#//i needed to find some dilemma that doesn't involve healing

[motsimages]

So here is some headcanon for Leota Adebayo and Amanda Waller:

She grew up as the single daughter of a very busy woman, so basically she was raised by a nanny, the neighbours and occasionally, her father (some holidays, weekends, etc.).

I don't think she is from Gotham, that would be Keeya. They met when Leota started working at the dog rescue. She moved to Gotham there, partly to get away from her mother.

She doesn't think her mom is a bad person, but mom is distant and depressed, sometimes she just didn't have the energy to be with a child. Waller is also a bit disconnected from the usual way humans behave and grow up so she would expect better and bigger things from her daughter at ages when it is impossible to ask a child for them. She is also so very used to dealing with politicians, diplomats and other high-ranking officers that she only knows how to handle certain situations through manipulation and long-term strategy. Again, this doesn't really work with a child.

When Leota was a teenager, she didn't really fight her mom back. Sometimes she outsmarted her. The house seemed peaceful for anyone visiting who didn't know Waller, but to anyone familiar with her? There was always some background noise. When Leota's father went to pick her up, he would prefer to wait outside. He also made it clear that whatever she did with her mom wouldn't work with him and tried to show her a way to deal with people that didn't involve double-thinking every gesture and conversation.

So Leota was very sociable at school, had some friends, not that much bullying. Also, because she suffered one episode of severe bullying once, Waller noticed and taught her how to deal with it the Waller way. It worked so well that many people took distance from Leota after that day (including some teachers) but other weird bullied kids gravitated towards her.

Leota did volunteering work in the neighbourhood too and she was the joy of everyone who met her, always cheerful and nice and kind. Dealing with other volunteers, with rescue animals (animals don't judge, they don't expect anything from you, they don't blackmail you), she opened herself to a world where people were happy and full of energy.

Coming back home, Mom was always busy and always with a long face. She doesn't remember having fun with her mother, only responsibilities and only realising that she is suddenly doing something she didn't want to do in the first place?

So she left to Gotham because Waller didn't like Gotham because it's dangerous and dark. It took Leota a long time to find a job there and she obviously showed her mother that it was the only possible outcome. When Waller realised how Leota pulled it off, she was more proud than angry that her daughter knew how to turn situations to her favour. It was her daughter after all.

And Leota was happy working with dogs, and with Keeya. She introduced her to her friends in Gotham, showed her the cool places, told her how to deal with the difficult parts of the city and its peculiar inhabitants. And it was so easy with Keeya, she couldn't believe it. It reminded her of how it was with her dad, so easy. So Leota decided she needed to go to therapy, figure out what was broken with her mother, heal from certain things. And it worked.

Waller never had a problem with Leota being a lesbian but she didn't fully trust Keeya at the beginning. It was all so simple for that kid, so clear. She just didn't seem to see how complicated the simple things are and it was starting to change Leota too. But Waller, beneath all the cynicism and the hopelessness is not an idiot. She is happy her daughter knows someone so far from it all, maybe Leota can enjoy that too. For a while.

Waller tried to make Leota a bit like her, to make her suspect and doubt, to find alternatives in creative ways, and Leota was good at that. She wasn't good at moral dilemmas, but she managed to make Leota pass her exams to enter the Task Force X with the promise that it was only so that she could protect herself in Gotham. Even though she brought up every once in a while that there was a vacant, that Leota would do well in x project... But Keeya was there to remind Leota about what she really wanted.

And what Leota wanted was a peaceful life, an easy life when you don't have to second-guess everything. The training was useful in Gotham, but that was it. She felt she owed loyalty to her mother, maybe she was good for the Task Force after all, but life with Keeya was so easy and fun. Until they both got unemployed with 3 dogs.

[pompadourpink]

bonjour, maman! j'espère que tu vas bien. there's a dilemma i'm hoping to get your advice on and it'll probably be long, sorry! i've always been the type to keep moving and not envision myself anywhere permanently (location, fixed career path, dating etc). when covid started, i moved back to my country, thinking it was temporary, but ended up staying (quite happy about that now). this prolonged time back home has kind of made me face that i have attachment issues. (1/4)

it's not that i've been burning bridges but i never really set my roots down anywhere (apart from a few close friends). the idea of living here has been growing on me and i'm trying to think long-term now - it's been fine career-wise but when it comes to people (whether in friendly or romantic terms), i still struggle. i've been living in a new town for half a year now and am about to start an internship where i know a former classmate also works. (2/4)

we were friendly but never really hung out and didn't keep in touch after i changed schools. it's been about 8 years since, i've seen him around in our hometown a few times in recent years and we've chatted a bit then.i'm debating if i should reach out to him ahead of that or just go with the flow if/when i bump into him. it's a big company and i'm only working there for one project and he's not involved with it so i might not even run into him. (3/4)

at the same time, i'm curious to hear what he's been up to and could use another friend around here so i'm tempted to reach out. i don't know if i'm scared of rejection, committing to things or something else but it's making me feel weird and overthink this, i really don't know how to go about this. (4/4) merci!

*

Hello dear,

I think the priority here is that you find a therapist that's been trained in attachment issues. In my experience, if you drag untreated trauma behind you, you will sabotage your relationships, even if you were lucky enough to find the right people, because your brain will gaslight you until the other person decides that you're too much to deal with and they haven't signed for this (you cancelling all the time, being too much, getting disappointed for no reason, etc.)

If you don't want to mess it up with that guy, start by getting Bumble BFF, finding people to have drinks with on your local subreddit, going to a class, a museum, the gym - anything that you have a personal interest in - and seeing if you can find someone who looks inviting, start a light conversation, and ask if they'd like to keep in touch at the end. Be the friend you'd like to have. Talk to anyone you can and learn how to make small talk, just to get used to it, to realise that sometimes people will want to see more, and some other times not, and that it's okay.

Therapy is particularly important if you struggle to befriend people because outside of personality, there might be reasons why people keep their distances. For example, someone who's been through a lot and hasn't healed yet is likely to share intimate details with perfect strangers and suffocate them. That behaviour screams: I need help, this is too heavy for me, I need someone, I don't care if it's you, I have issues, I want someone to carry them for me, no we can't talk about yours, look I'm crying, hold me, where are you going, come back I love you. Nuh-uh. Not your therapist, not your parent, this is already exhausting and I've only known you three days.

(This is an example of co-dependency, one of many options.)

Realise that you also have opinions about the people who try and talk to you, and if someone doesn't send you the right vibes, it's not a personal attack. They're just not the right fit. And yes, sure, when you bump into the guy, you can throw him a bone and his reaction will tell you everything you need to know. Your job will then be to accept his decision instead of taking it personally and letting it get to you.

Love,

Mum

[shadowofhapiness]

Shards Of Ice (17/20)

Summary: When princess Anna finds herself gifted a personal slave for her twentieth birthday, her life changes, as she becomes fascinated with the broken girl she’s been given as a servant. Discovering her present’s supernatural abilities and how she was forced to conceal them, Anna just might be able to help Elsa heal, offering her the one thing she’d always been denied, love. [Elsanna]

AN: A bit of a premature resolution to the angst at the end there, but I'm hoping to fit that in to the next chapter. In the meantime, here's a lot of panic and Anna realizing what type of a life she really wants (hint, it doesn't really involve a crown ;)). 

Rated: T

Word Count: ~ 5.900 words (~ 79.300 total)

Fanfiction.net - Archive Of Our Own

Race Against The Clock

The atmosphere in the room was absolutely stifling, and that was putting it lightly.

Anna knew she ought not to have expected anything else –this even was really important, it was for her, it was for the noble families (who had come a very long way for some) to welcome her into her new place in society and was a chance for her to get to know them a little better at the same time- but the big fuss, while it had initially beheld some sort of a thrill for her and had gradually become something she’d been looking forward to, she now realized, rather ironically, that she couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over and done with so she could run away, back to her own safe private bedroom where she knew she would be shielded from all of those expectant gazes.

Never one to be really shy around people whether they be familiar or mere strangers, it was rather uncomfortable how small this was making her feel just picturing herself, in the chair while surrounded by so many people, and as Anna watched the servants pass by with a copious plate filled to the brink in their hands (sometimes carefully balancing it and almost having it fall, much to the amusement of the younger princes seated at the front rows) and the sheer number of different guests that had turned up, the knowledge that each and every one of them no doubt had expectations of her –ones they hoped she would fulfill since it would be her duty once she stepped into her father’s place- and the sudden weight of it all crashing down onto her shoulders almost left her wanting for breath for an instant.

Keep it together, Anna, easy does it.

And through it all, that was definitely the worst part of it: keeping it together, showing them all what they wanted to see while at the same time, she felt like falling to pieces on the inside. Oh, Anna wanted to do right by them, live up to her father’s name and legacy, make her parents proud, but as she now felt more isolated than ever, she begun to realize the sheer size of the task at hand (one she would have to undertake alone), and more importantly, just how overwhelming it was. Even the deep calming breath she tried to take in order to convince herself that everything would be okay and that everything would be fine and that everything would work out wasn’t enough this time around.

It was in moments like this that she felt a pang of loss at the fact that she couldn’t simply be Anna, the real woman with a personal life and with her own feelings and emotions, the actual person who stood behind the title of ‘princess and heir to Arendelle’, and that she instead had to suppress all of that inner struggle for everyone else’s sake. The only one person she’d ever managed to let down that carefully crafted façade with had been Elsa –but those distant bittersweet memories, while she cherished them still, were just that, distant memories- and when scanning the crowd in the hopes of maybe spotting her among the guests and the few selected servants that had been tasked with serving them all food and drink throughout the evening turned out to be naught but a disappointment, Anna felt more alone than ever.

They didn’t understand. She didn’t blame them, but as she watched all of the Southern and Western nobles cheering (at the top of their lungs for certain, who must have already been slightly too indulgent with the wine), talking heartily, laughing at some clever twist of tongue or an inside joke she could definitely not hope to make out from where she sat and all around basking in what was, for them at least, a festive atmosphere, without so much as even sparing a glance in her direction –turning a blind eye to her panic, to the building anxiety in her chest and the overall loneliness Anna was drowning in, the whole lot hidden behind a carefully crafted mask- the princess was envious and, not for the first time that evening did she wish she could just partake in their levity, because seeing them all like this (simply having a good time), while Anna was definitely relieved they seemed pleased with the evening so far, she just selfishly wished for a moment that she could have that too. This was supposed to be a special day for her, was it really too much to ask for?

“You don’t seem to be doing so well.” Has said quietly from beside her, leaning his head in so as to not have to risk someone potentially overhearing them, and it took Anna a moment to actually process the fact that he was talking to her, the buzzing noise of the room certainly not accommodating any kind of small talk. “You need anything?”

I need a breath of fresh air. I need Elsa. But again, to her dismay, the blonde hadn’t magically popped up when her eyes quickly swept over the room for the second time in not even five minutes (was she really that desperate for her to be there? Anna guessed she probably was, at this point).

“You really do like her, don’t you?”

Anna’s panic came to a momentary halt, because damn it, Hans certainly wasn’t supposed to pick up on the fact that she still wasn’t over the ruined potential of what she and Elsa could have –might have, under different and more favorable circumstances-been, but it seemed the Southerner was much more perceptive a chap than she’d initially given him credit for. “Now really isn’t the time for-“

“Now might be the only time.” He whispered tersely, all levity to the conversation suddenly evaporating into thin air. Anna fully turned to him then, not too sure as to what exactly could have prompted him to chose to do so. “Look, you and I, we aren’t all that different from one another, a prince and a princess, we spent most of our childhood with people telling us how to act and what to say, we have big expectations placed on our shoulders and a noble name to live up to which comes before anything else. It’s not the most peachy of lives, but it’s ours. The thing is, you still have a choice, you can still walk away from it if you want to, you can just about do anything until you decide to make that speech in front of all of those people and making the whole thing an official matter. It’s not too late to turn back if it’s what you really want.”

Anna looked down, gave herself a moment to let all of that sink in.

It was nice to have someone like Hans, someone stuck in the same position as her, someone who truly understood how horrible this dilemma she was facing was. Looking back on it, Anna really hadn’t thought things through when she’d called things off with Elsa, she had thought it would be easy (just focus on your duties, forget the heart, throw yourself into the role a hundred percent and everything would turn out all right. Well, look how well that turned out), but when she woke up at ungodly hours in the morning by herself, other half of the bed empty where someone used to fill it, when the ache in her heart at how utterly alone she felt became too unbearable to deal with at times, when the brightest highlights of her days had become those tiny fractions of moments when she’d catch a fleeting glimpse of Elsa’s arm, the end of her braided blonde hair or even the tail of her signature purple dress (just knowing she’d been there) or –when she was lucky enough- the short actual conversations they’d had the opportunity to have, those were the most cherished of memories Anna had of the last few weeks. It only now dawned on her that those had been the moments where she’d felt at home, where she’d felt like Anna, like she was whole since this whole ceremonial business had begun, and despite the efforts she had been dong to control herself, those memories hadn’t faded away in the slightest. As a matter of fact, Anna felt that she was missing Elsa now more than ever.

“I-I can’t.” Anna stuttered half-heartedly, voice definitely lacking in conviction as the words she’d told herself over and over once again made it past her lips. “I wish I could, but I can’t, I don’t have a choice in this.”

This conversation was certainly starting to shape into something she didn’t want.

“I owe it to all of them, those people, they need me, I’ll have to lead them one day, it’s important that I follow in my father’s footsteps and take up his mantel when he will no longer be able to carry it, it’s my duty as princess and heir to the throne of Arendelle, and if the crown comes at the expense of something or someone I was personally attached to –am personally attached to-, well there isn’t much that can be done for it, I simply have to accept it.”

She shot him a strained smile, hoping that he would understand that there truly was no other alternative to this situation that she could think of. People like her, they didn’t have the luxury of going against notions such as duty and tradition, no matter what, surely Hans could understand that.

Glancing back at him, the Prince seemed to have gone quite sullen, eyes strained on his half filled plate as if hoping the appetizing looking food would put him in a better mood, as he kept quiet. Turning back to her own one, Anna wished for the same, for she was quickly finding that there wasn’t much to be happy about in all of this bar maybe living up to her family’s name. Elsa, although she had kept a hopeful eye out for her, still hadn’t shown up, and Oleg… Gods only knew where he’d gotten lost, the empty chair next to her mother still stuck out like a sore thumb and while she doubted her cousin would show up this late, Anna hoped that she’d be able to catch him later to have a word with him about it, and he better have a damn good excuse up his sleeve for missing out on all of this or she wasn’t going to let him live it down, ever.

Anna smiled grimly as she imitated her father, lifting her glass and ducking her head as she acknowledged the room’s enthusiastic toast to her good health, success and bright future (and she quickly found out that she really didn’t like being at the center of attention of such a large crowd)and brought the drink to her lips, the sweet smell the only highlight of this, thus far, rather gloomy evening.

Her dress had begun to itch, the costly fabric grating against her skin beneath and for the third time already, Anna held back the sudden urge to finger it slightly to dislodge the discomfort. The last person to have touched the fabric there had been Elsa, and, as she looked down at her sleeve, Anna could still picture the other girl’s creamy pale skin, her long and delicate fingers carefully adjusting her cuffs so they sat perfectly on her wrist, embracing it’s form, wanting not only for the ceremony to be perfect but for Anna to feel perfect too. In her silent gratitude, Anna drowned out the rest of the noise in the background, as she all too willingly let her gaze be captured by the edge of her sleeve and tried to put herself back in her very own room –away from all the noise, away from the crowd- back to a safe place, where it was just her and Elsa.

It had been intimate, such simple and ordinary gestures they had repeated over and over  every day of their life, but there had been something special in the way Elsa had let her finger trail on her shoulder gently as she adjusted the fabric (maybe she was even reluctant to break contact, or maybe that was simply Anna making things up in her own mind, reading too much into it) and it had been like Elsa was treating her like delicate glass, like she was performing a sacred ritual between the two of them –something nobody else was ever to by privy to-, pouring all of her heart into her meticulous task. Anna leaned back in her chair, reminiscing over the swell in her chest at just how much it was moments like these that made her feel so content in merely being alive. Moments where neither of them had needed to utter a sound yet love and utter devotion to one another had been written across both of their features.

And that, was what she missed the most right now, that sense of wholeness, of being with someone who understood her fully and who she, in turn, sort of understood back, the whole reciprocity of the thing that went far beyond gentle to passionate kisses and exchanged “I love yous”. The people here –and more importantly, one person among them, was probably to be her future husband –or at least, both her parents strongly hoped that to be the case- but they wouldn’t understand that connection, she and said stranger wouldn’t ever be able to build that bond she and Elsa had because, well, they weren’t Elsa. Anna wouldn’t marry any of those handsome and undoubtedly charming young men out of love, and the lack of a connection between them (which would be something mutual, she to him and him to her) would forever dig an ever growing whole they wouldn’t be able to mend. Never mind the hole she could feel growing in her heart at the prospects of such a life, a life of constant dissatisfaction because the one person she knew would be able to fill it would forever be out of her grasp.

Anna didn’t want this –the mask, the coldness, the distance, the sheer lack of true love that went along with taking up the crown- and as her hand clenched over her knew as she took in all of the utter fakeness of it all, she felt like running, wanted to run far away as she could of something that was completely not her, and which was not the future she wanted to be trapped in until she eventually died at a miserable old age, without ever having had the chance to truly live beforehand. The entrance door was right ahead of her, behind the sea of guests, taunting her with an escape, daring her to just stand up and run, take Elsa and run away and never come back, and Ana’s throat clogged up as she realized just how trapped she was. How trapped she was now going to be.

Life just wasn’t fair, was it?

She brought her hand up to her face, discreetly wiped away the moisture she could feel gathering t the corner of her eye –hoped everyone else would just read it as here simply being overwhelmed with the ceremony, at being utterly happy at the prospects of the world she was now entering and not be able to read past the impassive mask to see the last crumbling shards of a broken heart at the utter defeat of someone having to lose a part of themselves in order to endorse a disguise for the rest of their life. A mask that would rule the their every day, their every decision, their reactions out in public and have to quell their own personal being beneath when wrestling with difficult decisions calling for a little more compassion and humanity. Anna felt like a literal part of her soul was slowly being crushed right in front of her as it cried out for help, for her to fight back and keep it, no not give it up out of an obligation she was forced to fulfill, yet as she sat there, she found herself unable to do anything else besides watch as it happened, pretty certain that it was too late to fix things now.

When she woke up tomorrow, she would be completely alone.

Maybe it was for the best that Elsa had not been tasked with joining the ranks of castle servants whose task it was to bring them the food, Anna wasn’t entirely certain that she would be able to take it, having the one person who had come to mean the world to her (the one person she’d turned away with absolutely no explanation whatsoever) so close to her yet have to helplessly watch as that invisible barrier between them would firstly go up and then slowly tear them apart.

Swallowing hard, Anna reached out for her glass and took a large gulp (not exactly respecting the manners she’d brought up with, but with emotions threatening to take control of her entire body, it was the first course of action she could think of to counter it) and even at that, the cool drink did very little to help. At this point, she wondered if anything really could.

“Ah, Princess Anna, I must sincerely apologize for not coming over sooner, I’m afraid I must confess that I got quite caught up with small talking your esteemed neighbor Count Stephen over there, you’ll be pleased to know that he is enjoying himself immensely. Especially the refreshments, he asked me to pass his most hearty compliments to you and your kitchen.”

Anna offered the duke of Westleton a stiff smile and her hand to shake, knowing that she could not allow her weariness and will to just be out of here tarnish her behavior towards the duke or any of their other guests for that matter. For his part though, he seemed lively enough, little black eyes sparkling from behind his too-big pair of glasses, and she guessed that if at least someone was getting something positive out of all of this then it might just have been worth it in the end.

“Thank you, sir. And how are the chilly winds treating you here, nothing too uncomfortable I would hope?”

“Oh, I’ll quickly be right as rain after I return home, fear not, but I simply couldn’t pass up on such a special occasion. This is a singular occasion, you officially taking up your position as the crown princess and heir to the kingdom of Arendelle, I thought it nothing but polite to assist the great fortune of a neighboring kingdom in person.”

Anna’s features remained crisp, her whole body going rigid as the old man leaned in his eagerness and excitement certainly lending him to be slightly over-friendly towards her, which was certainly not a feeling she was inclined to share, as she all but wished this was over already so that she could scamper off back to her room, if not to get away from the celebration itself than at least to escape the slightly over-enthusiastic duke.

Maybe if she was lucky enough, she could even request after Elsa, share a moment with her, just the two of them.

“Your good wishes are certainly appreciated.” She offered curtly, crossing her fingers beneath the table vainly hoping that it might get him to just go away. But of course, as if the evening being nothing but morose and one interminable anxiety fest for her wasn’t enough, her prayers went unheeded, and Westleton seemed to plant himself right there, determined to get a conversation out of her.

“Why, you’ll have to come over and visit us one of these days, see and learn about all of our customs in the South and take some time so we might be able to establish a potentially better maritime route with your kingdom –I know we could get a lot of benefit out of a good deal both you and I- and Prince Hans would surely be thrilled to verse you in our ways. And maybe you might even deem it possible to bring along your dear cousin –what was his name Olgar? Olaf?”

“Oleg.” Anna corrected, clearly not amused by his antiques.

“Why Oleg, of course, forgive me for momentarily forgetting it. But as we brought the dear prince up, it does beg the question, where is the lovely gentleman, I have yet to catch a glimpse of him. Ought he not to be here?”

The question made Anna painfully aware of the vacant chair to her right, her cousin‘s absence something she had initially tried not to let dampen the atmosphere. However, not that even their esteemed guests had noticed it, it really became something to be embarrassed about. Whatever Oleg would come up with later to justify his absence was definitely not going to be good enough to save his sorry skin this time around.

“He must have been held up with someone I take it.” Anna ventured, not really knowing what else she could offer the old man as a means to excuse her cousin’s decision to not show up. It stung as she realized it, that Oleg was going to miss out on this, that there was still this small possibility that he had chosen not to assist the ceremony, which he knew had been something important for Anna. A part of her, the one that was always willing to see the best in people, to give everyone a bright smile and look at things with the most positive outlook possible really didn’t want to believe that –that both Oleg and Elsa had consciously decided not to be here for her tonight- but why else were they (still) not here? The first appetizers had been served, the drink was already beginning to flow, the servants had already pulled out of the room and were headed back to the kitchens for the most part, had he (and the blonde) been caught up in the flow they surely would have made their way to them at this point.

“Oh well, I guess he’ll miss out on the toast then… Which is why I’m here actually. Your Majesties,” Westleton said, briefly glancing to the both her parents, “I have a very special gift for you, your highness.” And Anna watched intently as he signaled over one of his fellow servants from the Southern kingdom (recognizable with their foreign-looking attire) with a gesture of his hand. Very carefully, his thin arms picked up the heavy-looking engraved crystal bottle the stranger brought over on a lavish tray, the sparkly red liquid sloshing around.

“Please allow me and Prince Hans to offer you the very best of our Southern vineyards, especially chosen for you by the Prince himself in your honor.”

“I-I,” To be truthful, Anna had certainly never expected something like this, and for a moment, she felt a little embarrassed at receiving such an obviously expensive gift. You really didn’t have to was on the tip of her tongue, ready to express how out of place she felt, but aware that it would no doubt reflect poorly on her to turn down such an offering –especially one so luxurious- and so she took it with both hands, balancing the surprisingly heavy bottle in her left arm for a moment before bringing up her glass with her right and pouring the content into it.

“To a lovely evening and to your good health.” She offered as a toast when raising the glass to the room, the light of the crystal hanging from the ceiling making the liquid inside shine, and the whole room burst into an echoing sentiment, offering a hearty toast in a uniform cheer. It certainly smelt divine (Anna guessed Westleton must be an expert in all of these things) and once the crowd settled down, her lips trembled as she lifted the recipient, cool rim now against her mouth and about to tilt up when-

“No don’t!! ”

The brunette didn’t even have a moment to realize that she’d let go of the glass until the sound of a loud clatter rang in her ears, and, looking down, stunned, to where the carefully crafted pieces now lay, frozen solid.

 Elsa’s beating heart thundering in her ears was the only thing she could vaguely make out as she stood there, stock still, arm still outstretched for a moment, the whole crowd on onlookers staring right back at her, with expressions varying from general surprise to shock to hints of fear. There was a second of confusion, where nobody breathed a sound too busy were they trying t figure out and understand what had just happened under their noses and Elsa swallowed then, hard, painfully aware of what she had just done and just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Punishment of some kind was definitly coming her way, because while Anna maybe understood her and saw her as more than a mere ice wielder, servant or monster –as an actual human being whose wants and desires were worthy of being taken into consideration when it was possible- these people probably didn’t, and it was as her actions were sinking into them that it dawned on her that saving Anna’s life might just be coming with a very steep price, one Elsa had certainly not entertained before using her magic to freeze the pristine glass.

The illusion of peace broke then, cries of outrage and fear overwhelming the room as everybody began to panic, making for the walls and windows on either side, as far away from Elsa as they could possibly get out of fear of being the next ones to meet a similar fate to Anna’s glass while Westleton’s screechy high-pitched voice cried out in outrage over theirs, “Get it! Bring the monster over here!” 

Elsa barely had a moment to process the fact that by monster the old man was actually referring to her when she felt two strong arms take hold on her on either side, and knowing better than to try and fight them (which would probably only worsen whatever decision was made a concerning her fate), the pair both escorted her in a less-than-friendly way to the grand table, where Westleton and Anna’s family were still seated. It was embarrassing, a meek servant like her being paraded though so many noblemen and women, who must all be looking down on her as she past (but Elsa would never know, too fearful of meeting their gaze, knowing they simply wouldn’t understand), and when she and the duke’s guards finally came to a stop, Elsa couldn’t do much either when she was shoved down on her knees none to gently, she simply kept her eyes downcast and didn’t dare meet any of theirs, fearful of jeopardizing herself even further by doing a wrong move.

“What is this?! What is the meaning of this?”

Weslteton’s voice betrayed how he felt, shaking with outrage and indignation – maybe it would have almost been comical under other circumstances- as he all but stomped over to her, his little disproportionate body not making him look very intimidating, but Elsa knew better, past experience had taught her that the brutish-looking weren’t necessary the worst. She quickly flinched back as she felt the cool end of a blade against her neck, which forced her to straighten up, and it was all she could do in order to not swallow, to fearful of injuring herself if she did, and given the potential wound location, there wouldn’t be much that could be done if her neck got cut too deeply.

Her cold hands were shaking badly now.

“No! No, don’t hurt her!”

It was as she saw the silver glinted metal dangerously close to Elsa’s neck that Anna finally managed to get her body to snap out of the paralyzing stupor and stop Weslteton before he did something permanently damaging. Stiffly, she made her way over, as if the trance she’d been a moment ago was somehow still affecting her as she rounded the corner of the table, not caring in the slightest if her decidedly unroyal behavior were to elicit comments from the still stunned crowd. She came to a halt to Elsa’s side, determined to let the duke know that she valued the older girl as her equal, and extended a hand to where it hovered over the older girl’s shoulder, almost touching it, as if it were a silent reassurance that she completely stood with her. Elsa, on the other hand, wished the hand were touching her shoulder, as she thought just grounding her that much more in the here and now might just be what she needed to save her life.

“Don’t you even dare lay a finger on a single one of her hairs on her head.” It was the first time Elsa had ever heard Anna be well and truly angry and the unmistakable threatening quality of her tone –quiet, sharp, but definitely something that ought to be feared- and when the old man refused to lower his weapon, Anna continued with the same air of royal authority, “Put the blade down, now. I’m sure there’s an explanation for all of this.” For a moment, a flicker of hesitation followed her statement, Anna now knowing she had just put her whole situation in jeopardy over a mere servant, but she guessed she was too far in now, and if saving Elsa came at the cost of her title and the respect of those noblemen and women, well so be it. She was pretty certain now that Elsa was someone worth sacrificing it all for.

“You can’t expect me to lower my sword when that thing could attack me at any moment or-“

“That thing has a name, it’s Elsa, and she is my servant, thus under my protection. You will do as I say, now.”

“Do it now.” He father’s crisp and similarly authoritative voice echoing her command gave Anna a little reassurance, knowing that at least he had her back on this decision, that it wasn’t something wrong she’d let her impulse and feelings chose to do without thinking it through first. It certainly halted Westleton, whose hand froze mid-way from reaching for the knife on his plate. “I’m certain that there must be a good reason for this outburst.” And at that, he looked at Elsa with an unusual severity in his gaze, unlike how he’d ever come across to her before, but Elsa supposed the circumstances called for it: she had raised a hand on one of their guests for reasons he knew not yet, to the King all of this likely made little sense. His bushy eyebrows were drawn, frowning almost, and he looked so unlike the gentle man who had taken the very first step in freeing her form a miserable life of slavery by offering her a second chance at Arendelle castle. Elsa gulped in anticipation, definitely knowing that a person of her stature ready to strike a visiting official would not reflect well on any of them, and she could only hope that she’d manage to argue her case convincingly.

“Do you have an explanation for this, Elsa.”

She cast a glance towards him, to his apologetic looking wife in the background and finally to Anna, and the worried crease in her eyebrows and by the way she was biting her lower lip to quell her anxiety let Elsa know just how nervous the other young woman was concerning her fate. A fate Elsa had barely thought about when intervening: Anna’s life had been in danger, there had been little other choices she would have made.

However, the King asking her the question personally, asking her before asking Westleton for his version of events, did not go unnoticed by her, and Elsa took it for what it was: he was trying to offer her a chance to talk her way out of this, trying to let her argue her case in front of these people and maybe even giving her a chance to show them that while a servant she may be, there was a lot more to her than merely bringing the princess food or changing her bedclothes. Equally aware that he –and Anna- was also potentially putting his reputation and namesake at stake by choosing to favor a lower-class citizen over an eminent guest like the Duke, Elsa knew she could do nothing more than tell the truth, that-

“The Duke of Westleton had arranged for the beverage to be poisoned, I overheard him with one of his delegation in charge of the catering. I-I know it was not my place to act out when I had not informed any of you beforehand but I-“ And here Elsa faltered for a moment, unable to look anywhere else but at her feet as the stunned crowd went silent, all ears trained on her, “I just, I just couldn’t let him hurt Anna. I know what I did was dangerous, I know that I shouldn’t have used my magic when I could have hurt any person in here, but I-”

Now rambling on and at a loss as to how exactly she ought to finish her sentence, Elsa felt her cheeks heat up as she still kept her eyes locked with the decorated carpet below, the murmurs of indignation and suspicion already flying among the crowd. It was only when she felt something soft on her cheek that she dared look up, right into Anna’s eyes.

Elsa’s breath stopped for a minute, aware that this was the absolute closest that they had been in a very long time and unsure as to what that entirely meant. Was Anna about to whisper to her to run along to the kitchens, wait for her there where she would come in later and address her due punishment? Was she about to berate her in front of everyone? Was she maybe even going to strike her across the face as a reminder to never lash out in such a public way ever again? Or maybe-

She certainly didn’t expect the princess to crush her lips to hers and kiss her passionately in front of everybody, and the wonderful warm swell erupting in her chest at the fact that Anna was taking her back, Anna wasn’t angry, and that Anna was showing her that she still loved her in front of everybody to sink in.

She choked on a watery laugh when they parted, almost doubtful as to whether it had been real or not, but when Anna’s personal little whisper of Oh god oh god oh god, I’m so sorry, how could I have messed up so much, thank you thank you thank you, thank you for saving my life, I love you so damn much and the repeated little kisses to her temple that Elsa let herself give in, her hands momentarily trying to get re-accustomed to the other’s body before fitting perfectly on her shoulders, just incredibly overwhelmed at this feeling of wholeness and belonging that were suddenly being restored to her.

Maybe a happy ending was in sight after all, the noise of the clapping crowd behind them certainly seemed to be in favor of it. Hopefully Anna was too.