#<- i guess. more specific and EXTREMELY long vent in tags
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i have got to suffer more
#abyss shrieks#<- i guess. more specific and EXTREMELY long vent in tags#idk how much i need for it to not show up without clicking so i’m just typing this real long one out to make sure#i’ve always felt stuck in between being fine and struggling enough to need help#in nearly every aspect of my life#yeah i wake up exhausted almost every day but i still get out of bed on time (…sort of) so it’s okay#yeah i’ll randomly be in pain. but i can manage. it’s not that bad. i’ve just been sitting with poor posture. right. it’s fine#i can barely remember most of my life. most of the few memories i have are painful. but every kid has some troubles growing up. right#never mind the fact that the friends i’ve opened up to tell me it’s not normal or acceptable that i’ve been treated that way#some other people have it so much worse. how do i have the right to say anything’s wrong#everyone’s struggling in this day and age. who am i to want anything more than them. who am i to say i deserve it#and all this adds up. i know something’s wrong. a lot of things are wrong#but individually none of them are wrong Enough#i know it’ll never be enough. i know no matter what i won’t think my pain is bad enough to need help#i know it’s wrong to want to suffer more when someone is going through exactly what i desire and wouldn’t wish it on their worst enemy#but i just. i just want to stop being stuck in the middle. sigh
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