#@ : htgbwye.

[boyfhee]

how is htgbwye!heeseung doing?

i'm late but he's going good!!!! it was his bday a few days ago, he spent it with friends ( for the first time ever since the incident so that's development ) he planted yn's fav flower in the backyard of his house and talks to it everyday, he's also planning on getting a pet soon, but has been conflicted since he spends most of his day out in the city for motivation for his next big work. had a blind date a week before his bday that didn't go well because it rained and he was drenched. found a very very old polaroid of him and yn (it was from university!!!!!) and cried but now it's on his fridge. overall, he's doing well, healing, slowly

[boyfhee]

me, swift, asked that question

i knew it was you ml

[boyfhee]

it's a bit messy, im sorry for that it was my first time making something like that based on a work but it was took good to not do this, i hope u like it, I would love to hear ur thoughts if u dedicated to listen

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/68MI4VwuZTmQbgNtQIbg7L?si=67w4RopdRlyxluqYmW6RaA

- > swift anon i hope the link works

ps you're losing me by taylor swift is always added but it's sadly not on Spotify but yeah :3

STOP THE TITLE? THE DESC? THE WAY URE ADDED PHRASES FROM THAT FIC oh im in so much pain i don't deserve you love 😞💗 im going on a trip tmr so ig we're listening to this playlist the whole time while driving ^_^ i feel like im going to cry sm like more than i did while writing that fic . tbh i didn't even cry writing it i js had fun lol BUT THANK U FOR SHARING THIS PLAYLIST IM SURE IT'S WONDERFUL 🤍🤍🤍🤍 also wtf they need to add you're losing me on spotify

[boyfhee]

uh, UH?? u have a list of things he would write about, okay make sense... U WROTE A POEM??! excuse me?? me wants to read it. pretty please? 😳 "felt unnecessary"??!!!! i beg to differ!!! I WANT TO SEE ALL OF IT!!

im a sucker for heartbreak and things that will most likely make me cry!! ^^ so another heeseung angst, im waiting for it.. brought a blanket and everything

also, yeah the career switching stuff.. hit home for me.. cuz im not sure if what i chose was the right thing to choose.

taylor swift is a god. her sad songs are always hitting the rights spots!!! im worried... for myself!!

"So I wander through these nights

I prefer hiding in plain sight

My fourth drink in my hand

These desperate prayers of a cursed man

Spilling out to you for free

But darling, darling, please

You wouldn't take my word for it

If you knew who was talking

If you knew where I was walking

To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there

Where I pace in my pen and

My friends found friends who care

No one sees when you lose

When you're playing solitaire"

stop. he visits the memorial... *sobs*

LIKE DO U SEE HOW FUCKING HEESEUNG CODED THIS IS like for his poems but i could just be insane.

u think im interesting? im gonna pass out.....

- > swift anon ♡♡♡♡

I WOULD'VE ADDED IT BUT IT DIDN'T SEEM USEFUL FOR THE PLOT . but here's what i wrote ( i am Not a poet also this was inspired by a lot of songs and art works pls )

HALF OF IT ☝️☝️ doesnt make sense bc the fitzgerald in me in not fitzgeralding ( i mention him too much, he's my favourite poet ) ALSO ANOTHER REASON I DIDNT ADD THIS WAS BC OF THE QUOTE ON TOP OF THAT FIC . i typed it and went 'from red wine' but writing this poem i was like 'where do i add that thing' and i decided to not add the poem as a whole :>

AND ANON U GET ME angst is the superior genre in my eyes. u can serve me all the fluff in the world but i would still read the most heart wrenching angst before bed . and dw about the career thing! unless ure certain of choosing another line, don't make decisions on impulse. i'm still in med, i'm doing good, it was a moment of weakness bc my scores were kind of bad 😞 if u really like the field you've chosen, it won't disappoint u, and if u dont then i suggest u find interest in it or go with something that you enjoy ^^

SPILLING YOU OUT FOR FREE she's crazy for that line. how does she come up with these like im gna cry over that fic more by reading ur asks than ive cried while writing it ( i didnt even cry while writing it, i was having the time of my life ) but that line, the 'spilling you out for free' is so heeseung coded bc all his works are about yn, and no body asked for it. his editor probably begs him to write something that's not heartbreaking but who cares because ten years later, heeseung is still in love with you ( i am not okay typing this i dont like thinking the aftermath of angst i write . it never ends well for me )

BUT YES ALL OF SWIFT'S SONGS CAN GIVE A LOOK INTO HIS WORKS, WHAT HE WRITES ABOUT ohhh i have a love hate relationship with poets. and ure vv interesting swift anon i love u

[boyfhee]

hi!! well, i dont know what to say - i do have a bad luck with stumbling across the saddest quotes like that EVERY time i read angst :/// i truly believe it is the universe mocking me! 

okay *pretends that if love sick was a person is not in the same timeline* oh im fine now 🙂

im probably not okay, but thank u! u should be PROUD af cuz htgbwye is a masterpiece, im not kidding, the moment i realized that u got me thinking about it and rethinking the way i view/ed life u know u did something truly special !! and im sure its not only me :))

 i know that the plane already took off, but i can't let go, i truly cannot let this work go and i was thinking about where heeseung is now… and its wrong and its painful and i would love to buy his poetry book - thats all i have to say 

also another taylor swift comes to my mind- “right where you left me” - if u want u can check it out if u want to ofc ^^ some of the lyrics are  just hee coded, like the title ALONE is- okay i wills shut upi should stop doing that too but i cant ,comparing two masterpieces is what i live for <3

anyhow

i would love to be an anon!! that sounds super fun ! i should be swift anon at this point ? my brain is not braining and thats the only thing i could come up with, is that okay?

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, im so so very sooooooo excited for “fair and square” !!!! time to relax and enjoy something more fluffy....... i hope !!!!

ps. i seem to be unable to write short asks lol, i hope u have a great weekend!!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

nah that is SO foul, but the way i never come across cute happy fics after posting angst 💀 like i always see angst . it's the price i have to pay bae we're in this together 😞

honestly htgbwye is somewhere adapted from my thought process while i was thinking about switching career lanes, ofc i didn't have it as bad as yn godbless like i hope no one goes thru that, but that thing surfaced from the deepest corners of my brain, and i spent around 6 months writing it so it's definitely something i hold close to my heart :) AND HEE'S POEMS actually i have a short list of things he'd write about, i even wrote a poem— red wine, the one i mentioned in there!!!! it was supposed to be there in the fic but it felt unnecessary ( plus, im not that good of a poet ) though, I'd love to read his works as, and i can confirm that he's doing good!!!! htgbwye heeseung visits the memorial for the victims from time to time to see yn, kinda sad how he's the only one growing older but it's fine!!! ( this is not helping u with the trauma is it )

AND NOT TAYLOR AGAIN that woman needs to stop writing sad songs . it's enough bc i think i will end up writing another heeseung angst at this rate :/ ALSO U DEF CAN BE SWIFT ANON that's super cute actually!!!

fair and square, i hope i don't overdo the angst there even if it's supposed to be super short :") but other than that, it's a cute fic, more like comedy. thank u sm for looking forward to it, and dw ab long asks ^^

[boyfhee]

if love sick was a person... WHAT DO U MEAN ITS KINDA BEFORE HTGBWYE UNIVERSE?? noooo nooo it was supposed be cute and all that now all isee is pain of what their future holds :(( NO WAY DID I BROUGHT THAT UP

there was a quote here on tumblr about tragedies and it hurt but kinda reminded me of all they went through

“the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”"

it felt like something heeseung would write in his poetry also so many taylor swift songs remind me of this fic

also i want to tell u that i will never NEVER MOVE ON from that fic, it literally haunts me, i have never felt so much cuz of a work... im spechless, ure superior.

ive realized all my asks revolve around this im sorry but it's just too much too good too uicksksjc usksjcjsksncchusjssn

ily for this, and if love sick was a person... im heartbroken... maybe they just loved too much it burst into flames at the end

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ps will stop with spam about that fic lmao sorry!

NO IM NOT SAYING IT WAS but i thought of it like that . in the process of writing htgbwye. u can very much pretend both the fics have nothing to do with each other and stay happy . AND I REMEMBER READING THAY QUOTE ON PINTEREST OR SOMETHING anon r u ok . why do u keep coming across things related to that traumatising fic . AND DON'T APOLOGISE PLEASE htgbwye is one of my proudest works, i can't be happier to know there's someone who appreciates it as much as i do :) idc if u sent more asks ab it bc im so down to discuss about that fic with you!!!!! and we're going to pretend that if lovesick was a person and htgbwye have Nothing to do with each other 😁💗 it's for our mental health . "maybe they loved each other too much it burst into flames at the end" STOP IT IM OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE .

also do u want an emoji/ alias for me to tag u as?? i figured it'll be easier for bih of us to track your asks, no pressure tho

[boyfhee]

i was supposed to study but IF LOVESICK WAS A PERSON popped on my tl and i just had to read it and wow.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ure so good!!

i loved it, real loved it, it was everything, please the whole need to be close to each other? LOVE, the little background on their realtionship? LOVE LOVE, this line "because your heart knows the rhythm his heart beats, every pulse echoes of him and you. " i beg u, my heart did a flip, their cute marriage talk? PLEASE, im so soft :((( the rings part was the last straw :((( i melted away i fear!!!

wow, thinkin back to 'how to get back with ur ex" - my heart that was shredded into pieces (yes, im still thinking about that fic, yes thats the first thing that comes to my mind when i hear tswift's bigger than the whole sky, yes i played myself while connecting those two, no im not fine, i have read that fic 3 (three) times during my break and manged to cry eveysingle time ???? , THAT HOW GOOD URE BTW, ANYWHO ^^) kinda, slighty, maybe felt at peace with this softness warmth, peace and love, true love ! !thats fulfilled in this universe ♡♡♡♡♡♡

thank uuuuuu sm, i loved it and i enjoyed it, thank u thank u a lot!

ps. im glad ure back !! i have my exams in june - and i already feel the stress

NAH WHY DID U BRING UP HTGBWYE we were talking ab lovesick hee and cute cute things and now im taken back to the sad parts . what if i say 'if lovesick was a person' could actually be ynhee before they entered the htgbwye universe? i mean i've implied how much importance they held in each other's lives in both the fics, i think it fits well ( esp the college and job part!!! yn always had doubts about studies, basically everything, as written in htgbwye ) HELPPP SRY FOR THIS BUT I JUST HAD TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MY RECENT HEE FIC ORIGINATED 😭

and you're read that THREE TIMES omg im sending u so many hugs and thank yous right now :( good luck for ur exams, im rooting for u!!!

[boyfhee]

"how to get back with ur ex" was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever read. it was also the best thing. it was mesmerizing in it's painful delivery.

during the part 5 taylor swift's bigger than the whole sky played.. it was just a bullet through my already broken heart i dont if u know that song but if you u listen/ed to it don't u think it suits hee here?

thank u for this, i don't think any amount of my thank yous will recompense the fact that u shared this with us!! thank u sm, it's been some times since it has been posted and the line "but you had a plane to catch and heeseung, he was already home" lives in my mind and it breaks my heart just the same everytime it crosses my mind ♡♡♡♡♡

anon first of all, thank u for taking your time to read that fic and write this, i appreciate it so much. and i listened to bigger than the whole sky as soon as i received this ask and when i tell u i cried bc it fits him so much oh god, the 'every single thing i touch becomes sick with sadness,' part resonated with hee so much. the 'you were more than a short time,' part as well!! thank u sm for bringing up this song yeahhh i cried fr . and i dont think any amount of thank yous can guerdon u for taking your time to reading my fic. AND THAT LINE that's my fav. i think about it occasionally and it breaks my heart bc my mind goes on a voyage about how he feels and more ( i can go on about it forever )

[boyfhee]

top 5 ficssssss of urs!! i also need to know this

-swift anon abusing the fact that ure online so hard rn

HELP its ok i think we're rarely online at the same time

belladonna / lhs : this is actually a very silly fic but my first time writing that genre so i like how it turned out

htgbwye / lhs : you saw it coming

fair and square / lhs : love how it came out

the world stage / yjw : literally my fav angst so far

way back home / lhs : wbh ynhee my parents

[boyfhee]

u cried to my playlist? wow? thank u ? i mean im sorry u cried but that means it was good i guess! i also cry to sad songs when im in a shitty mood to make myslef...even sader lol ^^ im glad u enjoyed it and that it inspired u !

i feel like sad beautiful tragic was THE song from that playlist, im being nosy but did any of the songs stand out to u?

– >> swift anonie

IDK it feels good to feel even sadder when ure sad....the feels are so Real. AND URE RIGHT when she said "in dreams i meet u in warm conversations" i had to pause LIKE THAT SPEFICIALLY REMINDS ME OF THAT ONE SCENE FROM HTGBWYE, THE ONE WHERE HEESEUNG SAYS SHE'S LIKE A GHOST WHO COMES AND GOES IN HIS MIND AT RANDOM TIMES OF DAYS YEAH THAT WHOLE VERSE IS CRAZY . personally bigger than the whole sky was THE song for me i think ab it and start crying, like atp id like to forget ab htgbwye and pretend they lived happily ever after

[boyfhee]

hello, i know ure on hiatus but im writing this on March 19th 2024 and i just wanted to say happy one year (can't believe its been a year already) to how to get back with your ex!!!! the amount of joy and tears that work has brought me is unmeasurable tbh, ill cherish it as long as it's here on tumblr. com, thank u for writing it, it is truly the greatest for me, really, the melancholic vibes never leave me and this always gets me even more in my feels and overall makes me question a lot of stuff about my life, which may sound a bit silly but yeah, im thankful for that

and the playlist i made for this fic is my go-to crying playlist lool (im good!! i swear)

it's been so long, so im also wishing all the best to htgbwye!hee, hope he knows how much i treasure him and that he isn't the only person somehow stuck in the past and haunted by ghosts of his what ifs, love u my guy stay, strong!!! :((

i hope ure also doing good and taking care of yourself!! the spring is (almost) here so and so is the sun so life feels a bit lighter finally! 🥰

-from... can u guess by now? swift anon!! 🥰 🥰 ILY and thank u, and imy

SWIFT ANON IT'S BEEN SO LONG HOPE YOU'VE BEEN WELL !!! do u know how sweet it is for me to open my inbox to ur asks ab htgbwye TT im so glad you hold my fic so close to ur heart and im honoured that it had such an impact on ur life >< ik things can get hard sometimes but everything will fall back into place gradually ! i dont know what's the take of htgbwye because i wrote it when i, myself, was having a hard time and i wasn't mentally as positive as i should've been ( that's evident thru the fic i think ) but i hope you're able to grasp the gist of it, maybe figure out your way around things because that's all i can hope for the readers since the characters in there didn't make it well

as for heeseung he is well i hope ! i dont have much to say except that he's doing better, finally coming to terms that sometimes life isn't as generous and certain chapters end without a proper closure which is fine. he has a new job in a restaurant but it's temporary, moved to a new place— did i tell you he has someone he thinks he's interested in? well he's not sure, but even if he does have feelings for them, i dont think the void yn left could ever be filled and he would rather have it that way

your playlist is so good btw it's been a while since i listened to it but im def going to listen more now that i have a lot of time ! reading this ask makes me want to write yet another angsty fic lol. i hope life has been treating u well ^_^ ( and yes i def guessed it was from u ml )

[boyfhee]

happy new year, life is full of surprises

-swift anon, haven't cried to HTGBWYE yet

i hope u dont cry to htgbwye this year and instead find new happy works to giggle about

[boyfhee]

swift anon i hope you know that i listen to your htgbwye playlist and cry

[boyfhee]

oh :( im glad hee is healing in his own pace , wishing him the best, he deserves it *breaks downcrying*

i will love him forever <3

ps i love the new theme !! i missed u also!!

-swift anon also known as htgbwye biggest fan

atp he should be on a blind date with you. but omg fr thank u for loving him sm htgbwye hee is js fictional but to think u adore him sm :( i love u fr

AND THANK U i've missed u too^^ how have u been?

[boyfhee]

oh im doing okay !! just started my summer break and im going on a vacation !! i wonder if reading htgbwye on the plane would be the most amazing idea ever or will i put myself at risk of crying but also its summer and this fic gives such a fall/winter vibes so maybe im just gonna daydream of a happy ending of htwgbwye like "what if " moment!! but that could alsomake me cry mann i dunno

im hope that ure okay!!! and taking care and doing good !! <33

-swift anonie ♡♡♡

let htgbwye GO!!!!!! why do u love to torture yourself why not reading happy and cute fics on plane and look at the clouds and fall in love why do u want to cry. BUT ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE, i hope u have a great vacation!! the break is v much deserved after the way school treated u 😂👎 enjoy it a lot and lmk how it was I need updates :(

[boyfhee]

hi, i hope ure having fun on ur trip! i finally found time to read fair and square!! and im so glad i did!! woahh after my stressful week THIS WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! 

 i could write here all of the amazing moments that happened in the fic, the plot, heeyn interactions the bickering but ofc its just them pinning (kill me i love that in fics), their bet and their kissing(omg omg blush blush) and everything in between that made this SO GODDAMN AMAZING CUZ everything that happened was truly fantastic, i could go into details fr and all that but i wanted to say there is always this one (or even more) part of your work that go kinda beyond the plot in a way, what i mean is there is some universal truth that comes out of specific scene in the fic(s) that

 1) suits the work perfectly

 2) is delivered so well that i have to pause and muse about my life for a sec 

3)its so effortlessly heart twisting (not always in a sad way more like it hits u with this  realization about the way u see world)  and it was strikes me like a whiplash…

in here the conversation between hee and yn about passion (his for basketball and hers for painting) holy fucking shit i read it and i was stunned fr, the connection and its all about timing god……that hit so close to home and MY GOD U KEEP DOING STUFF TO ME OFC LIFE IS ABOUT TIMING, god i hate how fucking good that moment was and then THIS FUCJING LINE

“if your timing is off, no matter how much you try, things won’t work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life”

………………………….. 

I LOVE U ur brain is soe8rhpqwdkasczx,wfnesdzx wnedsn wow wow wow  IWAS GAGGED OKAY and then hee saying he doesn't want to her to be a closed chapter ??????????????????????*poetic fanfiction cinema meme” do u know how many mental breakdown like this i had  while reading htgbwye  ( lmao it took me like 2 days to read it for the first time)

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i loved this fic so much!it made my heart happy in the best way possible, i enoyed every single word out of this masterpiece

 THANK U FOR THIS !!! thank u  <3 ure amazing like i cannot stress this enough URE AMAZING HAD TO SCREAM IT IN CAPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^

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                               – >> swift anonie ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

PS. it is definitely not fair and square that ure so… THE BEST EVER :33

MY TRIP WAS FUN YEAH PLS FORGET HOW IM REPLYING SO LATE . ALSO I CANNOT THANK U ENOUGH FOR UR WORDS STFUUU URE SO SWEET AND FOR WHAT 😭😭😭 the kiss scene was hardest to write i wrote it at the very last....gave me butterflies tho 😂☝️AND THE UNIVERSAL TRUTH UMMM i guess i like it when my works have a little meaning to them....maybe....mostly they dont but yeah, im glad u were able to notice it!!!! AND THE WHOLE CONVO AB THEIR HOBBIES IS INSPIRED FROM YOURS TRULY i actually had to give up on piano and painting for meds 😆and now im so scared to pick it up again like im afraid of disappointing myself....too bad i dont have a heeseung to tell me that i can do it again....WELL MOVING ON FROM MY DEPRESSING STORY.

and pls not the breakdowns...im sorry but it's fair bc i had multiple breakdowns while writing it . IT TOOK ME SIX FUCKING MONTHS i almost dropped it five times . almost . im so so glad u like fair and square, tbh not only that but htgbwye as well bc both are very close to my heart, AND NO URE THE BESTEST OF ALL LUV 💗