#&& incendiary remarks; demon answers

[brothersgrim]

kane && seth rollins, maybe, probably, particularly thanks to authority!era

i have so many of these in my screencap folder. this is about half. you gotta hand it to seth, he's determined if nothing else!

[ayuuria]

Yashahime Translation: Mantan Web Interview

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Hanyō no Yashahime: Matsumoto Sara, Komatsu Mikako, Tadokoro Azusa, the “Three Princesses” Voice Actresses. Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru’s daughters, Keeping in Mind Inheritance

“Hanyō no Yashahime”, the TV anime that follows the activities of the daughters of Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru from Takahashi Rumiko-san’s popular manga, “Inuyasha” (Yomiuri TV, Nippon TV, Saturday evenings at 5:30, certain regions excluded). Sesshōmaru’s twin daughters, Towa and Setsuna, and Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, Moroha; the exhilarating story of these “three princesses” as they rampage the setting of the feudal and modern eras. This as well as the secret behind the three princesses’ births are gradually being revealed and the cause of the mysterious event has drawn interest. Matsumoto Sara-san, the role of Towa, Komatsu Mikako-san, the role of Setsuna, and Tadokoro Azusa-san, the role of Moroha, are all part of a generation that became fascinated with the world of Inuyasha when they were young. On top of playing the roles of Sesshōmaru’s and Inuyasha’s daughters, we asked them what sort of hereditary traits they each keep in mind, their thoughts on each other’s acting and the work.

The Charms the Three Princesses Inherited from Their Parents as Well as the Cuteness of 14-Year-Old Girls

[There is a paragraph explaining what Yashahime is and what not. However, we all know it so I skipped it]

— What did you think when you found out that a new story to the Inuyasha world, “Hanyō no Yashahime” was going to be produced?

Matsumoto-san: The shock was huge. That the characters I grew up watching as a child had kids… First, I wondered how they were born (laughs). I wondered what sort of things they inherited.

Tadokoro-san: I was really surprised. “Inuyasha” was a work that was wrapped up very beautifully, so to think there would be a continuation, a new story. I loved the work, so I was overjoyed that the story of Inuyasha was being carried on. Above all, Sesshōmaru had kids, but with who……? I thought (laughs). I was looking at the character designs like I was lapping them up.

Komatsu-san: I was also shocked that it would be a story about Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru’s daughters. As someone who read and watched “Inuyasha”, I felt nostalgic and a lot of excitement and joy that I could touch the Inuyasha world all over again.

— What do you keep in mind as you play the daughters of Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru?

Matsumoto-san: In regards to Towa, during the audition, sound director Nagura-san (Yasushi) told me not to be conscious of her father, Sesshōmaru, and “I don’t want you to make her too boyish”. At that moment, my internal plans fell apart and I thought “Oh crap…”. And so, the current Towa is the result of me struggling with nothing on me. Towa gradually gets used to the feudal era, so I was careful not to make her too cool or decisive at the beginning. No matter what experiences she’s had, she’s still a 14-year-old middle schooler, so sometimes you can see a little girliness and I make sure not to forget that that is part of her core.

— Has Towa ever been conscious of her parents?

Matsumoto-san: As the story progresses, I’ve begun to realize that that part is really complicated. I think Inuyasha fans would love it if there was a nuance where you could feel the parents, but unfortunately, Towa doesn’t know her father or mother, so I don’t think about forcibly bringing out that nuance. Concerning the result, I would be happy if they can think that she’s similar to Sesshōmaru or her mother. Unlike Moroha and Setsuna, Towa alone grew up in the modern era, so she gets told by Setsuna and Moroha, who grew up in the feudal era, “You’re too weak” or “Being too soft is no good”, but she tries to accept those views. She’s gentle at her core, so there’s a sense that she has her mother’s blood and I think she’s a child that people will say “She really is just like that person.

— What about you Komatsu-san who plays Setsuna?

Komatsu-san: What I was told during my audition was that she’s Setsuna at her base but sometimes she shows the side of a 14-year-old girl. Also, she will gradually become more affectionate from being with Towa and Moroha, so please show that cuteness is what they said. At the auditioning stage, I couldn’t imagine how Setsuna would show her affection, so I was worried. Getting into the actual recording, starting around episode 2, Nagura-san told me “Remember NariKen-san (Narita Ken who voices Sesshōmaru)” … …

Tadokoro-san: That’s hard… …

Komatsu-san: Setsuna doesn’t really know Sesshōmaru either and her memories are gone, so in that state it’s like she inherited the blood somewhere. I put into my acting the calm and collectedness she inherited from her bloodline as well the calmness she developed from the environment she grew up in and something like the resolve to keep living. I believe this is the shape of the current Setsuna. It’s just that there is still the fact that she’s a 14-years-old, so I think she’s a child that realistically displays the swaying of the heart. There are a lot of scenes where Setsuna falls silent from watching Towa’s way of life before her eyes, so I keep in mind that she’s probably thinking it over first and processing things in her own way as I act.

— What about Tadokoro-san who plays Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, Moroha?

Tadokoro-san: I imagined Inuyasha-san’s unique way of sitting like a dog during the audition. The light footwork that can allow him to move immediately or rather, the constant lively movement of his body like an animal is what I kept in mind. That hasn’t changed even now. Moroha makes a living constantly fighting to earn money and I thought I can’t underestimate her, so I play her thinking that she lived her life speaking in a rough incendiary way to make herself look big. When asked about Moroha’s upbringing, even though she leads an unrewarded life, she’s very bright and cheerful. I think that strong heart and not getting too disappointed resembles her parents.

Characters Whose Voice Actor’s Personality Is Mixed In

— Have you ever been influenced or stimulated by each other’s acting?

Matsumoto-san: The first documents I received was a character design done by Takahashi Rumiko-sensei and a simple correlation diagram, so I wondered what would become of each of the characters when they received a voice and become an animation. However, when recording started and I heard the two’s (Komatsu and Tadokoro) voices, I was like “Ah, I see!”. I had to make sure I didn’t cause trouble for the two of them in anyway…

Komatsu-san and Tadokoro-san: No no…… it’s the same for us (laughs)

Matsumoto-san: There’s so much I can receive from the two of them every episode. For scenes where Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha split up, we record separately from Tadokoro-san, but there’s a lot of things I can get from listening to Tadokoro-san’s voice before I start recording. It’s something like “If they’re having her act like that, then maybe I should do something like this” every time.

Tadokoro-san: During the audition, I auditioned for the roles of the other two besides Moroha, but to be honest, I couldn’t picture their voices even as I acted. When we actually recorded together, it felt as though I saw the answer like “Aah, it can only be this!”. Towa seems unable to fit into either the modern or feudal eras so to say, and she’s a very shaky character so she periodically makes remarks that are off. There, because of (Matsumoto) Sara-san’s straight and honest acting, I can tell that Towa acts on her own beliefs. Towa is a difficult role to play, but you could say Sara-san’s personality is mixed in.

Komatsu-san: Just as Koroazu-chan (Tadokoro-san) said, Sara-chan’s personality comes through. Towa has a sharp appearance and a boyish impression but she’s actually very friendly. She could probably survive in any era. I think it’s because Sara-chan herself is friendly and has strong communication skills.

Matsumoto-san: That makes me happy.

Tadokoro-san: Komatsu-san’s acting of Setsuna too, I think “Sesshōmaru-sama really comes through. Wow!”. I know this because I played Setsuna during the audition but a woman incorporating (the role of Sesshōmaru) Narita-san’s (Ken) acting is very difficult. Komatsu-san expresses Setsuna’s 14-year-old cuteness and her affectionate cuteness while bringing out the strength that she inherited from Sesshōmaru. I think it’s Komatsu-san’s skill that brings out that broadness in Setsuna (laughs).

Komatsu-san: Moroha inherits from Inuyasha and Kagome too. I think this is something that only Koroazu-chan can do. Moroha has Inuyasha’s crudeness and Kagome’s strong heart and suppleness so I think “This is Moroha!”. Koroazu-chan’s lightness and mischievousness come together and make Moroha even cuter. If she becomes a girl that only inherited Inuyasha’s crudeness, I think it would be difficult, but Kagome’s cuteness and strength comes through. Setsuna is able to let Moroha’s foolishness slide. This is “Koroazu magic”.

Matsumoto-san: It’s a wonderful magic.

Tadokoro-san: That makes me happy.

Komatsu-san: Even when I’m acting, I can feel that Setsuna is changing due to being influenced by the other two. To Setsuna, Towa and Moroha are people she loves. Not to mention the three of them are blood relatives. (laughs)

The three princesses that Matsumoto-san, Komatsu-san, and Tadokoro-san play give off charm as the new heroines of the Inuyasha world while inheriting the blood of Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru. The three princesses’ comical dialogue, exhilarating battles with demons, and the secrets of their birth that will gradually be revealed. You can’t take your eyes off the story going forward.

[bountyofbeads]

Trump attacks local leaders as he visits two cities grieving from mass shootings

https://wapo.st/2OLb3Qr

Trump attacks local leaders as he visits two cities grieving from mass shootings

By Ashley Parker, Philip Rucker, Jenna Johnson and Felicia Sonmez | Published August 07 at 8:43 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted August 7, 2019 9:50 PM |

EL PASO — On a day when President Trump vowed to tone down his rhetoric and help the country heal following two mass slayings, he did the opposite — lacing his visits Wednesday to El Paso and Dayton, Ohio, with a flurry of attacks on local leaders and memorializing his trips with grinning thumbs-up photos.

A traditional role for presidents has been to offer comfort and solace to all Americans at times of national tragedy, but the day provided a fresh testament to Trump’s limitations in striking notes of unity and empathy.

When Trump swooped into the grieving border city of El Paso to offer condolences following the massacre of Latinos allegedly by a white supremacist, some of the city’s elected leaders and thousands of its citizens declared the president unwelcome.

In his only public remarks during the trip, Trump lashed out at Sen. Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Dayton Mayor Nan Whaley, both Democrats, over their characterization of his visit with hospital patients in Dayton.

“We had an amazing day,” Trump said in El Paso as he concluded his visit. “As you know, we left Ohio. The love, the respect for the office of the presidency.”

Trump also praised El Paso police officers and other first responders and shook their hands, telling one female officer, “I saw you on television the other day and you were fantastic.”

El Paso and Dayton were not merely the latest in the multiplying series of American mass shootings. The carnage in El Paso is being investigated as an act of domestic terrorism, with parallels between a racist manifesto posted minutes before the shooting and the president’s own anti-immigration rhetoric.

This has thrust Trump into the center of a roiling political and societal debate, with some Democratic leaders saying the president has emboldened white supremacy and is a threat to the nation.

Former vice president Joe Biden, who is running to unseat Trump in 2020, said in a speech Wednesday, “We have a president with a toxic tongue who has publicly and unapologetically embraced a political strategy of hate, racism and division.”

Both in Dayton and El Paso, Trump kept almost entirely out of public view, a marked break with tradition, as presidents visiting grieving communities typically offer public condolences.

Trump avoided the Oregon district where the shooting in Dayton took place, and just a short drive from Miami Valley Hospital, which he did visit. Whaley said he would not have been welcome in the Oregon District, where scores of demonstrators congregated, holding anti-Trump signs and chanting, “Do something!” a call for stricter gun laws.

Brown and Whaley described the visit by the president and first lady Melania Trump in favorable terms.

“They were hurting. He was comforting. He did the right things. Melania did the right things,” Brown told reporters. “And it’s his job in part to comfort people. I’m glad he did it in those hospital rooms.”

Whaley added: “I think the victims and the first responders were grateful that the president of the United States came to Dayton.”

Both Brown and Whaley, however, were also sharply critical of Trump’s divisive rhetoric and Republican resistance to gun-control legislation.

Whaley later responded to Trump’s comments about her and Brown by calling him “a bully and a coward.” She said on CNN, “It’s fine that he wants to bully me and Senator Brown. We’re okay. We can take it.”

The traveling press corps was not allowed to observe Trump’s visit with three victims who remained hospitalized. It fell therefore to White House aide Dan Scavino to proclaim in a tweet that Trump “was treated like a Rock Star inside the hospital.”

Trump and the first lady also met with police officers, fire officials, trauma surgeons and nurses at the facility, which treated 23 victims of the shooting. The hospital invited victims who had already been released to come back and meet with the president and first lady.

“It was an authentic visit,” hospital president Mike Uhl said, praising Trump as “attentive, present and extremely accommodating.”

Trump offered his own affirmation on Twitter: “It was a warm & wonderful visit. Tremendous enthusiasm & even Love.”

White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham said journalists were kept out of the hospital visit because staff did not want it to devolve into “a photo op” and overwhelm the victims with media.

The White House, however, distributed its own photos of Trump smiling for pictures with first responders, along with a slickly produced video, helping make the president the center of attention.

Trump’s reception in El Paso was less hospitable, and not only because so many local leaders have said they believe his rhetoric inspired Saturday’s slayings at a shopping center near the U.S.-Mexico border. Although he won the state of Texas in the 2016 election, Trump captured just 25.7 percent of the vote in El Paso County, the worst performance recorded here by a major-party presidential candidate in at least two decades.

An ever-growing makeshift memorial has sprouted near the shooting scene that features piles of colorful flowers, a row of white crosses, a line of prayer candles, as well as messages to the president. “Mr. T, Respect our sorrow and grief. Do not ‘invade’ our city,” reads one note, a reference to Trump’s repeated warnings of a migrant “invasion” at the border.

Just before Trump arrived in El Paso — where he and the first lady met with first victims and their families at University Medical Center and with law enforcement personnel at an emergency operations center — several hundred people gathered in opposition to his visit.

Congregating under the hot midday sun in a baseball field for an “El Paso Strong” event, some held homemade signs. “Go home! You are NOT welcome here!” read one. “This was Trump-inspired terrorism,” read another. “Trump repent,” read a third.

At one point, the crowd chanted, “Send him back!” — a nod to the incendiary “Send her back!” chant about Somali-born Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) at one of Trump’s campaign rallies last month.

“We feel like right now we should be in mourning, and we feel like we should be collecting our thoughts, we should be doing vigils and we should be gathering together as a community. We believe it is an insult that the president is coming here,” said one of the organizers, Jaime Candelaria, a 37-year-old singer and songwriter.

Rep. Veronica Escobar (D-Tex.) said onstage, “In this moment, someone is visiting … I felt it was important that we come together and not focus on the visitor, but focus on El Paso.” She added, “We will not stop resisting the hate! Resisting the bigotry! Resisting the racism!”

In the crowd at the El Paso Strong event was Shawn Nixon, 20, a Walmart employee who was at work restocking the school supplies area when the gunman opened fire Saturday morning. At the sound of the shots, Nixon said he fell to the ground, pulling with him a young child who had been shopping with his mother.

“All I’m just asking for Donald Trump, for the president, to do is to say ‘sorry,’ ” Nixon said. “He created this crime. He created it because of his words. Every time that he’s on TV, that’s what he’s doing.”

During his flight home from El Paso, Trump attacked Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-Tex.), the twin brother of presidential candidate Julián Castro, tweeting that he “makes a fool of himself every time he opens his mouth.” The congressman has come under scrutiny for publicizing a list of San Antonio donors who have contributed to Trump and accusing them for “fueling a campaign of hate.”

On Saturday in El Paso, authorities said, a man opened fire inside a Walmart, killing 22 people and injuring 26 others. At 1:05 a.m. Sunday, a gunman killed nine people and injured 27 others outside a bar in Dayton, police said.

All week, Trump has zigzagged between two competing instincts: Unite and divide.

In the immediate aftermath of the shootings, Trump remained cloistered at his golf club in Bedminster, N.J., issuing only short statements on Twitter. Back at the White House on Monday, the president delivered a scripted speech in which he preached harmony.

“Now is the time to set destructive partisanship aside — so destructive — and find the courage to answer hatred with unity, devotion and love,” Trump said, reading from Teleprompters.

The president did not heed his own advice, however. Late Tuesday night, he took to Twitter to attack Beto O’Rourke, the former El Paso congressman running for president who has said Trump bears some responsibility for the shooting there because of his demonization of Latino immigrants.

Trump tweeted: “Beto (phony name to indicate Hispanic heritage) O’Rourke, who is embarrassed by my last visit to the Great State of Texas, where I trounced him, and is now even more embarrassed by polling at 1% in the Democrat Primary, should respect the victims & law enforcement — & be quiet!”

Then, as he departed the White House on Wednesday morning en route to Ohio, Trump told reporters he would refrain from attacking his adversaries during the trip.

“I would like to stay out of the political fray,” the president said. Asked about his rhetoric, he said he thinks it “brings people together” and added, “I think we have toned it down.”

That detente lasted only a few minutes. Answering a reporter’s question about Biden, Trump pounced. “Joe is a pretty incompetent guy,” the president said. “Joe Biden has truly lost his fastball, that I can tell you.”

By the time the president had left Dayton, he was back on Twitter and sniping at Democrats, a tirade triggered by his consumption of cable television news aboard Air Force One.

“Watching Sleepy Joe Biden making a speech. Sooo Boring! The LameStream Media will die in the ratings and clicks with this guy,” the president wrote.

Then he lashed out at Brown and Whaley, falsely accusing them of “totally misrepresenting” the reception he received at Miami Valley Hospital. He alleged that their news conference immediately after the president’s visit “was a fraud.”

But neither Brown nor Whaley said Trump received a poor reception at the hospital.

When Whaley first saw Trump’s tweets criticizing her and Brown, she paused for a moment to read them on a cellphone and said, “I don’t — I mean, I’m really confused. We said he was treated, like, very well. So, I don’t know why they’re talking about ‘misrepresenting.’ ”

“Oh, well, you know,” the mayor added with a shrug. “He lives in his world of Twitter.”

Parker and Johnson reported from El Paso, and Rucker and Sonmez reported from Washington. Arelis R. Hernández in Dayton and Colby Itkowitz and John Wagner in Washington contributed to this report.

[brothersgrim]

i cannot follow rules but i ship both of them with therapy.

god you're so valid but you'll never convince taker to go. kane goes tho. kane does therapy. but taker thinks he's fine

[brothersgrim]

OLD ASKS JAY IS FINALLY ANSWERING

Anonymous asked: + kane do you ever stop and think about the number of times your brother has forgiven you and wonder if you'll run out of chances one day?

He clenches his jaw and looks away. He doesn't want to think about this. On one hand, why should he be forgiven? That implies he did something wrong. He wasn't wrong. This was revenge. This was justice. 

This was what was right. 

But on the other hand… This was his brother. His (former?) best friend. One of the last parts of his family. The only one who understood. The only one who knew. Could Kane really be without him? Would it be like missing a tumour or a limb? Would it be freedom or a new curse? Kane isn’t sure. 

… 

He shakes his head. 

No, he doesn’t think about it - not if he can avoid it.

[brothersgrim]

OLD MEMES JAY IS FINALLY ANSWERING

@lunarruled asked: "Drabble" - Style for both boys! 

The mirror in front of him is brilliantly, flawlessly clean. His reflection stares back at him, perfectly mimicking his every move. 

That’s good. 

It means it’s behaving. There’s another reflection beside his, and it’s behaving, too. It’s his little brother’s face. And that face is very focused on trying to make him laugh. 

“Knock it off, Kane.” Adam says, trying and failing to pretend he’s not grinning. Kane looks over at him, cheeks still puffed up and tongue still poking out. He stared at Adam. Adam stared at him. Kane released all of his breath in a raspberry. Adam didn’t bother to hide his laughter. 

“You’re so weird.” He said, knocking his shoulder against Kane’s. Kane grinned broadly in response. 

“Get it from you.” He says, and Adam rolls his eyes again. He turns his attention back to the mirror, adjusting his collar again. It’s a common ritual for the both of them, making sure they looked ‘like proper hosts’ in their shared bathroom while Mama and Papa got ready in theirs. Their parents would be here in just a moment. That’s when the More Important Fussing would happen. For now, though, they were left on their own to get their faces washed, teeth brushed, and hair combed. The basics. 

“How many people are coming today?” Kane asked, scrunching his face and tilting his head as he adjusted his hair. “I forget.” 

“It’s Mr. Tucker.” Adam said, leaning into the sink to give his face one last inspection. “And he didn't have kids. But he was working in the church a lot.” Kane hummed a note and nodded. 

“So a whole bunch of old people.” He said. Adam nodded as well. 

“Probably.” 

“‘S good money.”  Kane said and Adam nodded again. 

“Might be able to get you that new bike.” Adam said. He hopped off his stool and away from the sink.

“Boys!” Papa’s voice came from the hall. They both turned to look in unison. “You ready?” 

“Yes, sir.” They chorused. The door opened, revealing their parents in equally formal, equally black attire. 

“Let’s have a look at you.” Mama said, and Papa moved out of the way to give her a better view. She knelt down. Adam stepped forward first, and was pulled into a warm, smooshy hug before being held at arm's length. Mama pursed her lips in thought, licked her thumb, and smoothed it over Adam’s eyebrow. 

“There we are.” She gave an approving nod. “You're such a handsome young man, Addie.” 

“Am I handsome too, Mama?” Kane asked, standing on his toes to stick his head over Adam’s shoulder. Mama laughed and moved aside to let Adam step into the hall. 

“Of course you are, baby.” She said. Kane beamed in response. Mama took a minute to sort out his hair, then gave his shoulders an approving squeeze. “All set.” She said, stepping back and smiling. 

“We ready?” Papa asked, hooking his thumbs in his belt. Mama smiled and nodded at him. 

“We’re ready.” She agreed. She ran her fingers through the ends of her hair and took hold of Papa’s hand. “Let's go. Time to go do the finishing touches before people start showing up.”

[brothersgrim]

@turpitudae asked: i prefer hanging out with people who are dead for 200 years. it's the live ones that throw me, priest and kane. insert sigh because let uncle give him advice. 

“Yeah.” Kane nods his agreement and crosses his arms. He understands completely. People are strange. They're… Complicated. But the ones like the two of them? The strangers, the freaks, the outcasts? They made sense. Their weirdness was comforting. It was familiar. 

“I guess that means you're sticking around for a few days?” He asks. He reaches for the spatula and gives the eggs a quick stir. “Guest room is still empty if you need it.” 

[brothersgrim]

ONE WORD HEADCANON ASKS

@unprettiers asked so long ago it was on a different blog aches + mind for both boys 

aches: does my muse have any frequent aches? ie, muscle aches, joint aches? how do these affect them from day-to-day? 

mind: does my muse have any mental conditions that affect their lives? what are they? how do they handle them? what coping methods do they use most? 

For the aches, oh boy. I was going to say I think Taker has it worse, but the more I thought about it, the less sure I am. They’ve both been through some pretty horrific things. Kane was set on fire, and that was never properly treated. Taker’s died repeatedly, and I don’t think WebMD has anything for that. That's outside of the literal decades of abuse (much of it physical - remember, the beatings and betrayals Paul performed on TV was just the behaviour he was willing to let other people see), starvation, fights, even the suboptimal sleeping conditions the boys had contributed to their fair share of aches and pains.  So I'm mostly going to talk about the worst ones here. 

Obviously, Kane's worst chronic pain comes from the fire. Firstly, he was burned alive. The residual scarring isn’t as bad as Paul/Kane’s BDD makes him think sometimes, but it was still bad (and we’ll get into the BDD later). He does have a bit of nerve damage left over from the fire itself, though it mostly manifests as a sort of tingling numbness that flares up every now and again. Of course, he has worse days, too, where it all just hurts. This can be especially bad if he’s been pushing himself physically for too long. Some days, it hurts (or just generally feels stiff) too much for him to really want to do anything. Taker, being the overprotective brother he is, does what he can to look after him when Kane’s feeling like this. Paul is– Less sympathetic. (That’s partly the reason it’s so bad.)

It wasn’t just the actual fire itself that scarred him, either. (It did, and the burn scars are the worst - even when faded - on his calves, left arm, shoulders and face.) There was debris involved, too. There are lingering scars from falling boards on his back, too - mostly around his shoulderblades, but a little lower down, too. There was a lot of bruising, a few fractures… It took a long time to heal. It’s frankly some kind of miracle he survived at all (though my thoughts on that are for another post). When he’s young (post-fire), his shoulders bugged him a lot. If he were to think back, he’s not sure how much of the discomfort was caused by the injuries, or the fact that he was in a cold, sometimes damp basement, with only a thin blanket to sleep on. That certainly didn’t help. Neither did the growth spurts. Those were pretty rough for someone who ended up as big as he did. 

The good news is, the shoulder aches mostly faded with time. … Or, with time and leaving the hospitals, basement, and Paul. Getting away from Paul truly does fix most of the brothers’ problems. Early on, he gets pretty bad aches and can need to lie down for a bit in order to function. Pain meds help, sometimes, but he generally dislikes having to take any kind of medication. It’s another thing the hospitals ruined for him. He also sometimes has to watch himself when he’s working out, training, or fighting. He’s been known to push himself too far on more than one occasion.

The interesting thing is that this kind of goes the other way, too. Kane has a lot of nerve damage, and a lot of psychological damage (which we’ll touch on later). Taker has a similar deal. Sometimes they just don’t feel pain. Or, at the very least, they don’t realise they’ve felt pain. This can make both of them push beyond what’s reasonably safe for them and aggravate injuries to a pretty nasty extent. At times, it can be a long while before they even realise what they’ve done - even up to a few days. Of course, when it does finally set in, it tends to set in bad. 

Another injury Kane has is his eye. This one doesn’t hurt so much once he’s an adult, but hurt a lot when he was a kid/teenager. It felt like a cross between itching and a migraine for the longest time. It didn’t help that his vision is constantly blurred through the damaged eye, which also gave him some nasty strain migraines until he adjusted. It wasn’t fun. 

Speaking of adjusting - and speaking - there’s also the issue of his throat. Yes, Paul lied about him being mute. We all know that Kane is, in fact, capable of speech (most days). Kane didn’t know that. And early on, smoke damage made it so that it hurt to try. Even when he did try, he couldn’t get a lot out. So he gave up. Sometimes, even swallowing or breathing hurt. He probably should’ve been given a lot more water than he actually was. … And more everything, but that’s besides the point. Unfortunately, if you won’t use muscles for a long enough time, they start to deteriorate. Kane didn’t speak for twenty years. While he ended up not needing the electric larynx to speak, for a while, it was vital. It took a long time for Kane to be able to make any sound on his own again, and he was known for pushing himself too far too fast. It was a process. 

Then we have the general workout aches and pains. Like his brother, even though he’s naturally huge and scary, Kane is rarely satisfied with what he already has physically. You don’t get far in their line of work by settling. He also, when they get along, helps his brother in and around the Yard and workshop. That adds to it all, too. 

Oh! And the elbow. I almost forgot the elbow. The one that Steve and Hunter broke three times in a row. That one bothers him a lot, both while it’s healing and after the fact. It’s more of a dull ache, and usually only if he over-exerts himself too much, or if it rains. That upsets him sometimes, because he likes the rain. As I mentioned, he doesn’t like taking medicine either, so pain meds every time a storm approaches is out. He finds some topical rubs and massages help a bit, especially against the stiffness, but it never really goes away.

Also his ankle. Seth broke his ankle in the middle of a mental breakdown that, admittedly, Kane did cause. I love that segment, but Kane didn’t exactly set the bone in a healthy way. This is a newer injury, but it has been healed up. It still hurts sometimes if he pushes himself too hard, but he was better about letting that one rest - both because Paul wasn’t around anymore, and because Taker was very strict about him sitting down when it hurt. Big brother is protective. 

I could go on, but those are the main ones, and I think it’s time to move on to his brother now. 

Taker is equally a mess, just in different ways. I mean, like I said, first and foremost, he’s dead. That causes a bunch of issues for him - including body temperature. Taker canonically does not generate any body heat. He’s consistently described as being ‘cold as ice’ when people touch him. He’s literally always freezing. This means he gets achey way more easily than others. Even when he has a pulse (ABA era), his circulation is awful. This leads to general stiffness and soreness, especially when he wakes up. It’s one of many reasons that, even though he gets up early every day, he’s not a morning person.  

He also spent the majority of his life a slave, and doing hard labour. He’s a patchwork of scars. Obviously, he has some on his knuckles. These are mostly from fighting, or from training to fight. They hurt a lot more early on than they do later in life. One of the lasting impacts is that it’s hard, and eventually impossible, for him to fully straighten his fingers. It can be a bit annoying, but he deals with it. 

He also has scars on his palms. These are from years and years of overworking himself, voluntarily or otherwise. Shovels and various other tools wore the skin away, and now he has to live with it. These also contribute to how hard it is for him to fully open his hands. Interestingly, this means that it’s harder for him to really get more cuts or splinters on his hands, as the skin has toughened up quite a bit. That didn’t stop his palms from scarring over when he got crucified, though. In the middle of each of his hands are circular scars. Broader circles on the palms, smaller circles on the backs of his hands. These hurt a lot while he was getting them; they hurt less now. 

Then there’s the neck! He has ligature marks around his neck. That’s from the first time he died, back when he was fourteen. For a long time, his neck was very stiff and sore. Then, it was only stiff and sore after he exerted himself a lot, or after he just woke up. Now, it’s mostly if he just wakes up, though aches tend to linger there more than other places. It also means coughs or sore throats tend to linger a bit longer with him. It’s annoying, but he deals with it. 

He has a lot of back pain, surprising nobody. This is from the hard labour he does, all of the fighting, and carrying the company for so long. You know how it is. Sometimes it makes it hard to work, or train, or fight, but he’ll do it anyway. He’s a stubborn man. It doesn’t help that he tends to take cold showers, and not linger in them. Once again, he deals with this by not dealing with it and powering through. He keeps going until he can’t anymore. 

Oh, and his knees. His knees are also really, really bad when he gets older. This is from his work in the yard, his work in the ring, and how many times he’s knelt in his life, voluntarily or otherwise. 

Most of it was otherwise. 

This one is a bit harder to ignore, because if your legs don’t work, it’s hard to go do physical labour. Again, a lot of the time, Taker would just keep trying to power through regardless - that’s just how he is - but if it got bad enough, and Paul wasn’t around, he might take a seat and rest for a bit. That’s usually a sign that it’s gotten really bad. His hips bug him, too, but this ties right into the knees thing. 

He also gets headaches sometimes, but I don’t know if that’s because of how many times he’s been hit in the face, or because he stresses himself out a lot, but it happens. He also usually just powers through these, too. 

I mean the long and short of it is, the boys hurt all over all the time, and for the most part they’ve been taught to ignore it and keep going.

They only have the healthiest of coping methods at the Valdis Funeral Home and Mortuary. 

But, now we get on to the really messy stuff. Their mental state. 

Both of the boys have really horrible PTSD, stemming from both the fire and their treatment after it. It was twenty-something years of horrific abuse in various forms. 

For Kane, this manifests in mood swings, loyalty complexes, attachment issues, obsessive tendencies, BDD, and mutism. It also works as claustrophobia, food insecurities, and altering between touch starvation and touch aversion. It’s also implied in at least one segment that he has some kind of hallucinations, but I don’t know if this is canon or just Paul’s manipulation - it’s kind of hard to tell. 

The mood swings get better with time, but they can be really bad on bad days - I guess ‘mood swings’ isn’t even the best words for it. It’s periods of mania, depression, and aggression. I’m not a psychologist, so I can’t say for sure, but I think it’s in part because of his PTSD, but also part because he spent so much of his formative years in total or near total isolation, and that had an impact on how he learned to process/didn’t learn to process emotion or handle social situations. When I describe Kane as ‘feral’, I do mean it. Initially, he doesn’t deal with this well at all, but he does go to therapy later in life. (There’s a great example of how he becomes more socialised in his Team Hell No run, where Daniel is mad because Kane wants to eat a puppy - I said MORE socialised, not completely socialised - and Kane asks if they can talk about it instead of just being mad, but I could go on about his growth for ages and that’s not what this is for.) 

Now, I have to say here, a lot of the times Kane’s called unpredictable or overly violent, it’s more than justified. Like, oh no, Kane is lashing out against this man who’s called him slurs and insulted him to his face for over a decade. He’s attacking the guy who tried to set him on fire, abused him and his brother, and tried to steal his mask, how shocking! 

But, at the same time, some of the mood shifts were pretty extreme. For the most part, Kane learned to deal with these either through therapy (actual therapy), and through figuring out grounding methods on his own.  As with most of Kane’s struggles, being around his brother makes things easier. Part of this is because Taker is someone who - as long as they’re getting along - makes Kane feel safe; the other part is the huge difference in body temperature. Taker is so cold - even when he’s alive - that it’s like holding an ice cube, and it’s enough of a jolt compared to Kane’s above-average temperature to help him recenter himself. Taker also just knows how to talk to Kane, and that helps, too. It also just helps to have outlets, if that makes any sense. Venting aggressive periods at the gym or in the ring, for example, or being allowed to pester and goof off around/with his brother or the few genuine friends he’s gathered, or just being allowed to spend the day in bed if it’s a downswing. Surprise surprise, accommodating peoples’ needs in an understanding way helps them heal. 

Shocker. 

Next on the list is Kane’s massive loyalty complex. This shapes a lot of his relationships - and by extension, is the framework for a lot of his development - throughout his post-release life. He has a very hard time saying ‘no’ to people he feels he’s supposed to like/be aligned with/have care about him. Like most things, this is Paul’s fault, and stems from Kane’s time in the basement. He had complete control over everything that happened to Kane, and he was also the only interaction the poor kid had aside from various rodents and vermin that would sometimes find their way in. He learned very quickly that if he didn’t do exactly as Paul asked, he got punished, and punished severely. It could be anything from yelling or screaming at him to denying food, water, or just completely ignoring him, which was even worse. No conversation, no interaction… At times, Paul would come down to the basement to rearrange boxes and things out of Kane’s reach, and just play dumb to any attempts to get his attention. Just to make a point. 

This was made worse when he was in the hospitals. He wasn’t treated as a person there. Oftentimes, he wasn’t even treated as an animal. He was an object at best. Something to talk about, poke, prod, run experiments on, then toss away when you got bored. The fact that he couldn’t talk made it even worse. A lot of them just took that as carte-blanche to talk like he wasn’t there. They’d do that about a lot of the patients, sure, but especially those that were nonverbal, and their comments were rarely ever kind. On top of that, he was moved around very frequently. He didn’t get to put down roots. He didn’t get to have a routine for very long. He only had two constants: Paul, and the desire to kill his brother. He latched on to both of those things. When he was in the basement, Paul being there meant he got some kind of interaction. It meant he got spoken to, even if the words used were rarely kind. It meant that he got food or water. In the hospitals, it meant someone would acknowledge him as human (even if Paul was just acting, and even then, was known to let the mask slip from time to time). It meant he could have someone who understood what had happened to him. And of course, Paul being Paul absolutely encouraged this attachment, something we can see even once Kane’s released and in the Federation. How often do we hear him say something like ‘I’m your dad’ or ‘do it for your father, boy’? It’s basically a back-up catchphrase. For Taker, Paul has the urn to control him. For Kane, he has gaslighting and conditioning. Kane has to keep Paul happy if he wants to survive. Bad things happen when Paul is upset. These are rules he followed that were as natural and fundamental to him as the laws of physics. And yes, okay, sometimes Paul isn’t a part of his life. Sometimes he’s managed to get away from his father. In that case, there is a void in his life, and nature abhors a vacuum. Kane will, often, latch on to the first person who’s halfway decent to him. A lot of the time, this is his brother.  That’s a good thing. Taker will always do his best for Kane. (Assuming he has his own free will, but we’ll get to that.) He loves Kane. … But sometimes, it’s not Taker Kane latches onto. Sometimes it’s XPac, or Tori, or Lita, or even Kurt. Someone who cares a lot less about Kane, and more about what Kane can do for them. Because of what Kane grew up with, he has a very hard time differentiating between healthy and unhealthy relationships. He just needs to be needed. He needs to feel useful. So if he finds someone who gives him that dynamic, he latches on hard. If he THINKS he’s found that dynamic, he’ll latch on, even if the other person doesn’t know. There’s a spectrum of how ‘deep’ into this he can get, and obviously, it’s worse with certain people and in certain times. Obviously, it’s worse when he’s recently been released, late 90s era. That’s when the conditioning is the most fresh. It’s also bad during times of turmoil or sudden negative change. Especially early on, Kane doesn’t do well with change, and frankly, the outside world is scary. Yes, he’s a big, scary dude with fire powers. But he doesn’t remember life before the fire (something else we’ll get into). He only remembers isolation. The basement, the hospitals. The world outside is huge and busy and so different. Especially early on, Kane doesn’t know how any of it works. He needed someone to show him the ropes. When the noise in his head is too loud, the world as a whole is too much to navigate. He needs someone to do it for him. Combine these factors and you get a seven-foot-tall fire-demon-warlock who’s beyond willing to throw his own morals and self comfort away if it means you’ll just tell him you love him. If you’ll make him feel like he matters.

He’s a simple man, in that sense. 

Now, that sort of covered his attachment issues, too, so I’ll touch briefly on Kane’s memory. Or lack thereof. 

If you’ve been around here long enough, you’ll know that Paul is a dirty liar. Almost every word out of his mouth is a lie. He said the boys’ parents never loved them. This isn’t true. He would go on and on about how their parents mistreated Kane. This is also untrue. Paul says Adam (the Undertaker) hated Kane from day one. Also false. The list goes on. His parents loved him. His brother loves him still. But Kane? Kane doesn’t remember any of that. Anything before the fire is completely lost to him. Technically, it’s all still in there, but it’s buried too deep for anything but scraps to surface without serious therapy. Part of this is for physical reasons. Paul and the doctors weren’t exactly kind to him. Anything ranging from general abuse to electroshock ‘therapy’ messed with his cognitive abilities. The other reason he’s repressed those memories is just how much worse it makes the entire experience. It’s one thing to be trapped in a basement. It’s one thing to be horribly starved and abused. But to live like that when you’d previously only known love and care? That’s a nightmare. To top it off, Kane didn’t have the best time in the fire (obviously). He watched their mother burn in front of him. It was too much to handle. All of that melted together into a great reason for him to shut the early years of his life out. It was safer that way. He doesn’t remember anything about Iza or JT, and for the longest time, took Paul’s words about them as gospel. The same with his brother, his general past, everything. Over time, some things start slipping through the cracks, but not a lot. He gets flashes, sometimes, maybe weird dreams, but most of what he learns about his past he just hears in stories. He looks at the only photo Taker has saved of their family together and it looks like strangers. He hears stories from Taker, and maybe a few others who knew his mother and father (Paul doesn’t count), and it sounds like fairy tales. Even seeing his and Taker’s school photos on the wall of the elementary school felt like an elaborate prank. He doesn’t always like to think about it, but it’s something he works on processing the older he gets. 

Now we’re on to the obsessive tendencies. These manifest in a few ways. The first is that, obviously, Kane is obsessed with his older brother. This is, like most things, for a few reasons. The first is that the two of them are magically joined at the hip. They have been since Kane was born. Not every Valdis sibling is like this, but the two of them share thoughts sometimes. It helps a lot now that Kane doesn't talk as much, but it's always been that way. This caused a few problems during the fire that I’ll touch in when we go back to discussing Taker. They were also best friends when they were babies. Then the fire happens. And subconsciously, Kane still needs his big brother, just like his big brother still needs him. And then Paul is constantly in Kane’s ear, telling him that it’s his brother’s fault that he’s there. His brother’s fault he’s scarred. His brother’s fault his parents are dead. (This is an interesting one for me, because Paul flip-flops on the images of Iza and JT he paints for Kane. When he wants Kane’s loyalty, they were horrible and abusive, didn’t care about either of the boys, and deserved what they got. When he wants Kane angrier than normal about his brother, it’s that your adoptive father was a fine, upstanding man, your poor, sweet mother, blah blah blah.) And his brother is his only real tie, aside from Paul, to the outside world. So Kane is obsessed with his brother for the vast majority of his life. Whether that means he wants to kill Taker, kill anyone who looks sideways at Taker, or both, depends on the day. 

He can also, as I mentioned before, get obsessed with people he thinks can give him the stability he needs. This one only really happens during bad mental health moments. And I mean really, really bad mental health moments. Like the time he beat Taker into a coma, forgot he did it, held a funeral, went on a warpath trying to find the ‘culprit’ for about a month, then remembered it was him and no longer felt bad about it. The bad moments. This ties into what I mentioned before regarding his need to feel useful. It will never go as far as his obsession with his brother - that overpowers all else - but it can get extreme. It can also be really, really hard for him to snap out of it, depending on how far gone he is. It’s usually best to just call his brother. 

This segues really well into the next point, because his last obsession - with his appearance - leads really well into the BDD point, too. Because here’s the thing: Paul lied. Again. This is an interesting moment where he lied in both directions. When Kane first debuted, he had his mask on, and refused to take it off or let anyone near it. If you ask him why, it’s because he’s disfigured. He’s hideous. He’s deformed. He was scarred so horribly in the fire, any normal person who saw his face would run screaming. And then he’s unmasked, and he looks… Fine. Handsome, even. And Paul says Kane was never scarred at all, it was all in his head. I’ve reconciled it by meeting in the middle. Yes, Kane does have some scars, but they're nowhere near as bad as he's been raised to think. And his BPD preys upon that. Some days, especially once he gets actual therapy and meds, he sees himself as he is. Other times, he sees his reflection as a twisted, mangled monster. It repulses him. It scares him. It isn’t him but it is. It’s a reminder of the worst thing that happened to him and everything that came after, a message to the rest of the world that he’s a freak that will never belong. He’s broken mirrors over it before, put his fist through the glass and it hurt less than looking at himself a moment longer. The mirrors in the funeral home have covers, now, blinds, curtains, that kind of thing, and there isn’t one in Kane’s room. If he uses one at all, he uses one in the bathroom. Some days, it can get so bad that even his reflection in silverware turns his stomach, so there are some special cutlery kept for him at the home. (These have been replaced for various reasons over the years.) It’s one of the reasons he depends on his mask so much. It’s a shield and a security blanket. Especially early on, but even sometimes later in life, he cannot be seen without it. In the canon instances when he’s unmasked early on, he covers his face and runs. Ironically, it’s this behaviour that results in his ultimate unmasking with Rob. They have a really good conversation about it beforehand, too. I’ve talked about it before, but I think it bears reiterating now. The crux of the issue between Kane and Rob was that Steve Austin and Triple H had unmasked Kane during a tag match, and Kane ran out on Rob, costing them the win. Rob is, understandably, upset with Kane. The only thing Kane can tell him is he left because his mask was removed. He had to leave. That makes no sense to Rob. But to Kane, being seen without his mask on is just as lethal as jumping into the freeway or swimming with lead flippers. He can’t figure out how to explain why it’s so bad to Rob because to Kane, it’s obvious. He can’t let anyone see his face. He just can’t. 

Not even himself. 

Like a lot of things, this changes with time. He works on it. He goes to therapy. He learns to cope. He handles it. It never goes away, per se - he still has bad days where he wears a mask even at home, and he has good days where he can go without one while he runs errands - but it gets… Better. He still doesn’t like mirrors much, but there are days he can handle it, days he can be alright with himself. Again, the more he’s away from Paul (and his other abusers), the better he gets. He’ll never really see himself as handsome (at least without the mask), but, yeah.

He gets better. 

And the last thing I’ll touch on for Kane is his selective mutism. This is part mental, part physical. Cause like… Kane was set on fire. That’s a thing that happened. He was nine years old when he was burned alive. Yes, he survived, but that messed him up. He sustained some pretty real smoke damage to his throat (and probably tore it screaming, let’s be real). That would’ve been bad enough, but then you add in the psychological aspects. He was told being silent kept him alive. If he did try to speak, he was punished - and besides, it hurt. It wasn’t worth it. And Kane grew to fully believe that he couldn’t speak - maybe he’d never spoken - and would never hear his voice again. Once he gets out, he eventually, gradually, starts talking again. It takes a while, but he gets there. Sometimes. Because other times, the mental blocks come back up. His mouth fills with phantom ash, his throat clogs with long-since–faded smoke. In some cases, he doesn’t know what triggers his nonverbal periods - some days they just happen. He’ll wake up and notice that words just aren’t happening. It doesn’t matter how hard he tries to force them, it’s just a no. Other times, it’s caused by periods of high stress, anxiety, fear, or even anger. In this case, it’s usually only until he’s had a bit to calm down, then he’ll (eventually) be ready to speak again. It works faster if he can have somewhere cool and quiet and dim (not dark) to relax after. He has other coping methods, too. He tries to carry a notepad and pen so he can write things down, for people who care to read. He's started learning sign language. And he has his brother. Taker always knows what Kane wants to say - they’ve been able to share thoughts, to put it simply, as long as they’ve both been alive. There was a brief break while Kane was in the hospitals/basement due to trauma and abuse, but it’s back now. Taker will often act as Kane’s interpreter, or at the very least monitor things around him, when little brother can’t talk. They make it work. 

Now we can move on to Taker, who I would argue is just as messed up as Kane is - just in a different way. Taker’s main mental struggles take the form of self-harm/self-sabotage and suicidal ideation, a saviour complex, lost time, difficulty with interpersonal relationships/trust issues, panic attacks, issues with guilt/blame, and his own flavour of fixation with his brother. Let’s get to it!

First is the self-harm and ideation. This is big, but how obvious it is depends on the day and situation. It’s actually how Taker came to be what he was, and he just never really got better. Well- That’s not entirely true. He does improve over time, in some verses more so than others, it just never entirely goes away. So, let’s talk about it. Adam - Taker before he went by the name - was twelve when the fire happened. Twelve years old when he watched his family die. Twelve years old when everything in his life went to hell. That changes a person. Especially at the time, when PTSD was shell-shock was something only soldiers had, and the treatment was to drink about it. Nobody really knew how to deal with him. Especially since his temporary guardians, Aunt Nel and Liam, didn’t know they had nephews until a month before the fire. They didn’t have time to prepare, even if the resources were out there. What were they supposed to do? Anyways, it got worse. He was a Valdis away from his yard. He was an orphan who watched his family die. He was a small town kid in a big city. So on and so forth, he suffers for about two years before he finally reaches what he thinks is a solution. He offers his soul, an eternity of servitude, in exchange for his family’s return to the world of the living. There was more detail to the potential contract, but we’ll keep it at that for now. He thought it was a great idea. If it works, he gets to have his family back and go home. If it doesn’t, he gets to be dead with his family in the afterlife. There’s no downside, he thinks. And then it goes wrong. He doesn't know it's wrong at first. It feels like it's going well - he does, he wakes up, someone was listening. That's all he needed. And then something goes wrong. I know what it was, but he doesn’t, not until much later. (Kane was alive. That voided the contract. But how was he supposed to know when he watched the house collapse?) That’s not the point here, though - the point is, when he was a teenager, he made the choice to die because it ‘had no bad outcomes’. He genuinely did not want to live anymore if he could not life without his family. He also felt like he wasn’t remembering them as well anymore. It was little details that felt wrong, but he knew more would slip away over time. He couldn’t accept that. 

Just in case you're wondering, dying didn't improve his mental health at all. The only difference is he can't die. He wants to, though. He’s tried. Mostly when he was younger, back when he thought it would still do something (he’s since been disillusioned; he knows he always comes back). While the urge to die stays with him for the vast majority (or perhaps, in some verses, all) of his life, it isn’t until the Big Evil period of his life that he starts acting on it again. That's a really low point for him, and I’ll talk more about it as time goes on (not that he has a lot of high points), but, yeah. The buried alive match against Vince? He didn't care if he won or not. Sure, winning was the ideal situation in the long term, as it would get rid of Vince, and he hates Vince. But he also didn’t expect Vince to play fair. And if he cheats, if Taker dies? Who cares. It's fine. Even if he doesn't come back - which he wasn't sure if he would, at the time - it's no great loss, right? He doesn't think so. And he's tired. He’s so, so tired. It's the worst in the canon timeline, of course. He’s watched his entire life be destroyed for… No real reason at all. His brother is mangled, mutilated, hates him, and is back with Paul. His reputation is destroyed. He’s had his finances stolen. He’s not sleeping. He’s drinking again. He’s been tormented by phone calls, stalkers, having his past trauma dug up, fake cops, real cops, accusations of cheating, murder, abuse… The list goes on. To put it lightly, he’s doing rough. To put it more realistically, he’s completely fucking snapped. He doesn’t want to do this any more. He’s never wanted to do this, but now it’s all become too much, too much, too much again. He just wants to rest, and there’s only one way for that to happen. And besides. If he dies, he might see his parents again. (He might see Liz again.) 

Now, these are extreme examples of his self-destructive tendencies, but there are… Less severe cases, as well. Like his tendency to overwork himself. (This is also Paul’s fault.) I mentioned the scars he has on his palms; those are from wearing his hands out until they’re bloody, over and over and over again. He’ll avoid sleep if it means getting work done and meeting deadlines. Sometimes he forgets to eat. There are a few ‘reasons’ for this. The first is that this is, unfortunately, a force of habit. Ever since he first died, he was put to work. I mean, really, does anyone believe Paul did any labour in the yard? And there was always so much to do. Paul took all the money he could after the fire, the insurance, the inheritance, anything he could get his hands on. And then he'd tell Taker about how the home was suffering, how they were in danger of losing the property, how they were racking up debt. How it was his fault he wasn’t working hard enough. And if Taker worked himself until his shoulders dislocated or tore and Paul got a new tailored suit (there’s this little Italian place he just loves, oh, it’s so luxurious there), well, that’s different, and why are you asking anyway, boy, I didn’t tell you to speak. 

Actually, a lot of his self harming habits are things he picked up from the way Paul (And Ted, Love, Fuji, and so many more) treated him. Taker will never use hot water when he showers if he runs it himself, and he’ll never take a bath unless someone else starts it for him. This stems from an incident when he was seventeen years old. There was a bigger, fancier funeral in the books, and he'd been working for days. He’d also been sleeping in a cave near the abandoned residential district for the past few days (something Paul canonically made him do) and it showed. He was tired. He was sore. He was caked in dirt and blood and who knew what else. Paul had been gone for a few days. 

He just wanted to feel like himself again. So he had a shower. And then Paul found out. And just a shower turned into “what in the hell are you wasting water for, that’s expensive”. It turned into “who the hell raised you to be so vain, cause it sure wasn’t me”. It was “why do you care what you look like, when ain’t nobody left who’s gonna want to stomach you”. It was “maybe it’s a good thing your parents are gone, I wouldn’t want their poor hearts breaking when they found out you put your looks over the business they loved so much”. Paul sprayed him with the hose and made him spend the night standing unmoving in the desert. He froze to death, woke up, was made to apologise, and put back to work. So he doesn’t take hot showers, even after he’s away from Paul. 

He also has a hard time stopping a project halfway through. Paul never liked that. (Granted, I think Taker would be this way even if he hadn't been horribly abused, it's just MORE now.) If he was late on work, he'd be punished. Sometimes, if Paul needed a pick-me-up, he’d order Taker to do absurd amounts of work in impossible time limits and go off on him for not meeting the task. An example of this I wrote about was the time he told Taker to hand-craft seven caskets in three days (for the record, a single basic casket takes between six to ten hours on average to make). Technically, without rest or breaks (which he was rarely allowed anyway), this is possible, as there are seventy-two hours in three days. He could’ve technically done it, and he was close. He had half of one casket left. Just half. But Paul came back early and the job still wasn’t done, and he got mad. So he ordered Taker to strangle himself, let him die and come back a few times, and only let him let go of his own throat the next evening. This was also when he was a teenager. It was not the first nor the last time Paul would do something like this. That, plus the gaslighting and financial abuse, were staples of Taker’s existence under Paul. So he doesn’t like leaving work unfinished. 

These tendencies also leak into his fighting habits. Taker notoriously never backs down from a fight (except against Kane, but I’ll talk about that in a bit). He’s also never tapped out. He keeps going until he can’t. This is a pride thing, yes. It’s a reputation thing, sure. And with how his colleagues act like vultures, it’s a safety thing, too. If he shows weakness, they swoop. … But it’s also a punishment. It’s an easy way to get lost in pain. I read once, in an article someone who’d recovered from self-harming tendencies wrote, that to them, the act was a way to make the pain they felt seem more ‘tangible’. It was giving form to the emotional and psychological turmoil they felt. It made it real. It made it easier to accept. It was, in part, that way for the Undertaker, too. He doesn’t think of himself as traumatised. If you ask him, he’s fine. He’s always fine. What are you on about? He’s fine. But he obviously isn’t if you’ve heard him open his mouth for more than ten seconds, and sometimes, he needs to rationalise why he feels like garbage. He’s not tired because he’s been grappling with depression most of his life, he’s tired because he spent an entire day in the yard and then had to beat the pulp outta some dumbass in the ring. It’s not hard to get out of bed because he hates himself, it’s because he’s still sore from going through a table or barricade. He doesn’t have a hard time looking his reflection in the eye some days because of a guilt complex, it’s because the bruise he got annoys him. He’s fine. He's always fine. And sometimes it gets even worse. He decided to fight Brock Lesnar with a broken arm. Sure, he did great, but that is not sane behaviour. 

This was also a habit he developed when he was young, post-fire. Not getting into death matches, but the harm, yes. He’d do that. His method involved a lighter he bartered for from a kid in Houston and sweaters long enough to hide things from his aunt and uncle. It made him feel closer to his family. It made him feel less alone. This is something he kept up until he made his deal. 

I don’t know if it goes here, but he, like Kane, is also food-insecure. After all, what does a corpse need food for? Because he’s hungry? And why should Paul care? That’s not his problem. Might teach the boy some damn self control to go without. And if he did get food, it was rarely anything too substantial. He usually had to go looking for scraps where he could find them - leftovers he was told to clean up after wakes and funerals. Scraps he found in the garbage when Paul had him doing ‘chores’. Of course, Paul’s not completely heartless. He’d give him food sometimes. … And sometimes, he’d put a plate out and order Taker not to touch it. Then he’d come back, see the uneaten food, and talk about how the boy must not be hungry, after all, and make Taker throw it out. Other times, he’d throw the food into a fire (fireplace at his house, fire pit at the home) and suggest he could reach in and grab it if he wanted to. Didn’t you always want to rescue something from the flames? Go on. This is your chance. … But since it wasn’t an order, he couldn't. He could only watch. Watch and wait to be told to clean up the ashes. 

He’s not as bad as Kane is about food, though. He got lucky. He could get food while Paul was gone. And once Paul started selling him off, some people would feed him. Ted did, which surprises everybody - though this was more to show off how he could even afford to feed ‘the help’ than out of any care for Taker. (For the record, Taker didn’t like that food. He’d eat it, of course. He was hungry, and he’d been told to. But it always tasted strange to him. It was fancy food, rich food, nothing like he would’ve gotten at home. Why would he want caprese salad or caviar or tapenade when he missed his mother’s casseroles so dearly?) So Kane is still more foodshy of the two of them, but Taker has his own insecurities, and on bad days, he can forget to eat entirely, or eat the bare minimum because his trauma tells him if he eats ‘too much’ he might get caught. By who doesn’t matter. That it’s his home, his food, that doesn’t matter either. He still gets the sensation that he might get caught. 

Thankfully, he moves past it fairly well. I don’t know if he’ll ever be completely ‘normal’ about food (Kane isn’t), but he can coexist with other people in a dining environment without getting antsy or aggressive. He’ll share his food with the people he cares about (especially his brother and any romantic partners or child-figures). And he’ll usually remember to eat - he has to stay in shape, after all. You just sometimes might have to remind him. 

Now there’s the saviour complex.

This is one of the biggest factors of his trauma. Taker watched his family die when he was 12. Both his story and the most recent comic adaptation of the fire have him trying to run in the building, to the point he had to be restrained by firefighters, plural. He wanted to run in there and try to save them. And then when he talks about it, he blames himself for the fire even before he thinks he set it. Part of this is just his personality. Even without the fire and related trauma, he wants to look out for people and take responsibility. It’s older brother/next in line syndrome, you know how it is. But the trauma made it worse. Something to know is that we don’t hear a lot about the boys’ parents in canon. That means I get to make them into my own personal playground. But one thing we do know in canon is the last conversation Taker ever had with his father. We don’t know it word for word; we know the gist. Since they’d been fooling around with chemicals, their father explained that it was dangerous, that they shouldn’t do it again, and what our boy took away from it: You’re the oldest. You should know better. You have to take care of your brother. Now this is something I’ll talk more about when I touch on Taker’s Kane Complex, but it informed a lot of how he processed his grief. Obviously, JT did not mean ‘everything is your fault all the time’. That would be insane. What he meant was ‘please, PLEASE don’t use your magic powers on the highly flammable chemicals and PLEASE let me know if your brother tries to do it too’. But Taker, after the fire, filed it away under the first interpretation. He should have stopped Kane. If he had, the fire wouldn’t have happened. He should have stayed in the home.If he had, the fire wouldn’t have happened.  Or if it had, he could have gotten his family out, and they would be okay. And then after the fire, if he made the deal properly, they’d be back, and they’d be okay. And that’s how he saw the rest of his life.

He had to take care of the home, even at detriment to himself, because he was the only one left. And then he has to take care of Kane, because nobody else will. He has to stand up to Hunter and Vince because no one else will - not in a way that matters. He has to keep his coworkers in line because nobody else will. He has to save those that have no one because no one ever saved him. If you combine this with his low-to-no self preservation, and his extreme sense of justice, and you can see how this spirals quickly. It also has different levels. Sometimes, ‘saving’ someone means giving them food. They’re hungry? Here, have a snack. (Usually means he’ll just buy you something extra from the vending machine. He rarely gives away the food he’s eating, unless you’re Kane or similar in importance. Kane can have his food if he’s hungry.) Sometimes it means giving them advice. Everyone knows to come to him if someone gets out of line. He’s the conscience of the WWE. He’s their judge. If you have a dispute, you can talk to him and he’ll solve it. And, as we know, sometimes ‘saving’ people means stepping in when they get in over their heads. When AJ and the Good Brothers jumped Rey Mysterio, Taker came in and took away a stolen victory. (And the trophy - he uses it as a hat rack.) When Shane and Drew were mauling Roman as a joke (with Elias helping), he slides in and helps Roman put them both out (and curses their souls). When Hunter was abusing Shawn, Taker challenged him to one of the most brutal cage matches I’ve ever seen and won. (The way he won it matters, too, but this is already way too long. I’ll talk about that later if people want me to!) When Stephanie was being abused by her father and his goons, and later Brock Lesnar, Taker was the one to get between them and make her feel safe by any means necessary. When Diamond Dallas Page kidnapped Deborah, Taker was the one who came to save her even if it meant a five on one brawl. And of course, Kane - but he’ll always take care of Kane. These are just the examples that come to mind off the top of my head, too - there are more. He just can’t stand aside and let people get hurt, even if he doesn’t personally like or even know them well. He can’t just ignore it. He can’t. Part of it is, again, his sense of justice. He’s always had that, even since he was little, but it got stronger as he got older. But the biggest factor of this is, he knows what it feels like to be on the other end of that. If we go by strictly canon, it’s very, very rare that anyone tries to help either brother, but Taker especially. He doesn’t have friends. He was openly sold as a slave for most of his adult life on television and it was generally treated as a mark of honour and status to have control over him. People bragged about it. People joked about it. His colleagues would try to steal the urn every so often just to see if they could, and what they could do once they got their hands on it. Some of them didn’t even acknowledge him as a person. I think there were only three, maybe four, people outside of Kane who actually tried to help him out of bad situations.

Dok Hendrix once told Taker people would love him even if they heard Paul’s blackmail (Paul shot this down and screamed at Taker for listening to something like that). Shawn and Kevin welcomed him for a little bit (and we all know how that turned out). Steph helped him a bit in the Big Evil era. Maybe you could count Chris Jericho for a bit? And Steve at least treated him with respect and looked after Kane during the Ministry era, as well as a few other moments. But that’s it over thirty years of his time in the federation. It’s small bits, it’s scattered, and if it isn’t directly shot down it turns into betrayal later on. It never lasts. It never works. Most of the time, it only winds up making things worse, because they don’t or can’t follow through. None of them care enough to commit - or they just don’t have the ability. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. Nobody saves him. When it was at its worst, he was ignored. He suffered. He saved himself. And because he knows how that feels, he can’t sit back and let anyone else suffer like that. He stands up because he knows nobody else will; Because nobody else will, he feels he has to. To a lesser extent, he plays a similar role in the Valley itself. He takes care of things. Usually strange things that the cops don’t want to handle, and disputes of that nature, but still. He takes care of things. He’s willing to put his life and well-being on the line if he thinks it’s a worthy cause - he really doesn’t care about himself, as long as the would-be victim is alright. He’s fine. 

Lost time is next on the list. He doesn’t always know how much time has passed if he’s doing something mindless or repetitive. He forgets to check on things. Gravedigging, sanding caskets, even exercising, sometimes he just gets lost in it. This is yet another holdover from his slave days. A lot of the time, he’d be left at the same task for days, or however long it took for it to be finished. He just works. He didn’t have any need to check time or think about lunch breaks. He didn’t get time off. He didn’t get rest. He just kept going until he was done. Sometimes he’d keep working after that. It depended on what Paul told him to do. And, unfortunately, this is how he lived through the majority of his formative years. It’s how he was ‘raised’, if you can call it that. He won’t realise how long it’s been. He can be out there for hours and hours on end before he even notices it went dark. 

Since we’re on the topic of yard work, there’s another point I want to make. Work becomes a coping method for Taker. It’s not good, it’s not really healthy, considering he does it when he’s hurt, but it’s what works. He doesn’t do well idle. When he was young, Paul would get mad at him for taking a rest. It doesn’t matter if he’s sick or exhausted or hurt, there’s always more work to be done. And if he doesn't do that, the consequences of sitting down were worse than the scars he got from working. … But also, when he was working, he'd usually be left alone. He wasn't getting screamed at if he was alone in the yard or the shop. It was quiet. A lot of the tasks he had to do also involved repetitive motions that he could get lost in, or enough thought that it would take his mind off things. It’s self-soothing. It’s relaxing. It also just helps him burn off the anxious energy. He gets really antsy if he feels nervous or unsafe. You can see it a lot in promos - he paces, he does repetitive movements, his actions become bigger and faster. A caged lion. Sometimes he gets this out of his system by fighting, but he can’t always do that if he’s at home. So he works. Sometimes on his bikes, sometimes on general house tasks and maintenance, sometimes on orders, sometimes on the yard. Just anything that can get him moving and focusing on something else. He doesn’t do well sitting still when he’s anxious (unless he’s full on catatonic, but that’s not an improvement). 

Have I talked about his catatonia yet? It’s not on the list, but it’s worth mentioning. Taker has gone through some shit. Most of it is objectively some of the most awful shit someone could go through. Torture, abuse, poisoning, enslavement, kidnapping, dying, grief, so on and so forth. You name it, it happened. And he doesn’t have the mercy of death to escape it. He just has to endure, and endure, and endure, and endure. And that’s too much for one person, even if that person accidentally metamorphosed into a god. So sometimes, the only thing he can do is shut down and remove himself, mentally, from the situation. He isn't there. It isn’t happening to him. It’s like a TV show he’s watching, but even then, he’s not paying attention to it. Since when the urn is used, he doesn’t have to be mentally present, he forces himself to dissociate back into memories. Before he finds Kane again, he usually uses memories of his childhood. Of being back home with his brother and parents, thinking back to those good times while his body carries out its job without him. After he finds Kane, those memories hurt. After the ministry, those memories are warped. He might still try to use them, but he’s more likely to use memories of other loved ones (if he has them), good times with Kane, things like that. Anything to avoid thinking about how miserable his situation is. He’s not responsive outwardly when he’s doing this. He probably won’t hear you when you talk to him. The lights are on and nobody’s home, if you get me.  It’s like a robot. Watch the old, early 90s clips of him and you’ll see what I mean. It’s rough. 

But it’s the only thing he can do to comfort himself. 

Now we get to the dramatic part. His difficulty with trust and interpersonal relationships. I’ve said before - maybe even in this report, I forget - that Kane and Taker were traumatised in opposite directions. A lot of the time, Kane needs to be around people. He needs their approval. Alone for him meant starvation. Too much alone meant death. Taker is the opposite - for starters, he’s already dead. But it also ties back to how they were raised. Kane got fed a lot of fake love - I love you, son, you need me, son, that kind of thing. Paul needed Kane to be loyal. Taker, though, well, Taker came with the urn. He didn’t need all the lies and pretty talk. He just needed to listen. Paul could be open with the abuse, and he was. Oh, he was. So was everyone else. This isn’t to say that Kane wasn’t abused - he obviously was. It just had different undertones. I’m doing this for your own good, because I love you, versus I’m doing this because it’s funny, because I can. That changes things. Taker has seen the worst of humanity being open about being the worst. People who should have looked out for him didn’t. People who could have stopped it just watched and talked about it. Some of them even cheered it on. Nobody ever came for him. Nobody ever cared. 

He refused to be like that, but he also refused to let anyone get him dragged down like that again. He’ll help people, sure, but he won’t trust them. People respect Taker, people listen to him, people will go to him for help, but he doesn’t have friends. Aside from Kane, there’s nobody he really hangs out with in the locker room. There are some people I can definitely see him getting along with, sure, but in strictly canon, he has no friends. He doesn’t try to make friends. He doesn’t want friends. But people go to him when they need help or advice. That’s what’s so interesting about Taker - he’s good with people, he just doesn’t like being WITH PEOPLE. You can imagine how this makes it for people trying to get close to him. If he doesn’t want you around, you are not allowed near him. You have to prove you’re- Not even safe, worthwhile. Because nobody is safe. Everyone shows their ‘true colours’ eventually. That doesn’t mean they deserve to be hurt (... Most of them), it doesn’t mean they’re beyond redemption (again, most of them), but they’re not his friends. He doesn’t want them to be his friends. If someone is getting closer than he wants them to be, he’s not above chasing them off or shouting them down. He doesn’t need people close to him. That’s just asking to get hurt. He’s had enough of that shit. And even if you do get close, there are still some things that set him on edge and shoot the trust metre back down to zero. For example, don’t tell him what to do. Very few, if any, people have the Give Undertaker Orders privilege (even if they don’t mean it as orders). Like in the ABA era, Chris Jericho comes into the brothers’ dressing room (also a bad mood, Taker is territorial) and asks why Taker wasn’t at the meeting, because most people don’t listen to meetings without him there. They need him. So Taker responds completely rationally by demanding to know who Chris thinks he is, why he thinks he’s allowed in their dressing room, who gave him the right to tell Taker what to do, and by the way, Taker’s been here longer than you’ve been walking, boy, and if you wanna KEEP walking– To the point Kane has to try to reel him back in and it almost doesn’t work. (He actually gets mad at KANE for trying to tell him what to do, though to a much lesser extent than he was at Chris, because Kane is still his precious baby brother.) And the time Kurt Angle tried to plan for the alliance, and both Kane and Taker intimidated him out of the room and as soon as he was gone, Taker took over. (And people actually listened, but that’s beyond the point.) Or Vince when WCW was invading. Vince goes hey, I’m putting together a team to stop an invading force, here’s my passionate speech about teamwork, and Taker replies no, you’re useless, your entire team is useless, Kane and I are going to do it by ourselves. Taker does not respond well to being told what to do. Now, there are some exceptions. If he genuinely respects and trusts you - which is a number so small you can usually count it on one hand - he’s a bit more agreeable. If you’re someone he wants to protect, he’s more gentle. For example, when Stephanie is getting away from Hunter, Taker very deliberately puts her in the position of power. He holds ropes for her, gets her microphone, doesn’t talk during her promos (just stands guard), and, on Valentines’ Day, he says to her to tell her which of Hunter’s body parts she wants him to bring, and nods and agrees when she asks for his heart. If you can get him to come to the conclusion on his own, he might be more amicable. If he thinks there’s no other choice, and he’s resigned to deal with whatever it is, he’ll listen, he’ll just be mad about it. But by and large he hates being told what to do. His freedom was something he fought long and hard for, and that he knows can be taken away whenever his luck goes sour. It’s safer to just let him do his own thing. 

Then there are the panic attacks. Taker, canonically, has a panic disorder. He talks about it during his first recount of what happened the night of the fire - how his chest ached, he couldn’t breathe, the room felt like it was spinning, he felt nauseous, his heart was racing, so on and so forth. Given that he was being forced to look at the corpse of his mother, I think it’s a reasonable response. And, given that things only got worse from there, I think he still has it. It actually takes him a lot to get up to a full-blown panic attack. The only time we’ve really seen it happen 100% in the ring is when Kane came back for the first time. I’ll never get over his face in that segment. He was ruined. But again, a reasonable response - he thought Kane was dead for 20 years. He mourned, he grieved, and there’s his beloved baby brother, impossibly tall and ruthlessly strong and oh, yeah, Kane hates him. I’d have a breakdown too. He gets close sometimes, though. You can usually tell when he’s in a ‘panic spiral’ - not a full-blown attack, but boy howdy are his nerves being TRIED. The first sign is that he gets very… Antsy. Very jittery. He paces, he fidgets, he moves around, his gestures get bigger. He gets louder. He’ll try to get in the space of whatever’s freaking him out if it’s a person, trying to intimidate them (or eventually beat them) into submission. He gets kind of erratic in his thoughts and all around is just nervous energy made manifest… In a 6’10 pro fighter who also happens to be a warlock and the incarnation of Death. The worse it gets, the closer he gets to catatonia. It’s almost funny to watch. You can see him spike all the way into a savage, ruthless, sadistic warpath where nobody is saved, and then if it gets worse, he crashes down to shrinking in on himself, isolating himself, and shutting down. Which side of the coin he leans towards depends on which era he’s in. Early Taker will go right past the anger and into the quiet shut-down stage. This is what was safe. He wasn’t allowed to show emotions when he was ‘owned’ by Paul, or Ted, or Love, or anyone else. If he wasn’t ordered to sit still and shut up, he would’ve been punished for any ‘unsightly’ behaviour. They paid good money for him, you know. (Paul didn’t. But that’s not the point, the point is he ought to behave himself.) Biker Taker is more likely to use his temper as a shield, and only fall back into the silent, shut-down panic when it’s very severe. Late stage Deadman can go either way. Underneath that, the chest constriction and breathing difficulties are what he feels first. Then he gets dizzy and nauseous. Sometimes he can also get headaches and feel unsteady. A great way to tell if he’s mad/just quiet or panicking is to watch his hands. If he’s just mad, his hands are steady. If he’s just minding his own, his hands are steady. If he’s panicking, his hands shake. Again, for him the signs are subtle, because they had to be. Now, what do you do if you notice Taker panicking? Easy - leave. Chances are, you’re not someone he considers safe enough to rely on. There are very few of those. In some cases, even the people he thinks of as ‘safe’ aren’t people he wants to have see him like that. Kane, for example, when they’re getting along, is someone Taker trusts implicitly. But Kane is his little brother. Kane needs him to be strong. He can’t break down, Kane needs him. He can’t be traumatised, Kane needs him. 

He’s.

Fine. 

Now, if you are someone he trusts to see him vulnerable, the best thing you can do is give him space. He will come to you if he needs you. Like I said, he feels safest when he’s alone. He needs to decompress, he gets very touch-averse, everything gets Too Much, he will go off on his own. It’s best to respect this. If he does come to you, he’ll at the very least give some kind of signal as to what he wants. If he wants physical touch, he’ll lean on you or pull you in. If he wants to talk about something (generally not what’s bothering him, but who knows), he’ll start the conversation. If he wants food, he’ll probably get it himself, but if he wants you to eat with him, he’ll offer you some. As long as he’s not completely shut down, he’s decent enough at communicating. Just don’t do anything he doesn’t initiate. That’s a surefire way to have him not trust you again. 

Okay, onto his guilt complex, for lack of a better word. Ever since the fire, Taker was told that everything was essentially his fault. If the home was suffering financially, it was because he wasn’t working hard enough. If he couldn’t complete often-impossible volumes of work orders, it was because he didn’t know what he was doing. If Paul yelled at him, it was because he was stupid. He was a disgrace. His parents would be so ashamed of him. Maybe it’s a good thing they died– And so on and so forth. A lot of these ‘scoldings’, or instances of verbal/psychological/emotional abuse, came with physical punishments as well. Enough treatment like that takes its toll; eventually, you start to believe it. You hear it enough and it becomes true. It’s his fault. Everything is always his fault. There are other factors that add to this, too. Firstly, even before he gets his thoughts scrambled, Taker was involved in the incident he believed was responsible for the fire. He didn’t SET the fire (and unbeknownst to him, the entire thing was just a coincidence, not the cause), but he was involved, and after losing his family, he needed someone to blame. It had to be someone’s fault. He was twelve, he was scared, he was grieving, he couldn't handle the idea that he lost his home and family through some freak accident. That it just happened. He had to blame someone and he chose himself. And then there's the conversation he had with his dad right before the fire. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, JT and Adam/Taker had very different interpretations of what that talk meant. For JT, the talk was ‘please think before you use your innate magic powers on the dangerous chemicals. And please think even more than that before you get your brother in on it’. It's pretty reasonable. Adam/Taker, given that was the last conversation he had with his father, internalised it as ‘you have to protect your little brother you have to look out for your little brother if anything happens to Kane it’s on you’. A VERY EXTREME response. And, as we know, things did very much happen to Kane. A lot of things. So it’s his fault. All of it is his fault. 

And this is a great segue into his next and most prominent problem: His own version of an obsession with Kane. It’s not that he thinks Kane can do no wrong; he’s called little brother out before, to some extent. It’s that he can’t stay mad at Kane. He also has a very high threshold - especially compared to how he is with other people - for how far Kane has to push him before he gets mad. He will always be looking out for Kane, no matter the situation. Even if it means putting himself at risk. Even if it means getting hurt or killed or losing something or someone else important to him. Kane always comes first, before anything else. Anything. Kane always comes first. In a timeline where they were plunged into medical debt, Taker sold his bikes for Kane. In canon - something confirmed by Mark and Glenn in the Last Ride docuseries - Taker, for a while, named himself after his brother (who he thought was dead) so nobody would forget him - hence why he debuted as ‘Kane the Undertaker’. He’s given Kane his food (or tried; Kane brushes him off sometimes, which shows that, most times, the affection goes both ways). It took months of abuse and the defilement of two (technically three) corpses before he agreed to fight Kane, even though Kane was demanding it. He didn’t want to hurt his baby brother until he had no other option, and until he learned that was the only way to get through to Kane sometimes. When Kane is hurt, Taker hovers around him and tries his best to comfort him. When he’s nonverbal, Taker translates for him. When Kane is stuck in an abusive relationship, Taker tries to talk him out of it and leaves the door open for him to come back home when he’s ready. Kane’s the only person whose jokes Taker laughs at, even if he rolls his eyes the entire time. He said in the middle of a promo, standing dead centre of the ring lips to the mic, that Kane was the only thing in his life that made him truly happy (and likewise, Kane has said before that Taker is his favourite person). Kane is his only surviving immediate family member, his tag partner, his baby brother, his best friend, the other half of his soul. Also in the Last Ride (since it's really the first time they talked out of character), Glenn and Mark described the brothers as intertwined, part of each other, and not doing well when separated. They need each other. And that means for Taker, nobody else is as important as Kane. Not him, not anybody. If he has to die for Kane, he will; if he has to live for Kane, he will. He can forgive anything Kane does to him and he can’t forgive anything done to Kane. I would argue that Kane is more of his greatest weakness than the urn is. If you have the urn, yes, he has to obey  you, but only physically. He’ll only do exactly what you tell him to while you have the urn. He’s not putting in any extra effort. The older he gets, the more likely he is to lash out as soon as there’s a window. Once he has a chance, you put that urn down, he’s acting for himself again. He’s learned. But if you have Kane, well, that’s different. He’d hesitate. He hates even the thought of doing something to endanger Kane, so if it means Kane is safe, he’d rather endure the suffering. He’ll still try to find a way out, sure, but it’s more important to him that Kane is safe. 

Okay, this is the one last thing I’m going to touch on, but it kind of relates to Taker’s fixation on looking after his brother and Kane’s just all-around fixation on his brother, so I’m mentioning it now that they’re both done. 

The first time Kane killed Taker, he didn’t really know his brother was immortal. He thought his brother was gone forever. He thought that’s what he wanted. … And then Taker came back. And since then, Kane has killed Taker multiple times. He’s broken Taker’s bones and left him limping, bloody, and essentially homeless. Kane beat him into a coma and left him in a parking lot, either to bleed out or for someone to find him. Now, granted, this was all happening during the many time periods that Kane was being manipulated and groomed by the man who abused him so bad he was mute for twenty years, but it still happened. And Taker forgave him, partly because he recognizes it as Paul’s doing, and partly because it’s Kane, and as I mentioned, he cannot stay mad at Kane. As you can imagine, this had a major impact on their dynamic. We know that, at his core, Kane does not actually want his brother gone. We know this based on the actions and words we get from him when he’s not being manipulated. I think there was a time when he did want to kill Taker, when the only information he got about his brother was through Paul, but not anymore. We can get further evidence of this based on the way Kane reacts when he puts Taker into a coma. This is a very smart thing for Kane to do. He’s won. Taker isn’t dead, so he can’t come back. As long as they keep him on life support, and as long as he stays unconscious, he’s out of the game. Kane has won. And he responds to this victory by having a complete mental collapse. He holds a funeral, ends up literally collapsing, screaming, sobbing in the ring, forgets that he did it, decides he’s going to find out who’s responsible and murder them, and starts yelling that he should have been there to protect Taker “like you’ve always been there for me”. He lost his brother and it shattered him. So he doesn’t want Taker gone… But he keeps trying to kill him. Again, it’s when he’s unstable and manipulated, but it also carries the undertone of the most fucked up part of their relationship. Kane doesn’t see killing Taker as being as serious as it is (unless someone else does it, then it’s the worst crime you can commit). Again, when he’s lucid, he doesn’t like Taker being hurt, but it’d be wrong to say that when he’s gone bad, he doesn’t use his brother as a punching bag. He can vent that way. He’s not always proud of it, but on the other hand, twenty-plus years of obsessive hatred isn’t something you let go of easily. It’s also the one edge Kane really has over Taker in a fight. Statistically, if the brothers fight, Taker has a 60% chance of winning (roughly), Kane has a 20% chance of winning, and there’s a 20% chance of it being a tie. Taker is far and away the better fighter. … But he will never go as far as Kane will. Taker will never kill Kane because Kane is his little brother, and he loves him, and Taker can never follow the people who die. Kane will kill Taker because, as far as he knows, Taker is responsible for the fire, and besides, Taker will come back. If he doesn’t, Kane gets the revenge he thinks he wanted. If he does, no harm done. It’s fine.

This also brought me into something I almost forgot - Taker’s hang-ups with saying goodbye to people. More specifically, with people dying (or otherwise exiting his life) without saying goodbye. By the time he’s reached the Federation, he’s in his early-mid twenties. His father, mother, and younger brother all died suddenly. He was permanently separated from his first love through a tragic accident. He lost all of them without warning and without any goodbye. A lot of things were left unresolved. Additionally, who his family is combined with the nature of his curse means that he knows, for a tangible, provable fact, that afterlives exist. He knows that there’s a heaven, a hell, a purgatory, and countless others. And he knows he can never be a part of them. He can traverse hell, but he can’t stay there. He can never cross the gates of Heaven, full stop. He knows the people he loves most are, or will be, on the other side of eternity, and he will never get to see them again. So, yes, you’ll have to forgive him if he gets a bit protective, and a bit upset at the idea of the people he loves dying unexpectedly or before their time.

As for how he deals with it, the name of the game is deny, deny, deny. Like I said before, he’s fine. He refuses to admit he’s got anything bad going on with his mental health, he’ll just rub some metaphorical dirt in it. He throws himself into his work, be that the yard, the workshop, or the ring, to an unhealthy degree. He bottles things up until his inevitable catastrophic breakdowns - see Big Evil for one - and when it culminates in his self-destructive death, he just comes back and pretends it never happened. He engages in self-harm tendencies when it gets bad, as I mentioned. If it gets really bad, he drinks, though it’s something he works to get better from in any timeline where he falls into that particular hole. He uses the ring as a way to feel more in control of his life, combating the feeling of powerlessness that a life of abuse and slavery left him with using the fact that he’s one of the biggest, strongest, baddest, scariest motherfuckers in the squared circle, and everyone else there knows it. Sometimes, he uses his partners to feel better - in the sense that he doesn’t always feel like HE has the right to need rest or a break, but if they look tired, he might sit or lie down with them for a bit, and the idea of someone in his house who he WANTS to have around can help him feel safer (and let’s not forget him counting Steve’s heartbeats at night to ground himself when his thoughts get too loud). He manages until he doesn’t. 

(Also I’m fairly sure he’s undiagnosed ADHD and self-medicates with repetitive physical labour and high-intensity activities, oops.) 

Anyway, I’m pretty sure I missed a lot, but you asked me this months ago and it’s thirty pages long. 

Whoops.

[brothersgrim]

COMFORT PROMPTS

@hauntogenic asked: [ nightmare ] sender wakes receiver up from a nightmare   —   probably not waking him up but cody comforting kane after a nightmare :/ 

He doesn’t remember what happened. Sometimes he does; not now. Not now. Not now. All he knew was that it was loud, it was bright, it was dark, it was endless, it was constricting. Hands, voices, yelling, clawing, dragging. 

And then he was sitting up.

And then he was in bed. 

Not his bed, not at home, but a hotel bed in– Where were they? Where– Where was this? He looks around, lost, frantic, hands gripping tight fists against the soft linen sheets. 

Click. 

Before Kane’s blurred vision can make sense of the dark, a light cuts on. A blinding yellow rectangle in the gloom. He flinches back. It’s instinctive. Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad. He’s sorry– 

“Hey.” The silhouette in the door raises something to its head. A clipboard? A jacket? A– It wiped the object against its head.

A towel. It was just a towel. Because they were in… Not a hospital. This wasn’t a hospital, was it? 

Where was he? 

“Did I wake you?” The figure in the door says, and it’s Cody’s voice. And Cody had never been at the hospitals. He’d never been, so they weren’t there. They were… The overhead light clicked on as Kane’s fists clenched around the sheets. (Soft cotton, not the thin paper he’d grown used to.) 

…

A hotel.

This was a hotel. And he was here with Cody. He looks around the room without seeing, without letting go of the sheets. It’s a hotel. They’re in a hotel. And he– Cody steps forward and Kane flinches back. Cody stops. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. Kane does not answer. He's not sure that he can. Cody carefully, slowly, deliberately sets the towel down on one of the nightstands that decorate the room. “It's just me. It’s just us here. Is it okay if I head over there?” For a moment, Kane does nothing. Is it okay? … Then he nods once. It’s okay if it’s Cody; Cody is safe. Cody has always been safe. Cody moves closer and sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Bad dream?” He asked, and yes, that’s all it was, right? It was just a dream, it wasn’t real, it was over now, right? It was a dream. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t. 

But it felt real. The hands on his arms. His shoulders. His throat. He swallowed and it didn’t help. His mouth still felt like ash. Words still drowned out by phantom soot. It felt real. And once, it had been real. That had to mean something, right? It had to count for something. It had to.

“You wanna tell me about it?” Cody asked. Kane shook his head. He wasn’t sure he could if he wanted to, and not because of the forced silence he was grappling with. How could he even begin to explain this? How could Cody ever understand? 

“Do you want a hug?” Cody tried again. … This one, Kane had to think about. Yes, he would like one. It would help. He felt like he was falling apart, like he didn’t fit in his own body, like it would implode outward and then collapse into a black hole and he would be powerless to stop it. … But Cody would get hurt. He could feel the sheets singing in his grasp. He could smell the faint whisps of smoke already starting to curl upwards. If Cody touched him, he would get burned. He could not let Cody get burned. His hands shake, but he fumbles out a few signs regardless. He doesn’t look up through the hair in front of his face, so he can only rely on Cody’s voice to see if the message gets across. 

“Not… Hurt… You.” … Close enough. Cody sighs and the sheets rustle again. “You won’t hurt me, Kane. I trust you.” And Cody’s hand reaches out. And Kane stares at it. And Kane does not pull away. Cody waits a moment longer, gauging the reaction, then leans forward and rests his palm on Kane’s shoulder.

“See?” He said, scooting closer. “I’m fine. You aren’t hurting me.” And that alone is so bizarre that it distracts Kane from the horrors he’d been drowning in. It doesn’t make sense. Cody should be hurt. Cody should be screaming. Cody should hate him. But Cody was fine. Cody was perfectly fine, and slowly easing into Kane’s lap. He wasn’t hurt. The weight and pressure of his partner being so close is grounding, is reassuring, but he should… He should be hurt. 

“It’s okay; we’re okay.” Cody cooed, nuzzling against his shoulder. His hands found their way to Kane’s back, tracing slow, gentle shapes. “I’m right here in this hotel, and you’re here with me.” But Cody was fine. … They were both fine. Kane tucked his face into Cody’s neck, and Cody turned his head just enough to press a kiss to Kane’s temple before working his fingers through Kane’s hair. 

“We’re okay.” 

And Kane can only nod, and hold on tighter.

[brothersgrim]

Send REUNION to get a headcanon about my muses' family! || ACCEPTING

Anonymous asked: reunion x2! 

In the Valdis clan at large, it’s common to have a lot of kids. Three to four is the global average. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, it’s very rare that any member of their family dies of old age. It’s more likely to be something occult (or otherwise Not Natural), infighting, a workplace accident, or something like that. They lead dangerous lives, and someone needs to remain to take care of the yard when the dust settles. It’s also usually to help with the responsibilities around their respective yards. It’s a lot of work, and not just anyone can do it. Especially with larger or more dangerous yards, having a lot of extra hands helped a lot. There were also responsibilities OUTSIDE of the yard that needed tending to. Communications with other magical locals, dealing with roaming monstrosities, running whatever businesses need to be run, that sort of thing. Sometimes, though, the nest gets a little too crowded, and people need to branch off on their own. Technically, a Valdis doesn’t have to be a grave digger (at least not that far down the family line). If you’re far enough down that the yard is out of the picture for you (assuming your yard IS a yard), a wandering Valdis might become an exorcist, a more general carpenter or stonemason, enter into religion, and one or two have even tried their hand at being TV/radio psychics and putting on seances for money. You gotta do what you gotta do. 

The Cowell family are the proud owners of Green River Ranch, just outside of Houston. They’ve owned it for generations - started the damn thing themselves. They primarily specialise in beef cattle, but have also started a small herd of bison, as well (it’s just starting off by the time of the fire, though it was something they’d talked about since just before JT left home). They also have some horses that they use for herding, some LGDs, a barn cat that’s not really THEIRS but won’t leave, and a few chickens, but yeah - they’re cow people. It’s pretty lucrative, too. If they knew their nephews were alive, they’d probably be able to help them out a bit, but, whatever.

[brothersgrim]

RANDOM ASKS || ALWAYS ACCEPTING!

Anonymous asked: Hey. Kane any funny memories from being corporate kane 

“Funny memories?” He repeats, tilting his head to the side. “Well, there was the time I dragged Seth to Hell. That was fun.” He says with a grin. “I won Money in the Bank, I got my own bathroom… I miss that bathroom.” The grin fades to a frown as he crosses his arms. “If my brother ever decides to update the funeral home, I want my own bathroom.” 

“Oh, and I drove Triple H and Stephanie to question their own sanity. There were a few office parties that weren’t bad. … And my brother went with me to help me pick out suits.”

[brothersgrim]

OLD MEMES JAY IS FINALLY ANSWERING!

@cultservate asked: "I can't help it, but I still wish I was with you." ( priest to kane )

He looks up and tilts his head. What had brought that on? … No, seriously. What was this about? He glances up from his coffee with a grunt. Priest looks run down. Haggard, even. In the words of his brother, ‘boy looks like hot shit’. He turns his gaze back to his coffee and takes another sip. It’s warm, bitter. He can’t say that it tastes good, but he can’t say that it tastes bad, either. He’s had worse. After a moment, he decides to take pity on Priest. He stands, pulls a mug from the cupboard, and pours a second cup of coffee. He sets the mug down and returns to his chair before he speaks. 

“Let me guess.” He says, nodding his head once before looking up at Priest. “Judgement Day?”

[brothersgrim]

Send 💭 to see one of my muse's memories! || ACCEPTING

Anonymous asked: 💭

He likes this truck. It goes fast. It’s bright red. Red is a cool colour, even if Kane prefers green. Still, he likes this truck. 

“Where is he?” A voice calls. Kane tenses. Oh no. Oh no. He stares at the door. Please don't be looking for him. Let it be someone else. But it’s not someone else. It never is. The footsteps get louder. Kane’s eyes dart around the room. Where can he hide it? The truck. He has to hide it. He has to. He has to, he has to, he has to.

“Still in his room, doctor.”

No no no no. Not here. Not now. Not him. Look for someone else. Got to another door. The bed. Under the mattress. Quickly, go, go, go hide it GO– He skins his elbow on the floor when he dives. It stings but he ignores it. The toy truck is wedged under the thin mattress and it's lumpy enough that it isn't obvious. Please don't be obvious. He pulls his hand away and is sitting up just in time for the door to fly open. He recoils. He can’t help it. It’s instinctive. Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad. He’s sorry. He’s sorry, he didn’t mean to–

“Good morning.” The doctor doesn’t look up from their clipboard. Kane doesn’t look away from the doctor. “Or…” The doctor glances at the watch on their wrist. “Good afternoon.” Kane blinks. He says nothing. His heart still pounds in his ears, but he blinks again, and starts to take in details of the doctor’s face. Glasses. This doctor is wearing glasses. There’s just enough glare on the well-polished lenses that Kane can’t see her eyes. He can feel them, though. He can always feel them. Watching, judging, scrutinising. Picking him apart like the specimen he was. They never liked what they saw. The doctor stares at the clipboard again and purses her lips. Her lipstick is bright red, just like the fire truck. 

“Alright. Hugh, Carl, would you mind?” She barely turns her head to speak over her shoulder. Two men in the stark white shirts all the orderlies wore stepped forward. Kane shrank back. He didn’t like Hugh and Carl. He didn’t like any of the orderlies, but them the least. It seemed like they were the ones usually called to deal with him. He knew what his father would say: Behave, son. Just behave. Keep your head down and listen to what they tell you, and I’ll be back for you soon. Please, please, please be back for me soon. 

But soon was not now. Hands on his shoulders. Hauling him to his feet. 

“C’mon, freak. Let’s get moving.” Hugh says, yanking him upwards just off-time enough with Carl that Kane staggered. He wondered if that was on purpose. He’d have to assume it was. 

“Theatre C.” The doctor says, walking ahead of them. Kane’s stride faltered as he tried to remember - what’s in Theatre C? - but hands on his shoulders again kept him moving. “Come along, gentlemen, we are on a schedule.” Her heels clack against the floor, a sharp staccato Kane feels in his teeth. Clack, clack, clack. The lights are so bright. Clack clack clack. The paper shirt scratches against his skin. Clack clack clack. It’s warm. Too warm. Too hot. Too hot. Too hot. 

What is Theatre C?

“Here we are.” The doctor said, finally looking away from her clipboard. Kane stared over her head at the closed double doors. They had windows, but he couldn’t see anything past them. That didn’t make him feel better. What’s in there? What are they going to do to him?

Is it what happened to his neighbour? The one who's screamed every night for what must have been a week? He'd come back after a while with no hair and bandages around his head. He didn't scream anymore. He didn't do much of anything. (Didn’t even get out of the wheelchair he suddenly needed.) Was that what they were going to do to him?

“Hey.” Carl shoved at his shoulder. “Let’s go.” Kane refused to move. No. No, he didn’t want to go in there. He wouldn’t. He–

A sharp blow to his legs sent him staggering forward. 

“Let’s GO.” Kane wasn’t sure who that was. Hugh or Carl, he didn’t know. Couldn’t make out the voice over the thundering of his own pulse. The doors swung closed behind him. 

And he was in Theater C. It was still dark, but not so bad as to be black. The windows must just be tinted. And then there was the chair. Cold metal with leather straps and thick metal buckles. He knew what those were for. God, he knew. He’s shoved forward again, and he knows there’s little point in resisting. Please don’t make it hurt. Please don’t make him like his neighbour. Please don’t. 

“Take a seat.” The doctor said. Kane hesitated a second longer until there were hands on his shoulders again. He flinched. He’d listen. He’d be good. Don’t make it worse. Head down. Behave yourself. 

Would I steer you wrong, son? 

… No. No he wouldn’t. His father loved him. Paul loved him. Paul was the only one who loved him. He had to listen. … It doesn’t stop Kane from shaking as he sat down. Paul loved him. Paul wouldn’t let them hurt him too badly. He wouldn’t. … The straps hurt when they tightened around his wrists. They bit into old scars in a way that itched. He could not move enough to scratch. He tried. 

“There you go, doctor.” Hugh said. Kane couldn’t see him anymore. He couldn’t see Carl, either. It was dark. So dark. So cold. The metal of the chair leeched warmth from his flesh. It was cold. So cold. He didn’t like it. He wanted out. Head down. Behave. Don’t make it worse. (You always make it worse.) 

“What do we have on the tray today, doctor?” Carl asked. The doctor wheeled over some kind of cart with a– What was that? Some kind of box. It looked plastic, and–

“We’ll find out.” The doctor said. She opened the box. Kane tried to crane his head to see what she was getting at, but the leather strap around his forehead tightened. 

“Sit still.” Hugh, this time. It sounded like he was smiling. Kane didn’t like that. The doctor rummaged around in the box and Kane shrank back as much as the chair allowed, which wasn’t much. She pulled out a syringe, he clenched his jaw. This was never good. She set it down on the cart, pulled out another. Oh no. And then… She held up a rectangle. Another mystery. He squinted. Was that a-

Click.

Light flooded his vision. He recoiled so quickly his shoulders slammed into the chair. Or, as much as they could, when he couldn’t move. His eyes were shut and they still hurt. … They were shut, right? It was hard to tell. The light on his face was so blinding he could see it even through the lids. It hurt. It burned. Turn it off. Turn it off. Please turn it off–! But they didn’t turn it off. They ignored his discomfort, as they often did. 

“This is Doctor Anne Waters.” Why was she introducing herself? “Resuming testing procedure for client D-34. Hugh, is he ready?” No, he was not. 

“Almost, doc.” Hugh replies. There’s a wet, stinging sensation on Kane’s bicep. Alcohol. He knows what that means. He’s going to get an injection. An injection of what? He doesn’t know. He tries to squint his eyes open. It’s still bright. It still hurts. He can barely make out the doctor’s silhouette. She's holding something up in her hand. Something narrow and cylindrical. Yes, he knows what comes next. It hurts more if he tenses. He tries to will himself to relax. 

It doesn’t work. 

The doctor steps to the side and stabs the needle into his arm. It stings. He presses his head back against the chair and clenches his jaw. Get it out. Get it out. Get it out, get away, get away get away get away get away– 

“There. Dose administered.” The doctor’s voice. Cold and clinical. “Beginning the observation period.” 

“How long’re we gonna be here, Doc?” Carl asked. 

“As long as we need to.” The doctor leaned in enough that she blocked out the light. Kane growled in spite of himself. Go away. Go away. Go away. The doctor wrinkled her nose and hummed a note. “Subject is showing signs of laboured breathing and perspiration. This may be caused by anxiety.” ‘May’ be. In another situation, he might have laughed. It was such an understatement, it was almost funny. It was absurd. 

It was terrifying. 

What were they doing to him? What was that injection going to do? How long was he going to be here? He tried squirming against the restraint. It didn’t work. His arm hurt. It throbbed. He could feel his pulse, each heartbeat sending a new, dull pain radiating from the injection point. Beat, beat, beat. Ow, ow, ow. Please let him out. Please stop this. Please. His head hurts now, too. Is it because of the light, or how he’s been straining, or-? He squeezes his eyes shut again. It doesn't help. 

“Patient's heart rate is accelerating further.” The doctor said. “And body temperature is…” She stopped. 

“What?” Carl asked. Hugh grunted a similar disinterested confusion. 

“Something wrong?” 

“These instruments make no sense.” She says. Why was her voice so loud? It hurt his head. It hurt his head. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it– 

“-supposed to be properly calibrated before we got here.” The doctor’s voice pierced into the agony that was devouring his senses. Something indistinct off to the side. Kane didn’t listen. Was too busy struggling. Straining. Trying to get out. Out. Out. Out. He couldn’t breathe - chest tight, throat constricting, leather biting into his arms as he fought– 

“--Temperature that high, he’d be dead.” The doctor continued. “These readings are useless. We’re wasting our time.” Dizzy. He’s dizzy. He’s dizzy. His head- No, the whole room is spinning. Spinning, spinning, spinning, he feels– He falls. Drops from the chair and cracks his knees on the cold floor. He barely notices that it hurts. 

“-useless goddamn nurse-” The doctor sounded like she was under water. Everything was spinning. Everything hurt. Everything felt heavy. Everything was– “-again tomorrow.” He could barely make anything out. Kept trying to breathe. Trying to swallow back the bile rising in his throat. Kept trying to figure out which way ‘up’ was.  He blinked. Blinked again. A third time and he still couldn’t see. His vision blurred equally on both sides. He squinted, but it didn’t help. And then there are hands on his shoulders. And he’s tired, so tired. And they pull him to stand and if they weren’t still holding on he’d fall again. And they don’t seem to care. They say something and he still can’t make it out. And now they’re moving. And so is he. The floor is tipping– And so is he. They keep moving. So does he (somewhat). He’s being dragged, mostly. Stumbling over his own feet. Where were they going-? He blinked again and they were there. Here. Somewhere. Where-? A shove on his back. The world was tilting– No, he was. Faster, faster, until the ground caught him. The muffled sound of a door closing. 

Oh. 

Is this his room? The tile feels familiar against his cheek. Cold. It’s cold. It’s comforting. It cuts through the suffocating heat that wracks his body, and he  closes his eyes and clings to it even as his stomach finally revolts. The taste that fills his mouth is violent, vile, putrid, and hangs in the air once the convulsions have stopped and he is finally, finally allowed to rest. He rolls onto his back, then after managing a few rasping breaths, onto his other side. Yes, this is his room. If he squints, he can recognize it. And if he could just find the strength to lift up his arm… 

He could almost reach that truck.

[brothersgrim]

MJF is better than the two of you combined, xoxo.

Anonymously tell me how you feel about me. I can't reply, I just have to read it and post it. || ACCEPTING

[brothersgrim]

AFFECTION MEME

@teardownheaven asked: ❰❰ HAIR ❱❱ sender pushes receiver’s hair away from their face from Meg to Kane <3

Normally, he hates people going near his face. … Normally, he hates people. He thinks that’s justified. He thinks he’s earned the right to hate them. He thinks he’s earned the right to not trust them. 

But he trusts her. 

He does not hate her. 

He loves her. He loves her. He loves her. And it’s enough to calm the fire, for now. To soothe the heat that threatens to eat through his skin and devour the world entire. (Sometimes he wishes it would.) Because he has her. And he cannot let her be hurt. Not now. Not ever. 

And she, in turn, represents painlessness to him. 

And so he turns his face into her palm, wrapping his arms around her waist.

And yes, he has to duck.

[brothersgrim]

SENTENCE STARTERS

@teardownheaven asked: “This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.“ It probably isn't. Ael has had a rather storied life. But it is definitely up there.

… Well, that’s fair. This is a weird situation. It's a weird situation in a long string of weird situations. 

Most situations they find themselves in are weird. It’s part of the job. Part of themselves. Strangeness follows wherever they go, and so they, too, are used to it. But Ael is right - even by their standards, this is weird. 

“We didn’t start it.” Kane said first. The Undertaker nods. For some reason, that seems important to the both of them. 

“It was self defence.” The Undertaker adds. He maintains his stoic demeanour even as broken shards of plaster sprinkle down behind him. (It’s not his ceiling, so he doesn’t see why he should care about its ruined state.) Kane glances over his shoulder, at just about the time one of the men groans in blurred pain, before looking back at Aeleus. 

“... And Pete was in the chicken suit when we found him.”