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🖤 + RINSHIMI

SEND ‘🖤 + PAIRING’ FOR ME TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING

1) my muse’s initial impression of yours

it was difficult to not notice the one kid who kept to herself, even when scepter 4 had brought out the huge bundle of toys and study supplies they'd donated to the orphanage. rin had been a wallflower, clinging only to the weathered walls or to the sisters who went to check on her, and when fushimi, mustering patience as kids scrambled for the bags he'd offered, finally saw her, he felt a sliver of camaraderie. saw his old self in that quiet, blank-faced kid, but not quite. he hadn't been that visibly sad and emptied, he thought.

just before they'd started packing up, he approached her, but kept a solid distance. "hey," he said, then tossed one of the bags at her feet. he then turned away, and no one had to know that he'd stuffed some candies ( -- lieutenant awashima sometimes slipped him some; claimed they're for an energy boost -- ) into the pack.

2) my muse’s favorite physical attribute of yours

her hair. for her first few years in scepter 4, rin really only kept to fushimi, so i could see him developing a habit out of combing out and fixing up her hair for her. he'd grumble about it, of course, but he would studiously learn about how to cut and style a girl's hair for her.

he really likes her smile. it puts a small, enduring bright spot to even his worst days.

3) my muse’s favorite personality attribute of yours

her perseverance. even when it borders stubbornness.

4) a moment that made my muse realize how much they care about yours

when he'd found himself going out of his way to ask about whoever the hell tailors the scepter 4 uniforms, just so he could have them make her a replica of his coat after she'd once gushed about how cool it looked.

5) something my muse never found the words to say to yours

even when they're now at a point where they just know what the other wants to express, no actual words needed, fushimi still finds himself in moments with rin where he just. thinks. thinks of how he can say 'thank you' for everything rin had opened up for him. for teaching him how to care for someone to such a depth; for allowing his walls to fall, if at least to her; for helping him heal some deep-seated scars alongside her -- for everything.

6) something my muse wishes they had never said to yours 

there are too many -- too painful -- to list down. he's already so indiscriminately abrasive, but it gets so much worse when he has those days. and while one could assume that their closeness would spare rin from the sharpness of his tongue, on the contrary, it loads him with more lethal ammunition, and i can see more than a handful of nights where he says too much, cutting when he doesn't really mean to, and rin recedes back into her childhood shell, and fushimi digs himself into deeper pits of regret and self-hatred.

but thus far, they've always patched things up. it makes fushimi hold this growing mass of guilt tighter to his chest.

just say the word and mayhaps we can write or discuss one of these nights hahahaha....

7) something your muse does that makes mine feel safe 

when she keeps the perfect amount of distance from him. rin undoubtedly has the best understanding of fushimi's boundaries and comfort zones, so he silently appreciates it when she can respect his personal bubble while effectively asserting that she's there for him. it's the first instance of him being 'seen' where he feels it's more comforting than damning.

8) something your muse does that makes mine smile

...an incriminating amount of things, so he would really rather not let me name them lololol. rin's cheerfulness is just so damn transparent and infectious that fushimi can cite several examples where he'd had to fight back a smile.

9) something my muse wants to protect yours from 

loss. he isn't always the best at showing as much, but he's dead-set on protecting rin from experiencing anything that even slightly mirrors what she'd gone through before they'd met in the orphanage.

10) ways my muse says ‘i love you’ without saying those words

in the small gifts and in the smaller gestures. he puts a ridiculous amount of thought to what he gives rin, and more often than not the gifts are hand-made in a certain fashion. and with how he's the worst with physical affection, he'd like to think that the times where he's initiating contact ( -- a pat on the back here, a bout of hair ruffling there, an awkward, loose hug whenever she seems to need it from him -- ) counts as much.