#//Dropping this Immediately after THAT plot bunny bc yes lol

[dutybcrne]

Alhaitham has a tendency to accidentally squish his partner's face into lil ducklips in gently grabbing their face and trying to steal a kiss, but will always get so distracted by how cute he thinks his partner looks like that, he'd forget why he even did that in the first place.

[trensu]

Episode 7: The One where At Last LWJ Sees the Light

We’re still in the cave of wonders, guys, and lan yi is doing plot exposition so we’re gonna skip that

Once Lan Yi is done laying down Plot, we have this cute exchange

Lwj: elder, as your descendent i pinky promise to complete this Super Important Mission 

Wwx: oh, same, me too!

Lwj: this is a LAN FAMILY MATTER and none of your business

Wwx: YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM HELPING

Wwx: and besides, since my grandmaster was besties with your ancestor that means that it’s practically my family matter too, so there

YOU’RE ALSO MARRIED NOW GUYS, REMEMBER, SO IT’S A FAMILY MATTER EITHER WAY

And now, drumroll please…

Our beautiful boys tumble out of the cave of wonders (while still tied together!!) and crash land onto the ground, with wwx oh so conveniently sprawled on top of lwj

THAT’S RIGHT GUYS

IT’S THAT TROPE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Lol lwj’s stunned face here

Wwx: I DIDN’T MEAN TO FALL ON YOU…! Oh hi jiang cheng

yep, jc’s here to ruin the moment (i love you jc, but you have horrible timing)

Wwx is so happy to see his brother, he greets him immediately and completely forgets about the fact that he and lwj are in a…compromising position

It’s adorable, really

Lwj: *glares with every ounce of Repressed Gay Rage in his body* GET UP RIGHT NOW.

Wwx: oh, right sure *totally unruffled bc he is shameless*

At this point we cut to the next scene which is still in the same place and with the same characters but now lwj has his ribbon back on his forehead

Ngl i’m kinda bummed we didn’t see him untie their wrists

It would’ve been hilarious since jc and wen qing wouldve been watching it all happen lol

like, i’m just picturing wq and jc being awkwardly silent as lwj unravels his ribbon from wwx’s wrist. wwx’s eyes would ofc be glued on lwj and he’d be babbling some inane thing or another

but we didn’t get that. oh well.

Oh, and here we find out that lwj and wwx were in that cave for one day and one night

Now that lwj is all put together again, we see wwx, jc, and wq have a conversation that i think counts as a wangxian moment

Jc and wq both start throwing questions at our boys about where they’ve been and what they were doing and all that

Lwj looks very uncomfortable about all the questions.

Lans don’t lie (supposedly; lwj is such a stickler at this point in his life he def doesn’t lie)

So wwx swoops in to ~rescue~ him!!

He answers all the questions by lying thru his teeth: oh yeah, we got lost and trapped and swam for hours and hours in an underground, waterlogged maze that definitely exists before we finally found a way out!! I almost froze to death (he says with a whine bc that’s just how he is lol)

Once he finishes answering all those questions he turns to share THE CUTEST LITTLE SECRET SMILE WITH LWJ. SO ADORABLE GUYS, HOW IS HE REAL

Lwj sees it and HAS TO LOOK AWAY

I CAN’T EVEN BLAME HIM BC IF WWX SMILED AT ME LIKE THAT (WITH HIS CUTE LITTLE BEAUTY MARK IN FULL VIEW!!) I WOULD’VE DIED.

JUST DROPPED TO THE GROUND DEAD.

IT’S TOO MUCH, IT’S TOO MUCH

Now we cut to a Plot Heavy Scene, featuring our boys and lxc and lqr, that is not relevant to this post at all EXCEPT I HAVE TO SAY OH GOD, LWJ LOOKS SO BABY-FACED HERE?? HOW?? HIS LITTLE FACE LOOKS ALL ROUNDED AND SOFT AND HIS LIPS ARE ALL POUTY. HE’S BEBY. I JUST WANT TO WRAP HIM UP IN BLANKETS AND GIVE HIM HOT CHOCOLATE

More plot discussion happens and whatever they’re talking about makes wwx bump shoulders with lwj and call him “my confidant” AKA MY SOULMATE AHHHHHHH

OH WAIT, do you know what else is important about this scene?

It shows how much taller wwx is than lwj!!! And I LOVE IT.

Lwj’s shoulders are a good two inches lower than wwx’s

WHY ISN’T THERE MORE FIC/ART SHOWING THIS??

I MEAN, THE STOIC SOLEMN CHARACTER IS SMOL AND THE SUNSHINEY CHARACTER IS GIANT. IT’S SUCH GREAT COMBINATION!!!

I think ppl in the cultivation world probs don’t realize how short lwj is bc he gives off such an intimidating aura i’m so jealous; i need to get myself an intimidating aura

Blah blah more plot, wwx promises not to tell anybody anything about the plot blah blah

Right after that, they bump into nhs who’s like, hey you guys were gone all night did anything weird happen?? (this is the guy who sneaks porn into this place on the regular, i’m pretty sure we all know what he means by “weird”)

Wwx: oooh, yeah, this super weird thing happened, let me tell you all about it

Lwj: *whips around to stare at wwx likE OMG SRSLY YOU JUST SAID YOU’D KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT*

Wwx: *proceeds to tell nhs a spooky lie about meeting a demon snake*

Nhs: *flees in terror bc he thinks snakes are scary for some reason* (they’re not, snakes are def cute critters)

Lwj: *exasperatedly rolls his eyes at wwx’s frankly amazing story-telling skills*

AND HERE WE GET TO SEE THE FIRST TIME LWJ STARES LONGINGLY AT WWX. LWJ, THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR MAIN HOBBY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

Wwx runs after his brother and slings a playful arm around his shoulders and walks away without a second glance to lwj

Lwj stares soulfully at him, def noticing that wwx didn’t spare him a second look (poor bb lwj)

After a moment of Soulful Staring, his lips part as he lowers his gaze to the ground and decisively turns and walks off

INTERNALLY HE’S LIKE OFC WWX WOULDN’T WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME SINCE I’M ALL STOIC AND REPRESSED BUT THAT’S FINE, IDC, I DIDN’T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HIM ANYWAY

POOR LWJ!! DOESN’T THIS MAKE YOUR HEART TWINGE???

Even more plot stuff happens

But they make it worth the wait because now we get to…

THE LANTERN SCENE (PART 1)

YES, YOU HEARD RIGHT.

WWX: lwj, we should set off a lantern and make a wish together since we’ve been thru so much together now

LWJ: *pulls a batman* I work alone 

WWXX: habits change!! Besides, i made this lantern specially for you~! *shows drawing of magic cave bunny on the lantern*

HERE WE GO GUYS, OMG, IT’S HAPPENING

Lwj looks at the lantern and, just, his face, ahhh, LWJ’S ENTIRE FACE GOES SOFT AND WE SEE HIM SMILE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE SERIES

FIRST!!

TIME!!

EVER!!!

AND IT ONLY TOOK 7 EPISODES!!

I’M DYING I’M D Y I N G

HIS LIPS PART AND THE SMILE JUST GENTLY BLOOMS ON HIS FACE, ILLUMINATING IT SOFTLY LIKE A FUCKING SUNRISE OR SMTH

FUCK IT’S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL IT’S MAKING ME POETIC

GAHHH

NO WONDER HE NEVER SMILES

THAT SMILE COULD KILL PEOPLE IN THE BEST WAY

Ofc wwx has to ruin the moment by giggling at him and saying “hey you’re smiling!!”

Okay, guys, you know and I know that wwx is giggling from joy. Like yay!! I made lan zhan smile!! I did a Good Thing!!!

He is genuinely tickled pink about making his soulmate happy!

But remember, LWJ is the King of Repressed Gays here. So, you know, the laughter in his ears sounds mocking. Because he’s a dumb boy who can’t Emotion well yet.

LWJ reacts to the giggles by immediately grabbing his sword which startles wwx into stumbling back into the group behind him and the mood is effectively ruined

But just for a little bit!!

Then ~THEIR SONG~ starts playing in the background AND THEY SEND OFF THEIR LANTERN TOGETHER, WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT GENERALLY ONLY ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED COUPLES DO 

as is shown by how everyone’s trying to get jyl and jzx (aka our token heteros) to send off a lantern together

The pair of them, need i remind you, are currently betrothed (even tho that dumb peacock doesn’t deserve her)

so yeah, that’s totally not gay at all

WWX makes his wish: “I wish to always stand with justice and live without regrets”

THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE MOMENT. 

THIS IS WHEN LWJ FALLS IN LOVE, I SWEAR

LWJ is watching wwx as he’s making that wish (more of an oath, really), and as soon as he hears those words, his eyes widen the way they do when someone gets hit with a life-altering realization. He’s completely thunderstruck 

IT’S NOT SUBTLE GUYS

YOU CAN PRACTICALLY SEE CUPID’S ARROW STICKING OUT OF HIS CHEST (OR WHATEVER ANCIENT FANTASY CHINA EQUIVALENT THERE IS)

THAT’S IT. HE’S A GONER. THERE’S NO ONE ELSE FOR HIM NOW. NO ONE BUT WWX.

For real tho, after this moment, we really don’t see lwj be angry towards wwx like he has been. Annoyed and exasperated at him, sure, but never angry in a petty mean way like before.

It’s beautiful

The next wangxian moment isn’t nearly as intense but it happens shortly after the lantern scene

Wwx goes to beat the shit out of jzx for saying he doesn’t want to marry jyl (because jzx is a moron and definitely deserves a beat down for this insult)

Wwx and jzx are surrounded by a group of loud, flailing people

And lwj just dives right into that throng of people to get to wwx (contrast this to a scene in a later episode where he actively avoids going anywhere near a much calmer, collected group of people bc ew people)

Lwj: *grabs at wwx* stop, wei ying

Wwx: DON’T STOP ME, LAN ZHAN, IM GONNA KILL THIS GUY DEAD IS2G

Next wangxian scene takes place the following morning

Lwj is walking along minding his own business and sees wwx kneeling as punishment for the fight before

He approaches him and calls out to him.

THIS IS IMPORTANT

This is the first time we see him willingly initiate interaction with wwx. Every other time, wwx was the one to approach him first and start to pester him for attention.

BUT LOL JOKE’S ON HIM. THE FIRST TIME HE DARES TO APPROACH WWX FIRST AND HE IMMEDIATELY REGRETS IT

‘Oh hey lan zhan’ wwx responds to LWJ. ‘look at all these little ants i found on the ground!!’

‘OMG WWX YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE KNEELING TO REFLECT ON YOUR MISDEEDS NOT TO PLAY WITH ANTS. SO UNTEACHABLE’ *walks off in a huff*

Wwx is left pouting and saying ‘but the ants are so cute.’

I’M SORRY WHAT??

WHAT DID YOU SAY WWX?? ANTS ARE CUTE??

ANTS ARE NOT CUTE. 

YOU, WWX, YOU ARE CUTE. ANTS ARE NOT. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

(i just really hate insects, guys, i would not get near them even if wwx was the one holding them)

(okay, maybe if wwx was holding them, i’d try to get near them, but idk how successful i’d be)

Blah blah more plot stuff happens, blah jin “can’t keep it in my pants* guangshan exists now blah blah 

Alright so now we have the jiang clan saying their goodbyes to the lan clan since i guess Ancient Fantasy China summer school is over maybe??? Idk, point is they gotta leave. 

As they leave, wwx starts to whisper at lwj “lan zhan, lan zhan, about that Plot Device…”

But gets tugged away by his fam, HOWEVER he manages to hear lxc telling lwj to be careful in that foreboding Important Plot Things Are Afoot sort of way

And wwx makes the effort to go back to talk to lwj but jc grabs him and yanks him out by the arm

Jc: are you crazy?? That guy hates you!! He must be happy you’re leaving

Wwx: LIES AND SLANDER, everyone here LOVES me

Idk about everyone, but lwj definitely loves him and jc knows nothing

now it’s THE RETURN OF WINGMAN LXC

The lan bros are watching the yunmeng sibs leave

Lxc: gosh, it’s gonna be quiet here without him, huh? (HIM, HE SAYS, NOT ‘THEM,’ HIM! BC HE TOTALLY KNOWS WHO LWJ IS ACTUALLY WATCHING)

Lwj: *looks down to the floor and refuses to answer*

Lxc: soooo…r u gonna tell him about your Super Important Mission?

Lwj: no. *walks away*

Jeez, he walks off on his big brother a lot, doesn’t he?? Rude. didn’t your parents teach you any manners? Oh wait that was an awful joke and i’m a terrible person, SORRY LWJ

AHHHHHHHHHHH WWX WITH THE BUNNIES!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Wwx: *holding a bunny* Bunny, are you gonna be happy hiding here??

Wwx: *pretending to be the bunny* Happy!! 

GUYS THIS SCENE IS JUST TOO CUTE FOR WORDS. 

I REWOUND AND WATCHED IT LIKE, 3 TIMES BECAUSE THE CUTENESS WAS JUST UGH I COULDN’T RESIST. 

HIS VOICE GOES ALL HIGH PITCHED THE WAY IT DOES WHEN YOU MAKE VOICES FOR YOUR PETS!! IT’S ADORABLE AHHHHH I DIE, I DIE

Wwx: maybe i should take you back to lotus pier with me…?

Wwx: hmm, no, i can’t do that. What if lan zhan gets lonely and comes here looking for you? He won’t be able to find you!!

This is literally what wwx said. Like, that was the deciding factor for not taking the bunny home. 

Lan zhan might get lonely. HOW SWEET IS HE. WWX, THE SWEETEST BOY, WHO’S SO IN LOVE AND DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IT YET

Then as he’s bonding with the bunny he gets the epiphany that OMG LWJ IS GOING ON THAT SUPER IMPORTANT MISSION ALONE, WITHOUT HIM

And that’s the end of that episode. 

but we got to see the EXACT MOMENT LWJ falls in love for real. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. Not to mention the we were gifted the accidentally-falling-on-top-of-each-other trope. 

and we got bunnies! did i mention the bunnies and wwx being adorable together? because that happened.

Ah, this is the show that just gives and gives *wipes away tears* what did we do to deserve it?

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[trensu]

Episode 8: the One where NHS is a Total Cockblock

We are blessed with the opportunity to see WWX play with the bunnies again~! Meaning that this episode starts right where it left off last.

After WWX realizes that LWJ is going on the Super Important Mission, he starts complaining to the bunnies

WWX: We promised to go on that adventure together! You guys were there, you saw him promise, didn’t you??

WWX: and he’s DITCHING me?? FRIENDS DON’T LEAVE FRIENDS BEHIND!!

the bunnies definitely agreed with him. we don’t actually see that happen, but it’s true.

Now the rest of the Yunmeng sibs appear to share a moment with the bunnies. It’s super cute but not a wangxian moment so we’re skip on ahead here.

Wait, one last bunny moment to share. We see lwj leave for his mission, and he stops by the bunny area and says, very solemnly, “farewell” to all the bunnies.

BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES BUNNIES, OKAY??

Blegh, boring plot stuff happens, yuck

NEXT WANGXIAN MOMENT - we see lwj walking alone wearing some stunningly bright blue robes 

(the white sash with that robe is really emphasizing his tiny waist, STOP THAT LWJ, I CAN BARELY HANDLE IT WHEN WWX DOES IT, I CAN’T HAVE YOU BOTH SHOWING OFF YOUR TINY WAISTS AT THE SAME TIME, I WILL DIE)

There he is minding his own business when suddenly he catches a loquat that was just chucked at him

GUESS WHO IT IS~!

(It’s wwx, in case you didn’t guess)

Anyway, back to the wangxian scene~!

Wwx: lan zhan!!

Lwj: *looks at the loquat he just caught and throws a dirty look  at wwx* Boring

WWX: *whining* lan zhan, how could you break our promise?? WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ADVENTURE TOGETHER, FOR HONOR, CHIVALRY AND DUTY!!

Wwx: ooh, did you ditch me bc you’re scared that i’ll steal your thunder?? Wow, i didn’t realize the lan clan was so petty.

Lwj: how boring *walks off*

Don’t worry, wwx is completely undeterred by this

Ugh more plot stuff

But then we get another wangxian scene!

They’re still walking in the middle of nowhere but lwj is ahead of wwx 

Wwx: lan zhan wait for me *whine whine*

Lwj: *ignores him and keeps walking*

Then we get a reappearance of wwx’s Mischievous Grin as he does some magic glowy talisman writing in the air and flings it to lwj

NOW THEY’RE MAGICALLY TIED TOGETHER, AAHHH

Wwx: I made it myself! Isn’t it neat~? 

(why, wwx, why did you feel the need to make glowy magic  rope? What were you doing that made you think of this? WERE YOU THINKING OF LWJ?? it’s okay, I understand!! who wouldn’t want to tie down the second jade of lan??)

He then proceeds to tug the magic rope every which way, which of course yanks lwj’s arm around to match, bc HE’S A CHILD LOL

Wwx: what should I call it? Binding or Bonding?

Lwj: *stares steadfastly away* Boring

Lwj then whips his arm back dramatically and it’s his turn to yank wwx around.

Ofc he doesn’t get playfully tug-of-war-ish with it. He just turns on his heel to keep walking. 

Alright now they reach a town for Plot Reasons and we have this funny moment where wwx finds himself a scary mask and sneaks up behind lwj to try to scare him! Doesn’t really work, but lwj’s eyes do widen just a fraction so maybe he was a little bit startled? Idk idk

In this town we bump into NHS!! And we get a glimpse of jealous!LWJ because of him!!

See, wwx is a touchy guy, right? If you’re friends, he’ll happily sling an arm over you and tug you in close for conversation

Which is exactly what he does with NHS

Lwj looks at them while they do this before disdainfully dragging his gaze away and continuing through town

WHAT’S THE MATTER LWJ?? DO YOU WISH WWX WOULD PULL YOU IN CLOSE LIKE THAT?

DO YOU?? 

We cut to yunmeng to see a bit of jiang sibling time

And we’re back in town with LWJ, WWX, and third-wheeling NHS.

Nhs: so why are you hanging out with lwj who hates you? Are you being punished??

Wwx: how dare??? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW WE GET ALONG GREAT NOW

Then they stumble upon a group of people excitedly looking at something, we don’t care what

Hey guys, remember back in episode 7 when LWJ dives into a violent crows like nbd bc wwx was in danger??

Yeah, here lwj does not go anywhere near the nonviolent crowd

Wwx: lwj, why aren’t you going over there to check it out??

Lwj: no way, too many people

I FEEL YOU BRO. I TOO AVOID CROWDS LIKE THE PLAGUE

Wwx: it’s not that crowded! Come on!! You’ll be fine!! I’ll protect you *proceeds to physically grab lwj by the arm and drag him to the crowd*

AND NOW WE HAVE A WONDERFULLY PICTURESQUE MOMENT

It starts raining colorful flower petals!! The music in the background is upbeat and cheerful! Everyone around is making sounds of joyous surprise!!

Nhs looks over to LWJ and his jaw drops open: “LWJ truly is an unparalleled, gorgeous, elegant gentleman!”

No really, that’s exactly what he says to WWX about LWJ. 

The camera angles up here so we see lwj from a lower point of view, and get a shot of him silhouetted against a blue sky that just makes him GLOW as flower petals gently swirl around him. His face is serene.

What i’m trying to say here is that NHS NAILED HIS DESCRIPTION BC LWJ IS LOOKING LIKE A YOUNG GOD HERE.

Wwx: *gazes softly at lwj* I agree

Wwx: *internally* whoops that sounded too honest, better fix that

Wwx: TOO BAD HE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE’S GOING TO A FUNERAL, AMIRITE?? 

NHS is offended on LWJ’s behalf here but wwx doesn’t even care because he’s TOO BUSY ADMIRING LWJ’S GORGEOUS FEATURES

LIKE, OMG WWX, CAN YOU GET ANY QUEERER??

Plot things happen in town and then the boys leave

Yes, including NHS, what the heck (ilu nhs, but c’mon)

NHS: wait a minute…are we on a dangerous mission right now?!?!

WWX: if by “we” you mean me and lan zhan, then yes! Bc you’re not invited. This is mine and lan zhan’s time. Not mine and nhs and lan zhan’s time

Nhs does not take the hint, and LWJ keeps himself determinedly ahead of the pair so he can properly ignore them

MORE PLOT STUFF HAPPENS, WTF, CAN YOU NOT??

And now we’re in a cave!! Not the cave of wonders, but another cave!! For Plot Reasons we don’t care about!!

Plot, plot, dancing fairy legend, plot

MORE boring plot exposition. 

There’s way too much of that going on in this episode i think

They need to stop

Oh, now we’re getting another shot of jealous LWJ!

Random old guy: yeah, we don’t have any houses or inns or whatever so i guess you’ll just have to sleep in this creepy cave with the ugly fairy statue that may or may not steal your soul ByYyEeEE

Nhs is not, you know, the bravest of cultivators so he immediately gets all close to wwx and starts whispering to him how scared he is

The camera refocuses on LWJ who is a little ways behind them and BOY IS HE JUST BORING HOLES INTO THEIR HEADS

C’MON LWJ, WWX IS ALLOWED TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE

DON’T GET WEIRD ABOUT IT. DON’T BE THAT GUY.

Alright now we skip to the boys sleeping uncomfortably in this creepy-ass cave and THE FAIRY STATUE WAKES UP!!!

WWX & LWJ: I’MMA STAB IT WITH MY SWORD (guys, they’re practically synchronized here, probably because they’re ~soulmates~)

NHS: LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS GOT IT UNDER CONTROL SO I’M JUST GONNA HIDE BACK HERE

And then we see WWX use his binding technique to save the love of his life from getting smashed by the fairy statue’s arm.

He does this by tying his magic rope around the statue’s arm and pulling it back (while his braces himself on the statue’s side because he’s a badass) so the full weight of the blow doesn’t land on lwj (who blocks it with bichen)

ANYWAY these two are battling the fairy statue because they’re just that Skilled but obvs wwx never takes anything seriously…

WWX: Lan Zhan, she has a crush on you! :D :D :D

(omg wwx, now is not the time)

LWJ: Shut up

(see, lwj agrees with me)

And whoops, the bindings snapped! Before the evil fairy could hurt them more, wwx does a Dramatic Twirl and launches a couple of sealing talismans at it 

(@theuntamednarrator​ and I have determined that the Dramatic Twirl is super important to activating the talismans. The harder you Dramatic Twirl, the stronger they are. It’s just how magic science works.)

LWJ then reinforces them by doing this weird thing with his sword? He kind of…scrapes his scabbard against bichen and it starts glowing with blue energy (??) that he scoops up with his hand and launches it at the statue. 

Not sure what all that’s about but it works!!

Now, you’re probably wondering why i went into detail about the battle when bc it’s more plotty than shippy

BUT YOU’RE WRONG, IT’S TOTALLY SHIPPY BC WE GET TO SEE WANGXIAN WORK COHESIVELY TOGETHER TO TAKE DOWN A BADDIE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER

THEY’RE SO WELL MATCHED EVEN ON THE BATTLEFIELD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

THIS ISN’T EVEN THEIR BEST BATTLE SCENE. IT’LL GET EVEN BETTER GUYS, JUST YOU WAIT.

And that’s it for the episode. I hope we get to less plot-heavy eps soon bc let me tell you, this one kind of dragged with how few wangxiantics we were getting. 

STILL, we got to see LWJ be beautifully surrounded by flower petals so I’ll count this as a win.

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