little Earth in their chart. 😭I have never been so baffled at the lack of planning and inability to make a decision based on common sense, holy fuck. All of my female Scorpio friends are boy crazy as fuck and are willing to ditch their friends at the first sign of possibly hanging out with a guy but my Scorpio friends both have earth moons so they still get all of their ducks in a row before making a move but this bitch (who I met through my Taurus best friend who went too) is a Libra rising and Aquarius moon... let me tell you why that's the most annoying shit tho. The Libra rising makes her beautiful and charming and good at being fake as hell which is the PERFECT mask for a demon Scorpio lmao. She swore up and down during the planning of the trip that she's been wanting to hang out with us forever and misses us and couldn't wait to have a girls day- even going as far as to rent a car! What a friend right? Wrong the fucking Scorpio had been planning this all along because she has some Taurus boy toy down in that direction and she just didn't want to go alone. And then here's the kicker.. she took the car and left me, my 9 month old daughter, and the other female stranded at the beach for hours while she was like a 30 minute drive away at the guy's house, and didn't give one fuck because she's an Aquarius moon with her own agenda. 😒Then we finally met the loser and he looks EXACTLY like the husband of hers that she's currently divorcing... moral of the story is, sun and moon in the 8th people need to start listening to themselves because WE KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE FEEL WHEN WE MEET PEOPLE! I'm just also a Pisces moon so I try to blind myself so I won't see the bad in people. The first time we hung out I was scared as hell but didn't know why and then ever since that day she's brought so much drama to my life without so much as a twitch of sympathy for anyone smhhh. I find it so interesting though also because the Taurus female that went with us is also an Libra rising, Aquarius moon. Sun sign astrology is real bro because they have the same emotional responses internally and greet the world in the same way but they're differences in sun sign flavors it. The Taurus girl uses her Libra rising to nurture everybody honestly, it makes her less reserved as a Taurus and I guess the double Venus makes her hella selfless but almost everything she does is done for the good of the whole group. She pays attention to the needs of everybody around her and she always uses her Aquarius moon to come up with great ideas that benefit everyone, yeah her sun is in the 8th house so she lives on the edge so people judge her but I like that she still cares about the safety of others before her desires. The Scorpio on the other hand 😒😒😒 (lmao I know I sound like I'm hating on Scorpios but it's actually one of my favorite signs 😂) she uses her Libra rising to make people think she's nice and then acts like such trash secretly. Everybody has a fake side but hers is malicious and selfish and that's shit I just can't deal with. I wonder what house her sun is in? Whatever, it just kinda makes me mad because the Taurus girl gets judged for her openness with her fast life and sexuality but is an AMAZING person to friends and strangers but the Scorpio dresses modest, wears glasses, and has adorable little curls so nobody realizes that she's been orchestrating their Dmn demise the entire time! The same kinda thing literally happened last month when we went to hang out with some guy friends and ended up waiting in the car forever so she could fuck one of the guys, which would have been no big deal if we had planned this and it wasn't almost 4 in the morning. I guess I just hate when people have no problem inconveniencing others for their own desires. Also, another thing my female Scorpio friends have in common is that they have ZERO respect for Gemini males lmao (funny because my baby's father is a Gemini and he got his heart broken by a Scorpio earlier this year lmao). They literally hate them yet a lot of Gemini guys have big dicks (in our experience 😂) so they literally just use them for sex and talk behind their backs smh so it's even more annoying that the guy she left us in the car to fuck was a Gemini and she started talking shit as soon as she came back. 🙄😒saying how she'll never take a Gemini seriously and shit.. then why you was so hype about spending time with him??? Bruhhhhh see this rant about to be even longer cause I just have too many thoughts on this now. 😭😂 like also, back to the boy craziness! This bitch acts like she's sooo mature and above everybody but you should see her dumb ass when she's about to see a boy. 🙄🙄🙄 she literally starts vibrating and gets giddy as hell and starts talking soooo fucking much which is the worst icing on the cake to me. Don't keep rubbing your bullshit in my face after pissing me off. Ironically, she was talking about Taureans yesterday because her sister is one and was like "I don't get why you guys never say how you're feeling! Like I can't read your mind so why y'all never express when y'all mad?" And then her behavior yesterday literally answered her question. Taureans like fun but we don't like fucking drama but it seems like Scorpios BREATH drama so while we're trying to keep the trip stable, this bitch is flying around life not making and iota of sense! And what do taureans do when shit stops making sense? We sit our asses back, shut our mouths, and endure until the ground is stable again. That's why when she got back we were quiet the rest of the trip because like.. anymore surprises? We HATE surprises. I guess that's why Taureans get quiet during emotional upheavals? Me and the other Taurus were BOILING but we shut our fucking mouths when she came back around because opening our mouths to talk while in extreme emotion makes oUR VOICES COME OUT UNINTENTIONALLY LOUD AND FULL OF HATE BECAUSE YOU KEEP THROWING SHIT OUR WAY AND WE CAN NO LONGER BREATH THE EXTREME NEGATIVITY THROUGH OUR NOSES! WE DONT TALK WHEN YOU'RE UPSETTING US BECAUSE WE DONT WANNA BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE REALLY THIS TRASH SO WE SHUT UP AND GIVE YOU CHANCE AFTER CHANGE TO CORRECT YOURSELF THEN BLOW THE HELL UP WHEN YOU KEEP RUBBING IT IN! I know it sounds childish to not say what you're feeling but we just expect everyone to have common sense and KNOW as a fucking adult what's rude/stupid/nonsensical, so we sit our asses back and reevaluate our relationship with you. It's something air dominants don't really understand though because my sister is a Gemini sun, Aquarius moon (ugh I'm surrounded by Aquarius moons 🙄) and she didn't believe that I was actually having contractions and took forever to take me to the hospital when I had my daughter because I wasn't showing any emotion when I'd tell her I was in pain and wasn't saying much. My baby's father is a Gemini sun and Mercury and he literally rambled through our daughter's birth and has to talk while she's getting shots because he gets through high levels of any feeling through distracting his mind with random words. Ugh I actually love it because you know when you've made him nervous when his rambling Gemini twin starts coming out even though he's a Scorpio rising who likes to portray himself as all dark and mysterious 😂. Anyways! Taureans just prefer to lay low and endure.. until it gets real, then the rest of your chart comes out. Like when I was having contractions, I quietly endured them the whole time like a Taurus... until it was time for her to come and they got worse so the Pisces moon came out! I like the description of the moon sign being who you are when you need your mother." I literally started reaching for my mom, everyone else in the room faded away, and I kept whining to her and asking "is there any drug that can knock me out so I won't have to live through this pain?? I don't want to live though this. I don't want to experience this." While shaking my head, attempting to wake up from that nightmare 😂 I'm literally an escapist in the highest form! I find it interesting that my moon house also played a big part because I remember during the contractions that I was being a Pisces moon and trying to imagine myself in the place I'd rather be and I closed my eyes and imagine myself in a casket, and then I felt like that wasn't enough and I imagined myself burning I hell and was slightly satisfied lmao the 8th house moon is such a trip. *Sigggh* but leave it to an Aries MC person to be this annoying and off subject during a rant but whatever, I've accepted that I'm nothing but a Taurus sun version of Kanye West. 😂 But I only have "fun" friends I don't have "emotional outlet" friends so I have nobody to talk about my suppressed rage to. 🙃

[reviewsbykarla]

TRL: Frazier Season1 Episode 21

So Sadie has been watching Frazier forever and always talks about it and I’ve always thought it sounded funny but I’d never seen it. She recommended this episode in particular so this is where I started the show. Right off the bat, confusing. Is Frazier sophisticated? I needed to know so I texted Sadie, I didn’t want to spoiler anything for me but I couldn’t figure out how I felt about Frasier without knowing. Sadie said yes, he is sophisticated. So moving on, Frazier and this dude who looks like him but looks more like Patrick Michael hall (what’s his name? He’s in modern family), are arguing about drainers dad.

Basically Frazier decides to take his dad to Europe but then his dad says no, I wanna take a Winnebago across America. My question is: how does Frazier get all of that time off from work? You can’t just drive across the country all Willy nilly. Second question: how did his brother end up joining them? He also has unlimited vacation? What kind of family is this? 3. Did they already own a Winnebago? If not, how did they acquire one so fast?

Anyways, they end up in Canada and the Irish lady freaks out. Oh yeah, some Irish woman hangs out with them, but I have no clue who she is. So she is illegal in America and freaks out when she finds out she’s in candida cause she’s not supposed to leave America. Her friends tell her she was napping when they crossed the border.

Now, how does this make any sensse???? 1. You need passports to go to Canada. Maybe not back then but that’s no justification for 2. How did the border patrol not wake up Irish lady from her nap? One time I got stuck at the border and they woke up my friend who was sleeping in the back seat so they could verify her identity. Seems like logical, standard practice. And that brings me to 3. Wouldn’t they check EVERYONES IDs? Not necessarily passports but just plain old IDs? Again, standard practice for border security no matter what decade imo!

here’s the kicker: Frazier and niles dad tricks the border security into thinking that they were smuggling a jack russel terrier across the border. Dad calls the dog out from some hiding place and shows the border man a picture of the dog with the Seattle space needle. I found this to be rather funny because I know a jack russel terrier that lives in Seattle.

Overall, I think I need to watch frasier from the beginning to really appreciate it. That’s not saying I didn’t enjoy this episode but I was a little lost at some point with more questions than answers. I did laugh a bit so that’s always nice. Lots of plots holes.

**** 3/5 stars ****