#/j im just like weirdly like omg no other ppl notice him lmao

[whwie]

drunk me again, I feel like I make a diary post whenever I'm drunk bc I don't trust myself falling asleep drunk cuz my anxiety of dying in my sleep due to it, which is stupid and low ik.

anyways I spent my term 2 reading week with him and his sister which was cool and yada yada yada—He's cute and whatever.

but onto my main topic of this post, so drinking night in my dorm room, we playing a drinking card game. So someone picks a card that says "pick the person with the prettiest/best(?) smile, then that person choses who drinks".

And they chose my crush and he's starts acting shy then legitimately gets shy and blushes and his face gets red. While everyone is asking him to smile, so he tries but gets embarrassed and put his head in his arms. That goes on a bit of a small cycle. All while this is happening I'm like eternally saying "omg look he's red!!" but internally I'm really wanting to expand on the moments when he smiles that I find so cute and handsome and pretty blah blah blah all the simping terms.

AHHH I SHOULD'VE CALLED HIM CUTE OPENLY JUST LIKE MY FRIEND NEXT TO ME WHO WAS SAYING JUST THAT.

cuz the person who picked the card was like "yk his smile when he jokes...(that's a good smile) and it's contagious." which real. BUT I want to talk about all the smiles I notice, like the silent ones when someone says smth that needs more context, or be understood as an innuendo. And like for these he holds back his laughter/smiles and looks around the room to see if some1 else is reacting the same way.

And if I'm being honest I do that too, like a lot even b4 I liked him. BUT LIKE IM THE ONE USUALLY THAT MEETS HIS EYES IN THOSE MOMENTS. And that just makes me laugh even more. imma be delulu and say that he looks for me when shit like that happens (he doesnt bet) but it makes me really happy when I laugh after we meet eyes.

Imma keep it simple to 2 different times when he smiles/laughs differently that I like. Cuz I'm sure there's more that notice but I just can't remember rn. So the other time is when he's like dying of laughter, he'll like turn red from it and then try to keep standing straight up but can't, so he'll have to resort to holding his jaw in one hand and the other around his torso and like looks/leans down.

UGH HIS SMILE AFTER HIS LAUGHTER DIES DOWN AND HE LOOKS UP FROM LOOKINV DOWN BUT STILL HOLDING HIS FACE. GOSH HES SO FUCKING FINE? CUTE? IDK ANYMORE MAN.

anyways he's cute like so cute and attractive, maybe it's drunk me but I think he looks at me more when I'm drinking (it is drunk me). Imma debunk that by saying that's only probable bc im sitting across from him-ish and the drinking night is held in my room, so I have a lot more idk social presence? authority? so obviously I'll get more ppl looking at me.