#//Also quotes from 'love story by indila' because

[kibo-no-akademi]

Il, il n'est pas fou Il l'aime c'est tout

Based on KOTTERI!'s art from the comic "Veil".

[shifting-with-august]

Tagged by @winterbarnesblog

Tagging: @thanossnap @gaiaexploreslife @herashifts

go-to snack at convenience store — I'm not a snack kind of person at convenience stores. I always grab drinks instead! I always go for the chocolate milks or coffee! I don't grab snacks often but when I do, I usually get some cookies and cheesy snacks.

favourite type of clown — my favorite type of clown? Idk, me! 🤣 I clown about a lot of stuff, I'm delulu as heck.

height — I'm literally ✨ smol ✨ I'd say I'm 5 flat. 😭😭😭

favourite song right now — "Love Story" by Indila (specifically the orchestral version.) The "I love you or..." trend has got me. I've been seeing a lot of those posts and it's the background song so it kinda grew on me. Alsooo, "You're Losing Me" by Tay!

favourite item of clothing & where i got it — I have this jacket that I received as a gift from my sister. It's a little tight on me now but I really love it because my sister specifically bought it so "I can have something to wear on the Pride March." It's a red jacket with little patterns of other colors like green, and yellow. Aside from that, I LOVE LOVE my marvel clothes! Like, all of them. I always get them from a mall nearby. Whenever we head there, my fam knows that we'll always end up heading to that marvel tees section 🤭

last movie/show i watched & enjoyed — I recently watched The Marvels and contrary to the opinion of some people, I was actually happy and satisfied after watching it. The following week after watching The Marvels, I saw The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and I loved it too!

last movie/show i watched & hated — idk honestly. If there's something I watched recently that I didn't like, I really wouldn't want to remember. 😭

thing you have no use for but refuse to throw out — OOOHH great question. I have a LOT. I'm just really a sentimental person. I try to keep even the silliest and smallest of things. I have a lot of receipts stashed in some purse and bag pockets. I don't even know why I don't wanna throw them out (even those from yeaaars ago.) Well, I guess some of my receipts are pretty memorable, like my receipt for the first big volleyball game I watched when I was 13 or something. ALSO, MOVIE TICKETS/RECEIPTS! I'm sure there are other stuff aside from receipts, I just can't recall.

have you ever met your great-grandparents? — I was able to meet my great-grandmother when I was younger.

favourite flower — This is gonna sound so damn common but my favorite would be roses. Alsooo, orchids!

favourite quote — "Winners are not people who never fail, but people who never quit." It's a quote I found online 8 years ago and it has been stuck in my head since.

what super power would you pick if you could have one — technically... I already have not just one in my DR. 😆 But let's go with telekinesis.

fictional character i would most want to meet — she's definitely not fictional (she's literally my girl 😏)...but for the sake of it, let's say Wanda. 😇 ALSO, I'd love to meet Wednesday Addams, Buffy Summers (I literally grew up watching BTVS and always copied Buffy's fighting moves), and probably Merida!

[dansiere]

FIVE SONGS

list five songs associated with your muse and its meaning to them as a character, or to you as the writer. this can be applied in-character or out-of-character. it can go as deep as looking at the song’s real-world origins or meaning along with the themes it carries to the muses’ story, values, or experiences, or as simple as if your muse would listen to this kind of music, or even if you just listen to these pieces for inspiration.

TAGGED BY: @handspoken, who kinda hates me? Just kidding I love you okay. TAGGING: @rosiqe, @citialiin, @absolutia, @huntershowl, @blossomingbeelzebug, @foxcharmed, @noirtux, @hiskniight, @ndeavor, @kissafist, @ahsterism (muse of your choice!), @carvedbones, @enshijou & @ettards. -- steal it, honestly. It is a great meme.

01. Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell Moons and Junes and ferries wheels, the dizzy dancing way that you feel as every fairy tale comes real. I've looked at love that way. 

I have probably talked about this song so often already but BOY where do I start? I was watching “Love Actually” & Both Sides Now started playing; it’s the scene where Karen (Emma Thompson) almost breaks down & cries while realizing that her relationship is a farce, that she has been foolish & blind & delusional. It continues with her doing her absolute best to calm herself down, to not collapse but function instead; she pretends she is fine, fearing that she might ruin her family’s Christmas party otherwise. It’s a raw, emotional scene unfolding itself while Joni sings about how she came to realize that everything has two sides; the very thing we dream off, aka we imagine / how we wish things are & the harsh reality. No song could ever express Pearl’s delusion with life & love [but also realizing one’s naivity] better than this one; the aspect of pretending that she is fine in order to not ruin her family’s lives with her agony fits excruciatingly well too. -- in fact, the stanza “I have looked at love from both sides now, from give and take & still somehow it’s love’s illusions that I recall. I really don’t know love at all” has been my blog description for months & I won’t change it any time soon. Additionally, this song is about growth & personal change sung with a certain candidness that words can’t really describe  -- this song single-handedly inspired me to create this blog, ngl.

02. Dernière Danse - Indila Oh my sweet torment, no point in fighting, you start again. I'm just a worthless being, without [her] I'm troubled. I wander around alone on the subway, a last dance: To forget my great misery. I want to get away, everything to start again.

Number two on my list is a bit of an oddity; it is the song that inspired me to change my URL & bottom header quote. I have always related this song to Pearl basically because it SOUNDS cheerful, has a more upbeat melody & seems positive enough on the outside; however, upon looking at the lyrics & understanding what the artist actually sings about you may or may not get chills. It’s literally a song about losing oneself, misery & the horrid feeling of loneliness after loss all wrapped up in some funky & cheery melody. It seems rather SURREAL at first & upon translating the lyrics you might believe Google is messing with you but... no. The cheery intro fools you, just how Pearl fools everyone in believing that she is a-okay. -- the song grows more & more serious / dramatic with the melody / beat becoming “heavier” over time. While still rather peppy, you can tell that something is wrong the second the background choir kicks in. -- needless to say, I consider the lyrics to be a reference to Pearl’s extreme directionlessness, her lack of purpose, severe lethargy & how she lost herself in her misery.

03. Dark Paradise - Lana Del Rey And there's no remedy for memory your face Is like a melody, it won't leave my head. Your soul is hunting me and telling me That everything is fine, but I wish I was dead.

At first, I wanted to use this meme as an excuse to gush on & on about It’s Over, isn't it? but then I remembered that Dark Paradise is a thing. Lana Del Rey simply had to be on here due to her habit of utterly & completely romanticizing tragic romance & death to an almost unhealthy degree. Pearl is guilty of the same issue. -- glorifying things you should absolutely not glorify. Dark Paradise deals with the loss of true love & the trauma that follows; not being able to move on, not being able to let go, blind devotion, stuck in the same grief, the same melancholy, the same subtle craving for death (through drowning). It’s haunting really, but these are topics that not only fit Pearl aesthetically but also motif wise. The largest part of her season 1 - 3 arc dealt with her grief over losing Rose & her inability to overcome her trauma in that regard. Dark Paradise strikes that nerve & expresses that despair rather accurately. 

04. Blinding - Florence and the Machine And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack All around the world was waking, I never could go back Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn wide open And finally it seemed that the spell was broken.

I wanted to add a song that might describe Pearl’s mentality more; something from Sleeping At Last, Aurora or Sia maybe, but given how I have been gushing about Florence & the Machine lately, I felt like I had to include them because of their extreme Pearl-esque aesthetic alone. Blinding is massive. It shakes you to the core & drags you along, whenever you want it or not. Its heavy percussion & lyrics, the REALIZATION hit you like a truck; I have always associated this song with the moment Pearl realizes who she is. May it be before the war or after "Now We Are Only Falling Apart". It has a revolutionary feeling to it: she wakes up from her Homeworld induced trance & breaks her conditioning, she wakes up from her lethargy & takes a stand for herself. It works either way, really. 

05. The Fantasy - 30 Seconds to Mars Do you live, do you die, do you bleed for the fantasy? In your mind, through your eyes, do you see? It's the fantasy Maybe, tonight we can forget about it all: it could be, just, like heaven. I am a machine: no longer living, just a shell of what I dreamed.

I needed a renegade song; something fast & aggressive; this one had the perfect vibe. The Fantasy it is loud, emotional, gritty & chaotic; it’s fast-paced, it’s desperate. It opposes all Past Pearl is supposed to stand for. It builds up, it swells, grows more & more apoplectic over time. -- “Dying for the fantasy” is another big motif on this blog; in fact, her dream / fantasy controls most of her early life to the point where it becomes an obsession. -- this song embodies the very compulsive drive she had, once. Reaching for a Golden Future that eventually turns out to be “just a shell of what she dreamt”; the fairytale that almost cost her her life in the end.

06. Honourable Mentions songs I need to list somewhere or I will burst.

Running Up that Hill - Kate Bush, Eight & Three - Sleeping At Last, Falling Infinite & Strangelove - Black Math, Everything I wanted - Billie Eilish, Send in the Clowns - Barbra Streisand, Bird Set Free - Sia, God is a Woman (cover) & Infections of a Different Kind - Aurora, Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benata,  Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars, Love Lockdown (Cover) & Pork Soda - Glass Animals,  One Match & Romeo - Until the Ribbon Breaks, Over the Love & Hardest of Hearts - Florence & the Machine, Beautiful Crime - Tamer, Truth Is a Beautiful Thing - London Grammar, Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin, Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys, Far too Young to Die - Panic!At the Disco, Cut the Cord - Shinedown, The War - SYML  & Reborn - Talos.